15/12/2013 EastEnders Omnibus

PATRICK CHUCKLES Hey, what's got into you?

Alfie, what the devil have you done?

No, no, no! Get out of my way!

No, Phil. You deserved it. I what?! You deserved it!

You know I'm right, Kat.

You know Janine did it. In your heart, you know.

No, let's be clear.

I want your sister to go to prison for a very, very long time.

Alfie?

Alfie!

What are you doing? Sweetheart, no time to explain. You need to pack a bag for you and Tommy straightaway.

No. I'm not doing anything until you tell me what you're doing!

OK.

As long as you promise not to get mad, all right?

He threw that thing. That thing. Of all things.

You told him to beg!

Imagine if someone had said that to you! Well, I'd kill them. So what?

I don't get you two. It's me that has been dumped here.

We were looking out for you.

Yeah? OK, what you going to do now?

You going to go round there, smash his head in, get sent down?

What we selling the Vic for, to pay your legal fees?

Well, I ain't letting this go. Do you understand me? You started it!

Stop being such a child!

You've done this to stop me and Amy leaving, haven't you?

You think you know what's best for me. Do you?

OK, all right, well, understand this.

You hurt Alfie...and we are gone.

Over to you.

Janine!

Janine, come on, open the door, will ya? Please!

Janine!

Open the door. Please.

All right! Just...hear me out. Please.

Look, this whole thing has been a mistake. OK? I was...

You were just there.

This morning, with Alice, I was trying to get her to plead guilty.

And?

Well, will you let me in?

Those agency chefs, they're not all that. You can't build a business on them.

That's why you need to create a good relationship with Jake.

You can't be friends with employees!

Well, me and Zainab managed.

Ish. But you two weren't...

When you're the boss, sometimes you have to make difficult decisions.

Be a git, you mean. That's a very strong word.

You don't want to have dinner at Jake's because you're frightened

that you're not going to be able to treat him like dirt at work. Precisely!

No.

Yeah, all right, kind of. Oh, Ian, just book the chef. It'll be fun. I promise.

Be grateful. I never get invites.

Just the noodles, please.

Max!

You busy tonight?

Er, no. Don't think I am. Why?

Denise and Ian are coming for dinner. Come. Bring a date.

Seven o'clock! Black tie. No, I'm joking. Smart though, yeah?

Dexter not back yet? Er, no.

All right, Lauren. All right.

I've just been invited round Sadie's for dinner. She said bring a date.

That little black book of yours must be a bit threadbare by now.

Yeah, anyway, I don't fancy going on my own, so...

What, you need your hand holding? No, I'll probably need a translator.

His accent ain't that bad, Dad.

No, it's Sadie, innit? Find her a bit pushy.

Fancy it?

It's not sunny out.

Yeah, well, it's not sunny in here either, is it?

Oh! It's bright in here though, innit?

You'd better have been to work.

Come on, Nan.

Don't tell me you ain't never pulled a straight-through before?

Yeah, the whole window. You can come today?

That's perfect, thank you. Cheers.

You'll stay...if I don't hurt him?

Then I'm going to need something else. You was close to Alfie.

What does he care about more than anything else in the world?

Phil... If you don't want me to break his legs,

I'm gonna need an alternative, ain't I?

What is the one thing that Alfie loves?

Apart from Kat and Tommy?

Do I really need to tell you?

Kat, you can't be serious.

I'm not running away, I'm not hiding up there. But going round there?!

You haven't left me much choice!

Paddy, keep an eye on me bag.

Do you know, when they let him out,

we just sat in front of the television all day and...and cried.

Yeah. I prayed for the first time in...years when I heard the news.

Oh, just to say thank you.

It's like when you see him, you just...

You feel...hope.

OK, see ya. See ya.

Well, the solicitor wanted her to plead guilty to manslaughter.

All these nightmares you've been having...

I had to do something to help, so me and Carol went to see her.

And what did she say?

Well, it weren't exactly pretty, but she is going to do it.

She is going to plead guilty.

Course, it makes sense for her too, cos it'll reduce her sentence.

I ain't gonna deny that. But...

Look, the important thing, Janine, is...

that by Christmas Eve... all of this...will be over.

All right?

Just...do me a favour, yeah? Don't mention anything to Carol.

Cos...she's a little bit upset about it all.

Well, I didn't see that coming.

Dexter rolled up at lunch time, in case you're interested.

Maybe he finished early.

As in, from the night before.

Well, he's only young once.

Oh! I'm sure Phil's going to see it that way.

As I'm sure Dexter won't be unemployed by tomorrow.

Well, has Phil said something?

So you DO care.

Are you hurt? No.

But thank you for coming round to find out.

We've come to speak to Phil. Well, he's not home.

So where is he? I just about stopped him coming round and killing you.

Well, that can't have been easy.

I didn't do it for you. I did it for him. I don't want him inside for Christmas.

So, um, how was he when he left?

I'd get home if I was you.

Look, just bill us for the damage. Alfie...

What do you mean, get home? Where's the Queen? He took it with him.

Look, I tried to help you, OK? Whatever happens next...

it's your fault.

It's only two more guests.

Well, I didn't get enough food.

You'll make it stretch, Jake.

Max is nice. He could be a friend.

I can choose my own mates, you know.

What's got into you?

We had such a nice day.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hi. You all right? Come on in. Thanks.

You all right? Yeah, good. Hi. It's Max.

Hello, mate. Glad you could make it.

Cheers, mate. All my dates were busy, so...

So he roped the baby-sitter in. Yeah.

Can I take your coats?

Yeah, cheers.

Thanks. Smells good. Look at that.

Thanks, darling. Thank you.

Tell me again. He puts it down... And walks out without saying a word.

Well, maybe he's letting you off.

I just checked the cellar cos I thought he might've taken all the booze, but he hasn't.

The look on Roxy's face, I thought he'd burned the place down again!

Not before he's sold it!

Phil's gonna do something. And it won't be about money for repairs.

This is Phil we're talking about. He's gonna try and hit me where it hurts.

Pint, please, Patrick.

Anyway, said I'd help me mum cook. Let me know what happens, yeah?

All right, see you later, sweetheart.

Looking out for Cora? Nah. She already got me.

Your mum... She's hurting, you know.

And I'm not, Patrick?

Alfie, please tell me you parked the Capri somewhere else today... No. Why?

Ian. Hi, come on in! Come on then.

Don't make me do it with my dad.

HE SIGHS

I win!

Does that mean I wear the hat, or you do?

You get to choose.

In that case, I choose you.

Ian and Denise are here, everyone.

All right, Denise. All right, Ian.

Max... I didn't know you were coming.

Why, do I need my lawyer?

Why don't you have a seat? And Ian, you go next to her.

Who'd like some wine?

Oh, yes, me, please! Look at all this!

Dunno whether to eat or take a photograph.

Feel free to do both!

Tell you what, this place is lovely.

You'll have to give me the tour, won't you?

Thank you. And for you?

No, I'll just have some water.

Oh, OK. Here you go.

Thank you.

Right...

now that everyone's pretty much got their glasses charged, I think

now is a good time to have a toast to Jake and Ian working together.

Yeah, here's to a fruitful partnership.

ALL: Cheers.

Talking of which, I don't know why I didn't think of you sooner...

No, Ian. All right? Whatever it is...no.

All right, everybody tuck in. I'll check on the main.

It's too much for one of us. He's asked for 800 grand.

We could put together a company, he need never know it's us.

No, I've got a hard enough time trying to buy the house off Jack.

Max, think about it, business partners.

We could keep Alfie and Kat on. How much would Phil hate that?

I ain't gonna invest in a failing industry just to put Phil Mitchell's nose out of joint!

Really? Can you let it go, please?

I'll go see if he needs any help in the kitchen.

It'd be good for us. OK? Help build bridges.

Ian. There is no us.

You shouldn't have come.

Was it just for the grown-ups?

Oh, is this is cos I called you the baby-sitter?

Maybe you should grow up.

I've been sent to see if you need any help.

As you know, I can peel, chop, slice, dice.

So, stir that.

Congratulations on the new job.

Just hope last week was a one-off.

Have you forgotten how close we were to getting caught?

So that's what this is, then? Just guilt?

Why does she want you to do it anyway? She must know.

We're just trying to move on.

Brush it under the carpet? Pretend that you're fine?

Don't question her, all right? She's suffered more than...

Jake, how are we doing? Nearly there.

Good. Don't want Ian thinking he's a slow cook.

Nice of her to pile the pressure on, eh?

What is it, Janine? We're just about to eat.

I'm so sorry... I won't keep you, I just...

I just don't know what to do.

You know what, you've got to get this on the menu at the restaurant.

He's got enough on his plate learning the other dishes.

On his plate! You can throw anything at my Jake.

He'll have this menu down in an afternoon.

It's not that simple. Ignore him, he's modest to the last.

Why don't you drink? Lauren...

He doesn't touch a drop when you're cooking, do you, babe?

Honestly, those chefs...

fat off their own food, drunk on the house red...

I think everyone's probably guessed.

I'm a recovering alcoholic.

Jake.

82 days clean.

Well, that is wonderful. Well done.

Yeah, well done, mate, that's a good stretch. Cheers.

Anyway, I don't really think this is the time to... I'm an alcoholic too.

82 days? Your sponsor must be proud.

He's a man of few words. Makes a change. Anyway...

Done really well, ain't you, Lauren? One hundred and...

169, yeah.

Well done.

Must be hard, working so close to alcohol?

You can't pretend it doesn't exist.

But that's hiding from it, not fighting it.

I know exactly what you mean.

He didn't just knock back a few alcopops.

Really? How bad was it?

I should have told you, Ian.

Look, if you want to find a new chef, I completely understand. No hard feelings.

No, no. Look, everyone deserves a second chance.

See? He ain't such a git after all!

THEY LAUGH

Well, I'm glad you can all have a laugh about it.

HE MOUTHS

Um, sorry, where's your loo?

Just upstairs. Straight ahead.

Paddy, is Kat back?

Not yet. Have you found it?

I've been looking all over the place.

Nothing. Where the hell do you hide a Capri, eh?

All right, Ava? Hey, Billy. You haven't seen Dexter, have you?

Dunno, I just got in here. You OK? Mum! What you doing here?

I came to see you, darling. For what?

Everyone's been coming up to me saying, "Your mum misses you, she's so worried."

But you ain't, you're out here on the pull! What? No, I came to talk to you...

I can see why you kicked Dad out. Billy Mitchell? You're moving up in the world(!) Oi!

Really worth breaking up our family over?

I wish I never came in here now. Mum, where are you going? You can't leave without his number! Go on.

What'd you do that for?

Look, what I just done was nothing! Yeah? Nothing compared to what she's done to me.

SHE SIGHS I don't know what to do.

I just needed somebody after Michael and he was there...

Well, grief does strange things to you.

He just gets so intense...

It's scary. He has had a bad day.

I know you went to the prison today to see Alice.

And that's fine, you know?

She's his sister, of course he's going to want to see her, but he just seems so angry at me.

I don't know what's going on inside his head.

He's trying to get Alice to plead not guilty.

Well, he believes in her.

But she's gonna get years! He's so pig-headed.

He thinks the jury's going to let her off cos she's sweet or something.

That's the trouble with the brooding type, isn't it?

Just never know what's going on underneath the surface, you can only guess at it.

What are you going to do?

About Joey? I don't know.

But thank you for the chat. You've been a real comfort.

MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO

KNOCKING AT DOOR

KNOCKING CONTINUES

He hates me!

I just tried to talk to him and he hates me.

Go through.

SHE SWITCHES OFF MUSIC Talk.

He just totally humiliated me... and Billy.

He's just accused us of trying to pull each other.

That boy needs a slap.

He still blames me for Sam leaving.

Then go and get Sam back.

I don't mean have a relationship with the man.

Just get together as a family and talk.

He didn't leave because of me.

Look, I get it.

I get that he got what he wanted and walked.

But you can't tell Dexter that his old man's a rat...

SHE LAUGHS BITTERLY Got what he wanted.

Whatever this is...

..I can keep a secret.

He left...

because I found out that he knew

he needed a kidney before he even came here.

All that wanting to get to know us.

Wanting to be a family. All he wanted...was a transplant.

FAINT MUSIC PLAYS

Lauren. Everything OK?

Yeah. I...

Busted! I'm so sorry.

I was...just being nosey.

Right.

It's just you've got the most beautiful jewellery!

Sorry.

Phil, come on, just tell us what you did with it!

Excuse me, you said you wanted no part of it.

Brace yourselves.

I've been looking for you.

Alfie is out of his mind with worry.

I'm telling you that cos that's what you want.

I'm giving it to you - what you want.

Right. Is that for you to decide?

There's two things going on here, and they ain't the same.

There's the pub and the car.

You know, she almost talked him round.

She went on and on about how she didn't want us to push you out,

how it was going to make her feel a lot worse.

And you know what, Phil said, "Actually, maybe she's got a point."

And then Her Royal Highness came flying through the window.

Did he choose that on purpose?

Course not, it's Alfie, he don't think.

So you did change your mind then?

Phil, he loves that car. It's part of him!

You should see him. All the blood's

drained from his face, he's sweating buckets.

This is revenge well over and above a window.

Do what you want with it. Everyone knows you've outdone him.

Everyone knows you're the boss.

Just please...

let us stay in the pub.

He really loves that car, does he?

Yeah. More than anything.

I'll let you talk it over.

You're not really going to change your mind?

Wonder where those two have got to.

Women, mate, they like to talk, don't they?

You're so lucky. You've got a beautiful house.

Jewellery. Family.

It hasn't come easy.

You all look so happy together.

You should see ours. Mum's gone.

Dad's looking for wife number 210.

I'm sorry I snapped earlier. When you were talking about your...

Drink problem?

SHE LAUGHS

Yeah. It's fine.

Seeing a place like this...

just proves if you want something bad enough you can get it.

Well, you never know. Maybe one day.

I need a job first. And no, baby-sitting doesn't count.

It's just hard, you know.

People have a habit of not trusting alcoholics.

Know what he asked me to do? He asked me to beg.

Asked me to get on my knees in front of Roxy and beg for this place.

How sick is that, eh? It was a cheap shot.

ALFIE SIGHS

I came back here... picked up the Queen.

She ain't half heavy. You can say that again!

And I was lugging her across the square...

Wish I could've seen the look on his face as it come

flying through the window. Beetroot red.

Veins popping everywhere!

I was so knackered, I didn't think I was going to get it past his gate!

So what did you do then?

I just gathered up all the strength I could muster...

..and I just chucked it straight through his window.

And I'll tell you something, Paddy...

it felt great.

You know, the car...

Me and Kat have been all over the country in that thing.

Phil, he's a car man. He wouldn't destroy a classic.

The car...the pub.

I've lost it all, you know.

Alfie. There she is. All right, darling?

What happened?

I found him. He was in the cafe. I tried.

I think I might've got somewhere...

You think he's going to give me the car back?

Hey, I love you, don't I?! Mwah.

Alf. Phil's downstairs. Wants to talk to you.

There you are.

Lauren was just checking out our bedroom.

Thought that was going to be our little secret?

What were you doing that for?

Oh, she was just being nosey.

I'd have done the same thing. Anyway, the good news is

that she's going to come and work for me again over Christmas.

Yeah? Back in the salon? Well done!

Be good to have someone in there I can trust.

Oh, well, that calls for another toast, don't it?

To Lauren. To me!

To Lauren, cheers. MAX: Cheers.

Cheers.

Ah! Listen up, everyone! Drinks on the house until the money runs out!

To Kat and Alfie.

ALL: Wahey!

On the house?

Thought we should celebrate, you know, settling scores.

Phil... You said he loved that car, didn't ya?

So, er, I brought it back.

Right, what's everyone having? Lager? Do you want a large one?

DEXTER: I'll have two tequilas, no, I'll have three!

HE MUMBLES

Mm-mm, you were having nightmares.

How long have I been asleep?

Just enough time for me to go over and see Carol.

Let me give you a little tip, shall I?

If you DON'T want someone to do something,

you should just probably not mention anything about it at all.

What you on about?

Well, telling me NOT to go and see Carol.

Of course, as soon as you were asleep I went straight over.

And she's been very helpful. She's told me everything.

How you've been to see Alice and begged her to plead NOT guilty.

That ain't true. And do you know what?

She actually... She actually thought

she was helping you out by telling me!

Oh, such a shame.

But I want you gone by the time I'm back.

Janine, don't... Ah, ah, ah.

We are so over, Joey. Whatever it was,

your big plan...

..it's finished.

So what happens now? You're not selling?

Is there anything better than a pub in full swing?

I miss it.

Phil, I can't see the car out there anywhere, mate.

That's cos it ain't out there. It's in here.

Take a look around.

No, I d-d-don't get it.

I, er... I sold your car for scrap and put the money behind the bar.

So, everyone in here, they're actually drinking your car, right?

Drinking it?

I don't negotiate, Alfie. You should know that by now.

You either roll over, or it gets worse.

Oh, and I've checked the contract for the Vic.

And it says "voidable in the event of unreasonable behaviour".

So, you...

You're out at Christmas.

HE CHUCKLES

Enjoy your drinks, everyone! Drink up!

MUSIC: "Merry Xmas Everybody" by Slade

GLASSES CLINK

BUSKER: # When the snowman brings the snow

# Well, he might just like to know

# He's put a great big smile on somebody's face

HORN BEEPS

# If you jump into your bed

# Quickly cover up your head... #

Shut up!

Chestnuts! Chestnuts!

You want to go see my therapist.

If you're lucky, she'll get the banjo out.

SHE LAUGHS

See you later.

Wow, that's great. And is Haroon coming?

'Yeah.'

Yeah? And what are you going to do?

'Eat kulfi.'

Oh, you're going to eat Kulfi! Kamil's new friend.

They're going to the zoo. They're going to eat kulfi.

Ah, that's sweet! So what animals are you going to see?

Little Kamil's got himself a little friend.

Oh, wow, so are you having fun with Haroon?

He's not Kamil's friend.

Oh, that's so funny. Crazy Haroon!

What are you talking about?

Are you crazy? 'No.'

No. You're a good boy, aren't you?

I hear the king's leaving his castle.

Don't you ever get tired? I'll take these ones, please.

Might put an offer in myself.

You know, take it a bit more upmarket.

You wouldn't know what upmarket was. Looks like times are changing, Phil.

# This year, to save me from tears... #

Oi.

You better hand your notice in today.

She's gonna wonder why, isn't she? Don't play games with me, Lauren.

You don't want me. You don't get a say.

Hey. Missing me already?

Yeah. Dream on. Listen, good luck today.

Thank you.

Are you ready for your first day back with us?

Yeah. Can't wait. It's gonna be great. Come on.

Bye.

Are you sure about this? SHE SIGHS

Yep. I've let work slip for far too long.

Yeah, but last time you went back too soon, didn't you?

Life goes on, Billy. Apart from those behind bars,

life goes on.

So have your shower before bed.

I don't want my shower before I go to bed. It's rank.

Well, suck it up, then. I want my showers in the morning.

But there's always someone else in there.

Liam never has a shower anyway.

That house does my head in.

You don't even know what they're really like, do you?

DOOR OPENS

This thing weighs a ton.

I nicked it from the club,

thought we could do with a bit more festive cheer around here.

You've got to do it, you know.

I know.

Just sign them. And then it's gonna be over.

Amy, come on, it's time to go to school!

So, want to decorate this bad boy with me later?

I'm not in the mood, Ron. Oh, come on, Roxy.

Amy, will you get a move on now!

Lovely, lovely, lovely. Size isn't everything.

No, it's what's inside that counts.

Right, there you go. Cheers. I was video-calling Kamil, you know.

Get you, geek boy! That looks nothing like my signature.

They all say that. That'll do, thank you. He's got a new friend.

Has he? Bet you miss him this time of year, don't you?

Yeah, it's gonna be weird.

So stick a stamp on a bit of love, eh?

Masood, are you looking for Carol? She ain't here, Mas.

No, I was just delivering... Some junk mail. Rubbish. Things.

Junk mail. Yeah, junk mail. See ya.

Is that...? Yeah, it is. Do you do this every year?

Mostly, yeah. But this year, you know, new home and that.

I've made it really big. Bet you miss Lapland.

HE LAUGHS

All right?

Dozy idiot forgot his bag.

TJ.

You all right with me?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm late for school.

DOOR CLOSES

I'll have a coffee to take away, please.

You know what I'd do with the pub, Phil? Open-plan kitchen.

Bit more modern, yeah?

If you think for one minute I'd sell the pub to you...

You're breaking up your empire, ain't ya?

I'm just offering a hand, if you need cash.

You are skating on very thin ice.

You'd better hope I don't fall through, then.

Wouldn't want Ben to get a little visit in prison, would we?

You stay away from my businesses, and my family.

Oi, would you two get back in the jungle?

Looking good today. Wish I could say the same.

Feisty. I like that. Feisty's just the start of it.

Carl was just going.

I was indeed.

Phil.

I don't want you talking to him. Will you please stop interfering?

I don't want you anywhere near him. It's my life.

Right, that is ?5.99 each, Mr Mas. ?5.99? Yeah.

You break your old one?

No, one for Kamil and one for his friend Haroon.

You know they can share, right?

Yeah, but everyone loves presents. Show him how we do things over here.

Why don't you just get him

some Brussels sprouts or a "Cliff Richard Sings Slade" CD?

You're like the Grinch that stole Christmas, you know.

Keep the change.

You can't tell him, bruv. You know that, right?

Isn't that what Grinches do?

All right, all right.

What is it? What, have I got a second head now or something?

You had no right, talking to your mother like that.

She chucks out my dad then she starts giving it all big over Billy Mitchell, yeah?

Sometimes things aren't always what they seem to be.

You know something...

I'm just saying, you're being very unfair to her.

Is this about her and my dad? It's not my place, Dexter.

Look, if someone would tell me where he is,

then he could talk to me himself. Yeah? Then ask her.

Someone looks rough.

Apology accepted.

Don't worry, I didn't tell him

what his pathetic excuse of a father done to him.

I didn't get that job.

That one I interviewed for the other day,

Head of the Children's Centre. I'm really sorry.

They did offer me something else though. Same post.

But in Newcastle.

I've got 30 irate customers out there waiting for their lunch.

This your charm offensive to get me to buy half the Vic with you?

Boring boss speech is finished, secret Santa's finished. Come on!

So give them a free drink. Oi listen, it's proper crazy out there!

No customers back here, please. Can I get some service, please?

Listen, have you heard from my dad? Why would I have heard from him?

He did some work for you here. That was ages ago! Be careful with that!

I thought you might have a number or something.

Well, I haven't, all right? Have you got room for two more?

No customers back here, please! There's no-one at the front desk

and I know you've got a big group in, but...

Look, this is really bad timing. It's Lauren's first day.

Just want to treat her to lunch, bit of a gossip.

Staff discount doesn't cover the Christmas menu, but follow me.

Service, please!

She isn't interested. I just wanted five minutes.

So unless you're after a property... I know what you said, but

I haven't stopped thinking about you, Janine. I haven't slept.

Am I not making myself clear here? Billy!

Please can you just go and clean a cupboard or something?

I know my timing isn't great, but can I have a word?

Yeah, course. Alfie. In private.

Estate agents are leaving.

Let me get you a drink.

Go away. Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on.

There's a couple of hubcaps' worth left behind the bar.

Get you one with that, shall I? Kat!

You threw a bust through Phil's window. What did you expect?

I'll see them out.

Well, you know, you and me. We were good together. Were we?

You know we were. We fitted. Like yesterday. When we...

And that's why you're here?

You're trying to wangle your way back between my sheets?

No. No, I'm not.

Well, yeah. Obviously I'd love to. Yeah, I bet you would.

I do like it when you're angry, Janine. It's very sexy.

Trust me, Joey. You have not seen me angry yet.

So what was last night, then?

That was like the kind of minor irritation that you feel

when you've got something stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

You're good at this, aren't you?

I think you know that I'm good at everything.

So what, is this the part where you ravish me across the desk?

All right, don't make it a joke, Janine.

Then I stroke your face so dreamily.

And then you ask me for a loan?

And you pretend that it's to buy me something really nice for Christmas.

Or that you've got behind with your rent.

Because you haven't exactly been working a lot lately, have you?

And then I chastise you because you're spending

so much time away, creeping off to see your little sister.

Janine, don't... Which you, of course, protest about.

And I joke, oh, am I paying you for services rendered?

That makes you really riled and that's when you say...

It's just a loan, Janine, OK.

So you can get your sister a better lawyer?

So that she can tell more lies about me?

He was my husband.

You really weren't at the front of the queue

when they dished out the brains, were you?

So I've been filling in the Nullity Form.

OK, so what? What do you need? A signature?

No. Not till you get the copy of my petition from the court anyway.

So...?

I have to describe how our marriage was never consummated, yeah?

I have to write down that I wanted to have sex with my husband,

but you refused me.

I mean, how shaming and embarrassing is that?

Rox, I'm sorry, all right?

Put it in black and white. You don't want me.

That we didn't have a wedding night.

Oh, and it's going to cost me ?410.

I thought we weren't going to need lawyers?

That's just for the application.

That's the least we can do. None of this was your fault.

If you...you need any more, OK.

I'm not a charity. It's what I'm owed.

She's trying really hard here, all right.

Do me a favour, just put another one in there, yeah?

Aren't you supposed to be picking up Amy soon?

Amy is nothing to do with you now, is she?

Dexter still not shown up yet?

He just had to go and get some parts.

I tell you what, he isn't getting any more chances.

Well, you've only just missed him.

I'm looking for my dad. Have you seen him?

Sam. Big guy. He works as a... I know who your dad is.

Yeah, well? He don't like people knowing his business.

Well, he's my dad!

He comes and he goes. Wherever the work is. Germany. Spain.

He swung by last week. And?

He comes and he goes. He came. He went.

Have you got his number or not?

I thought he was your dad.

PEOPLE CHATTER

Hi. Hi.

Lauren's been telling me some very interesting things. Yeah?

Yeah, about how her mum used to run the place.

The firms she did deals with, that sort of thing.

That's great.

Yeah, apart from that, we've just been talking about men.

Nothing bad, I hope? You know what us girls are like.

Anyway, I've got to go and corner Alfie.

Bet you two can't wait to get back to it.

That salon's not going to run itself, you know. See ya.

See ya.

Taking these to the post office. You want anything?

So you're...are you going to the High Street?

Yeah, cos you don't really want to go that far.

You see, there used to be a local post office.

Another Masood family business...

THEY CHUCKLE AWKWARDLY

You're being odd.

Odd? No.

No. What's happened?

Nothing. I'm not being odd. I'm not odd.

Your boy being odd? No!

Are you being odd? Me. No. I don't do odd.

You odd? No. Nothing odd here, then.

No, nothing. Nothing odd here.

Dad!

I thought a street party for Christmas Day.

Bit cold, ain't it?

Bonfire. Carols. Mulled wine.

You can have it in here if you like. Alfie...

Listen, if it's going to be our last day... A street party.

We've just given Roxy half our takings

and we've got no motor. Well, in for a penny.

We'll go out in style, can't we? That's what I was hoping for.

Sponsorship. Get everyone round the piano. A street party.

I could do my Father Christmas. A street party!

Something a little bit more sophisticated

than people round here are used to.

I hear Terry's very big on Christmas.

Might be a bit tacky, but perhaps...

Whoa, sweetheart, I can do sophistication, OK? Yeah?

I can give you a hand. If you like? Great. Lovely.

A beautiful woman drinking alone.

Where?

Never a good thing.

Always leads to trouble.

That's what I'm hoping.

Well, then you can hope on, can't you?

"Beautiful woman?" Is that what you think?

I've seen worse.

Come on, you're beautiful.

Sexy. Good fun.

Well, good, I'm glad someone thinks so.

My door's always open to you, Roxy. Are you that desperate?

Nah, I've just moved out of the B

Got myself a flat.

We could have a private little housewarming.

I thought Phil told you!

Told me what?

He told you to stay away from us. Especially her.

Phil doesn't own me. And neither do you...

We're looking out for you. You weren't home yet...

I'm perfectly capable of looking out for myself. Sitting here,

all cosy, cosy with him dribbling all over you? So what,

the guy fancies me! I'm not going sleep with him, am I?

Some men happen to find me attractive.

Unlike my husband, who left me on my wedding day!

But this one?

No, he's not my taste.

Haroon isn't Kamil's friend.

He is his friend...

but he's not his friend.

He's actually mum's second cousin.

Who...she's been seeing a lot of...

..at the house.

They're thinking of getting engaged.

Sorry.

Bit of peace and quiet, eh?

You'll get used to it.

I know it can be a bit of a crazy house sometimes.

Yeah, that's one word for it.

What's that mean? Nothing.

Have people been talking or something?

No. About what?

Listen, if you've got something to say then you can say it.

I haven't.

Everything all right with you two?

PHONE RINGS

Go on, take it. Just this once.

It's just some boy.

It's nothing.

Is it school?

No, he said it's not about school.

You ain't the only one who finds school hard. Liam hates school.

He's been bullied and everything. Is that why he joined a gang?

What have you heard?

What's it to you? Oi!

He mugs people. Kids. No, he don't. No, I don't.

And he got arrested. Knifed. Come on, everyone makes mistakes.

Is that why you became a prostitute? That's enough!

Who have you been talking to? She wasn't a prostitute.

She used to go with all these guys.

That is none of your business!

They're all, this whole family...

Are you going to let him talk about my kids like that?

You've been to prison yourself for beating someone up. That's enough!

You haven't got a clue what sort of family you've moved us all into?

I do, actually. Because Bianca's told me everything.

"A big sister to look up to," you said to Rosie.

"And a brother, you'll love having a brother."

I think these two are amazing.

Everything they've been through and they've turned out like this.

Yeah. And if you ever want to know about my life -

then you go ahead and you just ask me.

It's no secret round here anyway.

Please don't make me out to be a bad person.

I think you owe her an apology.

In fact, I think you owe them all an apology.

Terry Junior?

Visitor for you.

You better have a receipt.

You know, for them brake pads that you went looking for?

I ain't covering up for you any more. I just want answers, Jay.

You ain't going to find 'em in here, are you?

Listen, don't take this the wrong way...

but a man leaves his things behind...

he's obviously going somewhere he can't take 'em.

I took the blue ones out.

Next time, talk to me first.

Why didn't you tell me you knew?

Cos it's up to them, isn't it?

Bianca knows you eat your toenails,

but she don't blab it round the house.

I've messed everything up, ain't I? You don't make it easy, Tel, no.

Look, I'm still your dad... and you two still come first.

Do we? Well, second to QPR, of course.

Look, it can't be easy for that lot either, can it?

You know, us all turning up. Stinking out the bathroom.

Well, it weren't my choice.

No, it was mine.

And I'm with Bianca now.

And I need you to accept it.

To make an effort.

I love you.

Here you go.

Go on, I've put more brandy in it. Urgh!

Are you even allowed to drink eggnog this early in the month?

Yeah. Don't think you can go opening your presents yet though.

I loved him.

Do you think I'd have let you stop talking to me if you didn't?

I always knew it was Kat and not me, anyway.

Still hurts though, don't it? Yup.

Oi, we're a pair of tragics, aren't we?

We are not tragics. Tragics wear really bad shoes.

And bad shirts.

You and Jack.

I wasn't even there.

It doesn't matter.

Yes, it does. It does, because some bloke had a problem.

No bloke is ever going to come between us ever again, OK? OK.

Rox... What?

Who's this?

It's Pat.

It's Pat. And wait, wait...

Ron, please... No, who's this?

Here, Roxanne.

Aunt Sal! It's Aunt Sal. Put Aunt Sal on the Christmas tree.

Go on.

Oh, Aunt Sal...

Rox. Yeah?

Someone is still waiting for your autograph.

Come on, one little squiggle, then you're free. Come on.

It's only money. It's the least she deserves.

Yeah, I know, but you and me, despite everything,

we're going to have the best Christmas ever.

Yeah, on our backsides in the snow?

OK, here's the deal.

?50 limit and I bet I get a better present than you.

Yeah? Yes.

You're on. OK.

Listen, Kat, I've been thinking, all right...

..about asking Janine... Ask Janine what?

..about buying the Vic. No.

Just hear me out a second.

It just means we can stay here, we run it for her, that's all.

Kat, it's no worse than Phil being the governor, is it?

I'm not being her poodle.

Hello, darling. Hey.

So where's my money, then?

What money?

The juke box. You sold it, right? So where's my money?

It's at home.

Yeah? OK, well, how much did you get for it?

I can't remember.

Cos you didn't sell it, did you?

You sent it back to him. Dexter...

You see, I knew something didn't add up.

Nan's telling me, things ain't always what they seem, Dex.

Oh, really? Well, it's none of her business...

Look, Mum, stop doing that. That's nothing to do with her.

It's you.

You're the one who begged him to stay,

you're the one who begged me to get involved.

I give him a kidney and then you just send my dad away.

Look, Mum, please, if you're really not going to tell me what happened,

just give me his address and I can go and talk to him myself.

Put the boy out of his misery.

Look, Sam is gone, yeah?

And I don't want you seeing him.

You said this wasn't a game.

I know.

And I'm not playing.

Don't mess with my family.

I won't.

But don't mess with me.

I can't do this, Lauren.

I know.

You and me...

I can't...

We can't do this any more.

I know you know. I don't know!

Come on, just tell me what's in the parcel!

I don't know what's in the parcel.

Fish and chips!

He's going to apologise.

No more trouble.

Promise.

Mum.

It's me.

I just think we should give her a bit of space, that's all.

I don't want her doing anything stupid.

It's just the annulment stuff. She'll be OK.

I'll make sure of it.

Oi!

SHE SCREAMS

HORN BEEPS

Ha!

Not what it looks like.

And I ain't seen it anyway.

That's it.

You'll grow up to be Spider-Man, you're eating all your breakfast.

He's been asking for Michael again.

I hope that girl knows what she's done...

All right, Kat?

That heating's been breaking down since I went there!

Yeah, well, you can ring them back if you don't believe me.

You'll have planes landing on that roof.

Yeah, or Martians sending back messages. See ya. See you later.

Are you... Are you going to be out all day?

It's not called OUT. It's called work.

Well, don't just stand there. The people of Walford want their leggings, don't they?

Little Tel!

You take Christmas proper serious!

Yes, this is Operation Rudolph, my good friend. TJ!

You two better both be studying.

You know, they've got some really lovely handmade bracelets on the market.

Don't worry, he's not staying.

Think they'd make a lovely Christmas present for someone. What would?

Right, you two, if you get cold, no adjusting the thermostat, OK?

Put another jumper on. See ya.

You know they hate me even more now? Thanks.

You told them what I said?

Clever(!)

You don't seriously think we're doing any work, do you?

You're up early.

I thought I'd make us all some breakfast.

I've eaten.

So where were you really? You fancy bacon?

Rox, I got up with Amy so Phil wouldn't know.

She was asleep when I left.

And why wasn't your bed touched?

OK, look, I went out for a drink last night.

I couldn't sleep because of the whole form thing

and I bumped into...Tina and we crashed at Billy's. That's it.

So what was her name then? It weren't her name I was after.

You're such a dirty little stop-out.

You got 40 quid? Billy needs it for the electric.

All right, Dex? So what time did you get in at then?

Because you woke me up. You should know what time it was then.

Don't take it out on her. Look, shut up, you. Stay out of my business.

Let's go, Jay.

You've got no idea, have you, what your mother gives up for you?

Well, she don't give up my dad's number, that's for sure.

She turned down a job yesterday. So? I didn't tell her to.

Cos it meant leaving London.

Look, Nan, she could move to the moon, I don't care.

She's still your mother. Show some respect.

Bad hair day?

She's just a kid.

A kid that killed someone.

She's falling apart, Kat. I ain't ever seen her so fragile.

And you want me to go and visit her?

Have you lost it?

Well, she won't see me no more, will she?

After she found out about... she thinks that I'm against her.

I just thought that, you know, maybe a friend could go there...

What? Come on, Kat, you used to be friends, didn't you?

You really can't take the hint, can you?

It's coming up to a year since my dad died.

I'm scared that she's going to do something stupid.

I'm sure they'll keep an eye on her.

If she goes down for this, she could get years.

My mum won't talk to me no more - Alice is all I've got.

Her solicitor reckons she's going to plead guilty to manslaughter.

I want to talk Christmas parties. Thing is, Janine's a bit busy at the moment.

We're going to have a big event Christmas Day - all the families, carols, mulled wine.

How festive.

And I was wondering - as a fellow local prominent businesswoman -

if you might like to sponsor it? Yeah, well, I'll put an appointment in her diary, eh?

I know, I will get all the presents.

A great big giant pile, and put them underneath the tree?

Perfect.

Yeah, well, I'll set up a meeting.

Always a pleasure. Love to help the little children.

Come on, Janine.

Oh. Big night, was it? You saying I look rough?

No, no, just... Where did you go?

I ain't got a clue. It's all a blur.

Did you go with friends?

Don't tell me you've got it on camera.

All right?

Hi.

Um...

Did I leave my phone at yours last night?

I left in a hurry this morning, didn't I?

I thought it was a present.

To make up for all the drinks I bought you.

You not going to work?

Yeah. I'm just going.

Lying to your sister. That is low.

Want to come help me "pay the electric"?

Yeah. Loads of people!

Yeah, course you have.

Well, no, not loads. I'm not like that, but...

Who? I'm not telling you!

Cos you're lying.

Well, Liam for one.

Liam Butcher?!

I know, I was bored. So I slept with Liam.

You did what?

Yeah, that's looking wicked.

And we ain't even started yet!

Are you going to leave that one untied, though?

Oh, mate. Stick your foot there.

Just to go like that.

No offence, Dex, your dad is an idiot.

How do you just get up and vanish, though? Just like that.

And the thing is I don't even know why they broke up.

And you give him a kidney and everything.

Hey. You're special, you know.

What do you mean by "special"?

I just mean the way you're holding it all together.

Just got remember to keep your chin up, yeah?

This you collecting brake pads again, is it?

This is a private conversation.

Not on my time, it ain't. All right, Phil, it's my fault. I'm sorry.

You know, if you're going to cover for someone, make sure it's someone who's worth it, will ya?

Oh, wasted it.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Hello?

My friend over here, she wants to help you hand out mince pies.

Yeah. Love a bit of mulled wine, me.

She's not really the kind of person we're looking for.

She's done catering. She's got silver service.

Yeah. My handbag's full of it. If you want to help with the clear up?

Oh. I think your head's got stuck somewhere it shouldn't be.

Oh, Kat, sweetheart, remember, ?50 limit.

I'm going to the prison. You what?

She's pleading guilty. And I want to know why. Why now?

There you are. You... I'm going to make sure you go to prison for this. Right. Liam.

She is 15! She's too young to give her consent!

Hang on, we don't even know if he's done anything yet!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's just take it down a notch, eh?

Have you been sleeping with Cindy?

No!

Well, there's your answer.

Are you calling me a liar? No, I'm calling you a liar, Ian. What are you going to do about it?

How do you know this? She was telling your son!

I don't know why you're making such a big thing about it.

Because you're 15!

Tell them!

Fine. I... I made it up.

Why would you do that?!

Because she fancies him. I so don't.

Right. So, you going to apologise?

Home. You can't just come in here... Now!

You all right?

Now some of us have got work to do.

I swear that wasn't me.

Come on, then, give us a hand.

Shirley, you don't always have to say yes to her, you know.

Next time just send her home.

Whatever you say. Your sister - she told me

Roxy stayed with you lot at Billy's last night.

She was with him, wasn't she? She was with Carl.

Sometimes you are worse than your mother! I never asked you to go round there!

You told me you'd slept with Liam! Ian!

DOOR SHUTS

Just seen Bianca.

Yeah. Bet she's loving it, ain't she?

I think you should go.

I'll be in the pub.

It's never easy, is it? Growing up.

You know, if you...did... with Liam,

you can always talk to me, you know.

Thanks. But I didn't. I lied.

He's 21! Follow your own dreams for once.

Like you did?

That's low.

I can't abandon my kid. Real parenting doesn't work like that.

He ain't a kid any more.

Tell him the truth and take the job.

I can't.

So you're going to put your own life on hold?

And wrap him in cotton wool? You've spent years working towards this.

Take the job.

Yeah, sorry about that. Half past five, I told him.

And it'll be done at half past five. Yeah, looks like it an' all.

If I say it's going to be done, it'll be done. Phil, he's been going through a bit of a hard time...

Yeah, yeah, really hard time. All over Lola earlier, weren't you?

You're a funny man, Phil. I don't want you anywhere near her.

I'll go wherever I want. What you going to do? You need to get a grip. Just cos Daddy left you.

Poor little Dexter... Don't talk about my dad like that. All I hear about is your dad. Dad, Dad, Dad.

Well done. You all right, mate?

You all right?

Nice one. Well, go on, you're sacked. Go on, you're fired. Yeah well, I quit, innit?

You still owe me nine grand. What are you going to do, Phil? Sue me.

If you had to do one, would you...? Sleep with a gorilla?

It's my turn! And no!

Or a chimpanzee?

Well, I slept with Alfie, didn't I? But no, I wouldn't!

Not even if he promised not to tell his mates? No.

Whooo!

And that's about as much as you are ever going to get!

What is the matter with you, put them away!

Just cos mine don't drag on the floor.

Get your backside home.

I'm having fun. That money was for Billy's electric!

Rox, it's not even four o'clock!

What is this - boring big sister day or something?

What is Amy supposed to do, just walk herself back from nursery?

Come on, come home.

Get off.

I reckon, slip her a few more drinks...

DOOR OPENS, KEYS JANGLE

It'll be great. You know, you, me, Kat, Scarlett Tommy, all running round together.

Last time I tried to get this place I ended up

out in the snow on my own.

Yeah, I know, I know, but this would be different. We do all the hard work. You take the money.

That's because I would have spent all the money.

Kat's having a bit of a, you know, a tough time.

What with Christmas coming up. And, you know, of course, Michael.

Using my own husband's death to try and persuade me

to dig you out of a hole?

That's cheap, Alfie.

I know, I know, I know. Just think about it, yeah?

I'm not stupid, you know.

I didn't say you were stupid.

I know, Roxy. I know.

Who told you?

He is bad news.

It doesn't concern you.

Of course it concerns me, you're my sister. No, it doesn't.

What do you think Phil is going to say? He's not going to say anything cos he's not going to know.

What are you doing?

What are you doing, just throwing yourself at a guy like that for?

I'm not throwing myself at anyone!

You - you are NOT seeing him again.

I can do what I want!

This is us.

No, it is not! This is me.

This is me.

It's not like it used to be, all right?

I am not a kid. You can't just tell me what to do.

Stop behaving like a kid, then, you little brat.

You weren't here, Ronnie. I am my own woman.

And you need to get used to it.

He didn't love you. Was that it?

He said we were for ever.

Me, him and Scarlett could be a family.

And you believed him?

I love him and he loved me.

Michael didn't love anyone. He didn't know how to.

He loved Scarlett.

I thought you was jealous of Janine, but you wasn't.

You was jealous of a baby. No!

You couldn't bear the thought of him wanting her and not you.

No. He wanted me to take Scarlett from Janine.

And then I realised he wanted me to murder Janine.

And I couldn't.

Right. Michael wanted you to kill Janine.

He'd look at me and say things - and I'd believe him.

And that's why you killed him?

He was trying to get rid of Janine and you thought he'd pin it on you?

I don't know, Kat. I don't know.

You're not playing me, Alice. Not like you're playing Joey.

No. That ain't love. You don't know what love is.

Yes, I do.

You couldn't stand the fact he didn't want you.

So you took a knife.

You took a knife and you stabbed him.

You walked out and left him to die.

Can I have a look at that one?

And they're handmade? All handmade, yeah.

It's for a Christmas present. A lovely present.

Sorry, I've only got fifties.

I don't know! You were there!

He was going for Janine.

He was strangling her and I thought I was defending her.

But I didn't want him to die.

So you do remember?

No. Janine does.

In my head - it's such a mess.

She came here and she told me what happened.

I stabbed him. I killed him. She told you that?

She...she said that I did it. But I don't know.

I had the knife - you said it.

You said it just now.

I stabbed him and then - and then I left him.

I walked out and left him to die.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, Kat.

DOOR SHUTS

That roof's looking proper mad! Is that my...?

No!

Are you all right now? You know, after...? Listen.

If you do ever - you know, decide to do anything in that area.

Well, first of all, you know, just pop a little something on it, yeah?

And then secondly - make sure she's over 16.

All right, Mum. Do you mind?

DOOR SHUTS Right. You can come outside now. No. Final parcel?

Ah. final parcel! Give me five minutes, all right?

Five.

Sorry.

I tell you, I've had it with him. You don't mean that.

Don't I? No, he's just angry. And upset.

You think I don't know that?

And he's just hitting out at anyone that he knows can take it.

Yeah, well, maybe I've had enough of taking it.

Right now - despite what he's said or done - he just needs a friend.

You want some wings?

Right, you ready for this? You have lost it.

Go on, Tel. Put the first ones. There we go.

And the next ones!

CHEERING

And again, Tel.

And again.

I hope you're going to pay for the electric. Where's my parcel?

Stop being impatient.

And here we go, then. Here's the big finale.

ALL LAUGH

He's ginger! You made Father Christmas ginger!

Not interrupting, am I?

You know what? I dunno what I'd do, either, if my pops just got up and left.

I mean, I searched for my family my whole life

and I never had a dad but a grandad. Same thing.

Yeah, I know.

But I can't imagine what it would be like if he just got up

and left me now, like your dad...

Dex, I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to say that I get it, all right?

You're going to be all right. Trust me.

Dexter, what are you doing?! I thought we were...

Dexter, I don't fancy you. I'm with...

You're with who?

I'm with Peter.

You're with Peter? Yes. Peter!

Lola, don't you understand - you're the only one here. You're the only who understands me.

Well, you obviously don't understand me, do you? But I do.

Lola, listen, I really, really like you. Dexter, that's sweet, all right?

But I see you more like a brother and that's it. I don't fancy you.

Dex, I didn't mean it like that,

I just meant... It's all right, I see. Dexter! Dex!

You all right, sweetheart. Janine's in, in principle!

I said I'd see if the numbers add up.

That's very generous of you.

You try and spread a bit of Christmas cheer.

Well, if you don't want Janine to take a look... No, course we do. We'll see you tomorrow, yeah?

Put a spring in it, Billy.

See you later, mate. See ya.

She's not interested in buying this place for us.

Come on, are you doubting the Moon magic, are you? I don't trust her.

Stay away from Roxy.

I don't see Roxy anywhere, do you?

You really don't want to push me.

I hope that's not a threat.

Well, you can hope what you like.

Go and ask Shirley what happens to people when they threaten me.

Don't go near my sister. Don't call her. Don't speak to her.

Don't even look at her.

You've got delusions of grandeur, do you know that?

Who do you think you are? Phil Mitchell in a pair of high heels?

Back off.

TJ's told me a few things. And I think it's best if the kids come and live with me.

What you going to do, stick them in the overhead locker? I've got a cab waiting.

Nikki, there's nothing wrong with my family. I never said there was anything wrong with it,

I just think the kids need a bit of stability.

What's that - you jetting off week after week?

I'm going to see if they'll put me on check-in, let me stay in London, at least for a few months.

You won't last five minutes.

Why don't we ask the kids?

Go on, darling.

Tell them what you told me.

I didn't mean it, did I?

You said on the phone that...

I've never had any brothers.

And I was thinking that I might teach Morgan guitar

if he wants. I shouldn't have told you.

She's your mum. And it's all right.

And I'm sure Morgan would love that.

I'm glad you came, anyway, because I was going to call you.

I'm surprised you remember my number. The kids are having Christmas here this year.

We're going to be all together. Just one happy family.

Shall we all go look at the lights? Yeah, come on, sunshine.

I'll see you next year, then.

I'll see you at Christmas.

What's this? What's this?

DOOR SHUTS

Go and get it.

Good boy. Good boy.

You all right?

What do you mean, am I all right? Why shouldn't I be? Look, all right, we get it.

How hard this must be for you... Abs, just shut up, yeah?

Sort out your own perfect little relationship before you start giving me advice.

Come on, Abs. What do you mean? He cheated on you!

Right, is that meant to be funny?

You're sick, man. Do you remember that holiday we went on.

That girl Kitty.

Yeah, that's right. He did.

He cheated on you.

So?

She's a mess, ain't she?

Yeah.

I keep thinking, what if it's like Jean? No-one believing her.