20/09/2014 EastEnders Omnibus

BABY CRIES

OK, OK, calm down. Daddy's here.

Come on, little man, come up here with me.

Gotcha. There you go. That's all right.

Daddy's here. There we go.

Oi, oi, oi, don't look at me like that - he's your brother.

All right, come on then. Ready? Open wide...

Good. There you go, there you go, that's good.

Don't you worry about a thing, kids.

Daddy'll sort it all out, eh... there we go.

TEXT MESSAGE

Oi, what're you doing? The kids have to eat off that table.

Will you tell her I ain't going door-to-door in my lunch?

It's hardly door-to-door, is it? It's one door, Blades.

I've had the OK from Aleks and I'm on Kat's stall,

so it's down to you, girl.

This stuff looks toxic.

It's not toxic - it's Romanian.

Besides, it's all about presentation.

Nan? You ain't pimping me out for a bit of knocked-off hairspray

and wet-look gel.

Listen, Alfie's a trier

but if we don't all dig in, we'll be out on our ear holes next week.

He is struggling.

He won't admit it but he does need us, Stace.

Hey! What've we got here then, eh?

Let's see if my luck's any better.

Yeah, good luck.

It's just a bit of hair gear, that's all.

Tell you what - bag us up a load of this. All right?

Cos there's a lot of ladies on that market with split ends.

And if we cannot sell hair lacquer on an east London market,

where can we, eh?

Right. Come on, give us a bag.

-Here. You can have mine if you want.

-Nah, nah, nah, you get rid of that.

But I thought Denny was your page boy?

Yeah, he is. But I also want Amy and Janet and Lexi.

I can't be doing without me flower girls, can I?

No, of course not.

I'm just so lucky I managed to sort my dress out,

although there's still so much to do.

And has Linda seen your dress? Or was that after you two kissed and made up

and I was demoted back to admin?

Oi. And you need to sort out this best man business.

All right if I have a cup of tea first?

-Yeah, you can, cos Billy's coming round for a boys' night in to talk about the stag.

-A boys' night in?

Er, don't start. You've only had one job and I've still ended up doing it.

Come on, babe, I want this wedding to be special, OK?

I've got enough on my plate as it is.

Whatever you want.

I've had a word with Mick

-and the drinks are on the tab tonight an' all.

-Really?

Yep. You enjoy yourself. You deserve it.

Thank you.

Oh, Phil - Linda wants a word.

What about?

DOOR SHUTS

Oh, I've had the kids looking everywhere for this.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. If you need any ironing done, bring it on.

It's quiet, ain't it?

Yeah. We never needed an alarm with that lot, did we?

Shirley, all I'm saying is, right, if you go down Shoreditch,

all those £300 cut-and-blow-dry gaffs, this stuff, promise you, this is all the rage.

Right?

-Alfie, it's got a skull and crossbones on it.

-No, don't worry about that.

It's a sticker. It's just health and safety gone mad.

-It comes off.

-What's the matter with you?

I've just lost an earring down the khazi, so you tell me.

Shirley, you sorted that kitchen out yet?

Linda, can I interest you in some conditioner? Top of the range.

Alfie. Alfie, most people have months to organise a hen do,

-I've had hours and I've got a family full of shirkers. So I can do without the hard sell.

-Fair comment.

Now, you tell your girls it's in here from six.

-Free bar so it won't cost 'em nothing.

-Ah, I dunno.

Oi. Oi!

Hold on, hold on, hold on...wait.

-Yeah. Pine fresh.

-Oi! Take that.

By the way, you're over at Phil's tonight.

A boys' night to sort the stag out.

Hold up, what's that got to do with me?

I've told you, she's my mate, which means you've got to make nice,

so you're going on that stag whether you like it or not.

-Young lovers, I'm out of here.

-Oi, hold up. What you doing tonight?

-Fancy getting Mitchell-ed up?

-What? Nah. Nah, mate. I can't, got the kids, ain't I?

-Get someone to have 'em for a couple of hours.

-Lee's over with Whitney tonight.

There you go, see? Not just a pretty face.

-Sorted. We'll have a laugh.

-Nah, nah, nah. I can't do it.

Listen, we'll go over there, show our boats for a couple of hours,

then we'll slip back to yours for a nice little peaceful night.

Everyone's a winner.

When was the last time you had the gaff to yourself, eh?

Tell you what, I'll see you later.

Good boy. Ta-ta.

Here, mate, I couldn't nick a snout off you, could I?

Ta.

A stag night... Brainstorm?

I mean, obviously I've already got some quality plans.

-But it won't do any harm, will it? Anyway pop round after work, yeah, Mas?

-Yeah.

I'm not actually getting blown out of dinner plans by my own father, am I?

Dad?

Babe, I am so sorry something's come up, I got to go.

You've only just got here. I thought we was having lunch?

Sorry. Hey!

-Oh, don't. I thought you was Mum.

-You having fun there?

-No.

Mum's on one organising Sharon's hen and I left the house at eight

-to swerve her and I've been on the move ever since.

-It can't be that bad.

Right, what's that - like 32 missed calls?

Yeah, that's pretty bad. Well, listen - why don't you come round to Lauren's later on?

-You can hang out with us.

-Know what - you're all right, actually.

Come on, Nance, let it go. Come round.

-Fine.

-Yeah? Awesome! That's that sorted.

Can I get a coffee to go, please?

You all right, Peter? What you doing later?

Apparently everybody's at mine, so...

It's more of a hide-out, actually.

I'm helping Cindy out with Beth.

On a school night, too? You devil.

You're all right. Cheers, anyway.

Ah, that's a shame. We're going to miss you, Beale.

I've just had murders with the limo company.

-What's this?

-It's half a sparkly curtain.

I can see that. Why?

Never you mind what this is.

You just have to wait and see. Now, sorry, what were you saying about a limo?

Oh, look, don't worry. Linda, are you sure you've got enough time to...

Don't worry, don't worry, it's all in hand.

It's all...in hand.

Excuse me, Mrs Mitchell.

She ain't married yet.

I bet you're over the moon that the guv'nor is sorting out your hen do.

Ain't you? She's going to make you proud. Ain't you, baby, eh?

-Going to make her proud. You just want me to get on with that stage, don't you?

-Yes, I do. I do. I...yes.

-Now, I've booked you in with Dean to get your hair done.

-Dean?

I know, but he really wants to make amends and I've warned him

to make a fuss of you.

So it's the perfect opportunity.

-OK.

-And he's expecting you soon so you need to get over there.

I'd better give him a hand.

Hold on.

It's a bit early, isn't it?

Well, it's your big day. Best make the most of it.

Congratulations.

Some people don't need a lot. Do they?

Bottle of Asti and two straws, them two would still be happy.

LAUGHTER

-It's too much. They can't have 'em all.

-What're you talking about? Whitney does it for a living.

I mean, she's got 30-odd on the go every day. Lee can help her out.

-How can we turn down a free drink from Phil, eh?

-Alfie, I could really do without

being slapped in the face by other people's happiness.

Do you know what I mean?

Kat, you know, I was going to wait till everyone was about

till I told you, but you might as well know.

What have you done now?

No, I... Nah, nah, I've done nothing.

It's good news.

Good news?

Really?

Yeah, really. Yeah. I've, um... I've spoken to the council.

And they're going to cut us some slack.

-Slack?

-Yeah.

-What you talking about?

They're going to give us three months to sort it out. You know, cos I laid it on thick, didn't I?

-And this is official?

-Darling, it's proper official.

I was going to surprise you but I thought, might as well tell you now.

That's fantastic. How did you pull that out the bag?

Kat, I can be very persuasive when I want to be, OK? I pulled you, didn't I? Come here.

Now come on, go and get your glad rags on. Let's go and enjoy it while it lasts, yeah? That's it.

So this is what all the top stylists in Bucharest are using, yeah?

Yeah. Definitely.

Right, then.

Oh, no, I've got to go back to work.

Listen, if the product's as good as you say it is,

you won't mind testing it out.

Only take two minutes.

No, get that away from me! Me eyes are burning already.

We haven't talked prices yet!

Making friends again, I see?

Here you are. This is for Phil. There's 500 in there.

I'm sure he's going to count it but just so you know.

And also, I want to apologise.

I'm usually sneaking OUT of women's bedrooms.

No, in all seriousness, I was bang out of order.

I never should have dragged you into that. I'm sorry.

Let me start to make it up to you by doing your hair.

Making you look even more beautiful than you already do. Hmm?

I heard about the appeal.

Look, Stacey, we've both got to live here, haven't we?

So the way I see it, OK, is we're never going to be best friends, obviously.

But I don't know, we don't have to hate each other, do we?

-No, course not.

-Right. So...as fun as this has been,

I've got a hen night to get ready for.

Maybe I'll see you tonight.

All right, yeah.

-OK.

-See you later.

I was thinking about a slide-show. For my speech. You know, me and Phil through the years.

Yeah, but it's a little bit weird though, ain't it, Bill?

Billy! Billy!

What's all this about a stag event later? I've just seen Masood.

Yeah.

-Oh, come on, Mum, it'll be fun.

-Yeah, it'll be a right laugh.

No, no, no. I can't be bothered with all that.

Look at this. You could feed the 5,000 with this lot.

Mum, listen to me, all right? We're all missing 'em.

-It'll do us both good.

-Yeah.

-And trust me, you're not going to get no peace and quiet with these kids round here.

-No.

PHONE RINGS

Ha-ha-ha, Linda - you can't find me!

Hello? Who's that?

-All right?

-Just feeling a bit iffy.

Oh. You're not up to helping Linda with Sharon's hen do then, no?

-Must be a bug going round.

-Must be.

Oh, you know, sugar boost, innit? You know, keep my energy levels up.

Yeah, sugar boost.

I did finish work early to go and spend some quality time with Lauren

but I'll stay in and look after you.

No, no. Don't be silly, don't be silly.

PHONE RINGS

Probably Linda now. Probably really struggling.

-Anyway, I'll just go and cancel those special plans.

-All right. I'm feeling a bit better.

-Oh, really, are you?

-All right, all right! Enough with the guilt trip.

You don't have to put up with her.

Come on. Chop chop.

She's only going to come and kick the door in anyway.

I can't face Attila the Hen sober.

Listen, strippers love older women.

-Here you are, Kat. It's your lucky day.

-Oi, you!

I reckon they like the discipline that the older woman

brings to the table.

-A firm hand.

-Ugh, Nan!

Ugh, is this off?

Don't be stupid. Wine don't go off.

-It does taste a bit funny. Where'd you nick that from?

-Well, if you don't want it, I'll have it.

-Nan?!

-Now what?

-That stinks! It smells like cat food.

-Yeah, well, you'll have to get used to it.

Fat Elvis don't do returns and we've got a barrel load of it.

Everything all right?

Yeah, yeah, just every now and then I think about her, you know. And it hits you.

When I was a kid, right, she used to make me as a treat - what was it? -

bread and butter pudding. Didn't have the heart to tell her I couldn't stand it.

You've always been a big softie, ain't ya? So come on, then, what do you reckon?

All the lumps and bumps covered or what?

Beautiful... Always beautiful.

-Soppy git.

-Right. What do you prefer? Red or black?

Red, innit? Got to be red.

Cheers, Stace.

Right, you two ready, then?

Ha-ha!

There you go.

I hope it's strong.

Right, before everyone arrives, I just want to say that

when it comes to love, things don't always go to plan.

You know, sometimes life throws obstacles up in the way

but true love always finds a way.

So, here's to you and Phil. True love that found its way.

-Cheers.

-I'll drink to that.

This one's called a Ball and Chain.

I've made a selection. They're all ready and waiting. I did it especially.

And what did I say about Dean? You look fantastic! He's done a great job.

Thanks, Linda. Look, I'm just going to go to the loo, OK? Cheers.

Where is everybody?

Hiya. Are we early?

No!

Alfie, if I'm not back by ten I've chucked you for a stripper!

Yeah - I'm not that lucky, babe! Have fun.

There you go. That's you done.

-Hold on, my shoe's playing up.

-We'll see you in there.

Good luck with you two bringing girlfriends back home to this lot, eh?

You're a pair of lucky gits though, eh?

Got a mum who's going to do all the battles for ya,

an auntie that loves you very much, and a great nan who's got

enough hair gel sorted till you're 21.

And, you've got a dad who's going to take care of the lot of you.

Because that's what dads do. Take care of things.

Right. Let's get you two sorted now, right? There we go.

Tell you what, I used to love a playground.

Saying that, though,

remember one time I proper face-planted off the monkey bars

and then my dad bought me an ice cream so I wouldn't tell my mum.

Yeah. I was never much of a playground kid.

What, you? You're like James Bond.

So, today I realised that my 52-year-old father has

a better social life than me.

I wouldn't mind but he's not particularly popular himself.

Ooh! I imagine that means you're not doing anything tonight, then?

If you need me, I'm across the road. And if the kids play up,

-give us a shout on the phone, yeah?

-Yeah, that's fine.

