Job's Worth Doctors

'Warning. Warning.'

Wha... What?

'Warning. Warning.'

How long have you been up?

What are you doing?

Work.

Aiden?

WORKOUT MUSIC PLAYS

TV: 'How you feeling at home?

'So squeeze your back.'

'Point your toes...

'Bend your knees.

'Four, three, two, one...'

SWITCHES TV OFF

HEAVY BREATHING

KNOCK AT DOOR

Aiden? Are you OK?

BREATHES HEAVILY

Aiden.

HE SNIFFS

You'll do.

I just don't see why it should fall to me.

Yes, I'm aware I'm a partner, Howard, but I'm a doctor too.

I didn't exactly train in personnel.

Well, of course I'm capable.

OK. Yes, yes. All right.

Oh, today? Fine.

Yep, bye.

-Have some breakfast.

-I'm fine.

I didn't realise you had a deadline today. You didn't say.

Have you seen my work bag?

It's just there. You look flushed.

How's the neck?

Maybe you should pop in at the doctor's on the way in?

That water needs changing.

-They're fresh from work yesterday.

-Smell...disgusting.

HE GAGS

KEYPAD BEEPS

-Morning, Al.

-Morning.

How's it going?

Busy. You look like you haven't slept. Are you up to it?

Course he is. Water off a duck's back.

Better get to it, then.

Was that Daniel, or just Howard in disguise?

-I couldn't tell the difference.

-He's got a lot on his plate.

Same old, same old.

What were you expecting? Leprosy and rabies?

Wouldn't that be amazing?

Anything to break the unending monotony

of Mrs Prowse's in-growing toenail.

Aww! She loves you. Great big gentle hands, she says.

Maybe some never-before-seen tropical disease...

Careful what you wish for.

-Right now, all I'm wishing for is sleep.

-Oh, yes? Tell all.

I stayed up working on my blood pressure device.

But there's some glitch in the voice software.

I can't understand it, I wrote it myself.

Getting a taste of your own medicine.

I must've gone over that code at least a dozen times.

But it doesn't work! Surprise, surprise.

Mr Hayes is up first, by the way.

Irritable bowel.

Oh!

I rang the surgery.

I'm already late.

But it's only...

You start late today, remember?

Fine.

Aiden?

I said fine!

How's it going?

Scything through them.

If we could just separate the wheat from the chaff

-before they get their feet through the door.

-How do you mean?

Oh, you know, timewasters. Hypochondriac snifflers.

The worried well.

Part of our job. People need human contact, Al. Reassurance.

Sugar pill and a pat?

That's not what I meant. Anyway, your three-month review is due.

Oh, joy of joys(!) More boxes to tick.

Doesn't fill my heart with joy either, but it has to be done.

Really? I mean, is it that important?

Yes.

Although you're free to argue that one with Howard, if you like?

Shall we say lunchtime? If you can stay awake that long.

You got lucky when you rang. Dr Haskey just had a cancellation.

-I don't mind who we see.

-He's in with a patient at the minute,

so if you'd like to take a seat.

Mr Ingle? I was just saying, if you'd like to...

Aiden...

I know it sounds vague, but he's just not...right.

Mr Ingle?

Aiden?

I've no idea why we're even here.

What are you talking about, Aiden? What about the last few days?

The headaches, the migraines, the temperature, being sick?

I'm fine.

This wasn't my idea, sorry. So, if you'll excuse me...

What are you doing?

I'm going to work.

I'm sorry, but if your husband isn't willing to...

Um... Are you OK?

Of course I'm OK. It's my husband who's sick.

He doesn't seem to think so.

That's exactly why I'm so worried about him.

I don't follow.

-I know there's something wrong. Really wrong.

-Right...

Is he under pressure at work?

He's an architect. He handles deadlines fine.

Anyway, he always tells me his problems.

You say he's been feeling unwell?

But he won't talk about it.

He's been distant for days now. Secretive, almost.

You have absolutely no idea why that might be?

Well, no. I mean...

Of course I've thought about possible explanations of...

..of what it might be.

This is going to sound ridiculous.

It is ridiculous, knowing Aiden like I do, but...

Well, the truth is...

I have thought that he might be having an affair.

SHE SIGHS

And, um...

Do you think he's... Where are you going?

-You were falling asleep!

-No! No, no, no, I wasn't.

Mrs, um... Mrs Ingle, I wasn't...

Mrs Ingle, if you'll just listen...

-What? Like you were?

-I can explain myself.

Right. Moving on.

Mr Albright's next, right?

In the loo.

-OK, who wants me?

-Al?

All right, I'm going.

What happened with that patient?

Mrs Ingle? She's not my patient, actually, her husband is.

Stop splitting hairs.

She seemed a bit stressed. I may have touched a nerve or something. I don't know.

Why don't you know? You know I'm doing your review today.

You realise that how you treat your patients, or their wives,

is a big part of that?

I'm a doctor, not a Relate counsellor!

