13/10/2013 EastEnders Omnibus

DOOR BUZZES

Hello.

Hello?

Hello?

No more mercy for the birthday girl, yeah?

Cos I'm the Pound Up professional. Dexter... Oh, Mum!

I was just about to win big! What, £3.50?

Don't knock it, that's six wings in McKlunky's. Yeah.

Let Jay have it, I need to talk to you. Mum!

It's all right, mate, don't be jealous!

Take it. Go on. Happy birthday.

I hope you get salmonella, yeah? Dexter!

That's nice, innit? Come on.

Ooh!

Work trouble?

Hello?

No.

Your minions off doing your dirty work?

Don't worry, Janine, I'm here to help.

I'd rather die underneath a pile of filing.

What do you want now? I'm glad we can be

so forthcoming with each other.

What do I want? I'm looking for an investment.

Oh, I see. A little deposit in the Bank of Wicks, is it?

Practically the spare change in the bottom of your very nice handbag.

A grand.

Right, so you don't get a job and now you want a loan, is that right?

Weren't it your dad that said

the key to making money was "taking the first profit"?

If I thought there was even a chance of a profit,

then I might be doing just that.

Until then...zero. Zilch.

Nada.

Do you know, you're getting a little bit miserly in your old age!

Do you know, you're getting a little bit poor in yours!

Which is worse?

Cheers, buddy. Thank you.

All right, what can I get you?

I'm here to say sorry.

Michael Moon and a conscience, there's a new one. I feel bad,

it wasn't my place to tell you.

I appreciate your concern for my emotional wellbeing,

but I've a fiancee for that.

So position is filled, all right, Michael?

But you know it came from a place of worry?

I care about you, you're my cousin. You know what they say...

What? You marry the girl...

Come on, Alfie. ..you marry the family too.

It's only a matter of time before they pass each other on the street.

Eventually, they'll have to speak to each other. Start fawning,

squealing and being blonde. All right, enough. Shut up.

Give it a rest, OK? Personally...

Personally, I would want that monster run out of town.

Yeah, well, thankfully, it's got nothing to do with you, OK?

You can try and deny it, but we're cut from the same cloth

and I know that deep down inside,

you...want...Ronnie...gone.

Hey... Alfie, where you going? I'm going out.

See you later, man.

What you sticking your nose into? He needs some advice.

Oh, right. You an agony aunt, are you?

So, this is it. It's really happening.

Yeah, looks like it.

25th October. That's only three weeks' time.

That's cool, Mum. It works for me. Dexter, it's not too late to cancel.

I can have a word with your dad. Mum...

I'm saving someone's life, yeah? My dad's life.

How often do you get the chance to do that?

Look, I'll be fine.

I'll be moonwalking out of there, all right? Yeah, right. Sorry.

It's just that, well, I read these statistics and... It doesn't matter.

No. No, go on. No, forget it. No, Mum, what do you mean? What?

What statistics? Your operation's on a Friday, isn't it? Yeah, so?

I read that the aftercare at the weekends

is not as good as the aftercare on weekdays.

So what, is that it?

The death rates are higher.

Look, Mum, people say all these things about the NHS all the time.

They're not talking about me.

People who are young and healthy and good looking.

Look, Mum, I'm going to be fine, all right?

I've got to go. I'll see you later.

Yeah? See you later.

PHONE RINGS

Well, hello there, Mary Poppins.

'Janine, I'm really worried about Scarlett.'

She won't stop crying and she's really hot.

It's probably just a sniffle. Give her the purple stuff

out of the medicine cabinet. She was fine this morning.

'No, seriously...'

I've never seen her like this before.

I think she needs her mum.

If I don't get through this paperwork, she won't have a mum,

or a nanny, she'll be on the breadline, living in a doorway! Huh!

Look, I'll be home as soon as I can.

OK.

Bought you this.

Oh, right. Well, thank you.

You look like you need cheering up.

Mmm... Just promise me never to go into the property industry, OK?

Really? Granddad's been teaching me all about business.

I'm getting pretty good.

Well, I wouldn't listen to him, because he hasn't got

a penny to his name. That's cos he lives life on the edge.

Is that what he says?

Well, yeah, the edge of his overdraft.

Grandad's worried about you.

He said family should look out for each other.

Well, unfortunately, that only works one way for David.

Is Scarlett poorly?

No. She'll be fine.

Mum said when Morgan's ill, I've got to be extra nice to him.

Helps him get better.

Right.

Do you know, you're right.

I'll see you later, Tiff, OK?

So Mama H was making sure her kidney farm was all right, was she?

Jay, it's not funny, she was worried, you know.

So, er, when you going under the knife?

Couple of weeks. Don't envy you.

Listen, Phil, what do they treat you like in there?

No worse than prison.

Are you joking? THEY LAUGH

Of course I'm joking. Now, come on, that's not funny, man.

Hiya.

Phil, can I borrow a couple of your lads for 20 minutes this afternoon?

Why, what do you need doing? I'm moving some furniture around in Jack's.

I'm getting settled in. There's no rush, is there? You'll be fine without me.

You're on the mend, aren't you? That's not what I'm worried about.

I can move back in, if you need a hand round the place.

That's not the problem!

I was just saying...

Well, don't!

I appreciate your concern,

but I think it's time I moved forward with Jack.

Listen, Phil,

do you mind if I take 20 minutes out quickly?

Is that a joke? No. Look, I just need to go to the chemist

and pick something up for my dad. Yeah, yeah, go on, then.

Cheers. See you later.

It's all right, Mummy's here now! She's going to be fine.

Ssh! Do you think maybe we should call a doctor? Or the hospital?

No, look, it's going to be OK. You can go now.

I don't mind staying to help.

It's fine, Alice. Thank you.

It's OK. Come on, baby. Just call me if you need anything, OK?

Mummy's here now. Shush, it's OK.

Thank you.

Shush, it's OK.

Dot's recruited you, eh? Joining the washerwomen of Walford?

No, I'm just picking up some stuff for my mum. You OK?

Look, yes, yes, I'm fine! OK, Abs? Yeah. All right. Look, Jay,

what we going to do for him?

What do you mean? For his birthday!

It was yesterday. Exactly!

I think he just wanted a quiet one.

Yeah, that's what he says, but we know better than that. Do we?

Look, we have to do something, to take his mind off things.

Off what? Off life! You know, being a grease monkey! Being ugly,

getting one year older.

