The Stag, the Dog and the Sheep Casualty

Connie, I made a judgment call, as we do.

I have no option but to report you to the Trust.

I know you want to find someone to blame.

But ruining Elle's career is not going to help Grace.

She is incompetent and she almost killed my daughter.

Hey! Where did you get that?

I've been looking for that everywhere.

-MEN TOGETHER:

-Boring, boring driver!

Boring, boring driver!

He's a boring, boring driver!

Come on, Dylan!

Barry will have fallen into the sea by the time we get there.

-That's a good joke.

-Thank you.

But then, I suppose I've got to laugh, haven't I,

in case you punch me in the face again?

Ah...! I know, I didn't know, did I?

Ow!

-What was that for?

-Well, you're a bully, aren't you?

Sorry, I need to go to the little boys' room.

Blues and twos, Dylan. Put your foot down. We've got an emergency.

The speed limits aren't a suggestion. It's the law.

If you don't hurry up, I'll do it all over this minibus.

# Stop the bus, he needs a wee-wee

# Stop the bus, he needs a wee-wee... #

SHEEP BLEAT

-I thought you needed to go?

-I can't go with everyone watching, can I?

You really think we're watching?

-DYLAN:

-A minute ago we were in a hurry.

What's taking him so long? Come on.

-Lads, please!

-Come on, Noel!

SHEEP BLEATS

Oh, go on! Shoo...!

-SHEEP BLEATS

-I don't like a crowd.

-CRUNCHING

-Argh! Oh! You bit me!

-That's one for the medics.

-It bit me!

It got my hand!

That is one aggressive sheep.

-Let's get it!

-What?

-Come on, stags!

Let's get it!

Sheep!

I've got him.

You wait there, sheep.

This is how far mankind has evolved.

Fully-grown men, who have worked their entire lives

to become invaluable members of a progressive society,

in the blink of an eye, reduced to chasing a woolly ruminant.

Sheep!

Oh! Urgh!

-Cheers.

-What? It was an accident.

-Well, I hope you're not going to be like this the whole trip.

-Like what?

We're here for Charlie, so...

Yeah.

Yeah.

Of course.

-For Charlie.

-Great.

-Sheep! Sheep!

-More sheep!

Derv-laaaa!

We're here for one night.

I wear a lot of product.

Mr Fairhead.

-ALL:

-Yay!

-Josh!

-You thought I'd miss out on this?

We are cranking this one up to 11, my old mate.

Oooh, 11!

The veteran of the blues!

It's her.

-It's actually her!

-I told you I'd track it down.

How long has it been, Lionel? What, 15 years?

More like 20.

-HE COUGHS

-Time flies, eh?

But not as fast...

..as you used to.

-Tel...

-Yes, mate?

I thought these days were long gone.

Let's call it a...pregnant pause, eh?

This is tighter than I remember.

Actually, Lionel, hang on a second, mate.

I think we're going to need a bigger can...

-BANG!

-Argh!

Aarrgghh!

Terry?

-THUD!

-Terry!

TERRY WHEEZES

HE COUGHS

HE SNORES GENTLY

CRASHING

Charlie?

SHEEP BLEATS

Oh...

sheeeeep!

SHEEP BLEATS

Oh...

Oh...

Oh, oh...

SNORING INTENSIFIES

Urgh!

Oh...!

Oh, is it yesterday or tomorrow?

SHEEP BLEATS

Oh, come on!

You promised me you were going to take that thing back to the field.

I've just spent over an hour cleaning wool out of the minibus.

-ALL:

-Argh!

Dylan!

Guys...

Where did you get that?

Erm...

Anyone?

Hang on. Where's Charlie?

-Who's Charlie?

-The groom. The reason we're all here.

SHEEP BLEATS

-Dr Gardner.

-Thank you.

-Got an incoming in Resus, if you fancy it?

-Er...

I'm in the middle of something.

Looks like you've got me instead.

