24/09/2012 EastEnders

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm still here. Why?

-We getting a coffee?

-Er, not here - at the club.

Our coffee's rubbish.

We're going to start opening daytimes for coffees and meetings,

so it'll have to get better.

-Good idea.

-And I'm pitching

-a few ideas for Phil too.

-Right.

-Well, get on it, then.

-THEY LAUGH

What was so important that you couldn't call me over the phone?

I got a job.

-What do you mean, you got a job?

-Cleaning job.

It's a new client, so we got to go get all the kit and be there first thing Wednesday.

I don't want to clean.

-What else you going to do?

-Come on, it'll be fun.

How could it possibly be fun?

All right, fine. Suit yourself. We'll go on our own.

You are not going anywhere.

-How did you even hear that?

-Man, I hear everything.

Well, it ain't none of your business.

With Billy away, I am your responsible adult,

so it IS all my business.

Oh, and Trish's coming over, eh?

Well, if she can't get here on time, then I ain't waiting.

-Oh, I think you are, young lady.

-She ain't even called.

I don't care. You just don't let Social come to an empty house.

So, what we're going to do, we're going to sit down right here,

listen to some calypso music and play dominoes.

No, no, no, no, no, I can't listen to this music any more,

and I ain't playing them dominoes.

That's the most boring game in the world.

Let's get started, shall we?

-Told!

-Shut up.

-Told!

No, there's plenty here, Tam.

I'll see you in a bit.

I've only made a couple of appointments at the posh ones.

We are on a budget, you know. Sy, please, tell her.

-Will you figure it out, please?

-You've got no interest in the food at our wedding?

I've got a full restaurant and no toilet paper.

So, I'm going to focus on that.

You OK?

Yeah, great. Place is busier, so...

We're just looking.

-Morning.

-Hey, AJ.

If they're too expensive, we're just going onto the next one.

-We're not even tasting it.

-Good morning, Zainab.

It's nearly three!

Is it?! Must've slept straight through. Any tea?

Listen, you. We're going out for a couple of hours, all right?

I would appreciate it if you do not disrespect my home

any further in the meantime.

It's a sleep-in!

It's not like I'm sneaking girls upstairs and pumping Bobby Womack to drown out the sexy noises.

Don't mock me. You're a guest in this house.

-Sexy noises...

-AJ!

-We are not having cheap food.

-You're not paying the bill.

-Christian, I am not having cheap food.

-Oh, Mum!

Sexy noises!

How many barrels of lager we got in the barrel store?

Erm, I don't know. Six or seven?

Or 12 or 14?

Well, maybe. What does it look like?

A tip. FATS LAUGHS

Yeah, not great down there, man.

So we could be running out of lager and not even know it.

-You don't think that's a problem for a pub?

-Well, I guess it is.

That's your job for the day.

Excusez-moi?

I want it immaculate.

Count the bottles, stack the barrels and get the empties ready to go.

Stack the...? Do you know how heavy them things are?

-Going to have to work hard, then!

-Alfie normally does that by himself.

Health and safety and all that.

Alfie has done a runner, so you're stuck with moi.

PHIL CLEARS HIS THROAT

Right, so, I've given the machine a good clean

-and got a few coffee suppliers coming round with samples a bit later on.

-Right.

And I got a shift at a cafe on Broadway Market Tuesday morning.

-Really?

-Yeah. Well, one of my mates works there,

and according to him, he makes the best coffee in London.

So he said he'd give me a few tips.

-You have been busy.

-No point mucking around, is there?

I was also thinking, right - hear me out here -

a youth disco on in the day.

Be the same as the evening, obviously,

except we don't need a liquor licence.

-You all right?

-Hey.

-Joey.

-All right, mate.

-You got a minute?

-Yeah, yeah, sure.

Go on.

Keep thinking.

Pop-up cinema, all right? Think about it.

Good idea.

SHARON LAUGHS

So, what can I do for you?

I'm going to take you out tonight.

-Are you now?

-Nice dinner, bottle of wine.

And then?

And then...we're going to read Amy a bedtime story

and we're clean her dinner off the walls.

Sexy, huh?

Yeah, it's a two-for-one offer at the minute, unfortunately.

-Bring Dennis, if you like - we'll talk dowry.

-Family time, huh?

-Yeah, if you like.

-I'm not sure we're quite there yet, Jack.

-Thought you were the one who said don't go too slowly.

-Yeah, I was.

-All right, but a little family thing too much, is it?

-Maybe.

-Thought you said you wanted too much.

-I will do, in time.

All right, offer's always there.

Oh, I know it is.

-I bet you do.

-Hmm.

-See ya.

-See ya!

Right, so I reckon we want to show a proper cult film, yeah? Right?

Few beanbags, and bits and bobs around the place.

-Charge about 20 quid a head.

-It's genius, Joey.

-So what if she doesn't show up at all?

-This one?

Oh, too fruity!

Are we just supposed to sit here all day?

Well, according to my babysitter, we are, yeah.

-Patrick?

-Hmm?

-I need to get some cleaning gear for my new job.

-No problem.

Oh, we can just borrow some of my mum's.

Or...we could get some ourself.

Set this little operation up properly.

You know what I'm saying?

No. I do not want to get involved in that.

Come on, Scabs. Don't be such a nerd.

Well, I'm happy to help with the actual cleaning,

but I'd just rather not break the law.

Yeah, but it's all right to take it... I asked Michael.

Really?

-Mmm, this one?

-Ugh!

-What's wrong with that?

-Smells like a bloke.

DOORBELL RINGS

Oh, finally!

Best behaviour.

A fiver says she don't say sorry for being late.

-Trish!

-Hi, Patrick, is Lola in?

She is, come right through.

-Hi, Lola.

-All right?

Have a seat.

How are you?

Good.

Can I get you a cup of tea?

I'm fine, thanks.

So, you coping OK?

Yep.

-Bills paid?

-I'm nicking electric from upstairs!

Yes, the bills are paid.

Where's Lexi?

She's right through here.

-How is she?

-She cries a lot.

She cries when she's hungry. That's it, she cries then,

but most of the time, she's as good as gold.

Her foot seems OK.

I suppose we're lucky she's not allergic to paint.

Plenty of cuddles?

She's my daughter - if I had it my way, I wouldn't stop cuddling her.

-She might need changing.

-No, I've checked.

Perhaps not closely enough.

I'll just have a look around while you take care of that.

Make sure things are clean. Nappy, Lola - not a tea towel.

Tea towel!

Come on.

You owe me a fiver.

See you, gents. Cheers, Tony.

I'll give you a bell about those tiffin boxes, yeah?

-We haven't been this full in a while.

-Advertising's working.

-We're advertising?

-Yeah.

Quarter pages in the Gazette, the Advertiser...

How did we go?

You were here, we were pretty busy.

-I mean the figures. How did we do?

-I haven't done the takings yet, but we're on track.

Apparently, we're registered for weddings. Came this morning.

-Weddings?

-Yeah.

Afia must have done it. I don't have a clue.

You'd think I didn't work here.

Why on earth would we want to host weddings?

It's a great way to show off the food.

I might have a word with Christian about this.

-I saw the tiffin boxes.

-What tiffin boxes?

We're going to make deliveries to offices.

Prepare the food here, then take it warm to people's desks.

In tiffin boxes?!

-Yeah.

-Like in India?

-Mumbai, yeah.

-We're a Pakistani restaurant.

-Like they care. The tiffin boxes are distinctive, authentic.

-To India!

That's just a detail, Dad.

You're going to give up thousands of pounds of business over a detail?

-It's a very important one!

-That's why Tam's running the business.

Cos he's got an eye to the future.

Right. Well, OK.

I'm very proud of you for working together.

-So if you won't be needing me, I'll...

-Yeah, well, cheers, Dad.

Bye.

Can we go over the till first? Lock down the numbers?

Christian Clarke, this is your best friend, Roxanne Mitchell.

It is...

It is quarter to and you're not here. Where are you?

Can you call me, please? Thank you.

He's stood you up. He's looking at caterers with Zainab.

They've got appointments the whole afternoon.

No, we're supposed to be talking stags. Amy's with her dad.

I've been trying to get 20 minutes with Syed the whole weekend.

Unbelievable.

It's like they don't want to be taken out and embarrassed!

It is like that, isn't it?

Gays these days.

They're not as gay

-as they used to be!

-THEY LAUGH

Shame to waste a babysitter. You fancy a...?

Yes, I do.

-Do ya?

-Mmm.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-OK!

-THEY LAUGH

-What, anything?

-Yes, Abi!

How is it her business how clean your bathroom is?

They don't even trust you to feed her.

Abi, will you just give it a rest?

It's just unfair. I mean, she's late, doesn't apologise,

then asks you all those horrible questions.

It ain't right...

Hello?

Hide, hide!

-I thought Michael said this was OK.

-I lied. Hide!

Hello?

Lola?

Oh, Patrick, shame on you for even thinking th...

HE SNIFFS

Well, you're here now, you might as well grab a couple of mops.

