Professor Pickering Doctors

CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK

'Oh, just a couple more, Professor.'

Tommy. My name's Tommy.

Why is Tommy's pile bigger than mine?

I'm the writer of these books!

And very good they are too, but

I'd have thought it was obvious. Tommy's the star.

At the end of the day, it's Tommy everybody's come to see.

CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK

SONG ON RADIO: Unforgettable by Nat King Cole

Hey, you two ready for school?

Yeah. Good.

THEY SING: # That's why, darling

# It's incredible

# That someone so unforgettable

# Thinks that I am unforgettable too. #

Come on, man. We'll be scarred for life.

How does she seem to you?

Pretty good. Yeah.

Maybe those girls are laying off her.

Oh, she'll be fine. You know what they're like at this age.

Thank you.

For what?

For being you.

What would I do without you?

Well, fortunately, you'll never have to find out.

SHE LAUGHS

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you, Tommy. Thank you.

Oh. How many of these have I done over the years?

Quite a few. Mm.

It can't be necessary?

There must be millions of pictures

of Professor flipping Pickering out there.

Well, if things go according to plan,

you might not have to do them for much longer.

You're going to have to tell her soon.

I know, but not now.

Ah. What are you two muttering about?

Er, my sore throat. It's not gone away.

I told you, you should have seen the GP before we came away.

Well, I didn't know it was going to hang around for so long.

This is an important tour. Personal appearances, signing sessions.

You'll need your voice in tip-top order.

Why don't I see if I can get you in with a local GP?

There isn't time.

Yes, there is.

Mill Health Centre. Five minutes away.

They're bound to be busy.

Not too busy to see you. You're Professor Pickering.

No. We're Professor Pickering.

Aren't we darling? Mm.

We have to tell her now. No.

We can't go behind her back any more.

She'll just try and stop us.

Not if we talk to her, explain things.

Look, he might only be here for just a few days.

We'll meet him first and tell her later.

Shak! We can't carry on lying.

It's just a few days.

No. It's not right. We have to tell Mum.

Tell Mum what?

OK. This is not about my birthday, is it?

Right. Explanation, now.

It's nothing.

How can it be nothing when you have something to tell me?

Alia?

I'm going to be late for school.

Right, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on.

We want to find out more about our dad.

Karen, what are you doing?

Come on, love. We're going to be late.

I don't know why we have to do this.

Yes, you do. Zara explained. You know she's right.

We don't want any last minute hiccups at panel.

I'm fed up of doing it, time and time again.

There's nothing wrong with me.

Then there's nothing to worry about. Just get in the car.

Well, shut the front door!

So what's brought this on?

Shak?

We have a right to know about our dad.

OK.

And you never mention him. It's like he doesn't exist.

I know.

That's because I don't want you to have anything to do with him.

That is all you need to know.

No. That's all you want us to know.

It's not the same thing.

We just want to see him for ourselves. See him?

Has he been in touch?

No.

Is that the truth?

That is the truth!

What about anyone else from that family? No! We just told you.

Is he right? Alia?

I need to go.

I thought you wanted to talk about your dad.

You don't, so what's the point?

Right, you're not going anywhere until we get this sorted.

It is sorted.

We want to find out more about him and you won't tell us.

Oh, all right. Not to worry.

I can register you as a temporary patient.

Oh, that's really very kind of you.

If you could fill in one of these forms.

You will be seen by Dr Haskey.

Mrs Tembe, I'm sure I could fit him in.

That will not be necessary, Dr Reid.

Dr Haskey has more availability.

This won't take too long, will it? We're on a very tight schedule.

Right, well, we will see what we can do.

Please, take a seat. Thank you.

You must have known this would happen one day.

I tried not to think about it.

He's going to hurt us, me, again. I know he is.

I won't let that happen.

And how are you going to stop him?

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

But we must tell Shak and Alia first.

They don't know what he's really like. Well, tell them.

No.

They're not kids any more.

You have to consider their feelings.

Tell them the truth and then we take it from there.

I'm scared.

I know.

But you have to face that fear.

Blistering Bunsen burners!

I beg your pardon?

It's Professor Pickering's catchphrase.

It's a children's TV programme. Very popular.

He plays this mild-mannered professor who, on the side,

does all these crazy inventions,

which he uses to entrap the evil Banana Cult.

It was one of Chris's favourites. A guilty pleasure of mine, too.

I didn't think it was still on.

Oh, I did. Send him straight through.

Could I get your autograph?

Of course you can.

What's your name?

Ella.

Ella? E, double L, A? Yes. Yes.

There you are.

Grr! Blistering Bunsen burners!

Would you like me to sign?

No.

Never mind, old girl.

Less of the old.

I need some fresh air.

Is she all right, do you think?

She'll get over it.

Especially when the royalties for the new book start coming in.

THEY LAUGH

LAPTOP PINGS

LAPTOP PINGS

SHE SIGHS

Hello, this is Alia Hanif's mum. She's in year ten.

Is it possible for her to have permission

to leave school at lunchtime?

Er, it's a family matter.

OK, thank you.

We shouldn't be here really.

Why's that?

Because there's nothing wrong with me.

So, why are you here, then?

Because Dr Carmichael thought it was a good idea.

Which it is.

Doing the job I do, I can't bear time wasters.

You are not wasting anyone's time.

Now, your GP reports that you're doing very well indeed.

No evidence of further memory loss

and occasional access to new memories too.

Yes. That's good.

I lead an entirely normal life, don't I?

You do.

That's why I don't feel there's any need for this.

You know, it's not like anything's going to change, is it?

So when are you going to tell her?

You mean about the quiz show? Mm-hm.

Soon.

Tommy. You've been putting it off for two months now.

You promised Michael an answer by tomorrow.

And he'll get one as soon as I've discussed it with Clarissa.

What is there to discuss?

It's a chance to move into presenting.

You'd be mad to turn it down.

Clarissa will be very upset.

She'll get over it.

It's about time you stopped playing the fool

to the nation's children

and the dutiful husband to Clarissa.

Oh, you think I'm just playing at my marriage, then?

No.

But if you're not careful, Michael will offer it to someone else

and you'll be stuck with Professor Pickering for the rest of your life!

Not necessarily.

What do you mean? I could go back on the stage.

I've always fancied playing King Lear.

King Lear?

Since I'm old enough.

Since now we will divest ourselves

both of rule, interest of territory,

cares of state. Which of you shall we say doth love us most?

Sir, I love you more than words can wield the matter.

Dearer than eyesight, space,

and liberty.

THEY LAUGH

I did it for O-level. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.

No, no. Well done, well done. No problem.

Doctor's ready for you now.

Ah.

HE GROANS

You see.

Is there a problem, Dr Reid?

No, no.

I have just played Goneril to Tommy Thomas' King Lear.

I certainly didn't expect that to be part of my day.

The brain is a complicated thing.

There's a lot about the way it works which we don't fully understand.

But I feel absolutely fine.

Oh, you are, in some respects,

but there might be other more subtle issues.

What do you mean, subtle issues? Yeah?

The only things I can't tell you are the things we still don't understand

about the brain, if that makes any sense.

You are doing very well, indeed,

but I can't, in all honesty, say that things will never change.

So you're saying that the, erm, well, that all my new memories,

they could disappear just as quickly as they came?

The brain can be very difficult to understand.

I'm afraid I can't really answer that with any certainty.

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in, come in.

Blistering Bunsen burners!

Your kids like the show?

No, I don't have any kids. I like the show myself. Ah.

When you, er...

It has been running rather a long time.

So, how can I help?

I've got a bit of a sore throat.

I wouldn't normally see a doctor about it,

but I've had it for a while.

How long's a while?

Oh, a week or so. My wife's been nagging me to get it seen to.

And my PA.

As if being nagged by one woman was not enough.

All right. Well, let's have a look.

What's this about?

You and I, we need to have a proper chat about your dad.

Shouldn't Shak be here too?

Well, we'll just fill him in later. Look, sit down.

The thing is, I know that you were lying this morning.

No. It's OK. I'm not angry.

But there is something you're not telling me, isn't there?

Are you sure your dad hasn't been in touch?

He hasn't. I promise.

But someone else has? Who?

Alia.

Zaroon. Our uncle. When?

Did he want to see you?

Yeah.

Sweetheart.

I get that you've got questions about your dad,

but I don't want you to have any contact with Zaroon

or anyone from that family. Do you understand?

It's too late.

What do you mean?

We've already met him.

Yesterday.

He shouldn't be much longer.

I've had an idea for the next book.

We haven't done aliens for a while.

How about if the Professor was visited

by a time travelling robot from the future?

Hasn't that been done already?

Not by me.

The Terminator.

I'll be back.

I hardly think that my young readers will be au fait

with the oeuvre of Mr Schwarzenegger.

I'm sure.

I just thought you might rather have an original story.

I don't know why we're even having this conversation.

The plots of my novels are absolutely none of your business.

If you say so.

Nobody knows Professor Pickering better than I do.

I need a new idea, this one has legs.

Tommy will love it, too. Get onto Janine.

We need to meet soon to discuss the next series anyway.

What?

There might not be a next series.

What's happened?

Is it Tommy? Has the doctor said something?

No, nothing like that.

What then?

What's going on, Natalie?

Why don't we pop outside for a minute?

I can't believe that you did something so stupid.

He seems really nice.

Did he ask where you live?

He didn't ask.

What about your school? Does he know what school?

Shak may have said something.

Did Zaroon say anything about your dad?

Like what?

Like if he had any plans to visit.

Alia?

This is very important.

Is your dad planning to come over from Pakistan?

No.

Are you sure?

OK, OK.

Mum.

He's already here.

In Coventry.

Does the soreness come and go?

No. It's there all the time.

Are you a smoker?

No, not for 30 years.

Not exactly a great image if you're working with children.

Must be strange, being in full view all the time.

Tell me about it.

How long is your book tour?

Oh, about a fortnight. You can have a signed copy

if you can make the signing at Porterfield's.

I've got some calls in town later. So, yes, please.

There's no obvious cause for concern here.

Try some pain killers and gargling with salt water.

If the soreness persists, then I suggest you go and see your own GP

when you're done with your book tour.

Why?

Just a precaution. Against what? Is it serious?

Almost certainly not.

But it could be?

No, it's just a viral sore throat.

HE COUGHS

How long have you known about this?

A few days.

And you never thought to say anything to me?

Tommy asked me not to.

I see what's going on here.

Don't think I haven't noticed.

Noticed what?

You're in love with my husband.

SHE LAUGHS

Don't be ridiculous.

I bet nothing's happened, though, has it?

I thought not.

Tommy isn't capable of having an affair.

He isn't devious enough.

Besides, he's fully committed to me.

You or Professor Pickering?

Now who's being ridiculous?

We have a very happy marriage.

Really?

It's always looked more like a business arrangement to me.

Car keys, please.

I'm going back to the bookshop.

When Tommy has finished here, get a taxi and bring him back.

There's a good PA.

I get that you and Dad don't get on,

but surely there's nothing wrong with me and Shak seeing him?

You don't even have to be there. Please.

What harm can it do? Let's just discuss this with Shak, OK?

And Heston.

It's probably best if you don't contact Zaroon again,

not until we've had a chance to discuss it.

Why? So you can find another reason to stop us seeing him?

No. No.

It's just come as a bit of a surprise to me.

Please?

OK. I'd better get back to school.

OK. Hey.

Thank you. Thank you for telling me about Zaroon.

I'll see you later.

I'm taking this lot home.

Are you all right, Dr Carter?

Just need a bit of peace and quiet.

Everything OK?

Er, maybe.

Can we call in at the chemist on the way back? Sure.

Where is she?

She's gone back to the bookshop.

She knows about the quiz show.

How? I don't know. Maybe Michael said something.

She asked me what I knew, so I told her.

How did she take it?

Not well. Oh, dear.

But maybe it's for the best.

You were going to have to tell her eventually.

You're free now, Tommy.

Free to do whatever you want.

I am, aren't I?

I'll get a cab.

Ruhma?

What are you doing?

What's happened?

He's back. It's not safe here.

It's not safe.

What are you talking about?

Ruhma!

When were you going to tell me?

Soon, obviously.

But the dates clash.

That is an issue, yes.

Well, you're not doing it. It's out of the question.

Thanks for bringing him back. You can go now. You're fired.

What? You can't do that!

I can and I just did.

I have to make some phone calls,

see if I can't salvage something out of this mess.

I'll leave you to say your goodbyes to your floozy.

Floozy?

And when I get back, I want you gone.

They've seen Aamir's brother. He's in England. He's in Coventry.

He knows where we are.

Are you sure?

Look, if he doesn't, he'll soon find out.

I've got to get away.

I've got a friend in Glasgow and she can put us up.

Scotland? Things can't be that bad? Yes, they are!

Aren't you over-reacting a little?

You don't know what he's like.

You can't just up sticks and leave.

What about me?

Come with us.

Everything I have is here. My home, my friends.

You've made a life here, so have the kids.

I have to.

That is not going to happen.

You have to stop running.

I don't have a choice.

You do. You need to stay here.

You don't have to go. She doesn't mean it.

She did.

What am I going to do without you?

Who's going to sort out my contracts?

Book my train tickets and organise my dry-cleaning?

I'm sure you'll find someone.

And what's this about you being my floozy?

Do you really think she thinks we're having an affair?

Clarissa has always had an over-active imagination.

That's why she's such a good writer.

And you've always done exactly what she tells you,

which is why you won't do this quiz show.

Which is a shame, because I think you would have been great at it.

Bye, Tommy.

Well, that was a waste of time.

No, it wasn't.

She didn't tell us anything!

What did you expect, love, that she'd say you were miraculously cured?

She said you were doing really well. I'd take that.

She said that I might get worse.

Might. Equally, might not. Nothing's changed.

Then why did we go?

Why...?

Why did we go? You know why we went.

We went to tick that box that gets us closer to fostering, that's all.

It'd better be worth it. It will be, love.

And that's it? That's us, jumped through all the hoops? Yes.

Except for the final panel.

But that's just a formality, isn't it?

Rob!? Isn't it?!

Hello. Hope I'm not too early.

Oh, no, not at all.

Who should I put it to?

Oh, I'm ter... Al, please.

There you go. No, no, no, no.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

Yeah, I took the painkillers. Certainly helped. Good.

Let's just hope it's not too serious.

Go and see your own GP when you're done with all this.

Well, he'll probably tell me that I'm perfectly well,

that I've got a rather active imagination when it comes to illness.

There's nothing like a glimpse of one's own mortality

to focus one's mind on what's important in life.

Yes.

Has she gone?

Yes. Good.

I've been on to Michael Granbridge and told him

there's no way you're doing his stupid quiz show.

Is that so?

Not unless he wants a long and protracted court case

over breach of contract.

The session hasn't started yet. You'll have to leave.

This is the doctor who treated me earlier.

Oh, yes.

Is he all right?

As if you cared.

How dare you? Nobody cares about you more than I do!

Then why's it taken you so long to ask how I am?

Forgive me. I was somewhat preoccupied by this quiz show nonsense,

not to mention the sudden realisation that you might actually be having an affair with Natalie.

Well, I've been coming to terms with the sudden realisation

that I may be seriously ill. OK, what...

And it's brought me to my senses.

I should stop living my life for you.

I ought to live my life for me,

not for you, and not for some stupid TV kids' character.

Oh, and by the way, I am certainly not having an affair with Natalie!

There.

Where are you going?

I'm going home. We can discuss things there.

We've got a lot to talk about.

But the book signing.

Well, why don't you do it?

After all, you're Professor Pickering.

That is so cool.

Natalie.

It was you who told Clarissa about the game show, wasn't it?

I'm sorry.

You don't need to apologise.

In fact, you've done me a massive favour.

A lot of other things make sense now.

I am no longer Professor Pickering.

That's wonderful news! I'll get onto Michael immediately.

No, no. I'm not doing a quiz show either. No.

Eric Mowbray is directing a Shakespearean tour

to the Far East and he hasn't cast the leading role yet.

It might be my big chance.

But what if you don't get it?

Well, do something else.

Shall I call him for you? No, no. I can manage.

Good luck looking for your new job.

I'm going to give you a good reference.

Let them see their father.

They have to know what sort of man he is.

They don't know the half of it.

Well, tell them.

I know you're scared,

but things have changed now. You've got me.

Aamir probably doesn't know where you live,

so we've got time to talk it through as a family.

And if that means moving,

even if it means moving to Scotland,

that's what we'll do.

You'd give up everything to be with me?

In a heartbeat.

But you have to tell them the truth.

As soon as they get home.

Is that what I think it is? 'Mum?' That's too much. 'You in?'

Don't say anything.

I am sorry. I have just said... Please, do us a favour. Please.

Yeah. I don't see why not.

Is that it?

Is that the best you can come up with?

Do you know what? I really don't care.

Have a gathering, don't have a gathering,

but just leave me out of it.