11/09/2012 EastEnders

DOOR CLOSES

BABY COOS

Kat, it's your turn...

Where the hell have you been?

There you are.

Couldn't sleep.

Me neither.

Yeah, so I just came downstairs.

That's funny. I came downstairs too.

I went for a walk.

It was the middle of the night.

That's the best time, I find, for a stroll.

Anyway. Just going to go and put some breakfast on.

Good night last night, weren't it? Almost.

I know, sorry about my dad.

Yes, well, adults - they're the worst things ever invented, I think.

-Surprised he's not down here bellowing out Frank Sinatra in our faces.

-Yeah.

Actually, that's weird, now you mention it.

Weird? No. It's a blessing.

Yeah, but it's not like him. He's usually up at the crack of dawn.

Yeah well, enjoy it, that's what I say.

Did you hear him come in last night?

No. Did you?

No...

No, I didn't. Dad?

Dad?

Tommy, Tommy... Hello, mate...

Whoa, come here. What you doing? Have you filled your nappy?

Kat, we've got a live one here, darling.

Kat?

Two makes five. Thanks. Have a nice day, yeah?

I've got all your superfoods here, got your blueberries, your blackberries.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, super. Nice...

-Yes, love?

All right. All right, what you pushing me for?

This I've got to see.

Babe, maybe tomorrow, yeah?

You're still sweating gin.

No. You two got a deal - she runs, she gets to burn some serious excess,

and then she becomes Miss World.

That can still happen.

-All right. OK. But we'll start easy, yeah?

-All right.

Let's go!

Whoa! Where you going?!

"Run, Kimberley, run!"

Shut up, man.

-Ian? You ain't seen Kat, have you?

-Bit early for your missus, ain't it?

Yeah, what I was thinking.

-What's the matter, Alf? You lost something?

-Just a wife.

You couldn't do us a favour, could ya?

I need an hair of the dog. All got a bit messy last night.

Go on, help yourself.

That's what I like about you, Alfie. You're a very accommodating man.

Thank you.

Stop! Come back here!

Stop that man!

MOBILE RINGS

Kim? Kim, will you speak to me?

I'm... I'm dying.

Where's mine?

Mine? There is no "mine".

All a bit Andy Capp, innit?

You didn't think to text, didn't think to phone.

Babe, I was having a couple of drinks with my brothers, not a crime, is it?

You've got work. You've got the kids, you've got me. None of that come into your head last night?

Well, yeah it did sort of come into my head, then it sort of went again.

What about Lauren, eh? You're meant to be setting an example.

You want to take a leaf out of her book cos she phoned me, tell me where she was.

I was enjoying myself, all right? A bloke's allowed to do that every now and again.

Enjoying yourself. So there were girls there?

Girls? What are you talking about? Not with Derek there anyway.

He don't exactly attract the opposite sex.

That's actually like saying if Derek wasn't with you, there would've been girls there.

There's only one woman for me.

Not right now there ain't.

You should've just told me if you were having trouble sleeping.

It's just Scarlett. I can hear her moving around, all that sound she makes.

-She can't help it.

-And I can't help hearing it.

She won't always be like that, Michael. She will settle.

Good. Then maybe I'll settle.

Next time, try and keep up, babe.

Hold up, sonny. I saw you earlier.

Saw me what?

Just following up a line of enquiry. There's been a spate of muggings.

What you talking about, man? I ain't done no mugging.

-Want to open up that jacket. Looks bulky under there.

-Mate, I just told you, yeah, I ain't no mugger.

That's "officer" to you. Now be a good boy.

It's just a routine stop and search.

Let me hear it first.

-Hear what?

-The description. Or shall I tell it to you? Hmm? "Black guy".

Yeah? Black man, mugger.

-Ah, there's a black man right here, he'll do. Hmm?

-Open your jacket.

-So I'm running, I'm black, so that makes me guilty, yeah?

-The jacket.

This is profiling, you know.

-You're accusing a man on the grounds of the colour of his skin.

-It's part of the stop and search procedure.

Nothing else. Have a look at this chart and you tell me

-how you would describe your ethnic identity.

-I thought I just did!

I'm not accusing you of anything. I just want to follow up on a series of muggings...

Tell you what. You know what, before you go running to your mummy, here, they're weights, not a bomb.

Flippin' ridiculous, you know.

Man goes out jogging and gets 20 years.

-All right, sir. That's far enough, I'm satisfied now.

-No, no, I tell you what, yeah? I'll go further.