If she's having some kind of marital crisis...

Your job is to listen, assess and treat.

-I know that...

-If you've upset her, or if she didn't feel that

you were listening, you'd better deal with that.

Call her, apologise,

put it right.

Before lunch.

PHONE RINGS

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

-OK.

-Bye-bye.

-Goodbye, Miss Thomas.

Just go away, all of you.

Mrs Ingle.

Right.

"I am...sorry.

"I am so, so incredibly..."

..hungry.

-Now's good, if you're ready?

-I was just going to get a sandwich.

Make it quick. I'll be in my room.

Did you sort that thing out with Mrs, er...?

Ingle? Yeah, yeah. All in hand.

OK, thank you. Bye.

Hello. I thought it was you.

Can I just explain about earlier?

I've been burning the candle at both ends.

You know what? I really don't care about that now.

All right. Well...I'm sorry, all the same.

I just rang Aiden at work.

His boss said he hasn't turned up.

-Right.

-I'm just really worried.

These headaches seem to be really affecting him.

Are these a regular thing?

No. He's never had them before.

Never?

He's always been really fit and healthy.

Has he had a fall recently, banged his head, something like that?

It's like I told you earlier, he's been behaving weirdly for days.

What do you mean, weirdly?

I don't know, um...just...

confused, dazed, odd.

-Like with the roses.

-Huh?

I brought some home, completely fresh in water yesterday

but this morning he said they stank.

He reacted so badly he was actually sick.

Has he got any dizziness?

Yeah, and he keeps complaining of a bad neck.

But then, he's been sleeping so badly.

Do you think you can persuade him to come back in to see me?

I don't know, I could try.

It's probably nothing, but best to get it checked out.

Yeah, OK, I'll keep ringing.

OK. Well, I'll hopefully see you later, yeah?

PHONE RINGS

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

MUSIC: "Cowboys" by Portishead

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

PEN SCREECHES

Karen?

Is Al back yet?

I dunno. I'm not his jailor. Why?

Supposed to be doing his review.

-You?

-Yes, Howard thinks I need more managerial experience.

-Lucky you.

-Where is he?

Al? Probably the call of the bakery proved too strong.

When you next see him, can you tell him I'm waiting?

Yes, my liege.

Ooh, speak of the devil! You're back.

Unfortunately this is not a hologram.

Forgotten something?

-Al!

-What?

Can I ask you a question?

Is there a reason why your attitude stinks?

I'm sorry?

Slagging off the patients, strolling in late, moaning about the job,

and now this...

Come on.

What? It matches.

It needs burning!

I'm curious. Why do you work here if you don't want to?

Of course I want to work here.

Admit it, you'd rather be in your mad inventor's lab, blowing up test tubes.

True. I do love research, but...

I'm in the process of inventing something which will

radically alter people's lives.

And did you get those ideas by working with those people

face to face every day?

Well, yeah, I did. Why? What's your point?

If you want to work here, why are you lolling about,

stuffing your face when Daniel's through there

missing his lunch break to give you your review?

Oh... Fungal infection!

Might give the impression you don't care about the day job?

Could be wrong. Food for thought.

Speaking of which... Mayonnaise...

Thanks.

Sorry!

I got held up. Sorry.

Let's just get this done.

So, start with an overview.

How do you feel you're settling in here?

-Come on. Is the job what you hoped?

-I'm definitely learning a lot.

From dealing with the patients?

OK.

Right, next, best practice policy?

Can we backtrack a minute?

-Talking about patients. Mrs Ingle, the lady from this morning?

-Yes.

Her husband is displaying symptoms and I'm thinking

possible cerebral metastases or encephalitis...

-Brain tumour?

-Hmm.

He's got headaches, nausea, erratic behaviour, the whole shebang.

You've examined him?

No. I'm just going off what she's said.

So not diagnosis, just more speculative guesswork?

He's also got this interesting sensory symptom -

apparently his sense of smell has been seriously affected.

It's just a detail, but an interesting one.

Al, it's wonderful that you're focussing on patient care

but we're actually here to do a review.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Karen. Yeah, I'm right in the midd...

Mrs Ingle.

-Hello?

-'Aiden's at home.'

The neighbours have just rung to complain about the noise.

-I've tried ringing but...

-'It's OK.'

-Could you meet me at the house?

-Erm... Yeah.

I'll need to lock up the shop first.

OK, I'll see you there.

OK, thanks. Bye.

-Where are you going?

-I've got to go.

Sit down, we haven't finished.

Why are you being such a jobsworth today, Daniel?

Everybody goes on about putting patients first

but Haskey does it, ooh!

I'm going.

What's the point?

Aiden, please call me! I'm on my way home, OK.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Mr Ingle?

Aiden!

MUSIC PLAYS: "Hunter" by Bjork

Hello? Mister Ingle?

Hello?

Sorry, I let myself in at the back.

MUSIC STOPS

I'm Dr Haskey, we met this morning.

