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EXAMPLE BLARES FROM VAN
# If we don't kid ourselves
# Will they believe us if we tell them the reasons why?
# Did we take it... #
Why don't you show a bit of respect?
-Shall I get you some breakfast?
-No, Liam's done it.
Yeah, he made Morgan's, too.
I'll take them out later, if you want. Take their minds off things.
Coffee? It is still just coffee in the mornings?
Bring on the world.
Hey? What's that?
Something Nana Pat used to say.
Are you going to cry every time someone says her name?
Yeah. Every single time.
Any tea going?
Yeah, there would be. If you filled the kettle.
Do you like Nana Pat's card?
See, see? Said it, didn't I?
-Can you give us a hand with your bedding?
-Need some fresh air?
-What, out here?
-I'll be in in a minute, Carol.
All right. OK. Take your time.
It ain't going to fill itself, you know.
Pat was on at me for ages to fix this.
WASHING MACHINE HUMS
Just leave 'em.
How is this going to help - sitting in pitch darkness?
Look, I'll be out by the end of the day, OK?
I'm just running some clothes through the machine.
'Chelle. You got my message, yeah?
Just listen, will you? Yeah, erm... It's Pat.
KAT ON RADIO: Something's broken, Jean.
And I don't see how we can fix it.
-Even the birds have stopped singing out there.
Well, not what's happened, that's not lovely.
It'd just be lovely if Pat could see it all.
But then, they wouldn't be doing it. There'd be no need.
Oh, you know what I mean. It's just funny, isn't it?
When you're with family and friends,
you don't really know what they think about you.
(JANINE) Yes, it's just come in.
Well, I think it's all here...
Look, don't shoot, OK?
I've finally managed to raise most of that money for Pat.
That should put a smile on the old girl's face, eh?
-Give her a nice, happy New Year?
-Yes, I'll be here all morning.
No, Billy, I'm crossing the Andes by elephant.
Everywhere else is all shut up.
-Another day, another dollar.
-It's like a ghost town.
I'll be sure to clear up, then, won't I?
Being the only business actually open.
-I'll be well ahead of the game.
-Is everything all right?
-Come here, come here, it's all right.
It's all right. Come here. All right, sit down, sit down.
Look, I'll... I'll give Michael a ring, yeah?
-Who's that for?
It's traditional, isn't it? Can't go round empty-handed.
You might be better off baking one for Phil.
Putting a pair of wire cutters into it,
sending it into the nick.
-Might be the only way to get him out of there.
See you later.
You know, Jay's right.
They've been waiting for a chance for years.
And all the scores the police have got to settle with your dad,
that's what he's looking at, too. Years.
And that's with good behaviour
and we all know that your old man ain't exactly a choirboy, is he?
So, it might not even be years, Ben. It could be for good.
Richie's right - it could be for good.
Oh, ho-ho! Couldn't hear a pin drop out here this morning.
Might've known it'd be one of your lot, spoils it.
Been looking all over for you.
It's only a thought. So, if you hate it, just say so. And it's on us.
We're not looking to make a quick buck or anything.
We thought that because Pat was in the Vic for so long,
we could open up for a couple of hours. Anyone can come in, share their memories.
I think that's a lovely idea.
Yeah, it is. Thanks, Kat. Cheers, thanks a lot.
-I'll spread the word, then, yeah?
-12 o'clock? See you later.
Maybe we should all wear something really colourful, you know?
You know, some sort of tribute.
Well, we should start thinking about the funeral, though.
-Come on, someone's got to say it.
-Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
We'll have to sort out about the church.
Cathedral, more like. World and his wife'll want to come.
Have to see who wants to speak.
-You'll want to say something, won't you?
-She'd turn in her grave.
There's the catering. I suppose Ian could do that. Well, it's only fair.
-He's known Pat for years.
-Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Uncle Norman just wanted to come and pay his respects.
Yeah, I'm so sorry. Really, so sorry.
Look, why don't you stay for a bit?
I know it's awful - you know, us being here and Pat...
Come here, come here.
All right to come in? The door was open.
Yeah, course. Everyone's welcome.
I've brought something over. Something of Pat's.
Right, do you want to come in?
Stop that, please.
Oh, sorry. What's wrong?
Pat died last night.
I think Janine was trying to pretend that she hadn't, you know?
Anyway, that's all your order there, yeah?
And we're really sorry about Pat. You know, please tell Janine.
From both of us.
Yeah, she said you might want to check it all out, you know.
-Make sure everything's there.
Yeah. It can't go back to the suppliers in a month's time if there's stuff missing.
I've got an appointment.
Well, listen, I'm not exactly meant to be here myself, all right?
-I'm just doing a favour.
-I just got my nails done.
I'll give Janine a bell, then, shall I? Tell her to come back from Pat's,
only we've got a real crisis on our hands here.
It was Clacton. 1958.
We both went in for this beauty contest - Miss Butlins.
Pat, well, she won it hands down, didn't she?
Me? I wasn't even in the top ten.
-That's where she first met your dad.
I'm sure she gave one of the judges the eye.
Anyway, we went out on the razzle, didn't we? Celebrating.
