The Beast in Me Doctors

# The beast in me

# Is caged by frail And fragile bars

# Restless by day and by night

# Rants and rages at the start

# God help the beast in me... #

POLICE SIREN WAILS

# The beast in me

# Has had to learn To live with pain... #

HE SHOUTS IN PAIN

# And how to shelter From the rain... #

Come on you. We'll get that seen to at the station.

You had enough already?

No, I'm at the station, just had to sign some prescriptions.

Do you fancy a pint tonight?

Nah, best not, I'm going to get a run in before...

Ah, yeah! That's exactly what your broken body needs right now?

-Mind over matter.

-Remember what we talked about?

No, not a clue.

We talked about you stopping being so boring and getting a life.

Maybe I'm happy being boring.

You can't run forever, Forest!

What's that?

This is the final piece to this year's Christmas colour scheme.

When did Christmas have a colour scheme other than red and green?

It always has in our house.

Every year I chose a colour and a theme

and then I pick the decorations to fit around them.

-You buy new decorations every year?

-Of course.

You don't drag the old ones out and throw them at the Christmas tree?

No. I love Christmas too much for that.

This year it's "White Christmas".

Silver!

Oh!

Oh! But I've bought white doves...

and white paper chains!

Silver will brighten things up.

No, I was going for a more classy, sophisticated look,

like Frank Sinatra "White Christmas". Not silver!

-What's wrong with silver?

-It's tacky.

I've just bought a silver Christmas tree, Imogen said it was cool.

And she's at art school.

-Bit early for presents?

-Christmas decorations.

Oh, lovely.

Silver isn't posh enough apparently.

Hey, Kev. How was your mum?

Right. I'm going to sort this out.

On what planet did they think silver was white?

HE COUGHS

Here we are, Doc, this is John Doe.

Apparently.

-It's OK, you can leave us.

-Sure?

-Yeah.

I just need to take a look at you.

HE COUGHS BREATHLESSLY

No rush.

HE COUGHS

-That chest doesn't sound too good.

-It's fine.

-When was the last time you saw a doctor?

-No point.

Well, at least let me take a look at your hand.

You're definitely going to need stitches,

we'd better make an arrangement for you to go to A&E.

I'm not allowed to let you bleed to death.

OK.

How about I put some steri strips on it for now?

We can think about what happens next

after we've stopped you bleeding over everything.

I've called every company this side of the hemisphere

and there's not a set of white words anywhere. What am I supposed to do?

-Alert the United Nations.

-They look fine.

-They won't look right.

-Nah, of course not.

I've got this centrepiece that I've made for above the fireplace,

and if I can't find any white words, it'll ruin everything.

It sounds amazing.

It is.

I've got this set of little white doves to hold the letters in place.

-Not real ones?

-Wouldn't surprise me.

-They're beautiful.

-You must really love Christmas.

I do, it's my favourite time of the year

and we always have such an amazing time.

-You do.

-What do you mean I do?

-We have perfect Christmases.

-Not if you're a kid.

You loved Christmas!

I'd have loved it more if I was allowed to eat normal food,

instead of posh unpronounceable stuff,

or if my presents were wrapped in real wrapping paper with Santa Clauses on.

You never brought proper tins of chocolates,

we always had to have truffles.

I wasn't even allowed to put up the decorations.

You always helped, you still do!

I hold the odd bauble while you hang it on the tree.

I remember one year, I made you a Father Christmas tree decoration

and you hung it in your en-suite.

It was very Christmassy in there.

I just wanted the sort of Christmas all my friends were having,

you know, fun.

We had lots of fun! It was party after party.

Yeah, for the adults.

You and your mates got ratted on Bolly

and played spin the bottle and I was sent to bed early.

Fun times!

Right. Well, I have a patient.

HE COUGHS

You are one lucky man, the old lady doesn't want to press charges.

-But can I go now?

-Doctor Clay wants you to be seen at A&E first.

The doc's sorted me and I want out of here.

OK, fine, I'll let you go...

When you tell me your real name.

Mum!

I see you're busy as usual.

-I'm sorry.

-What for, being an ungrateful little sod?

Yeah.

OK.

You know, some bits of Christmas were all right.

Which bits?

I quite liked the Perry Como Night Before Christmas song.

Was that it?

Mum, I was a kid,

I just wanted Christmas to be...

I don't know. I just never felt part of it all.

But you WERE part of it!

No, as a kid I was just part of the decor

that had to keep clean and quiet.

-We never played any games.

-You had board games.

-Which you never played with me.

-Your dad played with you.

He set up that Ghostbuster castle thing, took him all day!

Yeah, Dad was great.

But you were too busy sipping sherry and getting ready for the party.

That's telling me.

Where's John Doe?

Well, there were no charges, we had to let him go.

