20/02/2012 EastEnders

-You are my kind of breakfast.

-Never been called breakfast before.

Breakfast, lunch. Dinner.

Don't worry, he's gone out.

Fatboy doesn't get up this early. Not when he's not working.

Yeah, it's awkward, ain't it?

This is our fault. We've got to make it OK.

OK.

Janine!

So, single guy, loads of time on my hands. Loads of energy.

I told you it wouldn't last.

-So, I was wondering about another club night?

-Ha-ha.

Another consignment tomorrow, yeah?

-Yeah, I'll sort you out next week, though, yeah?

-Cash, now.

-How is she?

-Yeah, she's good.

Jack, we got to go, really, we're in a bit of a hurry.

-I'll walk with you.

-Give him five minutes, eh?

Can you not just keep your fat nose out of anything?

-Oi. You mess with my brother, you mess with me.

-Derek.

Except I'm not messing with him, am I? He knows his days.

And today ain't one of them.

You want to come for a walk with Auntie Shirley? Yeah?

Oh, don't do that, you'll give her nightmares.

Look, I gave you a club night and you spent most of it

giving a shout out to, what was it?

Oh, "My girl, Whitney, you're so peng."

Come on, man, it was banging in there.

Yeah. With people that didn't spend a penny.

Apart from on the toilet floor. It's dog eat dog.

Yeah, and Fats is hungry.

I've seen more appetite on an anorexic hamster with a broken leg.

What do you want, Janine?

Coffee, please, and maybe some service with a smile.

Come on, Lady J, all right. Give me one more shot.

Give me one more night. Have I told you how nice your hair looks today?

No. Blud.

Go on, Janine.

Listen, you need to learn to grab your chance when you can.

Ask Tyler.

-Fats.

-We're cool, innit. You cool? You cool? I'm cool.

-I'm cool, you cool?

-Cool.

Everybody's cool, then, innit? Great. So, great.

So, I go to Sonia's and you're with Fatboy.

And I come back, and now you're with the letch.

Awkward. Keep the change.

Just don't.

Are you forgetting what he did to Michael?

No, listen, I got rent to pay, bills to pay, OK.

Need to save every penny we can.

And give all those pennies to Derek? The man's dangerous.

He must be making what? Six quid a bottle.

And he's selling it to you for two quid cheaper than kosher.

Know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to find out where he gets them from. Deal directly.

Just cut out the middle man.

-Then you're on your own, son.

-Thank you, Paddy.

I hope you know what you're doing.

Course I know what I'm doing, I'm Alfie Moon, ain't I?

You and Peroxide back there. Shirley, smirking away.

You got any idea what this is going to cost?

Don't act like you ain't bothered, Jack.

You want to do your fighting, do it in the ring.

I ain't going to let them two destroy my family.

Get a screw driver to this lot, look at the state of it.

OK.

Open.

Um, is that it?

You wanted to stay in this business. This is how it goes.

Do you want a day's work?

What? Shifting this lot? It's a piece of pie.

-We haven't got enough money for staff.

-Since when?

Since my ex-wife started bleeding me dry.

Let the Fats put a little love into it and you can watch these babies fly.

-Yes!

-No, Christian's away working his socks off,

I'm here doing every hour I can.

-You're hired.

-You're fired.

-Syed!

You know what, times are hard, don't play on my emotions, please.

I've got a meeting with the shipping people.

Um, so who's going to look after the stall?

I'm not the one that dumped the poor boy.

The day after Valentine's.

Yeah, well, you need a good DJ.

Billy!

Everyone loves his tunes, you know?

Excuse me, pregnant woman. Trip hazard.

OK, I'm shifting them.

Do you know how many cocktails I sold that night? Champagne? None.

Toilets broken? Two. Shall I do it again?

Hmm. No.

You really are showing your age, Janine.

I mean, for someone who runs a club you ain't half out of touch.

Guilty conscience. Ouch.

What I'm trying to say is you've got a pile of cheap vodka here, right?

Look at clubs out in Romford, fiver on the door, pound a drink.

You do that here, you'll have kids queuing round the block.

Just trust me. You do the sums.

She said she'd do lunchtime.

Well, she wants to do the stall.

In those heels?

OK, maybe "wants to" is pushing it a bit.

So, it's a good job our gorgeous Maitre D' is back.

Sorry, is that gorgeous in the hideously deformed, elephant man sense?

No. Just gorgeous.

I can't even carry anything that heavy.

Well, your dad said a mate from the mosque has a son looking for work.