Lee's coming round in a bit, so he'll help me out if I'm struggling.

-Alfie, go and get your head down. You look like you need it.

-No, no, I'm fine. Nah, it's all good.

-See ya.

-All right. See you later.

-What sort of surprise?

-If I told you that it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?

See? Stripper.

Well, you'll have to wait and see.

Is it just me or is it really, really nice?

-I can't get a reception.

-We've only just got here.

Will you at least give 'em half a chance to play her up?

-Stace...

-Thanks.

Look, have a drink. Relax.

I like a swimmer's build myself.

I can't be doing with too many of them muscles, you know?

-What?

-Last few days of freedom, dolly. Should've brought the baby oil.

Look at her! Look, she's not even bothered. I bet Phil gives her a private show.

KNOCK ON DOOR

DOOR OPENS

You've left your front door open. What's the matter with you? You're living in east London!

There's tea leaves everywhere.

Listen, you having this - four cans of lager for a fiver?

-How can I compete with that?

-Mick, listen, I've got some bits and bobs to do. See you over there.

Nah, nah. I know your game. If I leave here, you'll never turn up.

-Mick, I promise. Hand on heart, I'll be there.

-Alfie, I'm not a mug.

Listen, tell you what, give me 30 minutes and I'll be with you.

I ain't going nowhere. You ain't leaving me over there on me jack. We're in this together.

-Listen, 20 minutes. 20 minutes tops.

-You crack on, I'll make a start for the pair of us.

No, no, Mick. Please. Just go.

I can't go with ya. All right?

-Why not?

-Because if I've not paid the rent on this house by next week,

we're going to get kicked out of here.

What?

So what I'm going to do, I'm going to start a little fire in here.

And I'm going to make a claim.

Make sure you clean up after yourselves, yeah?

Why? Where you going?

Something's come up.

But I thought we were sorting the stag out?

Confirm everything. That's what Sharon said.

No go-karting, no paintballing. None of that. Anybody tries any funny stuff,

-they'll be counting the teeth they've got left in their head. Understood?

-Understood.

It's only going to be smoke damage.

-I'm not burning down the house, Mick. It's nothing.

-Nothing?

-It's arson.

-What? Dropping a snout in a bin ain't exactly Brink's-Mat.

-You don't even smoke. What's the matter with you?

-It's just a small claim. What do they care anyway?

It'll be enough to cover the contents.

-It'll just buy me a bit of time.

-Buy you a bit of time?

-Yes.

-What're you talking about?

What do you think this is, some sort of slap on the wrist? You're talking about a proper bit of bird.

No, just let me do what I've got to do, OK? I've only got a small chance before the family come back.

I've tried everything, and nothing has worked. OK? This...

This is my last chance. All right?

Look at me. Look at me.

You've got a wife, you've got kids at home and you want to risk it all?

You want to risk going away for a poxy insurance claim? Yeah?

Now don't get me wrong, we've all had our moments.

Right? But you're not thinking straight. OK?

So. We're going to go and have a beer.

And tomorrow we'll sit down and we'll sort something out.

Alfie, liven yourself up.

It all depends on what your type is, really.

What type, men or women?

No, I mean, like bad boys or nice guys.

My taste speaks for itself, obviously.

-Bad boys... All day long.

-Nan.

-Depends on who you attract, too.

-Oi.

-What?

-Stop it. They're fine.

-I'm just checking.

I said it depends on who you attract, too. Actually.

-Sharon knows all about that, don't you, Sharon?

-Sorry?

Like there's Linda and Mick.

Then there's you and Phil, me and David.

Some of us are suckers for punishment.

She ain't had a drink for ages.

I'm not being funny but can you smell tuna?

Well, Jay's head's up in Bolton with Abi, so he's no help, is he?

I know a bloke who could do you a deal on a minibus.

If you want to make a day of it. Finder's fee applicable, of course.

A fee? For ringing your friend with a van?

A stag day out. I like the sound of that.

This is a minibus, all right? And this is Phil we're talking about. Who's going to go?

Might as well save your money and get him a Boris bike, or something, do you know what I mean?

Well, you lot would all go though, wouldn't you?

Hey! Here we go.

-Here we go!

-All right.

-Hold up, I thought we was having a drink?

-We can drink and play.

-I don't think that's a good idea.

So what we saying, big blind £5, small blind £2.50?

-Yes, Les! You see, that is my brother right there!

-Right, who wants?

Sorry, boys, listen, I can't. Christmas coming up. We're on a budget and all that, you know.

-Christmas? What are you talking about?

-The old woman would kill me.

It's all right for you. I never know whether she's going to poison me or not with her cooking.

-Don't think I'll risk it.

-OK, big blind, £2?

Easy. We can't all make a fortune out of misery, can we?

Oh. Says the publican.

Why don't we just have a nice little friendly game?

We used to play with matches when I was a kid.

When we had no money.

Anyway, this lot ain't going to last long, is it?

I guess someone is going to have to do the beer run.

A couple of cans of bitter wouldn't go amiss.

Listen, I'll go. I could do with the exercise. You lot start without me.

-Yeah, sure?

-Yeah, yeah, fine. Right, Billy.

Listen, I ain't going to play for money. No way.

Don't worry about it. I'll be back in a minute, all right?

Well, listen, don't be long.

Right, give us one of them lagers, Bill.

You OK? You enjoying yourself?

Yeah. Yeah, it's great.

You've got your surprise soon. You ready?

Yeah. As I'll ever be.

It's time. This way, come on.

That's it.

All right, don't you think it's about time we made up now?

Sorry, are you giving me the silent treatment?

You know, every year, Rox, I always fancy myself to crack it.

Something good will happen and I'm like, "That's cool, here we go."

Then one morning, you look in the mirror

and you realise you're 50. Kids, a missus who relies on you.

And then bam, it hits you. What if it never happens?

Too late to learn a trade, ain't it?

What's that saying? "God loves a trier."

-Sometimes trying ain't enough.

-Alfie.

Alfie, you've got three gorgeous boys, right?

You've got a missus who adores you.

I don't think you've done too badly. Yeah?

Look, I've got to go,

cos I think I'm already more than fashionably late for this hen night.

You know what, Alfie?

You need to remember something. You're Alfie Moon.

You're going to pull something out the bag. You always do. Right?

So just do yourself a favour, stop feeling sorry for yourself

and get on with it. OK? Hmm?

-See you later.

-Yeah.

-It's just, you know, it's just so quiet.

-I know that, all right?

And it's going to be hard, but it'll get better. I'm here for you. We all are.

-Shirley, can I get two pink ones, please? Have you seen Kat?

-No. Why? Is everything all right?

I bet she's gone round Whitney's.

She's going to miss it all now, look.

Ladies! Can I have your attention, please? Gather round.

You ready?

May I present our very special surprise guest -

Mr Philip Mitchell!

LAUGHTER

He's not going to strip, is he?

-What you doing? Where you going?

-I can't do it. I can't marry him.

But...

Come on, then, where's the rest of them?

OK, OK, calm down, ladies. I had some light entertainments planned.

-Stripper, stripper!

-Oh, and he's the "light entertainment," is he?

-It may be entertainment but he's not light.

-Where's the stripper?

-Where's Sharon?

-You know what, I think you should be the stripper, Phil!

SHOUTS OF "OFF! OFF!"

I think that chemo's gone to your head!

I thought we'd play a game.

I thought it'd be nice to see inside our friends' hearts

rather than inside some stranger's trousers.

-I'd rather see Phil strip.

-Off! Off! Off! Off!

I thought this was supposed to be an 'en party.

-Where's the fun?

-Where's the hen?

-Uh, she's...preparing.

-Preparing what?

-Her big entrance, of course!

-Ooh!

Come on - let's get some drinks out here.

-These girls are dying of thirst.

-If I've got to watch Phil Mitchell strip, make mine a tequila.

-A double.

-You should be so lucky.

Got it.

Cherry hogs!

For Phil's stag.

Cherry hogs? What is that, man?

It sounds like a stripper joint for the larger lady.

Yeah. Or motorbikes for effeminate males? Billy.

Really?

That one's done me, as it happens. Cherry hogs, cherry hogs?

Oh! Dogs! Greyhounds.

Rhyming slang does my head in. Are we playing poker or what?

We're waiting for Alfie, ain't we?

We've been waiting. How long does it take to get beer?

-Maybe he's had a better offer?

-What? I mean, we've got food, we've got drink, mates, jokes.

What could be more important than this?

Maybe I should go and have a little look for him.

No, Mick, maybe you should sit down and ante up, eh?

Alfie's a big boy, He can look after himself, can't he?

PHONE RINGS

Hold up, hold up.

It's the old woman.

L...

Just calm down.

I'll keep an eye open for her.

It's probably just the booze or something, you know, it's just like...

Don't worry. I've found her.

I'll call you back.

Linda said you had a bit of a panic attack. What's the matter?

I'm just being silly. Don't worry.

I'm fine.

Course are you.

Bit of fresh air,

you'll be sweet as and you'll be ready to go back to the party.

It's normal to have a little wobble just before the big day.

You know that, don't you?

It's not a wobble.

It's not a panic attack, Mick.

I can't do this.

Do what? The hen?

No, be here. Be with Phil.

-Well, I take it they're all in there? The stags.

-Yeah.

Well, I might as well tell Billy he's wasting his time.

Just slow down. Don't do nothing rash.

Let's go in the kitchen. I'll make you a nice drink

and try and sort your nut out. Come on.

Tequila!

Righto, ladies, I've got the...

Where are you going?

-You got me here to play a game for the hen, right?

-Yeah.

-Well, there's no hen, is there?

-I told you, she'll be here.

"What is Phil's favourite film?"

-The Great Escape.

-Is that right, Phil?

Yeah. Makes every Christmas special.

Now when you see her, just tell her I've gone home, yeah?

If you're not going to stay, then I need your answers for when she gets back.

"Is Phil a leg or a breast man?"

-Definitely a leg.

-Really?

-Yeah. Well, you can't fake a pair of pins, can you?

-Too much info, Shirl.

-You want me to tell my intimate secrets to this lot?

-It's for Sharon,

for your blushing bride. Your one true love. Come on, Phil. She'll love it.

She ain't even here, is she?

-Just...

-Come on...

All right, all right, all right! You've got ten minutes. OK?

-Another round?

-Yes!

Let's have another question!

Where's Kat?

I think she's gone to get the kids.

Maybe I should go and help her.

If she wants to miss all the fun, let her.

Hey, darling, it's me.

You're probably knee-deep in pink cocktails right now, aren't ya?

Anyway, I hope you're having a blinding time. Thinking about you.

And I love you, Kat. I love you.

Bye.

PHONE BEEPS

What about the time with the West Ham tickets?

That was a classic.

What happened there?

Right. Well, for his birthday, Mum got 'em both Arsenal away tickets.

She got 'em, like, little matching West Ham scarves.

He was proper happy about it, weren't he? Go on.

OK, well, so they've showed up, all claret and blue, they've gone

and got their tickets from the box office.

Only problem was that Mum had got them tickets in the home end.

The mighty Arsenal? You're joking?

Honest! So Dad's sat there, surrounded by Arsenal fans,

and Mum just didn't have a clue, she's having the time of her life.

-They lost - what was it? Two-nil, that day.

-Yeah!

Yeah, the Arsenal fans made up this chant,

and Dad had to sit there and just suffer it. Great.

DOORBELL I'll get that.

Who knew one family had so many funny stories?

-Beale's here.

-Hello. You all right?

JOHNNY AND NANCY LAUGH

Linda got the hump, has she?

She's just worried about you, that's all.

She wanted today to be perfect, didn't she?

So did I.

I thought that if everything was perfect...

you know, the dress, the flowers, the vows -

then things'd be different.

But they're not. It's all a lie.

Don't say that.

You know that's not true.

Really?

I got this, this morning. RSVP. From my mate Michelle.

"Due to Ian's health, neither me or Ian can make your wedding."

That's it.

That's all she put.

So she hates Phil. So what?

She doesn't hate Phil. She hates me with Phil.

We bring out the worst in each other.

And the best?

Yeah. Sometimes.

Well, you know what that sounds like to me? A marriage.

"For better or for worse."

You don't know what our worst looks like.

You know, we all can't be like you and Linda.

The golden couple.

I've known Phil most of my life, but sometimes I don't know him at all.

And he don't know me. We're not like you two.

We don't have that trust.

And you think trust just comes out of thin air?

You know, it's not easy for me and Linda.

We have to work at it every single day.

And sometimes we get it wrong. But we work at it.

And do you know why? Because we love each other.

Do you love him?

Yeah.

Always have.

Well, then maybe you need to take that leap of faith and marry him.

We've done some terrible things to each other, Mick.

Yeah, but that's love, ain't it? It's like a double-edged sword.

It cuts both ways.

DOOR OPENS

Oh. All right, Sharon? Shouldn't you be over at the hen night?

No, Linda sent her over here. Got a surprise prepared for her.

-Think she'll probably be ready for you now though, Sharon?

-Yeah, she probably is.

For better, for worse, huh?

-ALFIE:

-Beers up, fellas.

Ah, finally!

You smell of smoke.

Some bloke smoking outside the Minute Mart. Chain smoker.

-Must have stuck to my jacket, you know.

-What've you done?

Am I dealing you two in? Are we playing poker or not?

No. I am winning poker.

Well, your luck has got to change sometime, Alfie, eh?

Here is your matches, sir. Mick, here's yours as well, mate.

Hit me.

Don't make me hit you.

Oi. That's a bit weird, ain't it? Peter turning up.

Is it? Not really. He's my mate.

Oh? He just can't seem to take his eyes off you.

-There's nothing going on between you two, is there?

-No! Course there ain't!

All right! Keep your hair on.

Just since he turned up,

-the testosterone levels in there have gone critical.

-Really? Hadn't even noticed.

It's nothing to do with me.

All right. Thanks.

-Here. Iced tea.

-Thanks.

You two kissed and made up, right?

You had a fight?

No. Actually, Cora accused my dad of sleeping with a prostitute.

Nancy thought she was lying

and Lauren thought she was telling the truth.

Hilarity ensued.

It turns out it was Ian who was sleeping with the prostitute.

In retrospect, it was all a storm in a D cup.

-No?

-Iced tea? Have you got anything stronger?

-Uh, no. Sorry. Not in this house.

-What, nothing?

She's a recovering alcoholic, genius.

All right! Who took the jam out of your doughnut?

I'm just saying, I thought you'd be a bit more tactful.

She's supposed to be your girlfriend.

Tactful? Like you were with Lola?

-What happened there anyway?

-Nothing.

It must have been something. You were together, and now you're not.

It just didn't work out, all right? One of those things.

As long as you were tactful about it.

Can we all just stop talking about Peter's love life? Please.

We could talk about my love life but it'd be a very short discussion.

Very brief.

What's your favourite TV show?

(Top Gear.)

Top Gear, probably.

What's your favourite...position?

Left back?

-Come on, you know what I mean.

-Carol! That's disgusting!

No way! I wouldn't have thought you could stretch that far.

-Are we done here?

-No, no, no! We're just getting started.

Enjoying yourself?

Just playing the part. I'm getting married in a few days.

Supposedly.

Your hen's been gone ages. What do you think she's "preparing" for?

Smell like cold feet to you?

Or maybe she's cleaning out your bank account as we speak.

Here, Alf, while you was out, we was thinking dogs.

For Phil's stag.

You're joking. Not again? Why not just keep it simple,

and, you know, try and remember what he did in his last three marriages and do the opposite!

Anyway... I'm all in.

All right. I call.

Kamikazes.

I dunno, Alf, man. You're playing like...

-Like I've got nothing to lose?

-Yeah. And on that note, I'm out.

Too rich for my blood.

Pair of tens.

You think I'm bluffing, eh?

-No way! Jacks?!

-You went all in with a pair of jacks?

-Why would you risk that?

-Did the job, didn't it? Maybe my luck is changing! I dunno.

If we was playing for money, you'd have gone home with a couple of hundred quid. You know that, innit?

Well, they're the breaks, Fats. Them's the breaks.

Listen, I've got to make a quick phone call. Check Kat's... everything's all right.

I'm not doing very well.

-Who are you calling?

-Who do you think?

-You're not thinking straight.

-Mick, I don't need a lecture from you. All right?

-I'm just looking out for you.

Well, I don't need anyone - I don't need you looking out for me!

I don't need no-one looking out for me!

OK? Cos I've lost everything. No money, no job, no pub.

No dignity. So I'm not going to lose anything else.

-I'm going to report it in before it spreads.

-Use your brain!

How are you going to report a fire you ain't "discovered"? Now, listen to me.

Listen. I would never tell you how to be a dad,

a father or a husband. You make your own choices.

But you need to take a moment and think about it,

and then do whatever you've got to do.

Do you understand me?

Listen, sorry, fellas, I've got to call it a night. Kids are playing up, you know.

-Alfie, man. Come on, bro, just one?

-Come on!

No, no, no, I'll talk to you guys later.

PHONE BEEPS

You have one new message.

'Hey, darling, it's me.

'You're probably knee-deep in pink cocktails right now, aren't ya?

'Anyway, I hope you're having a blinding time. Thinking about you.

'And I love you, Kat. I love you.

'Bye.'

I'm going to get to that hen party. Mum might need me.

What? She's with a bunch of drunk hens, Johnny,

not a gang of marauding bouncers.

Sorry. I don't mean that.

I just mean she can handle herself, all right?

Oi, shall we not all go out properly?

Try that new club in Old Street or something?

Last time I went to a club, people kept handing me empty glasses

because they thought I was a waiter.

Dressed like that, I'm not surprised.

-Yeah, like you're an expert.

-PHONE BEEPS

Awesome. Right, you, let's go.

What? Where're we going?

Well, I've managed to get us on the guest list at this place in Dalston.

Just the two of us. Sorry.

What? We can't just leave these people in my house, can we?

It's fine. We'll let ourselves out.

Are you sure?

What're we going to do, then?

Pictionary?

CHATTING AND LAUGHTER

When can you escape?

What do you like Sharon to dress up as? A French maid...

or a nurse?

You could ask her yourself. Except she ain't here!

I am here.

Ta-da!

Where've you been?

PHONE RINGS

Kat? Hi, darling, listen, I'm...

just a bit busy at the moment.

-I got your message.

-Well, yeah, yeah. About that...

No, shut up and listen.

Whatever you're doing, drop it, come and meet me straightaway.

At the Vic? Nah - I'm not sure.

No, I'm not at the party. I'm at home. On the bed.

Lonely.

What do you mean, you're at home?

Whitney was having problems with Ernie so I just...

Hold on. Something's...

I'm going to have to call you back.

No! Kat! Stay where you are!

Just stay where you are, darling! Don't move!

KAT SCREAMS

Kat! Kat! I'm coming...

What the hell was that?

Phil!

There's a fire. Call 999.

-Get me a fire extinguisher and some blankets.

-Where is it?

-MUTED:

-Alfie!

-Alfie?

Alfie!

-Alfie! What's happened?

-Alfie?

-Fire.

Kat's in the fire!

You don't understand. The fire.

-Kat's in there. She's going to die. Kat!

-If you go in there, you're going to die too!

Alfie, where are the kids? Kat left the hen party. What if she took them with her?!

Oh, please, God! No, they can't, no.

No, Stace, the kids are with Whitney, go and check, please go and check! NOW! Check.

No. Alfie, no! No! Please don't go in there! Alfie!

Alfie!

Alfie!

Alfie!

Somebody help me!

-What are you doing?

-There could be people hurt.

-Alfie!

-Please! Somebody help!

-Alfie!

Alfie, he's in there! He's looking for Kat and the kids.

He's in there! Alfie!

SIREN APPROACHES

-Tamwar!

-Alfie!

No! No, no! Peter, no!

Johnny!

Stacey. Stacey, what's the matter? I heard sirens.

Is that Bert?

-Where's Ernie? Did Kat come and get him?

-Yeah, she did. But I'd already put him down.

He's asleep upstairs.

-Somebody help!

-What's happened?

What is it? Are people in there?

-What, Alfie's in there?

-Mick. Look, Johnny - Johnny...

-No, no, no, listen, Johnny's gone in, I couldn't stop him.

-What? Johnny!

-No, Mick, please don't go in there!

-Johnny! Johnny!

Johnny! What was you thinking?!

Downstairs is gutted. It's just blown to pieces.

-No-one's inside.

-What about upstairs?

Alfie went up. We couldn't pass.

No-one can.

SIRENS CONTINUE

Alfie.

Kat! Alfie! Someone help 'em!

-Alfie!

-Alfie! Kat! Someone help!

-Alfie!

I'll never let you go, Kat. I'll never let you go, Kat.

-Take her, take her!

-You've got to let her go.

I'll never let you go, Kat. I'll never let you go.

-Kat.

-Down, down.

-It's all right, it's all right, it's all right.

Alfie.

-MUTED:

-Alfie, the kids are fine. They're safe.

Alfie?

SIRENS

MUTED: She's safe now. She's all right.

She's all right.

We should make tea, hot drinks.

You know, let people know they can come here. Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'll just give Tracey a hand.

-Thank you.

-Johnny? What happened?

-He's all right. He's going to be fine.

-Don't worry.

-What do you mean, he's going to be fine?

-Why would he need to be fine? What did you do?

-I was helping.

-You helped? What do you mean?

-Nancy. You were with Tam, right? Is he OK?

-He went home. He was in a proper state.

-What were you thinking?

-What?

-They told me you ran into a burning building?!

-You idiot!

-I had to do something. There was people in there.

You could have died, Peter!

Don't you get that? I mean, I've already lost Lucy.

-It's all right. No harm done. He's all right.

-I'm sorry.

They've sealed off Dot's house, cos apparently there's structural damage or something, I dunno.

-Where is she? Where is Dot?

-No, it's all right. She's visiting my dad today.

-Well, what's she going to do? She can't stay in the house now.

-We've got enough room.

Hang on. I've got a spare bed. Charlie and Fats can take the sofa. It's fine.

-We can all pitch in.

-Thank you.

Cheers, Sharon.

How's Alfie?

Taken him to hospital. Mo and Stacey went with him.

-He's going to be fine.

-And Kat?

He got her out. She was breathing.

Reckon she's going to be OK?

I don't know. I just don't know.

ALFIE COUGHS

Kat - Kat Moon. I need... to know that...

I'll have someone find out for you.

But in the meantime I really need to sort out your hands. Look, please.

I...I need to see my wife!

KAT!

Alfie, Kat's alive. You saved her.

You're a hero, Alfie.

Mr Moon, please, I really need you to lie down. Please.

No! No, I need to see Kat. Kat! Kat!

Mr Moon, please!

Thank you.

What you did. It...it was so stupid.

And so brave.

Anyone would have done the same.

Right, come on, you. Let's get you upstairs. I'll bring this.

You're filthy.

You've got a big heart, Johnny.

Wonder where he gets that from?

Some hen party, eh?

Always something with us, ain't there? Poor Kat and Alfie.

Can't stop thinking about them.

It was an accident, Sharon. It was a fire.

Not an omen or something, is it?

Where'd you disappear to, anyway? From the party?

Linda said you was "preparing".

I was at home, I was wondering whether to pack a bag, grab Denny and just walk away.

Walk away? Why?

Because of us, Phil.

When me and you try to be together...

..nothing goes right. Ever. We always find a way to ruin things.

So what stopped you? Why'd you come back?

Because I love you.

And I can't imagine losing you.

I need to take you back to cubicles.

Please, we will find your wife, I promise. Look, please.

Look at me, we will find your wife...

Please, please, please! I need to know... Stop!

No, you really can't go in there. Please.

It's OK. It's her husband.

Kat.

The boys still all right with Whit?

Yeah, she said she'll have them for as long as we need.

Me at the Masoods'. You at Max's...

we're spread over half the Square.

I know.

Lily was up half the night crying. I can't keep uprooting her, Nan.

We'll all be together soon, though, won't we?

Yeah.

I was going to see if I could get in there but...

I'm sorry, love.

Well, did they manage to pull anything out?

-No.

-What, nothing at all?

-No.

I only had a few bits of Bradley's.

I had a few photos and an old shirt...

What are we meant to do now?

I'm Neil Wallace, the fire investigation officer.

You used to live at number 23?

Mr Moon?

I understand that you want to be with you wife

but you really should go home and get some sleep.

Go home?

Rest up, see your kids.

You'll be no good to Mrs Moon if you're tired.

Is she going to be all right?

You can be straight with me.

She's stable.

We're going to try and take her off the ventilator this morning.

You mean she's going to be awake?

Once the sedation's worn off, you'll finally be able to talk to her.

Thank you.

I wonder if anyone's heard anything.

Phil, are you all right, darling? You've barely said a word all morning.

I've just... I've got a bit on my mind, ain't I?

Like you said, Kat's at death's door

and my fiancee did a runner from her own hen do.

How many more times? It was a wobble. I'm over it.

Look, Phil, I love you.

And I would marry you right at this kitchen table if I could.

Let's go upstairs, eh?

PHONE RINGS

Phil, are you in hiding or something?

When you get this, call me.

You know, maybe you should try ringing Alfie again.

He's probably still up the hospital. We'll hear if there's any news.

Have you seen the house?

Everything's a proper write-off - they're not going to have no clothes, no nappies, nothing.

Poor things. All their favourite toys - the little ones aren't going to understand.

Do you know what I think I'll do is just ask round, see if anyone's got anything they can spare.

Well, I might have some clothes I don't need any more.

I suppose they'll need some old rags to help with the clean-up.

What about you - interested in helping at all?

I'll do my bit when I'm ready so get off my case, all right?

Someone got out of the wrong side of the coffin this morning.

Morning.

Here he is, the hero of the hour.

-Mum, stop it, don't.

