Let Them Eat Pretzels Cagney and Lacey

Thank you! Thank you very much, sir!

Goodnight, Mr Moqtadi. Goodnight.

TYRES SQUEAL

HORN BLARES

TYRES SQUEAL

CLOCK BUZZES

BUZZER STOPS

SIREN OUTSIDE It's Monday, Mary Beth.

Mmm...

Monday, Wednesday, Friday are YOUR days.

Mm-hm.

Come on - the kids need breakfast! Up and at 'em!

Mm-hm... I start kickin' in two seconds.

All right, all right, I'm up!

You sure it isn't Tuesday?

Yesterday was Sunday.

Feels like Tuesday.

I'd like syrup on mine, Grandma. Coming up.

Mom never makes French toast during the week. She works hard! She doesn't have time to fuss.

The guys at school think it's neat that Mom's a cop. Nobody messes with you.

But sometimes I'd like a normal mom. Like on TV, that serves lemonade and drives you to cub scouts.

And serves chocolate-chip cookies.

Oh, hi, Mom! Hey. Grandma's making French toast. You didn't have to go to all that trouble!

I'm an early riser. ..You look lovely. I like your pearl!

Thank you!

So, how about egg-salad sandwiches for lunch? We have some left over from yesterday. I HATE egg salad!

Me, too. Egg salad tastes like cardboard! That's all we got.

Mary Beth, I made a couple of roast-beef sandwiches for the boys to take to school. All right!

I was at the deli and I got it for their lunch. Thank you, Muriel. There's fresh coffee there.

Oh, great. So...whaddya say, guys? We make chocolate-chip cookies this weekend?

Yeah! I'll bake some this afternoon. I've nothing else to do.

How long's she staying? Two weeks or so - till they finish painting her apartment. Two weeks?!

Want to come and stay at my place? Why? Mothers-in-law and wives always have problems.

According to who? Everybody! Don't you watch Johnny Carson?! I read an interesting article

about marital discord within the extended nuclear family. Expands on Freud's Oedipal Theory.

Paul, no Oedipal theories before lunch! ..Muriel and I get on fine.

The Lieutenant wants to see you girls right now.

Women, Isbecki. WOMEN! Girls are under 18 and don't have detective shields. Touchy this morning!

Her mother-in-law's staying. Oh. My condolences. I LIKE my mother-in-law.

One advantage of being single is not having a mother-in-law. Of course, there are more exciting advantages.

Please, Isbecki, would you spare us the details?! Come on, Mary Beth.

You wanted to see us, Lieutenant? Yeah. Listen to this, will you? Virgo - that's me.

"You will see hopes and dreams come to fruition." That's terrific, sir. Do you believe this garbage? Nah.

Me, neither. ..OK, go to Lexington General Hospital. They brought in an apparent hit-and-run victim.

Sol Klein - a cutter in the garment district. If he's conscious, get a statement, and check for witnesses

at 64th and Lex. Right. What about you, Lacey? What's your sign? Taurus, sir.

Taurus, huh? Taurus... "Communicate with loved ones. An unexpected visit." That must mean Muriel.

Muriel? Oh, it's Harv's mother, sir. She's staying with us.

That's rough. If anyone can handle that, YOU can. There's nothing to handle. I like her.

That's what I mean - great attitude! Makes the best of a bad situation.

It's not... We should probably get started. Case and all...

I like my mother-in-law. OK.

Three cracked lumbar ribs, broken clavicle, perforated spleen, multiple contusions and concussion.

Will he make it? The prognosis is fair. Nothing life-threatening. When can we talk to him?

Depends how he comes out of the anaesthesia. There's often residual trauma. We may know tomorrow.

Is there anything you can tell us about what might have happened? I'm not trained in forensic medicine!

Just an opinion. We won't sue you for malpractice! He WAS hit by a car? I'd say a big car, going fast.

Way too fast. Knocked the body over there to the kerb.

Who found the victim? Subway conductor going to work at 4.00am.

People probably passed him, thinking he was drunk. Thank you. Thanks. Let us know about the rubber sample.

It's you.

Hi. We're detectives from the 14th precinct. We want to ask you about the accident. Did you see anything?

