02/03/2012 EastEnders


02/03/2012

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Michael, wait!

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-I thought we could have a nice chat about Mandy!

-Hm-mm.

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Funny that, so did I.

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Er, Don't mind me.

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Tea, my darling? Or frothy coffee?

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Yeah, I went all the way up the high street for that.

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-SHE BREAKS WIND

-Oh you might want to open a window, sorry!

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Jalfrezi! When will I ever learn, eh?

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Urgh, dear!

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Who'd be a woman, eh?

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Why are you reading that, anyway?

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So I can answer Lola's questions,

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been a long time since I had mine, ain't it?

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She'll be fine.

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Don't you think?

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Least your baby's dad's on the scene. Lola's got NOTHING, has she?

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Cheers, Pops(!)

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-Lo, sorry, I didn't mean...

-Yeah.

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-You're eight minutes late.

-What you going to do,

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take it out my minimum wage?

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Actually, I was going to say not to worry about it,

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-considering it's your first day and all that.

-Oh...

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Right, well, I'd better go and meet Big-gob Bianca.

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-Anyone got any earplugs?

-Oi, oi, be nice! You need this job.

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I mean it, Janine.

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You've got it all, you have.

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Just hope you appreciate it.

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Eh? You're not supposed to be in till later this afternoon.

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I thought I'd relieve you for an hour, give you a leisurely elevenses.

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Have you seen my favourite gloves?

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Elevenses. Right.

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Not so sure I'd be happy to work extra hours

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-if someone left me an inheritance!

-My gloves?

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Well? How did it go? The will?

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You know solicitors - sharp suits, sweet words.

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Don't tell me, after all that, he's left you nothing.

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Worse.

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Worse how?

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He left me everything, OK?

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-Wow.

-Yes, "Wow," now do you want this break or not?

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Yeah, course. Thank you.

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-Everything?

-Yes, everything, Denise!

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Do you want me to get that club closed?

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You better get that donation to me by the end of the day.

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Not so mouthy now, are you? Now your other half ain't here.

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What's he, the wind beneath your wings?

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Look at me when I'm talking to you.

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Shame if he is, because I bumped into him just now on my way here

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and he said you were on your own.

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-Michael actually said that?

-Women like you always end up alone.

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A single mum's a single mum.

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No matter how much her shoes cost.

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-You're just as bad, for swallowing her rubbish!

-I know, all right,

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I should never have believed her.

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She tried to make out I was cheating, Ian,

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and she got proved totally wrong.

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And see, by the end of today you'll be wishing it was some fit bloke that turned up, rather than my mum.

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There's nothing a hot shower and a couple of cups of tea can't make better, eh?

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Er...that's mine.

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Oh, sorry, doll, I thought it was Mandy's.

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Mum!

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All right, calm down, I'm not naked!

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Goes on like a grandma, don't she, sometimes?

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Gran-dy Mandy!

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Bless.

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Right, I'm off to school, and you'll be gone when I'm back

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so if you leave the bedding, Mandy'll deal with it.

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-Sofa OK then?

-Yeah.

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If you knew some of the places I've had to lay my head you wouldn't ask me that question!

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Turn his hair white between us, wouldn't we, Mand?

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What about I cook us a nice lunch before we get off, yeah?

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My treat?

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-Here you are.

-Thank you.

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Oh, I wonder what Heather'll wear!

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I can't believe that I lost my favourite teapot lid.

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It was a Mother's Day present from Shabnam. The whole teapot, not just the lid.

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Are you even listening to me?

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For pity's sake, Denise, who cares?

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You think Kate Middleton's going to lose any sleep over what Heather is wearing?

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You're in a right sour mood! Remind me to never get left loads of money in a will!

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-Why are you being so aggressive?

-Show me a 21st century woman who isn't aggressive,

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confrontational, hard done by. No offence.

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Makes me glad I'm single.

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Got lucky the day that I met Mas.

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Marrying him was the best thing that I ever did.

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Yeah, won't mention divorcing him then.

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But luck isn't infinite, is it, Denise? It runs out.

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Oh, give me strength! What you after, eh?

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Keep me away from Joyful Jamila.

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All right, captain? You look like a chap what's in the know.

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Erm, sorry?

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Posties. You lot know EVERYTHING about everyone, don't you?

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Yeah, yeah. I suppose we do.

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Lorraine. I'm here to see my girl. She's marrying Ian,

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that ginger bloke from the chippy.