-Leave him alone, L.

Here's your favourite.

And as soon as the chemist opens,

I'll be straight there to get some cream for them burns.

And just promise me

that you'll never, ever do anything like that ever again.

Well, hopefully I won't have to. You had any news on Kat?

I just hope she knows that we're all thinking of her.

-And Alfie and all.

-Alfie's a big boy. He can look after himself.

All right? Tosh is just taking a call.

I hope you don't mind us being here. It's just nice to be together at a time like this.

Where's this come from? Number 23?

-Dad!

-Shut your mouth - have a bit of respect.

Any news on Kat?

As soon as I hear anything, I'll let you know.

-We have to go.

-We only just got here.

-All, right, fine. I'll go then.

-What's the matter with Stroppy?

I dunno. She's been a right nightmare the last few days.

Hormones, probably. I suppose I better get used to it.

How are you doing, Alfie?

I'll be all right.

I know this is a horrible time, but you know, everyone's asking.

Everyone's asking about Kat.

Yeah, um...

she's out of surgery. But she's still on a ventilator.

Have you got somewhere to stay?

I'll get something sorted.

Cos Stacey's staying at Max's and -

thanks for letting Mo crash at yours, by the way.

Oh, no, she can stay as long as she likes.

With a bit of rearranging, there's room for you and the kids.

I'll throw in a bit of Pakistani cuisine...on-site baby-sitter.

Tell me you wouldn't do the same.

Thank you.

You've been a proper little whirlwind this morning. I should pay you double time.

I just want to make sure everything's up to speed before I dash off.

-Speaking of which...

-Oh, darling, you wouldn't just bring in that

-pallet of bleach before you go, will you?

-I'd love to but I really don't want to be late.

-Really?

Most people want to avoid going to the dentist.

You've been on pins since you got here. Sure it's not a hot date that you're rushing off to?

-As if.

-Well, don't just stand there, darling - go on.

-Go and get your fillings done.

-Right, I'm out of here! Wish me luck!

For the dentist?

Alfie, you all right?

Hi, sweetheart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How is she doing?

Well, yeah... They're hoping she'll be off the ventilator soon.

-I'll go and make a cup of tea.

-Thank you.

We've just been over the house...

-SOBBING:

-There's nothing left, Alfie. The whole place - gutted.

I know, Mo, I've seen it. I know, I've seen it, I've seen it.

I won't be a minute.

Have you spoke to the fire investigator?

-Yeah, they want to speak to you and all.

-All right.

-I keep thinking that I left the straighteners on. What if I set the house on fire?

-I know.

Alfie, you look terrible.

You should get your head down for a minute.

No, no, no, no, no...

I've got to sort out some things, you know, for Kat. A nightie or something...

I don't know if they're going to let you take things like that in.

Stace, I've got to do something. I've got to do something.

-All right, Sharon?

-Hi.

I know. Feels like a million years ago now, doesn't it?

I saw Masood before.

He said Kat's still on a ventilator, not out the woods yet.

I know it's selfish but I keep picturing my Johnny...

Oh, you mustn't torture yourself, Linda.

All we can do for Kat now is hope.

-And donate whatever clothes and toys you can do without.

-Yeah, yeah, of course I will.

Look, I know it's not important after what's happened

but I just want to say thank you so much for last night.

And I'm sorry I caused such a headache.

As long as you're all right, then so am I.

You are all right?

I am now your Mick's talked some sense into me.

Well, we've got Australia booked for the honeymoon.

I'm dying to see Vicki, but what with the cost, you know,

we're talking once in a lifetime, so - got to make the most of it.

And if yesterday taught me anything, it's that you've got to

cling on to the people you love, don't you?

We were just...

I've just come to get the last of my stuff.

Leave your key on the table.

Jay, you shouldn't leave without making things right between you.

You know, we can stay till after the wedding if you like.

I'll think about it.

Come on, let's go.

-Left it in the Vic.

-Oh, nice one. You want a cup of tea?

Ain't you got nothing stronger?

It's not even 12 yet.

Is this to do with yesterday?

Well, it's shaken everyone up. And I've got a lot of time for Kat.

I was talking about the hen party.

They are going to get married, Shirl.

And you will have to see them, you know, round the Square, in the Vic...

You could do loads better than Phil -

-it's not like he made you happy most of the time, anyway, is it?

-It's not that simple.

Well, I know it's not, but you got to try.

I mean, if bald, fat alkies are your type,

there's plenty of them going begging.

Has she gone?

Are you all right? You look...

I had my period.

I knew there was something wrong earlier. Why didn't you say?

I just thought I could pretend it wasn't happening but I can't.

Can only confirm that I lost the baby.

I'm really sorry.

I thought if I didn't say anything, then it wouldn't feel real.

But it does, T, it feels so real.

-See you later.

-Thank you very much.

-Bye now.

Take whatever you want. How's Kat?

I don't need your charity, thanks.

Look... If there's anything... If I can help...

Mr Moon? One of the market traders pointed you out.

Mind if I have a word?

Oh, thank you. That's brilliant, thank you so much.

I shoved in a couple of old Y-fronts. Clean, of course.

-You're a unique human being, Stan.

-I know.

-Can you text Alfie, get him here in about half an hour?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Hey, I just brought some of Kamil's toys and things.

-Oh, amazing, thank you!

-Some of the traders wanted to donate as well, so...

-Oh, that's great, thanks.

-Nice one.

Oi, are you OK after yesterday?

I don't know if I've done something wrong.

It seems like he's got a problem with me.

Um...well, it's a bit more complicated than that.

Hi. Shabnam Masood here for my interview.

Now, take your time.

There's absolutely no rush.

It just happened so quick, you know. The place went up and then I realised...

..Kat was inside...

And I didn't think, I just ran.

PHONE RINGS

-Go ahead.

-Thank you.

Hello, Alfie Moon.

Oh, that's great news, thank you.

OK, well, I'll be there as soon as I can.

Well, I don't know just yet.

OK. Thank you, thank you...

Bye-bye.

It's my wife.

She's off the ventilator and she's asked to see me.

Well, if you need to go...

No, no, no. Get this out the way, yeah?

Did the explosion happen after the fire had already taken hold?

I don't know - you tell me. There was just flames...

Excuse me...

Any problems with any electrical appliances in the last few days?

No surges, tripped fuses?

I don't know - may have been but I can't swear...

And was the house fitted with smoke alarms?

I was supposed... I was supposed to change the batteries.

I forgot.

It just must have slipped my mind, you know?

I think we can leave it there for now.

For what it's worth, Mr Moon,

your bravery probably saved your wife's life.

