Time Heist Doctor Who

The Satanic Nebula!

Or...the lagoon of lost stars...

or we could go...

to Brighton!

I've got a whole day worked out.

Sorry, but as you can see, I've got plans.

Have you?

Look at me.

Yeah, OK.

No, no, no. No.

Look at me.

Yep, looking.

Seriously?

Why is your face all coloured in?

7.15. Meeting me.

You are.

Date.

Second one.

Got the words out.

Not in the right order, but, hey... maths teacher!

BOTH: Out!

Are you taller?

Heels.

What, do you have to reach a high shelf?

Right, got to go. Going to be late.

-For a shelf?

-Bye!

PHONE RINGS

There you go, you've got another playmate.

Hardly anyone in the universe has that number.

Well, I'VE got it.

Yes, from some woman in a shop.

We STILL don't know who that was.

Is that her now?

There are very few people that it could be.

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

-Don't.

-Why not?

-Because, if you answer it, something will happen.

-What?

-A thing.

-It's just a phone, Clara.

Nothing happens when you answer the phone.

HE SCREAMS

CLARA SCREAMS

-Doctor?

-Don't touch it!

-Where are we? How did we get here?

Who are you? Sorry, what's going on? I don't understand.

-What is that thing?

-It's a memory worm.

-What happened to your face?

-Deletes your memories.

-Did you see her face?

-How did I get here?

The same way we all did, but we've all forgotten.

And who are you?

-OVER TANNOY:

-'I am the Doctor, a Time Lord from Gallifrey.

'I have agreed to this memory wipe of my own free will.

'I am Clara Oswald, human.

'I have agreed to this memory wipe of my own free will.

'Do I really have to touch that worm thing?

'Yes, you do. And change your shoes.

'You're next, Psi.

'I am Psi - augmented human.

'I have agreed to this...memory wipe of my own free will.

'I am Saibra - mutant human.

'I have agreed to this memory wipe of my own free will.'

BEEP

WHIRRING

'This is a recorded message.

'I am the Architect.

'Your last memory is of receiving a contact from an unknown agency - me.

'Everything since has been erased from your minds.

'Now, pay close attention to this briefing.

'This is the Bank of Karabraxos -

'the most secure bank in the galaxy.

'A fortress for the super-rich.

'If you can afford your own star system, this is where you keep it.

'No-one sets foot on the planet without protocols.

'All movement is monitored, all air consumption regulated.

'DNA is authenticated at every stage.

'Intruders will be incinerated.

'Each vault, buried deep in the earth,

is accessed by a drop-slot at the planet's surface.

'It's atomically sealed -

'an unbreakable lock. The atoms have all been scrambled.

'Your presence on this planet is unauthorised.

'A team will have been despatched to terminate you.'

This is bank security! Open up!

'Your survival depends on following my instructions.'

Open up and you shall be humanely disposed of.

There's another exit!

'All the information you need is in this case.'

-What are you doing?

-Downloading.

Ah. Augmented - nice.

'The Bank of Karabraxos is impregnable.'

Please stand away from the door!

We do not wish to hurt you before incineration.

'The Bank of Karabraxos has never been breached.

'You will rob the Bank of Karabraxos.'

Report.

'Sorry, hello? Who is this?'

This is Ms Delphox - Head of Bank Security.

I sent you to investigate an off-world intruder.

'Did you? I was wondering what we're doing here.'

We found these amazing worms...

WORM SQUEAKS

SHE EXHALES

Unwelcome guests. We're going to need the Teller.

LOW GROWLING

Are you hungry, boy?

OK, OK, OK. Stop, stop, stop. Far enough.

Augmented human. Computer-augmented, yes?

-Mainframe in your head?

-I'm a gamer. Sorry, who put YOU in charge?

You're a liar. That's a prison code on your neck.

I'm a hacker...slash bank robber.

Good. This is a good day to be a bank robber.

Mutant human. What kind of mutant?

Like he says, why are YOU in charge now?

It's my special power - what's yours?

I touch living cells - I can replicate the owner.

-Your face, when we first saw you...

-I touched the worm.

-You can replicate their clothes too?

-I wear a hologram shell.

Human cells. DNA from a customer, maybe?

A disguise to get us in?

We're actually going to do it? Rob the bank?

I don't think we have a choice - we've already agreed to.

How long can you maintain the image for?

For as long as I like.

Question one - robbing banks is easy if you've got a TARDIS.

-So why am I not using it?

-Question two, where IS the TARDIS?

OK, that probably should be question one.

ALARM BLARES

'Banking floor locking down.'

They know we're here.

'Banking floor locking down.'

HEAVY FOOTSTEPS

What is that?

I don't know. Hate not knowing.

Excuse me, sir.

I regret to say that your guilt has been detected.

What? That... that's totally ridiculous.

Is it, sir? Well, then, we will certainly double-check.

The Teller will now scan your thoughts for any criminal intent.

Good luck, sir.

HIGH-PITCHED TONE

-Interesting.

-What is?

The latest thing in sniffer dogs.

Telepathic - it hunts guilt.

What about OUR guilt?

Currently being drowned out.

MAN GROANS

What's he doing?

If he has a plan, he's trying NOT to think of it.

Ever tried not thinking about something?

-No.

-You may have to.

MAN GROANS

Ah, criminal intent detected.

How naughty. What was your plan?

Counterfeit currency in your briefcase, perhaps?

No, not at all, for God's sake.

It doesn't really matter,

we'll establish the details later.

The Teller is never wrong

when it comes to guilt.

Your account will now be deleted,

and obviously your mind.

Suppertime!

PIERCING WHINE

HE GROANS

Wiping his mind - turning his brain into soup.

Your next of kin will be informed,

and incarcerated,

as further inducement to honest financial transactions.

HE SCREAMS

We've got to help him.

He's gone already, it's over.

He's in agony, look at him.

Those aren't tears, Clara. That's soup.

WHINE STOPS

Account closed.

Take him away. He's ready for his close-up.

Apologies for the disturbance.

Everyone have a lovely day.

'Deposit booth locking. Please exhale.

'Your valuables will be transported up from the vault.'

BEEP

If he can break in here and plant this thing,

-then why does he need our help?

-Depends what the thing is.

OK, well, I'm no expert, but...fuses,

timer, I'm going to stick my neck out and say "bomb".

Bank schematic...now.

BEEPING

So, the man we captured on the banking floor wasn't the target.

Four visitors just entered a safety-deposit box.

The greatest bank in the galaxy.

Our reputation must remain secure.

The Director will blame us. We'll be fired...

..fired with pain.

The floor below is all service corridors -

the veins and arteries of the bank.

BEEPING

-He wants us to blow through the floor.

-We'll die if we do that.

Well, not necessarily - there must be a plan.

What if the plan is, we're blowing up the floor for someone else?

What if we're not supposed to make it out alive?

Oh, don't be so...pessimistic -

-it'll affect team morale.

-What, and getting us blown up won't?

Well, only very, very briefly.

Er, no, no way! Do you what you like. I'm going to take my chances

-out there.

-Psi!

-No, no, no, this guy - your mate - is a lunatic!

What do you want, Psi - more than anything else?

Whatever it is, it's in this bank.

You agreed to rob the most impregnable bank in history -

you must have had a very good reason.

We all must have.

Picture the thing you want most in the universe -

and decide how badly you want it.

Well?

Still don't understand why you're in charge.

Basically, it's the eyebrows.

BEEPING

PULSATING

RAPID BEEPING

BEEPING INTENSIFIES

BEEPING STOPS

Nice.

Dimensional shift bomb.

Sends the particles to a different plane.

Come on, then -

Team Not Dead!

Open up!

Well, so, what are we supposed to do now?

-What's the plan?

-I don't know. The Architect set all this up,

it should make sense.

My personal plan is that a thing will probably happen quite soon.

-So that's it. That's your plan?

-Yep.

-A thing will happen?

A thing...probably.

Hey, Psi!

Doctor!

There you go! Thing time!

How does he get the cases here?

By breaking into the bank in advance of breaking into the bank.

How did he do that? And if he CAN do that, why does he need us?

Not our problem.

What IS our prob-prob-prob-prob...?

-You OK?

-Drive glitch, it's fine.

Guilt is our problem. Guilt, in this bank, is fatal.

The Teller can hear it.

Ever since that first case was opened, we've been targets.

The more we know about why we're here,

the louder our guilt screams.

That's why we wiped our memories - for our own safety.

Now, once I open this, I can't close it again.

Would it be safer if only one of us learned it?

I'm waiting for you to volunteer.

-Er, why me?

-Because you didn't need that memory worm, did you?

You're half-computer, you can perform a manual delete.

You CAN clear your thoughts.

OK.

BUTTON BEEPS

I don't know what it is. You may as well have a look.

Well, what are they?

-Not a clue.

-Hmm, interesting.

What is?

-You're lying.

-Er, why would he be lyi-lyi-lyi-lying?

Ugh! Sorry. Stress. Drains the batteries.

-Interface with this.

-Do we have time for this?

Why not? There's no immediate threat.

ALARM BLARES 'Warning. Intruders detected.'

I should stop saying things like that.

-'Intruders detected.'

-Clara, stay with Psi. Saibra...

let's go and investigate.

'Intru...'

BEEPING AND WHIRRING

Oh-h!

Storm dust.

You can delete your memories?

Yeah, it's not as fun as it sounds.

I've got a few I wish I could lose.

And I've lost a few I wish I hadn't.

No, I was...I was interrogated in prison.

And I guess I panicked.

I didn't want to be a risk to the people close to me, so...

You deleted your friends?

My friends, anyone who ever helped me, my family.

-Your family?

-Of course, my family.

How could you do that?

Well, I don't know.

HE SIGHS

I suppose I must have loved them.

Aren't you going to ask me?

Why did you lie? Those things, you know what they are.

Exit strategy, of sorts.

How did you know I was lying?

I've had a lot of faces, I find them easy to read.

-Quite a gift.

-Gift?!

-Got us in here.

-Mutant gene. No-one can touch me.

If they do, I transform.

Touch me, Doctor, and you'll be looking at yourself.

I am alone!

-Why?

-Could you trust someone

who looked back at you out of your own eyes?

MUFFLED GROAN

GROANING CONTINUES

RUNNING FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Oh, my God.

-Why is he even still alive?

-I don't know.

But someone is watching.

Doctor.

However this goes, whatever happens...

..don't let me end up like that.

ALARM BLARES 'Intruders on the service level.

'Intruders on the service level.'

Now, this says, "Place to hide."

Where are we?

HISSING

Nobody move. Nobody say a word.

It's cocooned.

Forced hibernation.

Its power is probably dormant.

SHOUTING OUTSIDE

Clara! It's locked on to you.

-It may still be asleep, don't wake it.

-OK.

How do I not do that?

Keep your mind blank.

Block everything.

Once it locks onto your thoughts, it won't let go.

LOW GROWLING

HIGH-PITCHED WHINE

It's waking up.

Keep blocking your thoughts, Clara.

Don't think.

ROARING

This way!

Oh!

-Saibra!

-She's still in there. How do we get her out?

-It's scanning her brain.

-Then what?!

-Soup!

-Then help her!

SHE WINCES

Saibra!

What should I do? How can I get away?

It's rooting through your brain.

It's tasting all the secrets stashed inside.

Any moment now, it will finish its sweep

and start feasting on what's left.

And then I become one of those things we saw, sitting in a cage!

-Yes.

-Can you not get me out?

I'm sorry. I don't know how, once it's locked onto your thoughts.

Exit strategy.

That means what I think it means, right?

-Atomic shredder.

-Painless?

And instant.

When you meet the Architect, promise me something.

Kill him.

I hate him, but I can't make that promise.

A good man... I left it late to meet one of those.

SHE SCREAMS

GROWLING

ROARING

Right, vault, that's clear.

What's not clear is what we do now.

-You OK?

-No, I'm an amnesiac robbing a bank, why would I be OK?

-Because Saibra...

-What? Saibra is dead, we are alive -

prioritise if you want to stay that way.

Oh, is THAT why you call yourself the Doctor -

the professional detachment?

Listen, when we're done here, by all means,

you go and find yourself a shoulder to cry on.

You'll probably need that. Till then, what you need is me!

Underneath it all, he isn't really like that.

It's very obvious that you've been with him for a while.

Why?

Because you are really good at the excuses.

Another gift from the Architect. Shall we unwrap it?

The unbreakable bank.

We must locate them. And Director Karabraxos must not know.

When people get fired here...

it's messy.

Release the Teller into the tunnels.

HE WINCES

Right, the system looks like it's time-delayed.

-There are 24 lock codes I need to break.

-GROWLING

Doctor...it's coming. We're trapped.

-Psi, how long?

-As long as it takes.

It's locked on to one of our thought trails.

We have to split up, minimise the brain signals.

What happened to your professional detachment, Doctor?

-No, no!

-In case it finds me. It's my choice.

You don't use that, OK? Promise me.

Time to run.

Separate!

HEAVY FOOTSTEPS

BEEPING

'Vault box opening.

'Vault box opening.

'24, 23, 22, 21,

'20, 19, 18, 17...'

SHE PANTS

HEAVY FOOTSTEPS

GROWLING

Keep your mind clear, Clara.

Keep your mind blank.

ROARING

-Aggh!

-Clara!

BEEPING

Come on!

Come and find me.

Every thief and villain in one big cocktail. I am so guilty!

Every famous burglar in history is hiding in this bank right now

in one body!

Go and feast!

Clara!

For what it's worth - and it might not be worth much -

when your whole life flashes in front of you,

you see people you love...

and people missing you...

Well, I see no-one.

HIGH-PITCHED WHINE

HE SCREAMS

'Three, two, one...

'Failed. Vault unlocking. Failed.'

SHE GRUNTS

It's not opening!

Psi...

..he died for nothing.

-SONIC SCREWDRIVER BUZZES

-Multiple locks.

Last one still in place.

Atomic seal. Unbreakable.

Even for me.

The Architect would know that.

He wouldn't bring us all this way for nothing.

And get two people killed.

Exactly.

There must be some logic.

Some logic?

Come on, Architect! What else have you got?

THUNDER RUMBLES

Report, please. What was the disturbance?

Solar storm. Getting worse.

Interfering with our systems.

A storm...

BEEPING

The storm's tripping the system.

That's what he's got - a storm!

How would he know WHEN a storm would hit?

HE LAUGHS

Of course!

Stupid, stupid Doctor.

-Of course, of course!

-Of course, what?

Whoever planned all this, they're in the future.

This isn't just a bank heist...

..it's a time-travel heist.

We've been sent back in time

to the exact moment of the storm,

to be in exactly the right place when it hits,

because that's the only time the bank is vulnerable!

CLUNKING

'Vault unlocked.'

The bank is now open!

'Vault unlocked.'

It explains why we're not hearing the TARDIS.

-Sorry, what?

-The solar disruption

would have made navigation impossible.

The one time the bank is vulnerable is the one time we can't just land.

Doctor...the code!

The code that was in the last case. Look.

-Tech.

-Technology.

251. Find it.

Tech.

It's a neophyte circuit.

I've only ever seen one once before.

It can reboot any system. Replace any lost data.

Psi...

..that's what he came for - his reward.

So what did Saibra come for?

Gene suppressant.

-She wanted to be normal.

-Everyone has a weakness.

So the big question is this - what did we come for?

-PV...

-Private vault.

Karabraxos's own fortune?

GROWLING

Intruders are most welcome.

They remind us that the bank is impregnable.

It's good for morale to have a few of you scattered about the place,

preferably on view.

Are you ready for YOUR close-up?

If you're thinking of ways to escape,

the Teller will know before you've even made a move.

You'll never be bothered by all that thinking again.

Useful species.

Last of its kind, and we've signed an exclusive deal.

Must be noisy inside its head.

Painful to listen to so much chatter,

so many secrets...

Must drive it wild.

How can you force it to obey?

Oh, everything has a price tag, I think you'll find.

THUNDER CRASHES

The storm's getting worse.

Customers are leaving. Director Karabraxos will soon be...

concerned. Our jobs will be on the line.

You're scared.

Oh, I'm terrified.

I have the disadvantage of knowing Karabraxos personally.

If you don't like your boss, why stay?

My face fits.

Now...if you'll excuse me, I must take the Teller to its hibernation.

You two, dispose of our guests.

Don't do this. I'm having a very bad day,

-and I do not want to be pushed around.

-You're wrong.

Wrong?

It's not that bad a day.

And you're being very slow.

Why are you undoing my handcuffs?

Saibra?

It LOOKED like death.

-It was actually a teleporter.

-Oh, my God!

Good, eh? You think we're dead, so the Teller thinks we're dead,

and we play the creature at his own mind games.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!

What? Sorry, sorry, what?

You, you, you're...you're alive?

Yeah, we're alive. Look at us, we're all alive.

No, no, no, no. Not dead.

-Alive.

-There's an escape ship in orbit.

Takes you right there.

Oh, and there's this big blue box - is that yours?

Well, this is good...

I suppose...

You'll be able to resume the mission.

Gene suppressant - antidote for your condition.

Memory giver.

All your yesterdays.

There you go. Job done, paid in full.

-Clever old Architect.

-Very clever.

-I still hate him.

-Me too.

-How were you paid?

-I don't know.

There's something in the private vault.

-What's that?

-Supply line.

It's the only oxygen down to the private vault.

There's another one for water

-for basic life support.

-What, for a private vault?

Someone likes to hang out with their wealth.

MUSIC PLAYS: Overture To The Abduction From The Seraglio

Director Karabraxos?

Excuse us, but we've come to rob you.

So if you want to put your hands above your head, or...

Or?

You didn't bring any weapons.

That's a bit of an oversight.

Security, Karabraxos here.

-You're Karabraxos?

-One moment.

-Director Karabraxos,

is there a problem?

Intruders in the private vault.

Send me the Teller.

I want to find out how they got in,

and then I want to wipe their memories.

She's a clone.

It's the only way to control my own security.

I have a clone in every facility.

-Get on it right away.

-Yes, of course.

And then hand in your credentials. You're fired, with immediate effect.

But, please, I've been in your service...

Ever since the last one let me down and I was forced to kill it.

I can't quite believe that you're putting me through this again.

My clone. And yet she doesn't even protest.

Pale imitation, really.

- I should sue! - You're killing her?

- You just said... - Fired?

I put all of the used clones into the incinerator.

Can't have to many of moi scattered around.

Sorry, you don't get on with your own clone?

She hates her own clones,

she burns her own clones.

Frankly, you're a career break for the right therapist.

Shut up. Everybody, just...just shut up!

And what is this display now, as amusing as you are?

Shut up! Just shut up, shut up, shut up, shutetty up up up!

What...what did you say?

What did...you say?

What did you say... about your own eyes?

De-shut up, say it again.

How can you trust someone

if they look back at you out of your own eyes?

I know one thing about the Architect.

What is it that I know?

I know one thing, something I've known from the very start.

-What?

-I hate him.

He's overbearing, he's manipulative,

he likes to think that he's very clever. I HATE him.

Clara, don't you see?

I hate the Architect!

What in the name of sanity is going in this room now?

We're getting sanity judgment from the self-burner.

Do you mind if I borrow a little bit of paper?

And what are you doing now?

I'm giving you...

my telephone number.

Why?

Well,

I thought you might like to call me someday.

Sorry, I thought we were getting along famously -

am I, like, misreading the signals or something?

-THUNDER RUMBLES

-Oh, that was a big one, wasn't it?

I think that your bank is about to close for good, Karabraxos.

If I was you, I'd get going.

Don't mind us, we'll just stay here and burn.

ALARM BLARES

SCREAMING

Hard to know what to take.

The greatest treasures of the universe in just one suitcase.

THUNDER RUMBLES

Doctor, what's the plan? IS there a plan?

