12/09/2014 EastEnders Omnibus

Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you. No news on Jay?

Well, the police can't have questioned him all night!

I need to get back down the station and find out.

Then at least let me make you some breakfast, Phil. Huh?

You're no use to anyone in this state

and if you've got Ritchie on it, she'll be banging heads together as we speak.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Mr Mitchell? I'm DS Bryant.

Sorry to disturb you. We just need to have a quick look around, if that's all right.

-You can't just barge in.

-Jay's been arrested for a robbery.

We have the power to search his home address. Can we come in, please?

Thank you.

I just can't live like this any more!

All right, Spartacus, who rattled your cage?

I get up for a day's graft. All I want is a nice little drop of rosy.

I cannot get by without it.

Not the only thing you can't get by without.

How long's Linda been gone now?

Look, he just wants a nice cuppa tea and a cuddle with Mum.

Get to my age, and it's a relief not to have to rise to the occasion.

Do we have to talk about this over breakfast?

Know what I miss most? Some decent, intelligent conversation round here!

The closest you and Mum have ever come to a debate is whether to watch Pointless or not.

No, look, Grandma'll be better soon and Mum'll be back.

In the meantime, no good crying over spilt milk.

There ain't no milk to spill, is there!

I don't understand!

I've been texting all night, I've left messages with everyone. And still nothing.

He's probably having a lie-in, if he was talking to the cops all night.

Then why wouldn't he have called me?

I don't even know why the police wanted to talk to him in the first place.

Do you reckon it is to do with the whole Lucy thing?

Jay wouldn't know anything about that!

Look, I'm going to go see the police and find out what's going on.

-They ain't going to tell you anything, are they?

-Dad, I can't just stand here.

I'm not going to do nothing. I'll go see Lola.

Is everything all right?

Uh, nah, it's fine. Just stressing about Jay.

Sorry if it's a bad time.

-I was going to get a coffee before work. I didn't know if you wanted one.

-Yeah, be lovely.

-Work?

-Oh, yeah, I forgot to say,

Stacey's starting at the car lot this morning.

Bit keen, ain't you?

Wanted to make a good impression on my first day.

-I heard the boss is a bit of a nightmare.

-He is a nightmare.

-So I'll have a coffee and a bacon sandwich.

-Right. I'll see you over there.

-See you over there.

What? Lauren, I need someone over at the car lot,

especially since David's gone.

And of all the people out there, you choose Stacey?

-No, I'm just helping out a mate, that's all I'm doing.

-You'd better be.

-Yeah.

Lauren, the last thing I want to do is upset you and Abi.

Especially now it looks like Jay's got himself in a bit of trouble.

-You said it'd be all right.

-Yeah, well, I didn't want to upset Abi,

but he ain't been there all night having a friendly chat, has he? See you later.

Oi, oi! Get your hands off them - they're mine.

Sorry about that, Mr Mitchell. Right. Think that's us done down here.

We'll go up and have a look in Jay's room.

You're wasting your time! Whatever you think Jay's done, you're wrong.

It's about time you got here! Now, what's this about a robbery?

They've got a witness,

says his off-licence was turned over by two teenagers in April.

He's ID'd one of them as Jay.

That's it? No evidence, no forensics?

Just some loser who reckons it was Jay?

Don't make sense. Why would they send in the heavy mob, you know?

Just for an alleged robbery that happened months ago?

There might be a bit more to it.

This robbery happened up near Walford Common,

the night Lucy Beale died.

When did all this happen?

Well, we've been working it through for a while, ain't we?

Then I wooed her with a promise of the high life and she gave in.

I don't want to leave you in the lurch or nothing,

but this year's just made me realise, you got to take your chances where you can.

I think it's great you're giving it another go.

Just don't know what I'm going to do without you.

Who's going to give me grief every day?

Get me in trouble with Aleks? Kick off with Donna?

You can do that yourself.

But I will need half the money for the stock,

but if you're stuck, I can wait a few weeks, it's all right.

So, looks like you're definitely off then.

Ain't even handed in my notice.

I haven't even told Lee.

He's not going to be happy about me moving miles away, is he?

Does Bianca know you're worried?

I tried to tell her,

but she's so excited about it being a fresh start for all of us.

You know, she just doesn't listen to me, Sonia.

It's your life, Whit. Up to you what you want. All right?

They ain't serious?

They actually think that Jay turns over a shop,

and then attacked Lucy on the way home?!

-They haven't said that in so many words...

-So why do you think they do?

For a start, the DS on the murder case is up there searching Jay's room right now.

-And I heard the witness came forward after seeing an image in the appeal.

-What image?

The bus CCTV footage of a man in a beanie hat,

the only passenger not to come forward yet.

We've all seen that. That could be anyone.

The shopkeeper says he was wearing the same clothes as one of the boys.

-Gave a description which they matched to Jay.

-What about the other boy?

White, teenager, average height, short dark hair.

Glasses.

They ID'd him yet?

Not yet.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Yeah, well, they won't! Just some fantasy in some moron's head!

Got nothing to do with Jay.

Thanks very much for your cooperation. That's us just about finished up.

I take it you didn't find anything?

Just because you haven't found someone for Lucy's murder, don't think you can pin this on Jay!

We haven't said anything about murder. Yet.

Need to find out where Jay was that night.

You get down the nick, find out who this witness is.

And I'll talk to Jay's mates. All right?

-I'll come with you, Phil...

-Uh, no, we're supposed to be trying on wedding dresses today.

-We can't now, Roxy! We'll have to cancel.

-Nah, nothing's going to get in the way of this wedding.

-It's really not that important.

-You just carry on what you're doing, I'll sort this out. All right?

-She's finally found the chance to be happy, Alfie.

-Lovely.

-And the rest of us mugs have got to pay for it!

-At least the stall will be ours.

-I thought that's what you always wanted?

-Yes, but, Kat, we don't have the cash, all right?!

You just got a loan.

-Can't you ask for a couple of extra ton to go on that?

-Great idea,

and while I'm there I'll ask for a new villa in Marbella, shall I?

The old Moon magic worked last time, so it's worth a go.

Alfie, this could be the start of a whole new future for us.

OK...

all right...

Johnny's gone up West, or something.

Well, tell the boys I popped in.

Course.

I'm so happy to see that beautiful face.

Are you back for good this time, or...?

No, I promised Roxy I'd help with Sharon's dress.

Thought I'd stop by and see how you all were.

-He won't shut up about how much he's pining over you, Mum.

-Yeah.

Baby, why don't you go and see if that delivery's here, eh?

So, you got any idea how long until your mum's going to be back on her feet

and you come back home, or...?

Few more days. I can't rush her, Mick.

No...

Maybe we could, like, just, make the most of our time alone now.

I miss you.

I know, Mick, but I can't turn up to a dress fitting all hot and sweaty.

Could have a shower or something.

I'm sorry. I ain't got time right now.

We sell a lot of those, what with my Les being in the funeral trade.

You get a discount on flowers if you buy a full package from him.

There's an offer worth dying for.

I'm helping out at the Vic with Linda being away,

-so I might be back for 'em later.

-Don't leave it too late - they go quick.

Ain't surprised round here.

I've been trying to get hold of you all morning. Where's Jay?

He's still banged up.

-The old Bill seem to think he's been involved in some robbery.

-What?

-What?

It's just a mix-up, but I need to know where he was Good Friday, yeah?

Why? What's that got to do with anything?

Well, that's when this supposed robbery was.

The night Lucy was killed?

Well, he was with me at Roxy's early on, but I think he went off somewhere.

Did he go back to yours?

Did he tell you where he went?

It was a long time ago, I can't remember.

-Try, Abi, yeah!

-Phil, we don't know, all right?

Look, he can say he was with me if it helps with the cops.

You can't lie, Lola, it'll only make things worse.

Well, listen, if you remember anything, just let me know. Yeah?

Yeah.

Abi.

I'll...catch you up.

Listen... did Jay say anything about Ben?

No...why? Do they think he's caught up in all this?

I just need to know if he's seen him. That's all.

I don't think so. He would've told me if he had.

All right. It's my mistake. Forget it, yeah.

All right, Abi?

Did Phil say anything about why the police picked Jay up?

Well, they think he's been involved in some sort of robbery,

but Jay would never do that, even if Ben was involved.

What's Ben got to do with it?

How can he be involved? He's still inside.

Isn't he?

All right?

Oi, oi.

I thought you was busy today. Just can't get enough of me, eh?

Actually, I need to talk to you.

Ooh, not "the talk".

You know how much I really like you,

and I think things are going really well for us...

Why do I get the feeling there's a "but"?

I'm moving to Milton Keynes.

Bianca's decided to give it another go with Terry

and thinks it'll be a new start for all of us.

Well... I guess that's it then, innit?

We had fun while it lasted,

but I suppose people move on, eh?

So you don't mind me going, then?

You've made your decision. Not much I can do about that, is there?

If that's how you feel, I guess that's it.

Oh, you are going to die when you see some of the dresses I've got for you.

They might be a bit over the top.

You can't just wear any frumpy old thing on your wedding day, can you?

They're just samples, just to give you an idea. OK.

Look, Roxy, I'm really grateful for all you're doing,

but I really don't think I'm up to it today.

Look, Sharon, I know you're worried about Jay,

but if you don't choose a dress soon, you're not going to get married at all.

I've got wine, there's wine in there... Linda's coming...

Look I'll explain, you know, she'll understand.

KNOCK ON DOOR

All right, look, Sharon.

I'll give you a bit of space and maybe you'll let me know when you're ready.

Preferably before the wedding would be good.

Thanks.

Do me a favour - have a word with Bridezilla, would you?

-Hey.

-Oh, hello. Everything OK? Roxy said you needed help choosing a dress.

Yep. The fake dress for the fake wedding?

Linda, I'm so glad you're back. Please tell me you're home for good.

Not exactly. Things with me and Mick are still messed up an' all.

Well, there's only one thing for it.

Ooh...

Why didn't you tell me about Ben?

All those times I've been honest with you,

and you didn't once think I'd want to know that he was out!

-Because I knew you'd go off at the deep end.

-Can you blame me?

He's only been out a couple of months and he's already got Jay banged up again.

This has got nothing to do with him.

I ain't seen him and Jay would've told me if he had.

Well, he wouldn't if they've been out thieving!

Look, Phil, I know he's still your boy, but you know what he's capable of.

Nah, nah, nah, you're way off the mark, Shirl!

-It's got nothing to do with Jay or with Ben.

-You're fooling yourself.

Oh, and you'd know all about that, wouldn't you, eh?

Now why don't you go and sort your own family out,

and stay away from mine, yeah?

This one looks lovely on the peg but it might be a bit busty on.

Well, it don't matter, seeing as I won't be wearing it.

But it still has to look like a dress you'd choose.

Would it help if I modelled it for you?

Whatever.

You know, this whole thing is getting more ridiculous by the day.

Roxy sent out wedding invitations last week,

she's pressurising me into having a hen do,

and now I'm going to be buying a dress I'm never going to wear.

So when are you going to put an end to it?

I don't know. Things have changed.

I thought the whole point of this was to make Phil pay.

Yeah, it was....

I don't know how you've stayed sane all this time.

I can't stand being round Mick after just one row.

It's not the same, Linda, you'll sort it out.

You look gorgeous.

I thought I just needed some space from Mick,

and after a few days at my mum's with her rabbiting on, I'd be desperate to get back home.

But seeing him again just now brought it all back.

-Look, I know he humiliated you, Linda, but...

-It's more than that.

You know, he didn't even think about what this would do to me, to us.

For the first time, I started to imagine what life would be like without him.

Hey. It won't come to that. You've got the strongest marriage I know.

No, we ain't.

This is the first time I've worn a wedding dress in my life.

We're not even married.

'Bout as lively as a funeral parlour in here. Someone died?

Nah. Only Lee's chances of ever getting a date again.

Thought you were seeing that lovely girl, paints herself up like a china doll.

Yeah, she's moving to Milton Keynes.

-That's how much she wanted to get away from him.

-Oi! Her family made her move.

And you're just letting her go?

Can't force her to stay, can you, if she don't want to.

In my day, if you liked a girl enough,

you did whatever it takes to keep hold of her.

