20/10/2013 EastEnders Omnibus

You didn't have to do all of this!

Did he? Clever Alfie.

Well, listen, I'm going to go, darling.

I love you. Give me a big kiss and a cuddle.

See you later.

They having a good time?

Sounds like it. She said yesterday Roxy was, er...

Thanks for my breakfast.

Morning. Morning.

Is this the bit where you tell me I'm just a stupid little girl,

and it meant nothing?

I haven't forgotten what you said last time.

What did I say? Go on.

That it was quick, easy, forgettable sex.

You laughed at me.

All lies.

If I... If I could change...

..that, I would.

I was disgusting.

But things will be different now.

So let me tell Tamwar. Let me tell him it's over.

I'm not going to lie to him.

KEYS RATTLE Let me tell Janine. No.

You seen my money belt?

Yeah, it's here.

You all right? Yeah.

Alice... FRONT DOOR CLOSES

..you and me - it's wrong.

I knew it! No! I'm not finished.

It feels wrong, but I just can't keep away from you.

You're the only one who gets me.

You're the only one who ever did.

That's why it's so important...

that we keep everything as normal.

Why? Because Janine would go ballistic. You would lose your job.

I don't care! I care!

I care because Scarlett would get taken away.

Don't you see what I'm saying to you?

Then WE couldn't be a family. The three of us.

Yeah. That's it.

That's it.

(You're so beautiful.)

And if...

And if you want it as much as I do -

and I hope you do... I do.

You do? I do.

Then I need you...

..to be my emissary. To stay in there.

Yeah?

(Don't breathe a word.

(To anyone.)

OK. OK.

RONNIE SIGHS

You OK? Mm-hm.

Yeah, it's just, er...

You know - Phil and Roxy.

You know what?

I'm going to throw you a little flat-warming party tonight.

Jack, I don't... No, come on. Celebrate you moving back in.

If we're going to start a life together... I just think we should do it later. No.

We're going to do it tonight. Here. All of them.

Phil? ALL of 'em.

Don't worry, all right? I'll shift the lot.

And make up the money we lost.

You better had.

Guest for you. He's not just a guest, is he?

So...what are we doing?

You look nice. Thank you.

It's my day off, and...

you've got a couple of weeks' leave - I thought maybe we could...

Yeah. I, er...

HE CLEARS THROAT Syed called.

Oh, no, no - it's nothing serious. It's... So, what?

Well, Christian's got a chance for some work over in Gran Canaria... Masood!

Amira's on holiday, and Syed's going to be on his own with Yasmin.

But I was looking forward to spending time together.

I know. Me too, it's just, you know what it's like with kids and grandchildren. Yeah, I know.

I get to spend Eid with Yasmin. Eh? Hmm, OK.

And I thought... Bianca'll be back tomorrow.

Bring you back a present. Ooh, souvenir from Birmingham! Can't wait(!)

It was just a complication.

I thought it would be straightforward.

Usually is, in most cases.

Look...

they're weaning him off the anaesthetic, so...

he should wake up later on this afternoon.

Come and see him.

I-I'm...

I'm tired.

In a bit, then, yeah?

Yeah. In a bit.

All right?

What do you want now? Room service?

I was only going to ask if you fancied some lunch. I can make my own lunch, thanks,

like you can wash your own smalls.

Has something happened, Carol? What about your big day out?

Yeah, Masood's going away. Oh. Got a little bit on the side, has he?

No, he's going to stay with his son, who lives with his husband near their daughter in Birmingham.

Very modern. Yeah, he is. Even washes his own socks.

Don't worry, Carol. I'll look after you while he's away.

Yeah, well, you won't have to. Bianca's back tomorrow and you'll be gone.

That's not mine.

Yeah, but what if he don't? So long as they've managed to stop the bleeding. What are you, a doctor?

Right. Listen, we're having a family dinner over at mine.

About half past five, yeah? You're having a laugh, ain't you?

Just to celebrate me and Ronnie being back together and stuff.

Our mate is in hospital - might not live - and you want a party?

There's been complications, Jack.

Right, I'm sorry. Didn't know that. Well, now you do know.

Well, moments like this make you realise how important family really is.

I don't think Phil'd be too happy about it. Don't worry about him, he'll be there.

All right. All right, we'll come over. Pops!

Come on. It's important to Ronnie.

Nice one.

You can always go and see Dex later, can't you?

Hey, babe. Are you... Are you OK?

Yeah, I am. I just heard about Dexter.

Oh, yeah, man, it's deep, innit?

Puts everything in perspective, don't it?

What you been doing with the oil - drinking it? Yes, Ian(!)

Hey, Mr Chef Man. I was wondering -

can I put up one of my posters, please?

I hope you know what you're doing.

Did you have another nice day off?

Yeah, it was lovely. Do anything special?

No. You know - just stuff.

You know...

I really didn't want to get this injunction but...

he's a monster.

It's OK. I understand.

I don't want him anywhere near her.

Janine, it's OK. She needs changing.

I was wondering. Me and Ronnie - we were hoping...

Well, Jay's already told me. The answer's no.

This is important for Ron. Then why ain't she the one asking me?

All right, it's important for both of us.

The word was "no". Just an hour, all right? Half hour tops.

Now you're begging me. Is this a joke or what? This is family.

Your brother tries to kill me, and I'm supposed to play "pass the salt" or something?

Phil, this is family, all right? What would your mum say?

Well, she'd probably say Ronnie was off her rocker, but, well, Billy and Jay want to go.

We've had enough misery as it is.

So? Take in some orphans, feed some stray cats or something.

You owe her. You don't get to tell me what to do.

She's been looking out for you. I told you - I ain't coming.

Looking out for you. Looking out for your business. She don't deserve this.

All right? How you doing?

When's your dad back?

Got back yesterday.

Why? You want to give him a message?

Nah. Nah, nah, it's all right. I'm sure I'll bump into him soon.

I cleaned the sheets and I ironed them, and...

I'm really sorry. Janine didn't get back till half three in the morning.

I thought you weren't working last night.

Yeah. She just, er, sprung it on me last minute.

Yeah, no please, no thank you.

3.30 in the morning.

And then my phone's battery died and so, er...

I'm really sorry, Tam.

It's all right.

Dad's going away for two weeks,

so I was wondering if you wanted to come and stay.

Like, ACTUALLY stay this time.

Er...yeah. If I'm free, then yeah.

Good. Cos before you know it, we'll have stopped having sex.

We'll start arguing before breakfast, doing that passive-aggressive thing about,

you know, who does the washing up and then file for divorce.

It's a joke. It's not a funny one, but...

Distance.

Yeah, he really creeps me out.

Yeah, Michael is weird.

Anyway, er, laters.

Tam...

I'm really sorry.

If I hadn't come back to find you...

This isn't your fault.

..our son wouldn't be lying there.

Well, you did come back. And he is lying there.

And he needs you.

This is incredible.

Only a few bits and pieces.

So, Carol and the kids coming?

Carol - she's actually a bit busy.

And Dot - she's got to go and see my dad.

And what about Phil?

HE SIGHS

DOORBELL RINGS

Go on.

Jack...

thanks for this.

Thanks for everything.

Come in.

All right, Jack. How you doing?

Hey, Ron. Hey, Billy, you all right?

Yeah, good. You? Good, yeah.

Jay said that it would be OK to...

Yeah. Yeah, course it's OK.

How's your friend? Dexter, isn't it? Is he all right?

No, he's still unconscious. Oh, sorry.

Phil not here yet? He's, er... He's busy.

But I thought... You thought what?

Yeah, all right, darling.

OK. Take care. Enjoy.

What did she say?

Er...Bianca's going to stay up there a bit longer.

So that means you can stay a bit longer, then! Liam!

David might have things to do. No, nothing that can't be changed.

Well, it might be for a few weeks.

That long?

You know what? Maybe you should go away and come back nearer the time.

Carol, I've come all this way to see her - another few weeks ain't going to hurt, is it? Yeah!

D'you know what? I think it'd be for the best if you...

If you went, actually.

Look, if it's a problem... A problem?

Yeah, me being in the house, with Masood away.

Don't flatter yourself.

Well, if you're uncomfortable with it...

Why would it be a problem? You said yourself if would be best...

Why would I be uncomfortable?

Carol, I can always go to a B You know that.

I was just saying it cos I think it's a bit crowded.

Crowded! Having you around doesn't bother me a bit.

Good. Good.

Come on, boys.

Cos I like it.

So...how's the car lot doing?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's fine, yeah.

You want to check the brakes on them motors.

HE SIGHS

You tried the sausages, Jay?

No, I ain't hungry.

Billy, Lola said you'd joined the football team.

Yeah, well, they've asked me, so...

Might as well ask Dot to play.

Nah, Pops is doing really well, aren't you?

I do my best. Yeah, and you got a sponsor and everything.

Two!

I said R would throw in a few quid. Have you, now?

Alfie said he'd sponsor us as well. Did he say that before he went AWOL with Roxy,

or did he put it on a postcard?

Abi, you heard anything from your dad?

Er, no. No, not for a while.

You better get used to visiting rooms.

Well, that was uncalled for, wasn't it? He didn't mean it.

Didn't I?

Let me get you a plate.

Proper little housewife, ain't you?

Drink, anyone? BILLY: Yeah, go on, I'll have one.

There you go, mate. Thank you. Cheers.

Good trip?

Er...yeah.

Not avoiding me, are you?

No.

No, course not.

Peter!

Carl.

We were...just catching up.

You going to see, er, Dexter in hospital?

Well...if you don't need me.

Evening shift?

We can have this catch-up another time, yeah?

Soon.

Come on, you go see Dexter. And get the others, yeah?

Two weeks away - I'm going to miss you.

Yeah, I'm going to miss you too. But I've promised Syed.

I know. I know. It's just that, you know, two weeks.

Seems a shame to spend it apart.

Well, I could...

I could tell him to find someone else. It was short notice.

No, no, no. No, I'm not saying that.

I was talking to Whitney and, er...

if it's all right with you, I... I could come with you to Birmingham.

Save you buying me a present.

Yeah?

Come to Granddad. Come on. No, it's all right. Auntie Ronnie's got her, haven't you?

Good girl.

Good girl. Be good.

Go, go.

That's my locket.

That's mine. That's all mine.

Where's it gone?

There it is, there it is. Ooh!

Meant to be meeting Alice.

She's probably just doing make-up or something.

You know, girl stuff.

Dexter is going to pull through, babe. Is he?

Yeah. You know...

they say you don't know what you love till you've lost it.

And "seize the day" and all that.

Miss Teen Vic?

A great idea, isn't it? I mean, your man here...

No, sorry, he... He's not my man.

Wait, all right? We ran out of beer, OK,

so we needed an idea to get back all that money I lost.

What? What, by holding a cattle market? It's not like that!

You scouting out new girlfriends, are you, Arthur?

Cos, you know, women are just objects, aren't they?

To think that me and you... That I...

Yeah, well. Whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe that wasn't the moment to seize.

Oh! And you're so lucky, are you, eh? You and Alice, eh?

All so simple, is it?

NEWS PLAYS ON TV

FRONT DOOR CLOSES

She's all bathed and tucked up in bed. Ooh!

Proper little Mary Poppins.

Same time tomorrow? Er...

Has HE tried to see her at all?

Michael? No. Yeah, but I saw you trying to avoid him.

Yeah, he's keeping his distance.

If I hadn't come along at that time... He hasn't been near her.

He's not a bad person.

Well, you don't know him.

Well, he's a good father.

JANINE CHUCKLES

Oh, deary me! Very sweet little innocent Alice, eh?

Y-You've just got him all wrong.

I don't think so.

You don't understand him.

No, YOU don't understand him, actually.

You don't understand the way he thinks,

how he tries to get inside of your head...

