In Questa Reggia Doctors

Oh, you've narrowed it down to two. That's...progress, I suppose.

Well, which do you think? I've been dying to break out the red one,

but it never seems to be the right occasion.

I don't want to overdo it, so maybe black and understated is better.

Understated, darling, you(?)

Not helpful.

What's Trish like? I don't want to... Well...

Steal her thunder? I know.

I want to make a good impression.

I know everyone thinks I'm competitive all the time, but...

You don't have to be nervous, all right?

I know that people let you down last time. Forget them.

I'm not nervous!

I don't care one jot about those fake, backstabbing frauds.

You and Trish are going to get along just fine, I know it.

And as for tonight, keep it simple.

I think you look terrific in the black.

And I'm sure that she won't feel too overshadowed

by your ravishing good looks.

Finally!

There are other places we can drink.

I can literally think of a hundred off the top of my head.

You know why we're here, don't you?

Because Al's been barred from the King's Arms.

Whoa-whoa! I've not been barred.

You can't bar someone who'll never set foot in your wretched pub again.

Come on, you know, three brilliant minds at the Icon on a Friday night!

Yeah, the worst end to a week imaginable.

Penance for past sins.

No, quiz night!

Whoa! Quiz night! Right, you...you grab that table,

I'll come up with a team name!

-You've never done a quiz night with Haskey before, have you?

-No. Why?

I love quiz night!

Cheers.

Come on, then, out with it.

Well, it's just a little bit...blah, isn't it?

You said you were going to be on your best behaviour.

I am. All I'm saying is that I was expecting...some personality.

It's a house.

There they are. Zara, you look stunning!

Thank you. Ha!

Darling, let me introduce you to...

Daniel and Zara. Well, you certainly live up to your reputation!

-I love that dress!

-Oh.

(Thanks.)

Oh, very nice!

Thank you. Would you like a drink?

I'd like to say a proper hello first, Heston.

Oh, of course. Apologies.

Oh. Still as uptight as ever.

-It's...lovely to see you.

-And you.

Go on, then, get us a drink.

I imagine your cellar is still exceptional.

Comte de Bleuchamp, 1997 to start us off.

Oh, well, as with all things, Heston, I bow to your expertise.

Sorry things were so brief in Bregenz.

I would have loved to have stayed longer, but we had to dash.

The environmentalist?

Yes. Well, he's gone now.

Too short.

Are you seeing anyone else?

-Mm. You don't waste much time, do you?

-Behave.

No chance. What shall we drink to?

Us?

To good health.

Hm! How lovely of fate to throw us together again.

Oh! Ha! I'll have that one. THEY CHUCKLE

Good thing Jimmi wasn't here to see that. We'd have to sedate him!

-THEY LAUGH

-Seriously, I'm glad it's just us.

Gives us chance to talk about The Mill's future intelligently,

without the tantrums the others always throw.

Here we go, talking shop already.

Come on, Zara, we can't leave the future in their hands.

I don't trust Anthony to run his own bath, let alone the surgery.

I just think we need to have a sensible conversation

about what's going to happen with the place,

without the sentimental nonsense the others bring to the table.

Feels a bit conspiratorial, doesn't it?

Oh! Who fancies a wine?

Good idea.

It's a matter of principle.

I'm not going back while that man's still in charge.

Retirement does have its advantages, Heston.

Which I will arrive at in my own time.

This is not how or when I bow out.

I'm assuming you just forgot about the candles.

Yes.

So that's work, then.

What about play?

Love life?

There is someone.

Oh, good.

Well, she has exceptional taste.

Where did you meet?

At work. She's a midwife.

Are you happy?

Wonderfully.

Be honest, Dr Carter,

is everything as it should be?

OK, so team name should be...some kind of a pun,

like Les Quizerables.

Quiz-teama Aguilera.

Agatha Quiztie. THEY LAUGH

-Ooo! Quiz Eubank!

-Um...Quiz Tarrant!

THEY LAUGH

Just...just put The Mill.

-No!

-Jimmi, no!

-Oh, come on, this is taking forever!

-Is there somewhere you'd rather be?