-We can use the shredders, get back to the ship.

-They're not shredders,

they're teleports, and that's not the most interesting thing

-about them.

-So what is?

-There were six of them.

-Hey.

Give me a call me some time.

'Doors opening.'

You'll be dead.

Yeah, you'll be old - we'll get on famously.

You'll be old and full of regret for the things that you can't change.

'Doors closing.'

-Doctor, what the hell is going on?

-Are you remembering?

No, not a thing.

-But I'm understanding.

-What is it? What are you understanding?

I'm not sure yet.

I need my memory back.

And I think there is only one way to do that...

Which would be?

-Soup.

-Soup? LIFT DINGS

GROWLING

Hello, big man.

-Peckish?

-Doctor!

No...no, let it take me.

Let it read me. It's the only way!

-It will kill you!

-What have I told you about pessimism?

Right, that's it...

There are so many memories in here.

Feast on them.

Tuck in.

Big scarf, bow tie, bit embarrassing.

What do you think of the new look?

I was hoping for minimalism,

but I think I came up with magician!

In the last few days, there's been a block.

Can you see the block?

Tell me why I'm here!

Show me why I'm here!

Show me!

-PHONE RINGS

-It's just a phone, Clara.

Nothing happens when you answer the phone.

Doctor?

Hello?

'You gave me this number. My name is Madame Karabraxos.'

I was once...the wealthiest person in the Universe.

'I need your assistance.'

I'm dying.

'With many, many regrets...'

but one...perhaps...

..you may be able to help me with.

It's a little detour.

It's a job, I've got to do it for someone. Come on.

-We need to rob a bank.

-What?

Clara, I need worms.

VWORP! VWORP!

The Bank of Karabraxos has never been breached.

Architect.

-DISTORTED:

-'Architect.'

Architect.

-DISTORTED:

-'Architect.'

Architect.

-DISTORTED:

-'Architect.'

You will rob the Bank of Karabraxos.

Did you see...

..why we came?

Why we're here?

We had to delete our own memories, otherwise you'd have known,

and then she'd have known. Because you're mentally linked.

But she's gone now. They've ALL gone.

They have no power over you now.

You can do exactly what you want to do now.

Exactly what you've always wanted to do.

It knows the combination!

Of course it does, it was linked to Karabraxos.

What exactly are we doing here? That thing killed people.

So might you do, to protect everything you loved.

WAILING

There she is.

Not the last of its species.

The last TWO.

It's OK, it's OK. It's all right.

Exit strategy. We've got six shredders.

Exactly!

This wasn't a bank heist - it never was.

It was rescue mission, for a whole species.

Flesh and blood - the last currency.

-THUNDER RUMBLES

-Time to go home.

What do you think of that, big man?

ROARING

So much mental traffic in the universe.

Solitude is the only peace.

Gioffre Borgia - mucho scary hombre - says to me,

"What do you think of our Leaning Tower of Pisa?"

I say, "It looks OK to me!"

If you ever need help with another bank heist...

Yeah, it's not really his area.

See? I don't have your face now!

-Yeah. I kind of miss that.

-Oh, shut up!

7.12, local time, as promised.

-Go and enjoy yourself. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

-It's a date!

I've just realised. I'm going out for another meal now!

Don't worry. Calories consumed on the TARDIS have no lasting effect.

What? Are you kidding?!

Of course I'm kidding. It's a time machine, not a miracle-worker!

-Bye!

-See you. Don't rob any banks.

-"Don't rob any banks" what?

Without me.

Course not, boss.

Robbing a bank! Robbing a whole bank!

Beat that for a date!

Are you OK?

Yeah, course I'm OK. Why wouldn't I be OK?

-I don't know. Every time I see you, it's like you're...

-What?

In a rush. In a state.

How's you? Sorry I'm late!

Who are you having dinner with?

I can't keep doing this. I can't do it.

The next few days are all about you. I promise.

I'm the new caretaker. John Smith.

Welcome to Cole Hill, Mr Smith.

Thanks.

Problem. Solution. Destroy.