You'd get arrested for that now, it's called stalking.

Or fighting for the woman you love.

If it matters enough, you'll do what you have to.

Nance, do you fancy looking after your nan for a couple of days,

give your mum a break?

Erm, OK...

Yep.

Good girl.

Elaine, sweetheart?

Erm...

Nancy was saying how much she'd like to come over and see you,

just thought I'd drop her off, you know, give Linda a break

while you're off your trotters...

Really?

No, no. Linda didn't say.

Silly thing proposed when we were kids, so we had a pretend ceremony.

We always meant to get round to tying the knot properly one day, but somehow we just never did.

I thought you'd been married for years.

Most people do, even the kids.

Still, hardly a dirty secret, is it?

I'd be mortified if it came out.

Listen, I've been married twice, almost married four times more

and yet here I am, in the biggest mess of my life.

You know, love counts for more than any ring on your finger, Linda!

It ain't just about love, it's about trust.

You know that better than anyone.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and never have heard Phil admit the truth.

But whether you knew it or not, he'd still have had you attacked.

But he didn't mean to - it was an accident.

He put you on life support, Sharon!

You had to sleep with a gun under your pillow for weeks.

-Surely you ain't having second thoughts?

-Too late, even if I was.

KNOCK ON DOOR MICK: L...

Mick, I can't talk now.

What you doing here?

I think we've run out of wine.

I spoke to your mum.

Said she's been off her crutches for a week.

So maybe it's time you stopped avoiding me, and we actually spoke about this.

HORN BEEPS

All right, son? Did you hear our news?

Yeah, just seems like it's a good move for us, really.

Yeah. You're sorted. Happy to leave us in a mess.

What?

Kat's run ragged, OK, and now I've got to find more cash to try

-and buy the stall off Bianca, and that's thanks to you, Terry.

-Kat said you had some loan or something.

Yeah, the bank love throwing cash at unemployed losers with three kids and a habit of screwing up.

There is no loan, Terry.

I know this must be a bit weird for you, but, well, me and your dad, we are just mates.

I've messed up so many times, I just want a chance to start again.

-You know what that's like.

-Yeah, I do.

Well, hopefully we can be mates too.

Have you still got that key that I gave you?

Uh... yeah, should be about somewhere.

You haven't lost it, have you?

What was it for, anyway?

Oh, it's just a load of stuff in storage.

It probably means nothing to anyone else, but it does to me

so I'd appreciate it if you could find it.

Ritchie, it's me. Call me soon as you hear anything, will ya?

Thought you was meant to trying on dresses.

Well, turns out it's thirsty work.

-Has Ritchie got back to you about Jay?

-No.

I'm still waiting for the name of the supposed witness.

And what're you going to do when you find out? Hmm?

Cos it ain't going to help Jay if you go steaming in and get yourself arrested too!

I've got to do something, Sharon. Haven't I, eh?

But when you go in all guns blazing, people get hurt.

That's not what I want to happen, is it?

Well, things don't always turn out as you plan, do they, Phil?

OK. I might get things wrong sometimes,

but only when I'm trying to protect my family.

Look, I know you're worried about Jay.

It's not just Jay, though, is it?

Weren't you listening?

They said there was two boys, and one of 'em...one of 'em had glasses.

Ben?

You don't think he was involved or anything...

I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt Lucy but...

if they do link Jay to this robbery, they'll start asking questions about the other boy

and it's only a matter of time before they find out, ain't it?

It'll be all right, you'll think of something.

We'll get through it.

Look, let me deal with Linda and then we can have a chat, yeah?

Right. Well, I need to sort out this first.

I'll meet you later in the Vic, yeah.

-Sure you're not going to do nothing stupid?

-Trust me.

I've said sorry over and over again...

"Sorry" don't change what happened.

-I don't know how to make this right.

-Well, you think I do?!

You were the one person I thought I could rely on,

but you let me down...

and I want to get past that, but I can't.

Well, sooner or later you're going to have to make a decision.

Unless you're planning on marrying someone else?

I'm going to be straight with you - it's killing me,

all right, seeing you like that...

I never thought the first time I see you in a wedding dress would be when you're leaving me.

-I ain't leaving you.

-Well, then, come home.

I'm not sure if I can yet.

Then I tell you what, I've said all I've got to say.

So let me know when you've made your decision.

Think I'm being an idiot, don't you?

Well, either you forgive him, or you leave him for good.

It's your choice, but I know what I'd do.

I was just about to call you.

I've finally got an address for that witness from my contact.

Well, why don't you go pay them a visit?

-I've got to have a word about Jay's alibi.

-So you found out where he was that night?

Yeah. Yeah, he was with me.

I was down to my last bunch, so I thought I'd bring them over...

-You shouldn't have.

-Taken to buying yourself flowers now, Babe?

I may have looked at a bunch of carnations in passing,

but I never asked you to bring anything here,

I was just trying to be helpful.

In future, don't bother.

You all right, Pop? Still not sorted it with Mum?

She ain't left me!

I thought you were meant to be fighting for her.

Yeah, well, only so much you can do, ain't there?

Good thing about this site is 99% of all loan applicants are successful.

-There you go. I'm the 1%.

-But look, there are other companies we can try.

-Come on, come on.

-No, Terry, they're all the same.

What's this?

You trying to talk him into going to Milton Keynes an' all?

We couldn't even afford the train tickets, darling.

Maybe not now but if we use some of the loan to expand the business, you never know.

Yeah, I do know. We ain't going anywhere.

I'll leave you to it. I'll see you later, mate.

What's wrong? You couldn't get an extension on the loan?

Bianca is expecting that money, Alfie!

All right. We'll just have to dip into the money for the move.

There is no money to dip into, Kat.

The bank turned us down last week, and I didn't want to worry you

cos I thought I'd be able to get the money from elsewhere...

We're broke.

Thought you was going back to your mum's?

I, um...

I almost left...

..then Sharon asked me what I wanted

and I realised what I want more than anything is for us to get back to being a happy family.

Do you think we can ever get that back?

Together, me and you can do anything.

I'm sorry, Mick, I shouldn't have run away.

I shouldn't have put you in a position where you had to.

I'll never, ever do anything to risk losing you again.

And, you know, we can start from scratch, you know,

we like...we can take things slowly as you like.

Really? You want to take things slowly?

All I care about is having you back, so just...

So you ain't going to try and get me straight into bed?

Or in the shower again?

Never.

And if I show you this that I borrowed from the wedding lingerie,

you ain't going to rip it off?

Oh, that's just... like proper punishment now.

That's just...

Oh, I think you've probably suffered enough.

Really?

-I'll come home, on one condition.

-What?

To hell with slow.

Oh. Thought you'd moved on?

Yeah. I'm sorry it came out like that, I ain't good at this sort of thing.

So I figured if I couldn't tell you how I felt, then I'd show you instead.

Where've you been?

The police have had me all night and I thought they might've...

Well, listen, just give me a ring as soon as you can.

I thought you were banged up.

Nah, it was all a mix-up...

police let me off with no charge at all.

Do they know about Ben?

Is that who you were on the phone to?

Trying to warn him that they're nearly on to him.

Course not!

Well, then you won't mind me telling Phil about your sneaky phone calls?

I know you're up to something, Jay, so you'd better start talking.

-I've walked out of an urgent meeting for this.

-Sorry, it couldn't wait.

Is it Phil? He's worked out the money's missing?

He's never going to. We're putting it all back.

You're the one who came to me,

told me you wanted to hit Phil where it hurt.

Yeah, I know, but I've reconsidered.

I'm sorry, but I've put everything on the line for this.

It's too late to bottle out now!

Right. Well, I'll just have to tell Phil what you've done.

I mean, I can't imagine he'll be too happy that you've been stealing his cash.

Oh, no, this is on you, not me!

And who do you think he'll believe?

I'll see to it that you're not out of pocket,

but that money has to go in without him noticing.

It's your choice, but if you think that'll be it

and you'll live happily ever after, then you don't know Phil like I do.

Oh, I know him better than anyone.

I'm about to marry him.

This ends now. Phil never needs to find out.

I need to see you.

At your office.

Now.

So, you not going to open it, then?

They're beautiful.

-What are you doing?

-Sh.

Give them some space.

Look, Whit...

the thing is, I...

HE SIGHS

Ain't like you to be lost for words.

I've never said this sort of thing to anyone before.

I know I sound like a prat, but...

I can't stop thinking about you.

I think I love you.

Thanks.

-Yeah.

-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

You take care of yourself, Whit.

When did Ben get in touch?

All right. I'll try again.

How long have you been sneaking around behind Phil's back?

It wasn't like that. Ben phoned me when he got out.

And he made me promise not to tell Phil.

Well, you know what Ben's like. He needed help.

He was desperate. I could hardly say no.

My heart bleeds.

Shirl, he's on his own.

Where's he living?

Hostels.

And the robbery on that shop - whose bright idea was that?

Ben told me to meet him there.

Then he started getting aggy with this bloke.

I tried to stop him, but he nicked the money

and, before I knew it, we were doing one across Walford Common.

Jay, if the police are on to you,

it won't be long before they're sniffing round after Ben.

They ain't got nothing on me.

Not yet. But you've got a bigger problem.

Phil is going to find out sooner or later.

I'll handle it.

Kat...

-You lied to me.

-I was trying to protect you.

-I ain't a kid!

-Hold on, whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going?

I'm going to the stall...

unless you want to tell Bianca that we can't afford to buy her out?

I didn't think so.

Kat...

I was so ashamed, all right?

What kind of man can't provide for his own family?

Then you should've talked to me.

We could've fixed this together.

I know, I know, but it's not that simple.

We're going to be evicted. It doesn't get worse than that!

Really? This is what we've got.

Every penny we have left in the whole world.

Want to know how much that is? 16 quid.

That's got to last us till the end of the week.

Jay!

Oh, it IS you!

What, is that it? Have the police let you go?

For now. Keep your voice down. I don't want the world to know.

Yeah, sorry. We were just really worried.

We?

Well, Phil and them lot.

Jay!

When did you get out?

Just now.

I've been so worried about you!

I'll, um, see you.

Phil's been climbing the walls, Jay. He asked me if you'd heard from Ben.

I told him there was no way.

I mean, you would have told me. Right?

Yeah. Course I would've.

Yeah? Yeah.

I've missed this.

Mmm.

Just this?

No.

Tell me more.

Well, I've missed this little manor...

And I've missed...this.

SHE GIGGLES

And I've...proper missed this.

You're letting the cold in!

Not having you here... It was just...

This is where you belong, L.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

PHONE VIBRATES

It's Johnny.

He forgot his wallet. Wants me to go and pick him up.

Students - who'd have 'em, eh?

How long have we got?

I reckon we've got about...

-three-and-a-half minutes?

-A personal best?

There's life in the old dog yet.

You'd better not be talking about me!

Sooner she forgets about him, the better.

Young love.

He's seen more action in Walford than he did in Afghanistan.

Give him five minutes, he'll be on to the next one.

And when I told you that, at Whitney's age,

you didn't listen either.

Look at you now, though.

Things have a way of working themselves out, don't they?

DOOR CLOSES

What's the matter?

Nothing. We was just talking about Milton Keynes.

Here, listen, Terry has told me they've got a brilliant

football team - they play in a big park somewhere near the house.

He said they're not bad either, you know.

Great.

Whit, I thought he was going to propose then. Did you?

I mean, what would you have said if he did?

-Bianca!

-I'm just asking her.

If you must know,

he said he loves me.

What are you doing up here?

Finished for the day.

It's a funny thing. I never really liked lilies.

I suppose cos they were Sylvie's favourite.

All right, have it your way. Just don't go making any trouble.

That's rich. Trouble's YOUR speciality.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

You think anyone gives a monkey's what you have to say?

It's your birthday tomorrow, isn't it?

Not heard anything about a party - what's that tell you?

You know me, I'm not one to make a fuss.

That's fortunate.

Cos from where I'm standing, you haven't got anything to celebrate.

I'll find out what you're up to, you know.

And you'll be sorry.

Go boil your head.

-Oh, hello, Aunt Babe.

-Hello, love.

-What's up with you?

-Linda's back.

Ah! That explains the racket you've been making next door.

Well, you know how the tune goes.

# Love is in the air Shoo-oby, shoo-boo

# Love is in the air... #

Ain't you got some split ends to fix or something, mate?

Even the split ends have split ends round here.

Tough day at work.

Linda.

It's nice to have you back.

Place wasn't the same without you.

Pint of lager.

So, I take it you sorted things out?

Me and Mick had a really good talk.

Hmm? Is that what they're calling it nowadays?

Right, then, what are we having?

I can't. I've not been back five minutes.

Surely there's time for one quick drink.

I think I've had enough today.

After the last few weeks, we deserve a bit of fun, don't we?

Come on, Phil'll be here in a minute.

-There's always time for a quickie.

-THEY GIGGLE

Go on, then.

Pam, I owe you big time. Thanks, sweetheart.

I've changed my mind - I'll have those lilies after all.

There they are.

I'm sorry if I ruined the surprise earlier.

Ah, lilies! The undertaker's staple.

I was trying to be friendly. I said I was sorry...

I know you did, Birdie. What's her loss is the world's gain.

Oh, Les.

Sweetheart...

Don't.

Kat, listen, I'm sorry. I hold my hands up, all right?

I'd get a white flag if I could, but Pam only does flowers.

-Have you spoke to Bianca yet?

-Not yet.

Well, don't bother, cos things are starting to look up. All right?

That flower's probably cost us half of what we had left.

I'm going to search for more loan companies.

There's millions of 'em. You've seen the adverts.

Then I'll go back to the Jobcentre.

I might even wear a tie this time.

This ain't all on you, you know.

I just want you to be honest with me.

Kat, it won't happen again.

Make sure it don't.

I promise.

I just want the man I fell in love with back again.

-Yeah?

-I ain't seen him round here lately.

Come here, you.

I'm on my way.

Just ran into an old friend.

So if you're putting the money back now,

what does that mean for you and Phil?

It means I've forgiven him, Linda.

Look, deep down, I know how I feel about him.

-That man's my future.

-But what if he finds out?

-He won't.

-But what if he does?

-Look...

It's not going to happen overnight,

but as far as I'm concerned, that's the end of it.

I just want to look to the future now, you know.

No, I'm happy for you.

No, honestly.

Well, it might not look much on paper -

well, compared to the likes of you and Mick.

So you've made a few mistakes. Who hasn't?

You can say that again.

Look at us - like a pair of camels!

Same again?

Well, Phil's running a bit late, so...

Why not? You only live once.

Thank you.

Thank you for being a mate, when heaven knows I've needed one.

Ditto.

-Bottoms up.

-LINDA LAUGHS

Phil! PHIL!

I just want to say, no matter what, I'm here for you, Sharon.

Thank you, Linda.

And when it all - no, if, IF it all goes sour, you know where to find me.

Well, I'm not sure marriage advice is really your forte,

but I appreciate it all the same, babe.

Is it me, or are these getting smaller?

-Can I get another bottle, love?

-Yeah.

Oh, my little sausage!

Mum, Mum, please don't!

Stop it!

So, er, how'd it go with Whitney?

Don't ask.

"Mummy's precious little sausage!"

It's called charm. Look it up in a dictionary.

Pace yourself.

Just what the doctor ordered?

What's wrong, Linda?

Oh, it's just Dean. He gets on my nerves.

Well, he's cute, but there's something not quite right there.

You don't know the half of it.

Do you want to talk about it?

Look, it's been a long day.

How about we go to the Vic?

Come on, orange juice on me.

All right, then, we can go to the Albert.

Yeah, I know me and Sharon ain't exactly best mates, but...

I don't mind.

I've just been to my accountant.

Sharon has been stealing from the Albert.

Right from under my nose.

Don't let Dean get you down.

You should be happy! Look at your Mick.

Looks like the cat who got the cream.

I just want things to get back to the way they were.

Yeah, well, they will!

You know, I'd kill for what you and Mick have got.

Complete honesty. You tell each other everything.

Don't you?

Linda, what is it?

-He kissed me.

-Who?

Who do you think?

I nearly knocked his block off an' all.

Why wouldn't she twig that you'd find out? You're partners.

Not any more, we ain't.

-She's been working with Marcus Christie.

-Who?

He's scum. We go back a long way.

Sharon and him together, after everything he did to Sam.

-I've got to see her.

-Look, use your head, Phil.

What would you even say to her? You need to calm down.

-You're not thinking straight.

-Just...just get out my way, Shirl.

Make me.

What, fists first, questions later?

You want to throw everything away, do you? Is that what you want?

You go after Sharon like this,

and you'll never forgive yourself.

If it didn't mean anything, then why haven't you told Mick?

Because he'd kill him!

Anyway, there's nothing to tell.

I told you, he kissed ME. I'm not in the wrong here.

Well...

Well, it takes two to tango, don't it?

What...what are you implying?

Oh, nothing, babe, I'm just being realistic.

You know, every relationship has its blind spot.

Well, not every relationship is like yours, Sharon.

And do you know what? Not every man is like Phil Mitchell.

Very true.

And do you know what, Linda?

Me and Phil have put our problems are behind us.

Here on out, we are strong, stronger than ever.

Now, can you and Mick say the same?

But, Phil, it doesn't make sense.

I know Sharon's stupid, but I didn't think she had a death wish.

Why go to all this trouble at the risk of you catching her out?

That's a big risk.

All I know is I'm supposed to be marrying her.

And maybe all this wedding stuff made you go soft.

I just don't understand.

What, and you... you didn't suspect nothing?

Then why?

Dunno. The attack on the Albert...

-I mean, how could she know?

-You tell me.

She tried putting the gaff in her name when we first bought it.

But I thought that was her just trying to prove herself.

-But this is bigger than that, ain't it?

-I don't get it.

It's like she's trying to break me.

-It's like...revenge.

-For what?

For Dennis.

This is about Dennis.

Lads, come on,

you're supposed to be asleep now. What's the matter with you?

Oi, and don't give me that doe-eyed look, cos I invented that!

Yeah, one day all this'll make sense to you, fellas.

I promise you.

Mummy'll understand.

It's getting late now. Do you know what you want for tea?

We could have our last ever McKlunky's!

What? No McKlunky's in Milton Keynes?

