28/07/2011 EastEnders

"Sic transit gloria mundi."

What's he on about?

It's Latin, innit? Sic transit gloria mundi.

"Thus passes the glory of the world."

That's funny, cos I was sick once in the back of a Transit

with a girl called Gloria. And it was on a Monday.

-This was a 1908 Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

-Yeah, like hell it was.

-Well, it was as far as the insurance was concerned.

-What insurance?

If we had insurance, that's what I'm saying. If we had insurance, we could've cleaned up.

And as it is, I feel like I'm burying my own children.

-Oh, that's nice, innit?

-I want this back exactly like it was.

What, filthy, horrible and covered in dog muck?

I have been specially tasked by Walford Highways Department.

Fly-tipping is a criminal offence subject to a £50,000 fine and/or up to six months' imprisonment.

You have been warned. I want to see my face in that pavement when...

You want to see your face in the pavement, do ya?

-All right.

-Everyone's going to see your face in the pavement when I spread it there!

-Physically intimidated at 08:07...

-He's a strong-willed boy. I say a boy. Actually he's half pit-bull.

That's why we call him Fang. That's right, ain't it, Anthony?

Yeah. If you're sensible, you'll call him "sir".

If there's so much as a scorch mark left, I'm going to do you.

And I'm going to come back to check. Don't think I won't.

What are we going to do about your temper, eh?

Mo was wondering if you might give the upstairs a bit of a whizz round.

It's what with all these men staying here...

I normally do upstairs on a Friday. What day is it today?

-Yes, but the upstairs bathroom...

-Not a chance. I got the social coming round at eleven.

What's that about, then?

It's none of your business.

And you can forget about this lot. I'm not doing that either.

There's blood in there. Everywhere.

-What?

-In the men's toilets. Come and have a look.

-Well, whose blood?

Funnily enough, Jean, I haven't had the time to do a DNA analysis.

Michael.

As in Moon?

-Where are you going?

-To tell his father.

Oh, great, leave me to deal with it, then(!)

MUTED CHATTER

It's all over the toilet floor!

-How much blood are we talking?

-Loads!

So someone had a nose bleed.

No, but you see, it's not just someone. Look.

-That's Michael's.

-Yes, you see, that's what I'm saying.

-Do you think I should call the police?

-Is there a dead body?

-No.

-Just get it cleaned up.

-But it could be evidence.

Jeanie, Jeanie, you're letting your imagination carry you away.

Now, come on...off you go.

Don't look at me. How does she know it's Michael's blood?

-Might have been the other bloke's.

-Who else has it in for him?

-Whose husband, you mean?

Right, come on, this stuff ain't going to shift itself. Liam!

Can you give us a hand?

Fancy a ride in the pick-up,

in the Moon mobile?

You went all round the houses.

She's been in that bloomin' bathroom half an hour. what's she doing in there?

-Why don't you just go to work?

-I haven't even brushed my teeth.

She's sorting herself out, Greg. She's making the effort.

I never spend any time with you.

-Hello, Mum.

-Who is it?

Greg, be an angel and get my bags.

Taxi driver was rude, so I refused to give him a tip and he's put them on the pavement.

Mum's having trouble with her neighbours. I said, didn't I?

They've made my life pure hell. And you know what? The cops NEVER do a thing.

It's only for a few days.

Put the kettle on, darling. I'm gasping.

Those cases are going to get nicked

unless you go and pick them up, sharpish.

This social worker, yeah, she wants to check out

that we're a nice family, and that we've got good manners, OK?

Lola! I will not tell you again!

So... So, we've all got to be on our best behaviour, all right?

Mind our Ps and Qs and no-one,

no-one, mentions the word "squatting", OK? Cool.

Right, change of plan.

We're going to play hide and seek, OK?

But everyone's got to be really quiet, right?

So Daddy is just going to go and hide.

(Lola?)

(Lola!)

Oh, you're kidding me.

Thank you, Jean.

It's important to me.

What actually happened?

There's some stupid morons out there.

-I told your dad.

-Did you?

He didn't seem that concerned.

There's no change there, then.

Well, he thinks you started the fire.

-Why would I do that?

-Cos you don't like him very much.

(There are lots of people I don't like very much.)

I don't burn their stuff, do I?

So did he do it?

Do what?

Hit you?

Hit me?

Course he didn't HIT me.

I'm so relieved.

So who did?

Don't worry about it, Jean.

It'll be taken care of.

I've seen it all now.

"Honour thy father and thy mother,

"that thy days may be long upon the land

"which the Lord thy God giveth thee."

That's number five of the Ten Commandments.

The only commandment you ever cared about was the 11th -

"Thou shalt not get caught." And you couldn't even stick to that.