WHISPERS: My lucky day.

This is Terry Boydell, 51 years old.

At half-past eight, he fired himself unsuccessfully from a cannon,

landing on outstretched hands.

He's complaining of tenderness over his distal radius.

He wasn't KO'd. GCS 15 throughout. Pulse 105.

-Given him ten of morphine.

-Sorry, did you say a cannon?

Charlie, I'm getting butterflies. Do you see what you do to me?

Anyway, I've written some vows, but I wanted your opinion.

So give me a call, mister, OK?

-Ah! Working your wedding day?

-Half shift.

They needed cover.

Hello. This is Lionel Withers, 52 years old.

At approximately 8.30 he was hit by flying debris

from an exploding cannon.

Not KO'd, but laceration to right forehead.

GCS 15. BP 125/75.

Pulse 84. Resps 16. Sats 97%.

-And he was given Entonox en route.

-OK, bay three, please.

So you definitely said cannon?

I am the Icarus Kid. The bravest man in Britain.

No-one flies closer to the sun.

Right, can we get this wrist X-rayed,

once we've got him out of this...costume thing.

Have you ever seen a man fly?

It's a beautiful thing.

Yeah, until he lands.

Thank you. I'm going to begin primary survey

and can you have a look at the laceration for me, please?

-Yeah.

-How's Terry?

Oh, he's fine. He's just there.

I thought his costume was too tight. I should've told him.

So have you guys got your glad rags for later?

-What time's kick off, babe?

-2pm.

-Reception's in the pub afterwards.

-Great.

Straight to the old people's home for their honeymoon. Lucky them!

And he loves a wedding.

He's not been right since his sister got sent back to the slammer.

So...

We could can always save her some cake - put a hacksaw in it!

SLAP!

Tell me what you did with the briefcase.

My mother always said to me,

"Sarvas, treat the ladies well.

"You're a boy who doesn't know his own strength.

"So be nice to people who are much frailer than you are."

Your mother...

Is no longer with us.

-What are you doing?!

-I have been sent here to collect.

And collect I will.

-I want that briefcase.

-Wait! Just wait!

I met a guy last night. I locked the briefcase to his wrist.

They were on a stag night, I swear! Him and his friends, blind drunk.

You must have agreed to meet with him.

He's at a B&B on the seafront. I was going to go there first thing.

Which B&B?

Which B&B?!

OK, you have a small fracture to the wrist.

It's undisplaced, so we just need to get it into a plaster.

Can we get a backslab, please?

Oh...I've got this meeting.

-You'll need to find cover.

-On it.

You were very lucky. The laceration is only superficial.

Right, we'll take you to a cubicle and close it with some glue.

Hopefully, you'll just end up with a bit of a headache.

I don't suppose you know of anybody

-with an extra-large cannon going free, do you?

-Excuse me?

Joking.

HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

Had that cough long?

Nah. It's Lionel's smoking.

He does get nervous around a cannon. Puffs for England.

Well, I'm sorry your comeback wasn't quite as planned.

No, it's a minor glitch.

He'll patch the cannon and I'll go on a diet.

You see, I need to fly.

That's who I am.

OMG.

Yeah! Can you believe it?

I hired a dark suit. I know I did.

Well, you'll certainly clash with the bride.

Yeah, let's hope Charlie doesn't marry you instead.

You're actually looking worried.

Elle?

I've been called to an MPTS hearing.

But I thought this was all done with.

-The GMC have said there's been a second complaint.

-From who?

The guy with the wig. Jamieson.

Connie must have talked to him.

And you didn't say something?

I didn't believe it would get this far. Why would it?

So what happens now?

Connie will be asked to give her version of events. Game over.

I will no longer be a doctor.

OK...

OK.

OK, the wedding's at...two o'clock.

So, if we're allowing for Dylan's driving,

we've got to find Charlie in the next...

Yes?

What's three hours minus 45 minutes?

-I don't know.