They've got places ten times better than boring old McKlunky's.

I wish I was your age.

You're going to have so much fun growing up there.

Right. What's everyone fancy, then?

Why don't you just choose for us, you know. You're good at that.

-Wait.

-Hang on, Liam!

Wait.

He's finding this really hard.

Come on, you knew this weren't going to be easy, for any of us.

Kids, go and lay the table. Come on.

Look, what I said about Lee...

It's fine.

I know you like him.

Yeah. I do, but...

But you're scared.

You can spend your whole life being frightened of getting hurt,

but you'll just be unhappy.

What about Terry?

-You love him?

-You're not supposed to ask things like that. That's MY job.

Do you love him?

Yes. I do.

Right then, and he really loves you.

I mean, he's planning this whole life for you - together.

Do you think it's a good move, then?

Are we making each other's decisions now?

I think you're giving yourself a chance to be happy.

So...what are you going to do, then?

-You can't beat yourself up about Dennis.

-Sharon loved Dennis.

And she ain't ever going to forgive me, is she?

Well, how can she blame you for something you had no control of?

Shirl. Shirl, just go. Please. Just go.

I want to help.

Help? Help?

I bet you're loving this, ain't ya?

Look, I know we've had our problems, but I do still care about you.

-Oh, and I'm supposed to believe that, am I?

-You can trust me.

Yeah, well, I trusted Sharon,

-and look where that got me.

-Well, whose fault's that?

I came here because I'm looking out for you.

And I needed to tell you something.

I promised Jay that I wouldn't.

I don't want to make things worse.

Jay? Jay? What's Jay got to do with anything?

What's he done now?

It's Ben.

He was there, Good Friday.

Why didn't Jay say something then?

-He wanted to, Phil, but he was...

-But what?

Oh, what, he was scared of me, yeah?

Just like Ben. And now neither of 'em, they don't want anything

-to do with me, do they?

-It's not like that.

Well, maybe they ARE better off.

Oi! Leave them, you numpty, you've got a visitor.

-Look, I'm sorry about earlier.

-No, forget it.

No, Linda, I was... I was just trying to be honest.

You know what I was... what I was trying to say...

before you got your knickers in a twist...

is that maybe, just maybe,

you and Mick aren't quite as happy as you make out.

Well, that's if you're off kissing other men, ain't it?

I don't see YOUR bloke anywhere. Has he stood you up?

Don't bode well, does it?

You can't find a kind word to say about me and Phil, can you?

What? What? I'm just being honest.

Oh, yeah, when it suits.

So what about being honest with Mick, hmm?

And by the way, there's speaking your mind and being downright rude.

Rude?! I've listened to you all day pouring your heart out.

When you said you were going ahead

with the wedding, I tried not to judge.

but if you ask my opinion - which you haven't...

-You want your head examining!

-Excuse me?! I don't think...

You're happy to sit there and judge...

You know, you need to get off your high horse, Linda.

-What?!

-You don't know NOTHING about me and Phil!

Me on a high horse?

You think you can poke holes in my relationship?

-You ain't got a leg to stand on!

-Oh, is that right, darling? Is it?

Don't get defensive. All right? All I'm saying is...

maybe you don't have my values.

Yeah, and maybe you should stop looking down on me.

Er, maybe you should take it easy on the "chabliss".

Charming! You know your problem, mate?

You think you're better than everyone.

No, not everyone - just some people.

All hail Queen Linda! With her perfect man and her perfect life!

Baby, baby, you couldn't take Sharon home, could you?

-Yeah, go on, go home.

-You're chucking me out?

No. I'm just politely asking you to call it a night.

LINDA LAUGHS The walk of shame!

You must be used to that by now, Shazza.

What have I done?

You gave her a choice. It's up to her what she does with it.

I hope I ain't talked her into anything.

My mum used to say that children are only borrowed.

I never thought about it at the time.

But now it makes sense.

You're going to need all that extra room with all this junk.

There's loads of it.

One day, I'm going to have even more clothes than Mum.

DOOR CLOSES

So? What did he say?

He said he'd take care of her.

And I will. I promise.

So you're staying in Walford, then?

If that's OK?

Course it is, Whit.

You're old enough to make your own decisions.

But one sign of trouble, and Terry is coming to collect you,

do you hear me? No second chances. Deal?

Deal.

It'll be exciting, Liam.

Yeah. But...

Well, you'll visit all the time - and you'll see Whitney.

But if Whitney's not going, I'm not going either.

You all right? You sure you don't want me to ring Phil or nothing?

No, no, no. I'll probably just go to bed.

I'll call him in a bit.

He must've got held up with Jay.

She don't mean it, you know, Sharon.

Your mother, she can't handle the truth - that's her problem.

Yeah, well, I'm sure it'll blow over. I'll get you a glass of water.

A large glass of water.

Yeah, I'm telling you, she's got a cheek.

Acting all high and mighty about me and Phil.

Yeah, look, if that's everything, I'm just going to be going.

And after she kissed Dean?! What a hypocrite.

So, what do you want to do?

Cos if you want to sort out Marcus, and help Ben, then...

I'd do anything for him.

And Sharon?

What about her?

What about her? She's turned me over, ain't she?

She's betrayed me.

Then let me help you.

And why would you help me, eh?

Because you deserve better.

You and me, Phil, we need each other.

I can't bear seeing you like this.

TOOLS FALL ON FLOOR

PHONE VIBRATES

Didn't I make it upstairs?

I'll get you a coffee.

You're an angel.

Bang that down in one, girl.

-Morning!

-Oh!

You're back, then.

She certainly is.

You two celebrating, were you?

She got Brahms with Sharon last night.

Sharon? That must have been a bundle of laughs(!)

We just had a couple of drinks.

A couple of bottles, each...

-Hiya! Where is he?

-Who?

-Birthday boy. Dad!

-Oh, yeah, it's today, ain't it.

-Yeah, where is he?

-He's still in his feather.

-Brilliant, gives us a chance to sort out what we're going to do.

-Oi!

Sorry.

Morning, love.

I just thought, like, we could get all his old mates

-from Billingsgate and Canning Town and have a big party tonight.

-He never had any mates.

I can't really do tonight, I've got this lager promotion thing.