-Mum...

-What?

-I love you.

-Excuse me while I puke.

-Everything all right in here?

-Your sister's gone stark raving mad.

It's not me you need...

it's the men in white coats.

-PHONE BLEEPS

-"Thou shalt not kill."

Number six - "Thou shalt not commit adultery."

Number seven...

-Oh, no.

-What?

-It's a mini crisis at the salon.

-You're not leaving me alone with her?

Will you two just try and be nice to each other for once, please?

If I'm not back by lunch, Rainie'll make you something. You'll be all right.

-I'll see you later.

-See ya.

I still love you.

I'd rather be back with the neighbours from hell.

Bad enough having her sister there, she's a bad influence on the kids, but her mother as well?

Yeah, well, you should just tell her, mate.

I don't even get asked. You know what, it's like that house,

did I want to live where her ex can practically see in through the bedroom window?

Oi, her ex is my brother. Just bear that in mind.

Yeah, it's about time I asserted myself.

Made some of my own decisions for once, see how she likes it.

-Yeah, what's stopping you?

-Well, I will do. Soon.

-What happened to you?

-Bizarre gardening accident.

You were going to go and get some coffees, weren't you?

-Was I?

-Yeah.

-Right. Yeah.

Take your time.

So, what's this? Gunfight At The OK Corral?

I didn't sleep so well last night, Jack.

Well, I've heard cocoa does wonders. You should try it.

I lay awake...

thinking...

imagining...

.."How do I get him back?"

Yeah, I can imagine why a man might do that.

Baseball bat...

..that was my initial notion.

Maximum damage.

I want to...see his blood.

Quite like to hear him scream. Ever felt like that, Jack?

-Yeah, once or twice.

-Yeah.

Do I kill him or not? That was certainly there.

Yeah.

But then...

..it's better if he lives.

Cos if he's dead he's dead...

And the dead don't remember, Jack, do they?

And I want you to remember.

Yeah, well, I'll remember that tip, thanks, and I'll keep an eye out.

I had, then, a beautiful moment of clarity.

Do I want to go down for ten years?

Nah, I don't think so.

So it turned more towards,

"How do I make him suffer

"without physically hitting him? I know,

"maybe I'll tell him some details about his beloved Ronnie."

Mm? Mm.

Very enthusiastic, Jack.

Who would've thought it?

And all those scratch marks she left all the way down my back.

Ouch.

How's the heart rate, Jack? Is it beating along nicely?

How am I doing?

-HE GASPS

-But then, I thought, "No, that's immature."

"That's childish, Michael."

Yeah.

Seeing as I never actually did anything in the first place.

Not that I didn't think about it, any man would.

But that girl's got trouble written through her like a stick of rock.

And I'm not so stupid these days.

So...

..that's where I was -

a quandary -

I'm not going to hit him,

I'm not going to sexually humiliate him,

what's left?

-HE SNAPS

-I know,

maybe the knowledge...

..that he got it all wrong.

That he heard a piece of gossip

and he didn't apply logic, he didn't think about it,

he didn't ask questions, he was so paranoid

and low in self-confidence,

that he turned into a moron.

And the very FACT that you thought that was possible,

that this woman, your wife who you're supposed to trust implicitly,

would just throw herself at a bloke, like that?

What does that say about you?

You may be big and strong, Jack,

but you ain't much of a man, are you?

You know what?

I feel better already.

-What don't you understand about the words "public right of way"?

-We're running a business here.

Well, that is fine, provided you run your business

-FROM the business, and not halfway across the road.

-Listen, mate...

Go on! Go on, fight! fight!

Council policy states assaults upon staff will not be...

Yeah? And the Tyler Moon policy states that jumped up jobsworths like you will not...

Hey!

I leave you alone for five minutes.

-What are you doing?

-I'm going to report you, I've witnesses.

-No. I ain't a grass, yeah?

-I can sort it.

You haven't taken your medication today, have you? No, thought not.

Sorry about him. Here...

Here, Dad, can you?

For your trouble.

-Are you bribing me?

-I'm trying to be friendly, mate.

Meet me halfway, yeah? Be nice.

Just... Just get this lot shifted.

-What is it with you and violence, eh?

-Hey...

why's he keep looking at me? Are you some kind of perv?

If you don't want to be looked at, don't flaunt it, love.

-You what?!

-There you are! Billy's having kittens over you.

You knew the social worker was coming!

-Perv!

-Take no notice, Liam.

Some girls are like that. You want to steer well clear.

What is it, son?

Come on.

It's me.

I don't want to say.

Better out than in.

What is it?

Ask her who started that fire.

-What?

-The fire that burned all your stuff.

