Comfort and Joy Doctors


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Comfort and Joy

Mrs Tembe implements Christmas Jumper Day at The Mill, while Tyler encounters Ayesha's mother again. Karen gets a call from the hospital.


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# Gloo-ooo-ooo-ooo...

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# Ooo-ooo-ooo-ria!

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# It's Karen in her jumper! #

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-What do you think?

-I think the earrings are a bit over the top.

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Ta-da!

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Then again, maybe not.

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Morning.

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So, we are going to do scrambled eggs and smoked salmon

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with a little bit of fake bucks fizz.

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-You got time for that?

-Yeah, suppose so.

-Yee!

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Good news, then?

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Op went well, they said. Mum should be on the mend now.

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Yeah, we're going to pop to the hospital later.

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-Got her a scarf.

-Ah. Good lad.

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Right! Enough nattering. Let's get cracking!

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Oi. What's with the sneaking away?

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Oh, I didn't want to wake you.

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-Oh. Is it my morning breath?

-No. You just looked beautiful, so...

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-I didn't want to spoil it.

-You big cheese.

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You in all day?

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Yeah, I've got some wrapping I could do,

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I might go and do dome last minute shopping, or, I was thinking

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I might just stay in my jimjams and watch Elf.

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Jimjams. All right.

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Well, if you're not going to take me back in, least you can do is give me a kiss.

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Now get back in before you catch a cold.

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Have a lovely day, dear.

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You do look very good in wool, Doctor Clay.

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That must be the Welsh in you.

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-You know, mine goes ding-a-ling. Look.

-Oh! It's lovely.

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LAUGHTER

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Ah, Dr Carmichael, how come you are not wearing your...?

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My what, Mrs Tembe?

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-Ah.

-Mm!

-No, it is very stylish.

-Very nice!

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The jumper, I mean. Not...

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Well, yeah, of course, you look nice as well,

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I just meant the jumper looks good on you.

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Cos everything always looks good... Sorry.

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Oh...

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-Morning.

-Oi! Oi! Where do you think you're going?

-What?

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-Um...

-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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You know.

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Oh, no. Is that today?

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Oh, as if you didn't know, you naughty man.

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Everyone else has remembered. Everyone else has made an effort.

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You are going to spoil the picture, looking like that, Dr Haskey.

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Yeah. You know, Sid even showed us his ding-a-ling.

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I bought one, I promise you.

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It had like an X-Wing and TIE fighters all over it,

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but I bought it online,

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and you know what December deliveries are like.

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A likely story.

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I promise on the little baby Santa, I would jump into a jumper.

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Oh.

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Well...

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luckily for you,

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I have brought a spare one.

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We're going to pop to the shops later,

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so let us know if you want anything.

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You're going shopping again?

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You couldn't get anything else in the fridge.

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Why does everyone go bananas with food over Christmas?

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We don't need any more.

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Because Jack will have eaten all that before he's even unpacked.

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And I've got to get Immie her vegetarian turkey,

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and her vegetarian stuffing, and her vegetarian carrots...

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And you've eaten all the honey roasted peanuts.

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Have I? Ah, well, you'd better get some more, then.

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I'll you tell you what, just put a big drum of honey roasted peanuts

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in front of me and I'll be sorted till New Year.

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All right, grumpy pants, what is the matter with you?

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I've gone from night shifts to day shift. All I want is bed shifts.

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Oh, well, 'tis the season to be jolly, remember?

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The season to... Are you joking? It's Friday.

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Jolly for me is having to deal with massive groups of people

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who knock off work early and get absolutely blottoed!

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-It's Christmas, just try and show a bit of joy.

-OK.

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Right, I'd better shoot off.

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Let me know how it goes at the hospital.

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-Bye!

-Bye!

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Al, come on, mate. We're all on the same team.

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If any of you laugh...

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Oh, come on!

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Given how you dress on a day-to-day basis, I'm amazed you even care.

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Come on. It's just a bit of fun.

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Where did you even get one his size?

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Mrs Beasley from the church,

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she has a husband of similar proportions.

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She has loaned it me for the day.

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Come on, Dr Haskey.

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I think you look very fetching.

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-I'm taking it off.

-Oh, no, no, no, no!

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No, look, come on. It is actually quite chic.

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I mean, it's better than Sid's monstrosity.

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Really?

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Oh come on, Al. You can downplay it all you want,

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but we know now that you've a flair for the theatrical.

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First, your star turn as Scrooge, and now this.

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-This?

-You want the adulation, don't you?

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You want the compliments for wearing it so well.

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Don't be coy with me, I will not let this go to your head.

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No, I suppose not.

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Do you really think his jumper's better than mine?

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Actually, I think it's completely hideous and totally vile.

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Which is why we should keep him in it all day.

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I like your jumper.

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Right, where's the list?

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What do we need?

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Crackers and nuts.

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Ah-ha-ha, that sounds like us.

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So, milk, butter, veg, good stinky cheese.

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Mince pies or plum pudding?

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Oh. Mmm...

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-Both?

-We shall see.

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Where are the vouchers?

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-PHONE RINGS

-I don't know.

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Oh, eh, I'll get that. I think that they are out with the post.

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Hello?

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Speaking.

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There's one here for...satsumas?

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OK.

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Um, thank you. Yeah, bye.

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Who was that?

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The hospital.

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Right, so I'm going to arrange an appointment for you

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to see a rheumatologist and in the meantime...

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HE STIFLES LAUGHTER

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Look, it's just a jumper. OK?

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HE LAUGHS

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-Thank you, Doctor.

-It's Christmas time.

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-What do you want?

-Oh, a fine-liner, Valerie's only got biros.

-Mm.

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-So, er, what was that all about?

-This jumper and this stupid day.

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-I've already given one patient an epileptic fit.

-Really?

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Cos you do know photosensitive epilepsy

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-is actually quite rare in epileptics.

-Oh, my days.

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-You're joking. Ha-ha.

-It's a monstrosity.

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Is it really upsetting your patients?

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Mr Fenwick complained.

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-Mr Fenwick is a blind man.

-SIDNEY LAUGHS

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I thought Zara was supposed to have taste.

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Yeah, well. She's... You know.

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You know what?

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You know what she's like.

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Sidney.

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Look, I'm more scared of her than I am of you...

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I could check your entire internet history

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-in about less five seconds flat.

-OK, OK, OK! whoa, whoa...

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She lied so that you'd wear it, OK?

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She lied?

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Right, that's it.

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OK, but you didn't hear that from me, OK? Oh...

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Now, enough is enough is enough!

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I am not doing this any more! It's inhumane.

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Now that one I like.

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-What one?

-That jumper, that's how you do it. Kitsch, bold, colourful.

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-Bit new rave in a way, isn't it?

-New what in a way?

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Claudia Sims. Hi.

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Not many men can pull that off. Bravo.

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You were saying something was inhumane.

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I wasn't...

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Wha... Say again?

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INDISTINCT VOICES IN BACKGROUND

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SIREN WAILS

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Mum!

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-It's going to be all right.

-What's happening?

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I don't know, but I'm going to find out for you. She's in the best place possible.

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Excuse me, er... PHONE RINGS IN BACKGROUND

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I think Zara's setting me up.

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She probably went to school with her,

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they played hockey together or something like that.

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I don't think Zara cares that much, to be honest.

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-Not to go to any effort, anyway.

-No, good point.

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And when Zara's out to get you,

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it happens before you know what's going on.

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I mean, it's obviously a honey trap. So what? Jimmi?

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You think Jimmi called up a beautiful woman

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just to trick you into wearing that jumper?

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No, he'd try and chat her up himself.

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So that leaves...

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you, Sidney.

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Oh, my goodness, the game's afoot.

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Why would you do that? I thought that we were friends.

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Exactly, why would I do that?

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That would be cruel. I wouldn't do that to you.

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Yeah. And you're not nearly cunning enough,

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besides which, you know that if you tried anything like this,

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I would just destroy you. So...

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I don't know. Valerie?

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Have you ever considered, that maybe,

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just maybe, that she meant what she said

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and just wanted to pay you a compliment?

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You need to stop selling yourself short, mate.

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Look, I know that it can be intimidating sometimes...

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All right...

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The minute I start taking romantic advice from you

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is the moment that all hope is gone, and it hasn't, OK?

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I still have some dignity left.

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Fine. But if she did mean it,

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you're never going to know that unless you get out there and talk to her again.

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-Is she still here?

-Yeah.

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She's with Tash. Actually, I need to go and finish that appointment.

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So just make sure you're out there and talking to her. Yeah?

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Oh, yeah, it's easy to give out advice, isn't it?

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What's wrong with my advice?

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When was the last time you had a successful encounter with a member of the opposite sex?

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-Well...

-Never, that's when!

-Look, that's not the point,

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the point is you'll never know unless you get out there and talk to her, so...

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DOOR CLOSES

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AL SIGHS

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Let's get him sat down.

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Come on, sit down. That's it.

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All right. I'll get some help.

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Yeah, and hurry up, he's making a mess.

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Does it not worry you, that you've got yourself so drunk,

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that you didn't even realise that you'd been stabbed in the backside? Mm?

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What were you arguing about anyway?

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No, on second thoughts, do you know what? I don't care.

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"Good will to all men", you ever heard of that?

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All right. They won't be a minute.

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How are we doing, Archie?

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It's a good job you had your back to her, eh?

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-HE SINGS WEAKLY

-# On the first day of Christmas

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# My true love gave to me

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# A knife and fork in my bum cheek! #

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-Oh, pack it in, will you?

-Come on, Sarge. It's a bit funny.

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Is it? No, it's not funny, not when you've been here as often as I have.

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I mean, brawling is ridiculous at the best of times,

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but at Christmas? For Pete's sake.

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All right, guys.

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THE CONSTABLE WHISTLES

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-What are you doing?

-Shush.

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-You're just standing there.

-I know. Ignore me.

-It's quite off-putting.

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-Look, Valerie, can you mind your own business, please?

-Mm-hm.

-Nosey.

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-OK, well, um, take care now.

-Thanks, bye.

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Oh. Hello again.

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Oh, it's the man with the shocking jumper.

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Oh, you know, it compensates for the rest of me.

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-You know, too much of a good thing, otherwise.

-Excellent strategy.

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And it stops the staff gawking at me all day,

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-which in turn increases productivity.

-Yes, I bet.

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Well, you know, it's a good use of Christmas jumper day.

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Oh. Is that what day it is? And nobody told me.

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You dress like this all the time, I guess?

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Totally, yeah, I'll wear it to the gym.

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-Get my ashtanga on.

-SHE LAUGHS

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I knew you'd be funny in real life.

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-Real life?

-Yes. Sorry, confession time.

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I saw you in the play last night as Scrooge. Loved it.

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Oh, no.

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Valerie, we've got another fan in the building.

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Can you escort her to the front door, please?

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What can I say? You're a star.

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Not really.

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It's far less scary than it sounds, I promise you.

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And for it to happen in hospital, it's absolutely the best thing.

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-Hiya. I didn't think you weren't coming till later.

-Um...

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It's Jackie.

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We're still waiting to hear from the doctors,

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but she's in good hands, isn't she?

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Oh, she's in the best place, definitely.

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-What are you doing here?

-Oh, you know. The usual.

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Drunken boyfriend and girlfriend

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having an argument in the boozer over the names of Santa's reindeers,

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-so she stabbed him in the backside with the pub cutlery.

-Nice.

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Standard day.

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Well, there was my star turn in the school's production

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of Old MacDonald's farm.

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Mrs Burke said that my sheep was the best she'd ever seen,

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and she grew up on a farm.

0:13:440:13:46

Well, there you go. Have you always been interested in performing arts?

0:13:460:13:49

No, actually I'm an inventor. Medical innovation.

0:13:490:13:53

A mad scientist?

0:13:530:13:55

I prefer genius scientist, cos that's closer to the truth.

0:13:550:13:57

Ah, goes without saying. So you are a man of many talents, then?

0:13:570:14:00

Be I ever so humble.

0:14:000:14:02

Mm. Why, er, Letherbridge? Why not Zurich or Harley Street?

0:14:020:14:06

Well, I...

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I guess I'm not interested by money.

0:14:080:14:10

But you live here, right?

0:14:100:14:12

So, you know, what's your reason?

0:14:120:14:14

Erm...

0:14:140:14:16

Chicken dhansak at the Babur Balti.

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-Shut up.

-Mm.

0:14:190:14:21

That's the Midlands' best kept secret.

0:14:220:14:24

SHE LAUGHS I grew up here.

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I've tried living in other places, but I don't know,

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my compass just always swings back.

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(It's like it's my secret base.)

0:14:310:14:32

You know, wherever I am in the world,

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I always feel like it's always going to be the same on my return.

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Totally.

0:14:370:14:38

Between you and me,

0:14:380:14:40

-I kind like being a big fish in a small pond.

-Oh, yeah.

0:14:400:14:43

Absolutely, I get that.

0:14:430:14:45

I know however I'm doing in the world,

0:14:450:14:48

I can always impress my cousins over on Greenbank.

0:14:480:14:50

AL LAUGHS

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Yeah, the old coin behind the ear trick goes down really well.

0:14:510:14:55

SHE GIGGLES

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So, erm...

0:14:560:14:58

Is it you on your own, Dr Haskey?

0:14:580:15:01

Great woman behind the great man?

0:15:010:15:04

Mrs Dr Haskey?

0:15:040:15:06

Sarge, Archie's about ready to make a statement.

0:15:090:15:11

-It can wait, though. I'll give you a minute.

-Cheers.

0:15:110:15:15

-Why haven't we heard anything yet? It's bad news, isn't it?

-No.

0:15:150:15:19

-No, it's course not.

-It's a busy time of year, that's all.

0:15:190:15:21

Let me go and chase them up, see what I can find out.

0:15:210:15:24

I forgot her scarf.

0:15:280:15:30

I was so worried.

0:15:300:15:32

It's OK to be worried.

0:15:340:15:36

Doesn't do any good, though.

0:15:370:15:39

People are pretty strong, you know.

0:15:400:15:42

Especially when they've got a reason to pull through.

0:15:420:15:44

Imagine how much you would fight to see your mum again.

0:15:440:15:48

But she will fight twice as hard as that, believe me.

0:15:490:15:52

Really?

0:15:520:15:54

Really.

0:15:550:15:56

It's what parents do.

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And it could've made me millions,

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but instead it was my gift to the world.

0:16:080:16:11

I gave the whole thing away for free,

0:16:110:16:13

the whole kit and caboodle.

0:16:130:16:15

That is brilliant and benevolent too.

0:16:150:16:18

Mm.

0:16:180:16:19

Oh, wow, look at the time. I'm sorry, I've kept you ages.

0:16:190:16:22

-No, no, it's OK.

-Mm.

0:16:220:16:24

Um, what are you doing this afternoon?

0:16:240:16:27

I've got the afternoon off

0:16:270:16:29

and I was going to see Gremlins at the Greenbank cinema.

0:16:290:16:32

It's made in 1984,

0:16:320:16:33

and it's probably the second best Christmas film...

0:16:330:16:35

-BOTH:

-..after Die Hard.

0:16:350:16:37

-SHE LAUGHS

-Yippee-ki-yay.

0:16:370:16:39

No. Thank you, I shouldn't.

0:16:390:16:42

Oh, OK.

0:16:420:16:44

Er, listen, I should...

0:16:440:16:46

probably come clean.

0:16:460:16:48

Come...

0:16:490:16:50

Of course.

0:16:530:16:55

You were put up to this. Right, who was it? Was it Jimmi? Hm?

0:16:550:16:58

No, I don't know who Jimmi is.

0:16:580:17:01

Nobody's put me up to this.

0:17:010:17:03

You're a photographer?

0:17:070:17:09

I'm scouting for a fashion campaign

0:17:090:17:12

and I'm looking for "the man on the street."

0:17:120:17:15

Characterful, confident, bold.

0:17:150:17:18

And that man is me.

0:17:180:17:20

Well, I'm looking for somebody who's at ease with himself

0:17:200:17:23

and comfortable with how he looks and is unabashed about it.

0:17:230:17:27

You fit the bill, don't you?

0:17:270:17:29

This isn't my jumper.

0:17:290:17:31

You wear it well.

0:17:310:17:33

Look, I'm sorry if I've misled you or anything.

0:17:330:17:38

I tend to get carried away listening to people.

0:17:380:17:42

And when you find a great subject, who can engage with,

0:17:420:17:46

it's wonderful.

0:17:460:17:47

Listen, you should try meeting some of the models I talk to.

0:17:470:17:50

It's like talking to a brick wall.

0:17:500:17:53

Keep the card.

0:17:530:17:55

Think about it.

0:17:550:17:57

OK.

0:17:570:17:58

I'll see you out.

0:17:580:17:59

Well, see you soon, I hope.

0:18:020:18:04

Maybe.

0:18:040:18:06

Psst! Psst!

0:18:060:18:07

She wasn't that good looking.

0:18:130:18:15

So? Did you get her number?

0:18:180:18:20

A gentleman never tells.

0:18:200:18:21

Jack and Immie will wind each other up and they will argue like

0:18:260:18:29

cat and dog and you'll think that they hate each other,

0:18:290:18:31

but they don't. That's just the way they are.

0:18:310:18:34

But if you do have to take sides, my money is on Immie.

0:18:340:18:37

She takes after her mum.

0:18:370:18:39

-You'll get on really well.

-Really?

0:18:390:18:41

Yeah, really.

0:18:410:18:43

I don't quite know how, but they've both turned out good.

0:18:430:18:47

I miss them.

0:18:470:18:48

It's going to be great to have them at home.

0:18:480:18:51

What do you think's happened to my mum?

0:18:510:18:54

It's best not to guess.

0:18:540:18:56

Always wait till you know for sure.

0:18:560:18:58

She could be dead, couldn't she?

0:18:590:19:01

-WALKY-TALKY:

-8256 to 7244. Assistance required.

0:19:010:19:04

A&E reception.

0:19:040:19:05

I need to go.

0:19:060:19:08

You stay here. Wait for Karen, yeah?

0:19:080:19:11

I'm on my way.

0:19:110:19:12

I'll smash your head in!

0:19:150:19:17

Get off!

0:19:170:19:18

Hey!

0:19:180:19:20

Bren?

0:19:200:19:21

So what did you guys talk about?

0:19:340:19:36

Why is it such a big deal?

0:19:360:19:38

Maybe it's some sort of a fetish.

0:19:380:19:40

No.

0:19:400:19:41

Maybe Al's just interesting and she enjoyed his conversation.

0:19:410:19:44

Exactly.

0:19:440:19:46

She wasn't into me, that's for sure.

0:19:460:19:48

But she's into ale and Star Wars?

0:19:480:19:50

What is so crazy about a lady liking Al?

0:19:500:19:52

Why does there have to be some catch?

0:19:520:19:54

Because there was a catch, OK?

0:19:540:19:57

And as much as I appreciate the chorus of support, friends,

0:19:570:20:01

she had an agenda.

0:20:010:20:03

She was a photographer looking for models.

0:20:030:20:06

She didn't mention that to me.

0:20:080:20:09

Yeah, well, she was barking up the wrong tree here.

0:20:090:20:12

So there you go, there's your punchline.

0:20:120:20:14

Al, I don't think anyone meant it like that.

0:20:140:20:16

Look, it's me, OK?

0:20:160:20:17

There's always a punchline.

0:20:170:20:19

Come on, you'll be OK.

0:20:250:20:26

Sit down. Do you want a coffee or something?

0:20:260:20:28

Bren, do you want a brew?

0:20:280:20:30

You!

0:20:300:20:32

How you going to get rid of me this time, then, eh?

0:20:320:20:34

No-one's trying to get rid of you. We'll sort this out. Just sit down.

0:20:340:20:37

Think you're being all kind, don't you? Act all nice.

0:20:370:20:41

Not your problem!

0:20:410:20:42

Let us help you. Sit down.

0:20:420:20:43

Go to hell!

0:20:430:20:45

Pigs! You're all liars!

0:20:450:20:47

8256 to control.

0:20:480:20:50

-WALKY-TALKY:

-Control received.

0:20:510:20:53

I thought you were going to see Gremlins?

0:20:530:20:56

Why bother?

0:20:570:20:58

Got my own Christmas horror show happening right here.

0:20:580:21:01

-Don't be like that, mate.

-What do you want?

0:21:010:21:03

We're all about to do that group photo,

0:21:030:21:05

you know, in our Christmas jumpers. So do you want to...?

0:21:050:21:07

What, so I can look back and treasure this day forever?

0:21:070:21:10

No, thank you.

0:21:100:21:11

Look, I know the day you take romantic advice from

0:21:110:21:13

me is the day hell freezes over...

0:21:130:21:16

And pigs fly through it.

0:21:160:21:17

But she spoke to you for ages and she didn't have to.

0:21:170:21:20

I mean, she could have just said what she did and left.

0:21:200:21:23

But she must have liked talking to you, and from what I could see,

0:21:230:21:26

you seemed really upbeat, you were totally yourself.

0:21:260:21:31

The door's behind you, mate.

0:21:310:21:33

As for this whole punchline nonsense,

0:21:330:21:36

no-one's thinking that, mate. Least of all, her.

0:21:360:21:39

It's the big wooden obelisk behind you.

0:21:390:21:41

It's got a handle and my name on the other side.

0:21:410:21:44

Fine.

0:21:440:21:45

Try and fob me off, try and pass me on.

0:21:510:21:54

Don't need your money! Stuff your money!

0:21:540:21:57

Bren, you need to stop this, now, OK?

0:21:570:21:58

Pigs!

0:21:580:22:00

I just want to see my girl. But you!

0:22:000:22:03

Put it down! Put it down now!

0:22:030:22:05

I've got nothing now!

0:22:050:22:06

I'm warning you!

0:22:060:22:07

Stop telling me what to do!

0:22:070:22:09

-SHE SCREAMS

-Drop it!

0:22:090:22:11

OK, you ready?

0:22:150:22:17

I'm coming in.

0:22:170:22:18

CAMERA CLICKS

0:22:180:22:19

-The light's gone off.

-Honestly!

-Do we have to do it again?

0:22:190:22:23

-OK, this is the one.

-OK, one more, one more. All right?

0:22:230:22:27

This is the one.

0:22:270:22:28

I am so sorry!

0:22:280:22:30

-It's very unhygienic. I'm so sorry.

-We'll have to do it again.

0:22:300:22:35

-Oh, come on.

-Merry Christmas.

0:22:350:22:36

-Can you just be quick, please?

-Well, I wouldn't have to keep doing

0:22:360:22:39

it if you'd get it right in the first place. Emma, move in a bit.

0:22:390:22:41

-If I get any closer, I'll be in Valerie's pocket.

-Sid, lower.

0:22:410:22:44

-But if I...

-No, that's too low!

-Come on!

-Oh, give me a chance.

0:22:440:22:47

For goodness' sake, people, this is a complete sham!

0:22:470:22:51

If you want a proper photograph doing,

0:22:510:22:54

I'm the man to talk to.

0:22:540:22:56

What did they say?

0:23:050:23:06

Tell me.

0:23:080:23:10

She had a stroke.

0:23:100:23:11

You all right?

0:23:310:23:32

All in a day's work, right?

0:23:330:23:35

You wouldn't be saying that if she would have stuck you.

0:23:350:23:38

Guess not, no.

0:23:390:23:40

I don't understand how they can afford to get like that.

0:23:420:23:45

Do anything for a fix.

0:23:450:23:46

-We've seen it before.

-Yeah.

0:23:460:23:49

Only not with her.

0:23:490:23:50

Yeah, first time for everything.

0:23:510:23:53

What a waste.

0:23:550:23:56

We should let Ayesha know.

0:23:560:23:58

I'll do it.

0:23:580:24:00

Someone needs to break it to her gently, you know?

0:24:000:24:03

It's not what you want to hear at Christmas, is it?

0:24:030:24:05

How long is this actually going to take, Haskey?

0:24:480:24:51

Patience.

0:24:510:24:52

You know what, Zara, a Christmas jumper is supposed to be colourful.

0:24:520:24:55

You look like the Milk Tray Man.

0:24:550:24:57

You're on.

0:24:570:24:59

Right.

0:24:590:25:00

OK, guys?

0:25:000:25:02

Work it!

0:25:030:25:04

Oh, you're back early.

0:25:120:25:14

Everything all right?

0:25:140:25:15

Yeah.

0:25:150:25:16

What is it? What's happened?

0:25:160:25:18

Nothing, just a rough day at work.

0:25:180:25:20

You can talk to me, you know.

0:25:200:25:22

I know. Just drunks trying to ruin Christmas, you know.

0:25:220:25:25

Well, we are going to have the best one ever, so don't sweat it.

0:25:250:25:28

-I won't.

-Tell you what?

0:25:280:25:31

As you've been such a good boy, you can open your present now.

0:25:310:25:34

SONG: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

0:25:340:25:37