We can't afford that.

Kind of got no choice.

Husband and wife running a business.

You'd have thought we'd have looked at our parents and learned but...

Amira. Amira working the market.

Please.

Show me what to do.

Just looking, just looking. Well, this, this is lovely.

Usually 30, but seeing as it's you, I'll do it for a tenner.

I'll put it here, yeah, stuff it in your bag, do whatever.

I'll turn around, I'm not looking.

-It's only a tenner, tenner.

-OK, then.

-Yeah. Thank you.

You'll love it, you'll absolutely love it.

-There you go.

-Thank you.

-Cheers, have a lovely day.

Take care, bye-bye.

Amazing. I'll give you a cut of the profits.

-Deal. Boom.

-Yes.

Just look at him, sniffing round her. I know how boys' minds work.

Yeah, cos yours are such ladies' men, right?

Eating my food, playing my Ludo. He doesn't fool me.

It's her that doesn't understand.

She's only ever had to fight homosexuals off before.

Syed was not a homosexual back then.

-Oh, maybe she'll turn Anthony too.

-Ah.

I thought she had no money for staff.

-He's probably not gay enough, darling.

-Denise!

Fats!

One chance. Don't blow it.

Lady J, you are not going to regret this, you know that.

Well, you know, every loser deserves a break. You're on tonight.

# I'm on tonight, on tonight on tonight. #

Um...

I mean, it's good to just be friends, isn't it?

-He's just helping out on the stall.

-The thing about young men...

-She's worried he'll try and ravish you over them T-shirts.

-Denise.

Or he'll just jump you, get you pregnant.

Ruin your life, ruin his own.

Only joking. Got any oil for hinges?

Yes, it's round the corner, bottom shelf.

When he was at the Vic, it was a different girl every morning.

I don't think Amira needs to hear that.

Or was that Tyler?

They were both swanning around with just their skimpy pants on.

I was trying to have a private conversation here.

Look, there is nothing going on. He's not old enough.

He's not rich enough. He's not Muslim enough. OK?

Roxy! Rox! Listen.

About what I said earlier. What I said last week.

Well, I only did what any mother would do.

Course you did. And I respect you for that.

Course you do, Derek. What d'you want?

Look, Jack's still got his access days, I'm still Amy's uncle.

Why don't we bury the hatchet, eh? For her sake.

-I'm busy.

-She said she's busy.

Get your hands off me!

Look. It's the club. The CCTV camera's gone on the blink.

Oh, really? Oh, and that is my problem because why?

I'm an old boy, I don't know how that stuff works.

Aw, Derek, am I supposed to feel sorry for you?

-Look, Phil said that you and Ronnie had it installed, eh?

-Yeah.

-And seeing that I'm running the place for him...

-I said no.

Woah, some people would call that stalking.

Haven't you got prisons to visit?

I am talking tunes, all right.

Some big boy beats, and some bad boy bassline. Plus cheap drinks.

Oh, I understood that bit.

And there's going to be boys there, all with multipacks and that.

-Not that I'm drinking.

-And who wants a boy? I want a man.

You ask and the Fatboy will provide.

Just make sure you're both there.

Tell me that is not what I think it is?

-Whitney, tell me that you're not?

-It's cool. Just chill out.

-No! Whitney!

-I hope you washed him down first.

All right, all right, let's just get back to the main event, yeah?

Big up to Janine, props to her, innit? She changed her mind.

-That's wicked.

-Yeah, I knew you'd persuade her.

What?

Is it National Society of Protection of Fatboy day

-or something?

-Fats, listen to me, I'm sorry.

I told her cos you deserve it.

I stand on my own two feet now.

She was just helping you out, Fats.

You know what? This is long.

Forget tonight, all right. Forget it all, man.

This is long, yeah. Get out my way, I ain't nobody's joke.

Oh, you're back early.

I understand Anthony's getting a cut of our profits?

-If it's the money...

-It's about a business partner not pulling her weight.

-Woah, don't talk to her like that.

-Sorry?

-Why do you always embarrass me?

-Why do you have to be a princess?

Either you're in this business or you're out.

-Great.

-You can do this, all right.

I don't see why I should.

How about you do it to prove him wrong?

There you are. Customer.

Just looking, just looking.

Anthony says you're cutting Derek out of the booze scheme.

I say a lot of things

-Yeah, well, I'm in.

-Give us a beer, will you?

I liked Eddie more than Eddie liked me.

And I liked Norman more than Norman liked me.

Men are like cardigans. You've got to try a lot on.

Not that you need a man. Or a cardigan.

Mama Jean.

Or a frog or a pebble.

Or a fish...in the sea.

It's out there somewhere. Love. Not the cardigan.

You saw him. He's gutted.

Maybe we should back off a little bit.

Can't we just go somewhere and curl up till it all goes away?

Sounds like my kind of afternoon.

Hey. You don't have to thank me.

I'm sure there's a bench in heaven with my name on it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Fatboy's been banging on about it.

He's really excited, it's going to be great.

-Well, it better had be.

-It will be.

Tyler, he's our mate. He's our mate, they all are.

So, you and me, we have to sort this out.

-We have to.

-OK.

The thing is, Billy, Derek's got a lot of mates.

-And I'm not in the loop.

-Phil'd know. He's got contacts.

-He is a nasty piece of work.

-Yeah, Paddy.

I'd love to see him get what's coming to him. But I don't want to see you in a box.

I appreciate that, but it's not your battle.

Anything to wipe that smile off Derek's face.

You're cutting Derek out?

You working here now?

While Kat's away. Leopard print's upstairs, get it on.

Hold on, I said Derek. Are you?

-Well, no, not actually cutting him out.

-Why not? Why?

What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Which is a shame cos right now...

I'm going to find out who his contact is.

Are you? Yeah? How?

No. So, it's a good job I'm here, isn't it?

Lauren.

Lauren, wait.

Two seconds.

Look, it just happened so fast.

-I don't know, I just didn't have a chance to tell you.

-Hmm.

-But it's different, it feels right.

-Yeah, and you trust him, do you?

Course I do. He was just waiting for the right girl.

You do know that Fatboy loves you?

Yeah, I know. And I love him too. I do.

Just as a mate. That's the whole reason I'm doing this.

Yeah, it's a bit obvious.

You're just doing exactly what Mercy did to him.

I know it's wrong. I know it's wrong.

But I can't love two people at the same time.

I can't lie, Lauren.

You don't half know how to make things complicated.

Come here.

You got five minutes.

-Right, text everyone you know.

-Everyone?

Everyone. And you, can you design some sort of flyer?

-Just make it, make it good.

-That's not much of a brief, is it?

Happy Mondays. No, Manic Mondays.

-Manic Mondays.

-Yeah.

-Put it online.

Right, it's a fiver on the door, pound a drink.

-Where you going?

-I've got to go distract Fats.

To get his laptop thingamajiggy over there. You coming?

-Yeah, definitely.

-See you in a bit.

-So, you Whitney's new boyfriend now?

-That's a bit personal.

-Well, it's very hard to keep up.

-No, you don't. Sit down.

Right, you just got to jiggle it about a bit,

stick it with a bit of gum, yeah?

Are you looking at my bum?

-I'm not very good with heights.

-Cos don't.

Had a fall once. Nearly broke my neck.

Awful what can happen.

That was a lot of vodka you were unloading earlier.

Why? D'you want a case? I've heard you like a drink.

You still get it off that guy in Leyton that Phil used to use?

-What's it to you?

-Just wondering.

No, I know a man. And he's not from Leyton.

If that's what you want to know.

-How's that?

-PHONE RINGS

Oh, hold up.

Hello, mate. Yeah, all off-loaded.

Yeah, same again next week.

I'll let you know.

-Well, thank you very much. You can go now.

-So, this guy...

You said five minutes, I've taken up more of your time already.

You can go now.

You're just like your brother, aren't you? You got no manners.

Send Amy my love.

No.

Roxy.

And nice bum.

-It's not what you think.

-What?

-I don't know what you think.

-What do I think?

-That I'm only after her for one thing.

-My sister ain't...

Will you go upstairs and stop earwigging?

It's not like that. Not with Whitney.

I know your game. Different bird every week.

-I'm not playing games.

-If you do I'll play football with your head.

-I have to pick up the pieces.

-There's not going to be pieces.

-If there are...

-You got me to mess with.

-Tiff, go upstairs.

-I told you I like her.

-You'll have to do more than that.

Like really, really like her.

But do you love her?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

All right, Tam?

-How you doing?

-Hmm.

Unless you're after 15 kilos of mango chutney, I'm kind of busy.

No, see, we need you to distract Fatboy.

Just put on In The Night Garden.

No, seriously, you need to keep him here.

Why don't I like the sound of that?

Because...

because we split up, and now I'm with Tyler,

-and he's really upset about it.

-There's no dust on you.

Please, Tam. Please, just trust me, OK?

