01/12/2013 EastEnders Omnibus

Hey.

Hey!

Happy wedding day.

Hey, happy wedding day yourself.

KNOCKING

All right, I'm coming!

Oh! You all right?

Don't go.

What?

Come on. You can get through today. I'll be right there with you.

Please don't go.

Hm.

Mrs Moon. Moon.

-Moooon.

-Moon.

How can you make it sound so rude? Moon.

-Does it suit me?

-Yeah, course it does.

Listen, my wife-to-be, how do you fancy a bit of brekkie?

-No.

-Uh?

-No, I couldn't eat anything - I'm too excited.

Now, listen, before all the craziness starts,

-I want you to remember to pack your passport.

-Ah.

And, also, you haven't told me all the sordid details.

Eh?

Your stag!

Oh, the stag. More like an old deer. Yeah, it was all right.

How did your night go?

Yeah, I woke up feeling invincible.

OK, OK.

You know, I know we've had our problems, and...well,

here we are - ready to spend the rest of our lives together,

and I think it's amazing, don't you?

Yeah, I do.

-Yeah! Good practice for the vicar.

-Hear what I said there?

-I did.

-Well spotted.

Morning.

It's complicated.

-Has something happened?

-Oh!

It has, ain't it?

Kat!

All right. Look, you can't tell anyone, all right?

Me and Alfie kissed.

No way!

I put a stop to it, all right,

and you're right - I have to move on, and it made me realise that if

I stay here I can't do that, so I'm going to go stay with Zoe in Spain.

No, no, no, hang on a minute - let's get back to the kiss.

Who kissed who? I mean, who went in for the lunge?

He did.

-No way!

-Don't do that!

-What?

-That face. This isn't good! He's getting married today!

He obviously ain't over you, is he?

So you've got to go and speak to him and find out what he wants.

No.

No, for once, I am doing the right thing.

This ain't about right and wrong - he still loves you, Kat!

Don't matter what you do, him and Roxy are never going to work.

Well, it might, if I'm not around.

How?

You're in his head, Kat. You are in his heart.

You can't pack that away in a suitcase and fly away.

I was completely out of order and I'm sorry.

Is that it?

I just want you to be happy.

And you've been saying that, what, all my life?

I don't actually think it's true.

I think you want to just control me, you want to put me

in a little box and keep me there so that I never, ever stop needing you.

That is so not true!

-It's like when I got married to Sean, remember that?

-No, I try not to remember that, Roxy.

And that is it!

That's it, Ron. You're just so judgmental!

Me and Sean, we happened.

OK, it didn't work, but Ronnie, I loved him.

I did, and I don't regret any of it.

And Alfie - it's going to work, and I just really want today -

today - to be the happiest day of my entire life, OK?

So do I.

Then you will respect my decision to let Phil give me away.

You still don't want me to come?

I do, I do, I do, I...

Only if, hand on heart,

you can honestly tell me that you're happy for me.

Cos if you can't, then, no - I'm sorry.

It's your call, Ron.

Please tell me that you sell safety pins!

The missus is having a dress crisis.

-Sadie?

-Yeah.

Oh. She's lovely, she is. We had a right old laugh last night.

Yeah - joking about, we were, saying all sorts of...

really stupid, stupid stuff.

Look, I'd love to stay and chat,

but I don't want to be late for the wedding,

so, the handcuffs... Sorry, safety pins?

On the stand round the corner.

Lauren?

Your mummy's going to look

so beautiful in the church, just like you.

See you later, darling.

Hey.

Hiya. Listen, I'm going to get over to Ian's, all right, and, er...

I'll see you at the church.

OK.

-Hey, are you OK?

-No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Just go. Just go, OK?

All right. I love you.

Back at you, Grandad.

Go on, just get out, and let me get changed.

-Sure you're all right?

-Yeah.

See you later.

You all right?

Do you want to...go in there.

Listen...

Before you say anything, all right, I just want to apologise

about last night, you know, I made a complete prat of myself.

I'd had too much to drink and my head's pounding right now

and I... I just want to thank you for stopping me

making a terrible mistake.

And you were right.

You are right, you know, I'm marrying Roxy

and we're happy and...

..you know, and I can't destroy that.

So, thank you.

Anyway, listen...his suit is hanging up in the lounge.

Kat, you don't mind letting yourself out, do you?

Only I've got Beale shouting down my ear,

you know what he's like for timekeeping and all that.

-Oh, there he is.

-Hello, fellas.

Listen, I can't hang about - got Ian waiting for me

to be spruced up, but listen, drinks on the house, all right?

Brilliant - just bought a round.

Surprised you still want that, after last night?

Had to pass the time somehow.

I had quite a good time.

-Thank you, Masood.

-Oh, Alf, next time you have a stag do,

try and get a real man to organise it, yeah?

What's this about next time?

He's just having a laugh.

You'll be a Mitchell soon, Alfie.

Make sure you write a will.

Yeah, yeah.

Kat! Hi.

Um, do you think you could give me a hand with something?

Oh, look, please. Come on - it won't take long, I promise.

Alfie?

There's like a little hook at the back and I can't get to it -

just there.

That's it. You got it?

Yep. There you go.

Thank you.

Do I look all right?

Yeah.

You wore red, didn't you, on your wedding day?

I've seen the pictures.

Alfie keeps the albums hidden away,

but the others are all covered in dust.

It's a dead giveaway.

Roxy, I'm sorry, I've really got to go.

Kat, look, please, just...

I know this is really hard for you,

and it's really weird for me, too.

I guess I just want to say I'm sorry.

Why?

Because I've been a right cow, haven't I?

I guess I felt like I had something to prove to you, and I don't, do I?

You're Tommy's mum.

You are always going to be part of Alfie's life - of our lives - so...

I'd really like it if we could find a way to be mates.

Yeah, course, mates.

-You look beautiful, by the way.

-Oh!

SHE STIFLES A CRY

Walk away.

-What?

-I'm asking you not to marry my sister.

You know, you're sick, Ronnie, you know that?

You're supposed to love her more than anyone else.

Oh, I do. That's why I'm asking.

I know it's going to be tough at first

and she'll be absolutely heartbroken, but much better now than later.

What makes you think that I'll ever leave her, eh?

Because I know you don't love her, Alfie.

I mean, really love her.

The way you really love Kat.

Let me tell you something now, Ronnie -

none of this is any of your business,

but since you're determined to stick your nose in,

I'll let you into a secret.

If I loved Kat more than I loved your sister, then I'd be with Kat.

Trust me, I've had a million and one chances to get back with her.

But I choose Roxy, cos I want to spend the rest of my life with Roxy.

If I didn't love Roxy,

do you honestly think that I'd put up with you?

Two tickets to Ibiza for this evening.

One way.

Yeah, the first passenger is Kathleen Moon.

Well, let's have a look at you, then? I love a man in a suit.

Don't get used to it. Enough of this malarkey in the army.

Better make the most of today then, eh?

-Right. Ready to leave in ten minutes?

-Hm-mm.

Could you just nip upstairs and get my bag for me, please?

What did your last one die of?

So, what did you two talk about last night, then?

Uh, nothing much. He seems like a decent bloke.

See? I knew you'd get on! Brilliant, ain't he?

Yeah. Good he gets on with his ex-wife, for the sake of the kids.

What, he talked about his ex-wife?

-No. No.

-Well, he must've done for you to say that.

No, it's just the kids like it, apparently - the...the tradition.

What tradition's that, then?

Um, leave it now, I shouldn't have said anything.

Dad?

It's just that they all spend Christmas together, apparently.

Is this it?

You spend Christmas with Nikki?

Yeah. Sometimes, yeah... Why'd you tell her that?

He didn't tell me. I got it out of him.

It's no big deal, is it?

Christmas is about family. Spending time with the ones you love - it's quite a big deal in my book.

It's not a planned thing, it just works out like that.

So she accidentally pops round, does she?

I'll leave you two to it.

Like, whoops, I tripped on the Christmas tree and here I am on your lap, that kind of thing, yeah?

-Stand still.

-I am!

-Stop fidgeting.

Ian, I'm not fidgeting. Look at that. Beautiful.

Looks great.

You OK?

Yes. Course I'm OK. Couldn't be better.

You know, it's, like...happiest day of my life, ain't it?

Right, so it was the booze talking, then?

Course. Once I got a bit of fresh air, sorted me right out.

Come on. We off now? Come on.

You haven't gone to the loo.

-So?

-Well, we're two and a half minutes ahead of schedule.

-And...?

-I've also allowed for traffic

and if we don't hit any then we're going to be eight minutes ahead

of schedule and I hadn't planned for that sort of void in the timetable.

Shut up, you tart! Come on.

Oh, look at you. You look beautiful.

Yes, you do.

You scrub up all right.

Oh, don't, Phil, I've just put my mascara on.

Should have used waterproof.

Why? Why do you know about waterproof mascara?!

Do you still want me to give you away?

Yeah. Come on. Let's go.

What about Ronnie? Is she even coming with us?

Come on, let's get down the stairs. Good girl.

How is it not a big deal, Tel?

I can't be with someone who's still involved with their ex.

They were fine earlier. What have you said?

Thanks for the credit, Carol, but even I couldn't start World War III.

-Ta-da.

-She's the mother of my children!

Unless we communicate through telepathy,

-I don't have much choice, do I?

-OK, fine.

But if you want to have Christmas together

you're not having it in Walford. Kat! Hang on.

What're you doing? What did Alfie say?

-I'm going to Spain and that's that.

-Well... Let me take you.

I've got a cab here, look.

Please. Just wait. What airport you going to?

Southend.

Oh, let me take you. Wait.

Give me the keys.

What are you doing?

Helping me mate out.

-Where are you going?

-I'm taking her to the airport.

-What airport?

-Southend.

-Not in my cab, you're not.

-Oh, yes, I am. Watch me.

-Well, fine. I don't even want to go to the wedding anyway.

-Good.

-Sorry, mate, she's got a cab.

-Sorry.

-Come on.

ORGAN PLAYS Handel's Hallelujah Chorus

Hello! So exciting, isn't it? The flowers look beautiful, by the way!

-Good luck!

-Yeah, good luck, Alfie.

And listen, don't worry about the seating plan, I got it covered.

-Thank you, Fats.

-No worries, man.

Hello, ladies.

-Max.

-All right, Alfie? Good luck.

-Thank you.

-Good luck.

Thank you.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

All right if we squeeze in next to you?

As long as there's no football talk.

All right, mate?

This is my daughter, Lauren.

Lauren, what're you doing? That was a bit rude.

I want to sit with my mates, don't I?

-You all right, Poppy? You look lovely.

-Ditto!

Is that vintage or high street? It's lovely.

Oy-oy-oy-oy.

-It's lovely.

-Thank you.

Why do people keep wishing me good luck?

I feel like I'm about to sit an exam or something.

-Cos that's what people do at weddings.

-Oh!

Alfie, Tina sends her apologies, she's at home puking up.

Unless you're Shirley Carter, of course.

Thank you, Shirley.

Where're you going?

Karzi.

Hang on, the bride's going to be here in six and a half minutes!

-Oh! Sorry!

-When was the last time you drove a car?

I'm all right once I get going.

-What happened with Terry?

-Forget him. What's Alfie say, then?

-Nothing.

-So he's all right with you taking Tommy out of the country, is he?

Look, I know it's not ideal,

but I'm not going to stop him seeing his son.

We'll just sort something out later. Right now, I just have to leave.

Abs, just calm down, will you?

All right. Well, just do what you can.

Yes, all right. See you in a bit.

Abi, freaking out - their cab ain't turned up.

Budge up.

Don't worry - I'm not going to jump you, Max.

Are you sure you can't see the safety pin?

No. You look stunning, as always.

Alfie's not ready yet. You're going to have to keep Roxy outside.

-How?

-I don't know, use your imagination.

-You ready?

-Yeah!

Wow! Wow! Look at you! Beautiful.

But you know what, maybe it's best you chill out a bit.

-Why?

-Well, because...

we've got to make sure the whole congregation is quiet...

and all their eyes are on you, and that dress.

So...

Fine. OK.

-What?

-SHE WHISPERS

Oh, Amy! I told you to go before we went.

-Phil?

-Me?

Yes. I'm not getting wee on my dress.

Go on. Go with Phil, go do a wee.

Come on, darling.

Alfie?

Roxy's here, mate.

Good thing is we're only a couple of minutes behind schedule, yeah?

You know, people say follow your gut, but what does that mean?

What part of you does that message come from?

What if it wasn't your gut,

but it was your head after a boozy, confusing night?

We all have thoughts, don't we?

I mean, I defy any married man to tell me that he's not had thoughts.

Not all thoughts are bad.

It's what you do with them thoughts that counts... That's what counts.

What are you saying?

You know you asked me last night where I was...

Yeah.

I lied.

Oh, you didn't?

I did.

I kissed Kat.

He said that he'd made a mistake and that I'd done the right thing.

And you believed him?

Do you still love him, Kat?

Do you?

You know I do, but that don't change anything.

If Fats ever keeps me waiting on our wedding day,

I swear there would not be any...

wedding night fun, if you know what I mean.

You don't think, um...?

-Think what?

-Nothing.

I hate to rush you, but time's ticking.

I know. I know.

All right. What are you thinking?

Ian, I don't...I don't know, all right?

-Do you love Roxy?

-Yes.

Or do you think you love Kat more?

All right. Listen, OK - you don't.

You think you're in love with her, but you're not.

Just trust me on this, OK, because I know.

My first two wives, right, Cindy and Mel, they were like an addiction.

I mean, the highs, they are like nothing on Earth,

but the lows, when you come crashing down

because of their lying and their cheating, their shifty little looks.

Do you really want to put yourself through all that again?

Or do you want to marry someone who loves you, who wants to be with you,

someone you can have a good, happy, honest life with?

I think you're the kind of bloke that just wants to be happy.

Are you OK, Alfred?

-And up.

-Phil, what's the time?

Ten past.

Right.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! He's not ready, Rox.

Who's not ready? What, Alfie?

No... No. Not Alfie. The vicar...

-The vicar?

-He's got to go over his lines, you know...

Fats, the bloke has been doing this for 20 years!

I think he knows what he is doing.

What are you not telling me?

Fats, get out of my way.

-It's just...

-Get out of my way!

ORGAN STOPS

MUSIC: The Wedding March by Mendelssohn

THEY MOUTH

Ian, where's Tommy?

Where are we?

B, please tell me you're not driving me to the church.

Think of Tommy - he wants to see his dad getting married.

-Right, turn around now.

-It's just round this corner.

I told you I can't sit there and watch him get married!

We're nearly there now, Kat.

I can't believe you're doing this to me.

And into this holy estate

these two persons present now come to be joined.

If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together,

let them speak now or for ever hold their peace.

Then I shall continue.

Right, go on. I'll wait here.

-No, I'm not getting out of this cab.

-Yes, you are.

-B!

-You can't roll over and let someone marry the love of your life!

-It's too late!

Not until the ring's on his finger, it's not!

-No, I can't... I can't.

-Yes, you can.

Will you, Alfred William Moon,

take Roxanne Lizette Mitchell to be your wife?

Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her,

in sickness and in health,

for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse,

and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her

as long as you both shall live?

CLATTERING

Alfred?

Shall I repeat the question?

No.

I do.

Roxanne Lizette Mitchell,

will you take Alfred William Moon to be your wedded husband?

Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him,

and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

I will.

What happened?

Come on, pick a seat.

Kat?

They're married. Just go.

Just drive. Please.

Alfred and Roxanne have declared their marriage by the joining

of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings.

I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.

Those whom God has joined together, let no-one put asunder.

(You may kiss the bride.)

ORGAN PLAYS 23RD PSALM

Welcome to the family.

Don't look at my writing. It's like a five-year-old's.

There you go.

Alfie?

What's the matter?

Roxy... I... I'm so sorry.

OK.

Um...

Um...

Can we have a minute, please?

Take as long as you need. Gentlemen...?

Listen, I'm all right, Rox. I'm fine...

-It's just...

-What?

-I don't know. I don't know. Just...maybe it's just...

-the whole thing. The big day...

-This is Kat, isn't it?

-No.

-She's done this deliberately, Alfie. You know, turning up late.

She's just trying to upset you. OK. She's just trying to ruin this for us.

Roxy, it's not Kat. I promise.

Any woman losing their husband, they're going to put up a fight, aren't they?

-I mean, Kat more than most.

-Not Kat.

Yes. Kat. Her more than anyone.

I mean, have you see her track record?

If she wanted to do anything, she could've done it last night.

ORGAN PLAYS "ABIDE WITH ME"

What do you mean, last night?

I went... I went round to see her last night. Got sentimental.

Made a drunken lunge. It was disgusting. I was disgusting.

-You...

-Yes. Me. But she said no.

OK, Rox, she didn't want to hurt you. She didn't want to hurt me.

If she'd wanted to do something, she could've messed with my head there and then. And she didn't.

All right... OK?

OK.

-What?

-It's fine. It's fine. I get it. I get it.

Night before your wedding...

You and Kat.

It's a big deal, moving on. Right? And I forgive you.

I forgive you. OK?

Look, the point is, you chose to be here today with me.

We just got married, Alfie. We just got married, didn't we?

And it's a beautiful, wonderful thing.

And we're about to spend of the rest of our lives together.

So let's just go out there...

and let's just get covered in confetti and sing hymns

and go back to the Vic and get drunk. OK?

I said OK? Alfie, I forgive you.

Yeah... yeah...

Yeah.

You don't want to...

You don't want to go back out there, do you?

-Rox...?

-You don't want to be married to me.

You don't want any of this.

Because you...

-You still love Kat.

-No. No...

-Yes, you do.

No... What're you talking about? How can you...?

How can you say that? After everything she's done to me? How could I?

But you do. You do.

And you know what, I can be your wife

and I can be stepmum to Tommy.

But it's never going to change.

She's the one you want and she always will be.

No...

Tell me I'm wrong, then.

Tell me...

..that you love me more than her?

Rox, I'm sorry. Rox, listen, we can do this.

Right. I promise you. We can... Please, let me do this.

Listen to me. We can make this work.

Please? I can make this work.

Do you think I want this?

Do you think I want YOU like this?

It's never...

It's never going to work.

-I'm sorry.

-Stop!

Stop saying you're sorry!

I don't know what else to do.

Just go. Go. Go!

Go and be with Kat.

-No, no. I can't. I can't do that.

-Go and be with her!

Yes, you can. Yes, you can. I'm telling you. You can.

No... we just got married.

I KNOW we've just got married!

I'm letting you go, aren't I?

I love you.

-I love you and I'm letting you go.

-No. No, no...

Get out! Get out!

Congratulations.

-Alfie. What are you doing, mate? Get yourself back in there.

-No, no, I can't.

-Of course you can. Come on. Follow me.

-No. I've got to find Kat.

What?! Alfie, no, just listen to me, that's in the past, it's gone.

You're married now. You're probably having a little bit of a panic...

Hold on a second - are you telling me you've just walked out on my sister?!

Isn't this what you wanted? You kept telling me that this was going to happen!

Listen, Ronnie, I made a mistake. We both made a mistake. I just realised too late.

-It's all right, I'm the best man. I can deal with this.

-You think you're capable of that?

-Come on, Ian, we need to go and find Kat.

-Alfie, wait, think about it...

You're too late. She's gone.

-What are you talking about, gone? Gone where?

-She's leaving.

She's going to live in Spain. She's already left for the airport.

No. No, you're lying. Kat wouldn't leave without telling me where she was going.

-You're lying.

-Maybe she didn't want to ruin your big day.

She's gone, Alfie. She came to see you get married and now she's gone.

Look, maybe I was wrong.

Maybe this is, like, a last-minute panic.

Maybe you and Roxy can actually work things out.

No. You know that's not true. And so does she.

Ronnie, I didn't want to hurt her but there was nothing I could do.

Of all people, you should understand that, OK? Now, please, Ronnie.

I'm begging you. Just tell me which airport she's gone to?

What did I tell you? Eh? What did I tell you about marrying a Mitchell?

Get back in there now. Get them stupid ideas out of your head.

-Get back in there and do the right thing.

-No, I can't do that, Phil.

-I ain't going to tell you again, Alfie.

-Phil...

Shut your mouth. And you don't even think about getting involved. Now you, get in there.

Phil! Ronnie, just tell me - what airport? Please...

Phil!

Phil, leave him alone!

-Where's Kat gone?

-Southend.

Can you take me home, please, Phil?

Look, you've done the right thing.

I can see that now.

Letting go. Moving on.

It's the right thing for you.

I mean, who wants to be the ex, eh, hanging about, waiting for crumbs?

You've got to move on in life.

Kat, you deserve to be happy.

What do you think's going to happen?

Nothing's changed. She's still Kat.

Kat Slater. And all that comes with.

All that baggage.

Stuff you were trying to get away from. The other blokes.

Think about it. Derek? I mean, that was less than a year ago.

I get it, all right. I know what you're trying to say.

I've tried. All right? But I can't live without her.

What if she does take you back?

Of course she's going to take me back.

What if she does and then she does it again?

How are you going to feel then?

Just drive, Ian.

Roxy, you look amazing.

Look at Roxy.

Congratulations, Rox.

Lola, can I get a vodka, please?

Yeah.

I'm sorry we couldn't make the ceremony.

Lexi was running a temperature and Lola started going into one...

Yeah, yeah, I know, but she's fine now.

Rox, where's Alfie?

Oh. He's not coming.

Hey.

Cheers.

HORN BLASTS What is the hold up?!

Alf, that's not going to help, is it?

Alfie, what're you doing?

Mate, hold it! Hold it there, hold it there. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hold it, mate. Listen, I need to borrow your bike.

-Ian, give me your wallet.

-What?

Mate, hear me out, listen! Just give me your wallet, please.

-What for?

-Give me your wallet and your watch.

I'll make it up to you. I'll double it, whatever it is.

Please. Mate, please, hold on one second! Please, Ian?

Give me a second, OK, mate.

Listen, mate, there's a good few quid there. Give me your watch.

-Alfie...

-Ian, I am begging you as your best mate.

Please give me your watch. Ian, please.

SIREN APPROACHES

Lovely! There you go, mate. Thank you. Right, I need the helmet.

You know, the thing about marriage is it's so restrictive.

Right? One partner the rest of your life.

Where, where is the fun in that? It's not me.

It's not my style. I am a free spirit. I'm a laugh.

-Roxanne...

-That's my big sister. Come to put a dampener on everything.

Why don't you, Ronnie, relax, and have a drink, yeah? Liven up.

Can I have a word with you outside, please?

No. No, we're busy. OK.

Get off of me!

Ronnie, Ronnie, get your - Ronnie! Get your hands off of me!

-Get outside.

-What are you doing?!

Get out.

Who do you think you are?

Whatever's happened. You, Alfie. I don't care. You stay away from him.

You do not get to tell me what to do. I have got my own life and I make my own decisions.

What am I supposed to do? I am trying to look out for you

but ever since I've been back you just keep pushing me away.

Ronnie, Ronnie, I'm not your salvation.

I'm not here just for you. I've got my own life!

And how is that going for you?

Your husband has just upped and left you at the altar.

Are you happy? Are you all smiles?

Why do you have to be so horrible?

Because it's true.

You told me. You said don't get with Alfie.

You said he still loves Kat and you were right. So fine.

I admit it. You're the really, really clever one.

And I'm the stupid bimbo that everyone leaves.

That's not what I mean.

But it's true. It's true, isn't it?

I mean, who's ever really wanted me?

Nothing's ever going to work for me...

It will. It will. I promise you. I promise you.

Listen to me. You are going be happy.

That is my one job in life.

You are the only thing I've got left.

ROXY SOBS

Shh. Come here. It's OK. Shhh.

Right, all sorted. We'd better go. It's boarding soon.

-Look, there's yesterday's takings.

-Don't be silly. I'm all right.

-I can't believe you're really going.

-These say we are.

I know this sounds really stupid but...

..you're my best...

..my only mate. I don't know what I'm going to do without you.

You'll manage. You got your family. You got Terry.

Terry's a good one. He ain't going anywhere.

And you've still got me. Just jump on a plane, and I'm there.

Call me night or day. I'll pick up. I promise.

You're my best mate an' all.

And these last nine months,

you're the only thing that's kept me sane.

What do you think, eh, Tommy? Me and your mum blubbering away?

Right. We'd better go.

-Well, you look after yourself.

-Yeah. And you. Come on, Tommy.

-Say goodbye.

-Bye.

-I'll see ya.

Bye.

Bianca.

Say goodbye to Alfie for me.

TYRES SCREECH

Just down on the left, please. Thank you.

Good evening. Thank you.

Just down on the right-hand side, please.

-Bianca!

-Alfie! What are you doing here?

-It's a long story. Listen, where's Kat?

-She's gone.

No. She can't have gone. What time's her flight leave?

-It's leaving now.

-Have you got any cash?

Yes!

Take that!

Lovely, lovely! Thanks, B!

Good luck!

That's it, look. It's here. Go in there. Sit over there. Good boy.

-Going up!

-We're going up. Put your belt on.

-Ooh! Look!

-All right.

-Plane.

-Yeah.

TANNOY: 'Boarding for flight 1223 to Ibiza...'

Sorry, sorry!

Sorry, sweetheart. Sorry, darling, you OK?

Sorry.

Sorry about that. Sorry, love, sorry.

-Hello, mate.

-The gate's closed, sir.

Look, I've got a ticket! I've got a ticket!

-There was an announcement. I'm sorry.

-I've just walked out my wedding

to chase after the woman that I love. Look at me!

Do you honestly think I'd be standing here dressed like this if it wasn't important?

I'm begging you. Please. Please.

-See you later. Take care.

-Thank you very much. Take care now. Bye-bye.

Good evening, Tower.

This is Kalos two three requesting clearance to push.

Hold it! I've got a ticket! Hold the plane! Stay there!

I've got a ticket!

'Good evening and welcome on board this Kalos Airways flight shortly departing to Ibiza.

'When stowing your hand baggage...'

Hello! I've got a ticket, I've got a ticket!

'..smaller items such as handbags and laptops should be stowed...'

-Boarding pass?

-There you go.

-Two rows down. On your left.

Sir. If you'd like to take your seat? Sir?

Kat...

What are you doing here?

-I've come to get you.

-Come to get me? What do you mean?

-Where's Roxy?

-It's a long story. I can't explain it right now.

But we need to get off the plane. We need to go. Come on, let's go.

-Go where?

-Home. We're going to go home.

Alfie... I'm leaving. I'm about to fly to Ibiza.

Yeah, I know... That was before. That was before I realised.

-Realised what?

-That marrying Roxy was a mistake.

-Sir.

-Please, I'm trying to have a conversation, all right.

-You need to sit down.

-Yes, I know. Just please, just give me a minute, all right.

-You're disrupting the flight.

-I'm trying to have a conversation with my wife... OK. My ex-wife.

It's just really important. All right.

If you don't sit down, I'll have to ask you to leave the plane.

OK. Fine, sweetheart, you've asked me, OK.

Alfie, you heard what she said. You need to go.

Listen to me, OK. The whole church. The wedding. It didn't happen.

What are you talking about? I was there. I saw you. I heard you say "I do".

OK, all right. I know I said that.

-But they were just words that came out of my mouth...

-So you just left her standing there at the altar?

No... No, no. We signed the register...

-You signed the register?!

-Yes, I know. But it's just a bit of paper.

-It doesn't mean nothing. What's important, Kat, is me and you.

-You're nuts. You're off your head.

-We need to go. Please. Come with me.

-No. You can't do this.

You can't do this to me and Tommy, you can't do this to Roxy.

I'm leaving. I am moving on.

You can't just jump back into our lives at the last minute.

No, no, no, I'm not, I've always been a part of your lives, haven't I? We've been...me and you...

I can't believe you've done this!

Look, you got cold feet. Go back. Go back. You can fix this, Alfie.

That's what everyone keeps saying but that's not what I want. Me and you. Us. That's what's important.

It's too late, it's too late.

-Sir, we need to ask you to take your seat or leave the aircraft.

-I am not going to take my seat.

And I am not leaving the aircraft, OK.

I'm having a... I'm having a conversation. And it's...

It's probably the most...

important conversation of my life right now.

-Are you refusing to sit down?

-Yes! Yes! Yes, I'm refusing to sit down. Listen, back off! OK.

-Just give me five minutes and I promise I'll be out of your hair.

-Sorry, sir, but we can't do that.

-What are you going to do about it?

-This way, please, sir.

Kat, take no notice of them. Just concentrate on me. Ignore them.

Please come with me. Get off me! Kat, please, I'm begging you.

Get your... Get your hands off me!

Kat, please! Just get off the plane, Kat. Come with me, I'm begging you! Will you get off me!

-Kat! Please... Get off me!

-Alfie?

Don't stay on the plane. Come with me! Please come with me.

-Get off me! Kat! Get off me!

-Are you all right, madam?

Kat, please...

Mummy!

All right, OK, get off me, OK.

You made your point, I'm going to go...

Alfie.

Get off me, let go. Kat! Kat!

Kat.

Do you mean it?

Do you really mean it? You want me?

-You forgive me?

-Totally.

You know, I...

I have tried so hard, Kat, to be without you.

You know, I can't... I can't do it.

Cos all I want is you.

And you know, nothing makes sense to me

unless...unless there's a Kat and Alfie.

You are... you are the love of my life, Kat.

And you always will be.

And you're my man in the moon.

Hey, hey, Kat. Whoa, whoa, where you going?

I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to bed.

Well, only if you come back with me.

I'd love to but do you really want Roxy catching us

-the morning after your wedding night?

-No.

I'll come back when Tommy's woken up.

All right, then, sweetheart.

As long as you don't change your mind and, you know,

go jetting off to some foreign sunny beach somewhere.

-I think you're banned from the airport after yesterday, don't you?

-Yeah, probably.

Anyway...

I'm not going anywhere.

-See you later, yeah?

-Yeah.

-All right.

ENGINE RUMBLES

Oi!

I go away for five minutes and you're already causing chaos.

Kat, I could have sworn I saw you get on the plane.

Yeah, turned out there was a technical hitch...

by the name of Alfie Moon. Looks like you're stuck with me.

Keep it quiet, cos I don't think everyone else'll be that happy.

Oh, well, don't matter. If it's what you and Alfie want, it's nothing to do with no-one else.

I've just got to go and rescue my jumpers.

Oi!

ALFIE WHISTLES

Ah, so you fancied a bit of breakfast in bed after all, did you?

-Oh...

-I kept the receipt just in case you don't like them.

-No, Mum, you did good this year.

-That's cos I helped choose them.

Thank you.

There's a little something extra in there for you as well.

I told you guys you don't have to make a fuss.

Of course I do, my little baby's all grown up.

Mm-hm. Let's go. Because this is where Mum starts grabbing

the cheeks and starts getting the old baby pictures out.

-Come on, Mum, I'm 21 years old...

-Every year I need to remind myself just how cute you were.

Besides, you lot aren't going anywhere.

You're on cleaning duty for this party this afternoon.

You should have spoke sooner. We're going to play pool.

I've taken the day off. I thought we could spend it together.

Said I'd show him how I misspent my youth.

I mean, you could always come along, Mum.

No, you're all right.

Who's going to get the house ready for the party?

And I don't want to get in the way of your boys' day out.

All right. Later, yeah, Mum?

SAM BLOWS A KISS

-Roxy, come on.

-I just want to get my stuff and go.

Roxy, you don't have to do this now, OK?

Don't I? Funnily enough, I only have a wedding dress to wear

and it was bad enough being stuck in that all day

like the world's biggest loser!

I'm sorry, Rox, but I swear I'd never have gone had you not told me to.

It's absolutely fine, Alfie,

because I will be out of your hair in a minute

and you and Kat can do exactly what you want.

Do you know what, Alfie?

-I just don't even care what you do any more.

-Just...

-What?!

Just tell Amy I'll see her soon.

She'll always be part of my life. Listen!

I don't blame you for hating me, OK?

I don't blame you for that, Rox,

but don't let Amy suffer for what I've done.

You slept with another woman on our wedding night.

So YOU do NOT get to be lovable old Alfie any more,

because we both know that is not who you are.

So I spent ages looking for this.

Everything seemed fine and then it all went really pear-shaped.

They must have had a barney.

Just shows you, once you get that ring on your finger...wah!

Although I do seem to remember we nearly missed our wedding reception.

That was for a very different reason.

You know, I'm not sure if this is right.

I mean, we wanted to get him something special,

but do you think this is too bling?

Nothing you get him is going to be too bling, is it?

Me, Jay and Lola are going to give it to him at his party.

-We could say it's from you too if you like.

-I'm not sure I'm going to go.

It's Dexter's 21st!

Yeah, so it's going to be full of people getting smashed

and wanting to get in each other's pants, ain't it?

It's a family party in the middle of the afternoon.

I mean, Nan's going to be there.

Is this cos you're still upset about the break-up?

Look, Abs, I'm sorry, it's just...

I'm just not really feeling it today, that's all.

-Alfie. Coast clear?

-You all right, sweetheart?

Listen, there's no point in hiding cos, Roxy, she already knows.

How is she?

Angry, upset, everything I expected, really.

I felt really bad, though, watching her pack.

There's nothing worse than hurting someone you love

and not being able to put it right, ain't there?

Come on.

Listen, I told you, all right? This one ain't down to you, all right?

Why don't we just take things slower until it all calms down a bit, yeah?

You sure?

Be hard for me to keep my hands off you, though.

OK. Well, listen. I'll give you a quick cuddle to keep you going.

This is what you want.

No, seriously, Alfie.

For once, let's just do the right thing, yeah?

OK, OK, yeah.

-You all right?

-I'm glad you're back. Do you hear that?

-I can't hear nothing.

-It's a miracle, isn't it?

We've got the whole place to ourselves and some making-up to do.

-I thought we did that last night.

-Yeah, but I thought you'd like to show me how really sorry you are.

I've apologised. What more do you want?

I can think of a few things.

For starters, you admitting you were out of order.

All right, OK. I know I overreacted

and I can't exactly blame you for things that you done before we were together.

And I know you and Nikki HAD a family Christmas,

-but it's not going to be like that now, is it?

-No.

So what was that about having the house to ourselves?

Dad!

TERRY SNIGGERS

I thought you were at the car lot.

Well, I'm having a late one today.

I did fancy making myself a bacon sarnie but I've lost my appetite.

Sorry, mate, we thought the house was empty.

Well, excuse me for using my own kitchen(!)

Excuse me, it's not yours and we're using it.

-Right, I'll go down the caff, then.

-No, you stay where you are, mate, cos, erm...

we've got the rest of the house.

Do you know what? I don't know, you know,

about this snooker stuff. It's never really been my thing.

-It ain't snooker, it's pool.

-Yeah, same difference.

And I wasn't sure about it at first, either.

But...

it's something my old man taught me.

It trains you to use your brain, plan for the long game ahead.

See, now, I thought all you have to do is hit that ball

on those balls there.

You'll pick it up. It's in the blood.

It's also a sure way of impressing the ladies.

Yeah? I ain't got no problems in that department, yeah.

So how come you ain't got a date for the party tonight?

Just keeping my options open, isn't it?

What about that nurse at the hospital?

She was giving you some serious bedside manner, boy.

You know what, I might actually go and look for her

when I go back for a checkup.

Or maybe you'll get lucky out clubbing later.

I figured you wouldn't want to be stuck in with us all night

so I arranged for a cab to take you and your mates out after the party.

Are you serious? And Mum's all right with it?

She's going to have to be.

I have a few birthdays to make up for.

Look, listen...

I just want to say...

I'm really happy you're here.

This is all I've ever wanted, ever since I was a little kid.

So come on, then. Teach me how to play!

Ball.

Break.

Lauren?

Do you want something?

Yeah, maybe.

Well, I'm going to a party later

so I was wondering if you could fit me in?

Yeah, sure. Come on in.

So...

..what do you think?

Depends what it's meant to be.

Well, it's the Orient Dragon. Can't you tell?

Looks more like a cat to me.

Well, it's bright red and it's breathing fire!

Oh...

I thought it was spitting up a fur ball.

Well, I would start again but I've got the whole flat to tidy up

and all this food to prepare.

Sam and Dexter are off playing pool.

Oh, I see. They've left you slaving in the kitchen, have they?

Yeah, it's nice that Dexter gets to spend time

with his dad on his birthday.

Yeah, I know it is.

Sam's certainly making an effort with the boy these days.

Yeah, can't keep them apart since the operation.

What about you? Couldn't you go and all?

-I don't want to spoil their day.

-Why would you spoil it?

I might be wrong but I think women

are allowed in pool halls these days.

So...

what's the problem?

There isn't one, apart from I've got the world's worst cake

and loads of people turning up for a party this afternoon.

You wouldn't give us a hand?

All right, wait. You lot are about to see the pupil become the master.

Watch this, yeah.

ABI LAUGHS

The black was...

-I think you might need a few more lessons.

-Look, it's the first time I've played.

-Are you done with this table?

-No.

I'll give you a game, though. Winner stays on.

All right, you're on. But just be prepared to lose, yeah?

Rack it up because I am going to take you down.

I'd love to see you try but I need to get home.

-What, you're not even going to let me get even?

-We ain't got all day.

Your mum's going to give me a mouthful if I'm not back to help.

Birthday boy, stay with your mates and get some practice in.

Do you know what? I want a rematch. And thanks, yeah?

-Come on, Jay. Set it up.

-I ain't got no money.

I've not seen you in for a while.

Yeah, I just thought I'd make an effort for the party.

Oh, yeah? Anyone special going to be there?

I thought you'd be fighting them off.

-So you're married, yeah?

-Yep. For my sins.

Just the one kid?

How come you never had any more?

-We're happy as we are.

-Lucky you.

My family hate each other most of the time.

We all have our moments. The times I could have swung for Jake.

Why's that?

Usual man stuff, you know.

But when you've been together as long as we have,

you get past things.

It's what being married is all about.

And besides, the bigger the row...

..the better the making up.

-You spoken to Amy yet?

-I just tried.

She doesn't get it, she just wants to know

why we can't go back and see Alfie.

Right, look. Why don't we go and get some of her stuff?

We can put it in her new room and make it feel a bit more like home.

No, I can't.

I can't face going out. No.

Why? You've nothing to be ashamed of.

I just don't want people feeling sorry for me.

Right, listen. You need to go out there

and show them that you can't be beaten.

Haven't you got a job to go to?

Yeah. Why don't you come with me?

Be like the dream team back together again.

-I know you're trying to help, Ron. I do. But I really just cannot...

-Listen to me.

What you need to do is you've got to take it one step at a time.

So let's just go out, we'll do a bit of shopping,

Phil can look after Amy.

How about if we stop for a drink first?

Well, it wouldn't be much of a shopping trip if we didn't.

-<

-Dad!

< I'm sorry, Bel, but the dentist said

< you've got to look after your teeth.

-She said my teeth were fine.

-But if you want to keep them that way,

I'm going to have to help you out and eat this for you.

Guys, I've got clients!

-Lauren, I haven't checked your nails.

-No, it's all right. I'll see you later.

THEY CHATTER

I thought you lot were playing pool.

Yeah, we were until Dex got bored of being beaten.

Yeah, but it's his birthday so we let him off the hook.

So where's your dad, then?

He left a while back. He said he was coming to help you.

Well, I haven't seen him.

-He must have got held up, then.

-Well, he could have called me!

Maybe he didn't know that he had to let you know where he was going every minute, Mum.

That is rude.

Look, he's not going anywhere, Mum. Give him a break.

I'm trying to create a serene environment

and you come in and cause chaos.

-Yeah. Everything all right before that?

-Yeah.

She seemed a little wound up.

Yeah, she's a sweet girl but she's got her issues.

-Boy trouble, I think.

-Ah. What kind of trouble?

-Didn't say.

Since when have you been interested in my clients, anyway?

I just feel bad for causing a problem.

I'm used to it, darling. You always do.

-Listen, I need to move the car.

-OK.

If you're looking for someone to shove sausages on a stick,

I've retired.

No, I was just seeing if Sam was around.

I thought he was having a boys' day out.

Yeah, well. He set off a while back and I haven't heard from him.

He's not answering his phone, either.

-How long's he been gone?

-About an hour.

Then don't you reckon it's a bit too soon to send out a search party?

Well, he has just had a major operation.

I was just checking he was all right.

I thought he was on the mend now, so what's the problem?

Ain't like he's going to do a runner.

No.

You think he is?

I don't know.

It just feels like something's different.

Look...

..I ain't always been Sam's biggest fan but if he didn't

want to be here, he wouldn't have stuck around this long.

You're the one who'll drive him away

with all this bunny-boiler stuff.

-I am not acting like...

-Oh, no?

You're trawling the local boozers and he ain't even been gone an hour!

Has he done anything to make you think he might do a runner?

No.

Then don't you think this is all in your head?

He'll turn up half-cut

or with a betting slip. You'll see.

-Hi, Carol.

-Hi.

-I'll have two coffees, please.

-OK.

On the house, yeah?

No, you're all right. We'll pay.

CAFE FALLS SILENT

Roxy, I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now.

-So why don't you leave her alone, then?

-Me and Alfie,

we didn't plan for things to turn out like this, I promise you.

Look, I did not come to your wedding to get Alfie back. I came to say goodbye.

Listen, Roxy, I...

I did not try to take over your life.

Well, that's all right, then, isn't it?

You steal my husband, you humiliate me in front of everyone I know,

but as long as you weren't trying to do it, that's OK!

All right, Rox. Come on, let's go.

It was never my life, was it, Kat?

-You were always there, waiting to take it back!

-That's not true...

Well, congratulations, Kat. Well done!

You have won the prize of Alfie Moon and a life behind a bar.

So I don't need to hang around and I certainly don't need your sympathy.

Hey! Still no sign of your dad, you know.

Mum, will you give it a rest?

-I'll have to start phoning round the hospitals soon.

-You know what?

You are making far too much of this. Do you know that?

You see, what did I tell you?

Where have you been, Sam?! I was so worried.

Sorry, but I had to go down the hospital.

What? What do you mean? You're not sick, are you?

Nah, I just wanted to see

if a certain young nurse was free for a home visit.

Sorry, do I know you?

I know you. You're David Wicks, right?

Yeah. Who are you?

I was married to your cousin, Kevin.

Oh, right. I don't really remember him.

Sounds about right.

-Want a drink, Tel?

-I've got one, thanks.

Look, I didn't want to get you in the doghouse over your ex.

Probably shouldn't have told her.

No, you shouldn't have, but you did.

You imagine if that was t'other way round and it was your Rosie.

-Wouldn't want anyone messing with her, would you?

-She's ten!

Well, they have a habit of growing up.

Look, David. I know you're protective over Bianca, but I'm crazy about her.

And let's face it, if I was stupid enough to mess up, she'd be

-the first to kill me, wouldn't she?

-True.

-You'd better have a drink, then, while you still can.

-Go on, then.

Give us one of my brandy coffees, please, Trace,

-and a little Coke for him.

-DAVID CHUCKLES

What the hell are you playing at?

What do you think? I was getting my nails done.

All right, fine. I wanted to talk to her.

See what she was like. See what you two were like together.

And how's that going to help, eh?

You're only going to make things worse for yourself.

I can't make things worse, Jake. You already did that.

-There you go.

-Why didn't you tell me?

I was really worried that something had happened.

Thought I'd run off with another woman?

It ain't going to happen. You're stuck with me.

Are you sure that's what you really want?

You're just going to have to trust me.

I do.

So you know I can't really trust you, though, isn't it?

Cos I don't know how you can just invite girls to my house without telling me.

-I knew you were into her.

-I'm into Rihanna too.

-I weren't expecting a date with her, was I?

-She was busy.

Sorry about those two.

It's fantastic what Dexter did.

Yeah, I'm really proud of him.

Well, I'm proud of them both.

Lucky it worked out. Doesn't always go that way

-when someone's been waiting on the transplant list for so long.

-Oh, no. Sam was really lucky.

He was only on the list for a couple of weeks.

Right, if that's what he says, I must have read his chart wrong.

Did you see the way she just looked at me?

She was just feeling guilty.

She was feeling pity.

I mean, really, how did I get to this?

I used to be the queen of Ibiza!

When did I get mugged off

by some stupid, ageing barman

I would never have looked at a couple of years ago?!

It doesn't matter now, all right?

You've just got to forget it. You've got to move on.

Yes, I have.

Roxy?

Roxy!

MUSIC AND VOICES IN ANOTHER ROOM

Roxy, put...

-Put the hammer down!

-Get off of me!

-What are you doing?

-She's lost it.

Wait! Wait, look, all right.

I know you want to get even, but this is not a good idea.

I don't want to get even, I want to get out.

Good for you.

HAMMER BANGS

Oi, don't you think you should have brought a screwdriver, you idiot?

Turn it round. Do it like that.

I can do a hell of a lot better than this!

Roxy. Roxy!

Come here.

THEY LAUGH

Come here. Come on, let's go home.

THEY LAUGH

Oh, my God!

-RONNIE KISSES ROXY

-I love you.

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Lauren?

You all right?

Oi.

Oi, you can talk to me, you know.

Thought you'd be busy with Janine.

It's just the bloke I was seeing.

He's not who I thought he was.

Yeah, well, I ain't really sure you ever know anyone.

When I was a kid watching my mum and dad rip each other apart,

I swore that I'd be different.

But no matter how hard I try, I just keep getting it wrong.

You ain't the only one, babe.

Look, listen to me, OK?

Now, I don't know what this bloke's done

but what I do know is that you're an amazing girl, Lauren, and you're

going to get through this because you can get through anything.

One day you're going to find someone, too, that really deserves you.

All right?

Cheers, Dad.

Caught us. Figured we'd get the party started.

-You can't. We're not ready yet.

-What else do we need, then?

More booze by the looks of it.

-Dex, why don't you take Laura to the shop?

-I can go.

No, it's all right. Let them go, spend more time together.

So, what exactly did you want me all alone for?

Tell me again, Sam.

When did you know that your kidneys were failing?

Why are you asking that? You already know.

Well, I thought I did but Laura said you'd been waiting a long time.

-Laura's got it all wrong.

-Yeah, that's what I told her

because I saw you collapse and I heard the doctors give you the news,

so I just went to check the dates.

You knew that you needed a transplant before you even came here.

This is Roxy lashing out. She needs someone to blame.

None of this is your fault, all right?

I've come for the rest of Roxy's stuff.

-I've got to go.

-No, no.

-Alfie, please...

No, it's all right. You stay with me.

I'll make sure I get it packed up for you tonight.

You really are a mug, ain't you? She stood here less than a year ago,

told everyone she was putting it about behind your back.

-Don't talk about her like that.

-How stupid are you to fall for it again?

-I haven't fallen for anything.

All right? I wanted this.

I wanted this.

And I know you're all talking behind our backs

and I get it.

But I'm the one who broke Roxy's heart and I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life.

But the truth is...

..the truth is I couldn't live without Kat a minute longer.

So everything that's happened is down to me. It's my fault, all right?

Just me. You don't need to blame her.

(So much for taking it slow.)

Listen, Kat. I love you, all right? And I don't care who knows.

What? And you think that's it, do you?

You just get your happy ending?

You better watch yourself, cos this ain't over.

It's our son's birthday.

Do we have to do this now?

Yes, Sam.

Why didn't you tell us?

This says that you've been on the transplant list since March!

I know what it says.

Please tell me...

PLEASE tell me that you didn't just come to Walford

to get your hands on my son's kidney?

I can explain...

You should have knocked that Alfie's teeth out.

-At least broken a few ribs.

-Yeah, and who'd run the Vic, genius?

Just get this junk out of my way, will ya?

It's your fault, making us kip down here.