Love, Honour, Betray Doctors

Oh, what?

Hiya.

I didn't want to disturb you.

You look tired.

I realise I was bang out of order, running out like that.

You're back?

I realised how much I missed you.

-No...

-I want us to make a go of it.

We can try for a baby, anything.

It's mainly dry, I caught it just before the rain...

Adam?

Greg...

What are you doing in my house?

-Where have you been, Adam?

-That's our laundry basket.

I live here now.

-Amy, what is he doing here?

-You're going nowhere near her.

-Get out of my house!

-You've no right to anything any more.

HE GROANS

Hello, police? I need someone...

No, leave him, leave him. Leave him.

I used to roll my own.

Bunked off cake making in Home Ec to spark up behind the prefabs.

You delinquent. How old were you?

13.

Lemon drizzle still eludes me.

Go on, then. Show me your skills.

I used to use one of those little machines.

Ah, that's cheating. Tell you what, I'll give you a lesson tonight.

Still on for tonight?

Yeah, course, why wouldn't I be?

I just thought after the last time, maybe...

I wouldn't miss it.

OK. Lampitt Arms it is.

PHONE RINGS

I've got to take this.

Hi.

Why has he come back?

I dunno.

We should be out looking for him.

-Dr Carter's on his way, he said you shouldn't leave the house.

-I'm fine.

You need to be checked over.

You saw what he was like. What if he hurts himself again?

-I don't think it's him we need to worry about.

-That was a one-off.

He's ill, Greg.

We have no idea what he's capable of.

I can't stay here and do nothing.

I'm going out to look for my husband.

Hello, Amy.

Sorry, I can't make tonight because I forgot that I'd made plans.

Oh? What are you up to?

Just having a drink with a friend.

Mind if I tag along? I'm going stir crazy here.

Course not...

Er, I can't remember the name of the pub

so I'll text you the details later, OK? Bye now.

Er, yeah?

Bye...

This friend? She fit?

It's a date, and you're not invited.

Anyway, Loverman...

I thought your little black book was fit to burst with all the ladies?

The choice gets overwhelming.

It's chat like that that keeps you single.

Canada? Very nice.

It's from Jas and Aran. They're having a ball.

-You missing her?

-That traitor?

Joining the ranks of the smug marrieds? No.

Well, look, I'm free for a pint any time, if you fancy it.

Really? What about tonight?

-Er, yeah, OK.

-Great!

I'll see if I can get us on the guest list for Le Nouveau Clique.

Pub not a club?

Pub, club, bar, it's all the same.

Hi, yeah, Le Clique?

Hi, I'm Kevin, I'm calling from International Talent Managers.

Can I speak to one of your PR people, please? Thanks.

(This is going to be epic.)

Yeah, hi, who's this? Janine, hi, yes. We've met, right?

I'm not going to a club...

I'm not going to a club!

Blood pressure's a bit high. Any bleeding?

No, not since the last time.

I've been doing nothing, bored senseless, staying at home.

Like you told me to.

Quite right too.

You can't be too careful when there's bleeding during pregnancy.

Any movement?

The odd fluttery feeling, maybe. The baby is OK?

I'm sure, but we don't want you taking any unnecessary risks.

I'll make sure she stays put, Doctor.

Last time I saw him was at the hospital,

just after he'd...you know.

How could he just disappear?

We won't know until we find him.

Why's he come back now?

There's a possibility even Adam doesn't know that.

We thought he was dead.

Maybe he'd be better off.

I'd never have done it, you know, if I thought Adam was still alive...

You don't have to justify yourself to me, Amy.

He's going to need help.

What are we going to do?

-We're on the guest list!

-For what?

The opening party of Le Clique? It's tonight.

And we are VIPs!

Along with every other teenybopper in town, lucky you.

It was supposed to be a pint in a pub...

I hear they have one of the finest selections of alcopops

in the Midlands.

If you take your fake ID they'll even serve you.

Oh, I take it from that you're going to come with us?

I'd love to, but unfortunately I can't.

I've got a date with Dr Donoghue.

Oh, right, OK. It's getting serious then... That's three?

Technically. But one or two have been disqualified.

So that's one date.

How about some bangers and mash?

You've got to eat, Ames.

How can I, when he's out there on his own?

Yeah, and he's lasted this long.

He's your brother.

Like I could forget.

How can you say that?

My whole life I've played second fiddle to him. It's us now.

Us and the baby.

But what if he tries to hurt himself again?

If Adam really wanted to top himself, he'd have done it by now.

And maybe if he'd taken more of those pills last time,

he'd have done us all a favour.

Yeah. Can I phone you right back?

Adam?

Dr Carter!

Been a long time. You all right?

There wasn't any milk. She always forgets to buy it.

So inconsiderate.

How long since you've seen a doctor?

What are you talking about?

I saw you a week ago? My head...

Why don't you jump in the car and you can tell me what's up?

You've cut your hand.

Let's get that sorted and have a nice cup of tea.

None of that weird stuff you drink.

Builder's, two sugars. Just how you like it.

OK.

What do you think? What you reckon? What you think?

I think it would look better in a cord.

I'm not planning on getting dressed up, so...

Mate, the birds in this place are going to be hot, trendy...

They're not going to be impressed by a couple of staid GPs,

that is so uncool.

As are men who use the word uncool.

The last thing I want to do is pull some "bird".

And anyway, we are a couple of staid GPs.

Not tonight.

Tonight, Matthew, I'm Kev. 25, A&R man for a top record label.

-He's 25!

-A&R? What's that stand for? Arrogant and repulsive?

-Technically that's not a lie, is it, really?

-25 bloomin' is.

Laugh it up, fuzz ball!

But tonight I'm going to pull. Big time.

The wife's on her way. Thanks for bringing him in.

I wasn't sure whether to take him straight to St Phil's.

We're going to keep him, in case his brother wants to press charges.

He's had enough for today, don't you think?

I don't know. He seems stable enough to me.

You never knows what's going on in someone's mind.

Well, I like a French cuff myself, but I'm afraid yours has had it.

-Ah.

-It's been itching.

-Can I go?

-No.

The police surgeon's on his way, as is a psychiatrist.

You're going to have to have that hand looked at.

I'm not going into hospital, Dr Carter.

I've had too much of that messing around.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come in.

Hello, Adam.

Oliver, you're such a nice man, it's not you.

Rubbish.

Oliver. I don't think I'm ready for a relationship now.

Who am I kidding?

Just be straight with him... Just be straight with him, OK.

Oliver. You are such a lovely man. But I've met someone.

And I wasn't looking to, I didn't want to.

It's actually a real pain in the backside.

But the thing is, I really like him.

I can't help it. And I'm so sorry.

Oliver, you are such...

-Is she ready?

-Yes, she is!

Where were you? What were you doing?

Sleeping rough.

My head's been messed.

We thought you were dead.

Why'd you come back now, Adam?

To make it up to you. We'll try for a baby, yeah?

I'll stay on the meds, this time. I'll see the therapist again.

I'd be a good dad... I promise you, babe.

Look at me.

A fresh start. We can move away if you want.

I said, look at me!

I'm five months pregnant.

No, you can't be.

I've only been gone a week, two tops...

You were gone for two years.

This is some kind of wind-up, yeah?

No.

No...

NO!

It'll be rammed. Should we go somewhere else?

No, it'll be fun.

I'm not really into quizzes.

That mini keg has got my name on it.

Natural Blonde?

It's not just any blonde. It's the Letherbridge Microbrewery blonde.

She be rare. We are going nowhere. Not without that keg!

Do you remember anything?

No...

Taking the pills, trying to hurt yourself?

They were treating you, and you ran away from the hospital.

Where did you go?

We didn't know what to think, we didn't know what to do...

You found something to do all right.

You tried to...

You took an overdose.

You would be dead if Greg hadn't found you.

And now you wish he hadn't?

You've been as good as dead to me.

Greg was... He was there.

I always knew he fancied you.

Right from the word go, he could never take his eyes off you!

No, it wasn't like that. Not for a long time.

How'd it happen then? Few too many beers one night?

One brother's as good as another with your beer goggles on?

I love him.

-And he loves me.

-And me?

So what am I then? A ghost?

In my own bloody life?

We love you. Both of us.

Get out, get out, GET OUT!

Adam? Calm down. Please?

I want out of here now.

You are in no fit state.

-You knew how long I'd been gone?

-You're ill, Adam.

My wife is pregnant to my brother and I'm the ill one?

-Please, Doc, let me go.

-You need to go to hospital.

I disappeared once before and I can do it again.

-Everyone would be better off.

-You don't mean that.

I've lost two years. My home, my wife.

My life!

Tell me I'm not better off dead.

-Right, team name?

-Strangelove and Feelgood?

You're Strangelove obviously.

The emphasis being on the strange.

-Making you Feelgood?

-Well, if the cap fits.

Well, you certainly always make me feel...

Thirsty. What you going to have?

Hey, you forgot to text me!

Oliver, so I did. Hi. How did you know where we were?

It's all right, Karen told me. Hi, Al.

I'll get the drinks in, shall I?

Yes, erm, I'd love a...pint of the guest ale, please, Oliver.