I haven't seen anything in 51 years, lady! Sorry, didn't realise. You want to talk to Sly.

He sells pretzels across the street.

Thank you, sir! Thank you.

Are you Sly? Yeah. The news vendor said that maybe you could help us.

That depends. Do you know why a hummingbird hums? Why?

Because it don't know the words! ..Pretzels? Yeah, two.

Sly, there was a hit-and-run here last night, between 10.00 and 12.00. You know anything about it?

You know how many cops it takes to change a light bulb? How many? Ten.

One to CHANGE the light bulb, nine to write out the report! Did you see anything last night?

I saw the whole thing go down! You did? Mm-hm. I was pushing my cart back to the garage on 63rd.

I saw him get wasted. ..Do you know three ways to spread news? Last one.

Telephone, telegraph...

tell a woman! Not funny. Why didn't you report it?

Sly don't have nothin' to do with no dead man - no how, no, sir!

You mess with stiffs...you next. You didn't do anything? Nothing...

except remember the licence plate. You got the plate off the car that hit him?! Care for another pretzel?

Forget the pretzels. What was the plate number, Sly?

O-I-L...

B-U-X.

Can you give me that spelling again? 'Hassan. H-A-S-S-A-N. Middle name, bin - B-I-N.

'Last name, Moqtadi. That's M-O-Q-T-A-D-I.'

Vehicle registration address?

'Care of Republic of Zamir - Z-A-M-I-R.

'Mission to the United Nations, 647 East 52nd Street.'

I got it. Thank you. ..You heard of a place called Zamir? It's an oil sheikdom in the Persian Gulf.

How do you know that? I do the New York Times crossword every day.

If that guy's a diplomat, we can't touch him. He didn't have DPL plates. So let's nail him! Here...

Thank you.

Thank you.

I feel like I'm in the middle of the Arabian Nights!

Too strong? Put that stuff in your car, it'd run fast!

I am Said Jamal, Deputy Chief of Mission, at your service.

Mr Jamal, I am Det Cagney, this is Det Lacey, from the 14th precinct.

We're trying to contact Hassan bin Moqtadi. Please, be seated. Thank you.

I trust that any inconvenience that Mr Moqtadi may have caused to your city is not of a serious nature?

It's a few parking tickets. With our diplomatic community, we prefer to do these things personally.

Your hospitality is appreciated. Is Mr Moqtadi officially attached to this mission?

Let us say he is filially attached. I beg your pardon?

He's the son of our Minister of the Interior, Sheik Moqtadi bin Amir.

Oh. Well, I trust he's enjoying New York. The weather's beautiful.

Anything that Mr Moqtadi can do to help with your duties, he will be pleased to perform. I'm sure.

I don't suppose you know where we could find him, Mr Jamal, do you?

He generally lunches between noon and 2.00.

Any particular place? He has a table reserved at Le Maquereau Pourri.

I beg your pardon? Le Maquereau Pourri. Oh.

Really, Hassan? That'd just be so super! When you smile,

you have little creases under your eyes which I find completely irresistible.

To us.

INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION

That's him? Come on, Mary Beth. Oh, excuse me, would you mind terribly if I had him come out here?

What, we're not dressed properly? No, we would just prefer to avoid an incident.

All right, go ahead. Thank you.

Nice place, huh? It's gorgeous. What do you figure - 70 bucks for lunch, if you get the house wine?

The house wine costs 70 bucks!

He's not bad-looking. Mmm...if you like that type.

Hello. Maurice tells me you wanted to see me. Yes. We have information that a car registered in your name

was in an accident. We wondered if you'd come to the precinct, answer a few questions.

Surely it can wait till after lunch? We're on OUR lunch hour now, sir! Certainly. ..Maurice?

Be so kind as to tell Miss Brandenmeyer to order dessert. I'll be back shortly.

I want to splash water on my hands. I'll be right with you. Of course.

Oh, no, thanks - we'll wait here.

He looks a like young Omar Sharif. He's got crooked teeth. You know, Christine, you're very critical.

That's your trouble with men - you want them all to be perfect. No! I just have a thing about teeth.

When do we tell him the whole story? In the car.

You think he's onto us? Maybe. What's he going to do?! There's only one door to the men's room.

Window. Window! Have you got a window in the men's room? Wait - you can't go in there!

How could you?! There was a window in the bathroom. No kidding(!) You don't have windows in your bathroom?

I got a window in MY bathroom! What did you expect us to do - go in there with him(?) Yeah!

A suspect has to go to the can, YOU go to the can. We'll get him, sir. You'd better! Now, get out of here!

Wait a minute. I, uh... I didn't mean to yell. It's just...

You blow a collar like this, it makes us all look bad. Yes, sir. You know what I mean?

So, uh...you go into the shower with him next time, if you have to. ..Right?

Right, sir.

He didn't mean to yell. Could have fooled me!

What happened in there? Nothing, Petrie. Absolutely nothing. It was a very loud nothing!

LaGuardia, did you ever go into a ladies' room to make a collar? All the time. Years ago, I worked Vice,

and the hookers used to run into the john at Penn Station. And you'd FLUSH them out! Come on. I'm sorry.

We used to go in there like marines, and, I tell you, they'd come at us with everything! Hatpins, umbrellas,

whatever they had. That was before the Miranda decision. Ah. You didn't have to read 'em their rights.

I remember one day in Queens...

Oh, how do they drink this stuff?! It's a ritual of politeness.

Oh, how do they drink this stuff?! It's a ritual of politeness.

Yeah, well, skipping out the bathroom window wasn't too polite. So this time, we put cuffs on him.

We are very pleased to receive you once more. Mr Jamal, I'm afraid this time will not be so pleasant.

We have a warrant for the arrest of Hassan bin Moqtadi. Arrest? He's the primary suspect

in an assault and endangerment. I don't understand! Mr Moqtadi's car was seen leaving an accident site,

where an elderly man was very badly injured. I see! Well, I shall discuss the matter with him now.

Mr Jamal, you don't understand. We are here to arrest him. That's out of the question! Look,

we want to do this without a scene. Mr Moqtadi is not a registered diplomat and has no immunity.

Yes, but he is a citizen of Zamir, and you are on territory belonging to Zamir! We're on 1st and 52nd.

The diplomatic status accredited by your State Department provides for extra territorial sovereignty.

You have no jurisdiction in here. And Sol Klein is in hospital, in a bad way, because of Mr Moqtadi!

Most regrettable. Many of us do not approve of the manner in which Mr Moqtadi comports himself. However,

you Americans should be sensitive to the principle of inviolability of diplomatic legations.

May I remind you of your country's reaction when YOUR embassy was violated in Tehran? Just a minute!

If you care to pursue the matter, I suggest you proceed through the usual diplomatic channels. Good day.

I'm not going to put any uniforms out there. The way to nail him is to get him to make a run for the airport.

So he could stay there forever? That's the law. What about tear gas?

Forget tear gas, Isbecki. Why don't we drop a neutron bomb(?) Why are you always so sarcastic?

You bring out the best in me(!) If you had some regular attention from a REAL man... Don't worry about me!

Knock it off! We'll stake this place out around the clock. Four-hour shifts, detectives only.

I hate stakeouts! We'll play gin rummy. You still owe me $1.46. Did you have plans for tonight? No.

Muriel's taking the kids to dinner and a movie. How's it going? Great! Place is spotless, dinner's made.

It's like having full-time help. Think she's applying for the job(?)

Ive got to cancel a date. Who's the guy? Nobody special. Jack Brydell. Very successful corporate lawyer,

with a ski chalet in Vermont, season tickets to the Lincoln Centre and eyes like Paul Newman!

He's not married, gay, or going through a mid-life crisis! ..Jack Brydell, please.

Chris Cagney. Yes, I'll hold. He sounds wonderful, Chris. I'm sorry you had to cancel.

Where was he taking you? This northern Italian place on 56th. They make veal you would kill for.

And then...who knows?

How's his teeth? Perfect.

Hello, Jack?

TV: 'Dallas, Los Angeles, Chicago and Baltimore.

'Among the boroughs, Brooklyn had the largest number of homicides...' Harv, I'm bored with this show.

Can I ask you a serious question? Sure.

What do you think of love in the afternoon?

You'd rather watch a soap? No, dear. Us. Muriel's got the kids, we got the house,

I don't have to be on stakeout for three hours, 26 minutes. And I think you're gorgeous...and sexy.

What do you say? I've been thinking about what Christine said about my mom. Oh! That she wants to move in.

You think she's right? Probably. There's no room. She wants to help us buy a house on the Island.

So? So, I think that she comes with the house.

Baby, I couldn't do that to you.

Harv, if you want your mother to move in with us, that's OK with me.

I like Muriel. We can make it work. You want to continue in the bedroom?

We can't! You got a headache(?)

I'm talking about my mother!

Harv, your mother is scared... of being all by herself.

She's feeling old and alone.

That's the point - she ISN'T old! She's 62! Before my father died,

she was a spitfire - on the go, lots of friends. Now she sits alone, or comes here. And makes French toast.

Yeah. What she needs is a life of her own, not just to be somebody's grandmother. Yeah.

So will you talk to her? Me?! Yeah. She's YOUR mother! But you're a woman. You'll know how to tell her.

Harvey... You're good at this stuff. Harvey... I'll make it worth your while.

TV: 'The son of the Minister of the Interior of Zamir...' Harv, look!

'If you're NOT guilty of the crime, why not come forward?

'You must know the political climate in New York. I'd hardly get a fair trial. You want a change of venue?

'Of course! Might I remind you, I am an Arab. The victim of this alleged incident is a Jew.

'New York City has a million people of Jewish descent.' Hypocrite.

That's a smokescreen. Who is he? A criminal! We're going to nail him,

because he's trying to restart the Arab-Israeli War on 52nd Street.

I don't believe it. I do not believe it!

Some undercover stakeout! Yeah.

He did it - he started a war!

How long has this been going on? Since the six o'clock news. They move fast.

You two might as well go. This guy isn't going any place with all these uniforms around. We'll stick around.

Nothin' better happenin', huh?

It's a circus! It's news. Yeah? So was the guy in the Texas Tower!

I hate it! And what about the victims? What about the Sol Kleins? Mary Beth, could you lighten up?!

This could be a long night! Yeah. And he's going to be up there having press conferences and banquets!

Speaking of banquets...

they left us dinner. Here.

You're joking?!

I'm going to take ten minutes.

Hi. Hi, Mom. How was the stakeout?

Did you sit in the car and eat pizza and drink beer like Dirty Harry? We ate pretzels. ..Morning, Muriel.

Morning, dear. Grandma's making pancakes. So I see. I'll do it! I don't mind! No, I'll do breakfast.

Since when? You only do good stuff on weekends. Since now. I thought, since you were up late...

That was very thoughtful, Muriel.

But not too well-done, Mom. Yeah, with plenty of syrup, right? Right.

There's egg-salad sandwiches in the fridge for lunch. I made 'em last night. Oh, Mom! "Oh, Mom!"

They tell me I was hit by a Rolls-Royce.

Not bad, huh?

We know who the driver is, and we have a witness. We just have a tiny legal problem making the arrest.

Listen, I know all about it. It's on the news. If I got hit by a Jew, it would have hurt just as much.

We'll get him, Mr Klein, I promise. I don't understand the big deal. Look at this!

I got flowers from people I don't even know! "Get well, Mr Klein." "You're a hero, Mr Klein!"

What kind of hero? I got run over by a car!

You know what I'd like? What?

First...I'd like everybody to leave me alone.

Second, I'd like someone to tell me

how I'm going to pay the hospital bill.

You don't have medical insurance? You know how much that stuff costs?

No, sir - the department covers us. You should thank God it does.

At these prices, you have to die to get your money's worth! I'm sorry.

Is it true... this guy is worth $20 million?

That's what the papers say. You'd think he could afford a chauffeur!

Cagney, Lacey.

Have a seat. Detective Lacey. Cagney. Inspector.

Inspector, you want to fill them in?

It's about this Moqtadi business. Do you know who he is?

He seems to be a spoiled brat. And a felon. He's also the son of the Minister of the Interior for Zamir.

We know that. You might NOT know that our country is in negotiations for a long-term oil deal.

Now, the talks are very sensitive right now. This doesn't help. He ran over... Moreover...

this department is being made to look very bad in the media, and this is a no-win situation for us.

Excuse me, Inspector. Are you saying we should just drop it?!

I'm saying, Detective, the entire situation might be taken out of our hands very soon.

There are high-level discussions going on in Washington. What kind of discussions? A deal.

We kick it down to a misdemeanour, he says, "I'm sorry, and sayonara." Where does that leave Sol Klein?

He can sue Moqtadi. And chase him to the courts for years?! That is, if he can extradite him from Zamir!

Look, between you and me, I don't like letting a felon cop out to a misdemeanour...

but if you can catch him NOW, he may get an indictment before Washington intervenes.

Trick is getting him out of that mission. Any suggestions? We'll have to keep on watching him.

Inspector? None that'll hold up in front of a judge!

You know what ticks me off, Inspector? In this guy's country, you steal a piece of fruit,

they cut your hand off! He comes here, runs over a man, nearly kills him, and we can't touch him!

Mary Beth, we have to spill Isbecki and Petrie.

Excuse us.

The Rangers blew it. Two goals up, seven minutes left, and they still blew it! Listen to this, Isbecki.

"In an exclusive interview with this reporter, Mr Hassan bin Moqtadi was quoted as saying,

" 'I am a political prisoner, under house arrest, just like Lech Walesa was in Poland.' "

Can you beat this man for nerve? If Leclerc hadn't cross-checked the guy in front of the ref...!

Where were you going to have dinner tonight? This little French place on Columbus Avenue...

with Vicky. Vicky. This a new one? Yeah. I met her in a revolving door outside of Gimbels.

She's a nude dancer on Canal Street.

How do you find them, Victor?

It's like this radar system inside my mind.

I hear this little "blip" on a screen, I turn around, and there they are.

They got everything backwards in those Arab countries. It's great to have four or five wives...

but they keep them covered, with veils and stuff.

It's custom. It's stupid.

Victor! WE have customs, too.

You wouldn't like it if somebody made fun of baseball and apple pie.

Huh! Who'd make fun of baseball?!

It's your discard. ..Stop me if I eat one more pretzel! Stakeouts are so fattening.

What is the knock on? Eight. ..HE'S up there eating caviar. It's like Louis XIV - "Let 'em eat pretzels!"

That was Marie Antoinette.

Huh! Look at that.

What, they ran out of caviar(?)

Sooner or later, he'll get tired of caviar and he'll want a hot dog.

What is the big deal, anyway? What is it - fish eggs? Supposed to be an aphrodisiac. ..Your turn.

No kidding! Mmm. Are you speaking from experience?

No! I just read it...somewhere.

That was fast!

Mary Beth... Mmm?

You ever heard of a delivery man wearing $200 Italian shoes?

Hey, fella! Hold it right there! Hey!

HEY!

MOQTADI! Get that man!

Police! Damn it! Out of the way! Look out here!

Police!

Moqtadi!

Out of the way, people!

Excuse us!

CAR HORNS BEEP

On the bus! He's there! Take that door!

Hey! Hold it! Hey! Shut it down, driver!

Hey! Will you stop the bus?! Open the door! Police! Stop the bus!

Police officers. Everybody off the bus! Step off the bus, please.

All right, move it! Take it nice and slow. Everybody slow down. Let me see you all! One at a time.

Let's go here. Come on, move, lady. Thank you. Easy, easy... All right?

Oops.

A bus?!

A bus. It must be the first time in the history of this department that a suspect made a getaway on a bus!

A New York City bus, in broad daylight, with officers in hot pursuit!

He went out the emergency exit. And last time, he went out the bathroom window. Who is this guy - Houdini(?)

A bus! A bus.

A big, fat, slow bus!

Has he gone? Mm-hm.

I'll take the airport, you take the harbour patrol, then we can both do train stations and bus stations!

PHONE RINGS

14th Squad, Detective Petrie. ..I beg your pardon?