And I really wanted to win.
So, I took it - her sash.
Told her we'd lost it going from pub to pub.
And all I've been thinking of...
..ever since I woke up this morning...
..was giving her back Miss Butlins.
Told Libs and Chelsea last night. I got hold of Carly this morning.
Oh, Patrick, they were all so upset.
Do you know, it's one of the happiest times we had,
all bunking down at Pat's. Me and the kids.
It's true what they say, isn't it? The good die young.
-Except Pat weren't exactly young.
-Not exactly good, either.
Yeah. Reckon that's what you liked about her.
That's what I loved about her.
No. Thanks, Carol. No. I do appreciate that, yeah.
Yeah, course I'll be there. All right, yeah. Bye.
You going somewhere?
Kat and Alfie are having some drinks in the Vic for Pat.
I did know her too, you know?
-And I liked her.
-And do you think she'd like you at the moment?
-Or is this your way of saying you'd like to be there, as well?
-I ain't saying that.
You're the last thing Bianca needs.
I keep doing this, too.
-What was all that about?
-You and Ricky.
-Why, you interested?
-Course I'm interested.
Were you actually going to say, because I'm your Dad?
Well, I thought you could do with a laugh.
I thought it might be more practical.
I could've brought another cake but the last one didn't seem to go down too well,
-so I thought it'd be more useful.
-Yeah, Dot's volunteered to look after it.
Pat used to keep it ever so shiny.
Oh, I don't mean that you wouldn't, of course,
and I don't want to intrude if you don't think it's my place.
That'd be really lovely, Dot.
I could go now. Give it a quick rub.
-What do you think?
-What do you reckon?
I'd say that was the sort of offer that Dad couldn't refuse.
You go and give it a little rub, Dot.
Tiff did that...
..for Nana Pat.
That the best you can do? Come here, Morgan.
You need help.
-Finally decided to come back, have you?
-I don't smoke.
Neither do I.
-Should we put some grub out?
-Oh, that's a great idea.
Nothing fancy, just crisps and nuts and that.
You and Alfie sort it. Me and Anthony'll finish off.
-Actually, me and Ant are nipping down to the cash and carry.
-Don't want to run out of booze.
-We've got enough to sink a ship.
-Just in case.
-I think it's lovely. Well, it's not lovely, but...
-She's off again.
-It's just everyone rallying round.
-It's what the Duchess would have done.
Never mind Peggy. It's what you two are doing together.
-You and Kat.
-Ant, come on. Let's go.
Their chief witness will withdraw their statement. That's what Richie's been told.
And is that going to be it?
If they go back on what they've said, they're going to drop everything?
Unless my mystery admirer starts up again.
Maybe they've shot their bolt.
We've got some news for you, haven't we, Ben?
-Something happened while you were away.
I met one of the market boys as I was coming out of the Tube.
I thought Pat was like Mum. Thought she'd go on forever.
I know we weren't the best of mates, but still...
Right. I'll call Mum. She's going to want to know, ain't she?
-Where you going?
-Have a bath. Wash the prison off.
Did you know he was getting out?
I got a whisper, yeah.
So, all that, earlier - about Dad being banged up for years
-and all them scores to settle.
-Freak you, did it? Good.
You remember that. You remember how that felt.
And you keep remembering.
-Why don't we take the car?
-I don't want to drive.
I want to walk, get some exercise. Breathe it in.
-What's the matter?
Inside. It's horrible! It's big. Legs - hairy legs.
-I just left Mo in the pub.
-Look, I'll sort this.
Yeah, Albert Square, please.
About one o'clock. Yeah.
Just get the guy to call me on this number when he gets here.
Great. OK, thanks.
-Everything all right?
-What do you think?
My stepmum's just died.
-Bianca's just about to kick me out.
So, what do you think, then? Me and you?
Was it worth it?
-What do you reckon, Ant?
-One bite from that and you're dead.
Doesn't need a bite. It just needs to stare at you. We should call the Marines.
No, SAS. They've got them stun guns.
-Maybe it's the SAS AND the Marines.
-Just get rid of it, will you?
-OK. All right.
-No, that's horrible, it'll crunch.
-So, what do you want me to do?
-Just get it outside.
-I don't know.
-Pick it up.
-I ain't picking it up! Have you seen the size of it?
-I'm not picking it up.
-Alfie, stand back. I'll do it.
"Stand back, Alfie. I'll do it"?
Be careful, all right, cos they do bite.
Go on, that's it, nearly got it.
Go, go, go. He's got it and all. Well done. Good lad!
Let me get out, let me get out, let me get out.
Make sure it goes over there.
Send him towards the Chippy. Go on, over to the Chippy.
-Alfie, she is seriously fit.
-Amira? Yeah, she's attractive, isn't she?
Attractive? Alfie, she is a goddess.
-So, what was all that about?
You and Anthony Moon?
Oh, you mean my knight in shining armour.
Sorry, did it bother you?
Why, was it supposed to?
Prefer a meat and potato pie.
I just didn't think you'd get out, that's all.
Yeah, well, I have, ain't I? And I will sort this.