All right? Yeah. I'll go all the way in fact.

Here, mate. You want to put that in your report?

Ray Dixon happily obliges. Yeah?

We'll leave it there, sir. Thank you for your cooperation.

Pathetic.

That's a flippin' joke, man!

Oi, sleeping beauty!

What you doing out here?

This is a bit of me, innit? I like to get in touch with nature.

And how does it feel?

Yeah, good. Very natural, waking up beside you.

That's not quite how I saw this.

Seeing you first thing in the morning, I could do with that.

-Even with a hangover, you've still got the lines.

-They working yet?

Not quite. But keep trying, eh?

Hey. So, busy day?

Yeah, pretty much.

-What you got lined up?

-Work.

I know that, silly.

Just...usual stuff.

-Well, have a nice day.

-Thank you.

Billy.

Yeah, he's on his way, but listen - I want you to watch him like a hawk.

Every place that he goes, every person he meets

and every phone-call he makes.

Last I saw of her, she was trying to

-burn off a thousand cakes worth of calories.

-All right, cheers.

Oi, oi. You look like you had a good night last night.

Do I now?

-KIM:

-Help!

Alfie, I need some water. Water, water...

Kim, you seen Kat? I mean, she was with you last night, yeah?

Well, you say that, but...

Kim! Kim! You could've woke me up. What a night, eh?

We owe her £30 for the room that she chucked me in.

You crash at the B&B, then?

Yeah. Tell him, Kim.

Uh yeah... We were wrecked, I said to her, you know,

you should go home and then, next thing you know, we were more wrecked...

Glad to see I wasn't the only one partying last night.

Thank you, Alf.

-See ya later.

-See ya later.

What am I like, eh?

Yeah.

What if he's been knocked down and killed?

We can only dream, eh?

It's not funny.

-Alice, he'll just have been out torturing someone, that's all.

-Joey, please...

I'm telling you, Alice. There's some poor family chained up to a train track right now.

Derek, you can't just take that.

Fruit is good for a hangover. Do you want to know why?

It's the sweetness.

Good morning, sweetheart. All right?

-There goes that dream.

-And where have you been?

I've been out. Why? What's it got to do with you?

You should tell me next time.

Aww. She really cares about me, Joe.

You better get back out there, before the rest gets nicked.

So, where were you then?

One minute you're in the R&R, the next thing you know, you've vanished.

Nowhere really. I just... wandered off.

Nowhere is always somewhere, Kat.

All right, you've got me, but you can't tell Alfie.

Not so sure I want to hear this now.

I got a call from my mate, Debbie, and she'd had a row with her fella.

And Alfie can't stand her

because he thinks she's a bad influence on me. Which she is.

All right. I gotcha. Mum's the word, my lips are zippity-zipped.

-However, I want to meet this Debbie some day, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Catch you later. See ya.

-See ya.

Can't believe it, eh? Never guess who can get out of his cot now?

-He's still not sleeping?

-Nah, misses his mummy, don't ya?

-Yes, you do.

-I'm sorry about last night.

I closed my eyes for a second, next thing I know it's tomorrow.

It's all right. You were only across the road, weren't you?

-Good boy.

-Why do you put up with me?

Where'd that come from?

Serious. Why do you love me?

Oh, dunno, darling. It's chemistry, innit? My atoms get together with your atoms

and they get all excited, don't they?

Right...

OK? Your turn.

He needs changing. Come on, Tommy.

-Go to Mummy.

-There's my boy.

You're meant to be watching Michael.

He's with a client. What you doing?

Loading spyware. I'm going to put it on every computer he touches.

I will be able to see what websites he visits,

e-mails he sends, files he may delete.

-Hold on a minute, Janine, this is nuts.

-BABY CRIES

-Ain't you going to sort her out?

-Yeah. Once I've done this.

He went out last night in the middle of the night, for "a walk".

-I mean, who does that?

-Look at yourself!

-You're getting so wound up, you're seeing all he does in a bad light.

-The man I married ripped Jean off

and he lied to my face, and he's lying again.

OK. OK. So what are you going to do if you actually find something on there, eh?

Have you thought about that? Only, you keep digging, Janine...

Please, just go back to the office, Billy.

BABY CONTINUES TO CRY

Why didn't you wake me? Yeah, I had to get back an' all!

I've got things in my life as well, you know.

That is no way to show someone that you love 'em, trust me.

No, I don't want you ringing me anymore.

I'll ring you from now on. And that's if I can be bothered.