Look, I'm going to go find him, yeah?

See you later. See ya.

Oh, Dex, you've, erm...

Yeah, and what else did she say?

She said you ain't got a penny

and you're at the edge of your overcraft, or something.

Overdraft.

Don't take no notice of her, darling,

she's just sad because she works too much.

Nah, that's not it. No? What do you think it is, then?

It's obvious.

What, because she ain't got a boyfriend no more?

No! Even more obvious than that.

Cos she was born that way?

She misses Nana Pat!

Oh, do you reckon?

This'll be the easiest monkey I've ever made.

Monkey? Yeah, 500 quid.

I thought you asked for a grand.

Yeah, but because I've asked her for twice as much as I need,

when she only gives me half of that,

I leave her feeling like she's won something.

And am I going to get a cut?

Of course. You did very good work today.

You extracted vital information.

She's not as scary as she thinks.

You've just got to be nice to her,

even when she's all spiky. Yeah, you're right, Tiff.

I know exactly what you mean.

So how many times have you seen her? Alfie... I need to know.

Have you had this conversation with Roxy? No. You know I can't.

She'll come up with a different story every time. How many times?

What difference does it make, how many times?

OK, you were in the Vic yesterday. There's one.

I'm not trying to hurt anyone here.

So how come you manage it every time?

She's my sister. I'm not stopping you from loving her.

No, but she's lying to my face every day.

She wanted to tell you. I told her that she should.

But maybe it's you. Did you ever think about that?

Maybe you're not so easy to confront.

What are you talking about?

It's not the first time you've been lied to, is it?

You've got a nerve. You know that?

You come here and try and tear up everything I have,

cos it's so easy to you, isn't it, eh?

I lost everything too! Why are you still here?!

Where else do you want me to go?! Really? Like I care. Really?

Anywhere! Anywhere. We were happy!

Me, Roxy, Tommy and Amy, you know something? We were a family.

And I am part of that family, whether you like it or not.

So I'm sorry, Alfie,

I'm afraid you're going to have to get used to it.

Come on. Let's go Shoreditch or something, man.

I mean, what are we doing sitting in here

when we've got a whole world waiting for us out there? Erm, that's why.

Ain't you got to pay Phil back his money?

It was our boy's birthday yesterday, we didn't even do anything!

Don't worry about me. I had an amazing day, I spent it with Abi...

Come on, ain't you got any sense of adventure? Mate, I'm up for anything.

Let's do it, come on. Yes! Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

That's what I want to hear. All right, I'll have some of that.

Abi can meet me after work. Sorted. Where are we even going to go?

Mine. Eh? We'll go mine.

Party at mine tonight, yeah? Party at mine for Jay's celebration!

Because it was his birthday yesterday.

Oh, we can't because we're busy... That sounds fun.

You up for it, yeah? Yeah. All right!

I don't think your parents are really going to want to...

Of course. Why not?

It's my house, innit?

How can anyone ever trust you again?

Roxy does.

Kat does. No. Stop. No, Kat doesn't.

Yes, she does... No! Why don't you ask her?

I know what I did destroyed you two in more ways than one.

That is nothing to do with you. I'm not talking to you about that.

I know you're angry with me, Alfie, but maybe it's more than just Tommy.

Stop. That's enough! That's enough.

I can't just keep saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, over and over again!

No, you can't, Ronnie. No, you can't!

Because it will never be enough.

Mum! Mmm? Are you listening, yeah?

Can I have the house to myself tonight?

Ooh! Who is she, then? What are you talking about?

It's got to be a girl, innit? You wanting the house to yourself.

Mum, no! No, no girl, it's Jay!

Oh, well, I'm fine with that too. Mum, I want to have a drink for him.

It was his birthday yesterday and no-one done anything for him. Go on,

let him. Babes, you're exhausted.

Then a quiet drink with you in the pub

might just be the thing to pep me up. Come on, Mum, man,

you're going on like I ask you for this all the time. It's a one-off.

It's been a big day for all of us, let him blow off some steam.

The boy's earned it. Oh, all right, then.

Tracey, sweetheart, will you do us a favour? I think Tommy's getting hungry.

Are you getting hungry, buddy? Go and get something to eat.

Be a good boy for Auntie Tracey.

Kat, do you mind if he stays with you tonight? Why, what's the matter?

Nothing. I've just...

got a few things I need to sort out. It's Michael, innit? No.

Ignore him, he don't know anything.

Kat, it's nothing to do with Michael.

It's Roxy.

She's been seeing Ronnie behind my back.

Oh, right, sorry.

It's all the lies, you know? They don't stop. It's just...

I think she's just trying to protect YOU, Alfie.

Stop, I don't want protection, it's not about protection.

This is about the truth.

What I did to you, don't let that ruin this, please. No, no, Kat.

Seriously, we're over that now.

Well, this is up to you, innit?

Do you want her enough to get through this?

Oh, come on!

DOOR UNLOCKS

Hey, you're home! Yeah, well, what's left of it.

Ha! I'm spring-cleaning.

Bit late in the year for that, innit?

Well, I've got a lot of time to make up for, haven't I?

Sounds good. I want things to look fresh and clean. Huh...

No, as in new.

Whatever you want to do.

You're going to help me though, aren't you? Erm...

So, how can I be of service?

Right, well, you see that bed over there? Oh, yes.

That bed has got to go.

Which means... we've got to choose a new one.

Right, first off, I ain't getting

one of those mock-leather headboards. Why?

Well, cos I ain't Craig David!

So is Oxford Street still standing, then?

Do you know what, I just got Amy some stuff. If she keeps growing,

she's going to have to start wearing my clothes.

Peroxide Part Two.

Your day been all right? TEXT MESSAGE ALERT

You going to get that?

Yeah.

Tam Tam! Alice, come on!

What can I get you?

I've got some beer, and I've got this unidentified liqueur,

this is a myth. I found it in the back of my cupboard somewhere, so...

Smells like cinnamon and anti-freeze.

And regret.

See, this isn't so bad, is it?

Yeah, I can't wait for the chimp noises

and the sweaty smell of pheromones(!)

It'll be like I'm in a nature programme.

Is there somewhere else you'd rather be?

No. I'm just kidding. You're here.

So that's...

It's not unpleasant.

Easy. Come on,

get me a clean glass. Mm-hm.

I'll get you whatever you want for the best night of your life!