-I was going to refer him to A&E.

-Waste of time.

Those strips aren't going to hold forever.

I'm sorry, you can talk to the custody sergeant,

but he was determined to get going,

desperate to disappear again, I guess.

His family reported him missing nine months ago.

He looks a lot older now.

That's what living rough does for you.

Of course!

His wife's a patient of mine, she's been in a right state.

Reckon they'd given him up for dead.

Shouldn't we send out a search party?

It's not against the law to go missing

and he's managed to stay out of sight this long.

Where would we start?

I'd best let his wife know he's been sighted though.

-I'll come.

-Why?

-Ah, don't get upset.

-Upset?

Why should I get upset?

When all the graft, all the hard work

and time spent trying to make Christmas perfect,

when actually I was creating a child's Christmas in hell?

Mum.

I just wanted this Christmas to be special.

-Will I have to identify him?

-Sorry?

Well, I'm assuming you found a body.

We arrested Mr Wingate this morning.

-Arrested? But...

-He's alive.

Alive?

-I'll get some water.

-Thanks.

-How do you feel?

-I'm fine.

-Do you feel faint?

-No, I'm just...

I don't know,

I suppose I wasn't expecting to hear those words.

It would be easier if you'd come to tell me he was dead.

At least that would make some sense.

Where did you find him?

We arrested him going through bins.

-Bins?

-The householder doesn't want to press charges.

So where is he now?

Your guess is as good as ours.

So you're here to tell me you found him

but that he's gone again.

I'm sorry. We thought you would want to know.

Did he ask after me?

Dr Clay spoke to him more than me.

Did he ask after his children?

No, I didn't think so.

Anyone who can just walk out, without even a goodbye,

without a word of explanation,

why should they suddenly show any concern for their family?

There were a few sightings near Bluebell Wood...

..so I used to go and sit there...

..for hours...

..but not a sign.

It is clear that he's been living rough somewhere.

He'd rather live out of bins than come home to me.

Why?

What did I do wrong?

You shouldn't blame yourself. People leave for all kinds of reasons,

-reasons of their own.

-I loved him.

I cared about him.

I thought we were happy.

I think you'd better go.

HE WINCES IN PAIN

KNOCK AT THE DOOR

There are no patients waiting

and you are seriously not going to avoid me a minute longer.

So, did you tell your mum about Nadia?

No, not after...

After what?

I always thought my dad left my mum because he was married,

because he had other responsibilities,

but it wasn't because he was married.

He left her because she was white.

If someone wants to disappear, it's not our job to haul them home.

Why are you so bothered?

Why do people run?

Just up and leave it all - their work, family, friends?

Maybe he had some kind of breakdown?

Either way, he made his choice.

I don't know how I got it into my head that my dad was married.

I don't know if it was something I made up

or something my mum told me just to keep me quiet.

It's ironic, isn't it? I've spent my entire life

getting grief for being the only brown kid in a white neighbourhood

and it turns out I'm just too white for my dad.

Did your mum say any more?

No, I couldn't, she was too upset.

So you don't know what pressures your dad was under?

Pressures? He was a racist!

He was young, you were illegitimate,

his family could have been on his case, white woman or not.

Talk to your mum.

Tell her you need to know the full story. She owes you that much.

My mum struggled all her life to bring me up properly!

She had everything against her. No help, no money.

I owe her everything!

I've got work to do.

-Hello!

-'Hi.'

Are you in a zoo?

Uh, no, I'm out running.

Again? Don't you think you should give yourself a break?

This is my break.

'Fair enough. Listen,'

could you pop in when you've got a minute?

-You missed signing one of your prescriptions.

-'Yeah, sure.'

Thank you. And I just wanted to say, anything rose-scented.

-Not lavender, lavender is for oldies.

-'Sorry?'

In case you're my Secret Santa.

I've got to go.

OK. Bye. Don't run yourself into the ground.

Yeah, bye.

No prizes for guessing that was Dr Clay.

Yeah, going for another run.

No wonder she left him.

HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF

Thank you. See you next week.

Oh, um...

I think that you should cut Jimmi some slack,

he's been through enough.

I'm quite up to speed on Jimboy's trials and tribulations.

So you know he's really struggling.

The best way to get over heartbreak is to get on with your life.

No!

BIRDS CAW

Dr Clay is, um...

-He's a delicate creature.

-A wuss.

-I didn't say that.

-So what's with the kid gloves?

He's trying really hard to hold things together,

which is difficult for him because he has other issues.

Of course he does. He needs to stop whining.

No, that's the last thing he does. He's a very private person.

If anything, he's keeping it all too buried.

Or he's just running away from it all?

Why are you so interested in Jimmi?

Is it to avoid the great big hole in your own miserable life?