-You came to see me with your wife?

-Leave me alone,

-let me get on with it.

-Sorry?

Shona doesn't understand.

I have to work.

She's worried about you. She asked me to help.

Is it OK if I ask you a couple of questions?

Have you taken any medication today?

No.

What about alcohol? Or drugs?

It's OK to say.

I couldn't help noticing you've drawn the curtains.

Are you feeling sensitivity to light?

Is that uncomfortable?

I haven't got time for this. Go away.

If you just let me finish the examination...

Have you any idea how complicated this design is?

One slip in concentration and it's ruined.

What is it you're designing?

That's why you're really here, isn't it?

-I'm here to help.

-You're spying on my work!

-Get out!

-OK, OK! Calm down, OK.

-I'm going.

-Now!

-OK, I'm going.

OK, I'll bring him in shortly. Thank you.

It's OK. He's inside.

-Is he worse?

-We need to get him to St Phil's.

Do you think you can coax him out and into my car?

Er, yes, I'll try.

No, I haven't seen him.

It's almost afternoon surgery.

Oh, Howard just rang.

Wanted to remind you that Al needs to get his review done today.

Fat chance! I can't even keep him in the building for five minutes.

What are you, a partner or a mouse?

You don't understand. I have to work.

Please, stop fretting about work. It really doesn't matter.

Talking. Talking. There's no time for talking.

But you will need to talk to the doctor.

He's trying to steal it. I saw him.

Look, just try and relax, OK?

The doctor will be here soon, OK, sweetheart?

Thirsty.

There's a vending machine in the corridor. I'll get you some tea. OK?

You sit tight. I'll be back in a minute.

-Ah, finally.

-Sorry, I had to drop Mr Ingle off at St Phil's.

Oh, right.

He got a bit paranoid and aggressive.

The CT will confirm it, but I'm thinking encephalitis.

-Lucky to catch it before it's too late.

-OK, well...

-I should have listened to his wife properly this morning.

-Al...

It's 100% my fault. I was not...focused.

You've got a waiting room full of patients.

Get through your list. We can talk later.

-Thanks, Mr Morsley.

-Thank you.

-I need to talk to you.

-Mr Ingle!

I want to talk to you.

-Help! I need to talk to you.

-Come round the side. I'll let you in!

KNOCKING

Come in.

-I've been looking for you.

-OK. How can I help?

Not out here.

All right. Let's take a seat in my room.

Take a seat.

The ideas keep coming at me, they won't stop.

They keep coming at me. Even when I sleep.

What happened at St Phil's?

I can't finish it. The deadline keeps shifting.

Aiden, where's your wife?

I think we need to get you back to the hospital.

Not till I finish this job. I have to finish it!

I have to.

Could I have a look at it?

It won't make any sense to you.

HE SNIFFS

What's that smell?

-It's gas, isn't it?

-No. Aiden...

-This is a trap!

Aiden, listen to me...

-You want to poison me! To get my work.

-You're not well.

-No!

-We need to get you some help. It's OK.

-No!

-Some help in here, please!

-No.

-Aiden, listen to me.

-You can't...

-Listen to my voice.

You need to clam down. It's OK.

Can you call an ambulance, please?

-Listen to my...

-No...

-He's gone into seizure!

-Ambulance, please.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hi. How's he doing?

It's too early to tell, but at least he's stable now.

Encephalitis is such a tricky one to predict.

I wanted to say again how sorry I am about this morning.

It should not have happened.

Some jobs you just can't fall asleep on.

Look, I'm going to grab a word with the doctor.

Mr Ingle?

It's Dr Haskey. Do you remember?

It's OK, you're in the hospital now.

You're being well looked after.

I'll do it, I'll do it.

Thank you.

He just spoke.

Right, I'll leave you to it.

Good luck.

Don't say it. I know. My review.

Actually, I was going to say

I've just spoken to St Phil's for an update. Well done.

You may just have saved his life.

Or put it further at risk.

I made a mistake today.

Yeah, but you made up for it.

No. I got lucky.

What?

Haven't met many doctors who'd admit to that.

We all need a bit of luck sometimes.

He could have died.

But he didn't. And that's down to you.

So, you're not just a lazy, arrogant, socially dysfunctional...

Please let this end in a compliment.

I'm saying that you're human.

And that you genuinely care about your patients.

Who knows, if by some miracle you continue to

learn by your mistakes, you may make a decent doctor one day.

So that's your review done.

And, er...

You owe me a pint.

Wait a minute. We're done?

Yeah. What do you want, a badge and a certificate?

No, but I thought... Are we really done?

Yeah. Just got to do it all again tomorrow now.

And the day after that.

Have you ever got a kick out of just giving something away?

How much?

Get yourself a decent meal.

Thank you! Thank you very much, I will!

Just put Paul on!

He can't talk at this time, he's redistributing his wealth!

Sam wants to tell Chris himself

but I don't know when, maybe tomorrow, perhaps at the weekend.

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