-Ask her.

-No, you're just saying that because she was horrible to you.

No.

Liam, this is no time for lies.

Now...look at me.

-And think before you answer.

-She told me yesterday.

She was bragging about it, I swear.

-There you go.

-Ta.

-Got nothing to say, then?

-D'you want to know who told me?

I know already. How do you get on with YOUR Dad?

The real family man.

Cor...

See ya.

Hang on, Michael...

..I'm sorry.

Good.

-You KNEW she was coming this morning!

-I HATE social workers.

-So you want to go back in the home?

-If that's how she wants to be, then let her.

-KNOCKING

-That's going to be her now. Best behaviour, right?

-Won't take long.

-Eddie, what are...

-I just need a word.

-What you got to say for yourself?

-Eddie, mate, sorry, but we're expecting...

I'm talking to her! Well?

-Dunno what you're talking about.

-You do.

Let me guess, Liam? What's that little scrote been saying about me...

-Hey, language.

-So you admit it?

-Look, what's this all about?

-Ask her! Go on, tell her.

-I ain't saying anything.

All that stock of mine that got burned out in the Square?

My entire business? Ask her who started the fire.

Look, he fancies me, only I don't fancy him, so obviously, he's making up lies about me.

I didn't hear it from him, so don't hide behind that.

So who d'you hear it from, then?

-Why shouldn't I go to the police?

-Eddie, please,

we've got a social worker coming in a minute...

She don't need a social worker!

Do you know what the penalty is for arson? Do ya?

Please, can we do this another time, eh?

If only for the kids, yeah?

I'll be watching you.

Thank you very much, darling. Have a nice day.

Hello, there you are! I was just bringing your coffees over.

No. You snooze, you lose. Cup of tea and a bacon roll, please.

-Oh, Janine...

-I'm sorry, who are you?

Oh, vaguely, yes. Tanya Branning's rebound?

Yeah, right. Listen, I hear you're looking for a house to buy round here.

There's only one thing worse than being gossiped about - not being gossiped about.

-Right, do you mind if I sit down?

-No.

Michael?

Oh, blimey.

Sorry, you'll have to give me a minute.

My line manager dumped three new cases on my desk

just as I was about to leave and I'm already way over my allocation.

-Hello!

-This is William and Janet.

My kids from my first... My second marriage.

-They already live with me, part-time.

-Us.

-Us. And this is...

-Lola! Hi!

-Hi.

-Sit down.

-Thanks.

-Do you want a cup of tea or something?

-Um...no.

I'm fine, thanks. I've got some water in here somewhere.

Oh, I don't know a social worker who isn't overworked.

Listen, what I said just now about extra case loads,

I don't think I should have mentioned that,

so can we pretend I didn't?

Anyway...Lola,

whole stack of questions to get through.

First off is accommodation.

-This is where Lola would be living, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. We know it's not ideal, but we like it, don't we?

-Yeah.

And it's permanent, is it? This flat?

Only I couldn't help noticing the "to let" sign outside.

Oh, that's been up there for ages.

We've been on at them to take it down, you know what estate agents are like.

Well, I'll need to see a copy of the tenancy agreement at some stage,

-but we can do that later...

-OK.

-Give Daddy a kiss.

-Aw...

Right, then.

Next question.

Fire away.

So who actually did that to you?

Don't matter. I'm leaving anyway.

-What?

-It's the story of my life, Anthony -

arrive, make enemies, leave.

-Yeah, but Dad knows you had nothing to do with the fire.

-Does he now?

What is the problem between you two?

-I just don't get it.

-There's so much you don't get, Anthony.

Yeah, like what?

Seen that?

-So?

-Turn it over.

-What about it?

-What about it? What's he told you about my mother?

-Just that she died.

-Died how?

-In a car accident.

Yeah? No.

No. She topped herself.

With sleeping pills

and a big bottle of sherry.

And I found the body.

And I was six.

-Why did Dad never say?

-Now THAT is an excellent question, Anthony.

How much longer are you going to be reading that?

I preferred it when you was a drug addict.

I love you, Mum.

At least you weren't pretending to be something you're not.

You know what, there's an awful lot of 'begatting' going on in here.

-That was my first mistake - begatting you.

-I still love you, Mum.

-Oh, for God's sake.

-Exactly!

-What?

-For your sake,

for my sake, but most of all, for God's sake.

Give me strength.

-All right?

-Hiya.

Where've you been? At last. She's driving me mental.

-You wouldn't need a survey.

-Have we got visitors?

-I can dig out the one we had done.

-Who's upstairs with Greg?

You'll have to ask him.

Hi!

Let me see Janine out, I'll explain in a sec.

So if you dig out that survey, that would be great.