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Yeah. Nice to meet you.

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You off for a drink?

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-Just thought I'd treat myself to a cheese and onion pasty.

-I love pubs.

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It's how you really get to know a new place, innit?

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The local.

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Er, Lorraine, please. Why don't you let me buy you a drink?

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Welcome you to Walford.

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What a gent! After you.

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Janine, have you seen how much this...?

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Where you going?

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-A bit mother-of-the-bride.

-Village of the Damned, me.

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-I can't wait for you to get married.

-Don't hold your breath.

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Er, Nan, you've got me all wrong, seriously. I'm not anti-marriage.

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I'm just waiting for someone just like my dad.

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There are worse marriages.

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Really selling it to her, Tanya. Ain't you got feet to file?

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Well, excuse me for skiving off from the salon that I OWN

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to spend a bit of time with my family.

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Shouldn't you be in some classroom, getting patronised?

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No, that place gives me more of a headache than home.

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-Problems with the granny-in-law?

-Next time I have a great idea,

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lock me up until I change my mind, all right?

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Still on for lunch?

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-Yeah! Definitely. It's on you, ain't it?

-Mm-hm.

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It's just a shame you and Whitney don't get on, cos she's about this afternoon.

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-And she hates me.

-You did have that little thing with Tyler, didn't you?

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Yes, thank you, Mum!

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You girls should've learned that mates come before dates.

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There's a cruder way of putting it, but it means the same thing.

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Good friends are rare, you should hang on to them.

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I reckon the local's the best way to get a real feel of a place.

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Hm.

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I thought your friendly neighbourhood postman was facilitating in that regard.

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Oh, has he gone?

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Think you're all that and a bag of chips, don't you?

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-Yeah.

-Well, he's not that bad. When you get to know him.

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That some sort of foreplay?

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Ha-ha!

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Please just tell me what I can do so we can make up?

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No, the game's over.

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I want you, OK?

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You know that I want you and it's not just for this baby.

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For me as well.

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You're not the only one who doesn't know where they stand.

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It's not like you've smothered me in hearts and flowers.

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None that I haven't paid for, anyway.

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Why do you think that I push you away?

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Everybody...

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in my life has left me.

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Well, it's true, you know that!

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My mum, Dad...

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Pat...

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Grandma Lydia, Ryan...

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Even Ricky.

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And I cope!

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Most of the time.

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I'm used to it.

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I'm telling you that I don't want to "cope" any more. I just...

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I get scared, that's all.

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Do you really want to end it?

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You look upset.

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Well, I'm not exactly made of granite, am I!

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You'll be fine, Janine.

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You'll be fine. Woman of your means.

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Army of nannies...

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designer bibs!

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You won't even notice you're on your own.

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I don't want to be rich and alone.

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SHE CLEARS THROAT

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< DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

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-Ugh, you're old enough to be his mum!

-So?

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Anyway, where've you been? It don't take half hour to go and get wire wool, does it?

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Yeah, I know, it's a good job I'm back.

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Look at the smears on that.

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Says the girl that spat on the window and wiped it with her sleeve.

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Yes, I saw you, Lola!

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Least I ain't going grey!

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We'll see what Janine has to say about that, shall we?

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You can't tell her!

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I'm going to tell her you are rude and lazy.

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-That is what I am going to tell her. I could do with your shifts.

-But I can't lose this job!

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I've just gotta show my Pops I can do it and just make him proud of me.

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Hi.

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Erm...do you fancy lunch?

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Me?

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Yes, Bianca, I'm hardly going to invite...

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No offence.

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Come on, my treat.

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I've got some crisps in my bag, sorry.

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Just forget it!

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What are you gawping at?

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Is she pulling her weight round here? You know she's on trial, don't you?

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She's fine.

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Not that it matters anyway.

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Listen, I could always leave the crisps till tomorrow if you want?

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No, I'm fine.

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-Thanks, I owe you one.

-Just zip it, gobby, and get the hoover out!

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SHE SINGS ALONG TO RADIO

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I knew it! What, you thought you'd sniff around for a little bit and then get your feet under the table!

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-Was that cash I sent you, Mum, not enough for you?

-What's the biggie?

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A mum wanting to stay with her only daughter a couple of nights.

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There's five pairs of knickers there! I didn't know you owned five pairs!

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Why didn't you tell me about big Pat?

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-What?

-She was one of my oldest friends.

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She knew what it was like on the streets. Horrible punters and that. I should've been at her funeral.

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You hadn't seen her in years! Anyway, who told you?

0:12:420:12:46

Me and Lucy had a little chat.

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-Right, I bet you did.

-It's funny, innit?

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To think I wouldn't be here

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if it weren't for that stuck-up little madam.

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You don't like her cos she knows what you're about.

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And I met Patrick. Ooh, he's lovely!

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He was a good mate of Pat's.

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Said the funeral was REALLY emotional.

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You're stealing my life.

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Ooh, and I met that fit Indian fella, the postie,

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he filled me in on Ian.

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Far as I can see,

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turns out Ian is what we used to call "a good catch".

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His own business, this place, and he's obviously nuts about you.

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-Which means...

-I'm finally a little bit happy?

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What's his is yours!

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And what's yours is mine.

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Cos you wouldn't want to see your old mum struggle now, would you?

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To be honest, Mand, I am struggling a bit at the mo.

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Sorry, Mum, but you've got to go.

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Whit!

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I was thinking, I never really apologised for that thing with...

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-that...

-Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

0:14:060:14:09

It's fine cos I'm not threatened by you, Lucy.

0:14:090:14:12

Well, y'know it's good manners to graciously accept someone's apology?

0:14:120:14:17

Normally I wouldn't care what you think, but I am bothered about Lauren.

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She really wants us to get on

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and I think the least we can do is try.

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See you later.

0:14:280:14:29

Bye.

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I've been looking for you.

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Oh, that's funny, cos I was looking for you.

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I was going to ask if you fancied going for, like, a posh lunch

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but now is not the time for sitting around eating prawns and creme brulee.

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Now is the time to think about work and the future.

0:14:500:14:54

Oh, good, cos some bloke called for you.

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He's a developer...

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developing a thing down at the river, yeah.

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-Reckons it's a once-in-a-lifetime offer.

-Oh!

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Oh-ho, perfect!

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Until Baby Butcher comes along,

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I am going to need all the distractions I can get.

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-He wants to talk it over with you face-to-face.

-OK, well, at least it's going to take my mind off

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being dateless and desperate.

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Michael Moon is in the past

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and me and this little baby, we are the future!

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What do you mean "the past"?

0:15:270:15:29

It's over, Billy.

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It's good! No, it's fine. It's all good.

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And...well, this little business venture is exactly what I need...

0:15:340:15:37

Janine, listen why don't we go and have a bit of lunch, eh?

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-You haven't got to be at this bloke's beck and call, have you?

-It's too late! I've got to dash.

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I've got money on my mind and my mind on money.

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SHE CACKLES

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Don't you get sick of chips?

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Well, my aim in life is to never see, fry or smell another one, but for now, at least they're free.

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Wait, I bet that's Fatboy. He can sniff free food a mile away!

0:16:050:16:09

Do you mind if I join you?

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Good job I nicked this from my mum's stash then, ain't it?

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(I'll get the glasses.)

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Ian!

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I got your favourite. Carbonara, extra cheese.

0:16:380:16:42

-Thanks, darling.

-That's all right.

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Probably won't be as good as yours, though.

0:16:430:16:45

Listen, we, erm...

0:16:450:16:47

We need to have a chat about your mum.

0:16:470:16:50

Oh, yeah, she had to go.

0:16:500:16:53

She said sorry about lunch, but that's why I got this!

0:16:530:16:57

Why?

0:16:570:16:58

-Well, cos it's your favourite.

-No, why did she have to go?

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It's not like she's the sort of person who's got loads of appointments and stuff.

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No offence.

0:17:050:17:06

That's why!

0:17:060:17:08

Because you look at her and you see me differently.

0:17:080:17:11

Mandy, we've all got embarrassing relatives in our past.

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Not like mine.

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Not like hers.

0:17:170:17:19

How many times have I got to tell you, all right? I love you.

0:17:190:17:23

Which means I love all of you and that includes the bits you hate.

0:17:230:17:26

Yeah, but it's...

0:17:260:17:28

When she's about, it's just like there's some sort of hell waiting round the corner.

0:17:280:17:32

Know what I think?

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I think you need to smooth things over with your mum, OK.

0:17:340:17:37

Put what's in the past IN the past where it belongs.

0:17:370:17:39

But...you don't know what she's like.

0:17:400:17:43

No. So I asked her to stay.

0:17:450:17:47

Lorraine!

0:17:480:17:49

She wants to work it out as much as you.

0:17:530:17:54

Course I do! You're my little girl!

0:17:540:17:58

I tell you what, how about I go and get some of that cheesecake you like?

0:17:580:18:01

See you in a minute.

0:18:010:18:02

Sly piece of work, ain't you? With your cushy little number.

0:18:060:18:09

Well, you are forgetting who taught you!

0:18:090:18:12

Me and you, we're going to have a ball.

0:18:120:18:15

No, I don't want to be hammered for school.

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Plus if I did, Dad will sever my limbs.

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That's all right, just sue him for compo!

0:19:050:19:07

Oi, imagine if we could sue our parents!

0:19:070:19:10

All three of us, we'd be billionaires!

0:19:100:19:12

I'm not interested in all that. Money don't make you happy, does it?

0:19:120:19:15

Yeah, well, how would you know if you've never had it?

0:19:150:19:17

I tell you why, cos I've never been so happy

0:19:170:19:21

than when me and Tyler are sitting on that sofa of his eating crisps.

0:19:210:19:24

-That don't cost nothing, does it?

-Have you seen the price of potatoes nowadays?

0:19:240:19:28

You seen the price of everything!

0:19:280:19:30

D'you know what, this is what winds me up, yeah!

0:19:300:19:33

Right, they cut people's benefits, they axe loads of people's jobs

0:19:330:19:37

-but the price of things just gets higher and higher!

-You don't know what it's like to be skint, Lauren.

0:19:370:19:41

Whitney, I work at my dad's low-rent car lot.

0:19:410:19:44

-POSH ACCENT:

-Oh, how terrible for you.

-Shut up.

0:19:440:19:47

Whitney's right. You don't know what skint is if you've got a family to fall back on and a nice house.

0:19:470:19:51

No. It don't mean I don't understand!

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Yeah, you don't know what it's like to be skint. That's the way it is.

0:19:540:19:58

Rubbish!

0:19:580:19:59

No, you've got to appreciate the small things in life.

0:19:590:20:02

Oh, right, well we'll see how happy you are, right,

0:20:020:20:05

when you can't pay for your rent or for those crisps!

0:20:050:20:07

It's important, innit? Family, friends, love...

0:20:070:20:10

-Crisps...

-Yeah, and what about security?

0:20:100:20:12

Knowing that you don't have to rely on your dad

0:20:120:20:15

or some sappy guy?

0:20:150:20:16

We might be in a recession, but I'm going to make it, one way or another.

0:20:160:20:21

Uh!

0:20:210:20:22

You two, you two are scaring me!

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Right!

0:20:240:20:26

Right, where did my nan hide her sherry?

0:20:260:20:29

-Sherry?

-Sherry.

0:20:290:20:31

# Sherry...

0:20:310:20:34

-# Sherry baby! #

-THEY LAUGH

0:20:340:20:37

Wow.

0:20:450:20:47

I hope you've got a head for heights.

0:21:080:21:11

CLUTTERING CROCKERY

0:21:120:21:14

SHE SIGHS

0:21:570:21:58

So, you want to tell me what's really bugging you?

0:22:000:22:04

I never found those gloves, did I?

0:22:050:22:07

-And my teapot lid.

-This ain't about a teapot!

-OK, my tooth is cracked!

0:22:080:22:12

-You were shovelling them pistachios!

-My bathroom light doesn't work,

0:22:120:22:16

-I've been overcharged on my gas bill and Tamwar has a boil on his chin.

-So, you've had a bad day.

0:22:160:22:21

So I've had a bad day?! Do you not get it, Denise?

0:22:210:22:26

It's cursed!

0:22:260:22:28

That filthy blood money that that man left me. It's cursed.

0:22:280:22:32

And there I was thinking I was going to meet a man who was going to make me very rich.

0:22:360:22:40

Or rich-er.

0:22:400:22:41

Had to get your attention somehow.

0:22:410:22:43

You had my attention, Michael, when you rejected my offer of the future.

0:22:430:22:47

A family.

0:22:470:22:49

And you were serious about that, were you?

0:22:490:22:51

I was.

0:22:510:22:52

I'm so tired of all the "if only"s.

0:22:550:22:58

When we were kids...

0:23:020:23:03

..me and Jack used to run up a tower block out there.

0:23:050:23:08

It's out there somewhere, in the sprawl.

0:23:080:23:11

The lifts wouldn't work, you know, so we'd get to the top and...

0:23:110:23:14

you'd be so knackered,

0:23:140:23:16

and it would be like you were going to be sick.

0:23:160:23:20

There were no safety rails, no nothing,

0:23:200:23:22

and we would just stand on the top and you would...

0:23:220:23:24

And I'll never forget the feeling of...the whole city...

0:23:270:23:32

just laid out before me, the whole world...

0:23:320:23:35

..just waiting for me to conquer it.

0:23:370:23:39

Some of us just made do with Barbies.

0:23:400:23:43

Yeah.

0:23:430:23:45

I never forget that feeling...

0:23:500:23:52

that it could all belong to me.

0:23:520:23:55

If only that bird hadn't screwed me over,

0:23:580:24:00

-if only that business deal hadn't gone sour, if only...

-If only...

0:24:000:24:03

If only you hadn't been so selfish?

0:24:030:24:05

Or cold?

0:24:070:24:08

Something I heard earlier, about luck...

0:24:100:24:14

is that if you have it, you need to keep it close to you

0:24:140:24:16

because maybe it runs out.

0:24:160:24:19

If it does, you may never get it back again.

0:24:190:24:21

So maybe you...

0:24:210:24:23

..are the piece that makes all of it possible?

0:24:250:24:29

You know, separately we're good, but together we could be great...

0:24:310:24:36

I mean, together, think what we could achieve. Huh?

0:24:360:24:40

Isn't that what you want?

0:24:410:24:43

Oh, that was gorge! What's it called again?

0:24:580:25:01

Carburettor?

0:25:010:25:03

Carbonara.

0:25:030:25:05

Ain't I a div? I'm such a div, ain't I Gran-dy?

0:25:050:25:07

LORRAINE LAUGHS

0:25:070:25:09

-You all right, love? It's not like you.

-Move.

0:25:120:25:15

CUTLERY CLATTERS

0:25:150:25:17

LAUREN LAUGHS

0:25:250:25:26

I'm going to go. Lauren!

0:25:270:25:30

Lauren, you caned all that drink!

0:25:300:25:33

Two bottles to yourself?!

0:25:330:25:36

< Hi!

0:25:360:25:37

That is my mum! She can't see me like this!

0:25:370:25:40

Turn the music off!

0:25:400:25:42

MUSIC STOPS

0:25:420:25:43

She just left.

0:25:440:25:46

Oh, she said she was going to pop in and see me

0:25:460:25:48

before she went back to work.

0:25:480:25:50

Did you have a nice lunch?

0:25:500:25:52

-Yeah, great!

-Good. It was nice.

0:25:520:25:55

I've been here before.

0:25:590:26:00

-I just don't know if I believe in destiny and soulmates any more.

-No.

0:26:020:26:08

You haven't been here before.

0:26:080:26:11

Not here. Not now.

0:26:110:26:15

Not with me.

0:26:150:26:16

Janine...

0:26:170:26:19

Marry me.

0:26:250:26:26

-Has the height made you slightly delirious?

-You're it.

0:26:290:26:33

You're it, Janine.

0:26:330:26:35

That missing bit. I know I'm yours...

0:26:350:26:39

Why do you think I brought you here?!

0:26:410:26:43

Come on, marry me!

0:26:430:26:45

-Huh?

-SHE LAUGHS

0:26:460:26:48

Yeah?!

0:26:480:26:49

Yes. Yes!

0:26:500:26:53

-Yes!

-Yes.

0:26:560:26:58

-Oh.

-Yeah.

0:27:030:27:06

Look, you're going to have to give me your finger. Look...

0:27:060:27:09

What, you think I'd risk getting a ring without your approval?

0:27:090:27:13

You're just going to have to make do.

0:27:130:27:17

I can't believe I got down on one knee! That's just so cheesy.

0:27:180:27:22

Hearts and flowers?

0:27:220:27:24

I know, they're gorgeous.

0:27:240:27:26

You're crazy!

0:27:310:27:32

This is going to be the start of massive things for us.

0:27:380:27:42

Happy?

0:27:460:27:47

I love you.

0:27:510:27:53

That's why you have to sign a prenup.

0:27:560:27:58

I said that I didn't want to end up rich and alone

0:28:000:28:03

and I definitely don't want to end up skint and alone.

0:28:030:28:06

Let's conquer the world, baby!

0:28:090:28:12

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