-Yeah, literally anywhere.

-Ooh! Quizzie Rascal.

-That's a bit obvious.

-Oh, just put it, will you?

-What's got you so quiz-erable, James?

Yeah. You do seem a bit quiz-ed off.

THEY LAUGH

What do you guys think of Anthony?

Well, he's all right, isn't he? He knows his onions.

He knows how to run that place and he doesn't get in the way.

Yeah. I like that he just trusts me to get on with it.

He treats me like I belong, so... Why?

What's your take?

I don't like him.

King's Green is just the beginning.

While we're doing that, and this is a bitter pill,

we need to start thinking about letting the Campus go.

I know it's something a lot of the team will baulk at,

but it's run its course.

It simply isn't worth the financial risk any more.

And, of course, shedding the Campus

could allow you to expand the Granger clinic,

if that's something you had an ambition for?

There's no shortage of work, certainly.

What about you, Zara?

Come on. We can't leave it in the hands of the boys, can we?

I have thought about running a private surgery.

There's demand for it. And, frankly, we're behind the times on that one.

I think that's wonderful for both of you.

You see, this is what I mean, the four of us.

The future foundation at The Mill.

We need to start thinking about the brand, what it means.

Are we a quaint, nostalgic relic,

or are we a healthy, efficient machine, facing firmly forwards?

And that's an ethos that has to run through everything,

from reception to consultation.

New, next gen. Finger on the pulse.

Once you get everything right, everything complimentary,

in marriage, in business, anything,

you start seeing results.

A toast, then.

To the future.

-The future.

-The future.

Come on, Heston. I like to think I know you.

-I certainly don't want to see you bottling up.

-It's fine.

I just always wanted you to be happy.

Oh, which is why you just...

Why I left you.

With barely an explanation.

I probably couldn't explain it any better today than I could then.

You have every right to be angry.

I'm not angry, I just...

..sometimes wonder what went wrong.

Is that why you wanted to meet up?

No. It's...

it's about now, it's about the future.

How can I help?

You knew me a long time ago,

-but you were fond of me.

-Very.

How do I compare to the man I used to be?

Just an instinct.

So not an official diagnosis, then?

What, you...you really don't see it?

Not really, no.

Right, this is easy.

So Kilmer, Clooney.

-Who's that, then?

-Affleck. They're the rubbish Batmans.

SID CHUCKLES

You don't think that maybe you've just got him wrong?

That this instinct of yours has let you down?

I think he's just pulled the wool over your eyes.

I hate to say it, but you don't always get the right measure of people, do you?

Explains why I'm friends with you, then, doesn't it?

What, you-you like what he's done?

Rainbow Dash, Applejack,

Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy!

Ssh!

-It's My Little Pony.

-Put it down, then.

SID CHUCKLES

Look, things are going to have to change some day, mate.

That's the way the NHS is going.

And we need someone like Anthony to help us keep ahead of the curve.

Look to the future.

Blue sky thinking, that.

What do the other partners think of him? What does Daniel think?

Don't even get me started on Daniel.

It wasn't so much a health scare, more a reminder that I'm not as young as I used to be.

Well, of course.

I trust your medical opinions on these matters far more than mine.

But this isn't denial, is it, Heston?

Nor your buttoned-up, understated way of always doing things?

You are being honest with me?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Are you expecting company?

No, but...

Then don't shy away from the question.

If it's important, they'll wait. This matters more.

If you keep on avoiding these things, they will eat away at you.

Says she who left without so much as a goodbye.

Well, it makes me something of an expert, don't you think?

-BANGING

-Oi! What's going on?!

-What on earth...?

-SHE SIGHS

Hoo!

Mm! That was delicious, thank you.

Good English dessert, that, the Bakewell.

Nothing beats a tart and a bit of cream.

THEY LAUGH Any more for any more?

-No, thank you, no, no.

-No, thanks.

-Thank you.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to get to talk about all this.

From day one, you both struck me as the kind of people

who had the backbone for this sort of thing.

-You've both been phenomenal partners.

-Thank you.

I can see why Jimmi got the job, the old ladies love him,

but he's not exactly famed for taking risks, is he?

Or... He's not exactly famed for anything,

-apart from being moody and Welsh.

-THEY LAUGH

Yes, that's it.

You've both been indispensable. I mean it.

Thank you so much.

I'm not a peeping Tom!

Well, whatever you are, you are most unwelcome!

Heston, it's fine. Emilio, why are you even here?!

Because of this!

This! Behind my back!

Darling, I said I was seeing a friend.

You've only embarrassed yourself!

-A friend, is he?

-Sorry, who are you?

He's my lover, Heston.

And he's out of line!

I'm not your property, Emilio!

Please just leave. We've been through this.

Yeah, we have.

Last time, you snuck off with an old pianist.

Sorry, what?

A concert pianist, actually.

You should go home and we'll talk about this later,

after I've finished here!

Look...I don't know about last time,

but I can assure you nothing untoward is happening here.

-Alicia and I are old friends.

-Yeah, I could see(!)

You've got the wrong end of the stick. I have plenty of food.

I don't want a silly argument.

Why don't you sit down and join us?

I have nothing but admiration for Heston -

a legacy like his commands a lot of respect -

but I am a pragmatist.

He nearly worked himself to death.

Well, it wasn't that bad.

I wish I shared your confidence.

I don't think Heston's going to drop dead anytime soon.

It's not that. The man was ill

and he either hid it or, worse, didn't realise.

Whatever that says about his judgement gives me pause for thought.

Doctors are famously bad patients.

I think he's earned a retirement, not a convalescence.

He should be rewarded for his hard work and accept he's lost his edge.

But that's still his decision to make, isn't it?

Well, retirement is, yes, of course.

Penguins or polar bears?

-Did he say Arctic or Antarctic?

-Ssh!

I'm getting another drink. You in?

Just water for me. I've got to focus.

-I'll have his.

-What, two pints?!

Yeah, and some nuts. Do you want some money?

No, I'm all right.

So, what's the story with Jimmi and Daniel, then?

You made it sound like there was real history or something.

-You mean you really don't know?

-What?

You can't tell me not one of those gossips we work with has mentioned this?

No. What?

OK. Well, once upon a time, Dr Jimmi Clay

-was married to a blonde princess called Cherry.

-Oh.

And then Daniel, the big bad wolf...

No!

Yeah.

He killed her?

What?! No, you fool!

He Daniel-ed her.

Oh! Yeah, that makes a lot more sense.

Mm! You two can finish the bottle.

I should probably give Trish a hand in the kitchen.

After all, she went to a lot of trouble defrosting that pie.

-THEY CHUCKLE

-Can Zara help?

Ha! I'm sure we can manage.

(Well, I am impressed!)

Any particular reason, or just the usual awe I inspire?

-Well, partly that, but you are on your best behaviour, aren't you?

-Mm.

(I think she's probably just a bit nervous.)

Or shall we say a little bit tipsy?

It's going well, don't you think?

-I like her.

-I think they're both a bit nervous.

You know, it's a...it's a big ask

-and they need all the partners on side.

-So...

Do you think they'll go for it?

What do you make of all this future foundation stuff?

I think Anthony's got a vision...

..and I'm flattered that he wants us onboard.

Hi. Do you think you're going to be much longer?

I've made a fool of myself, haven't I?

I really think you should just come back inside.

I just want to make her happy.

She sees me as this uncultured boy toy,

but I want to be more than that.

I don't want to control her, that's not it.

She can be frustratingly elusive at times.

She's like that with you?

Well, it's been years since I even sat down for a meal with her,

but when we were younger, yes.

I only found out she was leaving for Hong Kong

when she phoned me from the airport.

Then help me, please.

How do I make her happy?

Right, we're looking good.

Couple more rounds, we will be champions.

-What are the last two rounds?

-Um...TV...

-Excellent.

-..and sports round.

-Drat!

Um...have you two ever...only for a short time, moved in with Emma?

Seriously? Is this about Ayesha?

Of course it's because of Ayesha.

-You still all a goo-goo for Nurse Legs?

-Yeah, I was only asking.

And I'm going to do some telling, Sidney. No!

Do not move in with them!

Be a man. Strike out on your own.

You move in with them and within a month, a little month,

they will be mothering you.

They will be making your bed

and they will be ironing your underpants.

I do know how to make my own bed, thanks!

Bachelor lifestyle for the win.

-Oh, yeah, look at you.

-THEY LAUGH

-Whatever. Another round?

-Nah, I'm good.

Jimmi, it's Friday night.

I don't want my Saturday to be a write-off.

-You're a lightweight. Shame on you. Dr Vere?

-Just water, thanks.

You're a lightweight. Shame on you.

What is this, some kind of non-drinking charity month?

Dry-tober or Stop-booze-vember?

No, I just...I want to win the quiz, that's all,

-and I need all my mental faculties.

-Mental faculties?

You've just told us you're going to be moving into a houseful of women!

What does she like? Um...

The works of Patricia Highsmith, eggs Benedict, Brian Eno...

Kandinsky, not Pollock. Found that out the hard way.

And she hates balloons.

This is good, this is good.

But as a person, her...her passions. What made her come alive?

-Culture, arguing.

-Yeah.

No, no, no, I'm serious. I used to take it personally,

but she likes the challenge, the emotions.

Hm. La passione!

-Are you Italian?

-My father is from Naples.

-Do you speak Italian?

-Abbastanza.

Well, next time, try arguing back in Italian -

-it's like catnip to her.

-Really?

Assolutamente!

You were fond of her, huh?

In another lifetime, yes, Alicia had my heart.

Maybe that's why she left. But...

There are depths to women that you and I will never understand.

Part of their beauty.

I'm in love with someone else now.

It's not easy, but...

..you have nothing to fear from me.

Ah, easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Officer Fairfax.

No, no, no, it's not. It's Crabtree!

No, it's Fairfax - any idiot knows that.

It's not, it's Officer Crabtree. I'm right, aren't I?

-Why would I know?

-You weren't even born then.

I promise you, on my nan's grave, it is Crabtree. Officer Crabtree.

No, I don't trust you and I don't trust your nan.

-We are going with Fairfax and I'm handing it in.

-Al!

Um...would you ladies want another water(?)

I tried to warn you.

That's your winner right there!

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

You know...you know what she was arrested for?

Go on!

They thought that she was trying to blow up the Queen!

-THEY LAUGH

-What?!

It was a...it was a horrible mix-up.

She had a parcel and she was

just a little bit too determined to give it to Her Majesty!

If you ever want to see Mrs Tembe just curl up into a ball,

you just have to mention that!

Priceless!

I only met her briefly, but she made quite an impression, didn't she?

Oh, yeah.

That ridiculous way of speaking!

The whole business about her name!

Oh, you don't get to call her Winifred and survive.

And the wigs! She looked like she had Lego hair sometimes!

Winnie the wig! THEY LAUGH

"Now, if you want to get better, the first thing you need to do

"is let the good Lord Jesus Christ into your heart!

"Please and thank you. Take a seat!"

THEY LAUGH

Honestly! Who hired her?!

She's hilarious!

THEY LAUGH HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

OPERA MUSIC PLAYS

-Oh!

-I'm glad to see you're both back in one piece.

Mi dispiace molto. Perdonami.

It's quite all right. A misunderstanding.

Puccini?

Of course.

Well, I can get a taxi home.

You should finish catching up with one another.

I didn't mean to spoil things.

Mangiate, vi prego.

No... I think the evening is coming to a close, don't you?

I should get us both back.

Ti puniro a casa.

Si?

Certo.

Let me get you a cab.

Heaven knows what that fossilised fundamentalist was doing

working at your surgery!

It's a good job you got her out of there, by the sound of things!

I think that's probably enough about Mrs Tembe, don't you, darling?

Oh, please. I'm only saying what we're all thinking, right?

No. Wrong.

Excuse me?

Please...do not presume to know what I am thinking.

I'm all for pointing out a person's faults,

but far better if it's done to their face, don't you think?