Fatboy. Can you just give me a hand?

Yeah, man, course. No worries, man.

Please.

It's all about the cheekbones, bruv.

I need to get me some cheekbones.

I still can't believe you and Whitney. I didn't see it coming.

Yeah, well, the thing about relationships, is that...

-She fancies him.

-Is that there ain't no sat nav, you know.

-Not one that works.

-Definitely fancies him.

And how is a brother supposed to know where he's going

if women have jacked all the sat navs?

I mean, I practically fancy him. I'm not even the gay one.

Hey, this is about me here, right. Not about you.

You're fine you don't need no sat nav. You're married,

Destination is here.

-So, when could you start?

-Afia, can I have a word?

-This is Ali.

-Wrong word.

It's not just your decision.

Your dad found him. He's great.

-Why? Just cos he's got cheekbones.

-What?

Your colleague was just telling me that...

What? She's not my colleague. She's my wife.

OK? The job's gone.

-We need waiters.

-Yeah, Fatboy's starting this evening.

Yeah.

Here every day. Tell your friends.

Well, I'm impressed.

Well, even princesses have their uses.

Put it there, girl. Boom.

I know. It's a long time since anyone's believed

I could do something.

You're going to ruin this now, ain't you, with a but or something?

Yeah?

There you go. Oh, no, no, no, don't go for that.

Go for the lamb. You want to kiss her afterwards. Trust me.

It's like Batman and Robin in your mouth. Kapow!

Fats, why don't you go home early?

-Wow. Fired three times in one day?

-No, no, you're not fired.

Just have the rest of the night off.

Afia.

We're supposed to be keeping an eye on him.

Do you want us to have any business left?

-He's not good-looking enough for you, is that it?

-What?

You want an excuse to get Cheekbones back.

You know what, Tam. I'm not even going to answer that.

Cos you can't. Cos I'm right.

Look, you said people, I gave you people.

These are people you've been out with.

This is a room full of gorgeous girls.

Yes, and the only gorgeous girl I've got my eye on is you.

All right?

-What if he hates it, eh?

-Look, how can he?

Right, there's only one way to find out.

The bloke Phil used to use has moved to Portugal.

And Derek is giving me nothing. Not a whisper.

I think we should drop the whole idea.

Like I said. Let it go.

Well, well, well, now, ain't this cosy?

You're having a laugh, ain't you?

I've been looking for you everywhere.

Come on.

So, you're working here now, are you?

-Alfie needed help.

-And my daughter's where?

-You might want to calm down.

-Amy is fine.

What, sat above a pub with some homeless chav watching DVDs?

Oi! You don't know her. Take that back.

Come on, Jack. Let's play nice.

-No, it's quality parenting.

-Roxy did help me out this morning.

If I hadn't seen her coming out the beauty salon,

-I'd have been in a right bind.

-Coming out the salon?

-Yeah, and what? What is it to you?

-So you take my daughter off me

so you can dump her with strangers and get your nails done?

Get off her back, will you?

Jack. Jack, you dropped the case, remember?

You forced my hand. You said you wanted to be a good mum.

You are palming Amy off all over the place.

-Why don't you just stay out of it?

-And now you're working here.

-Yes, to provide for her.

-Yeah, how's she going to bring herself up?

Jack. Jack, please, please listen to me, all right. Just let it go.

You're going to see her tomorrow. Please let it go.

Come on, Jack, eh?

D'you know what, you,

if you'd just stayed out of it we'd all be all right.

-Oi, oi, Rox.

-Woah, Roxy. Calm down.

You know what the Brannings are like, eh. We've got long memories.

All right? OK?

Come on. You OK, yeah?

All right.

What you smiling about?

Is that Derek's phone?

-You done all this for me?

-No hard feelings, eh?

All set up ready to go, man.

Wait, you done all this for me?

OK, my R&R massive! What going on?

-I love you, Whitney Dean.

-You'd better had.

It's your boy, DJ Fatboy Fats.

Bringing you the finest and biggest beats here in Walford.

This one's for you, Manic Monday crew!

CHEERING

3:34 this afternoon. One received call.

Must have fallen out of his pocket.

Mitchell to the core. So, you reckon he'll deliver straight here?

Do him. And make sure it hurts.

Every time you see her that's what it's going to be like.

Let me take care of it.

As long as she's around, it's going to be like that.

Then, let me take care of it.

-Ain't funny.

-And I ain't laughing.

Accidents happen.

It's my daughter, all right. It's going to be my way.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd