31/01/2012 EastEnders

That'll do.

Ah, yeah...

Some more.

Hey, come on. Drink.

It'll give you all the energy you need to tidy this place up.

Hey! No women?

Y'know, in my day that would count against you.

Oh, Fatboy's going to kill me.

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Who's that?

-Patrick, Patrick...

Little piggies!

KNOCKING CONTINUES

Anthony? Tyler? Don't make me knock again.

KNOCKING CONTINUES

I'll huff and I'll puff!

I'll be down the Arches.

Please tell me it's not Derek the both of you owe money to.

Where's the butter gone?

Here you go.

-That's mine.

-That's when I found them -

Whitney and Tyler, locked in the bathroom together!

ALL: What?

He went mental. I've never seen him like that before.

Can't blame him. You don't want your missus locked in the bogs with Tyler!

Kids, we're late! I'm sick of getting moody looks off your teachers!

-It weren't our fault! I tried to tell him. The door got stuck.

-This is Fatboy.

-He'll probably be writing you a poem to say sorry.

-He called me a sket.

Right, that's it, I'm going to have him!

-B! He's going to think I'm even more of a sket!

-No, he won't.

He'll be too busy picking his teeth up to think anything.

-Make sure the kids get to school.

-B!

Look at him. He could at least pretend he's not madly in love with you.

So could you.

Ah, if you want to find a lapdog, look for its owner.

Your brothers owe me money.

I don't care how they get it, I want my dough.

Can't help you, Derek. It's none of my business.

-What's a sket?

-A courtesan.

What, you mean like Pat Butcher in the '80s?

-I've never been so vexed.

-It would have been a crowbar across the shins for both of them in my day.

It wouldn't have been that in my day, but then, I suppose, that's cos I went to church.

As my vicar used to say, "To forgive is to live!"

Man's got lyrics. But I can't have this. I'm going to see Tyler.

No, no! There'll be no violence today.

You can come to the launderette, help me open up.

If you want to bash something, you can bash the dirty washing, that won't lead to eternal damnation.

Remember, Arthur, keep Jesus beside you. What is it in your language?

Rolling deep?

-Come on, then.

-Yeah, Mrs B.

I was cleaning your room yesterday...

Don't touch my stuff. It's ridiculous, I'm in my forties!

Andrew, we've got to talk about this!

I don't want to talk about nothing.

Oh, I don't believe this!

Well, well, well, the mountain has come to Mohammed.

-Here we go, there's your change. Oh, gosh! Next, yeah?

-Tea, please.

-Right.

-Morning, Heather the treasure! Teas all round.

No, you'll have to wait. I'm supposed to be taking him to nursery,

-not covering for Shirley again.

-Heather, you should have said no.

I'll take him. I know we're a couple of blokes,

-but we can manage, can't we, George?

-There you go.

-Besides, it's a bit of exercise, ain't it? Say goodbye to Mummy, wave to Mummy.

-Bye! See ya!

-A sket?

-She was in a locked toilet with Tyler!

-She wasn't doing anything! How could you call her that?

-It's that street talk. I didn't know what it meant

-but I knew it weren't very nice.

-So he owned up?

He feels terrible about it, don't you, Arthur?

And he feels terrible about Whitney and Tyler.

I mean, what exactly happened in that lavvy?

I thought you were better than Ty, that you were different,

but you're both as pathetic as each other!

We had to pay rent, we had to pay bills...

You're telling me that this hole comes to four grand a month, eh?

How do you expect to pay for that with this tat?

-Antiques expert, are you?

-All right, Ty...

-Well, what would he know?

-All right.

You two make me laugh. You remind me of my brothers.

Right pair, the both of them.

If they didn't have me to look after 'em...

Tyler, let me explain something to you.

If I don't get my money, I will have to break your legs.

Not just a jab in the ribs that we'll all laugh about

over a pint down the Vic later, I will actually break your legs.

Maybe that's what we need Derek, then.

Like your brothers had a bit of guidance. Yeah?

Yeah... Yes. Yes.

Good.

Well, it just so happens that one of Phil Mitchell's suppliers came to me earlier -

did I tell you that I was running Phil Mitchell's business now?

No? Yeah, he put an order in.

I wasn't interested but it might be up your street.

-What is it?

-Cables.

From the train lines.

No. People get electrocuted doing that.

-And hit by trains.

-It's up to you. Have a think about it, eh?

I'll give you till three o'clock.

If you ain't interested,

bring me my money.

"And I say unto you, resist not evil, but whosoever shall smite thee

"on thy right cheek, turn to him the other one also."

That is Matthew, chapter five, verse 39.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm supposed to let him have another pass at her?

It means that violence ain't the way.

I'm not going to touch him!

I know what boys are like over girls.

I mean, maybe the door did jam.

Little bit convenient, though, innit?

I should think it's very inconvenient.

You've fallen out with Tyler,

you've besmirched Whitney's good name with your silly street talk,

I don't think that solves anything.

What's this? "I'm so low..." Something like "blow to blow..."

Yeah, yeah, they're just lyrics I'm working on. MC-ing and all that.

Well, I mean, if you've got time to waste on this rubbish,

you've got time to sort the other business out.

Yeah, but if the toilet door did jam,

-what were they doing in there in the first place?

-Unblocking the sinks? Oh, I don't know.

Whitney, she's a good girl. She wouldn't hurt you like this.

The question is, do you love her enough to believe her?

You can't stay, I'm running late again.

-Just letting you know I dropped him off. Is that much snot normal?

-Oh, where's my keys?

You know, I think you're amazing. Looking after him, doing all these jobs...

Look, I got my launderette break at three. Do you want a late lunch?

I can't. I'm busy. Auntie Dot's got a leaky tap, said I'd fix it.

-Can't you do that later?

-I better let you get on.

-So you don't want lunch then?

-I can't. I'm sorry.

Come on, Alex, you know we're good for it.

You get a cut of the Emporium. How much?

10%.

What's funny about that?

Is there anybody Dad don't owe money to?

Look, can we just ask Michael? Janine is minted.

Why don't you just ask Amira?

I'm not betraying Dad.

I don't know how you can even consider it.

We could try the Vic.

What's the point? Kat and Alfie aren't even there, mate.

Exactly.

# ..go round and round round and round, round and round

# The wheels on the bus go round and round... #

-Whit.

-You're not allowed in here.

I want to talk.

You can talk all you like.

Just tell me what happened in the toilet, and I'll believe you.

Am I supposed to be grateful for that?

Amy! That wasn't very nice!

George, did she give you a little nip?

-I'll be at the Vic around seven. If you want to make this right.

-I don't have anything to make right.

Amy, are you going to say sorry to George?

-Patrick! What's this, a social visit, is it?

-Why were you banging on the door this morning?

So you was in? You better ask the Moon boys.

No, no, no, no! I asking you.

-They said they'd left two grand for us in an envelope.

-When Alfie goes away, we manage his investments.

-Like we've got time for that, eh!

-Come on, we're his cousins.

-Yeah, it's not like we're on the make, or anything.

-Oh, please.

We need the money. We'll make it up before they get back, I swear.

-What can I get you, mate?

-Another two, please.

-All right.

-Like that was ever going to work.

-It's five to three!

You all right, boys!

Good, well... Why don't you come for a drink?

They've got some rubbish furniture to sell, ain't you?

-That's the family business.

-Ty, why don't we ask them?

-No.

-Ask us what?

-We need some money.

-For a change.

-We are good for it.

-No, you're not!

If you two ever get married, take her name. Yours ain't much use to you. Come on, Ant.

-I'm going down the gym.

-What about our drink?

Not thirsty now.

Hey, lions don't sleep with their eyes open!

Too much sun in Africa!

My eyes is open.

Yeah?

Whoever invented this game is a genius.

We're supposed to be hunters now, but I ditched that part years ago.

Listen, I wanted to talk to you, actually, about Amy.

-She nipped George earlier.

-Nipped?

-Yeah.

There's been other things. Bullying things.

OK. Well, I'll keep an eye on her.

You know about her mum and dad?

If you start to look for things, you'll find them,

if they exist or not.

I mean, she's probably just discovered pinching

-and she doesn't realise how annoying it is yet.

-Yeah, but...

Look, why don't you go home?

There's not much for you to do now all the lions are asleep.

Can't go round letting people off, I got a reputation to keep.

Don't drag the boys into this, man. They're not like you, you know.

Then they shouldn't have got involved in it in the first place.

Derek. It's three o'clock and we ain't got your money.

Will you excuse us, please, Patrick? The boys and I have got something to straighten out.

-Yeah, but the boys don't have any money.

-Then it's decision time.

How about this for a decision? How about you back off, Derek?

Which one of me and you

do you think is going to go the furthest to settle this thing, eh?

Which one of us has got the most to lose?

All right, Derek, we'll do the job, all right?

Clever boy. Now, it's out past Watford way.

Meet me in George Street at eight o'clock.

I'll take you through the gear.

You'll be hooking up with a geezer called Paul.

Hang on, you're not coming?

-Eight o'clock.

-I'll go along, too.

If I had paid my way, none of this would have happened.

Yeah, well they are a bit... skittish.

Could do with an old head.

You can be the driver.

Is there something you wanted? Only, I've got to sort the donations.

That clothes bin is not for fly-tipping. These are rags.

I was looking for Andrew. He's meant to be fixing Dot's leaky tap

but he wasn't at home so I thought he might be here.

-He isn't here. He's probably under the knife somewhere!

-What?

I found this in his room.

They had those at the community centre!

You're obviously putting him under pressure to lose weight.

It was his idea to go to Kimba!

He said we should go to together, like a proper couple.

Couples are supposed to support each other,

not push each other into invasive surgery!

I'm the one he's lying to!

I'm the one who thinks he's fixing a leaky tap!

Very well done, Rose. Ambassadorial.

I don't want to be here.

If it was just you, it might - MIGHT - be different, but Tyler...

We're in big trouble, Michael. Big trouble.

DOORBELL RINGS

-Oh, Dot.

-"Holla at me, FB, on the streets of E20."

What are you on about?

Well, he don't rhyme too good, but he's trying, poor lamb.

"Had a fine girl, wearing my chain, called Whit-er-ney.

"Hope she comes back to me, and not T."

Oh, I can't make out that bit.

"Cos I promise to treat her so properly."

That's right. "Cos I promise to treat her so properly."

I found it, you know, I was going through his washing.

I found it in a pocket of one of his snazzy tracksuits,

and I thought you might like to read it.

Mind you, he ain't no Shakespeare.

He came round to see me earlier. I told him where to go.

Oh, Whitney. Everything that Arthur does is from the heart.

I know he don't rhyme proper, but he means well.

I gotta go now. See what Rose is doing.

I left her sorting out the donations for the charity shop

and I know her, she'll be binning anything she wouldn't wear herself,

there'll be nothing left for normal people like me.

Ta-ra.

See ya.

It won't end with this. He won't let you go now he's got you.

Tyler's going to risk killing himself and it's my fault.

You've got to help us, Michael. We're...brothers.

Yeah. When it suits you.

-Get him on the blower.

-Can't we just go see him, please?

No, we can't! He won't budge if he knows I'm involved.

Ring him and tell him you gotta go away for a while.

-But what about the business and the house?

-What is wrong with you?!

Have you come here looking for a way out or d'you just want money?

Cos you won't be getting any from me!

You can get another business, Anthony. You can't get new legs!

MOBILE RINGS

Hello?

'Hello, is that you, Ant?'

We can't do it, Tyler.

How we going to run the business if neither of us can walk?

Maybe we should go away for a bit?

And let the business go under?

How do you plan on running a business, Ty, when you're dead?

-Every answer I got, you got a reason why it can't happen.

-He won't stop, Ty!

Even if we get these cables, it won't be enough. He'll want more and more.

-Plus, Michael said...

-'You've been to see Michael?'

Ty, I had to do something. Sorry.

Just be there. George Street, eight o'clock.

Ty, please don't... PHONE GOES DEAD

I've gotta go.

Hang on. Not even Tyler's thick enough, is he, to start messing around with train lines?

He's not doing it cos he's thick. He's doing it cos we're family!

Family. Precisely the reason why I'm going to do this.

Your father would never forgive me.

HE BANGS ON DOOR Michael! Michael, open this door now!

Michael!

-Move in a bit, please.

-You fix that leaky tap today, did you?

-Yeah.

-Who do you think you are, Lying to me, eh?

Your mother thinks I'm forcing gastric band surgery on you!

-I never said you were.

-What you doing thinking about that anyway? It's dangerous!

It's good to know your options.

-I never thought about me health till I met you and George.

-Don't bring George into this. He's only two!

-'Course I'm not, it just gets you thinking, don't it?

-What about?

About sticking around, having a relationship, watching him grow up.

He's not growing up with a liar.

Hev, wait up. I'm not lying!

All right, I wasn't fixing a leaky tap.

-Although there is a leaky tap.

-Oh, please!

I was looking at engagement rings!

What are you looking at them for?

Because I want you to be my wife, don't I?

I need to...

I need to sit down.

Come here.

I never thought...

Wait.

I didn't even listen properly.

Better give it another shot, then.

Heather, will you marry me?

ONLOOKERS: Ah! Sweet!

Say it again.

Will you marry me?

Again!

-ONLOOKERS LAUGH

-This is not the Teletubbies!

Are you going to say yes, or what?

Yes!

THEY CHEER

-Cheers, Harry. Sorry about this. Family.

-See you tomorrow.

Michael, please let me out.

He's expecting me in ten minutes.

Janine, please! Please open this door.

I know I told you to get closer to your family

but this is a bit extreme, isn't it?