Must be really boring on your own,

staring into empty beer glasses and greasy takeaways.

Ooh. Touche, Mrs Holins.

That really suited you, that did.

One...

two...

MUTTERING

Caspian?

Caspian.

Caspian, look at me.

-Oh! Are you all right?

-Christmas shopping!

-Oh.

Oh, um, I was reading somewhere

that they've found silver on the moon.

-Where did you read that?

-Um...

But they've also found silver in the sea

and it's that that draws the tide. Or something like that.

-Sounds magical.

-I think it makes silver a pretty class act.

And a good reason to have a silver Christmas tree.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, health centre. Can I help you?

I've been thinking.

You could meet up with Nadia.

Ask her some of the questions you want answering

without upsetting your mum.

You just don't know when to leave well alone, do you?

We need to get you out of here.

No.

This'll stop the bleeding till we get it seen to properly.

I'm not going anywhere.

You don't have a choice. You might have pneumonia.

HE COUGHS

So...

I'll let nature take its course.

Mate, you're not a flipping fox!

You can't just crawl off and lick your wounds better.

You'll need some serious medical attention to sort that chest out.

Ah!

Yeah, OK, it'll be slow and it'll be painful

and I wouldn't recommend it. Anyway, I didn't come all this way

-just for you to die on me now.

-Why did you come?

Good question.

I didn't ask you.

I don't need help

-(COUGHS)

-I don't need...anyone.

Mate, you know what? So far today,

I have wandered round for miles on an injured leg,

I've lost my phone,

I've had a massive panic attack in, I don't know, a wood somewhere

and now I'm completely lost.

You may not think that you need anyone, but they need you

and they need answers.

Hi there, Jimboy. Gobby Holins just told me

that you've got more issues than a ferret's got fleas

so if you want to join me for a pint later,

we could talk about them. I mean, I'd rather we didn't

but as long as I've got a pint in my hand, I won't mind

and if it means you'll stop being such a massive loser and get a life,

then it's a plan.

So give me a buzz, mate.

Oh, this is Al Haskey, by the way. Bye.

CASPIAN COUGHS AND WHEEZES

If you head straight in that direction...

..you'll find your way out of here.

No, I'm not leaving you.

I can't go back now.

HE COUGHS

What did you do?

I was a drunk.

Right.

It was...out of control.

I didn't want my family to know.

So you ran away.

They were better off without me.

Or was it the easy option?

It was the only option.

This is no life for you, it's no life for them.

It's too late for me to go back now.

Why do people run?

Why do they think they can just shrug everything off and start again?

Do they think it'll be better?

Look at you.

This is... This isn't a life.

You're in limbo, you're living off scraps.

And she's sitting, your wife is sitting at home

with no explanation, without much at all.

Is that what you want?

No... No.

Well, then.

What would I tell her?

The truth.

-Cos it's as easy as that?

-No!

No, because it's difficult.

But it's the right thing to do.

Stop running.

Stand still.

Does she hate me?

No. She's angry.

Do you reckon she'll let me explain?

You ran out on her. Come on, sit.

Sit. OK, are you ready?

All you can do now is offer the truth.

I love her.

I always have done.

HE COUGHS

If she can just let me see her...

..I could tell her that.

That's a good start.

Wait there, wait there!

Yes!

Hi, yeah, this is Dr Jimmi Clay from The Mill Health Centre.

I need an ambulance urgently in Bluebell Woods.

Great, thank you.

Right.

Let's get you back there

and call your wife.

Caspian?

No, Caspian! Not now, mate! Caspian?

Before you chuck me out...

A peace offering.

They're lovely.

But we can get different-colour ones,

or even mismatched, if you want.

I've got you these.

I scoured Letherbridge for them.

But if it's not what you want?

Just work your magic, Mum.

Or do the same thing you do every Christmas.

It wouldn't be the same if you didn't.

And you're right, this year needs to be extra special.

Thank you.

This will be the best one ever for you, me and Dad.

HE SHOUTS

Don't get mad,

but Nadia's number is in your jacket pocket.

I put it there a while back.

Anyway...

it's there if you change your mind.

DOORBELL RINGS

Does he want to see me?

I thought you were a lean, mean running machine?

Life's too short.

-Are you telling me you've come over to the dark side?

-I'll give it a go.

Wait a minute. Does this mean

-I've got to listen to a load of whinging?

-You did ask.

Well, just keep the ale coming.

Or how about we forget the whinging and cut straight to the beer?

He's already with the dark side.

And you've got some catching up to do.

Lincoln Hendry. He was hit by a car, left by the side of the road.

Why would you help someone and then disappear?

I believe in being a good Samaritan.

It is you, isn't it, the mystery angel?

Let me through.

I've called the police!

-What's going on?

-Ta-da!

-You want to show me how it works?

-No.

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