Not in Holby Anymore Casualty

The ED is having a mystery inspection.

-If there's anything I can do to help...

-You're already helping.

I don't want to spend any more years apart.

Engage your brain! There is one in there somewhere.

I'm really not sure I'm cut out for this online dating.

You're not. It's for losers and weirdos.

You needn't look so smug. You were wrong,

and so were you, for not letting me know when you thought

a patient's life was at risk.

Oi, rent-a-gob! You could have told

me about the complaint before you started mouthing off!

-I'm the Trust's inspector.

-You?

Mr Grayling, I, erm...

You'll have my report by the end of the week.

It's easy just to tell people what their faults are.

Especially from a distance. You know, like, erm...

You - you need to be braver.

You - you need to be kinder.

You need to grow a little common sense.

But, if you really want to help people...

It's a very good likeness. Well done.

Come on, then.

Fine. Snog Louise, marry Ethan and...

Less chat, guys.

We're busy, if you hadn't noticed.

..avoid Jacob. Did we just get told off?

Last week's report. Wasn't exactly glowing.

Oi! Talk to me like that again, I will kick you out myself!

-Louise!

-Sorry.

Now just calm down. Just calm... Calm down.

Lads! Lads, lads, lads!

If you want to play fight club, we can have it round the back in ten.

Oh, make it stop, Charlie. It's not even nine o'clock.

But in here, you shut up, sit down, and behave.

Yeah, whatever. Come on...

Ever heard of backup?

Can I help you with something?

I've read the report.

It's not just a slight on you, it's a slight on all of us,

so maybe you shouldn't take it so personally.

Good. Cos I'm not.

Try telling the mug that.

Dropping a ton of grief on people's heads

is not going to make them work better.

You want a bet?

Yeah, actually, I do.

So? Has anyone got anything to say?

Yeah - no offence, Jacob, but do you really need me for this?

Lack of communication between reception and nursing staff

was an area deemed as "needing improvement",

so, yes, Noel, your presence is greatly required.

LOUISE GIGGLES

You were mentioned by name, actually, Lou.

For demonstrating an almost total lack of compassion

and bedside manner.

Give me that.

I think what Jacob is trying to say is that although the report

looks bad, it's an unfair representation.

We all know that we're capable of better.

No, I mean you guys let me down. Big time.

Can I just get back to work?

I'm meant to be reading a patient a bedtime story.

Well, thanks to your poor performance, the trust now want us

to try out a new team-building exercise.

Oh, joy of joys(!)

So, starting tonight,

we have to identify our individual weaknesses, work up a plan to

deal with them, and implement that with the help of our colleagues.

We're not some suits on an awayday, Charlie. We're nurses.

-I'm not doing it.

-I think I'm pretty busy.

Who wants to identify their personal weakness?

Good, because we've done it for you.

Louise, be nice.

NOEL CHUCKLES

Noel, engage your brain.

BOTH LAUGH

David. Grow a pair.

LAUGHTER

The Tin Woman, Scarecrow, and the Lion, you could say.

You could say.

Why are you even listening to doctor-what's-his-name, anyway?

The man fancies Lily.

Just get on with it, face-ache.

We'll reconvene in the morning, at the end of shift.

Now, let's get back to work. David?

You all set?

Yes. Can you remind me why I'm doing this?

Well, see it as a lesson in assertiveness.

Ah, assertiveness. Can't I do that here?

Would an assertive person ask me that?

You're being picked up in ten.

You been on the rob again?

Nah, not today. It's Alicia's.

So you have been, then.

Behave, will you? I'm looking after it.

Braver man than me.

Look at the state of these!

What do you reckon, Dave?

Ah, you'll be fine, mate.

There'll be a few people scrapping, maybe the odd spiking,

a few lightweights who can't handle their beer and guaranteed to

get some moron sticking a camera in your face.

Just keep an eye on your wallet, and whatever you do, don't...

Come on. Club's this way.

Come on, Sheriff.

My hat!

I told you. Stay away.

-Your brother invited me.

-Didn't you get the memo?

He might not have wised up yet, but he will.

And don't forget, I know you, Dan.

Oh, change the record, mate.

Change the record? Wipe your nose, pal.

Leave him. He's not worth it. Come on.

First time we've been kicked out before we've even got in.

It's not my fault.

You rubbed the bouncer's head!

It was just so shiny, man!

I didn't come all this way to sit and play Call Of Duty, you know.

Get me in the club.

I thought we were getting on it.

Au contraire, mon frere. On it indeed we are getting.

I like what you're saying.

Stu! Stu! Come here!

Kyle is going to kill you.

Spent years planning this, me and your brother.

He wanted you to get so smashed.

I've got more. Colombia's finest.

Ha-ha! Oh, hello, Refusie-Susie, I didn't know you were coming tonight.

Oh, shut up.

Look, I know why you're doing this.

You want to get at Kyle. I'm not stupid.

Behave. I'm here cos I want to be.

Sure?

Oh, it's your flipping birthday.

You won't say anything?

What your brother don't know, can't hurt me.

Ha-ha!

Still don't see what was wrong with the old system.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

THIS is a great piece of kit.

Sort of reminds me of Star Wars.

How is this anything like Star Wars?

These are not the attitudes we are looking for.

Majority of check-ins tonight need to be processed this way.

Trust's orders.

Yeah, but it's Saturday night, Dr Gardner!

Thank you, Noel.

-Noel.

-Ah.

Thank you, sir.

Ahem!

-One second.

-Can I have a word with you, please?

Sure.

I've just had my mother on the phone.

How is she?

Oh, thrilled at the news that she's going to be a grandma.

Aw! You guys! Congratulations.

What?

Relax. Max and Jez stole my tablet, and hacked my account.

My mam now thinks I'm a pregnant white supremacist.

Look at my profile. Twelve-week scan!

-Give it back!

-Jez has got it. For safekeeping.

Also for live updates throughout the night.

I'm going to murder you.

Unbelievable!

Her ankle got a lot better as soon as her song came on.

All right, let's find Iain,

call control, and tell them we're all clear.

Dave the rave!

Long time, man!

You know him?

Forgot how bad the clubs are round here, man.

In Manchester, yeah, there's a...

Blah, blah, blah, in Manchester...

In Manchester, you ain't got me, have ya?

That's true.

Yeah? Cheers.

I've missed you.

You could, you know, call more.

Your phone's for more than just watching porn, you know.

Listen, I'm a man of mystery, innit?

They seek him here, they seek him there.

What you doing? Put the drink down! Move, man!

-Move!

-Idiot.

Rar! Proper full-on Hulk tonight, innit?

Contamination! It might be contaminated.

Next round's on you, then.

Ah. Had any nibbles, Nibbles?

Yeah. Lots.

I'm not sure this is really my thing, to be honest.

-Come on, let's have a look.

-No, I...

Don't worry, I'm not going to look at your photos.

There's nothing here...

Yeah, I'm... I'm waiting for the right girl.

Come on. There's loads of talent on here.

Oh, look, there's the fit F1 on Keller.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Oh, hang on, I've had her.

Unfortunately, there isn't a filter for

"girls my brother has slept with".

-Hmm.

-What are you doing?

I'm just making a few edits to your "about me" bit.

-No...

-No, look, trust me on this one, bro, OK?

Give it an hour, or two, and they'll be...

-"Ethan" out of the palm of your hand.

-Ugh.

OK.

Right, I'll hang on to this.

No, that's...

Nee-naw, nee-naw, fun police have arrived.

-What have you given him?

-Nothing you haven't had before.

Yeah, well, some of us grew up.

Bet it's lonely up there on that high horse.

-Are you jealous?

-Of what?

Some crappy 9-5 and a girlfriend who uploads a picture

of every meal she cooks you for dinner?

Do me a favour. Got plenty to keep me occupied.

Anyone. You can have absolutely anyone.

Can't help who you fall for.

He could actually go places, Dan.

I'm not going to let you cock that up for him.

What I don't know, can't hurt you.

ALARM WAILS

Fire! Actual fire in the smoking area!

OK, ladies and gents, out the door, please! Come on!

Thank you very much! Nice and calmly.

This way, please, ladies and gents. Come along.

Right, here we go. Finally, something to do.

3-0-0-6 to control, responding to a running call, over...

-Hang on! Hang...

-Come on, Dave!

But we were leaving!

Come on, guys. Keep it moving.

Move over, guys. Let me have a look.

Ah!

YELLS FROM CROWD

-Where's my brother?

-He's at the front.

All right, David, see if you can see outside.

We'll try and stop the ones at the back.

3-0-0-6 to control, I need back up at The Crypt Nightclub.

Three ambulances.

Boys! Boys! We've got a problem at the back!

Guys! Guys!

ALARM STOPS

SCREAMS FADE

HEARTBEAT THUDS

SIREN WAILS

3-0-0-6, multiple casualties at the rear of the building.

All right, folks - attention, please.

We've got incoming from a crowd crush at a nightclub.

Now, we can expect respiratory problems and related injuries.

St James' is bearing the brunt of it,

but heads up, folks, we are not in Kansas any more.

Better practice my "I care" face, then.

You might want to work on that.

Yeah, it'd be the perfect showcase for your...compassion.

With a bunch of wreck-heads?

Somebody please pass me an oil can.

I think she's rusting up.

Why are you acting weird?

I know why.

All right, this is Kyle Jenkyns, 27.

He was crushed in a crowd surge at a nightclub approximately

30 minutes ago. His resp rates are high at 30.

Suspected compression asphyxiation,

GCS 15, pulse 110, BP 135/80,

sats 96%. There's no suspicion of C-spine injury.

Hi, there. My name's Dylan, all right?

We're going to try and see if we can work out

what's going on with your breathing difficulties.

Is he going to be OK?

And that's Stuart Jenkyns. He was caught in the same crush.

All his obs are fine, but he was pretty breathless when

we found him, so we thought it best to bring him in.

And today's his 18th birthday!

Ah! Happy birthday, mate.

Ah, man! I remember my 18th.

I woke up half-naked in a field outside Cardiff airport.

Yeah, all right, Jez, not now, mate.

Shall we get some bloods off then, please? We need...

Us&Es, FBC, glucose, blood gasses, and a group and save.

That's it, Kyle - take it easy.

Does it hurt when you breathe in? It does?

OK. Do you want to lead this chest exam, then, Seb?

David?

So? How did you get on out there?

Wrong answer, David.

Remember the reason why you're doing this. Step it up.

I jumped off a three-storey building(!)

Yeah, sure you did, Dave.

We're taking ten.

It's David.

This is Owen Cooke.

He's got a displaced wrist fracture from being crushed in the club.

His resps are 18,

pulse 70, BP 120/80,

and he had nitrous oxide en route.

I think he overdid it on the laughing gas.

What you saying, then? Are you seeing someone?

I'm afraid so. Can you try and move your fingers for me?

Louise, IV access for some morphine, please?

-On it.

-Ah!

Cos I'm...

I'm sensing a connection.

We're not allowed to date the punters, unfortunately.

I can take you for an X-ray, though.

It's a date.

Ow! What are you doing, man?

Sorry, I should have said it might hurt.

-Hey!

-It's not nice, is it?

Mate, don't pinch the nurses.

You think it's funny? That's assault.

If you want my professional diagnosis,

some signs of injected sclera,

dilated pupils, and a dryness of the throat can only mean one thing...

You're high.

It's fine.

Why don't I dim the lights and get you both some sugary tea

while we wait for your X-ray?

You're really going to run around getting drinks

for a couple of stoners?

You're not exactly showing your compassion, Louise.

Give me a dying old lady, I'll give you compassion.

I need to get out of here, man.

Mate, look at your arm. Don't be a div all your life.

You got your green on you?

-ED and chill?

-Come.

Mrs Peters. Intermittent chest pains.

Didn't even have to speak to me.

Where do I sign up?

Hey, you know, I could get used to this.

Yeah, it makes you even more redundant.

Ha-ha, very funny(!)

Some time today, Seb.

Trachea central, decreased expansion on the left side,

hyper resonant to percussion,

decreased breath sounds.

Pneumothorax.

Right. That took far too long. OK?

Your decision-making needs to be much sharper. Can we get 10 mls

of 1% lignocaine, please? And a chest drain, Seb.

Hello. Who are you?

Their mate. You?

He's not MY mate.

Oh, yeah, I've got it, pal.

OK, this isn't a youth club. Would you mind waiting outside, please?

-I know you...

-Oh, you do?

Don't take it personally, I never call anyone back.

Can we concentrate on the medicine,

rather than trying to pick up men?

You all right?

Yeah, I... Get back to bed. I'll talk to you in a minute.

Now, deep breaths for me, please, Stuart.

Sorry, I can call security. I'm sure they'd love to meet you.

-DAN SIGHS

-No need to call in the muscle.

Dr Grayling, have you ever done a chest drain before?

What do you think we did in training?

Well, evidently not enough. This one's yours, OK?

It looks like you sustained a collapsed lung in the crush,

so we're going to insert a chest drain to re-inflate it.

Right. When you're ready, make the incision.

OK. You need the artery forceps.

Now, you're going to dissect the skin

and the layer of fat above the rib...

OK, insert a finger into the pleural space. That's it.

Wow. 18 today?

That's quite a milestone.

Yeah, key in the door, and I kill my brother.

Great start to adult life(!)

We won't let that happen.

-Promise?

-No-one dies tonight.

Not on my watch.

This way, George.

Ah, George. Frequent flyer.

Police picked him up having a fight with a set of traffic lights.

Did he see red?

That briefcase - I've never seen him without it.

In fact, Noel and Big Mac used to have a running bet

on what's inside it.

Did they ever find out?

No.

He can't remember the combination.

Right. Now it's asking, are you feeling nauseous?

You want to wash us?

No. Do you feel sick, George?

We'll just put "yes".

-Are you bleeding?

-I'm bleeding drunk.

HE VOMITS

I don't think this is meant for every patient, Noel.

I am but humbly following instructions, Charlie.

All right, George. Excuse me.

Either of you gents got a minute?

Oh, I'm...

Um, tell you what, you take him and you get your phone back.

Well, that's not how it works.

Apparently, it is.

Need a tissue?

Fine, thanks.

If your friends have been taking something...

How much does the NHS waste sorting out booze-soaked livers?

But that's OK, that's a socially acceptable problem.

I wasn't judging.

I earn 30 grand a year, drive a nice car,

rent a tidy little flat in the water quarter.

Think I'm doing just fine...mate.

-Ah!

-Oh, sorry. Did that hurt?

Like I said, wipe your nose.

-You sure you want to smoke another one?

-Yeah, of course!

Feels like college again, man.

Going into Mr Adam's class, three doughnuts each...

Proper red eye.

"Nobody gets hay-fever in December". What an idiot!

He always said you were nuts.

The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again

and expecting a different outcome.

Yeah, yeah, how profound. Come on. Sharing is caring. Gimme that.

What are you doing?!

Pass it!

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Oi! This ain't Amsterdam. Get out.

I ain't got time to muck around.

Move. KNOCK ON DOOR

-You kidding me?

-Medicinal, innit.

Bed. Now.

-Is he always like this?

-He's fine.

OK, David, let's get FBCs, Us&Es, and an ECG, please.

I'm sorry, excuse me?

It's cool. He's my mate.

Yeah, it's fine. He can stay.

-OK.

-These tests -

they won't show, you know, anything in my system that shouldn't be?

Well, we don't specifically test for illegals,

but to be honest with you, we don't really need to.

You seen your pupils?

Are you going to call my mum?

No. We won't, will we? It's not going to stop us

giving you the old drugs lecture when we're done.

What is this, a public information film? He's FINE.

I'm looking after him.

Yes. You're doing a grand job so far(!)

Right, well, I'll be back with your test results.

Just try and sit still.

Look, trouble. I'm done here, going to head back,

see if there's any stragglers who want to keep going.

-You're actually mental.

-You in?

They've put a tube in Kyle's chest.

You only get one 18th.

He'll go nuts.

And then he'll calm down.

You all right?

Fine. I just feel a little weird.

Yeah, coke'll do that. Tell you what you need - a downer.

Gravity - what goes up, and all that.

Oh, I haven't even had a chance to say "happy birthday" properly.

What about my brother?

Oh, don't worry. I'll deal with him.

Can I go home yet?

I would just like to look at your feet first.

At least get me a drink.

Well, it's water, weak tea,

or hand sanitiser, I'm afraid.

Been there before.

OK, this does look like trench foot.

Left your case out front, George.

You still can't remember the combination, then?

Get lost.

Charming, as ever(!) I don't know why I bother.

It's shut for a reason!

I tried convincing him. Said he should stay.

You know what it's like...

Cut the bull. This is your idea.

Said I'd go with him. Keep an eye on him, like.

Wouldn't want him getting into trouble.

No more mucking about, Dan. Just leave him.

You could have got me arrested earlier.

Grassing me up to security like that.

I know times have changed, mate, but that's low. Really low.

I had to get the message across somehow, didn't I?

Oh, it's loud and clear, don't you worry.

I'll look after him.

Ah! Ah!

Hey, hey, hey, come on, where are you going?

Why is it everybody's blood pressure seems to rise when you're around?

It's fine. I was just leaving.

Don't wait up.

Do you believe in God?

Oh, chill out, they'll think you're mental.

Let's just treat your wrist, yeah?

People devoting their whole lives over a 2,000-year-old story book.

That's mental.

It's still one of our first attempts at explaining the world.

It shouldn't be discounted.

Exactly. Our first attempt.

Ergo, our worst attempt.

Ten points to Gryffindor for using ergo in a sentence.

-I can't feel my arm.

-Yeah, it's perfectly normal.

It's not normal, you moron.

I can't feel my arm.

What's wrong with my arm? Are you trying to poison me?

It just means the medication's working.

We're going to reduce your wrist. You shouldn't feel a thing.

Just do as they say, yeah, Owen?

OK, Louise, get the back slab on,

and check the X-ray for the position of the fracture.

They've been planning on taking me since the club, ain't they!

Is this normal, as well?

You've just snapped his bones in half,

I think he's allowed to act a little weird.

The back slab, Lou.

Look, David, it's a Saturday night.

I mean, it's easier to find someone who isn't chewing their face off.

Well, I've got reason to believe he's not planning on

-staying much longer.

-Oh! Do you hear that? A bed for you. Result.

Well, his pupils were dilated and he was hyper alert...

Sounds like he had a good night. Does he have capacity?

Well, the younger one is only 18, so barely,

but I was going to suggest...

No, no, no, no, no. Suggested, considered, denied.

Look, we deal with the patients who actually want to be here.

We don't have time to be baby-sitting the whole of Holby.

You understand?

I need you to get me out of here.

You said he'd be discharged now.

-Yeah, when his results are back.

-Ah!

-Hey! Calm down.

-They're stalling. I told you.

They're trying to keep me here.

Sit down.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

-What?

-They've got to you as well, ain't they?

-In there.

-Keep a lid on it. They're going to lock you up in a minute.

When I was a child,

I spoke as a child,

I understood as a child, I thought like a child.

Has he always been religious?

His mum was a right Bible basher, but not him.

Just knows a lot about it.

This is normal for him.

Yeah, totally normal.

I understood like a child... I thought...

I thought like a child...

-You sure Ky will be OK?

-Change the record.

I'll send him this - let him know we're OK.

All right, Kyle? How are you, mate?

All right, Ky, I'm with Dan, I'm fine.

So, he was OK about me coming?

Yeah, of course.

Told you. You need a downer.

No, no, no, not ketamine. I promised.

-Oh...

-Regret-amine.

Seriously. You need to relax.

Take ten minutes. Little disco nap.

-Promise you'll come back?

-Promise.

I'm not stupid, you know! I see what's going on. Agendas!

There's a lot of agendas going on right now, but I'm aware of it,

trying to put this on me. Are you stupid or something?

Everything OK, face-ache?

He's got a questionable mental state and he's refusing to cooperate.

-Owen?

-..I know what's going on.

Who's this, what? What, your leader, yeah?

Cos I'm not falling for it. You ain't taking me nowhere, fam!

-It's OK.

-Eh? Ready for you!

Calm down, calm down. We're here to help you.

Nobody's planning on taking you anywhere, OK?

Why is it so hot in here?

Turned up the heating... It's too hot. It's too hot...

Call duty psych.

Let them know we've got a patient that may need a section 2.

And update Elle, as well.

Why are you doing all this? He's not mental.

They've been planning this for a long time!

OK, we'll have to hold him here until duty psych arrive.

-Drugs?

-He'll be fine. He just needs to sleep it off a bit.

Defending him - it isn't the same as helping him.

-I need some air.

-OWEN CONTINUES RAMBLING

Lou!

Where they going?

I know what's best for my boy, thanks.

Clearly not. He needs help.

Why is that so hard for you to understand?

He's always done mad stuff. Always.

What does that make me, if I didn't know he's flipping mental?

Some mate I am.

Get me out of here! OWEN SCREAMS

This isn't about you, it's about Owen, and right now,

he is scared and confused and he needs someone he knows in there.

Someone he can trust.

So why are you still standing here?

And you think he's in danger?

Well, it's not going to look very good for us if

he comes back in here with an overdose, is it?

Jacob said I was needed here more.

You think I would have lasted this long if I listened to

every word my superiors told me?

Sorry, have you MET Jacob(?)

Remind me - what happened last week?

-I didn't act on my concerns.

-Exactly.

We don't need you to be a cowardly lion, David.

We need you...

to roar.

No, really. Say it.

I'm not a cowardly lion.

Now roar. I mean it.

Do it.

Me?

DAVID ROARS

There you go.

PHONE BEEPS

All right, Kyle? How are ya, mate?

Hi, Ky. I'm with Dan, I'm fine.

Please. Please can you go and check on him? Please?

Oh, no...

Oh, no, Stu, Stu...

-No, no, no, no, no...

-STUART GAGS

Stu, Stu, Stu...

No, he doesn't look good. He's propped up outside.

Just hurry.

Owen. Can you remember where you are?

You're at Holby City ED.

Duty psych's about an hour away.

Right, guess we'll hold this pose then, shall we?

What happens when they get here? Are you sectioning him?

The duty psych will give him a full proper assessment.

They'll decide if he needs a psychiatric bed.

But just to warn you - it might not be local.

What do you mean?

We just don't have enough beds for psych patients,

and we can't look after him here, not safely.

Where are you taking him?

-Well, last week someone was taken to Liverpool.

-Are we going home now?

No. No, we're not going home.

You lied to me.

You're not very well, Owen. These guys are going to make you better.

No... No...

You can act up all you want, mate. I'm not leaving you.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child...

I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I...

Why can't I remember the next bit?

I reasoned like a child.

When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

1 Corinthians, 13:11?

Am I sick?

Yeah. But we'll get you better. I promise.

Nice work, Nurse Tyler.

He's here!

Right, I've got a pulse. Stuart? Can you hear me?

Stuart? All right, mate, it's Iain. Right, trolley, please, Jez.

STUART MUTTERS

That's it, mate, you keep talking to me.

Dan didn't see me like this, did he?

Don't worry. He didn't see a thing.

That's it, breathe. That's it.

Sorry, George, I... I didn't mean to offend you.

You failed.

Don't you... You know?

-Don't you want to open it?

-No.

-What's in it, George?

-Mind your own business.

-If it's an AK47, Big Mac owes me £100.

-Drop it.

-You don't know, do you?

-Oh, please, just leave me alone.

What if it's something that can help you? Like money?

Even if I could remember the code, it stays shut.

-You hear me?

-But, can't you see that, if we can...

It's just a reminder. Of everything I've lost.

But, George it could change your life...

Just take it, then!

Leave me alone.

-Sorry.

-I thought I told you not to...

-Not now, Jacob.

All right, what have we got?

This is Stuart Jenkyns, 18 years old.

Suspected overdose approximately 30 minutes ago.

GCS 13, tachy at 140, BP 140/90, sats 92%, resps of 10.

He's burning up at 39.5. Let's get him across, please.

-Yeah.

-One, two, three.

All right, did you take anything else, Stu?

OK, 4 mg of lorazepam, please.

Let's get a fan on him and let's do a BM.

I'm going to need some ice packs, and some cooled IV saline.

Let's do some bloods,

including clotting and a venous blood gas, please.

What's wrong with him?

The drugs he's taken are affecting his ability to

control his body temperature. We need to cool him immediately.

-Any idea what he's taken?

-This, for starters. Ketamine.

Ah, we should have done that lecture after all.

All right, he's in VF. Let's shock him.

You thick or something?

I wasn't trying to steal anything from it, George.

I haven't opened it in 15 years. What makes you so special?

Come on, then. Let's get you back to bed.

Do you mind?

Yes. I thought we'd established that.

Just one last chance, George. That's all. Please?

I knew eight years of working with Big Mac would come in handy one day.

That tapping. It's Morse code, isn't it?

BRIEFCASE SNAPS OPEN

100 milligrams IV amiodarone going in.

And, pulse check.

Still in VF.

All right. Charging.

Oxygen away.

Stand clear. Shocking.

Great. He's back in sinus rhythm. Well done, David.

All right, let's get a 12 lead, and someone call ITU, please.

Worth it, was it?

-I thought...

-What happened in your life to make you so spiteful?

You think you're so big and clever, don't you?

But you did this.

And for what?

To prove a point?

To justify your lifestyle?

To get back at your mate?

I just wanted to have a good time.

He's practically dead!

Grow up, Daniel.

Before it's too late.

My man.

Well, thank you,

I've now treated a homeless man's trench-foot-ridden feet.

Hand it over.

Fine. But you can thank me.

Eight matches. Eight messages.

Yeah, I went for pictures with a Malia 2009 Facebook album vibe.

What does NSA mean?

No strings attached.

Ahem...

Didn't think that was your sort of thing?

No. It... It was Cal's idea.

I'm certainly not looking for NSA.

Well, there's nothing wrong with a bit of online dating.

Here, do you mind?

Keep it brief, but meaningful.

Who's that physicist that you like again?

-Feynman.

-Feynman.

"Here I stand, atoms with consciousness,

"matter with curiosity.

"A universe of atoms, an atom in the universe."

That is never going to work.

What do you know? Right, I need a drink.

Mam wants me to call grandma,

let her know that I'm not welcoming in the next generation of Munroes.

Oooh, heaven forbid...

Is he going to be OK?

Teenagers are pretty resilient, if not stupid.

That doesn't mean he's not critically ill.

But he's not going to die?

Get out of here.

I'm sorry.

Sorry? You nearly killed my brother, but, oh, good, you're sorry(!)

Make him hate me.

I think you've done a good enough job of that yourself.

What did you get out of this?

I missed hanging around with you. He was the next best thing.

-What happened to us?

-You happened.

He's off to a homeless veterans' shelter.

Our George is a war hero.

You don't say? Well, it's been a real honour treating you, George.

-Bye, George.

-See you around.

Hey, I sincerely hope not.

-Now that's something you don't get with a machine.

-Mm.

So, how did not being a hard-faced cow go?

Not bad for some cringe-y HR exercise.

I can't believe you guys took it so seriously.

Put you in your place, didn't I?

Sorry, Jacob... Jacob, I'm sorry...

Unnecessary, I...

I still want to know how Henry Gale from HR would react

if we told him how to do HIS job.

-Henry Gale?

-Do you know him?

Dorothy's uncle. In The Wizard Of Oz.

I mean, it's a classic.

The Scarecrow needed a brain.

Charlie made me roar like a lion.

He said I needed oiling.

The Lion, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man.

This is a stitch-up.

DUFFY LAUGHS It worked!

I can't believe it, it worked!

Of course it worked, yeah, because it was a great deal

of intelligence, it was funny...

Dropping a load of grief on people's heads

is not going to make them work better.

You want a bet?

Yeah. Actually, I do.

What?

I bet you I can get much better results out of people

by not shouting at them.

And you have to buy me breakfast if I can prove I'm right.

You don't do a lot of betting, do you, Charlie?

So, put your money where your mouth is.

Ah, you see, see, that's not a fair bet.

I mean, a pep talk from Charlie Fairhead,

and anyone is going to work their arses off.

Make it harder, then.

Wizard Of Oz.

Ha-ha! How's about that?

I can only use The Wizard Of Oz as my point of reference

if I want to offer someone advice or encouragement.

How's about that?

Yeah, but that's not how betting works, Charlie.

It's easy just to tell people what their faults are.

Especially from a distance. You know, like you need to be braver.

You need to be kinder.

You need to grow a little common sense.

But, if you really want to help people, you have to actively

encourage them to be the best that they can possibly be.

That's how you get results. That's how you make a difference, Jacob.

Yeah, you see? See? You see? This is what I'm talking about.

Charlie, you're a wizard. It's not fair, that's not a fair bet.

I like my bacon extra crispy.

-This guy...

-Well?

All right. You're on.

-So there was no HR directive.

-No, you mug.

-Not cool, guys.

-Very not cool.

But we were only trying to show you what you were capable of,

that you had all those things in you all along.

Well, I was nice to everyone.

I jumped off a building.

I just want to go home.

Well, maybe you could try clicking your heels together three times,

see if that takes you...

Come on. Let's go get our own breakfast.

It's funny! It's really funny, Noel!

Guys! Come on, it was fun... It was funny...

And if you learnt something...

All right. I guess breakfast is on me.

Actually....

Less chat, guys. We're busy, if you hadn't noticed.

Did we just get told off?

Last week's report. Wasn't exactly glowing.

Just click your heels together three times, and everything will be fine.

Worth a try.

Oi, lads, lads, LADS!

Oh, make it stop, Charlie. It's not even nine o'clock.

-In here, shut up, sit down, and behave!

-He'll calm down.

If you can stop him behaving like a bulldog chewing on a wasp

for the evening, breakfast is on me.

-Really?

-Mm.

-Easiest breakfast I'll ever have.

-Confident?

Hungry.

We were testing YOU.

That is not funny.

Oh, come on. I'll get you one and all.

Maybe a pint if you're lucky.

Do you know what? I think I'll join the others.

Oh, come on, now!

-Jacob!

-It was funny!

-No sense of humour.

-No sense of humour.