The Best Days of Your Life Doctors

MUSIC: Perfect by Fairground Attraction

That all sounds extremely healthy.

There you go.

-Good!

-He's amazing.

So, er...have you decided on a name yet?

-Yes.

-No.

It's under discussion.

I'm not calling my son Dudley.

It was my dad's name.

And he spent time in prison, so...

Seven days for not paying the fine

when he was caught watching Bargain Hunt without a TV licence.

-It's not like he killed someone.

-Are we done here?

Er...yeah. Everything seems fine.

Um...so, how's the studying going?

-According to plan.

-Mm-hm. Good.

Um...it can be hard, you know, balancing a new baby with uni work.

Oh, I've got it all mapped out.

I'll move to studying part-time from March.

And I'm going to stay home while Melanie is at lectures

and head into the office to catch up when she gets back.

We'll be like ships that pass in the night.

You know that babies don't always follow parents' plans,

however well-organised they are?

Well, mine will have to.

-Are you free this lunchtime?

-Me? Why?

We're having our wedding photos taken.

Didn't you get married a month ago?

-Yes.

-Yeah, and we're retaking the photos today.

I'd love to have one with the bump and my midwife.

Oh, yeah, well, it was a shame that I didn't make the ceremony,

but, um...isn't it going to be a bit weird having me in the photos?

Not at all. There's several other imperfections we'll be correcting.

When I saw the photos, I realised

how badly some people's outfits clashed.

Plus, the weather wasn't what we'd hoped for, so...

And, most importantly, someone wasn't smiling properly.

I'm not very photogenic.

Anyway, please say you'll come.

All right, this is Mr Wilson.

Can you do obs every 15 minutes?

I've done most of the other tests

-and I've just got to go into a meeting now.

-Mm-hm.

-So, if you can take this?

-Yeah.

-OK?

-Yeah, I'll do that.

OK. So there's other tests and I'll do the rest.

-OK.

-Thank you.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Oh! Dr Carter! Thank goodness!

I don't think anyone has ever been quite so pleased to see me.

I am about to go crazy with boredom.

I have done every crossword puzzle,

every Sudoku puzzle in my book,

including the super-advanced level.

Oooh, no mean feat.

If I cannot get out this bed, I am about to die with boredom.

Right. Well, Ruhma and I have checked your house, it's fine,

and I've brought you some clothes.

-Including my laptop?

-I didn't think you'd be needing it.

Oh! That is the most important thing!

How am I supposed to do my work without it?!

You're here to rest and recuperate, not work.

How I choose to spend my time is up to me.

Look, perhaps if you are passing by later, you could...

I don't think that's a good idea.

SHE SIGHS

MUSIC: Perfect by Fairground Attraction

We have to make sure he takes a photo of Auntie Deidre and Uncle Peter together.

I thought they were divorced.

I'm sure they can stand next to each for 30 seconds without killing one another.

It's not too much to ask, is it?

-Didn't she take out a restraining order against him?

-Wrong uncle.

-The bride and groom!

-My maid of honour!

-How are you, Melanie?

-Oh, anxious.

-I just hope we can get these photos right this time.

-We will!

-Hi, Lawrence.

-Carrie.

I was expecting you to have a bigger smile than that after your honeymoon.

I think I wore him out.

Yeah, we did a lot of walking.

I'm sure.

You don't think I'm being silly, do you,

-making everyone do this all over again?

-Of course not.

You've been planning your wedding since we were children.

It's only natural for you to want your record of it to be perfect.

-Yeah.

-THEY GIGGLE

It is a waste of my valuable time, just sitting here, doing nothing.

It's not forever.

Well, that is easy for you to say.

Mrs Tembe, a strangulated hernia is a serious condition.

You're not here because of a nasty cold.

I know that my body needs to rest,

but there is nothing wrong with my mind. It is as sharp as a tick.

Well, you need something more sedate to focus on.

Re-reading the works of Charles Dickens.

How I wish I had the time!

Well, if you would like to plough through Great Expectations,

then, by all means, do so.

But that is not a solution to my problem.

You're going to need something to keep you entertained.

You're not going to be moving around much for the next five or six weeks.

What?! Five or six weeks?!

-It's possible.

-Oh!

Well, perhaps if I did some light admin work?

Nothing too strenuous.

I've spoken to Daniel and Zara and they agree with me,

you are to have nothing to do with the Mill

until you're completely recovered.

-But...

-I'm sorry.

I think the hat might be the problem.

Could you remove it? I thought you might be able to pull it off,

but when I saw the original photos, it just doesn't look right.

I'll take that for you.

There, that's better! Oh, do your thing.

-Thanks for coming.

-How's it going?

Melanie's just getting started.

If you stick around, you might get to see her bloodied claws,

especially if things don't go according to plan.

Can you imagine what she was like when she used to be an events' organiser?

Oh, you're here! Great!

-I'll get changed into my dress and then we can get started.

-OK.

So, er...were you bothered with the original photos?

I'm bothered that she was bothered.

Ah! Very diplomatic.

I'm happy with the memories I have of the day itself,

but Melanie needs something she can touch,

something she can show people.

Well, hopefully the baby will fulfil that role when he comes.

I've four long months until then.

In the meantime, if Melanie wants perfect photos,

she can have perfect photos.

No! No, that doesn't look right.

Anything else you need, apart from the laptop?

SHE SIGHS

I'd best be going.

That was a short visit!

You know how it is, things to do.

You have an afternoon free

and you're busier than when you're at work.

-Is there something wrong, Dr Carter?

-No, not really.

Is it something I've said? I know I've been going on about the laptop.

Have you been seen by a Charles Gupta?

Er...no, a Clive Albright. I told you yesterday.

Oh, of course, yeah. I didn't know Charles was working here,

I just bumped into him in the corridor.

-Who is he?

-We worked together when we were starting out.

He was very, um...competitive,

and worse still, he usually won.

-What do you mean?

-Um...everything seemed to fall into his lap.

Perfect looks, perfect family, perfect marriage.

It is not like you to begrudge a man happiness.

He used to rub my nose in it.

He used to brag about his higher surgical success rate.

He even knocked me off the top of the hospital squash league

and boasted about it for weeks.

Well, that must have been very traumatic for you.

It seems quite trivial now, it was quite demoralising at the time.

So...you are running away before he sees you.

I'm not running away, I don't want to...

..see his smug face up close again.

Well, er...well, thank you for bringing my things.

Mm. Ruhma and I will come and see you tomorrow.

-And thank you again, Dr Carter.

-My pleasure.

HE SIGHS

-Bye.

-Bye.

Heston?!

Charles.

There, beautiful.

It's nice he gets to be in the photos, too.

-What is it?

-Nothing.

Melanie?

I'm thinking of all the other people who still won't be in the photos.

All the people that matter are.

Yeah. At least you've never let me down.

That's what friends are for.

Shall we go and get these photos right?

Yeah.

There is one other thing.

-What is it?

-Your shoes.

-What's wrong with them?

-They don't look right.

But it's OK, I think I've got a spare pair you can wear.

-Oh.

-Is that a problem?

-No, of course not.

-Great.

OK.

Well, then they offered me the post here.

-Right.

-Head of General Surgery.

Bit of a sideways step. It's hardly your style.

Well, there was nothing left for me in Sheffield.

So, I thought, why not?

Change is as good as a rest, and all that.

A bit more glamorous than being a humble GP, isn't it?

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

I heard you say that many times.

It's just different, that's all.

Well, I'd better be going.

Tell you what, we should get a coffee.

Yes, let's do that sometime.

No time like the present.

I've just finished my rounds.

Why don't we just pop down to the cafe and have a proper catch-up?

What do you say?

OK.

Hey, I brought your lunch.

Yeah, well, that is not your job.

-I like to help out.

-Really?

Look, I'll take it away again, if you'd prefer?

No, it's fine.

What were you up to?

Er...brainstorming.

Should I fetch a doctor?

You really are not funny.

I thought, I have so much time on my hands

that I would appraise how things work at this hospital.

And how do they work?

Very poorly.

Since I was a patient here last, things have gone sharply downhill.

You know, the cleaners here,

they belong to a very expensive agency,

which seems needlessly wasteful.

-And they often don't show up.

-Really?

And similarly, in the afternoons,

there seems to be lots of healthcare assistants

just sitting around, doing nothing.

And in the mornings, when they are needed most,

there are very few on duty.

Is that a list of the problems you've found?

Yes. Well, without my laptop,

I have to write on anything I can get my hands on.

Hey, if it's contraband you want, I'm your man.

This is serious!

Someone needs to step up and drag this hospital into the 21st century!

Once I have finished my research, I am going straight to the managers.

Right.

Oh, good Lord!

I think the yellow stuff is meant to be cheese, but it's hard to tell.

And food is going to be number one on my list!

How are we patients supposed to get better

if they are serving us this sludge with no nutritional value?

I tell you what, I know about a lot of things that go on here

which the powers-that-be are oblivious to.

The stories I could tell you.

Really?

Like what?

SQUAWKING

I want one of the three of us.

Me, the midwife and my bump.

And make sure you get the fire in.

Are you enjoying married life?

Yes.

I'm so pleased for the pair of you.

I love her.

Of course. You married her. Huh!

-I mean it.

-And perhaps if you could...?

Excellent! We'll do group photos next, if you can wait?

-Oh, OK.

-Mum?

Mum? Dad? Can you come over here, please?

Let me go and get the coffees in. What are you having?

-I'll get them.

-No, no, I insist.

Besides, I owe you something of an apology.

-What for?

-The way I treated you when we were younger.

I was insufferable.

Tea's fine.

Hopefully, it won't take too long. I don't want to keep you from work.

Oh, it's fine. I don't have to be back yet.

I just want to make sure Melanie has everything

exactly the way she wants it this time. I know it's strange.

No, it's a little different, perhaps, but why not?

I just hope that you two are going to be happy.

We will be.

She's bright, beautiful, brilliant.

What more could I hope for?

Carrie is Melanie's best friend.

She's been treated badly by men in the past, so I just...

It's none of my business.

I keep an eye on her.

Make sure she's not mixing with anyone...unsuitable.

I thought you'd invited everyone that was here.

We did, but that doesn't mean I trust them all.

Carrie looks like she can look after herself.

I just wish she'd stop flirting with everyone.

Lawrence? It's normal to have doubts.

A new marriage and a baby on the way...

-HE SIGHS

-Yeah.

Eurgh!

Aren't you going to eat that?

No. I am not sure I can put my body through it.

It has already been through one traumatic ordeal.

-I'll have it.

-No, you will not!

It's barely fit for human consumption.

In fact, I would like to go and see the chef.

Good luck with that. We don't really have a chef.

Well, whoever is responsible for whatever that is.

Whoa! Wait there!

I am not staying in bed!

-I want to go to the kitchen.

-I'll do you a deal.

Let me find you a wheelchair and I'll take you there.

I do not require a wheelchair, I'm not an invalid!

Maybe I just enjoy pushing them.

Go on, make my day.

Yeah, very well.

You will not get into trouble?

Only if we get caught.

Could I get a copy of the photos?

Everyone will be able to get copies,

as soon as Melanie approves them, anyway.

Why did you marry Mel, if you weren't sure?

I am sure.

-Are you?

-You don't need to worry about Carrie.

Actually, it's you I'm worried about.

Nothing's going to happen with her.

I've already humiliated myself there.

What do you mean?

The night before the wedding, I told Carrie how I felt.

How I thought I felt.

She wasn't interested.

You do seem very easy together.

That's the stupid thing. She won't stop toying with me.

Even now.

Melanie is having your baby.

And I'll be there for him. For Melanie.

This whole thing with Carrie, it'll blow over.

It was a moment of stupidity.

I thought she was leading me on,

and I was having last-minute nerves about the wedding.

I was a fool.

Can we have everyone over here, please, ready for the group shots?

We'd better go.

-Oh!

-Carrie!

These look like they've not been used for a very long time.

They haven't. Mrs T, I'd like you to meet the chef.

He's not as sweary as Gordon Ramsay, but he does the job.

What, no food is prepared here at all?!

Nope, the muck they serve is shipped in, heated up, and shovelled out.

If the patients are lucky, they manage to swallow it before

they realise what it tastes like.

This is appalling.

I think you've sprained it,

but we need to make sure you haven't broken anything.

You need to go to the hospital, possibly have an X-ray.

I can take you.

Actually, you're busy. You know, the wedding thing.

It's all right. I can go later.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Surely she can stay for the photos? It won't take long.

I can get a stool or something for her to sit on.

She's been my dearest friend since we were children.

My sister decided she liked a needle more than her family,

but Carrie was always there for me.

I can't imagine these photos without her.

Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere.

Lawrence, go and get Carrie something to sit on.

We'll have to try and clean the coffee off your dress.

I'm sorry. I didn't want to cause a scene.

The most important thing is that you're OK.

I'm just embarrassed. I don't want to let you down.

Oh, you haven't.

At the time I just didn't realise what I was doing.

I thought I was invulnerable.

As if things would stay the same way forever.

You didn't mind blowing your own trumpet.

I know, I know.

But there's nothing quite so crushing for one's ego

as having your wife leave you for a younger model.

-Ah.

-From then on, things just snowballed. My career plateaued.

Suddenly there were brighter, bolder, younger doctors

snapping at my heels.

-And your children?

-They all moved on.

I get the odd call from them, usually when they want money,

but I barely see them any more.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's all a common enough story, I suppose.

But it's painful when it happens to you.

It's like some kind of cosmic justice.

Cosmic justice?

The way I treated you when things seemed to be going my way.

When I look back now...

..I'm so ashamed.

You weren't that bad.

You're kind, but we both know you're lying.

Well, you could be a bit difficult at times,

but that comes with the territory.

You don't get to be a top surgeon by being a wallflower.

There's no excuse for the way I treated you.

I don't think I ever understood that you were a real person

with thoughts and feelings of your own.

I'm so sorry.

Apology accepted.

I'm sorry if I was a bit abrasive earlier.

You had every reason to be.

Anyway, how have things been going for you?

Oh, things are...

Things are perfect.

I've got everything I want.

Just do it without me.

Don't be silly. You're my best friend.

I can't imagine not having you in these photos.

-I don't want to keep everyone waiting.

-Lawrence will be back soon.

Once we've got something for you to sit on, we can start.

I wasn't planning on upstaging her like this.

Don't worry. Accidents happen.

It's these stupid shoes she gave me. I don't wear heels much these days.

Ah-ha! Let me get rid of those silly things.

It's all right, why don't you get yourself ready for the photos?

I don't understand.

They have everything they need to make fresh, tasty food.

If they went about it the right way, it would not cost any more.

I do not understand what has happened.

When I was here, briefly, at least the food was cooked.

New contract. This is airline food.

-Budget airline.

-Pre-packaged.

No nutritional value.

Too right. You done in here?

Mm. We really need to do something about this.

-Thank you.

-Come on. That's it.

Thanks for coming, but you can go now.

Oh, I... I thought you wanted me in the photos.

I think you were right.

It would be strange, considering you weren't at the ceremony.

And you're not really dressed for it.

If that's what you want.

Sorry to mess you about,

but I do really appreciate you taking the time to come.

Oh, by the way, those shoes that you lent Carrie,

I think the heel had been broken before.

-There was a fresh load of glue holding it together.

-Really?

It's amazing how shoddily things are made these days,

even when you pay for a decent brand.

We both know that's not true.

You could have seriously hurt her.

I really have no idea what you're talking about.

That's incredible.

Things really have fallen into place for you, haven't they?

I suppose I've been lucky.

-A loving relationship. Children?

-Not exactly.

-But you're close?

-We're getting there.

I'm jealous.

I doubt that.

The life I live now, it's very lonely.

It's hard enough to meet new people when you're our age as it is,

let alone after relocating.

But your work is clearly going well.

Not as glamorous as what you're doing.

Glamorous? I just patch people up and send them off again.

There's no chance to get what you get,

-you know, a real, deep connection with the patients.

-I do my best.

I have to say, Heston, and I hope this doesn't sound trite,

but I envy you.

You were always the better man,

you deserve to be the one who landed on his feet.

So, if you've got your coat and everything that you need...

Melanie, what was wrong with the original photos?

I told you, slight imperfections that needed correcting,

it's quite common these days.

Changing the photos doesn't change the facts.

No, but it's a start.

It'll teach that little tramp a lesson.

You know.

I heard that spineless idiot pouring his heart out to her,

the day before we got married!

Then why did you go through with it?!

Because it will work itself out.

Carrie wouldn't let anyone get close to her.

It's not in her nature.

-Are you sure about that?

-This is all a game to her.

She doesn't actually want him.

She just wants to know she could have him if she chooses.

It's how things have always been between us.

So why are you friends?

She was there for me when my sister wasn't.

That helped me forgive her for all the times

she insisted on showing me up, but this time she's gone too far.

Look, you're not teenagers. We're talking about your husband.

Look, I want a family.

And, idiot that I am,

I want him.

We all have to make compromises.

You hurt her. You didn't need to do that.

And she didn't have to hurt me.

Not again, not this time.

Now, unless you're planning on causing a scene

in front of my friends and family, then I think you should go.

Good luck.

There we go.

Now, go carefully.

I am quite capable of getting into bed myself, thank you very much.

Do you reckon you'll manage to do it before I retire?

You're a very cheeky man.

There.

Happy?

Well done.

Now, there is much to do.

We need to formulate a plan.

Well, I reckon I'm more the foot-soldier end of things.

We all have our part to play.

I like your style, Mrs T,

but I hope you know what you're getting yourself into.

I am fully aware that this is going to be an uphill battle.

Nonetheless, it is a battle that needs to be fought.

I am going to arrange a meeting with the hospital management

as soon as possible.

Yeah, good luck with that.

They are going to listen to me, I can assure you.

Are you ready?

It's not going to work.

What do you mean?

-Having you sitting on that stool. It looks wrong.

-Oh...

And your dress, I can still see the coffee stains.

I mean, we don't want you looking like a homeless person, do we?

If he angles the camera up, so we can't see the stool...

No, but then it'll look cheap. I'm sorry, Carrie.

What's the point of trying to take the perfect shot

when you're sat there like that?

Don't you agree, Lawrence?

Yes... OK.

You gave me the stupid shoes!

I assumed you knew how to walk in high heels.

You've certainly had plenty of practice. Can someone help her?

Pull a stunt like that again and your life won't be worth living.

OK, everyone, let's do this properly.

Cheese!

# Pe-e-e-erfect. #

Well, it's been a pleasure to see you again, Heston.

No hard feelings, I trust?

-The past.

-You're a good man.

-Charles?

-Yes?

Would you like to come to dinner one evening?

-Why, I'd love to.

-Good.

There's someone I'd like you to meet.

Well done.

OK, two more, then we're done.

How can anyone make toast that sags?

It's a skill.

I just know I'd spend all of my time wondering, why me?

When there's so many other gorgeous women around...like you.

Don't!