-Has anyone got any wire cutters?

No.

I can't carry this around all day!

-Oh, no!

-What?

I can't remember my name!

-Can you just be serious for a minute?

-No, no! What am I called?

-Someone, anyone, what's my name?

-It's Leslie.

Leslie.

Ah, right.

Leslie.

Of course it is. The lovely...Leslie.

Brainwave. Let's just phone Charlie.

Let's just phone him. Just phone him. We should have just phoned him.

Yeah...

Huh?

-Why have you got Duffy as your background?

-Erm...

-Have you and her...?

-No!

-PHONE RINGS Whoa...

-She's phoning?

-This is Charlie's phone.

-Look, who cares whose phone it is?

The ringing is frying my brain!

No! We can't speak to anyone. Not until we've found Charlie.

-They'll hold it against us forever.

-Yeah, they will.

-They absolutely will.

-Oh...all right.

Dylan is out with, erm... What's his name?

-Jim?

-Josh!

-Josh!

So let's...let's split up, maybe we'll cover more ground. Yeah?

OK, I'll take...Leslie.

Come on.

Looks like it's me and you...bro.

Charlie just rejected my call.

-You sure?

-Positive.

Why would he do that?

-Any news on Tel?

-I'll chase it up for you.

Oh, and is there a smoking room?

-It's called the car park.

-Oh...

We hadn't spoken for 20 years.

And soon as we get back together, this happens.

-You don't think it's a sign, do you?

-A sign?

That we should've let it lie. That it's all too late.

You know the saying - it's never too late.

And you know the other saying - leave well alone.

SHE GASPS AND STRAINS

-What do you mean, everyone's tied up?

-We've got a busy ED.

HE GASPS AND CHOKES

OK, 4mg of lorazepam, please. Let's get him on his side.

MONITOR BEEPS

In your own time.

-Well, you want the correct dose, right?

-When you can...

can you tell Elle she needs to find cover for me?

It's Charlie, which is C for, erm...Charlie.

Hotel, Alpha, Romeo, Lima...

It's Fairhead. Charlie Fairhead.

My esteemed colleagues were, er...

on a stag night last night.

They seem to have misplaced the groom.

No-one of that name here.

Oh, OK. Well, thanks, anyway.

What on earth did you get up to last night?

Get up.

-I'm busy.

-Busy being pathetic.

There are people out there who need you.

Look, I am done being big brother to you.

If you've got no more fight left, then don't hide under the desk.

Clear it.

-Can you stop dawdling?

-It's my leg. It really hurts.

You are such a wuss, man.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait.

HE GASPS

What is that?!

Yeah, you, er...

Argh!

No, no, no!

What does it even say?

Er...

Yeah, "Eb erom Lac".

-I've got a tattoo?

-Mm-hm.

No! That's the kind of thing you'd do!

Well, you pretty much are me now.

HE HUMS HERE COMES THE BRIDE

-Maybe save that until later on, yeah?

-If there is a later.

Don't say that.

What if Charlie's changed his mind, eh?

What if we both have? In fact, what if we're just two stupid people

who missed the boat a long, long time ago?

Duffy...this is the love story to end all love stories.

I'll tell you what, I'll call Max.

I'll tell him to tell Charlie to ring you.

I was up half the night writing our vows.

He's not exactly rushing to hear them, is he?

Duffy!

DOOR OPENS

Dr Gardner... Did Jacob not come and see you?

I'm needed in a meeting. I'd like you to take my patient in Resus.

It came, then?

Good.

I must remember to get you a leaving card.

I said I will bring the money back, so bring the money back I will.

It's just taking a bit longer than I imagined. But I have a lead.

HEAVY METAL MUSIC

Hello...

Oh, it's you two again.

-Right. You know us?

-Not that I want to.

The noise while you were being tattooed...

The screaming was horrendous! The loudest I've ever heard.

-That sounds about right.

-Jade?

Yep?

Don't touch anything.