-Did you get Sharon home all right?

-Yeah.

Should have left her to stagger back by herself.

Ah, did she take her friendship bracelet back?

Oh, before you go, me and your mum are making a few changes round here.

-She wants her living room back, so you'll have to share with Shirley, I'm afraid.

-What?! Why?

-So your grandad can have your room.

-Why can't he have Johnny's room?

Because Johnny and Lee are already sharing. Listen, it's not open for discussion.

My name's above that door and all, you know. I'm entitled to me own room!

You'd better not snore.

-Did you get Dad's present?

-It's in the passage.

Why did you get him a present?

-He never got you any when you were kids.

-Cos he's our only dad

-and it might be his last one, for all we know.

-Here's hoping...

Do you know what,

I hope when you're old, your kids don't bother with you either!

Hold up, hold up. Listen, we'll have a little party this afternoon.

I don't want the gaff filled with fishmongers and geezers who look like they're brown bread.

-All right, so, Teen, you're on the decks, Shirl, you're...

-No, I've got plans.

-What plans?

I have got a life, you know.

Before you say anything...

I don't need a lecture from the former alcoholic.

Your coffee's there.

Thanks.

Babe... Come here.

What would I do without you?

-Calm it with those balloons...

-Sh, he'll hear us. >

-You sh.

-Right, we open the door and we all burst out with "happy birthday", all right? >

Hold up, hold up a minute, we don't want to frighten the life out of him. >

He'll be fine. >

ALL: Happy birthday!

Oh...you remembered...

That's from all of us, that is.

What am I going to do with a ruddy great thing like that?

What are you talking about? It's a Billingsgate clock.

-Going to whack it up in the pub.

-Oh, I see.

It's supposed to be for my birthday, but really it's for your boozer.

I thought you'd like it, Dad. It's old.

No, it's very nice. I'm touched.

I don't go a lot on birthdays.

Well, you best start going on birthdays.

Cos we're throwing you a party!

What? Oh, you don't want to make a fuss for an old man like me.

-We want to make a fuss of you.

-You're going to get spoilt.

-Oh, well, if you insist,

better just go along with it...

Happy birthday, Dad.

< Happy birthday, Grandad.

You don't mind about this party, do you?

No. No, it's fine.

How's your nut?

Getting there.

So what was you and Sharon shouting about last night?

Shouting?

Yeah. You was going at each other like a couple of alley cats.

Oh, God, that...that was nothing. That was wedding stuff.

She wants doves released during the ceremony...

Can you believe it?!

Doves!

She's no Cinderella and he's definitely no Prince Charming.

Oh, Vicky and Spencer can't come. They send their love.

Oh, and I had a row with Linda last night.

You know, she can turn into a right shrew when she's had a few.

I'll have to talk to her, put it right.

I can't believe I drunk so much.

I don't even remember getting home...

Nancy walked me back..

-Oh, no...

-What?

Nothing... Nothing, I was...

I was just going to ask Linda to be my bridesmaid.

And now it'll just be Roxy. Do you think one's enough?

It's up to you.

Don't I get a kiss goodbye?

You've already had one this morning.

Look, there's a blade of grass there you probably haven't sniffed yet. Yes...

Phil! Morning!

Phil!

I had Tina on the phone first thing talking about a celebration for your dad.

Got excited for a minute, thought he might be dead.

It's nothing to do with me.

I've made a trifle.

With any luck he'll choke on it, if Lee doesn't nick it first!

All right?

No, I'm not all right!

Shirley told me about you and Ben.

-I wanted to tell you...

-Then why didn't you?

Because Ben made me promise not to!

You lied to me, Jay - you lied to my face, didn't you?

-He's my mate.

-Yeah, and he's my son! Now, where is he?

-I don't know...

-Don't... Not today, Jay. Don't muck me about.

-Now tell me - where is he?

-I don't know!

I haven't seen him since Easter and I've only ever met up with him twice!

-I swear that's the truth.

-Now, you should have come to me straightaway.

After everything I've done for you.

Now get out. Go on, get out!

Cos I don't want to see your face again.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Oh, Trace, see who that is.

Oh, after you've taken them lot, be a love and nip to the shop.

There's a list on the kitchen table.

-Why can't you go?

-Cos I'm busy.

So am I.

I ain't come for any trouble, I just want to see Stan...

-Sharon?

-Linda, look, about last night....

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.

Nancy, could I have a quick word, please?

Here! Hang about... where do you think you're going?

I said, I just want to see Stan.

-Yes, but...

-Listen, things ain't been the same between us since the trouble

with my Rainie and your Mick. I just want to say I'm sorry, that's all.

I think I might have said something I shouldn't have last night...

Oh, what? About my mum kissing Dean, yeah?

I want you to forget it...

-I can't.

-Nancy, she'll kill me if she finds out I've told you.

I'm actually a little bit more worried about my mum cheating on my dad, Sharon!

Look, please. Please don't say nothing.

What did she want?

Nothing. Something about doing shifts at the Albert.

I told her I weren't bothered.

Can I help you?

-I doubt it.

-You can't come up here...

Oh, take no notice of her. Come and sit down.

Oh, you're his friend, are you? Should have guessed.

What's that supposed to mean?

-Should have known from the look of you.

-How do you mean, "the look of me"?

I know your type - batting your eyelids

and wiggling your backside to get what you want.

Oi! Come back here!

-Oh, ignore her. I do.

-Who is she?

Ex-wife's sister. She's a pain.

What brings you up here?

I've come to apologise. All that I said about Mick.

I was wrong. So... Here's a peace offering.

For your birthday.

What have you got here?

I was just passing Billingsgate.

Don't you go thinking I went there special.

It's a sea bass! You little corker.

We'll put him in the fridge.

Best birthday present you could have given me.

Friends again?

Yeah, friends again.

Stick around - we're going to have a party later.

I dunno, Stan, I'm not feeling my best.

I've got an eye infection.

Nonsense, you look gorgeous. Here...they bought me Big Ben.

They're pushing the boat out, ain't they?

Have you been hinting at a life insurance or a will?

They value me.

THEY LAUGH

If I'd have known she was the one bad-mouthing Mick,

I'd have chucked her out!

