26/01/2012 EastEnders

We've run out of rolls, so you'll have to have some bread.

Is the Missus about?

Um, no, no. Shirley, she's not in till later.

-That's why I'm covering for her.

-Well, not to worry. I'm sure she'll be looking for me sooner or later.

Spread the word. Spread the word. Kimberley Fox is mobile.

Snips, clips and lips. I am your one-stop beauty shop.

Kim? I was hoping I'd bump into you.

Oh, is that the time? I promised Rose a Brazilian.

Sorry.

All right, Ben?

Well, I suppose that's one good thing about you staying here.

I ain't got to worry about you catching a sneaky peek now, have I?

You worried about your old man, babe?

Cos I ain't being funny, darling, but he's had it coming for years.

-I'm late for school.

-If Shirley gives you any grief, come and find one of us, yeah?

-Yeah, all right.

-All right.

-Jane.

-Hi, Ben.

-Morning.

-Hiya.

-Is Bobby ready?

-Ready for what?

-Well, sometimes he likes to go to school.

If someone remembers to take him.

-Right, I can do that.

-Oh, no, it's just that I'm leaving tomorrow, so I was...

-It's Ok. I can always see him later.

-Sure?

Now you mention it. Where is Bobby?

Lost him again?

Bobby? Bobby?

-Right, well I should get off. I've got lots to do.

-See ya.

So you're really going, then? It's just...

-You and Dad worked so well together, the other day.

-Lucy.

He's not happy, you know. Not like when he was with you.

We've both moved on, love.

Let's not try and rewrite history, eh?

-What time are you opening the salon?

-I'm not.

I mean, Gaynor is doing it for me. I've got to go and see the oncologist.

-Is everything all right?

-Yeah, yeah, it's fine, it's just routine.

Nah, nah, I'll get Fatboy to cover.

No, It's just a catch-up. You don't have to be there.

I'll come if you want.

Honestly, it's fine. Anyway, Jane's coming with me, ain't she?

Car lot.

What? So, am I not working at the salon still, then?

Not after what you done yesterday. Go on, get over there.

Go on, make a start, scrape the ice off the motors.

-I'll be over there in a minute, all right?

-Bye.

-Bye.

You sure everything's all right?

It's just routine, honestly.

Oh, come on, get a shifty on!

I don't want your school thinking I'm a bad parent.

Go join your mates, then.

Just the ladies I've been looking for. Kim's Snips is in business.

I'll stick you both down for a emergency consultation, shall I?

Tiff had a sleepover, we overslept.

Here, what was Ian thinking, trading Jane in for that, eh?

I will pick you up at the school gates at four o'clock, yeah?

3:15.

Since when?

Since always.

If Ian had any sense, he'd send you back to that knocking shop of yours.

Look, B...

Much as I love a rumble, I'll leave you two to it, yeah?

It's only the start, you know.

There's parents evenings, school trips.

-Show and flamin' tell.

-I know what I'm taking on.

Do ya? Tiff had nits three times last term.

Liam caught impetigo off a kid on the bus. And Morgan?

He's riddled with worms.

Same place tomorrow, then, eh?

Not if I've got anything to do with it.

So, is it true? You're moving to Cardiff?

Yeah, I was going to tell you.

-When? A text from the train?

-It's been a difficult week.

-When are you leaving?

-Tomorrow.

-I don't believe this!

-Look, just be happy for me, Mas.

How can I be, when I'm losing my friend?

Hello. Has she told you the news?

She's decided to stay! Couldn't stand the thought of leaving Walford after all, could you?

-Is that right?

-Yeah.

Why don't I leave you two to talk about your plans, eh?

-Listen, Tan, I...

-I'm glad I bumped into you.

Say no if it's a problem... but I have already told Max that you'd come with me.

It's for a chat with my consultant about aftercare. It's nothing really, but...

Yeah, you don't have to ask.

