18/05/2012 EastEnders

No, the bigger the better.

Yeah, I'll pop in later on, we'll get it all firmed up, yeah?

And, listen, I don't want no-one paying for anything.

Have you go that? All right. Cheers, bud.

Can we come out yet?

I should be revising!

All right. Close your eyes, girls.

Come on.

That's it. Stand there, keep them closed. And you, come on.

That's it, ladies, keep them closed. And...open!

-Oh! Pressies!

-Pressies.

-Here, let me give you a hand.

-No, I've got it.

Thank you. I've got it.

No! Don't open them. Just leave them.

Come and finish opening your presents, yeah?

Have you won the lottery or something?

I just wanted to do something nice.

I know that's hard to believe considering the mood I've been in.

Where's Bobby?

At...school.

After your performance yesterday, he couldn't wait to get there.

Have you even slept?

Last but not least...

Oh, Ian! Oh, this is amazing!

-Oh, thank you so much!

-It's OK.

Don't forget your card.

Do I look like the sort of girl that opens the card before the presents?

-I've got to go.

-You're leaving?

Yeah, but I'm leaving you in the knowledge that the best is yet to come.

It's study leave, not sleep leave.

I've been working. Upstairs.

Anyway, what's all this for?

I'm going round Hev's, to pack her stuff away properly.

Take what I can to the charity shop and give the keys back to Janine.

I need more tape.

It's good she's clearing everything out.

-It won't be worth anything unless you learn to live under the same roof as her.

-I am.

Shirley? I was thinking maybe a bit later we could all go out for a curry or something?

Yeah. As long as he don't have a vindaloo.

Happy?

No.

We'll get there, though.

Dad, you promise Ian ain't going to say nothing?

I told you. It's over.

Yeah, but ain't you forgetting someone?

It's back to plain old Kimberley's Palace now, innit?

It's like an arrow through my heart, you know.

Ooh, or a javelin.

-What you smirking at?

-Don't have a go at her.

Last thing you need is to be slung in front of a judge on trademark infringement.

KNOCK ON DOOR

KNOCKING CONTINUES

I've just been round the launderette.

And you weren't there. Again.

You watched the DVD yet?

No. I haven't had the time.

I'm just going round Hev's. Pack a few things up.

I thought there might be something you'd like to keep?

Perhaps another time.

There ain't going to be another time, Dot. This is it.

Well, I'm very happy you're in a place where you can throw her life in a box.

Do you really think I want to do this?

And why ain't you at work?

Some time today.

Sorry. That's £2.80.

I've just given you a fiver.

-TILL OPENS

-No fivers in there.

-Well I've paid you.

-Here, I'll get it.

Wait. You're owed wages from The Arches.

Well, it's your money, you've earned it.

You either pick it up or it'll go into petty cash.

Have you seen my exam timetable?

You know, I don't mean to boast or anything,

but I reckon I got more presents than you and Bobby.

Do you reckon there's money in that card?

What does it say?

All right?

So I've drawn up a short list of bands.

I reckon we need to have a magician for the kids. They like that after the speeches.

I meant what I said. I don't want to get married.

Don't be ridiculous, we're having a baby together.

Yes, and your little swimmers have done their job, and you're done.

You're just feeling...hormonal. PMT. That'll be it.

-Really?

-Yeah, yeah, you're a beautiful expectant mother.

Look at you. You've just got to embrace it.

Exactly. Look at me.

People won't know if it's a bride walking down the aisle, all right,

or Heather Trott's second coming.

You should lay off the carbs, then.

Were there any other diet tips?

-What's that?

-The last of what I owe you.

I'd prefer it if you took back my criminal conviction.

It was benefit fraud not genocide.

Ray has got today off. So not only am I events manager, but I'm also head chef.

So not today, Mo Harris. Not today.

You took the fine, this is your due. Oh, I'll leave it upstairs.

-What's she flapping for?

-She's having a bit of an off day. It's a five or a six, all right.

Sorry, Patrick. The fish smelt a bit fishy so I've done you corn beef hash instead.

You are so good to me.

Easy, Patrick, easy.

Oh, that reminds me. I found these on the bathroom floor.

Nearly broke me neck.

-Well, don't look at me.

-They're not mine, are they?

It won't happen again.

Kat's going to love this, ain't she?

Keep it down. She's my mate and I'm doing her a favour. How many times I got to tell you?

Mo, how's Charlie getting on?

Better. That's why I'm back - to keep an eye on Casanova.

-Oh, shut up!

-MOBILE RINGS

Oh. Shirley?

Is this some sort of sick joke?

What?

Cindy was your first wife.

The other day you're accusing me of sleeping with Phil,

yesterday you're biting Lucy and Bobby's head off, and today this.

Do you even love me anymore?

I've had a lot on my mind lately, all right?

Well, that makes two of us.

Look, it was meant to be a surprise, OK?

But if you want the truth, you might as well know now.

Know what?

-I've been planning a party for you.

-What party?

-I'm throwing a surprise party for you tonight.

-I get a party?

-Yeah.

Please tell me you haven't.

Oh, come on, Dot, this is not like you at all.

-I've never known you miss a day off work.

-It's unheard of.

What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?

But it's not healthy, man,

you moping around in your dressing gown like this.

I am not moping and I am not missing work.

I'm taking a day off, which is a very different proposition.

If you're having a day's leave, come to the Vic and have a drink.

You know very well that I never touch alcohol,

except on special occasions.

-Ooh, look!

-What?

Another flying pig darts across the pink skies of Walford.

I will not tolerate sarcasm in me own home.

Lucy, you've got the wrong end of the stick. You really have.

I'm not broke. Far from it.

How are you planning on paying my tuition fees?

With bread and butter? My future for her. Thanks(!)

I hope you're not talking about me.

You're overdrawn on all your accounts. All your credit cards are maxed out.

Luce, Luce, OK, listen, I'm a businessman.

I've just moved stuff around, I've invested.

You don't have to worry about money.

There's more than enough for your tuition fees and for all of us.

Happy now? Drama queen.

So why have you been acting so weird?

Cos I'm a dad. That's my job!

Look, honestly, everything's fine, OK. Cross me heart.

Right. OK. Well, I've got to revise.

Listen, I've got a few things I need to go and sort out. Can you hold the fort for me?

Yeah, seeing as you're making it so worth my while.

I tell you what, this party is going to be the biggest party ever.

See you later.

FRONT DOOR OPENS

I'll have that key back too please.

You need to get ready.

-I've got you an appointment with a top body specialist person.

-Oh.

-Michael, literally, please stop talking to me.

-I'm serious.

He's worked with all the big names. He manages pregnancy weight.

Stretch marks. He loves stretch marks, this bloke.

-Harley Street, he's a top geezer.

-Harley Street?

Yeah, I got you a cancellation.

So, you know, if you're worried about...being a fat bird,

he'll sort you out. Yeah?

He's not here.

-You two sorted now?

-Yeah, yeah, course.

Good. Well, listen, tonight, the Vic, nine o'clock.

It's going to make one of P Diddy's parties look like a coffee morning in Richmond.

-Right. Can I have a cup of tea, please?

-Sure.

-Can I sit?

-No.

-How's life at the Brannings', then?

-Well, it weren't ever permanent.

Jay, I don't know why you didn't come back when Dad said.

He ain't drinking now. It's better.

Jay, what do you want me to do to make it right, eh?

-Cos, I mean, I'll do anything.

-I think that you've done enough.

Yeah. So much for being brothers, eh?

All right. Wait.

Your dad still owes me wages. Can you get them for me?

You know, when my school had asbestos, yeah,

I was out with my mates, having fun.

If someone killed you, right here, right now,

they would flee the scene with tiny nail particles

which would ultimately betray them to forensics.

Listen, don't even joke about that,

not after they bumped off Heather Trott.

They haven't found her killer yet, have they?

Is death the only thing you're interested in?

I told you, I'm going to be a forensic scientist when I'm older.

You wouldn't rather be famous?

Her flat is just round the corner, isn't it?

-Don't even think about it.

-What, are you scared?

Dad. Jay's come to collect his wages.

I thought it might be the belt or the alternator.

-Sounds like the water pump.

-Seemed all right to me. But why don't you take a look?

What are you looking at him for? I'm the one who's talking.

I just want me wages, Phil, all right?

-Jay!

-Just leave him.

-Yeah, well, what now, eh?

What is this place and why are we here?

My job isn't done. This baby's yours and mine. I want you to see that.

Well, I've already seen it.

The first two scans.

The scans that I weren't at? Those two scans?

-Are we keeping scores now?

-Yeah, we are, yeah. Third time lucky.

Alfie, I went out with an American once.

He was a vegetarian, of all things.

Yeah. Mo, less of the bunny, all right? We've got a lot to do.

Nothing like a bit of notice, is there? What does he want, Vegas?

No, Roxy, Ian's a mate of mine, all right?

He's been through a tough time. I want to do something special for him.

-Looks a bit cheap, doesn't it?

-Your mum didn't have a hand in designing it, did she?

I'm only doing this cos you ain't shut up about it.

Seriously, anyone would think you were the kid.

"Seriously, anyone would think you were the kid."

I was worried that if you took them, that would be it between us.

Listen, I'm not very good at this sort of thing.

Well, you know, you've been like a son to me

and a brother to Ben.

-Look what it's got me.

-Everything that's happened, it's over.

There's nothing and no-one to worry about anymore.

Except you.

You're an alcoholic, violent bully

who was happy to let Andrew and then Billy take the rap for something that someone else did.

Your own cousin.

You won't understand until you have kids of your own.

-When you do, you realise you'll do anything for them. Anything.

-At what cost?

Shirley. You. My health.

But I'm going to meetings again now and Shirley's come home.

But I'd do the same again for my boy and I'd do the same for you.

Listen, right now, Shirley's over at Heather's packing up her stuff.

She's taking it down the charity shop. The old bill ain't got a lead. No-one is going to be charged.

It's over. So, please, please, come back home.

You're a good kid.

I would offer you a cup of tea but we've run out of tea bags.

Cora was too busy and Rose forgot.

That's all right, I've got my caffeine hit here.

I was only coming round to tell you about the party.

Oh, I heard. It's the talk of the town.

I'll tell you what, no expense spared.

It is going to be a great night. A great night.

I did come to the launderette but you weren't there.

Why does everybody keep going on about that?

I'm entitled to a day off, aren't I, a little break?

-Why don't you sit down?

-No, I'm fine. I am perfectly fine.

I tell you what, Dot, why don't you be fine sat down? Come on. There you go.

You're grieving. It's normal.

Yes, well, with Pat, you see, it was sudden but she'd had her life.

Whereas Heather, her life was only just beginning.

Oh, that poor girl. I can't stop thinking about it.

You know, it keeps going round and round in my head, like a wheel, spinning.

Why don't you go see a doctor or a grief counsellor?

I mean, I used to love going into that launderette, but now I dread it.

Cos every time, it's just a reminder.

Why don't you get away? You know, have a break?

What? And leave Jim in a home? I couldn't. I couldn't possibly.

Did Phil come and see you yesterday?

Cos I had a word with him. It's wrong the way he treats you.

Dot, don't worry, that's all sorted.

Listen, your Jim - Dot, he's in good hands.

And if I was you? Up and gone in a flash. Just get away.

Yeah, but you're needed here.

I mean, have you made it up with him?

-Who?

-Your brother.

Ben. He's lost a very dear friend too. He needs you.

He was telling me how much he was looking forward to performing his duties at your forthcoming nuptials.

Oh, he's my best man!

Yeah, and a fine one he'll make.

You hadn't forgotten it, had you?

It just squiggles. I can't see nothing.

So paternal(!)

Don't worry, that's the 2D imaging. Now we're high-tech.

We're going 4D.

-JANINE GASPS

-There we are. How's that?

-Oh.

You can actually see its little face. It looks like a real baby.

It is a real baby.

Is it a boy or girl?

-I thought you said you didn't want to know?

-No, please.

I can't keeping calling it "it". I need to know.

-I can give you a few minutes?

-All right. Shall we?

Yeah, OK, we need to know.

OK, let's have a look, then.

So what do you think, Cluedo?

Winston, tufty head down the market, reckons that it was a robbery that went wrong.

And then bang, bang, bang...

She was battered to death with bullets by a hooded man.

Blood and brains were everywhere. Urgh!

I can see why you want to get into all this. Gives a real rush, innit?

Sasha, what you crying for?

Don't leave me on my own here!

-Dad!

-Sasha!

Hey. What's wrong? What happened?

What have you done to my daughter?

If you don't take something, you're going to regret it.

It just don't feel the same without her here.

Nothing's the same.

But we've got to get used to different.

What you going to have, then, Dad?

I reckon I might have a peshwari naan or definitely a chapatti.

I might even have some rice.

All right?

Make sure you save some room for sundae at your party.

Why don't we just ditch this and head over there now?

No, I just want to spend some time the two of us.

I know I've been a nightmare lately.

-The nightmare's over, OK?

-Too many of them energy drinks.

What is it? What's wrong?

Nothing. It's a bit hot.

-What, a korma?

-This table all right for you?

-Fine, thanks.

-Some poppadoms, please.

-Sure.

Yeah, and, please, if he orders a vindaloo give him a masala.

Why do you keep looking over?

I'm... No... I don't.

Poppadoms for the Addams family, please.

Are you going to eat that?

I need some air. I'll be two minutes.

So paint for the nursery. Pink?

Oh! Um... No.

This little lady is going to be more independent woman than pink pushover, thank you very much.

We'll discuss it and get back to you.

Oh, will you?

You still want to get married?

More than you'll ever know.

Let's do it, then, Daddy.

CRIES OF SURPRISE FROM INSIDE

BELL RINGS Listen up, folks! If I could have your attention, please. Thank you.

As you're all aware, half of Walford is down. Sadly, no power.

And due to health and safety regulations,

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to leave

until we're up and running again. ALL GROAN

Stop whinging, stop moaning. Come on, everybody. Everybody out. Come on, let's go.

That includes you, Cora. Come on, chop, chop! All out. Let's go.

Now, listen to me. This pub would have been doing business during the Blitz,

serving pints the night the Berlin Wall fell

and flogging pork scratchings the day Diana died.

-Now, come on, do your duty, my man.

-Yeah!

Yeah. Grandad, look, it's a party.

Just bolt the doors and call it a lock-in.

-Come on, Alf, play the game, mate.

-Come on, Alfie.

Am I the sheriff in this town, or am I the sheriff?

Let's have a lock-in! CHEERING

Take one of these and return for your free meal. Really sorry about this.

All right, cheers.

-Have you seen Ian?

-Have I seen...?

-Ian.

-No.

Sorry.

Excuse me, guys, we really have to close up.

-So I can put it in a doggy bag for you if you want?

-Do I look like a dog to you?

-No.

No. It's...for the food.

You knew it was the water pump, didn't you?

Yeah.

Phil...

Here you are, mate.

Who let you have the vindaloo?

Yeah, don't worry, he's on the sofa tonight.

-To us.

-To us.

-To us.

-To us.

ALL: # Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

# Them good old boys were drinking whisky and rye

# Sayin' this'll be the day that I die

# This'll be... #

Patrick, I think you'd better come and see this.

Ian, it's Alfie. Where are you, mate? Everyone's waiting. Give me a shout when you're on your way over.

Hurry up. Bye.

It's a lock-in.

Alfie, I'll have a double.

Just tell me what's happened.

Look, I just don't want to talk about it, OK? I'm in pieces.

Oh, free food!

Dorothy!

Dot?

What's all this?

Well, I've got to get away. Suddenly it hit me -

the misery, people dying, moving away.

So I asked Jack if he'd keep a look out, you know, for Jim.

-Where you going?

-Well, I've told you I've got to get away.

So I'm going to go and stay with Sandy, me daughter-in-law

and spend time with my little Dotty.

You can't leave. Who's going to make the tea in the morning?

I think it's a fantastic idea. Go, man.

Go and recharge your batteries.

What about me?

What about you?

You can't leave me again.

I never did leave you. It was you what left me,

taking my Charlie with you.

Oh, Dot.

That's enough, Rose Elizabeth. I ain't going to the North Pole.

Bye.

Where are you? Pick up!

Ian?

Ian, what you doing?

Ian, stop it. You're scaring me.

We need to leave.

Leave where?

Here. Straight after the wedding we're going to leave,

and we can never, ever come back.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd