Two Grand Cagney and Lacey

No, we've not recovered them...

We've checked the inventory, ma'am.

-Maybe it's chocolates.

-We're not giving up.

Or a letter-bomb?

-Don't rattle it!

-Fellas!

Yes, ma'am? Missing the knob...

Ah-ah!

-From a guy Cagney shot?

-Likely(!)

I've the serial number right here.

I'll let you know.

-Hi, guys.

-How're you doing?

-OK.

Whoa!

They're checking your present out.

-Thanks, guys!

-OK!

-Thanks, guys!

-Too much!

Thanks(!)

Who's it from?

-"Until tonight."

-No name?

-It'll be Steve.

-Who's Steve?

-Steve Hollister, a banker I met skiing.

-Nice!

Yeah, sweet!

Oh! Oh, my God!

What?

-Let's see.

-Look!

-Are they real?

-Look real to me!

-This is ridiculous.

-What's the matter? Not your right size?

-I can't take this!

-No?!

-I hardly know him.

-< Cagney! Lacey!

-Sir?

-You two guys are up next. Jewellery shop hit. Fairbank Towers.

-That swanky place on the Park?

-That's it. So move.

-Yes, sir!

Steve Hollister, is he that rich?

I didn't think so... It's hard to tell in ski clothes.

We'd a gold and emerald piece here. 6,000.

-Ah-ah! Fingerprints!

-I'm sorry.

I don't understand how they got past the sensors and things.

-Mr Meyers, where are your sensors and things?

-Over here. You'd like to see?

-We'll follow you.

-Would you... Oh, sorry...This way.

Everything was fine this morning. No pictures on the video monitors, no alarms...

-What about the time locks?

-Open. But I don't see how. Somebody made them think it was time to open...

There was an acetylene torch, but it wasn't used.

-It's impressive equipment. You're the only one who can operate it?

-Me?! I don't know anything about it.

-Well, who does?

-The management company. I just flip the switches.

-OK. We'll do an inventory here.

-I've been years in retail. I could help.

Thanks, but give us a little time.

-We'll let you know.

-If you need help...

-Don't touch anything!

-How could somebody smart enough to dance through the security, leave the scene like this?

-Yeah.

The DA ought to cite him for littering.

The torch may be traceable. We have a perfect thumbprint for forensics.

A tie-tack was found near the vault.

And a piece of paper with a number on it. Meyers doesn't recognise it.

What do you feel about Meyers?

An inside job? I doubt it. I think he has trouble tying his shoes(!)

-Yeah! So we're done here?

-That's it.

-How is it with Isbecki on vacation?

-Quiet.

-five days alone with Bon-Bon in the Bahamas...some vacation.

-He took a large bottle of Vitamin E with him.

-Will that be enough?

No, ma'am. Not yet.

What do you remember?

You scratched 'Rosebud' on the toaster oven.

Thank you for your clue, Mrs Vallente.

I'll call back if...as soon as I have something, yes...Bye, now.

-Why don't you ask her to stop bugging you?

-We got friendly. I gave her some recipes.

You're such a tough cop!

Your attention! I've an announcement.

The Fairbanks Tower case is solved!

Solved?! Who did it?

-We did it!

-Pardon, sir?

We knocked over the Fairbanks Tower. WE did! The entire 14th Squad!

According to the forensics report, just delivered to me right now,

we did it. Every bit of evidence can be traced to this Squad.

For example, the acetylene torch, traced by purchase order, delivered to one MB Lacey.

The number on the piece of paper is a payroll number of the NYPD

belonging to Ronald Coleman.

The desk guard at the Fairbanks Tower has a signature in the book he can't account for.

The name is Marcus Petrie.

The thumbprint they ran through the computer. Guess what?

It didn't turn up a known felon.

It turned up Victor Isbecki, Detective 3rd Grade, the 14th Squad.

-Isbecki had an alibi. He's away.

-Oh, no.

You're the only one NOT implicated.

-Is that the inventory, sir?

-Yes.

Well, could I see it please?

-What about the tie-tack?

-It's mine!

It was given me at my 10-year party. I was there.

-I have something.

-What?

It was a present.

Where from? Came by messenger.

-Sir?

-What?

-There must be... some kind of an explanation, sir.

-Somebody is trying to make us look monkeys!

-Albert Grand.

-What?

-Who else would've thought this whole thing up?

Albert Grand?

It's got to be! Who else would have had the unmitigated style to do it?!

Well, go find out. All of you. NOW!

He's back!

-I'll hold. Where's the file?

-Here.

-While you're on hold...this yours?

-My appointment book! Where...?

Marcus, follow-up on the aliases.

I'm sorry...What? OK. Now go. On the 23rd?

-Thank you.

-So?

-Interpol has a positive sighting of Grand... in Egypt!

-That rules him out.

-Old info?

He burgled a Cairo hotel last night.

Still active, then.

No...

Albert Grand could fix it.

-10-1 it's him.

-20-1, maybe.

-Call it a night?

-I got to get out.

Have a nice time tonight.

Wait till I tell Hollister what a big spender I thought he was!

Albert Grand is the absolute last of the great ones. World-class!

I've a feeling in my guts, he's here.

-I can see that!

-Ha!

His audacity! To implicate the detectives getting the case!

-Christine?

-Huh? Yes?

-Uh. Look. This is our first date.

-Uh-huh.

When I was thinking about how this evening was going to turn out,

I was imagining talking to each other about our families, about movies...

You do talk about those things, too?

Yes! Sorry, Steven.

As of this moment, I'm off-duty!

Great!

-Steven? Excuse me a moment?

-Of course.

I have to go arrest somebody.

Christine, my dear. How splendid to see you again.

-Hello, Mr Grand.

-Albert, please.

-What's going on?

-Glass of champagne?

-No, thanks.

-But you're not on duty.

How did you know I'd be here? My appointment book!

-You took it.

-Won't you sit down?

Just for a moment.

I think you'll find this vintage...

-rather amusing.

-Thank you.

You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent...

-Silence is fundamentally boring.

-Did you hear what I said?

-I did.

I still hear well. But I am a bit confused. Whatever would you arrest me for?

The Dunhill Hotel job for openers.

I came this close to getting you. You said so yourself.

-I'm taking you in for it now!

-Really?!

You have new evidence in the case?

All right. I'm going to take you in for questioning about the Fairbank Towers job last night.

The evidence in that case would seem to lead in other directions.

-How do you know that?

-Christine!

You wouldn't put a man my age through such an inconvenience,

without having more than a grudge?

I'm sorry. I'm taking you downtown just the same. You may have handcuffs...or not.

Perhaps I missed something. What was the specific charge again?

There's some people who'd like to see you about Cairo.

Very good, my dear. First class!

Shall we?!

-Cagney! >

-Lieutenant!

-Evening, Mitchell.

-Albert.

I was summoned! Did she arrest you?

-We dispensed with the formalities.

-This is Mr Grand's attorney. >

How did he get here?

-Detective? Steve Hollister.

-My date.

-Albert, sign this.

-Wait!

Wait a minute!

Lieutenant!

If there's nothing further... You're free to go.

WAIT!

I have questions I'd like to ask.

-No, you haven't.

-Yes, I have.

There's an Interpol APB out on him.

Cagney. Mr Grand's passport.

The Customs stamp clarifies

he entered this country before the Cairo affair.

I'm so sorry.

Let me take you out for that champagne...and your friend.

-No, thank you.

-Another time.

Certainly.

Au revoir. Goodbye, lieutenant.

Hollister, leave us alone a second, will you?

-Cagney.

-Huh?

-I want this guy.

-Uh-huh.

He is not going to make monkeys of us.

-He is not walking out of here with full pockets, do you hear me?

-Yes.

-Don't stand around. Follow him.

-Yes, sir.

-Interesting date!

-Steven, I'm sorry!

-I'm following him. Can you get a cab?

-Let me come, too!

-You can't come on a tail! It's...

I know you might want to follow me.

The hour is so late, I thought I'd save you the bother.

The Fairbanks Tower, suite 34A.

And good night.

That guy's some piece of work.

WHISTLES

-GRAND'S VOICE:

-I hope you enjoy the wine.

Please keep the pin. The statute of limitations ran out years ago.

-Here's another.

-A known associate?

-He was the Saucon Valley driver.

-I'll list him.

-We disturbing you?(!)

-I'm rereading his book.

-You think you'll trip him up by reading it?

-Leg-work won't catch him. We tried it.

-I've run down five of the fences he's used in the past.

-Good news?

Three in jail, one abroad and one's got religion.

Maybe we should try a prayer.

Miss Le Chocolate is looking for Isbecki.

Is there something wrong, Miss?

I've been trying to reach Victor since Monday, and there's no answer. He's not in his apartment.

Oh.

I'm awfully worried. Did...er, something happen to him?

Victor? To Victor?

You know, was he wounded in action?

-Is there something I should know?

-Miss Le Chocolate, please sit down.

-Victor is...

-Working undercover.

Yeah.

-You mean he's OK?

-It's sensitive.

We don't even know where he is.

-It's top secret.

-Oh!

Thank God!

I'm sorry. I just...uh...

Victor being a cop and all... you get worried.

Of course.

As soon as he's finished his assignment, he'll be in touch.

Thank you.

-Take it slow.

-Thank you very much.

-How could you lie like that?

-What are partners for?

I'll kill him.

-Why's Isbecki told everyone he's in the Bahamas with her?

-No idea.

What do you do with Grand's brooch?

Part of the Monte Carlo Casino job in '55. It's being returned.

-Why doesn't he just buy you something?

-Because he's Grand!

-We got another jewellery job.

-Where?

-Van De Voors Company.

-Diamond mines?

-Yeah.

SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT: Can you keep this out of the papers?

The two officers outside were not... helpful.

-It'd be 'helpful' if we find out who did it. Right?

-Yes, of course.

-They really messed up your place, Mr Hermann.

-Yes, out here.

This is a list of the missing items.

Fortunately, the only good piece was in my private safe.

We'll see the safe, if you don't mind.

-Even if you do mind(!)

-Of course. This way.

You see?

The tiara's worth 350,000 American. I only showed it to a buyer.

-Security telephone, right?

-Yes.

-It's a handy place for it.

-This morning the safe had not been tampered with?

-Correct.

-All the damage and trashing was outside?

-Yes.

-Mary Beth?

-What?

"Diamonds Are Forever" Ian Fleming. New York Public Library.

-Does this belong to you?

-Certainly not.

Albert Grand left it.

The cameras didn't record. >

Undercarpet sensors didn't register.

All that was taken was display stuff.

Why take that trouble and not take the tiara?

Cagney thinks it's a calling card. Like the book.

-We know he's here already!

-I know.

The library card address is phoney.

-The name was Arsene Lupin.

-Albert Grand!

Did I miss something?

Gentleman burglar, super sleuth. Creation of writer, Maurice Leblanc.

Some sense of humour(!)

Where's the list of his movements?

Under your right hand.

We know he IS staying at the Fairbanks Tower.

He'd a haircut, went to Tiffany's.

Forget that.

-Then a doctor's.

-Yes?

-Internal one.

-You talked to him?

-I tried.

He quoted doctor-patient confidentiality.

-Maybe it was just a regular check.

-OK.

Then he goes to Bloomingdale's.

-Uh-oh.

-That's right! That's where we lost him.

Until he returns to Fairbanks Towers in a horse-drawn hansom cab!

Could've been anywhere.

-Know what I think?

-Sir?

I'm tired of this!

We've a watch on him, when HE wants.

Otherwise, he goes to Bloomingdale's and gives us the slip...like that!

-This guy's laughing at us! I'm going to call and ask for more men.

-NO!

-It wouldn't be any help.

-NO?!

-Go out and find something that does help.

-Yes, sir.

STRING QUARTET PLAYS

My dear Christine. I'm so glad you could come.

A kind invitation...and so clever. 20:00 hours. 8 Strokes Of The Clock. Due date.

-I knew you could put it together, my girl. Champagne?

-Of course, thanks.

Hello.

-I didn't dress for the occasion(!)

-That's very smart...nice colours.

-They could play something else?

-No, it's lovely.

It's Beethoven. The Razumovsky.

Opus 59, Number 1. The Adagio.

I must confess, I'm disappointed.

I hear you've sent the pin back.

-I hope it wasn't because you didn't like it.

-No. On the contrary.

I had to return it. It was stolen.

Such a long time ago. And the insurance company paid up.

The way of the world. Nobody was hurt.

-The insurance company?

-That's their job.

You think I see you as Robin Hood.

But he stole from the rich and gave to the poor.

-You steal from everybody and keep it.

-I do NOT.

I have standards.

That was you in Cairo, wasn't it?

You're so good at police business. The best I've ever come across.

I think...if you had chosen

my way of life, you would have done rather well.

Why are you doing this?

If you're up to something, which you obviously are, why alert us like this?

Why don't you just strike and disappear without a trace?

I suppose it's not unlike the concept of Knight's Odds in chess.

-I'm not a chess player.

-You are! One of the best I've ever played.

Oh, I brought this back.

-You won't want an overdue library book on your record.

-Arsene Lupin.

-I bought your book, too.

-Ah.

-I thought you might sign it for me.

-I'd be delighted!

-I enjoyed it very much.

-It's a little out of date.

Although Chapter 11 holds up rather well, I believe.

Thank you for the inscription.

-And you're under arrest.

-Oh, dear! I agree the writing is atrocious, but I didn't think it was criminal.

For breaking and entering. These aren't business hours.

-You rented the Public Library?

-Only one room!

-I've never heard of that before.

-A mere trifle. Easily arranged.

I'd like to give you something... something you felt you could keep.

Why not just buy me something?!

What a quaint idea!

-Morning.

-Lacey, you've a visitor.

-It's not Mrs Vallente about her toaster oven, is it?

-It's worse.

Thanks(!)

He's not undercover, is he?

He calls you the straight-shooter here.

I mean, you would never lie.

They made up the story, didn't they?

I don't know where he is. But there'll be a good reason that he didn't tell you.

-Is it someone he works with?

-Huh?

-The blonde?

Believe me, there's nothing between Victor Isbecki and my partner.

-I hate him!

-Sure!

-Big, dumb...Polish cop!

-Sure, he is.

-Ronald!

-Don't get cute. What is it?

-You're a gambler, right?

-So what?

What does it mean to give Knight's Odds in chess?

It's a handicap.

-One player starts with one Knight less.

-Why?

A master player might offer it if he were playing a lesser player.

-A LESSER player?!!

-Morning, Christine.

-What are you talking about?

-He offered ME Knight's Odds!

He's toying with me.

-Knight's Odds? Who?

-Albert Grand.

He hired the Public Library

-and a string quartet, and lured me there.

-When?

-Last night.

-Last night?!

-All very civilised. Champagne, caviar and Beethoven.

And he did it all just to give me KNIGHT'S ODDS!!

You met Grand last night in the Library?!

Right. And I've been up all night reading his damn book again.

He let something drop about Chapter 11.

-I thought I could find it. Knights Odds! ME!

-You're not making sense.

-Sit down and take a deep breath.

-I don't want to breathe!

In and out...Slow.

BREATHES DEEPLY

OK. Start again.

Chapter 11 talks about magic tricks where the eye is sent over here,

when the trick's happening there.

Or the trick's already happened.

-You mean the rabbit's in the hat?

-Right!

Harvey had an uncle that did magic tricks.

He'd find quarters in your ears!

-It wasn't Doug Henning.

-Mary Beth!

-What?

-You gave me an idea. Come on!

-Come ON!

-I'm coming.

-Lieutenant?

-Morning, Petrie.

These gizmos are really something.

A minute 40 and you get hot waffles and sausages!

We had one last Xmas. Helps with Lauren.

Lieutenant, I'm worried about Isbecki.

Isn't he in the Bahamas with the stripper?

So he told us, but she's showed up looking for him.

-You think he's something new going?!

-I don't know.

His personal life's his own affair.

-I don't think he's in the Bahamas. I think he's in hospital.

-Hospital?

-I found this in his in-box.

-Insurance payment for hospital care.

-Did he tell you about a medical problem?

-I tried calling his mother,

but I didn't want to worry her.

-Why would he make up a story about the Bahamas?

-I've no idea.

-You know which hospital?

-No, I'd like to run a check.

-You better do that. Keep me briefed.

-Thank you, sir.

Wait, please.

Uh-huh. Hold that one moment. Thank you.

-This is really sensitive.

-I'm sure it is.

-I wish you would not fiddle with it.

-Mr Hermann, just give us a second.

-Hello!

-What is that?

An electronic eavesdropping device.

-My God, the shipment.

-What shipment?

I discussed the arrangements for the couriers of today's shipment of raw diamonds on that phone.

It's too late to change them. It's due in today.

-How much?

-Six and one half million. But they are raw diamonds, you see.

-Well...?

-See what, sir?

Finished gems...have identifying traits, uh...flaws, uh...

characteristics like...fingerprints. But...rough diamonds...

That is why the secrecy, the couriers. They're untraceable!

-When's it due in?

-4:30.

-Where?

Kennedy, Gate 36. Trans Allied Air.

-Let's go.

-Try not to worry, sir.

I'm one step ahead. I'm gonna get him!

-You're talking about a 6,500,000 gamble.

-I can nail him.

-He as much as said so.

-Grand?

-Told you what?

-He said he'd give me a gift I couldn't prove was stolen.

Like, uh...uncut diamonds.

It's a hell of a chance you want to take.

I know. I thought you could get Detective Inspector Knelman

to get the Van De Voors people to agree.

Could we have Leibowitz and Cross in case we have to front tail him?

-Lacey, would you mind? I want to talk to Cagney alone.

-Certainly.

-Have you got your head screwed on?

-I've very strong feelings on this.

-Remember what he did last time?

-Yes, sir.

-I don't want a repeat.

-It's different now.

-Different? This man's the best, Cagney. He's a master!

-I know that.

But this time he's given me a leg up. I know I can nail him.

And I'm asking you to give me a shot at it.

You'll be behind that two-way mirror.

You can use walkie-talkies in there.

-What's the signal?

-Whoever gets the courier will check the flash on his cap.

-Flash?

-The insignia.

-I got you.

-This way. Flight's on its approach.

-Thanks.

Room 1409? Thank you. Would you connect me, please?

Victor? Oh, boy.

Victor?

Vic...Victor!

Victor, don't try disguising your voice. I know it's you. Yes.

Victor, what are you doing in the hospital?

Yeah. Victor!

Yes, I DO want to know!

Listen. I just spent hours trying to track you down, Victor!

Yes! Hang on a second.

-Sergeant?

-It's OK.

The insurance. Yeah, the insurance form. Uh-huh.

Look, Bon-Bon was here yesterday. I told her you were undercover.

Well...uh...you'll think of something.

Vic...Victor. Would you please tell me why you're in the hospital?

No, I'm not going to laugh, Victor. Vic...Victor, I WON'T laugh!

I...I promise.

Oh, you're kidding.

Victor, why did you have to go through this whole charade

just because of a simple operation?

Oh, no... That's nonsense, Vic. Real men DO have haemorrhoids.

-Leibowitz, you in position?

-10-4.

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: Flight number 126 is now arriving at Gate 36.

-There he is.

-OK. We've our courier.

Male Caucasian. Six four. Beard, glasses, brown flight bag. Got him?

Got him.

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: Paging Dr Pinley.

Two couriers? We'll follow them both.

OK, we have a second courier. Uh...you stay on the tall guy.

-A woman in slicker and scarf.

-10-4.

-You follow the fat one. Leibowitz the girl, and Cross the tall guy.

-What about you?

-I just realised the rabbit's been in the hat all along.

-What?

-It's over before it began!

-Huh?

Just follow him.

Cross, take the tall guy.

Leibowitz, the girl. I'm on a fat man with a hat.

GRAND COUGHS

I should never have taken my Knights off the board for you!

Why, Albert? Why all those calling cards and the Knight's Odds?

Why this whole game?

I decided to have some fun.

And what could be more fun than matching wits with the best...

the best detective I've ever known!

It's an old man's... foolish conceit.

You used the security phone to change the flight the diamonds came on.

My Afrikaans is a...a trifle rusty. But it suffices.

The doctor you visited was just an internist.

Also one of the country's finest thoracic men. A delaying action.

-At best.

-You knew all along.

I knew I would not live long enough to face jail.

It gave me a certain freedom.

-The valises?

-A gesture. The last move of the King before Checkmate.

I haven't even got enough strength to get dressed.

I want to say something to you I've never said to anyone before.

I confess.

-This is ridiculous. You're a thief.

-Think of me as an artist...

-I do!

And an admirer.

I'm so GLAD that I've known you.

You won't keep these, now I've confessed.

Please...to remember me by.

Please.

It's beautiful, Albert.

-But I BOUGHT it!

-You bought it?!!