07/12/2013 EastEnders Omnibus

-Out the way, Liam.

-Mum, mind my hair!

-You can't wear jeans to school.

I have to. I can't find my school trousers.

-You said boiled egg.

-No, I didn't.

-I asked for poached.

I'm just doing boiled, Whitney.

-Can I have a boiled egg?

-Yeah.

Is there any toast for me anywhere?

No, cos it's blown up, because it's overworked.

I know how it feels.

-Good morning, family.

-How was it?

Yeah, usual old thing, people in suits running away without paying,

drunks not knowing where they live,

secretaries passing out in the back of the cab.

-I love Christmas!

-Great, innit?

-Can't find my headphones.

What a shame, Tel boy,

you'll have to spend some time on planet Earth with us.

I've got a delivery coming later. Is Dad going to be about?

No, he left early, went to a trade show, and I'm off now.

Lucky me gets to go to work

and spend all day cooking for people, then cleaning up after them.

-We need some shopping.

-You going to be here?

-No, I'm going to go to bed for a while.

-No, you can't.

You've got to take the kids to school and get the shopping. Bye!

Come on, sweetheart, I need my beauty sleep.

You can do that for a couple of hours this afternoon

and, if you're lucky, I might even come back and tuck you in.

Get a room.

You can't wear jeans for school.

Yes, well, I don't have a choice.

DOOR BANGS

Where you going?

I'm going home to get ready for work.

-This is your home.

-I haven't got time for this.

Tommy's dressed, he's had breakfast, you can take him to nursery.

If you want him back later, I'll bring clean clothes.

I want you both back later, permanently.

We spoke about this before. It's not a good idea.

I happen to think it's a brilliant idea.

It's too soon.

Of course it's not.

You belong here, your name next to mine, above the door.

Listen to me, right.

Before, I'd be in there like a shot, no reasoning,

no thought about who might get hurt, I'd just do it.

But I want Tommy to look up to me

and trust me as someone that does the right thing.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Mum, I thought you got a job interview today?

I wanted to talk to you. You haven't been here.

Mum, you can't just be late for your interview.

-I know, but...

-I can't be late on my first day back,

-I'll have Phil on my back.

-Dexter?

-We'll catch up later.

-Dexter!

-Good luck.

Whoa! There you go, my angel. Wait, wait, wait - not finished.

A little bit of honey and a little bit of lemon...

Can I make one next?

We'll do some tonight, OK?

I loved watching you in the kitchen.

Well, those days are gone.

It's got to be better than being a cabbie.

Babe, me and restaurants, we don't mix.

I'm happy where I am, so just drop it, OK?

How's the pancakes?

Good.

Right. School. Come on, let's go.

I wish I could go to school. I can't wait till tomorrow.

So weird.

-And that isn't my coat.

-Well, if it fits, it's yours.

Oh, mate, who's going to tidy up this kitchen?

Not me, I'm going to work. See ya later.

Can I tidy up the kitchen?

See? Weird.

-Yeah, you can. Tel, you can help her.

-Me?

-Yeah, you.

And if you don't know how to do it, get on the internet and find out.

I don't want to go.

You have to. I've organised a play date here for Scarlett.

Put them off. We'll spend the day together.

Oh, if only. I can't, it wouldn't be fair on her.

All right. Can we at least meet up later, though, yeah?

Maybe we can steal half an hour.

Half an hour? I'll take it.

See ya later.

Lola. Lola. Come on!

She's still ignoring me.

Yeah, well, she is bang out of order, ain't she?

It's what we want, friends thumping the man we're on a date with!

You weren't there. He was after one thing and one thing only.

Hold tight a minute, bruv. Maybe that's all she wanted, a bit of fun.

She's not like that.

Another one of your fan club.

Yeah, I don't get her. Now her dad's out, why can't she just move on?

Women, bruv. All right, back to work.

-See you in a while.

-See you in a bit.

Hi. You all right?

Yeah. yeah, good.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right, as well, thank you(!)

Sorry. I'm glad. I really am.

But I think we should probably...

Keep our distance around the square?

It's for the best... See ya.

Very nice.

That suits you, although they do say black's a lot more slimming.

I don't know, Bianca, I guess they're just cocktail dresses.

Do you want to speak to Dad? All right, bye.

-What's up?

-Nothing.

Are you worried about starting your new school tomorrow?

-No, I've done it before.

-What's up, then?

-I said, nothing.

Come on.

What are we doing at Christmas?

-We'll be here, won't we?

-Yeah? And what about Mum?

Look, I know we normally spend Christmas with your mum,

but that just ain't going to work this year.

She might be working, anyway.

She's probably wangled herself a little trip to Australia

or Thailand. She loves a beach.

What if she's on her own? Couldn't she stay with us?

You're joking! Where's she going to stay?

-She could stay in here with me and Rosie.

-Tel, the inn is already full

and it's not like we've got a stable to put her in.

One more won't make any difference.

That's not fair on Bianca, is it?

Look, a tropical beach in a lovely sunny country

or a sleeping bag in Walford?

Which one do you think your mum's going to go for?

Bathroom's free.

That'd suit you.

Red - you don't think it's a bit extreme?

Nah, go for it.

Nothing like a new hairdo to make you feel better.

I feel fine, thank you.

Of course you do.

When you've got a few more miles on the clock,

you'll realise there ain't many men who are worth losing ANY sleep over.

OK. Thank you, Cora, you've been a wonderful help(!)

-All right, girls?

-Hiya!

It's freezing. Did someone order a cab?

-That was me.

-Where do you want to go?

Nowhere. I just need the driver.

I want to take you to lunch. An apology for this morning.

There's no need.

Please. One o'clock, at the Vic?

OK.

-See ya.

-See ya.

You know what, Poppy?

I don't care what Peter Beale says or thinks of me any more.

-So you keep saying.

-No, this time I mean it. I'm done with the posh boy.

That's it.

-Oh... Where's your dad, gone shopping?

-Yeah.

Whose is this?

Oh!! It's gone everywhere!!

-It's not mine!

-Sorry.

These are imitation silk dresses!

Well, it's shower stuff, so it'll just wash out.

I can't sell them as new if they're all stained, can I?!

It was an accident.

Is that your washbag?

I mean, why can't anyone put anything away or tidy up in this house!?

There's nowhere to put 'em.

These are ruined now!

-Coffee, darling.

-Sure.

How was the party?

Eventful.

You feeling better?

Yeah. Sorry about that.

What are you doing here?

Skiving?

No. I've just had a job interview.

How'd it go?

Messed it right up.

I'm not surprised, if you went in with that attitude.

Well, I've got more important things on my mind at the moment.

What's up? Everything all right with you and Sam?

I need to talk to Dexter.

Oi, Tel, you all right, mate?

I am now.

Look at this, peace and quiet and chairs to sit on.

And how about this, we do beer, as well, can you believe it?

Ah, fantastic.

Bit crowded up at Butcher Mansions, is it?

Let's say it's...intimate.

-What can I get you?

-I'll have a pint of your finest ale, mate.

I think that's the problem when you get to our age, with relationships.

A lot of history, a lot of baggage, lots of other people.

They call it the joy of family life. There you go.

Cheers. You're not doing any food, are you?

Yeah, I can do you some bran, cornflakes.

Tell you what, keep schtum, how do you fancy a nice bit of cheese,

-maybe a nice bit of onion?

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

There you go. Bread's out the back.

HE LAUGHS

-This is worse than being at home.

-On the house, an' all.

-Thanks, mate.

LOUD HAMMERING Come on!

What do you want?

Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to see Dexter.

You going to be checking up on him all week?

No, I just wanted to talk to him.

Oh, right, well, he's out dropping off a car,

but as it's personal, you can chat to him on his own time.

Kat just wants to take things slow, you know, to prove to me

and to everyone else that she's changed before she moves in.

To be honest with you, Tel, I don't really care what people think.

You've got to care, mate, you're the local landlord,

you can't fall out with everyone.

Yeah, I know.

Listen, I do feel,

seriously, I feel really bad about what happened between me and Roxy.

But the thing is, I'm mad about Kat.

We have, like, a chemistry, you know.

We're meant to be together.

Yeah, well, how can she resist, you know?

I know, amazing.

-Your catering skills alone.

-Thank you.

I've seen grown women crumble and cry around this level of perfection.

Yeah, I can see that.

Because I've known you a week and I want to move in.

Really? You know what, I've got a spare room.

THEY LAUGH

I'll have one for the road.

I thought it was just going to be a swift one?

Ah... Yeah, I'd better get back. Otherwise, I'll be getting "Terry!"

-Catch you later. Give me a bell, yeah.

-All right, Alfie, cheers, son.

All right, Phil? What can I get you?

I'll have an egg sandwich and a coffee, to take away.

-"Please"?

-What?

Mayonnaise with that?

Yeah. Please.

Just wanted to say that I know what you're going through.

Took me a long time to get over Kirsty.

I'm sorry, does it look like I need sympathy from you?

No.

You look like someone who's going to bounce back,

show everyone what an idiot Alfie is.

What's he want?

He reckons he knows what I'm going through.

Do you know, I am sick of people sticking their noses in my business.

Yeah, people love making themselves busy, don't they? Well, stuff 'em.

Here you go, cheer yourself up,

go somewhere nice, take Ronnie shopping or something.

Some of these might be all right.

30% mark-up - we chuck three away, we break even.

Four and we're losing money.

I told you these were too expensive for us to sell.

Not if they weren't covered in shower gel!

Don't shout at me! I didn't do it.

I'll take them to Dot's see what she can do.

-Yeah, spend more money we ain't got.

-What else am I supposed to do?!

You'd better get back to the stall,

I told Fatboy I'd only be ten minutes.

Didn't expect to see you here. What you doing?

What's it look like?!

-Sorry for asking.

-Have you been drinking?

-What?

-I can smell booze!

-Not that it's got anything to do with you

but, yeah, I did have a quick pint.

I've been out all night, ain't I, working?

That's the answer, is it? Let's all go down the pub, shall we(?)

Well, if it makes you happy, it'd be a good idea, wouldn't it?

What's wrong with her?

One of the kids has got shower gel all over the dresses we ordered.

Is that it? The way she ripped into me, I thought someone had died.

That's just B, ignore her.

-She'll calm down, in a year or two.

-SHE LAUGHS

I might have to take Alfie up on that offer of that room,

unless you've changed your mind?

Been talking about me, have you?

-All good stuff.

-Right.

He's trying to get you to talk me into moving back in.

Look, it's none of my business.

I mean, you've got to do what you think is right.

What makes you happy.

Right.

It's not that simple. I'm trying to do things the right way here.

Yeah, but this is about family, innit?

Look at me and Bianca. It's a bit of a mess, innit,

but I wouldn't change it for anything.

This is nice, just the two of us having some lunch.

Yeah, it's not bad grub.

It's nothing compared to what you can cook, though, babe.

I really do think you should go back to it.

Ian's looking for a new sous chef.

How do you know?

I saw an advert in the local paper.

And he told me.

And I've already told you it's not a good idea.

But you love restaurants.

-Yeah, and look what happened!

-You're not happy at work.

Why can't you just leave it alone?

You can do it.

We're back together now, you have my support.

You think that's going to help?

Me being surrounded by alcohol every day?

You can get a drink anywhere, but you haven't.

Now it's time for you to take the next step

-and go back to doing what you're good at.

-Sadie...

You say I don't trust you and you're wrong. I do.

Maybe it's time for you to start trusting yourself.

DOOR CLOSES

-Ugh! What are you doing!?

-I'd better go.

No, you don't have to go.

No, no. It's fine.

Feel a bit sick, anyway. I think it's the smell of cheap perfume.

KAT LAUGHS Janine!

-What is wrong with you?

-You don't know nothing, Kat, all right?

Your sister is in prison for killing Michael

and you're bedding the widow!

That's a bit sick, ain't it?

Don't you start lecturing me about my life,

-after what you've done to Roxy.

-I've done nothing to Roxy.

Oh, so she's happy, then, is she?

At least Alfie knows when he's made a mistake!

If you don't like how I live my life, Kat,

then you know what you can do, don't you?

You'll regret this, Joey.

It's all she's talks about.

And Pete's been banging on about her all day.

It's obvious they have, like, big feelings for each other.

Mmm-hmm.

Hold on a minute. Why don't we bring them together?

You know, like we did Tam and Alice.

Hold tight, Cilla Black, all right,

we don't want to repeat that train crash.

No, not our finest hour.

No.

But maybe this is our opportunity to, you know, redeem ourselves.

Walford matchmakers, back in the game.

Babe, what if this one goes wrong, as well?

I think we're pretty safe with these two.

Have you seen Lola's angry face?

I mean, they're not even speaking to each other right now.

No, but they don't stop talking about each other, do they?

All we've got to do is make 'em realise

how deep their feelings really go.

OMG.

Look who's just walked in.

-This is a sign.

-No, baby, it's just lunchtime.

-No, this is fate.

We have got to do this. Lo? Lola, come here.

I will talk to Pete, yeah, make him realise how deep his feelings are,

-and you, you can soften Lola up.

-No, no...

And I'll get Pete to talk to her... Hello!

I thought you were going home for lunch?

I was, but Tina and Shirley are there. They're doing my head in.

Oh, right. Well, I'm going to have to leave you two to it,

cos I've got stuff to do.

So, see you later.

Sit down.

I'll see you back at work, yeah.

-Finish my chips if you want. See ya.

-Bye.

So... Peter, fighting for your honour.

What a guy, huh?

Peter, on behalf of Fats and myself, I am staging an intervention.

You're staging a what?

I think it's an intervention.

Isn't that when someone makes a mistake and you try and stop 'em?

No, it's when someone's addicted to something and you make

-them aware of it.

-Yeah, that'll work.

For the sanity of myself and my other half,

will you please just ask Lola out?

-What?

-She's mad about you, and you obviously like her, as well.

She's what?

Why do you think she's been flirting with you all these months?

That's not serious, she's just having a laugh.

You spend all your time together.

Because we're mates.

Mates? Oh, right, mates? Is that what you're calling it now?

Yeah.

Well, you know, that is a shame, because she really, really likes you.

Did she tell you this?

You're all she talks about.

So it's up to you. What are you going to do?

Come on, Lo, he didn't mean to embarrass you, did he?

It just came out wrong.

No, it didn't come out wrong, that's exactly what he thinks of me.

Come on, you don't believe that?

He punched out the guy, right, in your honour,

that's, like, some knight in shining armour thing.

-Are you having a laugh?

-Speak of the devil.

-Did you plan this? You and Poppy? Is that why she went?

-No.

-Fatboy?

-Not me.

-That how it is, is it?

What, you send your mate to come round and apologise for you?

I have to listen to him bang on about how great you are?

-It's going to take more than that..!

-Shut up!

Who do you think you're talking to, eh?! Peter! Peter!

Put me down!

Peter!

Put me down now or I swear I'll knock you out!

That is classic Walford foreplay, man.

Let go of me!

Look. I am really sorry for what I said at the party.

Well, so you should be.

-I didn't mean it.

-You wouldn't say it, if you didn't think it was true.

-I can explain.

-No! No. There's nothing to explain, all right?

You go your way, I'll go mine, and end of.

-I don't want that.

-Peter! I don't need a posh boy coming into my...

Can you just let me talk?

This is actually really hard and you're not making it any easier!

I never thought that you would even consider going out with me.

-Why?

-And then Poppy told me that you like me.

And I'm going to kill her, if she's got it wrong.

But it's obvious, isn't it? Why would I get so angry

-when I see you with someone?

-Because you like me.

No... Well, I do, I do! But it's more than that.

I'm mad about you. Your sense of humour, your crazy temper,

the way you are with Lexi...

I think you're stunning.

And I can't stop thinking about you.

I don't want to see you with anybody else.

I want you to be with me.

Flour, eggs?

And milk?

Good girl.

Right, I need you to go to the bathroom and wash your hands, please.

OK.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Hi, darling. How are you?

I'm making pancakes.

-Great.

-Good day?

-Yeah.

Listen, I've been thinking, maybe it is time for a change of job.

You don't have to do this for me.

No, I miss working in restaurants.

I'm really pleased you've changed your mind,

and I'll be right here beside you, every step of the way.

I know you will.

So I'm going to give Ian a ring, ask about the details.

You can start your trial tomorrow.

-Tomorrow?

-Mm-hm.

I've already spoken to Ian.

Because I knew when you thought about it you'd see I was right.

All right, Mummy?

Smells nice in here.

Have you spoken to Dad today? I can't get through to him.

No, I haven't spoken to him.

Mum, why did you only set two places?

Um...

Look...your dad's not coming for dinner.

What, is he still on that job?

He's gone.

To where? What, Birmingham?

No. Birmingham was just an excuse. He's... He's left us.

Mum, stop being silly, OK?

You heard what he said. He's going away for a couple of days and he'll be back.

Dexter, he's not coming back. He's gone.

He's gone for good.

I hate it when me and Terry row.

Hardly a row. You didn't even get into second gear.

I ain't that bad.

Dot's done a good job on these, we can still sell 'em.

You know what it is, it's that house,

we don't get a minute to ourselves, you know.

It's a bit much, taking all of us on.

He's a big boy, he knows what he's got himself into.

You don't think he's having second thoughts?

Are you joking, a catch like you?

Look at you - Elizabeth Walton.

Mum, why would he just go without telling me?

I don't know. Maybe... Maybe he just needed some time.

Maybe he thought that's what was best for you.

-There's nothing wrong with the transplant, is there?

-No.

He's not answering. This don't make sense!

Dexter, look, me and your dad broke up, OK?

That's what was happening at the party?

Yeah.

-Where are you going?

-I'm going to find him, Mum.

Dexter! Dex! Dexter, please.

Dexter! Dex!

Dexter! Dex, stop!

He wouldn't leave without telling me.

-He wouldn't have done that, Mum.

-Why?! Why wouldn't he?

Look, 20 years ago he did it.

All of those Christmases, birthdays,

anniversaries without him.

-Really, you think he couldn't do it again?

-No.

-Why?

-Because he's changed.

-No, he hasn't.

Look, we've always been OK, haven't we?

Me and you, we've always been fine. We've always done OK, babe.

-Is it me, Mum? Am I why he's gone, Mum?

-No.

Mum, just tell me. What did I do wrong, Mum?

No, baby... No, it's not you. It's not you.

It was me.

I told him to go.

I told him I didn't want him around any more.

£4.80, please. Lovely, thank you.

BANGING ON DOOR

-Trace, sort the change out for me, darling?

-Yeah, sure.

BANGING Yeah, all right!

Kat, I thought Tommy was staying with me tonight?

Room at the inn for one more?

Are you serious? What? You changed your mind?

You're moving back in?

If you'll have me?

What, is this the old Kat coming through?

No. The new one is nuts about you.

I've just remembered. I kept something for you.

-Have you?

-No, no, get your mind off that.

You kept it?

Course I kept it. I couldn't get rid of this, could I?

Welcome home, Kat.

Cleaning squad, cleaning squad, attention!

Yeah, we're going to have to work on that drill, ain't we?

The kids have cleaned the house?

Yeah. Well, we couldn't go on like this, could we?

Cos we'll end up killing each other.

I thought of something about the bedrooms.

Put the boys in the same room downstairs, all the girls upstairs with your mum.

We stay in the same room and maybe put your dad in there.

And to create a bit of space, I took all nonessential items

and they're all going in the garage.

And we've even got a cleaning rota. What do you think?

Well...

DOORBELL RINGS

I thought you were... Look, it's great!

Thanks.

I told you to get a room!

Mum!

All right, all right, all right!

Yeah?

Mum!

Mum!

You came!

Nikki, what are you doing here?

Visiting my family.

SHE SIGHS

-Does this top go with these jeans?

-Mm? Yeah, it's lovely.

Dad, you didn't even look.

Yes, Lauren, it looks fine.

I'm not Gok Wan, am I?

I thought you only had counselling.

Oh...

We couldn't let you start your first day without looking the part.

Don't you like it?

Yeah, it's great. Thanks, girls.

Bella, why don't you go and finish your breakfast?

Is something wrong?

No.

It's just... I mean,

if the trial doesn't work out, I've still got my cab licence, right?

Yeah, that might be a problem,

seeing as I sold your car to Max last night.

Are you winding me up?

-Sade?

-We can put the money towards a nice four-by-four.

Yeah, and what if the trial doesn't work out?

You're not a cabbie. You're a chef.

A very good chef.

Ian will see that.

Come on, you'll be late for counselling.

TEXT ALERT

Thank you very much. See you later.

You all right?

Lauren, come on. This is stupid now. I miss being mates.

I know Lucy does as well.

My dad would still be inside if your dad had told his lies.

-I know, I'm really sorry.

-You could've said something, Peter.

I didn't know what to do. My dad was all over the place.

Luce thought he was going to have another breakdown and disappear again.

Please. Mates?

Fine.

I'll say hello and whatever.

And we might be able to be mates later on.

But...I can't just forget what you did.

Nikki's on her way round to see the kids.

I thought she lived miles away.

So did I, but she crashed at the B&B.

Hi, everyone. Hello, darling.

I hope you don't mind me sticking around today.

I won't see them for a bit. I fly long-haul tomorrow.

-Oh, really, where are you going? Anywhere nice?

-New York.

-Great for shopping.

-Yeah, lovely(!)

-Speaking of which...

# Ta-da! Ta-da! #

-Oh, cheers, Mum.

-Thanks, Mum.

-You spoil them, Nik.

Oh, I almost forgot...

I wasn't sure you'd be that fussed, but I got you a signed CD anyway...

Oh, my gosh!

-Is that One Direction?

-I met them on a flight to Chicago.

-Oh, lovely...

-Is Harry as gorgeous in real life?

-Yes.

-Did you meet Zayn?

-Yes.

Harry even gave me one of his peanuts.

-I would've kept it for ever.

-Oh, my gosh.

-Right.

Come on, you two. School. Before you faint.

Go on, off you go, get ready.

See you later. Bye.

Do you fancy a catch-up over lunch?

You as well, Bianca. I saw a place down the road.

-Scarlett's...?

-Oh, it's overrated.

Yeah, Bianca's got to work anyway, so...

Oh, listen. Look, why don't I do something to eat here, yeah?

Maybe come round about 12-ish?

Yeah, that would be great.

Here's my wash, Mrs B.

Oh, ta. Tomorrow.

All right. So, how's the old church roof fund coming along?

You must be close to your target.

I've got other things on my mind, Arthur.

You know, what with Jim not being none too well and Alice in prison.

I still can't believe she killed Michael.

Well, Lord knows how she got involved with him in the first place.

I mean, all I can think of is her in that awful place at Christmas.

Come on, Mrs B. You're going to make yourself ill.

You need to keep yourself busy, yeah? I mean, look...

All right, how much do you need?

A hundred quid or thereabouts.

Well, how about a carol concert, you know?

Me and Fats can get a choir together.

Babe, come on! I've heard you sing in the shower.

I'm not letting you loose on Silent Night.

I hope that weren't in my shower, Arthur?

N-No, there was... There was one time.

Normally I'm downstairs when she is...

Anyway, Mr Cowell, got any better ideas?

Well, it is nearly Christmas... You know, what about mince pies?

I ain't got time for baking, Arthur.

Not with my shifts here and my church warden duties.

Mrs B, don't you worry about it, all right?

I have got it covered.

And I promise, by the end of the day, to turn that frown upside down.

So, what, that's it?

Life just goes on like Dad never came here, Mum.

Oh, Dexter, I don't know what to say.

Mum, help me find out where he's gone.

I haven't the faintest idea where to start.

You're telling me he just packed his bags and left?

No hint of where he was going? No clue? No nothing?

Sorry.

DOOR SLAMS

FRONT DOOR SLAMS

Where were you this morning?

I swapped appointments. I'm seeing a different counsellor now.

-Why?

-Because I don't want to make this any harder for you.

Well, what do you want me to do? Just pretend that you don't exist?

It'll get easier.

How can you just turn your feelings off?

Oh, hiya. Look, I was going to give you a call.

Can you come in an hour early? I know it's your first day,

but the fridge's broken and I've got to get it sorted.

-Yeah, sure.

-Brilliant. Cheers.

Wow. Really is all change, ain't it?

It's just a trial. Look, I've got a busy day...

Why are you changing the subject?

Because there's nothing left to say.

Maybe you should keep yourself busy as well.

What? So, that's it then?

I don't get a say because MY feelings don't matter?

Keep your voice down, will ya?

What else is there left to say?

What about everything that you said to me? That you loved me.

And I stupidly believed it.

-Don't do this to yourself, all right?

-How long have you known?

Known what?

That she wanted you back. Ages, I'm guessing.

You just strung me along anyway.

Get your end away while you still can...

-Don't be silly.

-You didn't have the guts to face me this morning.

You'd rather carry on like nothing happened.

I'm sorry for the way things ended, all right?

But it doesn't change anything.

I love my wife.

So, please, just accept it and move on.

I don't know what Terry saw in her in the first place, Kat.

..Oh, YOU are such a filthy cow!

I don't want that image in my head, thanks very much.

..Yeah, all right, well, look, thanks for covering for me.

I owe you one.

Bit inconsiderate, weren't it,

her dishing out presents in front of my kids?

Well, that's Nikki, you know. All show. I've got to pop out.

-I've got a job to Croydon.

-Croydon? That's miles away.

-Yeah,

and I don't think I'm going to get back for lunch.

Are you having a laugh?!

What am I to talk to her about if you're not here?

I wouldn't worry. She'll do all the talking.

I have got absolutely NOTHING in common with her.

-I can't turn it down. We need the money.

-Sorry, am I interrupting

-a domestic? Have you seen a blue logbook, Bianca?

-Look,

I'll be as quick as I can, I promise, eh?

The logbook? It's blue. Come on.

-Listen, Dad, listen...

-What?

-I need to ask you a favour, please.

OK. So, what? Where are they going with that?

Are you sending it back? Thought you didn't know where he was.

I had to let it go. I'm sorry.

You sold it?

Maybe you can use the money for a holiday or something.

I don't want a holiday, Mum.

Oh, Dexter.

Look, the sooner you accept this, the better.

He is gone.

-Is anyone serving?

-Alfie?

-The usual, love, yeah?

-Yes, cheers. Thanks.

Hello, mate.

-There you go, darling. Cheers.

-Thanks.

-Yeah, fits you like a glove, that.

-What does?

-This place.

Yeah, but I've got a stall to run as well.

Yes, I know. I was thinking, how about you come and do a few shifts when you can?

I might. If you make it worth my while.

I can give you a packet of peanuts, know what I mean?

Seriously, it's great having you and Tommy back home.

It's great being home.

KAT AND ALFIE LAUGH

Come on, let's just go to the caff instead.

-Why?

-I don't know what you've got to prove by coming here.

This is my local, isn't it?

Fine. Go on.

Well, it didn't take you long to get back behind the bar, did it?

Listen, Ronnie, we don't want any bother, all right?

-It's all right. We just came for a quiet drink, didn't we, Ron?

-Yeah.

I'd better get back to work on my stall.

ROXY CHUCKLES

Awkward.

Cheers, Cora. Nice and clean in here.

-I don't think it's been this clean since Tanya left.

-Not me.

-Lauren.

-Really?!

Thanks for tidying, Lauren.

Yeah, well, I live here too, don't I?

Are you feeling all right?

Yeah, fine. Why wouldn't I be? DOORBELL RINGS

I'll get it. See you later.

See you later. Does she seem all right to you?

I know you're looking out for her, Max,

but why don't you give her some space, eh?

I ain't going to make that mistake again, am I? See you later.

Hello, darling.

Nan, I need a favour.

OK.

-You all right?

-Are you all right? Shouldn't you be at work?

Milk run.

-Come on.

-What are you doing? Peter?

Peter!

No... Not here, all right?

Pops is out tonight

and I'm sure the gruesome twosome are going to be down the pub, so...

-What time?

-About eight.

OK.

HE WHISTLES

Oh, Peter...

-SHE CHUCKLES

-See ya.

Stop wasting time talking to that chav.

You're supposed to be running a business.

PHONE RINGS Oh, I got to take that.

Hey, P-Diddy Beale,

Can I interest you in some home-made mince pies, all right?

All donations are going to Mrs B and the church fund.

Hey, you buy before you try, bruv.

Isn't it "try before you buy"?

No, no, no, times are hard, bruv.

No, no, no...

Are you actually kidding me?!

That is disgusting. What have I done to you to deserve that?

Mate, come on, have a heart.

I'm just trying to help out Dot, you know, and the church.

It's for Dot?

Yeah.

I think I might be able to help you out.

Everything about her gets on my nerves - even her face.

-You know who she reminds me of?

-Who?

She reminds me of that trout pout - Sam Mitchell, yeah.

Darling, I could be doing without this.

I'm supposed to be at an auction.

Oh, please. Please just wait until Terry comes back.

I can't deal with her.

She's so annoying. DOORBELL RINGS

Go on...smile.

-You all right?

-Hiya...

Oh, they're nice. You shouldn't have. Come in.

-Where's Terry?

-He had to go out on a last-minute job.

My dad's here, though.

-Hi. Hello.

-Hello.

-I'm Nikki. Nice to meet you.

-Yeah, likewise. David.

-You look nice.

-Thank you.

-You want to sit down?

-Yeah.

Do you want a drink, Nikki?

-Oh, I'd love a wine if you've got one.

-Yeah, sure.

Coming up.

Excuse me.

Here you are, mate. These will sort you out.

Oh, brother, are you serious?! Ain't your dad going to go mad?

Mate, I could not care less.

Pete, you're the man. You know that, right? You know that.

I won't forget this, brother.

-See you later, mate. You owe me.

-I do owe you.

But you said it was coming in after two.

No, I AM close, but that's not the point.

Fine. I'll be there in a minute. I'll be there in a minute!

A delivery's just come in to R&R.

OK, so go.

Why don't you come with me? We'll get a bite to eat at the caff.

-I haven't finished my drink.

-Roxy?

Stop telling me what to do, please!

Ron, go. I'll be fine.

Are you sure?

-Yes.

-Right, I'll see you later.

-OK.

Another double rum, please, Trace.

You look like you need cheering up. Want a drink?

D'you know what? Yeah, to hell with it.

I will have a vodka tonic. Double, please.

You're on.

Are you all right?

You all right? Do you need a hand with anything? Phone calls? Filing?

-I thought you were going for a run?

-I'll wash the cars if you want.

Why do I get the impression that something's bothering you?

Have you got any jobs or not?

-You can talk to me about anything, you know that, don't you?

-Dad?

All right, yes. A couple of motors could do with a wash.

Don't worry about that one, I've already polished it.

What is it even doing here?

I bought it off Sadie last night.

All right, you know where the bucket is, don't you?

Mate, this says "baby sweetcorn" and this is corn on the cob.

And where's the mozzarella, eh?

Boss, this delivery's wrong.

I'm sorry to do this to you on your first day,

but you deal with it. I've got to go back to the caff.

The repair man they've sent me is beyond useless.

Any problems, give us a call.

Brilliant.

So, what do you call yourself these days?

It's not a stewardess, is it? Cabin crew?

In-flight service manager.

And what sort of countries do you fly to?

How long you got? Long haul mainly.

America. Thailand.

-Wow.

-Saudi.

Really?

How about you, Bianca? What do you do?

Oh, I just sell knocked-off clothes on my stall down the market.

So will you be flying off anywhere far away this Christmas?

Oh, well, I usually book Christmas off but...

-Oh, what? To spend it with Terry?

-If you've got something to say...

-I'm just saying, don't get funny ideas about this Christmas.

-Stop it.

-I don't have to listen to this.

-I don't know who you think you are,

coming in here, with your presents and your perfect life.

-Lording it up...

-Hey!

Are you for real?!

I fly halfway round the world and back on barely a few hours' kip.

If I'm not clearing puke,

I'm serving champagne to a bunch of grubby old pervs in business class.

And, yeah, I buy my kids presents

because I don't see them half as much as I'd like.

My life's just one big barrel of laughs.

-Don't go. Come on, sit down.

-I'm sorry.

-Nikki?

-All right, look, fair enough.

What's that? An apology?

I was out of order, all right? Just sit down, will you?

Go on.

That's it.

Right, well, I'm done.

You? Ice cream?

God help Terry if he ever steps out of line.

Yeah. Too right.

SHE LAUGHS

Look, Mum, seriously, can you leave me alone? Because I'm busy.

What's this?

I'm moving out. What's it look like?

Yeah, that's right, I spoke to Nan.

She said I can stay with her.

Dexter, this isn't my fault.

So, whose fault is it? You kicked him out.

-I had to.

-Tell me why.

Because I thought it would be for the best. Oh, Dexter, please!

I'm begging you. Come on.

We're a team.

I can't even look at you.

They asked for medium rare, and that is cooked medium rare.

-Perfectly, you see?

-I'm sorry.

-Take those to table four.

BEEPING

-Come on, Carl. Get the drinks in.

-All right, all right. There you go.

-Oh, yeah. Cheers.

-Cheers. To what?

To a lucky escape!

He did you a favour. What is he? Like twice your age?

Alfie, I forgot.

Did you say that you was picking Tommy up from playschool, or did I?

Kat, come on, you know I did.

I mean, who wants to be stuck behind a bar 24/7?

How much more fun is it this side of the bar, Carl?

-Hmm?

-A quiet drink? How many's she had?

Listen, don't worry, you get back to the stall. I can handle Rox.

I wonder how long it's going to be before she cheats on him AGAIN.

What a mug.

You know what, it's dead out there.

So I think I'll stick around for a little while.

ROXY CACKLES

What's this?

Erm... Well, they're mince pies. Home-made. For charity.

What, you made 'em yourself?

-Yeah.

-Seriously?

Uh-huh.

-Can I try one?

-Yeah, yeah, please do.

D'you know what? That's not bad...

Not as good as the ones we sell in the caff, but that's not bad.

You've got a hidden talent there, Fatboy.

Well, actually, I'm selling them to raise cash for Dot

and the church fund. And all donations are welcome.

You know, there was this one guy who gave me, like, £5 for two,

which is good.

Well, I tell you what, as it's for Dot, and as you've put

so much effort in, I'll give you 20 quid for the lot.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-I'll flog them in the caff.

-You've got to be kidding?

-Lovely.

He says that every year.

He'll buy a last-minute frozen turkey

and most likely forget to defrost it.

Yeah, I can believe that.

What am I letting myself in for?

No offence, but I'd rather you than me this year.

Listen, ladies, I'm going to push off, all right?

Yeah, you push off...

Nikki, it's been a pleasure to meet you.

-Lovely to meet you too.

-Hope to see you again.

And you. Bye.

Bye-bye.

Wait till you see his Santa toilet seat cover.

It's tacky as hell. Terry's favourite thing in the world.

-You are joking?!

-He rolls it out every year.

Rolls what out?

We're talking about you, not to you.

You missed a lovely meal, Terry.

Yeah, was it all right?

My blue shirt, do you know where it is?

In the front room, in the ironing.

Well, I checked this morning. I couldn't see it.

I know I put it in there because I ironed it myself.

It's right there, you doughnut.

You're getting on all right, aren't you?

-Yes, now we've cleared the air.

-What do you mean?

I said a few things I shouldn't have said, that's all.

-Bianca!

-No, well, you know, I'm glad I did.

I completely got the wrong end of the stick.

I never thought I'd say this, but she is really all right.

You really shouldn't be here.

I'm not a needy person, all right? All I did was fall in love with you.

And now I'm supposed to just walk away,

while you go back to your family.

You really want to have this conversation here and now?

Where's Ian?

Are they supposed to be that colour?

Argh!

-What are you doing?

-What's it look like?

I haven't got time for games, Lauren.

Fine. You get the sack before you've even got the job then!

All right, all right.

-Come on, just choose it.

-Rox, I've done it already.

-I am choosing it... Oh, we've done it.

-We've done it already.

-Whoo!

-Come on, come on.

-Let's have another one, yeah?

-Yeah.

Mrs B, have I got a surprise for you.

You know that £100 that you needed?

I don't know what to say. Finally. I made it.

Yes, you have. See? I told you I'd turn that frown upside down.

God bless you, Arthur. Oh, thank you. Thank you ever so much.

I'll make sure that the vicar mentions you in the services

next week. I can't wait to tell him.

Thank you, Mrs B. I tell you what, I'll walk you home.

That's very nice of you, thank you.

Oh, it's like a wake in here.

DANCE MUSIC STARTS Now, this is a tune!

I'll turn it up.

-Turn it up.

-Excuse me.

MUSIC GETS LOUDER Whoo!

Whoo!

This is like my Ibiza days, when I was single.

CHEERING

Bet you were unstoppable, weren't you? Unstoppable.

I was unstoppable.

Unstoppable!

SHE WHOOPS

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Whoo! Come on!

What the hell is she playing at?

You want to stop her before she breaks her neck.

All right, darling.

Roxy, get off the table...

Rox!

Roxy, get down off the table! Roxy!

Roxy? Rox, come on, sweetheart. Roxy, you OK?

You all right?

Get off of me!

YOU do not touch me EVER again!

Phil, you might want to get her home. She's had one too many.

All right, the show's over, everyone, OK?

The show's over.

-There we go. Table three.

-Thanks.

Whoo!

Ooh, what I wouldn't give for a glass of that right now.

The whole bottle?

Yeah.

You were wrong earlier.

I didn't say anything I didn't mean.

If I wasn't married...

What?

Things would be different.

Lauren?

Knock, knock...

Hiya.

I didn't know you worked here.

Lauren just came to see if there were any jobs going.

Yeah. So will you tell Ian that I've been in?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Winning?

Yeah, like riding a bike.

Don't worry, it went in the risotto - not down my neck.

Shame, really. Decent bottle of plonk.

Not even REMOTELY funny.

Come on, Sadie, lighten up. I was just kidding.

Sometimes I don't get you at all.

Thanks for having me, Bianca. Terry's really landed on his feet.

-Don't he know it.

-Not like his last few disasters.

Last few? What do you mean?

Well, it's always the same. Whirlwind romances.

I've lost track of the number of women he's shacked up with.

I hope he settles this time.

You'll be different, though - I can tell.

-See you later.

-See you.

Lauren?

A close call, I know.

It's fine. It won't happen again.

Wait.

I get the message, all right? I shouldn't have tried to kiss you.

That's not even why I came.

This is yours.

Wait.

So, why did you come?

Because I miss you.

Are you trying to mess with my head?

DOG BARKS OUTSIDE

Alfie. Alfie, you awake?

No.

What's that barking?

Can't hear it, I'm asleep.

-Alfie...

-What?

Oi! Sh! Sh! Shut up!

Go on, get along!

I've got to be on a train in three hours.

The beauty product expo. In Salford.

Remember?

You want me to make you some sandwiches for the trip? Sade?

I don't want sandwiches, I want that dog to shut up.

Yes, oh, yes. Come on!

Oh, this is so, so, good...

Hey, Kat, Christmas countdown has started.

-Count me out.

-Day One.

Christmas decorations arrive and local council make

up for last year and turn Walford into London's brightest bauble.

Come on, Day One. Ready? Day...

Day One. I get it.

Thought you'd have grown out of Christmas by now.

No, come on, this is what it's all about, eh?

Christmas, me, you and Tommy in the Vic where we belong.

HE LAUGHS

Mummy? Mummy? Mummy?

Amy.

Here you are. Do you want a bucket?

Oh, no. I'm good, I think.

C'mon, try and sit up. C'mon. Roxy, sit up.

Oww. Oww. My back...

Your silly mummy.

Ron, will you do me a favour?

Will you take her to school, get her dressed?

I can't face going out yet.

Yeah, course. No worries.

Oh, thank you.

Seriously.

Oww. What is it with my back?

You landed on it.

I did, didn't I? Was I on a table?

Yep.

Oh, God. Oh, no!

Ron, this is the bit where you're supposed to jump in

and say it wasn't as bad as you think.

I wish I could.

Was I a complete embarrassment?

No, you were just angry. You were upset.

So that's a yes then. Oh.

-Right, come on. Has everyone got everything?

-Yes.

-See you later.

-Is your mum in there somewhere?

-No. She stayed out last night.

-Oh, right.

Right, just be careful, please, and have a nice day

and don't get in trouble, will ya?

-When you say stayed out...

-At Masood's.

I don't think she's working till later

so if you want to go round there if it's urgent.

-No, I'll leave it thanks.

-Listen, have you got a minute?

-Er, yeah.

-I need a word.

You are making a right mess, aren't you?

Do you want to eat it? You all right, babe?

Do you want anything?

Erm, no, no thanks.

You still not sleeping?

Nope. I didn't sleep a wink last night.

Well, go and have a lie down on the settee, I'll bring you in a blanket.

Don't worry about Scarlett, I'll see to her.

All right, well, if you don't mind.

-But please stay in the house, I don't want you wandering out there.

-Yes, sir.

No, I'm being serious.

Last thing I want is the whole world finding out about us.

DOORBELL RINGS

-I'll get it.

-No, no, no, you stay there.

All right, come on, eat up.

Right, two things.

The Wilsons need their tenancy agreement signed today

-and Danny's got a problem with a tenant refusing to pay.

-I'm sure that he can handle it.

And Lucy said the VAT man wants paying as well.

He's round early, ain't he?

-Yeah. Goodbye, Billy.

-Janine... What about this tenancy agreement?

I don't need to be in the office, do I? I can just sign it round here.

-Oh, come on.

-You all right, Billy, mate? You done?

-Am I done what?

-Well, is there anything else?

-Well, no, I suppose I could...

-Yeah, all right, come on then.

-Bring the tenancy agreement over later.

-Good good. All right, mate.

-Yeah, yeah, all right, mate.

-Be lucky, won't you?

I'll get you that blanket then, yeah.

Look, I know this is stupid, right? Look, Terry's great, yeah?

He says all the right things.

You don't trust him, do you?

I'm sure he believes everything that he says to me, yeah?

But he's got a track record of moving from one woman to the next.

-What?

-Well, like you, ain't it?

So I just want to know why he does it.

Darling, I don't do that any more.

All right, maybe that's not you any more, so why has it stopped?

What's different now then?

Well, I suppose I'm just a better person, ain't I?

Yeah, but how did that happen?

Because I got a clearer idea of what I want out of life.

Think he knows what he wants?

Well, he sounds pretty genuine.

Yeah, but he could say that to dozens of women, couldn't he?

You don't know what he's said to dozens of women.

Well, you do. Because you've said exactly the same thing.

Look, come on, just give me one thing. Just one thing to make me trust him.

-Yeah, see...can't.

-Bianca...

Morning.

Yeah, it definitely is that.

What have you said to her now?

Absolutely nothing.

Why do I always get the blame in this house? Carol, listen...

No, listen, I can't stop, I've got to get changed for work.

-No, I need to have a word with you.

-No, sorry, I'm in a bit of a rush.

-I want to ask you about...

-What?

-About Christmas. What are we all going to do?

As a family I mean.

I suppose we'll have it here.

Oh, good. Was hoping you'd say that.

I know, but Mas might be going to Pakistan to see Kamil.

Oh. Well, let's hope he does.

It'll be nice for him to see his kid, won't it?

Yes, and if it doesn't happen then I shall invite him here.

Why would you do that? He's a Muslim.

-They don't do Christmas.

-Mas does.

Carol, this is about us. Us lot.

Family. We're together for the first time in years.

Family, Carol. Us and only us.

Yes, and who's going to be stuck with all the cooking and the tidying

while Bianca and Terry are all loved up and the kids are charging about.

Then again, if Mas was here you'd be the one wearing the pinny,

wouldn't you?

So. Christmas.

DOG BARKS

That sounds like it's right outside our door.

Right, your mum always made a big list, didn't she?

You know, things to do, things to buy, things to eat. So, any suggestions?

You know what I'd really love? Goose instead of turkey.

What you talking about? I ain't cooking a goose. No, Lauren, you must be joking.

You'll be wanting swan next.

-Uh, Lauren...

-No, just want something different.

-Is it that dog again?

Dad, wait, about Christmas, me and Lauren...

Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

-PHONE RINGS

-Finally.

One second.

Who's that from?

Lucy. Not that it's any of your business.

Right, yes, you and Lauren?

Well, Mum's asked us to go to hers.

Right. So are you going to go?

No, we haven't decided.

But we haven't seen Oscar or Mum in like ages.

Sounds like you have decided.

It's just a thought right now.

-That flaming dog!

-Wait, I'll sort it.

Hello, you. Hey. What's the matter?

You're so cute. You're cute. Where did you come from, eh?

Do you like that?

What?

Didn't say anything.

-You want to though, don't you?

-No, I don't.

It's fine, Kat. It's all right, I can take it.

Whatever it is, just say it, all right?

I don't want to say anything to you, all right? I promise.

Excuse me.

-Christmas?

-Oh, look, don't panic, it was just a thought.

You call those Christmas lights, you couldn't get less festive if you tried.

-You like a fairy light do you?

-Yes, I do. One or two. Hundred.

What can I get you?

-Just a tea, please.

-To take away?

That's strictly amateur, you know that, don't you?

Oh, shut up. You're looking at a seasoned seasonal professional.

-I am, where is he?

-No, no, no.

I'm known in these parts, wait for this, as the King of Christmas.

More like the Elf. Elfie Moon.

Let me tell you about the trip in Germany...

Rox?

I wasn't panicking.

It's just Tamwar was thinking about going and spending time with

Syed in Birmingham, and I sort of said I'd go with him.

It's all right, you do what you've got to do, Mas. Honestly.

PHONE RINGS

I thought you were ignoring me. Listen, Sadie's away for the day.

And I need to see you.

-Well?

-I feel really bad now.

Don't be silly.

Just would've been nice to have you round at ours, that's all.

Look, let me speak to Tam.

You know, he might want to spend Christmas here after all.

Especially if I buy him that box set of Blake's 7.

Yeah, well, fingers crossed.

Yeah, it'd be nice to have you round.

Do us one of my coffees, please, Carol.

DOORBELL RINGS

Sorry, is this a bad time?

What? No. Come in.

I'll be two seconds, I promise.

I was just asleep on the sofa. All right?

Whatever, it's none of my business anyway, is it?

Joey was just looking after Scarlett.

Joey? Joey? Joey?

I told him not to take her out.

-Do you want me to go and find him?

-No, I don't want people talking.

Janine, what do you expect? Joey is Alice's brother.

You think Alice, you immediately think Michael.

Not sure I need a lecture right now, thank you.

He's in your house, he's feeding your kid, he's running errands,

he's wandering around like you're man and wife or something.

Well, that is not how it is.

Oh, wake up, will ya? His sister killed your husband.

His sister, Janine. Look, I get that you're lonely, all right?