What, Ryan Gosling in a hot tub?

More like Dexter Hartman in a shower-bath.

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

Yeah, well, you ain't my type, still!

Listen, Ryan Gosling, he's good with cars, I'm good with cars.

He's strong and silent...

I guess that's where you're different!

Oh, what, you being feisty, yeah? Mm. All right, never mind, I get you.

All right, come on. Strawpedo for the birthday boy! Yeah, ready?

Wow.

Alfie, wait! Look, I wanted to tell you, OK?

But you didn't. I tried to tell you in there, didn't I?

Then you started saying stuff about never lying to you

and I couldn't do it because I knew you wouldn't understand. Me and you are supposed to be a couple,

together, through everything!

It was one time, it was one time, honestly.

Another lie! You can't stop!

Alfie, look, please, It won't happen again, OK?

It won't. I promise you.

No, you're right. It won't.

What...? What are you doing?

Alfie, please, you can't do this!

Alfie, I chose YOU. I chose you a long time ago.

Really?

I'm going to do a shot for every year you've been alive, son.

Because life is beautiful.

Well, it won't be after you've drunk that...lighter fluid.

Do you know what? I think I'll pass, mate.

It's still daylight outside. Ha-ha-ha!

Oh... Um... No, no, go on, you have it.

Well, no, let's share it.

What's that smell?

Smells like fish or something.

Can you actually smell that? It IS you, isn't it?!

Oh, wow. All right, OK. We had a fish delivery this morning at Scarlett's.

I'm covering for Dad, aren't I? It's all right, you don't have to lie,

I know it's your natural scent! It's not...

OK, I've had three showers, OK? Seriously, I can't get rid of it!

I'm joking, all right? I never said it was a bad thing.

Since when has smelling like fish been a good thing?

Cos it reminds me of the seaside.

You know, like battered fish and cod and chips?

What do you smell like, anyway?

Stop it!

You smell like talcum powder and sweets.

What? Oh. That's babies for you, innit?

Look, time's running out on my little offer, you know.

DOOR BELL RINGS And what offer's that, Dex?

That's Abs. I'll get it.

For the best night of your life. Urgh, please!

You had your birthday beats yet, then?

No, but I think Dex is about to get some off Lola.

Why? What's he done?

He's drank more than an whole stag do put together.

Let me tell you something. No-one's ever turned me down before,

you should know. Yeah, I'm sure.

All right, steady on, mate, yeah? I've got a 100% success rate.

Well, not tonight, all right, Dex?

Look, I will win you over... I said no. Ooh... Whoa!

Dex, are you all right? Come here. Let's get you up.

Come on. I'm fine.

I'm all right, I'm good.

Are you sure?

Dex, what are you doing?!

Get off me, get off me!

Alfie, I know how important trust is to you, OK? I do.

After everything that happened with Kat.

What, you knew and you did the same thing?

I'm nothing like her, OK? I didn't cheat on you.

I would never cheat on you. I just saw my sister.

Don't you understand? This is much worse, Roxy!

You put my son's life at risk, OK? She came into my house!

She would never do something like that again! She stole from me...

She stole from me the first few months of his life.

He was with a complete stranger!

He wasn't with a stranger, she loved him!

What?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that was a really stupid thing to say, Alfie.

Look, please, Alfie, I know...

I know you're never going to forgive her, OK?

But I saw that my sister was hurting and I needed to help her.

You know all those plans we had,

all that Ibiza stuff?

She used to dream about that stuff,

it was the only thing that got her through.

But I never wanted that, Alfie. I wanted you.

I love you.

I will do anything, Alfie.

Please! Oi, oi, oi...

What are you doing?

I wouldn't leave you.

Roxy, I would never leave you.

All right?

But, you know, me and you,

something has to be done, all right? Yes. OK.

So tonight, me and you are leaving Walford.

You all right? Just ignore him, he's drunk. I'm having fun!

Really, Dex? You find this fun?

Yeah, well, you and Pete were, eh?

Nice and cosy in the corner.

Don't be so nasty. Shut up, mate.

You know what? You lot make a perfect couple!

Why don't you go and have some nice blonde-haired, blue-eyed babies, yeah?

And why don't you just leave it?! Lola, wait.

Why don't you go after her and make sure she's OK?

OK... Look, we should do this a lot more often(!)

Come on.

See ya.

Dex, just stop!

Good time? Ssh... Oh, sorry.

I've got more important things to do than hide my wallet from you.

I was actually hoping we could

wet the baby's head. Well, she's sleeping,

and I've literally only just managed to calm her down.

If you wake her, I swear, I will kill you.

Is that her? She's a looker, isn't she?

Gorgeous. Yes, she is.

And she's about the only woman round here your charms won't work on.

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

You hate kids, anyway.

No, but she's special, ain't she? And she's got your smile.

What I remember of it... Yep. That's exactly the one.

So, yes or no?

If she hadn't threatened my will to live today,

I would be telling you to go home.

But that bottle of wine does look very friendly.

Second cupboard on the left. Righto.

Why now? Because I think it's what we need, Rox.

Where? It doesn't matter where. I'll find a place.

I can't just go. I mean, what about Amy and school and everything?

Rox, please. Sweetheart, we can.

We'll make that call in the morning, yeah?

How long are we going to go for?

Until we get back on track.

And what will we tell everyone?

Roxy, sweetheart, no-one else matters.

PHONE VIBRATES

Leave it. Alfie, I can't. No, I mean it. Leave it.

Trust me, Rox. You and me,

we'll sort it. I promise.

I wish I'd been there for Bianca when she was that age.

First steps, first words and all that.

Yeah, but you wouldn't have been interested back then. No,

but you make mistakes, don't you?

You grow up.

You?

No.

Yeah, but you have, though.

Businesses,

lovely big house.

My mum would be proud of you, I know she would.

Oh, I miss the old bag, I really do.

Being here without her...

it's not the same.

That's why it's important that we stick together.

We help each other out. It's what she would have wanted.

Isn't it?

I'll give you 500 quid.

I want it back in a week though. One week.

All right, I can make that work.

I'll give it to you tomorrow.

Thanks, Janine.

See, you're a ray of sunshine underneath, ain't you?

With interest, David.

With interest.

This isn't like you.

Trust me, I know what it is like.

Lauren, I don't want you to be... I ain't like her.

So what is it, then? Nothing.

I found this in the launderette.

Is this it?

Is this what's wrong?

I'm so sc...

I'm so scared.

I'm terrified.

What you doing, Rox? I'm going now.

You either come with me, or you stay...

..but it's over. So it's your choice.

There's no choice.

It's you.

Oh, it's alive, then!

You don't remember, do you?

Too drunk to even get into your own bed.

Taking that kidney for a final road test, huh?

I'm just training it up for you.

Do you know what? It's not a joke.

He needs one that's working. Not one that's pickled.

We said we'd let the boy have some fun.

You know what? I ain't tidying up.

And you - you make sure you phone Abi.

She's worried about you.

She came round here to see you but you were dead to the world...

Bye. Bye.

Hey, let me throw you a lifeline. I'll tidy.

And ignore her.

She spent half of last night saying how proud she was of you.

HE COUGHS

Look, look, look. Look what I've got here.

Scarlett, look! I've got Jemima the duck! SCARLETT WHIMPERS

Please, just give me a break... it's been all night long...

Please... Shhh... OK, all right.

Alfie Moon! You the man.

You the man!

Come on, Roxy. Answer your phone.

'Please record your message...'

Tiff!

It's all right. Don't worry.

What, is this the surprise?

You drag me away from my work to show me an empty pub?

My pub, bro.

See, Alfie left on a last-minute trip to get out of here, yeah,

so I'm the boss.

And how many pub bosses do you know that are single, huh?

This place is a premium lady magnet.

Wow, free peanuts.

My life will change(!)

You see Poppy? I just saw her, you know.

She looked at me like I was nothing. Blanked me.

When she walks in later, I'll let her know, man. I'll tell her. I'll be like...

Baby - you're barred, you know.

What, for dumping you? Hey, it was a mutual decision, all right?

This is a fresh new start.

I want to show Alfie that I'm more than just a potboy.

I want to change up things.

Maybe a couple of sexy theme nights.

Maybe a couple of bikini-clad barmaids.

You're not going to get Tracey to wear a bikini.

Mate, come on, we'll recruit fresh, obviously, all right?

I think you'll find that Alfie's already been recruiting...

Yeah, I got the job. Head barman.

No, but wait, I'm still in charge. I'm manager.

Yeah, but I'm the old head to cool down your steam.

Make sure you return this place the way Alfie left it.

And I ain't so sure I've got the figure for a bikini, you know.

Yeah, but, Sadie, Pops has got work later.

So how am I going to get a baby-sitter?

No, of course... Of course I want to work...

I'll try, OK? Bye.

I thought I was going to have to save you last night. Mm?

Dexter. Doesn't know how to take no for an answer, does he? No.

Still. Least you pulled for once, eh?

Nice!

These two were getting pretty close last night. Oh, yeah?

You don't fancy her as well, do you?

No, I don't fancy her. No.

A wise idea.

When you think of all the tawdry little scrubbers he's had in that bed...

Probably a lot more than were willing to climb into your pit, Michael.

Very good.

And so accommodating, isn't he...

Very forgiving.

Unlike Alfie.

Bye.

You can't call someone a nutjob, darling.

That's not a very nice word.

You leave the fighting talk round here to me. Go on.

Are you going to fight Masood so you can stay with Nana Carol?

No. I just want your nana to be happy, that's all.

Here you are, stick that in there. She was crying today.

Was she?

It's Billie's birthday. She always cries on Billie's birthday.

Oh, well, that's not good, is it? Here you are.

Then you and I, we're going to have to find a way of cheering her up, aren't we?

Look, am I in trouble? Don't you remember?

Come on, man. All right, tell me.

Was I bad?

Yes. Yes, you was bad.

And you really need to sort out your pick-up lines.

Are you all right?

Yeah. And here's a "I'm sorry for being an idiot last night" coffee.

So am I forgiven? Is that enough? Or should I leave town?

Or shall I just marry you? And then spend the rest of my life making it up to you...

Yeah, you're forgiven. Just.

Thought I was legally contracted to get you a big dress

and look after someone else's kid for a minute. Huh?

I mean, not that that would be a bad thing, just...

Loads of bredders would still want to... Still?

I didn't mean it like that. I'm sure you didn't, Dex. Lexi's gorgeous. And you...

You're a hot spice! No, no, no, don't call me hot spice!

Look, I just really, really offended Lola. I gotta go... Er, no. You're not going anywhere.

You look shattered. Did you sleep at all last night?

I called 111.

They said that she's probably got a cold and to just keep an eye on her.

Scarlett. Mummy has got to work, darling, OK?

Have you tried the duck?

Yes, I've tried the duck.

What about steam for her stuffy nose?

Sit her next to the shower. I've tried the steam and that doesn't work.

I've tried the duck and that doesn't work.

I've tried that stupid thing that sings that song and that doesn't work.

I could ring Michael and see if he'll have her for tonight to give you a break.

I know how to look after my daughter.

She obviously just wants to stay with her mum so I'll keep her with me today, all right?

What, in the office? Won't she need fresh air...?

Then I'll take her to the park.

That's enough for today. Thank you, Alice.

SCARLETT CRIES

I'm scared? Nah, nah, nah, no-one ever said that.

You actually said "terrified".

That was the alcohol talking, yeah? Well, it was your lips moving.

You know someone had one done in 1962. Oh, my days...

A kidney transplant. And they're still working.

Look, can you stop looking up my organs on the internet, please?

The point is that hospitals have been fixing people for ages. I mean, look at my mum, Lauren...

Let me tell you something, yeah? People might get "fixed" in your nice little life.

But not mine, yeah. Oh, "nice little life"? My dad is in prison.

Lauren nearly died. Nearly?

See, when I used to live on that estate it was never just a "nearly".

You go in hospital. You come out in a box.

What? I'm not being dramatic. It's a fact.

Your dad'll be all right.

Dexter, you will be all right. It's routine.

And what, where did you read that? On some computer screen?

No, Dex, I'm not dismissing what you're doing, all right.

I think you are really brave. Dex...

You all right? Yes...

All right, Lauren?

All right?

Yeah, oh, congratulations, by the way.

I heard you...found someone.

Yeah, no, it's good... I'm pleased.

It's just I hope he's right for you, that's all.

Right for me? Yeah.

Wow. What, I can't date because of what I am now?

Is that what you're saying? No. That's not what I'm saying, Lauren.

Not what I'm saying at all. Good. Good.

Because you don't know anything about us.

Maybe I don't know nothing about you, but I do know that Peter

was getting pretty close to Lola last night.

What's funny? I don't get it, Lauren? What? Nothing.

You know what, actually don't, I shouldn't have said anything, should I?

It's none of my business no more, is it?

I'll see you later, yeah?

You OK? Yeah, fine.

Tiff said you were upset this morning. I'm sorry...

Didn't realise she was watching.

Well, she cares about you, Carol. All of your family do.

Do you remember when she thought there was a ghost upstairs?

And me mum had come back? I still feel her, though.

In this house...

I think we all do with this wallpaper.

So, what do you feel? Clip round the ear probably.

That was her usual welcome back for the prodigal son.

That was the school. Interview? Tomorrow.

You'll walk it. About time you had good news. You deserve it, Whitney.

"You deserve it"? You don't even know her. You don't know any of us.

Pat telling you that as well, is she? I am trying, Carol.

Is there anything you want me to do today? To help?

No, it's all right. Jack takes me to the crematorium...

But thanks.

What about this evening? Anyone going to be there for you?

I'm not interfering, I just...

How about I treat you to a nice quiet dinner?

Rich now, are you?

Whatever it is you want to do.

Just to show that Billie ain't been forgotten.

And neither have you.

Look now, man, I'd help.

But I don't want to risk my lumbago.

Come on, Patrick.

You fancy taking a few crates down to the barrel store?

There's a pint in it for you.

Er. Sorry, I do recruitment.

Which of you two do I say yes to,

if you offer another pint to keep it company?

I think you've got yourself a deal.

I'll collect them with my son

when we've got something to celebrate in a few weeks' time.

All right, I'll see you round the back. All right.

Yeah, man.

Oi, oi, Dad, what are you doing? You shouldn't be carrying that.

Always got my back, hey, son?

So we owe you six weeks' deposit...

Three weeks. Little baby trashed the living room.

Three weeks' deposit...

I know I just said six.

If you take that tone with me, I'm going to make it two.

SCARLETT WHIMPERS

I'm going to take a break.

Child!

Undoubtedly Scarlett is the cutest kid in Walford...

but should she really be here?

She'll only settle when she's with me.

Well, then take the day off. And take Scarlett with you.

Naughty Mummy. Come on, baby.

So you know I manage this place, right?

So if you want a little private lock-in...

Want to come back to my luxury bachelor pad, you know...? That's my old room.

He's only... He's only...

Listen, call me, innit.

Hey! Great wingman work, bruv. Thank you very much, man. Thanks(!)

Well, you say "luxury bachelor pad"

and then she just finds my old single bed with Kamil's Batman duvet on it?

OK, well, we need a few new accessories, brother.

But I ain't no joke, you know. Never said you were.

No, no, I've had enough. Firstly, Poppy dumps me, yeah...

Thought that was a mutual thing?

Then Alfie leaves me in charge, but leaves me with some baby-sitter.

And then you - you mess me up with a potential.

Potential... Sorry.

You know what, I can run this place, Tam, all right?

And I can get the ladies. Right, and I will be something.

You just watch.

That's the last time that Fatboy sleeps alone under a single duvet, man.

Hello?

Ronnie...

Look, I ain't so sure you're that welcome here still, you know.

No, look, I know, all right? I'm just looking for Roxy. She's not getting her phone.

Well, they all left.

Alfie, Roxy and the little girl too.

Didn't you know that?

Yeah - yeah, of course. Of course, I just forgot.

Look, I mean, Alfie left a note. No warning at all.

Said he'll call me during the week.

She didn't... Roxy didn't leave a message for me, did she?

I'm so sorry, Ronnie.

They won't be long. They'll be back soon, I'm sure.

Wouldn't stay long away from family, you know.

Thanks.

Oh!

Think their "barista" needs a little training. Maybe I should offer?

Do you miss it? Cheffing?

What do you do now?

Taxis. Picking drunk kids up all night.

Always feel like the concerned dad.

Making sure they get home in one piece.

You got kids?

No details. No analysis.

Thought that's what we agreed?

Yep... Save all that for therapy.

Sitting round in a circle,

head full of broken toys saying what a screw-up we made of our lives...

Us? We enjoy. You're an international woman of mystery.

Yeah, well, maybe I'll put that on my next CV.

Woman of mystery.

Ooh...

Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change....

And the wisdom to get a mysterious

but very hot brunette a decent cup of coffee.

Listen, you fancy a taxi ride?

Yeah.

A "sorry". About Tiff before. She really should know better at her age.

No, look, it's fine, Don't worry about it. I'll be having words.

There's no need. Really.

You dumping that bed outside?

Look, I haven't had time to clear it yet.

No, I'm not having a go. I ain't the council.

Can I save you the bother? No. No, don't worry about it.

Oh, I must be losing my touch.

Time was I could talk a lady into bed.

Can't even do her a favour out of one now.

No, truth is I've got a mate who flogs them second hand.

I'll give you 20 quid for it if you like.

No, no, I don't want your money.

Well, take the flowers then.

Please. Come on, throw me some rope here.

Turning down my bed offers? Rejecting my flowers?

You certainly know how to crush a man's feelings.

Thank you.

And you leave the bed - and Tiff - to me, OK?

So... this bodyswap thing you're doing...

Does that mean he's going to start taking on your personality?

Start saying things like "Innit, though," and "Oh, my days"?

You're sexy when you're angry... Bruv, my dad is sick. I mean, what, you think it's funny?

Sorry, man. You're a good guy.

More guts than me. Kidneys, on the other hand...

Hey.

I watched my family fall apart.

Yeah, well, I'm not falling apart, am I?

No. But you are doing exactly what we all did.

And not talking.

Look, Dex, come on...

Come on...

What...?

Just leave him.

MUSIC: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke

MUSIC: "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye

Hey, hey, hey... Big tune, brother, but come on, man, something from this millennium.

Yeah, yeah, but your punters were all born in the last millennium.

Now this is a tune. # Let's get it on...

Yeah, man, I tell you, the ladies I entertained with this tune, you know....

Patricia Evans...

Maybe I ain't so sure I'm going to tell you that story...

FATBOY LAUGHS Hey.

You the new guv'nor? Fats. Or Fatboy. Or Arthur Chubb.

You're Tiff's granddad, right? Make a man feel old, why don't you? Sorry.