We always say wait for the fire service but...

Well, she's a lucky woman.

I want to talk to you.

-Well, we can't go into mine. Sharon's due back any minute.

-Trust me - you need to hear this.

-Hey, Shabnam!

-Hey.

How'd it go?

Oh! They offered me the job!

Oh, fantastic!

Well done!

-I could make a real go of this, Dad.

-You should phone your mum, you know.

-She's going to be unbearable about this.

-Yes, she is.

But there's... There's someone you should probably tell first?

Yeah. Goodbye, Minute Mart!

What's the matter with your face?

Tosh has lost the baby. It was early days but....

-I'm sorry.

-Can I tell you something terrible?

You're relieved, ain't you?

What kind of person is glad their girlfriend ain't pregnant any more?

Listen, you can't have a baby if one of you ain't sure, trust me.

-Hello? Denise? The back door was open...

-Yeah, yeah, hang on!

Yeah, I just...

I got a bit behind with the cleaning - everything's fine, though.

So you don't need to go running back to Dean or anything.

So what can I do for you?

I just...

I wanted to check - am I on the early shift tomorrow?

Absolutely. So don't be late.

Oh, did Linda call you and all?

Here they are - bit of quiet, everyone!

If you'll all raise your glasses, to Kat. Our love and prayers.

And to Alfie, our hero!

Kat and Alfie!

People are beginning to notice that Phil Mitchell is being led by his nose.

-What you on about?

-You're all over some gold-digging trollop,

and in the meantime I'm being ignored.

-You need to get your priorities straight.

-Who do you think you're talking to?

Don't come running to me when she takes you for all you're worth.

Cos I might not be there then.

DOOR OPENS

-SHARON:

-It's only me!

Hey. Did I just hear someone?

-It's Jay. He's just picking up some stuff.

-Oh, right. Sorry...

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Oh, hi, thanks for getting back to me.

Yeah, I was wondering if there were any upgrades available for our flights.

Yeah, we want to treat ourselves.

Aww, Tommy'll go nuts for this. He loves his stuffed animals.

We know it won't replace the stuff you'll really miss but...

Thank you so much. We're so grateful, ain't we, Alfie?

How's this...

Oh, they ran in after you to try and help.

Thank you.

-I didn't know.

-We just wanted to say we're sorry. That we couldn't do any more.

Excuse me!

For Kat.

Courtesy of the Bridge Street traders with a few extra thrown in from Pam.

-Thank you.

-Aww, they're lovely. Thank you.

Thanks.

Hey, so Dot and Fats and Charlie - they all said to send their love.

And they would have contributed but Dot can't get back into her house, so...

-You're putting them all up at yours?

-Yeah. Yeah, it's a bit cramped but there's been no arguments yet.

Do they know what started the fire yet?

Couple from my old estate, nice as pie they were.

One day he comes back and starts spraying petrol all over the place.

-Turns out she was having an affair.

-Stan!

I'm just saying, they worked it all out.

-Amazing what you can find out from a couple of pieces of charcoal.

-So, how's Kat?

Yeah, yeah, she's getting there.

They've taken her off the ventilator and they've said that she'll

be able to have visitors in a few hours - I can't wait to see her.

See, that's brilliant. I told you, I told you...

-I said everything's going to be OK, didn't I?

-What, you think that's OK, do you?

-She's lying in hospital with tubes down her throat, covered in burns...

-That's not what she meant, Alfie.

And you think - what, some poxy nightdress and some hand-me-downs are going to make it better?

I'm sorry.

Do you know, last night, I sat there staring at her - her whole body

was just covered in burns and there was nothing, nothing I could do.

So how can I tell her that everything's going to be all right

when I know it ain't going to be all right?

Show's over, eh?

Let's have a little breather. Come upstairs, come on.

-Hey.

-Hey.

-How'd it go?

-The pharmacy called.

-They thought better of the offer, and they've given it to someone else.

-What?!

They can't do that - they made that offer in good faith.

-We'll go down there right now...

-No, no, Dad!

I'm not a child. I don't need you fighting my battles for me!

They changed their minds awfully quick.

-I mean, that's a bit strange, don't you think?

-I don't know, Dad. It wasn't my decision.

I can't hack it, people downstairs thinking I'm some kind of hero.

When it was me that started it.

Did you mean for Kat to get hurt?

-Of course not!

-Right, so therefore it was an accident.

We have to put this behind us.

And you need to go down that hospital

and you need to hold on to Kat's hand.

They called me and they told me she's off the ventilator and that she wants to see me.

I can't look at her.

-I can't look at her.

-She's Kat. Your Kat.

And you promised to look at her every single day,

and nothing's changed.

And on top of everything, I've lied to her. I could have...

..killed her. I could have killed our kids...

And what good is the truth going to do for her now?

She needs you to be strong.

Trust me.

I can't do this any more.

I can't - I can't live like this.

I'm going to have to tell her.

Alfie!

Don't do anything stupid.

Hey. How was your bath?

Good. Sorry I was so teary before.

Don't be silly.

Look, this is awful, but we'll get through it, yeah?

I mean, things could be worse - look at what Alfie's going through.

-At least we've still got each other, yeah?

-Yeah...

Tonight it's just you and me, a bottle of wine, a DVD.

Let's have a proper snuggle-up.

Well, I suppose we should take advantage of it while we still can.

Soon be back to sobriety and early nights again.

With a few dirty nappies thrown in, hopefully.

-What?

-I called my boss and I've asked for some more extra shifts.

Making babies ain't cheap but we'll get there.

You want to give it another shot?

I'm not giving up on us having a family.

Not by a long stretch.

Can't wait.

You made it.

You call, I come running. That's how it works.

Shirl, I called because I want to see you.

It's you I want, Shirley. You, not her.

CLICK

What was that?

He looks like a really nice man.

Yeah, he was. Inside and out.

You look like you haven't had much sleep.

We can make room for you here if it's tricky at Max's.

No, no, it's not that.

It's just that every time I shut my eyes, all I can see is Alfie and Kat...

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yes, speaking.

-Here you go.

-Oh, thank you.

You know how grateful we are for all this?

You might want to buy some more shower gel, only I went all out.

Oh, and by the way, the toothpaste is running low and all.

If you'll excuse me, I think I need to go and inhale some ice cream...

Nan, that was the fire investigations officer.

They said that the explosion was caused by an accelerant.

That hairspray you had...

Alfie.

The kids...

The kids are fine. They're being looked after.

We're just worried about you.

How are you? Are you in pain?

Not so bad any more.

Kat - there's, um...

there's something I got to tell you...