Yeah? Oh, good, I thought we could go out afterwards. You know, toast the future!

Yeah, I'd like that.

You all right, Jay?

You heard from Phil?

Well, I'm sure he'll be in touch when he wants something.

How's it going?

It needs new brake pads and an oil change. That ain't even enough to pay my wages.

Well, I can pick the pads up for ya.

No offence, Shirl, but you don't know the first thing about cars, do ya?

No, all right.

But you remember what I told you -

we keep this place ticking over as normal until Phil gets back.

-PHONE RINGS

-Ain't you going to get that?

Hello.

Anyone comes sniffing round, you come and find me, yeah?

Yeah, she's just left.

Come on, then. Flick the switch.

What happens now?

Well, I give Shirley a week until she's run all those businesses into the ground.

-Dad?

-Mm?

Do you ever think what might've happened if you'd stayed with Jane?

What's brought this on, Lucy?

I've been thinking, haven't I? If I hadn't been such a cow, you might not have split up.

Look, to be honest with you, it was you kids that kept us together as long as we were.

-But you did love her once, though, didn't you?

-Yeah, course I did.

-Look, I know it's difficult, but people move on, all right. I'm with Mandy now.

-But are you happy?

Yeah. Look, I'm happier than I've been in a long time.

Babe? You know, I was thinking. Maybe it's time I got myself a little run-around.

You know, save rushing to the school in the morning.

Another gas guzzler on the street. Giving Bobby and his mates asthma.

Yeah, Lucy's got a point.

I mean, we've got my car. We get another one, it's just a waste of money, innit?

OK. Oh, and by the way, if Jamie calls.

-Tell him I'll meet him at the school gates at three.

-Jamie?

One of the dads I met on the way to the school.

I think he's took quite a shine to me, actually.

Who can blame him?

I tell you what, hold on.

It wouldn't hurt to have a look at some cars, would it?

-No.

-See you later, love.

How can you do this day after day?

Well, it's a job, Lauren. Keeps you in make-up and expensive clothes.

So, this is it, then?

You kill yourself to pay for a mortgage and then you die.

Yeah, that's it, yeah.

Here you are, Lauren.

What're you giving me that for?

You're going to learn this trade from the bottom up.

Dad, what if people see me?

Well, you tell your mates you've joined your dad in the family business.

This is social suicide.

Well, go on.

Spare mixers are down there.

When that shelf gets a bit low, you can just fill them from there.

-Hello, two glasses of white wine, please.

-OK.

-Haven't seen you around here before.

-Well, it's my first day.

Well, if you need anyone to show you around...

Please excuse my friend, the married woman.

Not strictly speaking!

Now, that sounds like a challenge. So tell me...

Tanya.

-Are all the women in Walford as beautiful as you?

-Oh, behave.

Oh, come on, step away.

Her husband happens to be a neighbour of mine, you know.

It's just a bit of banter, Patrick, man.

I've seen plenty like you before. Let me tell you something, son.

The good times, the women.

One day they'll start to lose their appeal.

-What are you going to be left with then?

-Dad...

What're you doing here?

You never listen to me, do you? We have an inset day today.

Oh, my. Sorry. Patrick.

This is my beautiful daughter, Sash.

-Pleased to meet you.

-Hi.

-What're you reading?

It's about this man in South America.

He used to rob, kill and then mutilate his victims.

You know what we should do? We should resurrect book club.

-Bad idea.

-No, no, no, I've thought it all through.

We wouldn't actually invite anyone we don't like, right.

So no Zainab, obviously. No moaning Denise. Shirley, too scary.

Bianca, she can hardly read, can she? So...

So that just leaves me and you, then?

Mm-hm. That's the idea.

KNOCK ON DOOR

-When was the last time you washed that barnet of yours?

-What?

-Listen.

I know it can't be easy since Ricky left, but do yourself a favour, have some dignity.

-Kim, you can't...

-Look, the way I see it, you've got two choices.

You can either stay in here and mope around,

or you could sort that barnet and show the world what it's been missing.

Don't look great, does it?

-All right, I suppose a bit of pampering wouldn't do any harm.

-That's my girl.

I can't believe you're going to do it for free.

Well, it's not easy, is it? Bringing up four kids.

-Well, get yourself a job.

-I ain't exactly got a great CV.

Unless you want to count the nick as a reference.

Well, Jane's leaving. And let's face it.

The caff ain't been the same since you left.

-I would go for it for myself, but I don't think grease...

-Morgan! Sorry.

But what about your barnet?

And what time do you call this?

I'm sorry, can we just rewind?

-What are you doing in my office?

-Our office.

It's a nice little set-up you've got here.

I think it's important that we share, don't you, eh?

Especially when we're going into business together.

-You?

-Yeah, I think Pat would have been very pleased.

-You and I working side by side.

-Pat hated you.

Yes, but she would have grown to love me, but for her untimely demise.

You know what? No! You cannot just walk in here calling the shots...

You see. That's what I love about you, Janine. Your spirit.

I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

No, thanks, Vinnie, I really appreciate it.

Yeah, I'll tell them to expect a call later on. Cheers, bye.

I knew that waste of space would come in handy one day.

I'll do anything, I'll even scrub the bogs.

The odd shift just won't help.

You ain't got a good track record, have you? Or did you get anger management inside?

Please, Shirl. I wouldn't be asking you if I wasn't desperate.

-When can you start?

-Anytime. Now.

Go on, then, there's a pinny under the till.

-Thanks.

-Phil'd be proud of you.

-Yeah, he flamin' better be.

I wish I was more like you, Shirl. You know, all shoulder pads and death stares.

It's like the time when Alexis Colby walked in to the boardroom

and took over Denver Carrington.

-Don't you think I've a right to be consulted?

-I don't know what you're talking about.

-You can't just wheel out a replacement and expect me to just get on with it.

-Come again?

-Look, don't get me wrong. I like Derek. But I do not trust him.

-Derek Branning?

Oh, come on, don't pretend like you don't know.

-Oh, you really are the last to know about everything around here, aren't you?

-I'm going to kill him.

I'm right behind you, Shirl.

-Oi, Bianca.

-What?

-Family business.

Oi! You can't just leave me. Here, Kim.

-Take him off my hands for a few hours, will you?

-What am I supposed to do with him?

Just stuff him full of sweets. He'll be as good as gold.

And make sure he don't keep scratching. He's got worms, yeah?

Right, follow me, yeah? Not too close.

Squash and ricotta bake.

Most kids get burgers.

-Well, you're not most kids, are you, babe? So, how's your mum?

-She still hates you.

Just call me Mary Poppins. Lover. Entrepreneur. All-round sex kitten.

Come on, come on.

-Morgan, what can I get you?

-Yeah, what do you want? Cola or something stronger?

-It's a joke, innit? Joke.

-Kim.

Hey, little man, how you doing?

I've got someone here who'd like to meet you. Come here.

-Morgan. This is your big sister.

-It's like Surprise, Surprise, ain't it?

BOTH: Yes!

Oh, I've missed this, you know. You and me.

Me, too.

Max, Rainie, Greg. I mean, you've been through it all with me, ain't you?

-I think someone's had too much wine.

-No. No, I'm being serious. I am.

I don't know how I'd've got through it all without you. I love you, Jane Beale.

-I love you too, Tanya.

-Good. Well, let's liven in up in here, then.

-Yes, come on.

-Show 'em how it's done.

MUSIC STARTS UP

This is the one. Ooh, Patrick, do you know it? Come on.

Come on, we need a man.

Come on.

Oh, have a look. It's Charlie's Angels!

-You have got ten seconds to get out of this office.

-Yeah, or we're calling the police.

I take it you haven't spoken to your old man, then.

-What's Phil got to do with this?

-I paid him a little visit yesterday.

-He's lying, Shirl.

He's got himself in a bit of a state over this place.

-Wants someone to help out.

-Phil hates you.

On the contrary. We've reached a new understanding.

Phil wouldn't do that without telling Shirl first.

He appreciates all the hard work you've done, but he wants someone... How shall I put this?

Someone with a bit more savvy at the helm.

Seeing as I'm a reasonable man,

I'll give you a bit more time to get used to the idea, eh?

Shirley.

We may as well just have a revolving door put in.

There must be some mix-up, Shirl.

Phil wouldn't do that without telling you first.

I wouldn't put it past him.

A girl's gotta have music.

She's not going to want us around, you know.

Soon as she's married to Dad, we'll be the first ones to go.

Where will I go?

I don't know. Boarding school, maybe.

And we're not talking Hogwarts.

What do you think, eh? His and hers.

And Bobby, I've got a special trip planned for you.

Bobby!

So, what do you want to be when you grow up?

What about a beautician, like me?

Or how about owning a nice little clothes shop?

A criminal pathologist.

Oh, fancy getting yourself a nice policeman, do you?

I like blood. Reading about murders.

Oh. You should have met Dee's ex-husband.

You two all right over there?

Oh, yeah. We're like sisters, innit, Sarah?

So, come on, then. Spill. Has your dad had many girlfriends?

That depends. Are we counting the ones under the floorboards or not?

SHE LAUGHS

-Jane?

-Yeah.

-The doctor gave me something.

-What?

I can't.

-Tan, come on...

-No, I can't even look at it.

Why would you need that?

-Why do you think?

-Oh, you mean...

-Two large ones, ladies?

-No!

Oh, Jane, I am mortified.

No. No, listen, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

-How are things in that department, anyway?

-Nonexistent.

Max says he's happy to wait but I know he doesn't mean it.

Oh, come on, you've got to learn to trust him.

I just worry, you know...that if he doesn't get what he wants from me,

he might go somewhere else, find it.

No, I'm just being silly, aren't I? Forget I said anything.

Here, Masood, do you fancy joining our little book club?

We've finally lifted the ban on men. Don't worry. It's not too saucy.

-And who's in this book club?

-Well, it's just me and Jane so far.

Ah, that's going to be a bit difficult, isn't it?

Is it? Why?

-I think you should tell her.

-Tell me what?

I'm so sorry, Tan. I'm leaving for Cardiff tomorrow.

I wanted to tell you, but it...

Why? Why would you...

-Why are you doing this to me, Mas?

-I'm sorry.

-What right have you got to interfere? You made your choice, now I'm making mine.

-She's your friend.

-I didn't want you to jeopardise that.

-So you thought you would do that for me?

It's because I care.

Come on, Bobby. Just open the door, will you, love?

That's really clever. Leaving an eight-year-old unattended.

He could be getting up to all sorts of trouble in there.

-Is that burning I smell?

-Bobby!

Well, Dad's only at the chippy. I'll fetch him.

No. Lucy, Lucy.

-Jane!

-Not now, Mandy.

No, no, it's Bobby. Please. Please, I need your help.

Please. Thank you.

Snap.

I thought maybe after I've dropped Sasha off, me and you can grab a drink or something.

What makes you think I'm interested?

-Well, aren't you?

-I suppose one won't hurt.

Where have you been?

I've got another sister!

-Hello.

-I thought we were going to do this my way.

She just came in here. What was I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to tell Tiff? She's confused enough about Ricky leaving.

-Everything OK?

-You're lucky I'm on probation.

-I'm doing you a favour!

-Stay out of my way, Kim.

-Come on.

-Sorry, you shouldn't have got dragged into that.

-Damn right I shouldn't have.

-Where you going?

I've had it with blokes and their baggage. Find yourself another mug.

Sarah.

Right. What was all that about, eh?

She was going to send me away!