Or scream.

We need to get this open.

They must have tools in here or something, yeah?

Hang on...

You brought a stethoscope to a stag do?

Yeah.

-It's a comfort thing.

-Oh, seriously?

Oh, right, yeah. You're actually being serious.

-Shh.

-You are ridiculous.

Oh, hi! Erm...

Can... Can I have a look at some more designs, please?

I'm thinking of, er...a caterpillar.

Sure.

Caterpillar?

What the hell did we do last night?

-Oh, you'd been to a pole dancing club.

-Oh, a pole dancing club!

-Which one?

-There is only one.

Oooh! Oooh! Don't be shy, ladies!

There's a doctor in the house!

Are you sure that's your brother?

Yeah, funny. I've been asking myself that a lot recently.

You know, you always wonder what these places are going to be like

and then, once you get here...

# Recollect me, darling, raise me to your lips

# Two undernourished egos, four rotating hips

# Hold on to me tightly, I'm a sliding scale

# Can't endure, then you can't inhale clearly

# Out-of-body experience interferes

# And dreams of flying I fit nearly

# Surrounds me, though I get lonely slowly... #

Somebody, pinch me.

Well, who's this handsome stag?

Erm...

Hi, Terry.

I'm Dr Gardner.

Mrs Beach... The other doctor had to go to a meeting.

So you've got me.

-How are you feeling?

-Like a million dollars.

-So when can I get out of here?

-Oh, not for a bit.

You had a seizure.

Seizure schmeizure.

You ever wondered what it's like to fly?

Not lately.

It's beautiful.

For a few seconds you are up there and nothing can touch you.

Nothing.

Sounds lovely.

Hey...

-How you doing?

-I am rocking it, Lionel.

The dream lives on, man.

Er...maybe not quite.

Terry's going to be out of action for a while, I'm afraid.

-How long are we talking?

-A few weeks, maybe longer.

We'll know more once he's had a CT scan.

No, you don't understand. You see, I have to get out of here.

Tell her, Lionel! I'm the Icarus Kid!

HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

Terry... Terry, relax.

OK, going up...

You see, what I'm thinking is, we need a vantage point.

All I can see are the spots in front of my eyes.

-PHONE RINGS

-Sorry.

-Don't answer it.

-Chill, man.

Oh...I don't recognise the number.

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

What if it's Charlie calling from a phone box?

No!

We know something's wrong, so don't even think about lying,

cos I will hear it in your voice.

You don't recognise the number of the hospital you've worked at

for nearly ten years?

Hey, Louise.

How is the bride-to-be?

Yeah, OK, you can tell her.

Er, yeah, erm...

There has been a slight hitch.

Oh, no, no. Nothing we can't fix.

-We've lost Charlie.

-'What?! How could you lose Charlie?!'

Leslie, Leslie, Leslie...

Lost him how?

Seems he's disappeared without any of them noticing

and they're all off looking for him.

Uh-oh... For Duffy, read huffy!

Well, they've got two hours.

Oh, Iain... Have you spoken to your sister?

I thought you would've learned your lesson.

-My business is my business.

-Maybe you should try.

Explain to her that I made a mistake.

Like that's going to wash.

Hey...

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

I was thinking, we can wait until he's better.

Weeks, months, I don't care. The main thing is...

Lionel, Terry's probably not going to be performing any more stunts.

Oh, he will.

He's had tons of accidents and he's walked away from them all.

He hasn't told you, has he?

Told me what?

-TATTOO NEEDLE WHIRS

-They'd been to a club. Drunk.

-Oh...!

-Go on.

They came back again today.

One of them had a briefcase.

-Locked to his wrist?

-Yeah.

So they're looking for the key.

They're looking for the girl.

Oh...

Charlie wouldn't still be here, would he?

PHONE BEEPS Who is it?

Erm...it's Alicia.

"You've lost Charlie? Is everything OK?"

OK, it's fine. Er...

"A-OK."

Do I put kisses?

What?

I don't know. I mean...there's more kisses than words nowadays.

No kisses. All right?

And no text. Not until we figure out what's happened to Charlie.

I'm not exactly too sure this is...me.

Just relax, you're about to be my last ever lap dance.

All the same, I think I'd rather if we just...

Talked?

Yeah.

Sure.

Pick a topic.

Right...

Oh, so you're quitting?

You're quitting this...?

I had a guy in here, coked up to his eyeballs.

Left a present behind. My ship came in.

Yeah?

Me, too.

I'm getting married.

Three decades ago, I should have said

what I should have said

when I did say what I should have said.

You know what?

She said yes.

You know, there's a theory that two people who are perfectly matched

are attached by an invisible thread.

-I could believe that.

-Nothing can break it.

And it stretches all around the world, if it has to.

That's us. That's exactly us.

I'm going to use that...

in my speech.

PHONE RINGS

Yeah?

What?

When is he getting here?

OK, let me think. I'll call you back.

-Everything all right?

-Charlie...

Hello!

-Are you, er... Are you done yet?

-No.

-We didn't...

-Well, it's just that... Ethan is demanding to get a tattoo.

So...I reckon we should bounce.

-You don't mind?

-Of course not!

-Listen, make sure you have a proper dance with your bride.

-Yeah.

That's a promise.

Hey...

Sorry to interrupt.

-Where are you from?

-Holby.

When do you go back?

-HE CHUCKLES

-Er...tomorrow.

Why?

Meet me first thing.

-What are you doing?

-I'll come to where you're staying.

I'll have the key with me, so don't think about running off.

And then I'm taking a ride with you, OK?

Dylan, we were in a club last night

and, er...there was a dancer called Candy.

Er...we think Charlie might be with her.

No, no. Not in the Biblical sense.

Yeah. We have an address and we're going to go there now.

So we'll text it to you and Max.

All right. Great.

MONITOR BEEPS

Tel...

Lionel...

..I'm ill, mate.

Erm...Terry's trauma CT

included his head and chest.

Terry has lung cancer, which has spread to his brain.

That's what caused the seizure.

We've given him a drug called dexamethasone

to reduce the swelling.

How long have you known?

I called you the day after I got the news.

I mean, I didn't know about the old brain, mate.

I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather call.

Are you...?

Are you dying?

I just wanted to fly again.

Just to go where nothing can touch you.

Hello?

Ethan!

-She's tachycardic.

-OK.

-Er...

Cal!

There's a great big piece of chair in her arm.

You brought my briefcase. I know a good man when I see one.

-Never mind that right now.

-There's a key, just get me out of here.

-Is that it?

-Yeah.

I'll call 999.

No! No hospitals.

You need urgent medical attention.

Oh, come on, please, I'm fine. We need to go. All of us. Now.

There's a man. He's looking for you.

You really don't want him finding you.

-Where's Charlie?

-How would I know?

You need to have this removed under supervised medical conditions.

She just said she doesn't want that.

Well, she can't go around with it in her arm, can she?

-You're the expert.

-No, that's not what I'm saying.

That's all you ever say.

You pretend you're all nerves and shyness,

but really you can't stop yelling about how smart you are.

-I'd really like to get moving.

-OK.

If you've got something to say, if I've done something wrong,

-then man up and say it!

-What could I possibly have to be angry about?

-Come on, tell me!

-I don't have time for this!

Argh!

-Ah...!

-We need to stem the flow.

Apply more pressure.

Oh...it's lucky I retired.

If you want to retire, I should be able to help you with that.

I believe that's mine.

All right...

here it is.

Urgh!

Argh!

Nobody touches my brother!

Be more Cal, hey?

Yeah. This looks about par for the course.

But still no Charlie.

All right, open them.

Ta-da!

It's your hen night. Just, you know, during the day.

-But where did you get all of this?

-We have our ways and means.

-But you've got to pretend this is alcohol, though.

-Of course!

Oh, great! You've got her distracted.

Distracted? Why would I need to be distracted?

I remember faces.

All of yours are imprinted in my brain.

I'll see you again.

Yeah, well, this isn't actually my face, so...

I hired it.

That's right. It's Dr Knight

and I really would like to get this young lady to a hospital.

Yes, I'm a doctor, as well, and I can definitely vouch for that.

I'm sure she'll give a full statement in due course.

-Your name is?

-It's Dylan Keogh.

That's Kilo, Echo, Oscar, Golf, Hotel.

-You're Dylan Keogh?

-Yeah.

Are you sure, sir?

Why did we stop, eh?

-People weren't interested.

-Yeah, but you and me, that's what made us.

We're not fit for normal purpose.

Which is why you're getting back into that cannon.

-I've put on weight.

-I'll make some adjustments.

You're heading into the sky, I promise you.

-Guys, what the hell?

-Terry, you really need to be in a bed.

-I can't just lie there, that's not me.

-Terry, please!

You're talking to the Icarus Kid. And I've got a fuse to light.

HE COUGHS

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Terry!

-Can we get a trolley, please?

-No, Tel! No!

Oh, my...

You gave them my name. Why did you do that?

Imagine if Duffy found out about this.

Well, I've got a criminal record now, apparently.

Well...

drunkenness...

resisting arrest.

It's nothing, really.

Yeah, and impersonating a doctor.

I'm sure that's an offence, isn't it?

And all of these things go on record.

The next time there's trouble,

it's muggins they'll come looking for first.

By the way, I still haven't had my one phone call.

Charlie...

What is that?

He's not lost.

He just doesn't want to be found.

And I don't blame him.

He's been alone for a long time.

A person gets used to that.

4mg of lorazepam, please.

HE RASPS

Actually, forget the lorazepam. He's not supporting his airway.

I'll intubate him.

Jacob, RSI drugs, please.

Nurse... Thank you.

HE RASPS

That's right, lap it up.

You'll see I belong here.

Cricoid on.

Tube, please.

Sats?

94%.

-Dr Gardner?

-Oh, just a second.

Go back to bagging.

-Dr Gardner, step aside.

-No.

-Excuse me?

-This is my ED.

Oxygen's at 92%.

Inflate the cuff. Tube position fine. Cricoid off.

Are you still watching?

It's half one. We'll never make it.

Yeah, well, if I was sober enough, I'd drive. Don't worry about that.

Maybe Dervla could put her paw to the metal, eh?

Relax, we'll just blame Dylan.

Gentlemen...

can I suggest that you buckle up?

Oooh!

MOTORHEAD PLAYS

TYRES SCREECH

# I don't share your greed

# The only card I need is the ace of spades... #

PHONE DINGS

Duffy!

Duffy! Duffy, he called!

Come here.

Thank you. Erm...?

Candy.

Candy.

I'm Leslie.

Well, Leslie...once I've been dropped off and got myself sorted,

I might give you a call.

Well, erm...

you can look me up at Holby City Hospital. I practically live there.

Then wait for my call, handsome.

How are you feeling?

Yeah, well...

I was thinking, er...maybe I should get a tattoo.

"Be more Ethan."

Yeah.

You were seriously impressive back there.

Yeah, well.

Then I'd have to get another one that said, "Be even more Cal"

and you'd have to get one that said, "Be even more Ethan" and I'd...

Just stop talking.

-OK?

-Yeah.

Come here.

I swear I told him to write Duffy.

You airhead, Mr Fairhead.

It's fashionable to be late.

For the bride, not the groom.

DOOR CLATTERS

-Where's Alicia?

-Resus emergency.

Smile, you got us here.

Well, given that I've got at least 12 points on my licence

and a fresh criminal record,

I'd say it's been a pretty staggeringly unsuccessful stag,

from my point of view.

Move it, Charles. It's time.

What took you so long?

I don't know what you're talking about.

It's only been 30 years.

-Are you ready to proceed?

-I would say so.

Erm...I've added a few things.

-That's your prerogative.

-What things?

Well, if you'd called me back, you'd know all about it.

Noel...

you've got wool in your hair.

Noel?

I, Charles Fairhead...

I, Charles Fairhead...

..take you, Lisa Duffin...

..take you, Duffy...

It's Lisa.

No. Duffy.

Which is it to be?

Duffy.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Then let's proceed.

..to have and to hold...

..to have and to hold, from this day forward...

..for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer...

But no sickness because we're nurses.

We're nurses.

..all the days of my life.

This is my solemn vow.

And this is who I am and this is where I want to be.

-With you.

-At long last.

Wonderful.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

I beat you to it, Charlie boy!

Oh!

APPLAUSE

Here...

This one's for you, Tel.

RECORDING OF A SUDDEN BANG

Yay!

Terry!

Ha-ha-ha!

Icarus Kid

Whoa!

Ha-ha-haaaa!

DISCO MUSIC

I'm glad he wasn't on the stag do.

-Iain...do you have a moment?

-Not really.

Here...

Read.

A visiting order?

You can go and see Gem.

Hang on a minute, she hates me. How did you arrange this?

I have my ways.

Wow...

Thanks.

How could you lot let me give Candy the wrong name?

You never saw the way she looked at me. She could have been the one.

-Well, maybe she'll drop by Holby some time.

-Yeah, and ask for Leslie!

Hey...

I missed the main event, so...

you're going to have to make up for it by taking your trousers off.

-I beg your pardon?

-I want to see it.

Oh...you heard about that.

-Please...

-No!

-Why?

-Why do you think?

You know what always happens at weddings?

People get really romantic. The next thing you know...

Cal, what the hell are you doing?!

I, er...blame all the love in the air.

If this wasn't Charlie's wedding, I'd knock your perfect teeth out.

I'm just having some fun.

Good. Well, I hope it was worth it. But if you come near me again,

I'll show why you should never upset a Geordie.

SLOT MACHINE PLAYS A JUNGLE

COINS RATTLE

I won! I never win anything! Whoo!

Oi, oi!

Drinks are on this lucky lady!

Well, that's got to be a good thing. Your luck's changing.

Barman...

Hi! They can have whatever they want.

-I'm going to pop outside.

-All right.

Well, where do you start? What do you lot want? Boys! Girls!

Connie...in case you didn't get it earlier.

I'm coming out fighting. So watch this space.

Well, today may have gone well,

but what worries me is that, in the heat of the moment,

you lose your head. You're not in control, are you?

And from the moment you arrived,

you've been chaotic and undisciplined.

Only the hours spent masquerading as a consultant have saved you.

-I can assure you...

-You can assure me of nothing.

Because in the ten years you've been away, things have moved on

and you, Dr Gardner, most certainly haven't.

That...is your true failing.

Doctors like you eventually cost patients their lives.

So, by all means, enjoy the evening,

but come the tribunal... you're finished.

For the happy couple.

You're beautiful.

You're not so bad yourself.

-Ouch...

-Sorry. Did you get hurt?

-No, it's nothing.

-Well, do you want me to take a look?

Just be a good wife and dance with your husband.

Yes, sir.

Why would you do that to Alicia?

Well, you know...

Sometimes you can't help yourself.

So are you saying you don't want to be more like me now?

Because...tattoo removal really hurts.

That's the thing.

Whatever you do, however insane...

..I still look at you and think...

.."Yeah, that's my brother."

And you've got me for life, Nibbles.

Do you want to risk alcohol poisoning?

I thought you'd never ask.

Come on.

Oh, I almost forgot.

What?

It's nothing.

Tell me.

You sure?

There's nothing that you can hide from me.

Good. In that case...

..it's been worth the wait.

Oh!