I'll speak to my solicitor and then, well, maybe we can discuss money.

I'm assuming there'll be a discount for a quick sale?

-Sorry? What sale are we...

-Oh, I was particularly taken with your bedroom, Tanya.

Floral and pink, it's very... Very you.

-Hey, I'll be in touch.

-Yeah.

-Am I hearing right?

-Before you start,

-this is me asserting myself.

-Sorry?

-I want us to move house.

-What?

-You want the truth?

OK. I never wanted to come here in the first place.

I just went along with it to keep you sweet.

Just like I go along with everything to keep you sweet.

Well, enough. First your sister, then her. I've had it.

I want to live in a place that belongs to me as much as it belongs to you.

Where we can make decisions TOGETHER.

Where we can raise our baby together.

(Is it Mum and Rainie, is that the problem?)

We never spend enough time alone.

(I'll get rid of them.)

You just don't understand.

I do. Oh, I do.

Greg, I do understand, I...

I haven't been thinking of you and I'm sorry, I am.

But let's not rush into anything, eh?

Look, I'll get rid of Mum and Rainie and then we can take it from there.

I love you.

Oh, come here, I'm sorry.

< Get a job, girl!

Michael barely knew his mother. He was too young.

He's put her up on a pedestal and that's where he wants to keep her.

Yeah, but why did you never tell us?

-Look, can we have this conversation some other time? I've got invoices...

-No. No, Dad.

I need to know why you never told us.

All right, you want to know?

Because it was the most painful and difficult period

in my entire life and talking about it still hurts.

-Does Michael know that?

-I've tried to talk to him about it, but all I get is abuse.

-So what am I supposed to do?

-I think he'll listen now.

-Why do you say that?

-I've persuaded him to meet you in the pub this lunchtime.

-What?

-For all our sakes. Please, Dad.

-Right, I think we're just about done.

-And?

All I can do is prepare my report, the actual decision will be made elsewhere.

-But they're going to read what you've written, aren't they?

-Well, yeah, of course.

-So?

-Look, I can't make any guarantees,

but strictly off the record and assuming that everything you've told me is true...

RATTLING

KNOCKING

-Aren't you going to answer that?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Won't be a minute.

Who the hell are you?

Let me get you a drink.

Is that a good idea, considering what happened last time?

-Just look at it as a gesture, yeah.

-I appreciate that, but no, thanks.

I actually came in here looking for your old man.

And why would you want to do that?

Because I don't like being made a monkey of.

If you want to make a gesture, don't say anything.

-Why's that?

-Why? Cos I'm going to get him, my way.

And how are you going to do that?

Oh, it's going to be good. Don't get me wrong, because I love you,

but I don't really go a bundle on this modus operandi of yours. All that fisticuffs stuff.

It's all a bit trite, know what I mean?

Not very sophisticated.

So what are you going to do?

Stick around, he'll be here in a minute.

Watch and learn. All will be taken care of.

The thing you got to understand about Greg is he's, you know,

happy go lucky all the time, and wants a quiet life,

wants to please and then something happens and he just goes off on one.

Men are like dogs, if they're not properly house trained they poo all over the carpet.

-So anyway, the thing is...

-He wants us out.

Well, he's talking about moving. That's not going to happen

cos I've only just got this place the way I want it, I'm not going anywhere.

Just say it, Tan. You want us both to leave.

-Out on the streets.

-No, no, that's my whole point.

You're family, right? There's no way I'm going to kick you out.

Look, I can handle Greg, yeah? But for now, please, will you just...

Just be nice to him, you know. Stay out of his way. And look interested when he talks and that.

You're asking the impossible now, girl.

Mum, please. Will you just try?

I am so sorry about that, massive misunderstanding.

Amount of hassle I've had with them estate agents.

-I'll have a word with their managing director.

-Well, I hope you get it sorted out.

The welfare of my kids, that's what comes first.

There ain't no way I'm going to see them go homeless.

I'll be in touch.

Annie, you know Julie and me was both in care?

So we know what it's like. That's what this is all about.

Do you understand?

-I'm going to do my very best for you all.

-Thank you.

It's just a mess, innit?

And that's my fault. I hold my hands up.

See Tyler?

That was me when I was his age.

Took a lot of work to change.

Still a struggle.

I still screw up over and over, but...

a lot of the screw ups have been to do with you.

No-one knows more than me how I've let you down.

So what are you saying?

Anthony says you're thinking of moving on.

If you do that...

..we're going to miss this chance.

Our best chance.

Of what?

Working things through.

Healing the wounds.

Becoming a proper father and son.

Say you'll stay.

I love you, Son.

I love you, too, Dad.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail: [email protected]