Though if I'd known at this age I'd still be waking up in a single bed at my mum's house...

Tell me about it. I'm staying with a friend at the minute, to help him

with the rent and that. But the bed? The bed is marga, man.

You in the market for new furniture, then?

I mean, as long as it's not Pat's old stuff. No disrespect or anything...

I know what you mean. I loved my mum, but she didn't half love chintz...

You don't seem the sort of guy that could be flogged cast-offs.

No, I got a really good mate, he works in a high-class bed place up in town.

He can supply me at cost. Do you want in?

I'd have to see it first, cos I don't really buy off of randoms.

Course. Course. Course. Shall I see what I can get sent over?

All right, yeah.

Double bed, yeah? Top of the range... Absolutely.

Class, like yourself. You!

Ta-ta. Take it easy.

No, I'm her father, all right!

She can't be taken away without you telling me.

Jack... Jack, let me talk to her.

Rox? How long are you going to... Roxy?

This is Alfie, isn't it?

It's him punishing her for speaking to me.

Listen, I'm going to call Carol, tell her to get a cab... You can't do that. You promised her.

Jack, I'm so sorry about all of this.

It's not your fault, is it?

HE COUGHS

Hey, Sam...

HE STRUGGLES TO BREATHE Sam?

Sam?

HE GASPS FOR BREATH

Where's Scarlett?

She's with Janine. I've got the day off.

Why? She wouldn't stop crying.

She's ill.

Ill? Doctor ill?

I think so but Janine reckons she's just got a cold.

I don't know, I'm a bit worried about her.

If you're a bit worried about her, stop faffing around with your nails and tell me where they are!

Where are those ducks? Are they hiding?

Where's Jemima's friends, baby?

Where are they?

PHONE RINGS

You don't have to decide right now. Today.

If you don't do it,

then he just goes back to needing a donor, like he already was.

You found that online as well, yeah?

He's only known that he needed this for a few weeks.

Dex, he has waited to be your dad for 20 years.

So let him be one. Just talk to him.

He's not well, Abs.

And what kind of son does that make me?

One that is brave enough to tell him the truth.

We can look at the duckies later, darling...

Hey!

I've got you!

What happened? I've got you.

OK, guys. Take it easy. Nice one.

Eh, mate, you was not wrong. That bed is proper sick.

Happy sailing in it... Nice one, man. You take it easy.

Later on.

You just conned Fatboy. That's the nutjob's old bed.

Oi, what have I told you about using that word?

And it wasn't a con. It was a deal.

She was happy to get rid of it. He's happy to buy it.

And if I make a bit on the way, I'm happy as well, ain't I?

SIREN APPROACHES

You have to stay. And protect us. You made enough money now.

No dads ever stay with us. And my other granddad's dead.

I will protect you...

And your other granddad, he'd have loved you, just as much as I do.

He was a character, old Frank Butcher...

Says he was a pilchard in the garden.

Yeah, he was.

But he had a smile that could light up a lamp-post.

One smile from him,

and he could get anyone to give him anything. Just like yours.

PHONE RINGS

Tell them. All right, all right, I will. But not on the phone.

I'll do it face to face. I owe them that much.

So I'm thinking singles' nights.

What you talking about? Speed-dating?

That's a bit sad, ain't it? No. It's going to be classy.

And plus for those that are manager's mates,

you get first dibs, bruv. You know so, you interested?

What, in you? Huh?

You offering, Fats? I didn't know you felt that way.

No. No... Actually, come to think about it.

No. So you're not into... Are you into women or are you not...?

Because it doesn't matter who you're into.

So, it's a bit early for you to be drinking, innit?

Alfie lets me come in here for small change.

OK. Well.

I'm the manager now, so...

You're manager?

That's what you've always wanted.

Yeah, it is... Hey, that is some bachelor bed you ordered. Firm. Bouncy.

You wasted no time getting the lady-catching den ready, then?

I hope you enjoy it.

Nice one.

Look, it's sweet of you to check on me but I'm fine.

Really. Good. But I... We. We need your help.

25, mate. No. I ain't paying 25 for delivery. I'll give you 20.

All right, come on. Is that your granddaughter?

Tiff? It's just it's against regulations, so...

What you doing? Getting money. So you'll stay.

You don't beg, darling. We did. When we were on the streets. Mum taught us...

Come on, people are looking. Get up. You said it was OK. Come on. This how you make your money?

You said it was OK. What were you doing?

Ain't you messed with enough members of this family already? It's not what it looks like.

Dex. Mate, it's your dad.

We can borrow one of...

She's asleep.

Good.

I would never ever have forgiven myself if...

I know, I know, I know. It's hard. It's so hard.

You were exhausted. Alice said, you were exhausted.

She just... she wouldn't stop crying...

Sorry... Thank you.

She could have died.

Get off me.

There you go. You admit it?

No. No, I'm sorry. I can't do it. You'll have to find someone else.

But I trust you to look after her. I told you. I can't do it, OK.

I can't do it because I'm busy working. For Phil. I know. But he agreed. He obviously trusts you too.

Ronnie, I know what it is like for people to stare at you, you know.

And be told that you can't look after your kid.

Well, I'm sure you've proved them wrong. Yes, I did. But it was hard, all right?

I had to beg the courts to give me a chance.

No-one thought I could do it.

I bet you're a really good mum.

Yeah, I bet you was too... I know you was.

When she got taken from me, I went mad.

I completely lost it. I did crazy stuff, just like you did.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure work can manage for a bit without me anyway, so...

Look, I'm sorry I couldn't help, OK.

Do you want to hold her?

I trust you.

Look, Ronnie, you wasn't a monster. You was a mum.

She's beautiful.

It was one second. And it could have happened to anyone.

It happened to you, Janine. It happened to you.

You know, I'm saddened but I'm not surprised.

Cos I really did think that you may have something in your heart. For your child.

I do. I love her. You ignored her when she was ill. You turned down help.

No, no, no, wait... What are you even talking about, Michael? You're twisting this.

No, I'm not. You don't have a shred of a mother's instinct, do you?

And this is proof positive. Fine. OK, you can say whatever you like, all right.

But you will not take away my little girl.

Do you think there's any judge,

or decent rational human being would allow you to keep her?

So thank you. Because you've just given me everything.

Mum!

Oh, baby. Mum, is he all right?

I thought we'd lost him.

Dexter's here, Sam.

His lungs are filling with fluid and his kidneys are failing.