I promise you, I will sort it.
What does that mean?
You're going to go round kicking seven bells out of someone?
-We'll have police knocking down our door.
-Am I supposed to just take it?
What did they do? They got you banged up for a couple of days.
-Well, that's enough, ain't it?
-So, you'll give them a chance to put you away even longer?
I ain't having some lowlife having one over on me.
Shirl's right - they tried their best.
They gave it their all. But it didn't work.
Dad, it's over.
-You ready? Or you got other plans?
Right, good. You can drop Tiff off at Jane's with Bobby, yeah?
I'll finish clearing up. It's a perfect chance for you two to get acquainted.
No need, Mum's told me all about you.
-You were with gran, right?
-Well, till you walked out on her.
Is that what your mum said?
Actually, she said ran out.
Why don't you two get going, eh?
That's just the start.
I know lots more. Grandad.
-See you later.
-Yeah, see you.
-Motormouth's forgot her gloves.
-Just give me a minute, yeah?
Take your time.
-Here you go.
-Where are we going?
-Over the Vic. Just phoned Jay. He's going to meet us there.
-No, Phil, today is not a day for causing trouble.
-I ain't going to cause trouble.
This is about us showing our respects to Pat.
-All of us, as a family.
-It's a nice idea.
Well, it's not mine. It's Ben's.
Listen up, everybody. Shh. Nice and quiet, now.
Come on, we all know why we're here.
And I'm pretty sure a lot of us wish we weren't.
But, Pat was... Will always be a...
Well, she meant a lot of things to a lot of different people.
First of all, she was a mum.
She was a grandmum,
an aunty, a friend,
a drinking partner
-and a hell-raiser.
-Oh, I say.
She was all those things and much, much more.
But, to me, Pat will always be number one in our book.
So, everybody, I want you to raise your glasses to Pat.
The one and only.
ALL: The one and only. Pat!
KAT: That was a nice speech.
Well, no, it wasn't so much a speech. Just a few words, that's all.
They're the best kind, ain't they? Straight from the heart.
Yeah, it's always the best way. Say what you mean.
Have it out there. Excuse me.
Don't worry. I'm not stopping.
I haven't come to make a scene, either.
I just wanted to say I'm really sorry...
..about what I did - you didn't deserve that.
I wish it had never happened.
So, why do it, then? You and Ricky - why?
-It really wasn't about Ricky.
-What does that mean?
So, what do you want me to do? Move out?
-You got a better offer?
-You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Not that good or you wouldn't have hopped into bed with someone else.
-That was a mistake.
-You all right, Phil?
Put a drink behind the bar for anyone who wants one. For Pat.
What is this?
And you can be the first. A drink for Denise and Patrick.
-The police have seen sense. That's what it is.
-They let Phil out.
-And he's staying out.
-No hard feelings, though, eh?
-No, it's OK.
I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
Today of all days. Come on, Patrick.
What was that all about back there?
I heard you, Kat.
On the Nanny Cam. Christmas Day.
Why didn't you tell me how you feel?
You'll tell Jean, but you won't tell me?
Yeah, tell him I'll be out in a minute. Thank you.
It's the first time I've heard you say sorry
and it actually sounded like you meant it.
So, if this wasn't about Ricky, what else was it about?
Or is this just another one of your games?
Her name was Kira, OK?
Ricky didn't even know she'd been born.
And I've stopped myself thinking about her all these years...
..and then, I saw Ricky and...
She was tiny. So tiny.
And I looked at her and I thought - I've done this.
I've finally done something good with my life.
And I promised her I would be good for her, too.
From then on and forever.
And then, the doctors came and...
..she died, Ian.
Died in my arms.
Did you mean that? Everything you said to your dad?
Is it over?
What about you?
Are you going to say anything?
I was 17.
I was just a kid myself.
And you know what I was like back then.
But I wouldn't have been like that.
Not if she'd have lived. I know I wouldn't.
I would have turned it around.
I would've done it for her.
So, erm, I didn't do it to hurt you.
I meant that.
I don't know. When I saw Ricky, it was like turning the clocks back.
Like, being close to him was like being close to her again.
And were you?
-Closer to her?
No, of course not.
Still. It was fun finding out, wasn't it?
There's always a plus side.
You are sick.
You sleep with an ex-boyfriend to try and get close to a dead child
and you think I'm sick?
Sick and very sad.
You know, I feel sorry for you.
Just imagine it - all those days and nights
you've got stretched out in front of you with no-one here.
No-one wanting to be here. Even Pat's gone, now.
It's just you, Ian.
You and your chips and your veg.
Is that really what you want out of your life?
No, course not.
So, you want me to go?
Never dull round here, is it?
I hope you're not planning on doing anything stupid.
-I've got my mother's funeral to sort out.
-There's a bus in five minutes. Why don't you be under it?
-Keep on like this, Derek, I'll start thinking I'm not welcome.
-So far as you're concerned.
-So far as everyone's concerned.
-That's not the impression I've been getting.
-There you go.
My mum wanted me here and she'd have wanted me to stay.
So, I'm staying.
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