BANGING

Whoa, you joined a marching band or something?

Raymondo, talk to Alfie.

You see this, you see this? This is me.

I'm just a piece of meat, you know?

I got no identity, I got no name, I got no nothing.

Join the club, mate. You get to my age, all you are is an eyesore.

No, no, no. Come on, Mo, man. This is way different.

You reckon? I used to be a person, but now I'm just an age.

Yeah, well, I'm a mugger. I'm a gangster,

I'm a drug dealer, I'm a rapist, I'm a terrorist.

I'm all bling with the blacked out windows, Mr gangsta lean with the gold teeth.

Hold on, what is going on here? What's happened?

-The filth was all over him.

-Stop and search. Stop and search for no reason,

-other than I'm black and wearing a hoody.

-And they made him strip.

-OK, just hear me out, OK?

Maybe you should complain then. Yeah?

Ray, come on...

-We got a steel band in here?

-Not now, eh, Kat? Just...

All right, then. I'll see you next week. Bye.

-Is that it? That's your best? Flowers?

-Yeah.

Women absolutely love 'em.

They love a whole load of other stuff as well.

Right. You tell me what them things are and I'll go out and get 'em.

Erm, respect. Go and fetch me some of that, yeah?

This isn't about you staying out, Max.

This is about the lack of respect that comes with it.

You know, the taking for granted.

You couldn't even be bothered to phone me.

So, where does that leave me on your list of priorities, eh?

Below the cat, that's where.

-Tan, we ain't got a cat.

-If we had a cat.

Right. So what d'you want me to do?

Tell me what to do and I'll go out, I'll go do it.

I dunno, you think of something.

Make me feel like number one again.

You off out?

Yeah. That's normally why someone walks through a door, Bill.

Yeah, it's me.

Look, I'm only doing this because you pay my wages, all right?

But he's just had a call and now he's on the move.

I don't know where.

Don't worry.

I know exactly where he's gone.

I can't be around my dad, I can't.

One minute I'm angry at him, the next minute, I'm worried about him.

He's driving me mad.

It's genetic, though. My dad does my head in all the time.

Listen, why don't you ask him to move out?

-That sounds like a plan, don't it, Al?

-Yeah.

A-ha! Kim thinks you're still out jogging.

I told her no-one jogs that long.

I'm just keeping myself to myself.

You all right? Ray?

When you look at me, what do you see?

-What?

-What do you see when you look at me?

Um... I see a hard-working,

confident, handsome guy.

-You don't see mugger, no?

-A mugger!?

Did you get stopped by the police?

-They stopped you?

-It's the way they stopped me.

I had this guy calling me "sonny", telling me, "Be a good boy."

This guy was treating me like I already did a crime.

I'm just a grown man that just happens to enjoy jogging.

What? You got his number, right?

Ray, you gotta go down the police station.

Make a complaint about him. How flaming dare he?

No point. The damage is already done.

-You can't let him get away with that.

-Well, he already has.

This man treated me like I was a villain.

And anyone who saw it, probably would've thought the same thing.

-Oh, so you're back then? Yeah? Didn't think to let me know.

-Kim, not now.

He ran off and left me. Whoosh.

Gone. Missing.

Yes. Just leave it, Kim. Ray's not had a good morning.

He hasn't had a good morning?

Let me tell you, I nearly died out there...

What?

Nice touch.

So, I've been told.

So, what's happened?

Dunno. It's all locked up and I can't find Janine or Michael.

But in truth you were looking for an excuse to call me, weren't ya?

-I understand.

-Any ideas?

-Just give me a sec.

You're good with your mouse.

That's weird.

What?

Looks like some dozy berk's tried to install spyware.

What's spyware? And don't say a tuxedo.

No. It's a secret way of monitoring the computer user.

But this ain't been installed properly. I'd say your bosses don't trust you much.

Me? But I'm such a good girl.

I bet you are.

You never did say how you ended up on that bench?

-Do you really want to know?

-I'm on the edge of my seat, babe.

Well, come to dinner with me and I'll tell you everything.

Look, it was just a couple of drinks with your uncles.

It's not about that.

-If it's about Fat Boy, I wasn't shouting at him. I was just...

-Or that.

It's about...

I just don't think it's working, us two living in the same house.

Oh, right...

Well, I'll go and stay with your Uncle Jack for a few days.

No, it's OK.

I'll move out.

Thanks for that, Luce.

What you doing here?

She's a bit young for you, isn't she, Michael?