Look, the doctors think that they're going to move the operation.

They want it to be sooner. Could even be tomorrow.

# Say the bells of St Martin's

# When will you pay me?

# Say the bells of Old Bailey

# When I grow rich

# Say the bells of Shoreditch

# When will that be?

# Say the bells at Stepney

# I do not know

# Say the great bells at Bow. #

Here comes a candle to light you to bed

and here comes a chopper to chop off Daddy's head.

..and there's also the chance of infection

and the risk of the remaining kidney failing.

But these are worst-case scenarios.

For someone of your age and good health,

we wouldn't expect any complications.

The anaesthetist will come and talk to you about the specific risks

associated with the anaesthetic.

I'll leave the consent form with you so you can read it through

and you'll need to sign it by the end of the day.

If you have any final questions, you know where I am.

Dexter?

Are you OK?

I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

Dexter!

Let him go.

Yeah, and if you needed a kidney, I'd give you one of mine.

Aw, thanks, sis.

Yeah, same goes to you.

Just as long as you don't need a liver.

Hello, campers.

Nan!

Oh!

Oh, what a lovely welcome.

Come on, what have I missed?

I knew she'd crack eventually.

Beneath that harsh exterior is a very fragile mind.

It's in the genes, you know.

She's weak.

PHONE RINGS

It's Janine. I should go. I'm late.

No, don't.

Let's see how she copes on her own for a bit.

Let the seed of doubt take root.

No, I really should go, Michael...

"Once all struggle's are grasped, Alice, miracles are possible."

That's Mao.

Oh, you look smart. Where're you off to? Court? Very funny.

Actually, if you must know,

it's my interview for teaching assistant today.

Oh, right. I could give you a few tips if you like.

How to sweet-talk the interviewer.

It's just like closing a deal, really.

And when it comes to closing deals, I'm your man.

I've got a few things on the go at the moment, as it happens.

Well, I think can manage, thank you.

And besides, Ava's doing the interview today

so it's kind of a done deal.

Right.

I don't know why you went running to Michael

but I really need you here now, so...

FRONT DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES Finally!

Only me. Alice is unwell.

How convenient. Yeah, she's probably got Scarlett's bug.

So you just thought you'd let yourself in?

Yeah, I borrowed her keys. How is Scarlett?

Scarlett is fine. Cos I thought if you were busy with your work,

which clearly you are, I would take her to the doctor's for you.

There's no need, I took her to the doctor's this morning

and he confirmed it was just a cold. Nothing serious.

Very good. Very good parenting skills.

Right.

So you'll be able to manage on your own without Alice today, yeah?

What?

I wouldn't because I'm a bad mother?

OK. Maybe I overstepped the mark.

So you think I'm a good mother?

Let's not be hasty. You try your best.

But we could all do with some help from time to time.

Well, I don't need any help.

Especially not yours.

So you can see yourself out.

OK. That's very clear.

Just try and avoid any accidents, would be my only...

Just get out, Michael.

And, just an observation,

but this place could do with a bit of a tidy up.

I'm going.

Can I just get two coffees to go, please?

You look nice. Thanks. So do you. All set for the big day?

Oh, yeah. No sweat.

We should go out later. Celebrate. I'm skint.

I thought you'd be raking it in.

I wish. I'm more like the dogsbody,

I wish. I'm more like the dogsbody,

and Danny's the one making all the money.

At least you've got some nice eye candy at work.

Do you think?

As if you ain't noticed.

PHONE RINGS

I got your text.

You OK?

The operation got brought forward.

Right. Did you tell 'em?

Right, well, it is good you told them how you felt.

Is it? Yeah.

Dex, how did they take it?

Well, look, if you want I can always come back to the hospital with you.

What's the point of me being there if I'm not going to go through?

You should be there to support your dad.

So what, you judging me as well now? No. Of course not.

Well, that's what it sounds like, Abi. Dexter!

You know what, just forget it. I can't do this.

I'm going to work.

Walford General Hospital.

5 Albert Square. How much?

OK. Quick as you can.

KNOCK ON THE DOOR

Patrick.

Can I come in?

I was just on my way out.

Is everything all right?

Let me see.

I come home to find my weasel ex son-in-law banged up in prison,

while his Afghan Hound of a wife is playing happy families

with my granddaughters, who are working their fingers to the bone

trying to keep this family afloat.

And my grandson is about to have his kidney ripped out.

Haven't forgotten anything, have I?

Look, I just didn't think it was in my place to say anything.

Why don't I make it up to you? Take you out for lunch, hmm?

I don't think so. I'm on my way to the hospital.

So, what?

You'd rather go barging in there like a bull in a china shop?

What would you prefer I did?

Made small talk over a whiskey and sour

while my grandson makes the biggest mistake of his young life?

Look, it's a brave thing that boy's doing.

It's a stupid thing! And you should have told me.

Maybe if...Dexter wanted you to know,

he would've have told you himself.

Yeah, I had trials for West Ham when I was younger.

Really? Hmm.

Wow. You must have been pretty good.

I was all right, you know.

Oh!

Would you two get a room?

In fact, you should be doing what I pay you to do instead. OK?

Um, yeah, actually, about that...

I was wondering if there was any chance of a pay rise?

What for? Sitting around and flirting?

Um, well you did say that if I proved myself

then I'd be on equal footing with Danny,

and I did step up those rent increases.

Fine. Lucy, you are now also responsible for new business.

Danny, can show you the ropes.

Yes, boss. And just so you two don't get too cosy,

you're both in competition with each other for commission.

May the best minion win.

So, looks like we're going to be working together

more closely from now on.

You know, she's actually in a worse state than I thought.

Yeah. She's trying to maintain the facade, but she's hurting.

She's really hurting.

So you're actually enjoying this? Yeah. It's great.

It transcends enjoyment, actually.

I am luxuriating in it.

I'm sating myself with her misery.

I think I should go round there, and at least apologise for yesterday.

You can't. I told her you were sick. What did you do that for?

Well, thanks for nothing. She'll be even angrier at me now.

Go round there then. Well, I can't. You've told her I'm sick.

Tell her you got better.

No don't, tell her that you were too scared to go round there.

Yeah, she'll like that. Keep her on the back foot.

See how she's coping.

See you later.

What do you mean you ain't got one?

You sell classic car parts, don't you?

Got a problem? What do you want?

I found out about some cheap booze.