I'm sorry, what's so funny? ALICE CHUCKLES

I get him more than you do.

Alice, you might find this amusing, but I'm sorry, you're a child, OK?

You're a very sweet, innocent, slightly pathetic, child.

Really? Is that why he slept with me?

Ugh!

More trusting than I thought.

That's what all this is about.

No. You know that, don't you?

That he's sleeping with you...

so that he can get his hands on the baby?

No! It's not that. It was a long time ago,

it was only once and you two weren't together.

It's not even the point. All I was saying is that he's not a bad person.

I'm afraid you can't all come in here. We just want to see if he's all right.

It's only two at a time, darling.

How's he doing? Just ten minutes.

I'm sorry. What about five minutes? I'm sorry.

DEXTER: Will you lot keep the noise down?

S-Some of us are trying to sleep in here, you know.

Hey, baby.

I've said goodbye to Tiff - she's having a shower.

Liam's going to sort out all the... Stop it, I'll be fine. Honestly.

Just go. Jack's only next door. I've done this before, you know.

I've had all the training. Ian is going to kill me!

Look, don't worry.

He'll have to get through me first, won't he? Aww!

Have you said goodbye to Granddad?

Just go. You deserve it.

For Yasmin. It'll give her super-powers.

Climb buildings and see through walls.

Have a good trip. Don't you worry - I'll look after Carol.

Oh, didn't she tell you? She's coming too.

You nearly...

Weren't no "nearly" about it.

You're OK.

You're going to be OK.

Yeah. You too?

Thank you.

All of this...

..for me.

It's all right. It weren't all that bad.

I mean, did you see my nurse?

She was a buffy, Dad.

When were you going to tell me?

Send me a postcard or something?

It's none of your business.

Why leave it to the last minute to let me find out?

I didn't... I didn't think that you'd have to be...

Carol, I hope you're not going because of me.

Because as I said earlier, I can just leave.

David, you know what? Please do not flatter yourself.

Right, well, I'll stay and look after the kids until Bianca gets back.

Whitney, she can manage.

Anyway, you... You'll probably be gone by the time I get back.

Yeah, I'll stay and say hello to Bianca and then...

I'll get out of everyone's hair.

Bye, then. Bye.

Are you really going soon?

I ain't going anywhere.

Sweet.

For you. Thanks, darling.

Have you been crying?

I lost my job.

Why?

Janine just lost it with me.

I've ruined everything.

The three of us being a family and...

No.

No, no, no, no.

Poor Alice.

I'm sorry. Careful.

Careful. Someone might walk in. Secret, yeah?

Remember?

Do you want to go upstairs? Yeah. But...

..we need to be cautious.

I think you need to unwind.

You need a bit of you time.

Why don't you go and run me a nice bath?

You angry at me? No.

OK. OK.

Just...

Just mildly disappointed - that's all.

Well, come on then, bath time for you.

Right, well, er...

thanks for everything. Thanks for coming, Billy.

See you later, Billy. See you.

Yeah, well, I'd better be off an' all.

Yeah, cheers, Phil.

Yeah, thank you for coming. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, well, it's going to take a lot more than a family meal to sort your problems out.

Don't you dare.

You got something to say, why don't you just say it?

The pair of you is mental. Phil, you've got no right. You're a disaster zone, ain't you?

You reckon we'll come to you for relationship advice?

Have you forgotten what happened last time? How many wives have you had?

Not to mention those who got away. You can't turn the clock back and pretend none of that happened.

No-one's trying to turn anything back. That's what today was about. You playing happy families.

No, we just wanted everyone to stop fighting!

Oh, really? Well, his brother tried to kill me, so excuse me if I don't join in.

If he wanted to kill you, he'd have made a better job of it. Jack!

All over you now, ain't he? Where was he last time you needed him, when you was inside?

I didn't want him. Left you to rot! That's what he did.

You left her to rot! It weren't like that. Listen!

I wanted him to leave me alone. Hang on a minute - where were you? I didn't want anyone.

You're her own cousin. You abandoned her.

No, he didn't. Yes, he did.

Just like he abandoned that psycho son of his! Jack!

If you're back with him...

I don't want you anywhere near me.

Or none of my businesses. Do you understand me? Phil, please don't make me choose.

Family. That's what today was all about, weren't it, Ronnie? You know what? Get out.

Well, you only get one family in life.

To cover your back. To stick with you through thick and thin.

Jack's my family now.

I'm sorry.

(I'm sorry.)

Please, you need to send a plumber round.

Well, last time, Bianca got someone in herself.

You NEED to tell Carol that she's behind on the rent.

Maybe then we can talk taps.

No Alice today?

Nope. No Alice today, nor tomorrow. Nor any day.

She's made her bed and she can lie in it.

DOOR SLAMS SHUT

You got me there? I've got you. Cheers.

Erm, you can't actually attach anything to the lamppost.

Come on, Tam. You know, give a brother a break, yeah. Please.

SUCKS HIS TEETH

Hey, Phil.

You don't need him.

I know, I've got you, haven't I? Yeah and it don't matter what anyone else says.

All right, it's just you and me against the world.

D'you want a hand to the car lot? Nah, you're all right.

See you at lunch, yeah. OK.

See you later. See you later.

So, yeah, just trying to make back some of that money I lost.

Yeah, good luck with that. Thanks, bro.

That's ageist, that is. Kimmy.

You trying to say I'm not beautiful because I'm a little bit older?

I never said that you was old! She's got a point though.

Lauren, babe, you're supposed to be my friend, all right? Come on now...

Listen, it isn't ageist, OK? I mean, it's in the name, innit?

Miss "Teen" Vic.

You've got to be a teen to be Miss Teen Vic, you know.

It's like a dog racing in the horse race, innit? You know.

You hear that?

I ain't calling you no dog, but... Rubbish!

What, is everyone ganging up on me now? Kimberly Fox?

Yes. The very young Kimberly Fox at your service.

Mrs Branning said look for the loudest thing on the market.