You're not going anywhere, you hear?

Apart from every weekend when you come to me in Cardiff.

Now, Bobby,

say sorry to Mandy.

I'm sorry.

It's all right, squirt.

Bobby's just a bit confused at the moment.

It's a difficult time for everyone.

I know what you all think of me...

-but I really do like that little kid.

-I know you do.

But it seems like no matter what I do,

I'll never be as good as his precious Jane.

Listen,

do you think I had it easy when I first came here?

I had Lucy glaring at me from one side of the room,

-and I had Pauline on the other.

-What did you do?

I took a crash course, didn't I?

I learnt that Bobby likes ketchup on everything

and Peter runs away screaming.

Lucy's allergic to fabric softener and Ian...

Well, that's a course in itself.

Bobby's already got a mum, Mandy.

All he needs is for you to be his friend.

What about Lucy?

You have to put her in her place, or she'll walk all over you.

Jane...

thanks a lot.

You know, I reckon me and you could've been good mates.

Just look after my boys, yeah?

-Where's Bobby?

-He's upstairs getting changed for his tea.

Chops sound all right?

I've got a mate of Vinnie's coming over later on.

He's got a bit of work for us. It'll keep the wolves away from the door.

If it's a service you're after, we're fully booked.

Phil phoned.

Said that Derek was looking after things for a little while.

-Is that right?

-It's nothing personal, Shirl, is it?

-Family loyalties mean a lot to you, do they?

-I'm just doing what I'm told.

Your old man would be turning in his grave.

And you ain't going to get away with this.

I think I already have, don't you?

-And you two want to sort your differences out?

-Yeah.

Oi, work out whose side you're on, son. You're brothers, remember.

Now shake hands and get back to work.

We ain't brothers any more.

So, what happened to you, Lauren?

Dad, if I have to chose between the car lot and death,

I choose death. That's Virginia Woolf.

Sort of.

Right, so, you think when I was your age,

you think that was the life I chose for myself, do ya? Flogging heaps of junk.

Then why d'you do it?

I'm trying to look after my family, Lauren. That's why.

Cos every motor I sell is one less thing your mum's got to worry about.

I might not be good with words, and I might find it hard to show my feelings.

That's how I make up for it. By making sure everyone's got a roof over their heads

and some food in your bellies.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I'll get it.

I'll get started on them invoices tomorrow, yeah?

No. Don't even bother.

No, listen, Tanya. Come on, d'you think that was easy for me,

sitting in the pub, lying to you?

Lying's second nature to you, ain't it? Only have to ask Zainab that.

No, that's not fair.

-And letting me believe you were staying in Walford is fair, is it?

-Tanya.

It's all right, Max, go on. Is it? What's wrong, Jane?

What, you worried about upsetting the cancer patient, are you? No?

-Or are we building to some big finale where I have to beg you to stay?

-I wanted to tell you.

Oh, did you?

I don't know why you're making such a big fuss about this. I'm not being funny,

-but you're just someone I knock around with. That's all.

-Oh, being spiteful now, are we?

You're a laugh and everything, all right? But I've got my girls. I don't need you. I never did.

You know, and all that stuff about book club, it was just...

Yeah well, I felt sorry for you, didn't I?

Let's be honest, you haven't got a lot else going on in your life, have you?

-I'm not listening to this, Tan.

-Oh, right. You go. Skulk off to Cardiff. Don't worry about the rest of us.

Do you know I was willing to give up the job of a lifetime for you?

For one fleeting moment, I considered jacking it all in and staying here. And for what?

For what?

You know your trouble, Tanya? You're selfish.

You're so wrapped up in yourself, you don't give a damn about anybody else's feelings.

Every time anyone gets close to you, you pull the shutters down.

You know, with Max, with Lauren and now me.

Me! I've had enough.

And don't bother coming to say goodbye, either, Tanya.

Cos as far I'm concerned, we are done here.

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