-You waiting on a man?

-It's what man she's waiting on that I'm worried about.

-Can you get your own love life?

-We did. And look where it got us! I'll have a pint of gin, please.

-So, which one is it?

-Fatboy.

-What?! D'you know he called her a sket?

What? And he's still walking? You're losing your touch, babe.

I went to see him. Spared him his life. If I'd have known you'd be soft I wouldn't have let him off.

B, I'm not going soft. I know he didn't mean it.

He should be talking you up like you was the Second Coming, not speaking like that.

I knew there was a reason why I had a baby with you.

Nah, you're all right.

Listen. Listen, he came to explain, OK?

And I'm going to hear him out.

I'm not going to chuck this away over one stupid argument.

-Can you imagine if you and Ricky did that?

-Yeah, would have saved me about 15 years.

No, all right! OK! We'll hear him out - if he turns up.

-ANTHONY MOUTHS

-Come on. Just go home.

-Go home?

Yes, go home. It's got nothing to do with you.

I've got your baby inside me.

if this has got anything to do with Derek looking for you this morning...

Because if he needs talking to...

Don't think your money can push him around.

Janine, tell him!

They're your brothers. Just make it up.

No, you know what?

I might just leave it till they're drawing their last breath.

I just wanted your child to have uncles. A grandfather. A family.

Because, as you've pointed out, I don't have one to give.

ANTHONY BANGS ON DOOR Michael! Please, open the door!

Shut up!

-Michael!

-Shut up!

-Michael, please...

-I'm thinking.

Please!

(I'm thinking.)

HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF

Whit won't speak to me. So, you'll have to do.

Look, I've got somewhere to be, Fatboy.

Listen, if you was ever my boy... You said the door jams.

I just want to see it. Come on, bro.

You know how much I love this girl!

This is the rest of my life on the line here. So, what, you too busy for that?

No.

THEY LAUGH

If that was anything to go by, I can give up the Kimba!

I lost about a stone.

Who needs Kimba?

Oh, my snuggle bunny...

Heather the treasure.

Did you find an engagement ring yet?

-Not yet. I will though.

-You better hurry up.

Better put a ring on there before some other player whisks me away.

Can't have that!

What you doing?

For the leaky tap.

-SHE LAUGHS

-I don't believe this is happening!

If all I had to do to get you to sleep with me

was promise to spend the rest of me life with you,

-I would have done it weeks ago.

-Oh!

-It fits!

What's that?

It's all right, Patrick, that's not the way the Old Bill

usually conducts a surveillance operation.

In you get.

We weren't lying, Fats.

But see, that ain't the thing. No, bruv, the real thing is,

what was you doing in there in the first place. That's the real thing.

We were just talking. About you, as it happens.

Look, I was telling her that I'm happy for her. And that you're a good bloke.

Damn straight.

I would have torn the house down if I was you.

But that's the good thing - you're not me, Fats. Don't act like me or she'll leave.

-She's gone already, bruv.

-You can fix that. Just use that world-famous charm.

Yeah. I am pretty charming, you know.

-So what? You still like her?

-No.

No!

No, OK?

She's just another mate now. Like you. Bit prettier.

Honestly, mate, you and her -

it's a beautiful thing.

I don't want to destroy that.

This don't mean you can use the toilet in my yard!

And make sure you get this door fixed!

-I will. Listen, I gotta shoot.

-I'll just let myself out, then!

TRAIN RUMBLES

Those boys want to work on their timekeeping.

DEREK SIGHS

It's ironic, really, you being called Paddy.

Cos, I mean, you ain't a Mick, are you?

I understood what you meant all right.

Hmm.

Fine tradition this, eh?

Reminds me of the good old days with me dad.

Not quite.

Never had him down as one of those liberal types.

We were friends. No big deal.

SMASH!

I gotta go! Tyler needs me!

Anthony!

Back in the '90s, we used to run the green down from Scotland.

I had this system. We'd follow the lorry down to Manchester

and write down all the number plates of the cars behind it.

Next day, we'd go to Leeds.

If a licence plate came up more than once, bang,

we knew we were being followed.

The last day, this licence plate came up twice,

so I told the driver to park up to the lorry

and kiss goodbye to the lot.

You walked?

I did, Patrick. But the others...

See, there was a couple of hundred grand on that lorry.

Knowing when to walk,

that's the difference between your liberty and prison.

-What you doing?

-Knowing when to walk. Come on.

SIRENS WAIL

-Police! Stop!

-Police!

-Keep calm and say nothing.

-Stop there, please!

You didn't tell me Derek was going to be here.

TRAIN RUMBLES

Those boys are dead men walking.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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