You think? Oh, please. Me and him?

-What are you doing here?

-You first.

OK. Lucy, do you want to fill her in?

He's buying the flat.

Yeah. Of course he is.

It was meant to be a surprise. An investment. For Scarlett.

You're not buying a flat.

What did we talk about yesterday? What did we agree to?

Michael?

Oops!

BABY MOANS

-You do it then, Al? You tell him, yeah?

-Yeah.

So... He's moving out, then?

Not quite.

Right... OK. What, you're moving out, then?

I've got no choice.

This is good for you, Alice.

Gives you a chance to move on, get clean away an' all that.

Can I ask you a really big favour?

Um, OK?

Can I move in with you?

-There's only one word for that. Shocking.

-I mean, I'm a good man, I got a decent job, I pay my taxes.

-Shocking and disgusting.

-Actually, now, that's two words.

I thought I knew where I was at, like, I accepted and that.

-Shocking, disgusting and outrageous.

-Shh. Go on, Ray.

There's always someone that's going to put you in your place.

-Remind you who you are.

-Well, you see now, this...

-That ain't helping.

What?

You're just spouting these big words

and it's not exactly going to help, is it?

-If you allow me to speak...

-You're speaking, I've heard you.

-You're not allowing me to...

Ladies, ladies, it's fine. It's cool. It is what it is.

Look, I'm just going to retire from jogging, going to put my feet up

-and just going to turn to fat.

-Ray.

-You can't do that, can ya?

-What's that going to say to Morgan?

-Morgan?

-Exactly...

The same things are going to happen and he's going to look to you, his dad,

-and say, "What did you do? How did you deal with it?"

-See now, that is my point...

-You going to say I just laid back and gained 20 stone?

-KNOCKING

I need to speak.

-Ray.

-Yeah?

We're a couple.

Someone hurts you, they hurt me too.

I'm telling you I'm not feeling this roll over and give up stuff.

Kim, man, this hurt me bad, all right?

-I know.

-Look, I ain't no criminal.

Look, what happened today is going to happen tomorrow and the day after.

But what if it happens to Morgan and he knows how to deal with it

because of what you taught him?

And what if he tells his friends,

and then you can become another father figure to them. You know, even a mentor.

You could reach a of kids, you know.

If you teach that boy what it takes to be a man.

OK, OK. But how?

I mean, I like the idea, I think it's great, but how?

I dunno, you just... set up some kind of scheme?

I dunno how you go about it, but... d'you know what I mean?

Do you really think I could do this?

Well, I know I'm not going to be wasting my time with some lard man.

What's that Dolly Parton song? Umm... Stand By Your Man.

-Yeah.

-I'm going to stand by you.

-All right.

-I'll get the drinks in, yeah?

Well, I never thought I'd see it, let alone say it,

but my baby sister's growing up.

Look at you - back on your feet and almost back to your average self.

Thanks, I think.

I want my money. £1,500 with interest.

I don't have it.

So, go find it.

Tell you what, I'll knock the loan off the price of the flat.

But I'll tell Michael that

cos he's the one in charge of the money, right?

What did you just say to her?

No big deal.

Just putting her back in her pram.

Dad...

Hello, Angel.

I've found somewhere to move into already. Fat Boy's going to put me up.

Yeah, so don't all rush to thank me at once.

I'm just trying to be the best friend a person could, um, have.

So, how's your morning been, gentlemen?

As good as yours from the look of it.

-Max?

-Rotten. In the doghouse, ain't I.

And last night was so special.

Where'd you go in the end?

Went out with a few mates.

Which left the way open for me and Max here to go round to yours and drink your spirits dry.

Nice. While you mention it, key to the flat. Come on.

Oh, there' s a couple of burn holes in your sofa.

-What?

-That was me, sorry.

-Oh, nice. You'll pay for that.

-That why you scarpered last night?

-Didn't scarper. Just took a wander.

Then I stumbled home, didn't I?

Large scotch. No ice, no water, no chat.

-Problems?

-Women.

Hi, is there a Kat Moon here?

-What you got there?

-Well, they're for you.

-Oh, you shouldn't have!

-I didn't.

-Eh?

Not from me. This was pinned to it.

Let's have a look.

-BABY CRIES

-Your turn.

So, who they from then?

From me dad. Bless him.

-Your old man? Seriously?

-Yeah, sweet, ain't it, eh?

-That's lovely.

Nice flowers.

Someone must like you.

You must be doing something right, Kat.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd