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Do you ever hear from your Jamie?
My Jamie? He's not my Jamie.
He's my sicko cousin who deserves everything he gets.
Vix, come back!
Argh. My foot's stuck!
Victoria Clarkson. Got any news?
-We just lost her.
-Karl, just leave it, eh?
-Yeah, calm down.
-Don't tell me what to do!
-What if he does know where to get a gun?
-It's not your problem.
When those kids were getting murdered I did nothing. If I do nothing again,
what kind of a man does that make me?
He's going to do something stupid. I need to find him.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
'This is Karl, I'm busy right now, leave a message.'
Karl, it's...it's me again.
Look, can you, um, can you please just give me a call when you get this message, mate?
So you are still alive, Mr Collier.
I was about to call the Missing Persons hotline.
Fell asleep. Parked up outside Karl's old man's gaff.
Your loss. You missed a cracking shepherd's pie.
He's not your responsibility, Jeff.
Whose is he, then? Eh? You see a queue forming?
I don't get it with you.
You always used to see the good in people, just like...
Like Polly, you mean? And look what happened to her.
Mum...time to wake up.
Taxi's coming at nine.
I've ironed everything... thought the navy court shoes would go best with your dress.
What are you doing in here?
I'm going to lose you, too.
I'm not leaving college. I've got another year yet!
But this is the beginning.
-You're growing up.
-Then it'll be boyfriends...
A new life...
Away from us.
You need to get ready.
I don't think I can do this...
The taxi's booked.
It's all arranged.
No. I'll stay here.
And you can take some photographs and we'll look at them later.
I'll make some cakes.
Mum, you never make cakes.
I need you to do this one thing.
All the other parents will be there. I want you there.
You look gorgeous.
You haven't told her yet?
Nat, today you said. You promised me...
-She's not ready...
-You've got to stick up for yourself.
-For me. Tell her the truth.
-I will. But not today. I don't want to...
What? What? Disappoint her?
-Of course not...
-You know what I think?
You're ashamed. Deep down.
-A boy like me is never going to be good enough for her precious baby girl.
-You know it's not like that.
Well, then prove it. Tell her.
Today. Or we're finished.
-Is it that obvious?
What's with the new suit?
-Got a meeting. Should be fully reinstated by lunchtime.
-That's great, Ruth.
Well, you look, er...
amazing... by the way.
Listen... it's, er, still early days so...
Don't be too hard on yourself if they say no.
You look as bad as I feel.
Oi! You don't look too hot either. Never again, all right?
Hey-hey! Nothing wrong with me.
Are you serious? After all them whisky chasers?
Constitution of an ox, mate.
You do realise he's over an hour late?
Well, he's here now, isn't he?
-Got as much right as anyone.
How'd you figure that, psycho boy, huh?
There'll be parents out there picking up awards for their kids...
kids that aren't here any more...
-Thanks to you and your psycho cousin.
-Knew nothing about it.
Yeah? Why'd they leave you out then?
Too stupid? Or too scared to pull the trigger...
I'll take that as a yes.
You sick freak.
I don't know how you sleep at night, mate.
JEFF: 'Karl, I know you're upset, but please don't do anything you'll regret. Nothing's that bad.'
Shall we go and get a brew while the coast's clear?
They've got sausage rolls on special. My treat!
I can't do it, Dix...
-Polly wouldn't have...
Give up on him.
-There's one place I haven't tried.
-You're dumping me? Mid-shift?
-I don't think so, matey.
Sack me if you like. Or you could just arrange cover.
-I can't have another tragedy on my conscience.
She's gone, Jeff.
Letting Karl mess with your head, it isn't going to bring her back!
I thought I saw Jeff earlier.
Yep, you did. But he's done a disappearing act.
Leaving muggins to pick up the pieces.
OK, love, can you just make him comfortable? I won't be a sec.
Now, I love Jeff to bits. You know that.
But since Polly died all he cares about is trying to make things better.
-And he can't.
-He's probably just trying to make sense of it.
Yeah, but he's making not making sense of anything.
-D'you remember Polly's daft book of quotations?
He's constantly checking it, like he's on some kind of direct line.
People grieve in different ways...
Right, there's this screwed up kid.
He's one of Polly's waifs and strays.
-She had a few of those.
-Yes, well, Jeff's got it into his head that
he's his responsibility now, cos that's what Polly would've wanted.
Dix, he didn't save her and it's his way of dealing with the guilt.
You've just got to be patient.
-You're looking well, Ruth.
-How are you feeling?
-And the medication?
-Still happy with that?
-No side effects?
And being back at work in such a stressful environment?
Not a problem. It feels like coming home.
Onto our next award for special achievement,
which goes to Zac Turner.
Right. Problem drinker, five letters beginning with L...
That's a bit harsh.
Anyway it's four, sorry.
Someone who gets hammered on a regular basis and flirts with everyone in sight.
I'm truly honoured to accept this award...
Jacob Maynard was my best friend.
We all know Jake would've done something really special with his life,
so for his family to sponsor this achievement award is a fitting tribute. But once again...
this just brings home to us all the cruelty of his passing.
The pointless waste of all that talent.
Thanks, mate. I will never forget you.
The next category is for craftsmanship...
-And the award...
..for best individual piece of work goes to...
Karl? Karl Fontayne?
Look, whatever you're doing, mate, just stop it now.
I thought actions spoke louder than words?
Look, if Vix has said something to you, can we just talk about it, please?
And we move on now to our final award, for Student of the Year 2011.
Nicked this key off the caretaker, day before the shootings.
Came up here.
Thought I'd rob as much as I could, you know? Make a few quid.
Then Jamie's little plan kicked off...
And it just, all felt wrong, you know?
Having all of this.
Now I can't even remember where anything goes.
Just wanted to make things right.
And now you have.
And that's brilliant, mate...
But you thought something else... didn't ya?
A few poxy mobiles ain't going to make any difference, is it?
There you go.
You OK there, mate?
-Can I get some help here, please!
-Let's get him on his side.
All right, mate, all right.
-All right, nice and easy...
-I've got you.
-Pillows or towels...
-quick as you can.
It's OK, mate... it's OK. Oh, no, no, no!
-Ah mate, thank you for that(!) Thank you.
-Let's get him into resus.
Don't bother. I know him.
And he's going straight home now, aren't you, Stuart?
-You've had your fun.
-Linda! Excuse me!
-Come on. Wakey, wakey!
If he'd really had a seizure he'd be post-ictal by now...
his hand would've dropped directly on his face. Hard.
But that would hurt.
And you don't want real pain, do you, Stuart?
It's all about the performance.
Batman returns... but no Robin.
Well, he was at the College,
-then he disappeared...
-He's playing you Jeff, like I said, he is...
Yeah, would you just let me finish?
I just, I convinced myself that Karl had a gun, that he was going to finish what his cousin had started...
Well, that wouldn't be too much of a leap, would it?
Come on! Just cos they're related you can't tar them with the same brush.
No, hang on a minute. You were the one that thought the worst.
Yeah, I know... and I was wrong, I shouldn't have doubted him.
He says he was just putting stuff back in the lockers he'd nicked the night before the shootings.
So he's turned a corner. Now you can walk away.
-Blood made it look worse than it is.
-Where's my bag?
-There it is...
So, you can, er, be on your way now, eh?
I feel dizzy...
-I can't see straight.
-OK, sit back down...
OK, nice try. But listen, we've got genuinely sick people who need treatment today, yeah?
Stuart. Stuart, I need you to be honest with me.
-My head, it hurts.
-OK, lie back.
All right, up you get, man.
I've seen it all before...
Jay. A word, please.
How dare you speak to a patient like that?
Even if the seizure wasn't genuine, the knock to the head was.
Whoa, Tess, he's a nut job. He's winding us up.
He needs full neuro assessment and obs.
-Well, Linda said we should...
-She's on her break and I'm telling you to start him on half-hourly neuro obs.
Fine. She won't like it, though.
I don't like how lax this department is becoming. And I was really disappointed in you this morning.
-Waltzing in late without so much as an apology to anyone. And...
-being over familiar with senior nursing staff.
-Hang on a minute...
No. I won't "hang on".
Professionalism at all times is key to being a good nurse.
It doesn't matter how tired or hungover you are.
I taught you that much.
OK, tell Sister Andrews that.
She was the one who was pouring drinks down my throat all night.
Natalie's a very gifted girl.
She could upgrade to a degree...
We couldn't possibly afford the fees, I'm on my own.
And I'm not sure she's that academically driven.
Her sister Laura, she was the really bright one.
I didn't know you had a sister, Natalie.
She died when I was 12...
-Oh, I'm so sorry...
It must've been very difficult for you. I had no idea.
Want to come for a drink? We've got vodka!
Come on then.
I need to examine your vision, Mr Wilder. Can you keep still, please?
Right. Your neurological exam is completely normal.
It's nothing focal. Since you're still complaining of blurred vision, I'd like to run some more tests...
to rule out any complications as a result of the head injury.
-You're keeping me in?
I'll need a full blood count, Us & Es, LFTs, calcium, magnesium and a coag... And call radiology.
He'll need a head CT...
Erm, excuse me, Dr Keogh, but that man's a known hospital hopper.
I asked Sister Bateman to send him home.
If his CT's clear then he can go to CDU for further neuro obs while he waits for his blood results.
But I know him from St James's. I've seen him do chest pains,
renal colic, temporary blindness. He's a professional faker.
Did you know regular alcohol abuse can result in seriously impaired judgement?
Will this take much longer?
It's just that I'm supposed to be working today and they're pretty busy down there.
Just need to go over a couple of things. You said earlier
there were no issues regarding your professional competence
-since returning to work.
But I understand that there was one problem...
confusing patient's X-rays?
Oh, um, well, yeah.
I mean, that was just a... blip. Sorry.
I, er, I should've mentioned that.
But the fact remains... you would have performed a needless, dangerous procedure
on the wrong patient had the supervising consultant Dr Trueman
not been there to point out your error?
Yeah, I mean that was early on, and I have learned from the experience.
I mean, it will never happen again.
-CT clear, was it?
-This is much nicer than the one at St James's.
-Well, enjoy it.
You won't be here long.
Right, er, I'll be off then.
-Show me where the toilets are, please?
-Are you sure you can manage?
Thought you might need a catheter. I'd be happy to oblige.
-No. I'll be fine.
Do you want a drink?
You all right?
You've had too much.
-What's going on here?
Open the door! Natalie! Open the door!
Natalie! Open the door!
You're a nice nurse. Caring. Not like that other one.
I take people as I find them.
I've known a lot of nurses. And doctors.
My mum. Can't remember a time when she wasn't ill.
Leukaemia. She was in and out of hospital for years.
You didn't have any other family?
She'd be sick in bed for days after chemo.
Must've been lonely for you.
Not in hospital.
Everyone knew me. Knew my name.
I loved it.
-Princess Di came once, you know?
-Shook Mum's hand.
Gave me a little bear with a Beefeater's Costume. I'll show you.
Where's my bag?
OK, let's see.
Razor blades - a bloody tongue makes the fit so much more realistic.
bottle of water to aid the incontinence.
A cute little bear and what else have you got hidden in here?
Nothing! Give it back!
Your bloods are all clear, by the way.
So Dr Keogh will be along shortly to discharge you.
Maybe you'll listen to me next time.
-Get your hands off her!
-What's going on?
-Get off, all right?
-What's... what's happening?
-You fell... It's OK now.
-Just try and stay calm, yeah?
-I can't... feel it...
Look, can you try and lift your left arm for me? No? It's all right,
it's all right, it's all right...
What about smiling, can you try and smile for me?
She's been drinking...
-I'm not... drunk.
-But I saw you...
-Call an ambulance..
-Just do it, you stupid cow!
She just needs to sober up. She's not used to alcohol.
Jeff? Yeah, we've got a girl here, she's in the theatre. She's really sick.
I think she's having some sort of stroke.
Whoa! Hang on a minute, everyone. A moment's silence, please...
for Dr Ruth Winters.
Now fully reinstated and back where she belongs, bossing us
all about and making our life absolute hell. Congratulations, Ruth.
Come on, Stuart. Time to go.
You've had more than your money's worth.
I don't want you.
I want the other nurse.
I'm ill. I need proper attention.
-I'm caring when people need caring for!
-And for his next trick he's downed a bottle of Ipecac.
Well, what did you expect? It does what it says on the bottle!
-I can't breathe.
-I think this is serious, Linda.
I can't swallow. My shoulder.
He might have ruptured his oesophagus.
OK, it's Natalie Bilson, 18. Possible TIA or stroke.
Complaining of severe headaches, blurred vision and then she blacked out.
Er, when she came round, she had numbness down the left side and slurred speech.
GCS is 15 and her BP's up as well now.
-OK, bed two then.
Dr Keogh. Stuart Wilder in CDU seems to have a bit of a setback.
Right. Dr Winters, Can you take this one, please? Possible CBA.
-Now? You, yes.
-Yeah. Of course, erm...
And over, one, two, three...
OK, hi there, er...
-Er. I'm Dr Winters.
I'll be treating you today. She'll need an urgent scan and an ECG.
She's only 18. This doesn't make sense.
-Let's give her 300mg of aspirin and then we'll get the monitoring on.
-But I'm much better.
OK, but we still need to take a proper look. OK?
Doesn't he know when he's not wanted?
Oh, come on, Dixie, give the lad some credit.
He just saved that girl some serious damage.
So he's a hero now?
Look, I need five minutes, all right?
You've got work to do. ..Holby City to control...
You know what you said earlier? About being all right to sack you?
It could be a Mallory-Weiss tear. Or even Boerhaave's disease, both of which may require surgery.
Surgery? No. I don't want that.
You may have no choice. A CT scan both of abdo and chest should establish what we're looking for.
Tess, can you call radiology? Tell them it's urgent.
-I could do that.
-I think it's best if Tess handles this.
The good news is, if it is Boerhaave's we've caught it early.
Survival is contingent largely on early recognition.
I'll be fine. I just need rest. I was sick, that's all.
I'll call surgery. See how quickly they can come and assess you.
How are you feeling now, Natalie?
A bit tired.
Sorry, Dr Winters, this is Zac. Said he's a friend.
You were at the College.
-It's very kind of you to come, but I don't...
-I'd like him to stay...
Any numbness at all?
And your speech has improved. I think you've had a TIA.
I don't understand.
Sorry, a Transient Ischaemic Attack.
It's a bit like a mini stroke and the symptoms usually disappear within 24 hours.
It's normally caused by a small clot temporarily lodging itself in a blood vessel in the brain.
But she's too young... she's healthy!
Well, it is very rare.
But there's usually underlying risk factors so,
well, regular smoking or oral contraceptive pill.
If that's combined with a family history of high blood pressure or thrombosis...
Well, I have hypertension and my mother died from a series of strokes.
But Natalie doesn't smoke...
she isn't sexually active and... she's never even had a boyfriend.
Mrs Bilson. I...
-Maybe it would be better if you left.
-No, but I...
-Thank you for coming.
Listen, mate. Why don't I show you where the coffee machine is, yeah?
The surgeons are on their way to assess Stuart, and his obs are due.
I'll give you a hand.
I don't understand.
I've been here the whole time!
I'll find him. He can't have gone far.
No-one's seen him leave.
His mum. She died a year ago today.
He only wanted a bit of attention.
-Karl, is it?
I haven't thanked you.
Look, there's no need, really.
I thought she was drunk.
-I thought I left my jacket in here...
OK, I'll just send these off then.
You've got to tell them. You heard what she said. This is a warning.
If they know the truth they might be doing something different...
Nat... You need to do this now!
What do you think you're doing?
Have been for nearly a year now.
-We're planning on moving in together...
-Nat's on the pill, she has been for six months and she smokes ten a day at least.
She went to a clinic so you wouldn't find out.
If you were a normal mum, she would have told you she'd know the family history. She wouldn't even be here!
If you ask her to choose, she'll choose me.
Nat, tell her.
SLURRED SPEECH Er... I don't know...
What d'you mean you don't?
I can't feel my...
I can't remember the word!
Right, I'm getting someone...
We need help in here!
What's going on?
OK, it's OK.
Just like to say, on behalf of the porters, how pleased we are that you're properly back in the saddle.
Erm, Dr Winters? We need you in here.
Can you ask him to leave, please?
-I'm not going anywhere.
-I'm her mother. She needs me with her!
Er, maybe you should just wait outside... we need to keep things calm.
Well, what's happening though? You said she was better!
-Listen. You heard the doctor. Wait outside.
-Don't touch me!
-Ruth? You OK?
-Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
OK, listen to me, Natalie.
Can you uh, can you squeeze my hands for me?
OK, can you, er...
can you try pushing me away?
-I can't feel my left side.
Do something. Please. I've already lost one child...
Jay... could you take Mrs Bilson to the relatives' room please?
-She's all I've got!
Well, then you'd best let us get on with taking care of her.
It's all right, come with me. Come on.
There he is.
I'll go to him.
I was faking, OK?
Now let me go home. Leave me alone!
We need a trolley ASAP in the...
I thought you'd like this back.
I'm sorry about your mum.
Must be hard, a day like today.
It's not just today.
Stuart, you're not well.
Please let me help.
It's nothing. It'll go away.
I just need to rest...
at home... I just need to get home.
I should never have come here.
-If you don't deal with this, you might die.
-There's nothing wrong with me, I've told you. Argh!
I know you're missing your mum. I understand.
They said if she had a bone marrow transplant
it would give her five more years.
But she never came round from the operation.
I don't want to die.
Then you need to have this surgery.
I never meant to be really ill.
You just wanted to feel safe.
That's why you keep coming back.
You'll be safe, Stuart.
I'll make sure of that.
Ruth? What you doing? Have you called the stroke team?
Yeah, of course, but they're with another patient.
And as I've done the procedure before they've advised me to go ahead and thrombolyse.
But you sure you're ready for this?
I've been cleared to practise, Jay, have you got a problem with that?
-Can you draw me up ten units of reteplase?
-Help me, please.
-Look, you need to keep this on. OK?
Ruth, are you absolutely sure about this?
Ruth, think about it.
I'm not feeling too well, could you take over in Resus, please?
Patient needs thrombolysing.
Do I have any choice?
I take that as a no...
All right if I sit here?
It's a free country.
Where'd you get that?
I made it...
Yeah... she loved all that recycled stuff, didn't she?
Right up her street.
Look, mate, I let you down back there.
It's just, being at that college, you know...
I get these flashbacks.
They kinda freak me out, ya know.
I don't.. I don't deal with them very well.
Well, I should've had a bit more faith.
But you were right.
What do you mean?
I am what people say I am.
Well, you don't have to be, son. You know? Your choice.
I made it already.
That stuff I said about me nicking from the lockers the day before the shootings.
The last locker I opened was Jamie's.
Thought it was empty, you know?
But then when I looked again...
right at the back... I saw something...
didn't recognise it at first...
But then I saw it was a gun.
And you know what I did?
I shut the door, I turned around and walked away. Never told a soul.
Jamie was always messing about with stuff like that, you know?
Never crossed my mind he'd actually do what he did.
And now I hate myself for it.
So, d'you still believe in me now?
I didn't think so.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out.
It's not your fault, Jay.
You... you were right to challenge me.
You know I think you're a brilliant doctor.
Part of that is having complete confidence in yourself...
in your ability to do your very best for your patients.
I'm just not there yet.
You've got to focus on you now, yeah?
Making a full recovery.
Yeah, that's why I'm going to ask Mr Jordan to put me on Admin for a while.
I'm so proud of you, Dr Winters.
They've taken him up to theatre.
-Just thought I'd let you know.
-I called psych. They're on the case.
You know, Tess...
I came into this profession because I like people.
I like looking after them. Having a laugh.
Shocked myself today with how ruthless I was.
-I don't want to be a boss. I hate bosses.
-It'll get better.
I can't even look after myself, never mind a whole department.
Look at the state of me and this place.
I struggled to start with.
It's just a matter of finding a balance.
I don't think I can do it. I don't do responsibility.
I'm still 16 at heart.
Then maybe it's time to grow up.
She doesn't deserve this.
It should be me.
I think she's keen to sort this out with you and her mum.
Look, they'll be moving her up to the stroke unit in a minute. So...
Is she going to get better?
I mean like... properly better.
There's every chance that she will make a complete recovery...
..but equally, there could be serious long term effects.
It's a bit too early to know right now.
Whatever happens she's going to need a lot of support.
You have to prepare yourself for a long and potentially frustrating recovery period.
And it's going to be hardest on Natalie...
But she's putting up a fight.
That's not my Natalie.
I haven't been your mother for a long time.
But all that's going to change.
-What the hell are you doing here?
-You not even going to say thank you?
Takes more than a bit of first aid for me to change my mind about you.
Yeah, that's right... Cos I'm scum, yeah?
-Get your hands off me! What do you want?
You were well out of order this morning.
-I'm sorry about that, OK?
-Ah, it's too late. I'm the sick freak, remember?
And us sick freaks, we love to have a laugh. Come on then!
What've you got for me? Come on then!
Move them out of the way! Just move out of the way!
-Just move away now!
-Can you move back! Move back! Now!
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Having a nice relax, eh?
Getting on with your life.
Don't know how you do it, really.
-Well, you know.
Carry on like nothing's happened.
Well, with what's on your conscience.
My conscience is none of your business.
Polly would still be alive if you'd bothered to notice
your patient was seriously sick, so how do you explain that?
Right, I see. You're blaming me because you feel guilty.
-Why do I feel guilty?
-Look, tell me I'm wrong.
I don't think I am. You blame me if it makes you feel better.
You need to sort your own head out. Leave mine to me.
Jeffrey! Get in here! Now!
-Get over there!
Get off! Have a look at that, what's that like?
-All right, let him go!
-Help me, please!
-Ah, not such bad man now... are you?
-She wasted her time then?
-I don't know what you're talking about...
-Yeah, you do.
You do. Polly!
She spent the last few weeks of her life trying to sort out your twisted little head.
And here we are. Huh? Same old, same old...
like she never existed... What a fitting tribute(!)
Like I give a damn.
Oh, I think you do.
Yeah, I think you do. Cos she cared about you when no-one else did, didn't she? Huh?
That's why I'm here.
Cos she thought you were better than this.
Or maybe she was wrong.
Maybe I am.
It's not too late to make her proud, you know.
Come on. Good boy. Good boy.
It's all right, it's sorted.
I was here...
in this building when Polly died.
Did you know that?
No, I didn't.
Yeah. Running around.
Chatting to everyone.
Doing my thing.
And she's one floor below...
bleeding to death...
And ah... ah...
You know what I said?
When we found her?
I said, uh...
"You'll be all right now, kid.
"Because we're here."
Me and my big mouth, eh?
-It weren't your fault, though.
-Yeah, I know, I know.
I know that.
And the shooting wasn't yours.
Knowing is just half the battle isn't it?
At some stage we've got to stop blaming ourselves.
Polly hated miserable whingers.
Look, I'll try if you can, mate.
Not sure he is, though. I think the whisky chasers are finally catching up.
Serves him right for being so smug.
-Just you and me then.
-Just a sec.
Charlie and I were going for a drink tonight - wondering if you'd like to join us?
I can't tonight. I've got the budget figures to work on.
But thanks for asking.
He's even talking seriously about becoming a paramedic.
Hope he's not expecting you to do him any favours.
No. I said he's got to go to college, learn to drive.
Well, that'll be a breeze, with all that car jacking.
-You sure, Jeffrey?
Don't need some silly book to help remind me of her, do I?
She's in here.
Always will be.
I am so proud of you, Mr Collier.
Whooooar! Ho ho ho ho! Blimey!
-How much of that shepherd's pie did you have?
I'll catch you up.
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