Six feet tall, 180lbs. Dark complexion, carrying a passport from the Republic of Zamir.

No, Detective Cagney is on extension 192. I don't know where - somewhere in the Persian Gulf!

You don't have to know where, in order to pick him up! She'll pick up when she's available. ..Who?

Looks like Omar Sharif...except for the teeth. I'll hold. One minute.

I need some help on a suspect who is fleeing jurisdiction. ..OK, I'll hold. Moqtadi. M-O-Q-T-A-D-I.

Chris... Just a minute. ..Cuff him to something that weighs at least a ton! There's a call for you on 192.

I can't take it. I'm up to my bangs here. Yes, I AM holding! I think you want to talk to him. Who is it?

Hassan bin Moqtadi.

Detective Cagney. YOU hold! Don't be cute, Mr Moqtadi - no, I did NOT enjoy it!

You just added resisting arrest to the charges. Where are you?

Back with the caviar, huh?

I'm not in a position to negotiate. You come in here and we'll see how willing the District Attorney is...

YOU think it over! And the next time you leave your chateau, you'd better be wearing sneakers!

Damn it! Right.

Got your message. Mmm.

Want to see us? Yes, ma'am. Did you hear the one about the guy who talked dirty to his plants?

Arrested for making an obscene FERN call!

That's cute, Sly. You got something for us? Mary Beth, that one was funny. It was funny.

Sorry, but if I never see another pretzel again, it'll be too soon. Don't get all bent out of shape!

This is very humorous(!) You got something for us?! ..What is this?

A putting-me-out-of-business notice.

Some nosy flat-foot says I don't have no business licence. I think some corrections are in order.

DO you...have a licence?

Madam, I am a true believer in free enterprise, but the worry of all this is affecting my memory.

I keep thinking that guy that was driving that car was a midget, bald, maybe even a brother,

but definitely not an Arab. See, the worry is affecting my mind!

We'll do what we can, Sly. Soon as you get your licence. Tomorrow morning. Today. Now!

It's a deal.

Uh, can I ask you ladies something serious?

How do you feel about...knishes?

Is this a joke? Jewish potato pies. I'm thinking about diversifying my business.

I've heard THAT one. MARY BETH CHUCKLES

KEY TURNS IN LOCK

Oh! I thought you'd be asleep by now. Is it late? It's after midnight. Must be a terrific book!

Where's Harv? Asleep.

Mary Beth...could we talk?

Oh, sure!

I know I've been a burden on you and Harvey - I'm in the way...

Not true. I'm leaving tomorrow. They finished painting?

They finished three days ago. The truth is... I didn't want to go back there.

What's wrong, Muriel?

I don't know what to do.

About what?

About my life! I get up in the morning, make breakfast, read the newspaper, straighten up.

Then I look at the clock. It's only 10.30. And I don't know what to do, so I straighten up some more.

You don't know what it's like, not having anybody to... share your life with.

I feel...so useless.

My...partner lives alone. What does SHE do?

Well, she works hard. Sometimes I think that's why she's such a good cop, cos she has no distractions.

Is she happy? Yeah, I think she is. She's honest with herself. She has things that she loves. Like what?

Uh...like Vermont...

and sports cars, sushi... Ugh!

..Mozart, men with perfect teeth...

I envy her. I was married to Charlie for 35 years. It's so hard to change!

But not impossible. I don't even know where to start.

How about a job? Or a course? Or a hobby, or a man?

I couldn't take up with another man! I told you four things, and all you heard was "man"!

That one, I at least have experience with. But at MY age! Muriel, you're not an old lady!

You're bright, attractive. You make perfect French toast. Charlie would not want you sitting around

straightening up all day. You know what I'd do if I were you? What?

If I were you...uh...for openers, I would sleep in tomorrow morning. Let somebody else make breakfast.

Then I'd explore the city - go by Queens College, and the new school, and get their extension catalogue.

I'd go to a news stand, get Manhattan magazine, which has listings of concerts and museums,

and, Muriel, get the classifieds! Maybe someone would pay you to make French toast. You never know.

If that didn't work, I'd buy myself new shoes. That always works for me.

You need to get some sleep! Ah... Go on now.