You dealing with the bins?

Yes, I am - the council are proving very difficult to pin down.

We need a meeting. Get all the local business owners together.

Yes, I'm on it. Soon. OK? Yeah. Yeah.

Ageist. And sexist. Mm-hmm.

I'm going to take you to a tribunal.

Hey, babe.

Listen, why don't you come down to the Vic later, all right?

I'll show you it's all a bit of silliness.

I might even buy you a drink.

OK.

Any good? No, this one's too big.

OK, use that one. Give it a good... Oi! Carol left me in charge.

But we were hungry. And you'd gone to see Janine.

I'm trying to sort the tap out, Liam! OK?

Yeah, give it a go now.

There you are.

Yeah, you're right, Whitney. Carol left you in charge.

So, you see, that nice big red column there,

that's how many properties I've let this week.

Little boys with little toys.

And this little blue one - that's how many you've let, Lucy.

You know, I used to run three businesses.

And you pushed a pen at a bank, so...

Hi, Janine, I was just wondering would it be OK to put

one of these lovely posters up in your beautiful window?

No.

Oh, OK. Miss Teen Vic?

Yeah. Yeah, look. It's going to be jokes, so... No!

Fine. OK. Great.

Standing in a pub, letting you letch? Don't think so.

Forgot you don't like competition, do you, Luce?

If you're after a property

then I suggest you speak to one of the monkeys.

Actually, I just came to see how Scarlett's doing.

Send you round, did he?

No. I just thought maybe if you were finding it difficult

then I could take her for a few hours.

Oh, what - like a nanny?

I've got nothing else on, so...

Maybe you shouldn't sleep with your employer's husband.

I just thought... You've chosen your side. So go.

Listen, I didn't mean to tread on anyone's toes earlier.

You didn't. Here you are.

You don't like me very much, do you? I don't even know you.

Well, let's start again, then.

I know how upset Bianca was when you walked off last time.

That's why I've come back, Whitney.

You broke Carol's heart.

Do you know what?

If you ask me, I think she had a lucky escape.

Are you sure you don't want a coffee?

You go. I'll be fine.

Joey's taking care of the car lot today.

Is that our only source of income?

Today is just about you and me having fun.

Uncle Jack...

You all right, Abs? We're just on our way out.

The thing is, Phil's in a right mood.

And Janine's got Pops running errands so...

And we wanted to go and see Dexter again. How's he doing?

Yeah, he's good. But he'll be even better with

me and you going to cheer him up, won't he?

Uncle Jack, please will you take Lexi?

Oh, Abs, any other day...

Please, Jack, it'll be for half an hour. That's it.

And, Ronnie, you're so good with her.

Or an hour. Like two, tops. Yeah, just two.

THE GIRLS GIGGLE

I've said that I will be there, and I will.

No, no, no, your business is very, very important to me.

Distance.

I will be at the meeting!

Coffee. Now.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Hi. I needed to talk to you.

But shouldn't you be knee deep in nappies?

Yeah, I lost my job. Why?

It's a long story.

Well, I'm sure she'll change her mind. I need your help.

I need you to convince Poppy to come to this Miss Teen Vic thing.

She said it's demeaning to women.

It's not...

It probably is. It is.

But Fatboy's big long face is demeaning to humanity.

Please? For me?

All right? Hope you're treating her like a lady.

Why wouldn't I be?

Come on. Let's go and match-make.

I've been looking for you. I saw you coming out of Janine's.

Yeah, she nearly bit my head off. She's sacked Alice.

Yeah. Why? I dunno, I'm really worried about her.

Of course you are.

Come on, don't be that way. I am. I know I can speak frankly with you.

She's clearly not coping in there. She refuses any help from me.

She's thrown Alice out for no reason.

That don't give her the right to go round taking it out

on other people, does it?

No.

I'm going to be dropping some big tunes, all right!

Get this place jumping.

And then all those drinks will just fly away!

HE RINGS BELL

Yes, my dear?

Give you 10% if I win.

That's not very fair.

OK, 25%.

That's not what I meant.

50%. Final offer.

That's my dress!

Are you going to put that spoon in the right way?

Lola said she picks the spoon up but she doesn't know what to do with it!

Trying to feed herself now though, isn't she?

RONNIE LAUGHS

Do you want to put some food on the end of that spoon?

Ron...

Do you ever think about you and me?

You know, having a family?

Come on, tell me you don't think about it.

SHE SIGHS

I think we should take one day at a time.

I'm just saying - you know, you and me.

We're good together, aren't we? We're good at this.

It don't have to be straightaway. Just saying one day. Maybe?

Maybe.

Who's this one, eh?

Shall I sign you up then? I'd rather die.

I would if I was your age. I thought you were skint?

What, so I should just start selling myself?

Come on, Fatboy's your mate. Yeah, well, I'm here, aren't I?

Drinking alone?

My other half's working late.

That's a shame, I've been looking forward to meeting her.

Really looking forward to meeting her.

Can't believe you haven't got the guts to enter.

You know I've had T-shirts printed and everything.

Really? Cos I would have thought make-up

and dresses were more your sort of thing.

I would have lent you something

if someone hadn't let my little sister steal it.

Trust me.

I'm not sure, darling.

It's the perfect way to show him you don't care.

See, I told you she'd come!

Now she can see me on stage, cracking jokes -

all the audience laughing and that...

There's only one contestant.

It's going to be over in, like, two minutes!

That means no audience, no jokes and no-no-no money.

You've still got to pay the prize.

What? So I end up with less than no money!

And never get the girl!

POPPY AND ALICE LAUGH

I love you.

Me too.

HE CHUCKLES Thank you.

All right, Phillip? Did you have a nice family dinner?

Michael. All right?

Been a while.

Yeah. All right, David.

I bet you thought you'd never see me again.

After yours and Derek's little games.

I don't follow you.

But you followed him though, didn't you?

Like a little lost puppy dog. Very good.

FATBOY: One-two.

TAPS MICROPHONE One-two.