I mean, for example, I could go behind your back

and say that you were drunk

and you've embarrassed yourself with the rudest,

most ill-informed opinions,

but where would be the good in that?

That would just be cruel, wouldn't it?

I...

But Mrs Tembe, she's stuck in her ways, yes,

but she's also about as decent and honest as they come.

Whatever way she dresses or speaks is hardly the point.

Yes, she can have an inflated opinion of herself sometimes...

..but it seems to me, so can you.

Her heart is in the right place.

She's proved herself capable, time and time again,

and that's the most important thing to me.

I'm sorry.

I really meant no offence.

I take it back.

Of course.

I would like to stress that I also have nothing against Mrs Tembe,

personally, but I have to look at this from a managerial perspective.

I can't allow favouritism.

-No-one's asking you to.

-Good.

Because I don't think either of you know the full extent of the problem.

Grazie mille.

It's quite all right.

Well, I don't think either of us had this in mind for tonight.

Far be it from me to tell you how to live your life

but, Alicia, that young man really loves you.

I don't think you should take that lightly.

I'm glad to see that your heart is as generous as I remember it,

Heston.

And as for how you compare to the man you used to be...

Well, two things.

One, the Italian Stallion over there came to you

on tips on how to be a better lover.

And two, an intelligent, beautiful and highly desired woman

would have jumped your bones tonight

if you had so much as gestured to the bedroom.

I hadn't thought of it like that!

As far as I'm concerned, Heston, you've still got it

and I hope this new lover of yours appreciates it.

Ciao.

Ciao.

So, how did we do?

We... We got 59 out of 60.

You're joking! Which one?

Does it matter? Look at them, cosying up to the quiz master.

The whole thing's rigged.

I knew it!

Just some stupid sitcom.

So Sid was right? It was Crabtree?

-Are we going to cry about this all night?

-Yes!

If you were so sure, why didn't you make a better case for it?

-Oh, just leave it.

-Maybe if you...

No, maybe if you didn't drink so much!

You what?

Maybe... I mean, studies have shown...

"Studies have shown"?

Please, tell me more. Let me learn from you, Dr Vere.

Well, your judgement can be impaired for starters.

You can be more aggressive.

Not to mention the long-term damage to the brain, the liver, the blood.

The increased cancer risk.

You're so wise, Doctor. I'm really pleased that I know you!

Did you hear this?

Apparently, Dr Vere says that drinking can be bad for my health!

Just answer me one thing -

what does your medical science have to say

about the correlation between well-being and happiness?

Would, for example, a happy person live longer?

There is an argument

that a happy person can live several years longer...

Well, I'm happiest with a pint of real ale in my hand.

So, to my good health, gentlemen.

See you Monday.

-Night, Jimmi.

-Night.

It's like liquid cake.

Just out of interest, what's second prize?

Beer tokens.

-It's like it was meant to be, Sid.

-Hmm.

And you remember, one of the first things I had to do

was try and tidy up her shocking accounting.

We said at the time

it was probably just the transition from the Howard era -

how it couldn't have been easy.

Well, I'm sorry to say, the mistakes just kept coming.

You say she's the first to admit when she's wrong, I'm not so sure.

Sloppy accounting, appointment errors...

Well, it's not the kind of thing I want to go over at dinner,

but there's been few complaints about her, on and off the record.

I've covered for her as best I can.

I had no idea it was so bad.

I've managed to shield her, and us, from the worst of it.

We're all very fond of her as a person.

It made a bit more sense when she was behind reception, but...

But?

Now, when she Mrs Tembe looks bad, Kings Green looks bad.

You both seem committed to keeping The Mill alive.

-Absolutely.

-Well, I don't say this lightly.

Right now, Mrs Tembe is our biggest obstacle to progress.

If we are to move forwards, it's time to leave her behind.

Can I count on your support?

Whoa! Hey, what are you doing?!

What's the point of fighting it? I might as well give up now.

If you want to do something for Livvy,

then go and get this sorted out instead.

You may not care about yourself, but what about her?

Don't you think about that?

You are not beaten yet...

..even if it does feels like that.