Mary Beth. Mm-hm?

Thanks.

For what?

Good night, Muriel.

Maybe we SHOULD negotiate with him. Oh! It's a stalemate! He's not coming out, we can't get in.

None of this is helping Sol. The thought of a deal with him makes me sick. It's done all the time!

Dope peddlers cop to possession, hookers cop to loitering... And lawyers get rich and it stinks.

HORN BEEPS

Just... I can't stand him.

Morning. Morning, sir. Morning.

I'm afraid I have some rough news for you.

They offered a deal. 100 bucks and a traffic citation.

I don't believe it. They're calling in the ambassador at 4.00 this afternoon. Does Moqtadi know this?

I'M not even supposed to know. Friend of mine in the State Dept called me this morning. ..Sorry.

Samuels in? Yes, sir.

Mary Beth... What? Moqtadi doesn't know.

So?

I am pleased you decided to reconsider my offer.

Your offer was to negotiate. Let's negotiate. Is the coffee good, Officer Lacey?

Very good. In my country, when you shop for a bride, you are invited to her parents' house for coffee.

It is a ritual of negotiation. When the bride price is presented, your host asks, "Is the coffee good?"

If you like the terms, you answer, "Yes, the coffee is good."

That's fascinating, Mr Moqtadi, but we have not settled on any terms.

I am confident we will. The present situation does not benefit anyone.

We want Sol Klein taken care of. She's very direct...isn't she?

Things move more quickly in New York than Zamir.

If we drop the criminal charges against you, what will you do for Mr Klein? Perhaps a modest sum,

to help him out. How modest? Shall we say...

$1,000?

That wouldn't even TOUCH his hospital bill!

I am doing this out of a desire to avoid an unpleasant situation. I have not been convicted of anything.

You will be! Felony assault, reckless endangerment... And let's not forget resisting arrest!

You're facing a prison sentence.

Then, I will pay his hospital bill.

And what about the time that he lost at work? I'll pay that, too.

And I think Mr Klein will need a month's vacation after he leaves hospital. Shall we say...

$5,000, on top of his expenses?

Oh...

you drive a very hard bargain. Not as hard as the District Attorney!

Oh!

So...Mr Moqtadi, how do you like the coffee?

A little expensive...

but satisfactory.

Good. Let's get going.

I'll write you a cheque.

Oh...that coffee's gone bad again.

Oh...yeah. Surely you don't think I'd write a cheque, drawn on insufficient funds?

Last time we did business together, you ducked out the window.

So all of us should go to the bank and draw a cashier's cheque for Sol Klein. If you insist.

My bank is at 54 and Madison. It's a pleasure.

Mary Beth...I just had another idea. What is that?

I think Mr Moqtadi should make a small donation - in your own name - to a worthy charity,

you know, what with all the trouble he's caused New York. Whatever charity you like, I'll give...$500.

Good!

How about the United Jewish Appeal? Very worthy.

After you, sir.

How did you pull it off? We were charming, sir. He'll be furious when the deal comes from Washington.

Let him sue us. You should have cleared this with me first. We would have, sir,

but you were busy with Inspector Marquette. Lacey, you're full of...

Coffee, sir. Thick, black coffee.

You know what the word "chutzpa" means? I grew up in New York, sir. Get outta here, both of you!

Mary Beth, your mother-in-law is waiting to see you. Oh, thanks.

Listen, we've been chatting. She's a very nice lady! I told you!

Is Harvey's father as nice as she is? He WAS. He died a couple of years ago. Oh. Oh, that's too bad.

Listen, do you think she might be interested in...?

Paul, ask her for her number.

You look gorgeous. I just wanted to come by and say thank you again.

That dress is terrific! You think so? Absolutely.

..I didn't keep you long, did I?

No, I was talking to that nice detective. LaGuardia. Like the airport. Like the mayor! Nice name.

I'd better go. Harvey's waiting in the car. Muriel,

I'm going to the Museum of Modern Art on Monday. You want to come? Sure! It's a date - one o'clock.

That'd be great! I'll see you then. See you.

Bye!

LaGuardia?

Yeah? You like French toast?

Subtitles by BBC Broadcast