Welcome to Miss Teen Vic.

Ageist!

All right? How's Dexter? Yeah. Doing fine.

So some people...er...may believe that this is a beauty contest.

Um...but how do we measure beauty? Cos it's not all in the looks.

That's me out of here.

It's-it's in a good heart. It's-it's in kindness.

And it's in inner strength. So...

What is Miss Teen Vic really about?

Well...

Well, it's really about Queen Vic!

Because the queen was a teen, when she become queen, you see.

So we are looking for the best teen who would be queen.

So if you're young and you want to sign up...

Or young at heart and-and want to sign up,

please see my boy Tamwar. He's at the end of the bar.

So please sign up.

For all those who are beautiful inside as well as out.

HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

Bar's still open, so...

Thank you guys so much for doing this.

She's a little angel.

Never know - I can return the favour for you two one day!

Yeah. Maybe.

INDISTINCT SPEECH

Come on.

OK, all right. So, round one - We Are Not Amused.

Drooling over young girls, Ian?

I'm not drooling!

Not my thing.

OK, so the last three to crack a smile go through to round two.

Long may you all reign.

OK, so, boys, step over.

Come on, fellas.

LAUREN SIGHS IN DISGUST

ABI LAUGHS

BELL RINGS Abi out.

I hadn't even started! That was my normal face!

LAUGHTER

That's my face.

LAUREN LAUGHS

BELL RINGS Lauren out.

That's not funny.

BELL RINGS

Alice out.

Yeah, pick on my girlfriend, why don't you?

Isn't going to work.

Denise has told me some things that might make me laugh, but...

Isn't going to work.

Oh! Oh! She's going. Look, Patrick, she's going!

That don't look like a smile to me.

Come on, man.

LUCY GIGGLES

BELL RINGS Lucy out.

That was cheating! FATBOY LAUGHS

Such a bad loser.

Now we got ourselves three winners!

Give them a round of applause, all right? For our Royal Highnesses.

Our Royal Highness Kim, our Royal Highness Cindy,

and our Royal Highness Pretty Poppy. You're all through to round two.

OK, so let's make some noise for them. One more time.

APPLAUSE

High five.

Our bar is open, so please, it's time for refreshments,

and it is happy hour, so let's make it happen.

WOMAN: Tomato juice.

What is it now? A bulb's blown?

No, you...you seemed a little bit stressed this morning.

Well, I'm not.

Me and Scarlett have got to get to a business meeting,

so unless there's anything else?

Do you want me to take her?

And finally, in round two - Empress Me,

Her Royal Highness Miss Kimberley Fox.

I wouldn't let my daughter take part in this.

Well, if I was Empress for a country that I'd never been to,

I would be the Empress of...Italy.

Because the men there are really fit.

And I've seen them in their little tiny tight...

PATRICK COUGHS

I think Cindy and Poppy go through to the final.

This is a stitch up!

There's only one throne you're going to sit on.

And I wouldn't follow you after you'd been there! LAUGHTER

Ian! OK. So, drink o'clock, people. Let's make this happen, hey?

We are amazing.

Totes amazeballs.

Thanks for this afternoon.

It was lovely.

It was like a dream.

I bought...

I bought a ring.

SHE SIGHS

I thought I could take the pain away.

You don't have to try and do everything on your own, you know.

That's what I do, Whitney. That's who I am.

And I don't do too shabbily, do I?

I'm worried about you.

Why? Because I've got more businesses

and more money than you'll ever see in a lifetime?

There's no shame in just...

Look, there's only one person you can rely on in this life.

And you go to the mirror and say hello.

WHITNEY SCOFFS

Look, when me and Tyler split up, yeah,

I could hardly think most of the time.

Stop, this is hardly the same as you and amoeba-boy, is it?

Oh, Janine, I get it. I get it. You're lonely. You are.

The person that you talk to, the person that you tell

everything to, he's not here.

You tell me, when was the last time you had a good laugh in this house?

In this big, beautiful house that you bought with all your money

that I'll never have?

Talk to Michael. I'm sure he'd want to help you.

He's spoken to you, hasn't he?

Look, come to dinner. With the kids. Have some food.

JANINE SIGHS

Nappies and stuff are all in the bag.

We can't sit here all evening.

He's always going to be there, isn't he? What we had.

What we lost.

And what I did.

Why can't we just put all that behind us?

Go back to how we started?

Come on, I forgive you.

Is that what you think that this is about? You forgiving me?

That's not fair, is it? Come on. You've had help, Ron.

You've had counsellors. What have I had? I've had nothing.

And I'm trying. I'm really trying, Ron.

It should be about you and me, you know. Against the world.

The world's too big.

No, it isn't. Me and you, we can do anything.

We can't do anything, Jack. We can't go back to the beginning.

Too much has happened.

You might be able to forget the past, but I can't.

I just can't do it.

I had a baby when I was a child.

They took her away from me. She died.

We had our beautiful little baby boy...

What I did to Kat, what I did to Alfie, what I did to us.

How crazy is that? To want a family so much.

I just...more than anything I've ever wanted in my life,

I just wanted a family with you.

I don't want another child, Jack.

I can't go there again.

There's been too much pain.

FATBOY: And to take the crown, in the final round -

Happy and Glorious.

So, if the person you loved died, halfway through your reign -

would you love again?

Or would you, you know, tie your hair up in a bun, maybe,

and lock yourself away in a room and never stop thinking about them,

and, you know, thinking about what you had, and what you lost

and what you still wish you had and what you still wish...?

Course I'd love again. Life's too short.

True love only happens once.

You've got to grab it with both hands.

And never throw it away.

And the winner is...

Queen Cindy.

APPLAUSE

# You're simply the best

# Better than all the rest

# Better than anyone

# Anyone I ever met

# I'm stuck on your heart... #

Baby, I'm sorry, all right?

I really miss you.

# Tear us apart... #

And you're the only one I want to be with.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry too. Be my Albert again?

It don't matter.

# Every night and every day... #

I thought I was over you.

And I really thought I'd moved on.

Then I saw you...

And it was like those three years had never happened.

It was like the first time I met you.

Remember, when I splashed you with my car

and you poured that bottle of water over my head?

SHE LAUGHS

I've never loved anyone like you.

I love you so much it hurts.

I know.

You came back for your sister, didn't you?

Seeing you again - living with you. Sleeping with you...

You've made me feel alive again, Jack.

I know you don't love me.

Of course I do.

Not how I want.

Maybe not in the way that you need.

Did you ever?

Of course I did.

I loved you more than anyone I've ever met.

And I still do.

Sometimes when I look at you, I can barely breathe.

But everything that's happened to us, Jack,

it's always going to be there.

It's always going to be between us.

I've just got to go.

Jack.

Jack!

I'll move back into Phil's. I'm all he's got. He needs me.

No, I mean I've got to leave Walford.

I've got to get out now.

Jack, you can't just leave.

I can't be here. I can't be in our home.

I didn't realise till this morning,

I've been treading water here for months.

Just waiting, just waiting for you.

No-one else could ever come close.

This is just a house I live in. You came back, and it's home again.

I can't be here. I just can't do it.

What about Abi? Lauren? What about Max?

They've got Carol. Kirsty. What about Amy?

Alfie's got Roxy and I'll see her again, but I can't see you, Ron.

I can't be here for idle chit-chat. I can't do it.

This is your place. I should go. I should never have come back.

No, you're right, you need to be here for your family.

Phil needs you. Roxy needs you. She'll come around.

So will Alfie. You're right.

You've only just got your life back.

You need to grasp it with both hands.

I'll send for my stuff.

Where are you going to go?

I'll just stay at a mate's.

A few days while I sort things out here.

Maybe I'll go and see Penny.

Try and make up for walking away.

Cos you're right, that's what I do.

I love you.

SHE SNIFFS

CAR STARTS

Something's burning... Oh, that's breakfast!

(Oh, there you go.)

What? You really expect me to eat that?

You can't go to college on an empty stomach.

Dad's legal fees... What about them?

The first instalment's due today.

Two thousand pounds. Yeah, well, we can't pay what we haven't got.

You do know we're going to get fined then?

I'll talk to Jack. See if he can tide us over.

He's sure to help us out.

I've got a video project to be finishing. Oh, yeah. How's it going?

Why are you interested? I know a good film when I see one.

Erm, I'll make some more toast, yeah?

I've got to get to college.

You don't have to play Mother, you know. Someone's got to.

Just let's get this clear - you are NOT their mother.

I'm here for those kids. For as long as Max is inside.

The day Max goes down...

you're out that front door quicker than you can say 'knife'.

DISTANT ARGUING

RONNIE SIGHS

I'm warning you, Morgan, give it back!

# Tiff's in love with Bob-by! #

Oi, that's enough, the pair of you! Now get in here, please.

Morgan was reading my diary.

She hurt my arm! Sounds like you deserved it.

Morgan, some things in life are private. You leave Tiff's diary alone, please.

Are you wearing Mum's perfume? No! you look well posh.

Thanks. Eat your breakfast.

Let me give you a hand, Whit, you've got enough to contend with today.

No! All right, no! I don't need your help.

I know you're upset...

I'm disappointed.

Janine's still angry.

You shouldn't be around her.

Michael, I promise you, I'll get my job back.

We'll have to think of another way.

I'll talk to Janine this morning. How ghastly for you.

Morgan? Tiff? Come on, now! You're going to make me late!

Ronnie?

Hey! All right? Yeah.

I'm working with the kids today.

Do you think Jack's around to give me a lift?

No. Jack's...Jack's gone.

When's he going to be back?

He's not coming back. Oh. Right. Sorry.

Lauren, will you pack it in, please?

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello?

What, now?

Nothing that can't wait, no.

You fancy some company?

Cutting it fine, as usual. I'm not sure how we do it.

I think girls are easier. I don't think I was.

There's Bella! Bye, Mum!

Bye, darling, have a good day.

Don't I get a kiss? Mum! Ah! Go on!

Isn't that Tiffany's sister? Yeah. New classroom assistant.

I doubt she'll last.

Where's Bobby? Maybe he's off sick?

Bella... Tiffany... Will you line up, please?

Welcome to the front line.

Dropped her off at her nursery, yeah?

I'm warning you, Michael. Back off.

You want to keep an eye on her. Two eyes, even...

This injunction thing. It's madness.

Agreed. You know, from what I can gather from Alice,

the place is like Fort Knox.

Locks, locks, locks. Everywhere. On the windows, on the doors...

Excessive, says I. Huh?

I worry about the child. I worry about Scarlett.

Oh. I'll see ya. See ya.

I'm busy, so make it quick, will you?

I want my job back. No.

I kept it running for you! Doesn't that count for anything?

You made your choice when you sided with Branning.

PHIL SIGHS

You all right, Ronnie? Jack's gone. All right? He's left the square.

What? So now I'm a shoulder to cry on, am I?

No, I just wanted to clear the air...

You come crawling back. I'm supposed to forget everything and be friends?

Phil! I'm your family, Phil! Doesn't that MEAN anything to you?

Close the door on the way out.

One of these days, I'm going to lamp that old cow.

I'd like to see you try. You all right, smiler?

Alice!

I'm trying to do right by those kids.

Look at you! Lauren and Abi can look after themselves.

That's what I like to see. Young ladies out selling their wares.

Yeah. See anything you fancy?

A bit cheap and nasty, ain't it?

Ronnie? You got a minute? No, sorry I'm late.

We still haven't paid Max's legal fees. I just thought maybe...

Jack could help? Jack's gone away.

Well, when's he back? He's not coming back.

Erm, Billy? What?

These tenants haven't paid their rent. I need you to chase them.

Janine, I'm snowed under! Don't argue with me, please, just do it.

Oh!

You never give up, do you? I brought that for Scarlett.

Well, you needn't have bothered. She's outgrown it.

That's her favourite one, innit?

I was going to see if you wanted me to get her from nursery, but...

Sorry, shall we rewind? I seem to remember firing you.

Janine, give the girl a break, will ya?

Close the door on your way out.

Blimey, Janine, she was only trying to help you.

I am perfectly capable of looking after my own baby.

Thank you, Billy.

(Hey.)

How long have you been there?

Long enough...

How are you feeling?

Fed up of lying in this bed.

They're discharging me today. Yeah, lucky for some.

You're early.

Keen as mustard to see my favourite grandson.

His dad's already here.

Good to see the family rallying round.

Look, play nice. The pair of you. I mean it.

Or you can just both leave.

I can be civil.

I'll do my best.

Messes with your head, don't it, a hospital bed?

Well, I'm back now. I'm fighting fit.

People I'm speaking to are worried you've become yesterday's man.

You've been talking to the wrong people.

Hey, Tam. Hi. How was Janine?

Oh, she's impossible.

Do you want me to talk to her? No. No. You'll just make things worse.

Do you want to go out tonight, then?

Um, to be honest, I don't think I'd be much company.

We don't seem to be spending much time alone together lately...

OK, well, I could do with a drink. I'll see you in The Vic later, yeah?

Yep. Yeah.

Get out of my way.

Or you're going to do what? Call Jack?

Look, I don't know what you've heard, but...

He's left you high and dry.

Well, that's OK. I can manage fine on my own.

What, a beautiful woman like you? What a waste.

You know, Phil's days are numbered.

He just don't know it yet. I've got some money behind me.

We could run that place together. Partners.

RONNIE CHUCKLES

That's never going to happen.

You need all the friends you can get round here.

I'm reaching out.

Where's that consultant got to? He's always running late.

Wouldn't take a minute to enlighten us.

But at least we get to spend some quality time together. Eh?

Grape? They're seedless...

I'll go find a doctor. See what he can tell us. Huh?

With your track record, I'm surprised you're still here. Nan!

I was just saying.

Soon come.

Give us a bit...

It's mine! Give it back, that's my lunch!

Denny, don't!

Leave him alone, Dennis! Or what? Is everything all right?

Snitches get stitches.

Go and play somewhere else. Problem?

Nope. Nothing I can't handle.

Come on, I'll give you mine.

I'm not sure I want to be part of your project.

LAUREN LAUGHS

What would you rather do then? Go for a drink?

Don't... Sorry.

Go back to your place...

I don't think that's a very good idea, either.

Oh, so now I'm your guilty secret? Yep. Something like that.

Would your dad send me packing?

My dad's in prison. OK.

I don't know why I just told you that.

Do you think that's going to make me run away?

They say he tried to kill someone.

OK, so maybe I'll start running.

We're just trying to keep it all together.

What's left of the family, anyway.

Sometimes I just feel...

really, really lonely.

And what makes you so special, eh?

I didn't say that.

I'll tell you this much -

everyone you care about will be feeling the same way.

You reckon?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Everyone's got their own problems. Look at me.

I drive a mini cab up and down the Mile End Road every day.

I've spent the last two years of my life trying to get it back.

I'm just tired of putting on a brave face all the time.

I know. I know.

All right. Yep. Where's Lexi?

She's upstairs asleep.

And before you start, I don't want to hear it, all right?

Phil, Ronnie needs you. She's made her bed. She can lie in it.

You can't just pretend she don't exist. Watch me.

After everything she's done for you?

What are you talking about? I'm the one who took her in, aren't I?

And now you're the one turning your back on her. I'm telling you.

Just stay out of it.

Thought Phil had given you the push.

Don't worry. I'll be gone in a minute.

Not too keen on you moving in with Jack, eh?

Jack left last night. Not that it's any of your business.

Jack's got a habit of doing a runner.

We both decided it was for the best.

I can't say I blame him. After everything that's happened.

What's that supposed to mean?

Let's face it, Ronnie, you've hardly been a ray of sunshine.

Have you finished?

Jack's done a runner. Phil's washed his hands of you.

So, why don't you do us all a favour, eh? Just disappear?

All being well, they'll be discharging him tomorrow.

I suppose that lets you off the hook.

We could at least pretend to get along. For Dexter's sake.

Spare me the parental concern.

If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't even BE in that bed!

Do you think if I'd have known, I'd have let him go through with it?

Let's get one thing straight.

I'm too old and too clever to fall for that charm of yours.

You'd better get used to me being around.

I ain't going anywhere.

Oh, I can play happy families, if that's what it takes.

And that way...

I can keep an eye on you.

Shall we walk awhile? Jack's gone?

Yep. Seems you were the last to know.

And he was doing so well. He was up on his feet.

He was making a go of things. All those cliches.

And you've gone and ruined it.

You got what you wanted, didn't you? Sad little Ronnie, left on her own.

Again. Seems to be a pattern emerging.

You're pathetic, do you know that?

You know, I warned him about you. I did.

I said you were deteriorated merchandise. A misfit.

Yes, well, you would know, wouldn't you?

Meaning?

You're like a little boy, aren't you, Michael? You're lost.

I think probably you're more messed up than I am.

Interesting. Expand?

You've got a wife who hates you.

A father you despise...

Ditto, by the way.

Yes, well, two kids you never see. Oh, do we want to do kids?

And of course the one thing that I haven't mentioned, Michael...

your mother.

That found its mark.

And now your bestest friend in the whole wide world has left

without even saying goodbye.

That's really sad, isn't it, Michael?

You look fit today.

Just an observation.

I know Dennis can be...challenging.

He's a bully.

Well, he's difficult. But he has had a lot to contend with.

No, that gives him no right to go around bullying Morgan like that.

You can't take sides, Whitney.

Not in this job.

I wasn't.

We have a duty of care to every single child in this school.

That includes those we find it harder to like.

I know.

Look, to be honest, I found it all a bit full-on today.

Well, the children in class three...

..made this for you.