Well, maybe having her around will make the old man more bearable.

-Why are you cutting them in triangles?

-It looks nice.

Makes them too fiddly to eat.

Just cut them in half, give people something to hold on to.

And look at that...

you call that pickle?

Are we going to get some time alone before this party?

Could you at least try and make a bit of effort?

All right, Dean...

Dean! Make yourself useful and make some space in the living room.

You can take these chairs in.

-Charming - put me to work as soon as I get here!

-Oh, come on!

All right, Nance?

Oi, what's Dean doing here?

He's allowed to be here - he's family.

Wait a minute...

What's with the attitude?

I ain't got an attitude.

What's the matter with her?

I've no idea.

-Not now, Shirl.

-So is this it?

Last night you couldn't get enough of me and today I'm the plague.

I'm thinking about what needs to happen.

Between us?

With Sharon.

You know what needs to happen. She stole from you.

-It's complicated.

-No, it's not, Phil.

Yes, it is. Because I still love her!

You don't know the meaning of the word.

How much has she got from you?

How much more is she going to fleece from you...

and you sit there and you say that you love her!

What was you expecting, Shirl, eh?

You didn't seriously think we was going to get back together, did you?

You was there, nothing else.

Drop dead.

Shift up, baby.

I know you don't want to share with Shirley.

It's just... there's no way around it.

I just don't want the old boy sleeping on that camp bed.

I'm not even that bothered about it.

So what was all that about with your mother?

Is it cos she went to stay with your nan?

It's been tough for her, the last couple of weeks.

Just try and give her a squeeze, yeah, you know?

-She's back now, so...

-It's not that.

What is it, then?

Sometimes I just wish it was how it was, with just the five of us.

You feeling a bit, like, crowded?

Something like that.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Don't take it out on your mum, though, cos they're my family.

She's had a lot to put up with, what with my dad and Shirley.

And Dean.

Dean? I thought you got on with him.

You do, don't you?

Yeah, guess so...

Right, well, just take a breath,

get your nut in gear and then

come back upstairs and grin and bear it with the rest of us, please.

Give us a kiss.

Pop...

when you're old, you can come and live with me.

Ah...Nancy!

You little melt.

Ruddy fish, stinking everything out.

I'm teaching my grandsons life skills.

Right, so you get behind this fin here, cut through the head,

like that, slip him round and do the same thing the other side.

You have to sort of break the bone. That's it.

Yeah, Grandad, that's very impressive.

Then we turn it round this way.

Cut through, down to the tail, to release the belly.

Oh, that's rank.

And then you can pull all the guts out like that.

-Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!

-Dean, get off!

Next thing you want to do, is, using the backbone as a guide,

cut through, right down, to make the fillet.

And the same thing, the other way up. And there we are.

Right, that's enough of this caper - let's get this party started, eh!

-Lee, Johnny...get the rest of the grub, take that next door.

-Thanks, Dean.

Dean, couldn't do me a favour? Couldn't sort the music out?

If Tina does it, we'll end up doing the conga.

-And we can't have that, now, can we?

-No.

I just had a chat with Nancy.

She's feeling a little bit overcrowded. Has Dean upset her?

Dean? No, I don't think so.

Well, let's just keep an eye on her, all right.

We'll make the effort.

You all right, Cora?

Yeah. You keeping all right?

Yeah, yeah.

Don't keep him in here too long.

There's plenty of grub wanting eating.

You've got a good lad there.

Yeah, the best.

So what's the story with you two?

Fooled you into thinking he's a human being, has he?

I don't fool easily. What's your game?

Maiden aunt who hangs around like a bad smell?

That's about it.

Only thing I could stomach about her was her trifle.

Don't go thinking I made it for you.

-I know how much the family love it.

-My family, not yours.

If it wasn't for Tina railroading everyone,

they wouldn't be bothering with you.

Still using that bowl, are you?

It was my mother's.

Heirloom, ain't it? Yeah, very nice.

Oh, dear.

(You'll pay for that!)

Leave it!

That was a bit harsh, wasn't it?

Served her right.

She should have kept a civil tongue in her head talking to you.

I can fight my own battles.

Shame about the trifle.

You're a very lucky man, having your family round you.

It's taken long enough.

This could be my last birthday.

Well, if it is, we'll raise a glass or two to you, at your wake.

-You can have one drink.

-Nah, my shift starts in three hours.

But it's a party.

I'm fine on orange juice, babe.

Right, I'm not drinking, then, if you're not.

Oh, no, don't be silly.

Look, I really need to talk to you...

What about?

# Happy birthday to you... #

Oh, you don't need to go to all that...

# Happy birthday to you... #

Where's Shirley?

# Happy birthday, dear Stan

# Happy birthday to you. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE FROM PUB

Oh, I love this! Big old family parties.

Shame Zsa Zsa ain't here.

Well, let's see what happens with the next one, eh?

I wanted to tell you when we were alone.

But...

-I'm pregnant.

-Oh! Already?

I did a test this morning.

And I was going to wait for the right moment, but...

Don't tell anyone yet, all right...

Everyone...we're pregnant! Sorry!

-What?

-Congratulations!

Oh, that's good news, ain't it?

Shotgun Godmum!

Well, what's happened?

-Where are you going?

-Ask Phil.

You don't have to leave.

I'm not staying here.

Sharon, can you give us a minute, please?

I'm sorry...all right? You don't have to go anywhere.

-Yes, I do.

-Jay, can you blame me, eh?

-Can you blame me for being angry?

-I'm going to Abi's.

Look... I need to know where Ben is, so if you've got an address or anything...

So that's why you're apologising? It's nothing to do with me, it's all Ben.

No, it's both of you. But I need to know where he is, I need to know he's OK

and I need to speak to him. Cos I think I can help him.

I haven't got an address,

but I've got a phone number.

I won't tell him it's come from you. All right?

I've forwarded it to you.

-Thanks.

-Whatever.

Ben?

It's Dad.

Right, come on. Family photo.

I want everyone in it who's a Carter!

-What about Tosh?

-Well, she can take it.

-Dad!

-My birthday, my rules!

Come on, boy, get yourself round here, come on.

Coming round...

I'm guessing your daughter followed you onto the game.