Parlez-Moi D'Amour Doctors

# Dear, I fear we're facing a problem

# You love me no longer, I know

# And maybe there is nothing that I can do

# To make you to. # SHE CHUCKLES

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

Here's a...here's a cuppa.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Interesting reading material.

Touring ghost houses... You don't believe in ghosts, do you?

Of course not.

The Victorians were fascinated by the supernatural.

Even though they had real scientific advances happening right

under their noses. Interesting if you think of Darwin...

Alasdair, I don't know what you're talking about.

I bought the book from a church jumble sale.

It just helps to take my mind off things.

Fair enough.

I'm home!

Ta-da!

You see? You're not the only one who's been busy today.

You do remember we're having a dinner party this evening?

Yes. That is why I've spent my morning off cooking.

Ruhma, your fish pie is a personal favourite of mine...

I know.

But I did tell you I would sort it.

I have the perfect theme!

Well, it's too late because I have done the cooking.

But I wanted to lay on something rather special

for Charles and Mrs Tembe. I have the menu planned.

-I'm not spending any more time in the kitchen.

-You won't, I promise.

-I'll do it all, I want to!

-It's fine, Heston. OK?

Just have a quick hoover round and pick out some wine, all right?

I'll see you later.

-I thought I might as well make myself useful.

-Eh?

VACUUM BLARES Oh! Mother!

Look, we haven't had lunch yet. Let's go to the local?

I don't think so.

The menu is surprisingly good.

Well, you go on your own, then. I'll be all right here.

No...

I'll make us beans on toast or something.

I told you, I'm not hungry.

The whole point of you being here is so I can look after you

and make sure you eat.

VACUUM BLARES

Oh, I was going to wear white.

'Ah, good, so I'm on the right track.'

Oh, for pity's sake!

Oh, it's a problem?

-No, no. I wasn't talking to you...

-You sound harassed?

No, it's fine. I look forward to seeing you later.

Look, Mum, please. You don't need to do this.

I know. But I want to.

I want to talk.

What about?

Take a wild guess.

I bet you've spoken to God!

I'm not going to rise to that.

All right, let me put it another way.

I have lost my father

and I would like to talk about it, even if you don't want to.

SHE SIGHS

-Of course. I'm sorry.

-Don't be sorry.

Why don't you go through, sit on the sofa, put your feet up?

-I'll put the kettle on.

-No, I'll put kettle on.

I want you to relax in my house, yeah?

Just relax.

But where am I supposed to get a 1940s outfit at such short notice?

I'm sure you'll rise to the challenge, Mrs Tembe.

This is very disconcerting.

Not even sure where I should...

-You'll look good whatever you wear! Excuse me, I must go.

-But...

HE MUMBLES

-Tea's hot.

-Thank you.

-Let's put it...

I thought you wanted to talk?

Yes, er...can you tell me about Dad?

-What he was like?

-You know what he was like.

Sort of.

Could you maybe share a happy memory with me?

It's hard being put on the spot.

Yes, of course it is.

What about holidays?

Do you have any happy memories of holidays?

Don't think about it,

just say the first thing that comes into your head.

Estoril, Portugal.

I don't know what it's like now, but back then it was a bit surreal.

Faded splendour.

Your father and I went for a walk after dinner.

We passed all the old villas and we fantasised about what it

would be like to own one and restore it.

It's a good job he didn't.

I tell you, that's the fastest way to bankruptcy.

People go across with all these grand...

Sorry, you were talking about Estoril.

Anyway...

Further down the road,

we came across these locals hosting a neighbourhood barbecue.

They invited us, a couple of strangers, into their garden,

just like that. We'd already eaten,

but they insisted we shared their sardines, bread and local wine.

I've never tasted anything like those sardines.

And I looked across at Henry and I remember thinking how happy

he looked, talking to these kind, hospitable people.

It's funny, I can't remember that holiday.

Oh, you weren't there!

Right, I should probably pop out and get something for tea.

No, I'll do that.

Look, can you stop this, please?

I'm not helpless, Mother. I regularly do my own shopping.

Look, I'm just in the way, aren't I?

Perhaps it would be best for both of us if I just went home.

Absolutely not.

Look, it won't take me long.

Put the telly on or you can read your book, yeah? Just relax! Yeah?

Relax.

Tell me you have not binned my fish pie!

No, it's in the freezer.

Something to look forward to after a hard day's work.

Don't count your chickens!

You love Moroccan food! I've done lamb and apricot tagine.

And something for you to wear.

-Uh-huh. Your favourite colours.

-Maybe.

And...piece de resistance!

A perfect fit!

Who am I supposed to be? Calamity Jane?

One of the many things I love about you is

your wonderful sense of humour.

Our guests are coming in an hour and this place is a tip.

-Well, maybe you could help me out.

-I left a pristine kitchen.

And can you make it pristine again?

-Ha-ha.

-Ruhma, please, I have to sort out the dining room.

Does a loaded six-shooter come with this hat?

TV PLAYS QUIETLY

Hi!

So what happened to "the first one home starts dinner"?

Didn't feel up to it. Paper.

Well, they were bound to pick up on it, weren't they?

At least it's only a small article.

A lot of people won't even notice it.

-HE SCOFFS

-I can't believe you just said that.

You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I tell you what really doesn't help? Is you stating the obvious.

You haven't picked up Joe from the child-minder?

There you go again. I was just about to...

Just don't bother, Daniel!

SHE BLOWS

Heston?

I think this tagine needs a bit more fruit or honey.

It's fine, it's fine!

Come and see Rick's Cafe.

Romantic, isn't it?

# The very thought of you And I forget to do... #

OK, OK, you've made your point.

But I just don't I feel the part at the moment.

To me, you look just as beautiful in slacks ...

Slacks? Who says slacks?

-Oh, sorry, I must have had some tagine on my hand.

-What?!

-I thought you liked my sense of humour?

-Oh, very funny.

-Yeah!

Right, cocktails.

Here we go. You'll enjoy this.

Eating off trays is a naughty habit to get into.

Your father and I use to do it all the time.

This is a Haskey special.

I buy a basic margherita and then put my own topping on.

Tinned sardines?

I thought you liked sardines.

The ones in Portugal were fresh and much bigger.

These are very nice, it's just I'm really not hungry.

You have to eat, Mum. Just try one slice, yeah?

Have you got any special memories of him?

First thing that comes into your head.

He took me to a football match when I was...

What, I would've been, like, eight.

You hated football!

He tried to get you to play, but you couldn't handle losing.

I'm just not interested in sport.

You weren't interested because you didn't excel at it.

Then he took you fishing, but you said that was too boring.

Standing there for hours to catch a fish and then just throw it back in.

What's the point?

Then he took you to speedway racing,

cos he thought you might find that more exciting,

but you objected to the mud spatter.

Then there was Cubs...

Less said about that, the better.

So, what your saying is, we had nothing in common?

He did once ask me if I'd brought the right baby home.

He was joking.

-Do you think that is possible?

-No!

You had a cute little dimple. I'd have known you anywhere.

Did Dad ever have a dimple?

What?

Do I resemble him in any way, shape, or form?

I suppose not.

I'll never forget how proud he was of you,

the first time he saw you in the hospital.

He told me he'd been secretly praying for a son.

Was he proud of me later on?

When I went to med school and everything I've done?

We came to your graduation, didn't we?

You know your father,

he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve.

Can you finish this pizza? I've had enough.

Excellent choice, Charles. From the Meknes region, I believe.

Ah, so you're familiar with Moroccan wine?

Not really. Tuscany is my speciality.

I have a villa there.

How I envy that!

Impressive jacket.

Oh, thank you. And you too.

I suspected you'd be channelling Rick and didn't want to steal

your thunder. Not that I could, obviously.

Wow. Very authentic.

All my own work.

Well done. Where's Ruhma?

-She's in the kitchen finishing off.

-DOORBELL RINGS

Excuse me, Charles, I think that's our special guest.

Oh, Ruhma! Aren't you getting dressed up?

Charles Gupta, Mrs Winifred Tembe.

Delighted to meet you, Mrs Tembe.

Oh, well, the pleasure is all mine, Mr Gupta.

Is there anything I can do to help?

No, I'm just going to get changed while the rest of you have cocktails.

Champagne cocktails, like in the film.

Heston, your attention to detail is astonishing.

There's just one small thing.

I know, no second I in Americain.

No acute accent over the second E.

I hadn't noticed the I.

Goodness.

Look, I'm sorry I was so critical.

You know I'm on your side.

I just can't carry on pretending like nothing's happened, you know?

No, but it could be worse.

Sarah's not taking you to court.

No. She'll have changed her mind by now. Yeah.

Brian would have been in there, making things worse.

-I need to speak to her again.

-No, that's not a good idea.

And that ghastly little man is just feeling guilty because

-he didn't do more.

-That's exactly the point!

I wouldn't let him.

If he'd done his Heimlich Manoeuvre, maybe John Millen would still

-be alive.

-Or he could have died, anyway. Then where would you be?

Tearing yourself apart because you gave up on him.

I couldn't feel any worse than I do right now.

Well, I wouldn't respect you as much.

As it is, I'm so proud of you for stepping up.

That won't help the practice's reputation, though, is it?

Look, if Sarah doesn't prosecute...

What, no harm done? Right?

Funnily enough, I thought about a career move to Botswana.

What made you change your mind? Family, perhaps?

No, my daughter's in Australia and my son's in Canada.

I guess I must be a bit of a stick in the mud.

I am sure that is not true.

Food is on its way, so if you'd like to take a seat.

-Mrs Tembe. Charles.

-Thank you, Dr Carter.

-Love the hat!

-Thank you. I'm not sure about it.

It smells wonderful!

Compliments to the chef!

Actually, that's me.

Heston, is there no end to your talents?

Well... Please have a seat.

Your father was very interested in astrology.

Astrology!

Why can't people accept they're in control of their own destiny?

How can a constellation of stars pre-determine someone's

personality at birth?

I mean, does that make any sense to you?

SHE SIGHS

You won't want the telescope, then?

Telescope?

Hang on, did you mean astronomy?

Oh, yes, probably.

I always get those two mixed up.

I thought he'd given up on all that.

Oh, he only took it up again. One of those late-flaring hobbies.

Why didn't he tell me?

Well, he didn't take it all that seriously.

But it is something you had in common, isn't it?

Yeah...

That's something we could've shared.

Something I could hang on to.

There's no point in going on about it.

I'm sorry, but, yes, there is.

I repeat, Mum, why didn't he tell me?

He just liked looking at the stars. It was relaxing.

If you'd have got involved, it would have been...

more intense.

Did he ask you not to mention it to me?

SHE SIGHS

He just wanted to enjoy his hobby without...criticism.

You can understand that, surely.

FOOTSTEPS

I don't know what to say to you any more.

We're doctors.

This could have happened to me, it could have happened to any of

us who work at the Mill.

Treating patients can have consequences.

It's what we signed up for.

Easy to say when it's not your career on the line.

Nothing about this is easy.

And your career is not on the line.

Yet.

OK, it's early days.

But things are looking positive at the moment.

Positive?

A woman's husband has died.

I meant in terms of litigation.

This isn't a run of the mill negligence complaint, Zara.

You did your best!

Sometimes our best efforts fail.

That is hard for people to understand.

What's to understand? I had an audience.

That guy died in front of...

Where are you going?

-Out!

-Daniel!

SHE SIGHS

Mr Berwick's rounds are very entertaining.

I think his true vocation was the stage.

He is known as the Frankie Howerd of St Phil's.

-Titter ye not!

-THEY LAUGH

Oh, I nearly forgot!

I have a Casablanca trivia quiz.

Why?

Why not? Just a bit of fun.

OK, I'm game.

Excellent.

Which character in Casablanca ordered caviar?

-The one played by Sydney Greenstreet.

-No!

Oh... Signor...Maserati?

I think you know his name was Ferrari.

Anyway, it wasn't him.

Captain Citroen?

Perhaps Mr Renault?

Incorrect.

I know.

Major Heinrich Strasser ordered caviar.

Played by Conrad Veidt.

Yes, thank you, Charles.

Which character offered Rick the letters of transit

and where did he subsequently hide them?

That is two questions.

She's right. His name was Ugarte.

And Rick hid them in the piano.

Correct.

I think you're going to have to make these harder, Heston.

What about you, Ruhma? Going to take a punt?

Oh, well, no, I've not seen the film.

You've never seen Casablanca?

I know. And such a classic, too.

Yeah, such classic and I've not seen it. It's not a crime.

Well, I have the DVD. You can borrow it.

Well, thank you, Mrs Tembe.

That puts paid to the quiz. Too many spoilers!

That is a shame.

Let's have some fun with character impressions.

We've already had Frankie Howerd!

You go first.

Yes, yes.

You know he has quite a reputation in amateur dramatic circles.

"A hot dog at the ball park is better than steak at the Ritz."

I want that in writing!

I really did not know that Elvis was in this film!

-THEY LAUGH

-It's not that bad!

Very good. Excuse me.

I'm going to get pudding.

-I've whipped some cream to go with the cake.

-Ruhma...

-What's this?

-Poires belle Helene. It's a classic French dessert.

They need to be served in individual dishes with a warm, chocolate sauce.

What's wrong with my gateau?

Nothing, it's lovely.

Your skills as a chocolatier will be crucial to this.

So you want me to make the sauce?

Would you? That would be marvellous.

I'm just going to open some wine...

Ruhma?

Where did you buy that incredible outfit?

Well, if I told you, it would shatter the illusion.

You're an illusion? Oh, no!

FOOTSTEPS

Sorry. Excuse me.

Here we are, Poires belle Helene!

Oh, bravo!

We were just explaining the denouement of the film to Ruhma.

I thought you were worried about spoilers? There you go.

Yes... Anyway, the debate is whether Ilsa should have followed her heart

and stayed with Rick, rather than get on the plane with Victor Laszlo.

We're taking a vote.

I think she should have chosen Rick. The passionate affair.

Not like you to live dangerously, Mrs Tembe.

As Laszlo, I'm disappointed.

She should have stuck with Laszlo, someone she can depend on.

You wouldn't think that if you'd seen the film.

Well, it's better than being stuck with a sloppy cook.

Oh, I spent a fortune hiring this!

-Don't do that, you'll make it worse.

-I can manage, thank you.

Sorry, excuse me. I'll just go get the coffee.

She'll be back soon. It's been a long day.

Please start before your chocolate sauce gets cold.

DOOR SLAMS

Where have you been?

You look terrible.

Nowhere.

Yes, you have.

Drink?

No, I've had enough, thank you.

Just me, then.

So, Mother...

Right, this isn't easy for me to say, because I am who I am.

I've got this mate, Jimmi,

and recently Jimmi didn't tell me he was interested in Buddhism.

And when I asked him why he didn't tell me...

..he said exactly the same thing

that you said about Dad and astronomy,

that I'm too negative, too dogmatic.

And it hurt.

But I realise now that Jimmi was right.

You're right.

Dad was right.

Everybody's right, except for me.

And that is such a hard thing for me to say.

But I'm thinking I could do something about it.

And I'm hoping that you could help me...

..that maybe all of this could be the start of

a new relationship between...between you and me.

What do you think of that?

Mum?

SHE SIGHS

Ruhma, your chocolate sauce is getting cold.

Yeah, good.

Ruhma, you can't just sit in the kitchen eating cake

when we have guests!

Cake in the kitchen is better than poire in the Cafe Americain!

This is getting tiresome.

You've treated me like a galley slave.

You've patronised me, scoring points...

And you have been sulky and petulant in front of friends.

-Can you blame me?

-LOUDLY:

-Frankly...

(Yes, I can!)

You've controlled every single moment of this evening.

I said I would do this. It was my idea and I was happy to do it.

What is it about Charles?

-All this is to impress him, what are you trying to prove?

-Nothing.

Does he make you feel inadequate?

Absolutely not!

And I could do without this onslaught, thank you very much.

When you've calmed down, perhaps you'd like to re-join us.

Heston, you're doing it even now. You're patronising me!

HE SLAMS DOOR SHUT

I, uh... I think that we should go, Mr Gupta.

Let's dance first.

Is that wise?

I am still recovering from the hernia.

Not the most romantic response!

We'll take it gently, I promise.

Very well.

As you can see, I'm no Fred Astaire.

Well, I think you are doing very well.

Do you think there would ever come a day when you could call me Charles?

Mr Gupta.

I rather like the formality. It's in keeping with the theme.

Long time since I danced with anyone.

Like this, anyway.

Well, me too.

So...can we meet again?

Just the two of us?

Well...

Well, I would like that very much.

-How's your mum?

-She's doing her best. Such as it is.

I was thinking about some lunch tomorrow,

whether you'd like to join me perhaps?

How about I drop in on her?

Everything is all under control, thank you.

Where has she gone to now?

It's amazing how little she does,

enough to drive anyone round the bend.

You're round the bend!