Sharon said that you'd gone home.

Jack...

..Jack wanted some stuff sending on.

Look, Ronnie, Phil's going to come around.

I'm not really sure I care any more.

You don't mean that.

I should never have come back.

But this is your home.

I can't walk down the street without someone staring at me.

So? Why do you care?

Everywhere I go reminds me of what I've lost.

I was better off in prison.

So what, you're just going to sit and hide in here then, are you?

Look, I tell you what, I'll get Jay to baby-sit

and we'll go for a drink and have a proper chat, yeah?

What, at The Vic?

Yes, at The Vic.

You need to show people that Jack Branning might run off.

But Ronnie Mitchell's not going anywhere.

HE MOUTHS: Mum.

I hope the competition was worth all the trouble.

How much profit did we make?

Well, you know, I don't really have the figures at hand...

Fatboy...

We just about broke even.

What?

You know, there was the decorations...

there was the prize money... All these things added up.

You're a liability, you know that. Listen, don't worry, OK.

This pub will be running like a well-oiled machine.

You can't even manage the rotas.

My feet are killing me.

Just stay for a couple, then I'll go and pick Tommy up.

Nah, I'm just having this one. I'm cooking dinner tonight.

Same again, please, Fats.

Get one for yourself.

Thanks, mate. I need it.

It's very quiet.

We're losing money hands over fists.

You know what you're missing?

A woman's touch.

It's certainly been a while...

I could help out for an hour?

Nah, we're fine... I don't mind.

That is the best offer you'll ever get, you know.

I just don't think it's a good idea...

Right, come on, everyone! It's happy hour.

You going to be OK?

Yep. As long as I get to see you again.

I'm sure it can be arranged.

I wish you'd let me take you home.

I can walk from here.

I'll call you.

You'd better.

How was school?

Hmm.

That good, was it?

Come on. Tell Granddad David all about it.

I haven't seen Bobby for two whole days.

Well, you know what they say - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It's all Ian's fault.

What's he got to do with it?

He kept him off school to revise.

He thinks his precious son's too good for the likes of us.

Oh, does he now?

He's trying to spilt us up.

What if I found a way of getting you two lovebirds together?

Really? Yeah.

I can't have my Tiff left on the shelf, can I?

Thanks, Granddad! I knew you'd sort it.

That's all right, darling.

Thought I'd make a casserole.

You'll be baking an apple pie next.

Yeah, well, the butcher gave me some cheap cuts.

How appropriate.

At least I'm putting food on the table.

What you doing looking so pleased with yourself?

I just realised there's no point worrying, is there?

Absolutely.

Let's just forget that your old man is banged up in prison, shall we?

Arguing about anything is not going to help, is it?

How's the project going?

Yeah... Good. I had a really productive day, actually.

Your cousin's on the mend. Just in case you were wondering...

See, that's good, ain't it?

Could be worse, couldn't it?

Anyway, dinner will be ready soon. Thought we could eat as a family.

I can hardly wait.

Why don't you just go and set the table, Nan?

Excuse me?

You're not much use for anyone in the kitchen, are you?

Let's face it.

Right. What can I help you with then?

Cheers. Just like old times in here.

Yeah.

You're certainly drawing them in.

Lo, how's Ronnie, all right?

Yeah, she'll be fine.

Phil. What can I get you?

What's she doing behind the bar?

Putting money in the till, by the looks of it.

I'll have an orange juice over here.

I'll have the same again, please, Kat.

You thought about my offer?

Why would I want to start a business with a lowlife like you?

Face it. You and that club need protection.

Funny because I thought I told you this morning,

I'm absolutely fine managing on my own.

Ronnie, is he bothering you?

No, it's all right. It's nothing I can't handle.

Why don't you back off, yeah? You going to make me?

No, but I will...

Why don't you and your friends stay away from my business, eh?

You see, we don't take too kindly to threats.

If I were you, I'd leave quietly.

I can wait.

You're hard work, you are, do you know that?

Family trait, isn't it?

Look, Ronnie, why don't you just say sorry?

No, Phil's the one who started it. No, no,

Jack was the one who started it.

Anyway, you're better off without him.

If you can't put this behind us, I may as well pack a bag myself.

Yeah, that's right, pack a bag...

Pack a bag...

and get yourself over to my house.

Do you mean that?

Yeah.

Well, you're one of us, ain't you?

You're a Mitchell.

Michael, I'm sorry. I really tried...

She was my age when she died, you know.

I don't understand.

I found her in the dark.

She was lying on the sofa.

She was very cold.

Your mum?

She gave me that.

She'd taken some...

..pills.

And never woke up.

I was six.

She wasn't well.

I'll go the same way.

No, don't say that.

Don't even think it.

I always think it.

It's all I think about.

Because we're the same, you see.

Damaged.

No, you're a lot stronger than she was. No.

Michael, I swear to you I will never, ever let that happen to you.

OK?

I'll look after you.

You and me.

And Scarlett...

We're going to get her back.

Whatever it takes.

You sure she's got chickenpox?

She's got spots all over her face, Billy.

She probably picked it up from that horrible nursery.

Place is full of germs, ain't it?

At least she's safe here with me. I really don't trust him.

Janine, erm... All these locks.

Don't you think it's getting a bit out of hand? He threatened me.

It's OK, baby.

You've got no idea what he's capable of.

All right, look. Why don't you stay here, look after Scarlett?

I can run the office.

Janine, I'm not completely useless.

Careful, careful, careful...

I was going to make you breakfast in bed. That would've been nice.

I would have eaten the breakfast. It's not a good idea.

Michael, we're together now, I don't care who knows.

Think about this. Kathleen will throw me out and the monkey, he's going to respond predictably.

They're going to find out sooner or later.

Janine, d'you think she's going to let you look after Scarlett if she knows that you and I are together?

I don't think so. You know, incidentally, she swore at Dot this morning.

Did she? She did, yeah. She's losing the plot.

She is, yeah.

Good.

Just a few more days, baby.