Thought you might be interested for the club.

And why would I want to do business with you?

We were going to do business together before Max tried to do us in.

You've got some front, ain't ya?

First of all you try and muscle in on my club, now you try

and sell me some dodgy booze for it. Hands up. I was out of line,

but I was just trying to test, see whether Ronnie was up to the job.

As far as I can tell, we've been stitched up by the Brannings.

And I don't know about you, but I don't like being stitched up.

Well, unless you've got a wing mirror for a 1973 Austin Allegro,

I ain't interested.

That means, sling your hook.

What's he want? Nothing.

Just get on with your work.

So, feeling better, are we?

I wasn't really ill.

I'd gathered that much.

I'm sorry, Janine. What for?

Running to Michael behind my back or lying about being ill?

How's Scarlett?

Scarlett's fine. Why would you even go to him?

I didn't. Of course you didn't.

No, I actually didn't. I just told him that Scarlett was ill.

Oh. So it was Saint Michael to the rescue.

Look, I know you two don't really see eye to eye at the minute...

And never will.

So Scarlett just grows up with both her parents at each other's throats?

I know this really isn't my place to say,

but neither of you are exactly perfect.

You both care about Scarlett,

so no matter what you think about Michael,

he's always going to be her dad.

Shall I take her for the afternoon?

No. No, actually you can have the day off.

Well, go on, run along. Go and see that weird little boyfriend of yours

or something. I've got things to do.

PHONE RINGS

Are you sure you should be here?

And I suppose you think I should be at the hospital too, yeah?

Do you know what, Jay, I proper don't understand you!

Weren't you the one that was against the whole thing?

I am. I just meant... Oh, just forget it, man.

Where you going?

No-one's angry with you, Dex,

and there's no pressure on you to do anything that you don't want to do.

I just want to know you're OK.

I love you.

Why don't you take me for a drink later on your commission?

Little thank you for showing you the ropes.

Maybe.

Please, Patrick,

don't tell me you're going to give me a hard time too.

You hiding from your gran too?

What? Nan's back? And on the warpath!

Yeah, man. She went charging off to the hospital like a greyhound.

Maybe I'll stay here then.

PHONE RINGS

Ain't you going to answer that?

Mum going spare.

She's probably worried about you.

Worried Dad won't get his kidney more like.

You know, son,

that is a brave thing you're thinking of doing.

So everyone keeps telling me.

It's OK to be scared. Look, I ain't scared.

Then why did you run away? I didn't run away.

Look, son,

nobody is going to think any less of you if you can't go through with it.

I don't care what people think about me.

So you're worried what might happen to you if you do go through with it?

No! Then what? Look, I...

I'm worried how Mum will cope if something happens to me.

It's always just been the two of us.

But now...

I've got this opportunity to do something amazing.

To save my dad's life.

And I want to.

I do.

Even though Mum's against it.

And I just thought, "You know what, Dex,

"if you just talk up.

"Just say how you feel about it then you'll feel better."

But...

I didn't.

Look, I ain't scared.

Not for me.

I'm scared for Mum.

What am I going to do?

You go back to the hospital

and tell your mum exactly what you just told me.

Hello. All right?

I thought you might like to have her for a couple of hours.

I've got a meeting that I need to go to.

Why the change of heart? Do you want her or don't you?

Of course I want her. Good. Come to Daddy.

Here she comes. Have her back to me by 12.30.

Here she comes. Look at you. You're so big.

Aren't you? Look how big you've got.

Yeah. Can it not wait?

No, that's fine, I will be right over.

One of my stupid tenants has locked themselves out.

So, what's the problem?

I've got Mr Simmonds coming over in 20, so...

But you couldn't run the spare key over for me, could you?

Can't, I'm afraid. Got a client coming in myself in a minute.

I'll tell you what I could do, I could always keep Simmonds sweet

till you get back.

Yes! Thank you. You're a life-saver.

I tell you what, I will buy you that drink out of my commission.

PHONE BEEPS

Who's that? Your boyfriend?

You know, Lauren, you can do a lot better than Peter Beale.

I know.

Which is why I'm not seeing him. I'm seeing somebody else.

What? Who? Who're you seeing now?

Do you know what, Joey, just get off my back, will you?

Where did these come from?

I dunno.

What about the sheep?

Look, and there's a button.

There's a bell, look. Press the bell.

RINGS BELL

That's the lion. And the duck.

And the chicken.

And the frog.

And then just punch him in the head. That's it.

Give it a good old right-hander. Well done.

Crisis averted? Uh, yes, thank you.

Where's Mr Simmonds? He had to shoot off.

Great!

Don't worry, he did have a chance to sign the contract

just before he left. Ah!

Why does it have your name on it?

Cos I closed the deal.

This is my deal.

Well, so you say, I think the contract says different.

That's not fair.

All's fair in love and business, Lucy.

Yeah, I told you, I'll get back to you, yeah?

What do you want? Did you get the little present I sent you?

I suppose you think you're clever.

No, not me. I'm never the brains of the outfit.

I leave that to other people. I'm a fixer.

Get you whatever you want.

Which is why me and you'd make a good team.

You've got the brains and the outlets.

I've got the contacts.

Phil, listen, this booze deal,

it's too good to turn down.

Let me be the judge of that.

Let's go down the club and talk about it, yeah.

Er, Phil, can I borrow you a minute? Can't it wait?

No. Having a problem with this fan belt.

What's the problem? You ain't really doing business with him, are you?

You seemed happy enough to get involved with him

when I was in hospital. I had no choice then!

It's a bit of business, that's all. What kind of business?

Is it drugs?

We going or what?

The uh...

..deal's off. Phil...

I said the deal's off.

Ava weren't even there. She's gone to the hospital with Sam.

He stole all of my commission off of me.

It was more like an interrogation than an interview.

And that smug look on his face...

Great day all round then. All right, Whitney. How did the interview go?

Yeah. It was great. Well done. I knew you could do it.

A cup of tea, please, love.

Do you want me to go and get lunch?

Yeah.

Don't fancy paying, do you? Only I'm a bit short this month.

The erm... The thing is, Phil,

I'm a bit short on my rent as well at the B&B.

So, I was wondering...

..could I move back in for a bit?

You know, just to save me some money?

I know I've already asked and I know you said no.

But you'd be doing me a massive favour.

Well, I suppose if it helps you out I could er...

I could suffer it.