Guest ale. Dry white wine?

-That's me.

-Great. I love a good quiz!

Excuse me!

I thought...

Yeah, I totally did. It's just that...

I might've mentioned that we were going to the pub,

-and he must've assumed that there was a crowd of us.

-What?

He hasn't got very many friends. He's not very...gregarious.

Look, when he comes back, I'll tell him it's just you and me

and he's to leave.

No, don't do that, poor sod...

You know what, Dr Haskey? For all your bluster,

you're a big old softie.

-Is he OK?

-The psychiatrist's assessing him right now.

The time that he was away, was he still trying to hurt himself?

Well, he had some scars on his arm which I hadn't noticed before.

No, he never tried that one.

But if he gets meds, if he's monitored, he'll be OK, won't he?

-It's not that simple.

-But he was fine.

As long as he stayed on his meds, he was good.

But he never did, did he?

All the signs suggest some form of psychosis.

Which is why he needs immediate assessment.

He won't go in voluntarily.

Taking into account the disappearances,

the suicide attempts, he needs to be sectioned for his own safety.

How long will they keep him in?

Maybe six months.

The baby will be two months old.

That's my recommendation.

-As his next of kin you're entitled to refuse.

-She won't.

-You can't.

-I can speak for myself...

-Amy...

..and I will decide what happens to my husband.

What film did they meet on?

Mr & Mrs Smith, Brad and Angelina met on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith.

-Get it down.

-It worries me that you know that.

-Number three...

-One of us has their finger on the pulse.

What is the capital of Croatia?

Quiet, please, Oliver. I can't hear the questions.

-Have I told you, you look lovely tonight?

-Thank you.

Here, make yourself useful.

Or course, um... What number was that?

-Number three, Zagreb...

-Za? Zagreb...

-Zagreb!

This is like the seventh circle of hell.

Nah. This is prime pulling ground, mate.

-I'd rather pull my toenails out, mate.

-Don't be soft.

You've got to think of it like a military operation.

-Oh, dear God.

-This is your battle ground,

and all you have to remember are three strategic moves.

Locate target.

Engage target.

Manoeuvre.

What? Are you on something?

Just call me El Conquistador.

Watch and learn, Senor. Watch and learn.

Hola. That's Spanish for hello.

Is that the best line you've got?

That's the only line I'm going to need!

I'm Poppy.

"Hola" to you too.

So if you were to agree to this treatment...

-Adam?

-Ssh. I can't hear.

Hear what?

They're telling me stuff.

They might've told me my brother was sleeping with my wife.

You're sick, Adam. Let us help you.

I'm not the sick one here.

Then you leave me no choice.

You want to cart me off to some nuthouse

because you think I'm going to top myself, yeah?

But the job's already done.

I'm long gone.

You're looking at a ghost.

I have been ever since I left her.

This is your life, Adam. We managed this before...

What life?

..with the right medication.

Doping me up to the eyeballs?

I know the score and I know my rights.

-Amy can stop you doing this.

-Adam...

I want to see her.

If you stop this, what's going to happen to him, then?

So what, just let them lock him up and throw away the key?

He was good when he was with me.

I can look after him.

You heard what the doctor said.

He's your brother. We owe him something.

My whole life, I've been left with the mess he's made.

This, you... It's the best thing that's happened to me.

I'm not going to let him ruin that too.

It was my car today.

Next time he might go for you. Or the baby.

I know him, he wouldn't do that.

Neither of us really know him any more, Ames.

Adam would like to speak to you.

I love you.

Please?

Born Peter Malcolm Gordon Moffett,

Peter Davison was the fifth Doctor.

I think you'll find it was Tom Baker.

-It's Peter Davison.

-Tom Baker!

Can you write something down? We'll miss the next question.

Davison it is then.

-You've rubbed my answers out.

-Only the wrong ones.

-Ssh! Listen!

What is the symbol for silver on the Periodic Table?

Ag. I know that one.

Just admit you need help. Go in for treatment.

I will if you let me come home.

And Greg and the baby?

I forgive you for what's happened.

No, you left me, remember?

Then we'll forgive each other.

We're married, remember? That's what it's supposed to mean.

Just tell Dr Carter you agree. It'll make it all so much easier.

For who?

You and him?

-You had this all planned, didn't you?

-No...

You never loved me. You whore!

How can you say that?

Got it all sorted already. Him.

Baby on the way. Perfect life...

All you've got left to do now is get rid of the mental husband.

-You need help.

-I need you.

OK, OK... Let her go.

Please...

Don't let them do this to me.

Calm down.

You're getting what you wanted. A new life.

And I deserve the same.

It's all right, it still works.

-What about Oliver?

-Oh, I must've forgot.

Well, could you go back and get him one, please?

-FANFARE

-Sssh, it's tiebreaker time!

First to shout out the correct answer wins.

Which boyband did Colin Farrell audition for?

Westlife!

That's the wrong answer.

It was Boyzone.

I'm sorry, guys.

It was sudden death. Have you not heard of conferring?

If it's sudden death, it's the first one to shout out.

I didn't hear any suggestions from you.

You didn't give me a chance! I knew it was Boyzone.

Hey, don't speak to her like that.

Why are you even here?

What kind of Billy No-mates loser crashes in on someone else's date?

What?

You...two were on a date?

Oliver, I am so sorry.

I tried to explain on the phone...

Night, Oliver.

So she's not intervening?

I sincerely hope not.

The ambulance is here.

So if you've any objections, now's probably the time.

What's the matter?

I don't know. It was weird.

Your baby has decided to make his presence felt.

He's kicking. He's kicking! Feel...

It's not just about you and me any more, Ames.

This is all that matters now.

Get your hands off my wife!

-Wait.

-Please, Amy! I don't want to go...

Please, I love you.

I love you, too.

I'm sorry.

(It's OK...)

Think major diva. That's all I'm going to say.

Oh, please?

Promise not to tell anyone?

No WAY! I can't believe you represent Miley...

Ssh! Only in Europe. America is a whole different ball game.

Still, she's, like, totally awesome.

Well, once production have had their way, she sounds OK.

That's pretty swag.

We haven't talked about you yet.

I'm a student, fine art.

It's OK, kinda boring.

No, no, no. Anything but.

I'll get a round in. So a pint and...

Anything for you?

No, I'm fine, thanks.

Double G&T and a pint of lager, please.

Can I see your ID?

Hey, nice pic!

Stop. It's awful.

Well, you do look better in the flesh.

Suppose this is dull for you, after being on tour...

Yeah, tour?

You know, the riders... All the champagne, oysters,

dressing rooms swathed in white linen.

All the M&Ms you can eat.

Do you get someone to take out the blue ones?

-I can't stand the blue ones.

-I can't stand the blue ones either.

It's weird. You're not very big, are you?

I thought drummers were supposed to be muscly?

Yeah, I like to do it with my feet.

OK, I'm just going to pop to the bathroom.

-Drummer? What have you been telling her?

-Who cares?

As long as you pull them young and fit.

And gullible.

-What's that, Help The Aged?

-She's not that old.

Reckon she's got support tights older than you, mate.

-You going to go there?

-No, I am not going to go there, thank you.

-Wonder if she has false teeth...

-OK, it's been a lovely evening but I'm off. See you later.

I'll go and get the car.

You must think I'm a terrible person.

Nonsense. It's an impossible situation.

Greg was so...

He was so like him, you know?

It was like having my husband back.

I won't see him again, will I?

There is every chance he can get back to normal.

He won't last in hospital, Dr Carter.

He'll try and hurt himself again, and if he doesn't

they'll medicate him so much he won't even be there any more.

We did the best we could.

I wasn't lying when I said I loved him.

I would've stood by him.

In sickness and in health, till death do us part.

All that stuff.

Jimmi Clay, Cougar Magnet. Who'd have thought?

Bet he loved it.

I'm glad he had a laugh. He's had bad luck with women.

Just as well he's had better luck with mates, then?

You're a pretty boss guy.

-Am I?

-Bet you're dead busy, hanging with your homies and that.

Not really.

Got to go, but roll up your sleeve?

-Eh?

-Just do it.

So, text me...

Or don't.

Nice tat, by the way.

It should've been me.

Without Oliver it wouldn't have got anywhere near a tie-break!

So, what do you want to do tomorrow?

With you?

Nothing.

-Eh?

-I'm sick of your bitching and whining and brattish behaviour.

It's my fault that Oliver came here tonight

because I didn't have the guts to knock him back.

But all you care about is your beer. So, you know what? Enjoy!

Hey, what's going on then?

Why did you have to act like that?

I dunno. He was really winding me up...

Oh, come on, Tom Baker?!

The quiz again. Get over it!

I don't want to see you tomorrow. Or ever.

I mean, obviously I will see you tomorrow

and the day after that because, well...

The thing is, the point is...this, you and me. It's not working.

Baker!

-Hello.

-Stop being an old fogey and get yourself over here.

Stella needs you, more than your books need you!

She's been knocked sideways by what's happened,

just as much as you have.

-You seem tense.

-I'm not, and that's not denial!

Hola.

Talk about playing hard to get.

You're lying, Stella, tell me the truth, tell me the truth!

I am!