Syed, there's a stub missing.

-What?

-Look. There's 402 -

that was 84 quid for a phone bill on the 20th, that was Thursday,

and then 404, which was 60 quid for a window repair on the 22nd.

So where's 403?

Look, I'll sort it.

It's a missing cheque. Signatures can be forged easily.

-Someone could be clearing us out right now.

-Tam...

-When Mum finds out, she's going to go mental.

-She's not going to!

I'll ring the bank.

Just let me finish this and I'll call 'em, OK?

-OK?

-OK.

OK.

Oi! Bin it.

Everything all right, Cora?

Of course.

Good.

-You done?

-Are you joking? I've only moved, like, three barrels.

-What are you doing with this lot?

-Putting it in the hallway for ten minutes

-while I shuffle round the rest of that stuff.

-How we off for lager?

-Erm, two, I think.

-What?

-Two, that's all I could find. I thought there was going to be more.

Well, when you've done that, get onto the brewery.

-What, like next month? There's a lot to do in there.

-You'll manage.

Alfie never used to abuse us like this.

Well, Alfie couldn't run a business to save his life.

Now, come on, off you go, off you go. Chop, chop! Look lively.

Phil. Sorry, mate, a quick word?

Look, I don't know if you've heard,

but I put in for some funding for a community-outreach scheme.

Yeah, I'm doing it through the gym.

I want to give the kids around here more options.

Tell them to keep their noses clean, stay out of gangs, they'll be all right.

OK, well, anyway...I've got a meeting next week, Monday,

to discuss about funding...

which means I won't be able to do the afternoon shift.

Sorry to drop it on you like that.

-It's fine.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Nice one, Phil. Cheers.

Ray, by the way, I'm going to have to cut your wages by 20%,

-starting next pay packet.

-Come on, man, you can't do that.

Ain't got any choice, I ain't got any money.

Free to go if you want.

I mean, there's plenty of people out there can do pie and chips.

Ain't rocket science, is it?

It's just sitting there, not being used.

It ain't like they're going to miss it.

That is not the point, young lady.

You love a point, don't you?

You're putting your future at risk, you know, and Lexi's.

All right, just calm down.

Listen to me, man. Small crimes like this leads to bigger things.

-It is a mop and bucket.

-I saw it with my own son, Paul.

This is how it starts, man.

Using things that were going to be chucked away, yeah?

Ain't that what you're supposed to do? Recycle?

To look after the world and the environment

for our children and little Lexi.

All right, all right, all right.

He's such an old woman.

How much?

Thank you.

Have they got it?

It's only a few quid. 43.50.

Who was it made out to?

Cash.

But what for?

Cos the window guy came on Saturday morning.

So this must've been made out on Friday.

Well, I definitely didn't write any cheques on Friday...

So it was me?

I had a zillion things going on around the place on Friday.

So if I did make it out...

But then why wouldn't I keep the stub?

Probably a bill.

Meat, rice...

I mean, I could have a ring round and figure out where it went?

I don't even remember. I just gave it away.

It's fine, everyone makes mistakes. You've been working really hard.

Maybe you should take some time off.

What?

You know, get away from the stress of here.

Give yourself a chance to focus on the bigger picture,

let me take care of the day-to-day stuff.

-What, you'd do that for me?

-Yeah, course I would.

What about Mum?

She doesn't need to know, does she? Look, Tam, it's your restaurant.

You can run it how you like.

Show me again, show me again! Higher! Come on, man!

Wait a minute, let me try, let me try.

No wait, no wait.

-Give it more attitude, man.

-How you get the click back? I can't get the click...

You know what? I'll practise - by next week, I'll have it.

-I'll believe that when I see it!

-THEY LAUGH

So, can I get £12.60, please?

Oh, sorry, I'm kind of short.

I'll fix you up tomorrow, all right?

Oh, Patrick, man, we're not supposed to.

It's just one round.

Yeah, I know, but these are Phil's rules, you know?

Look, I'm getting my pension tomorrow,

I'll come straight here and give it to you.

-Patrick, man, I'm sorry...

-Look, look, son,

I respect your decision, I do,

but don't make a fool of me now, man.

I told the girls I'd buy them a drink.

If I turn round now and say I can't pay for it,

-they'll lose all respect for me.

-That's fine, Patrick.

-Really?!

He's been coming in here for years,

I don't think he's about to go anywhere, do you?

Thanks, Phil. Thanks.

Erm, I thought we didn't do tabs?

Well, we look after our regulars, don't we?

-Now, shouldn't you be in there?

-Yeah, yeah, of course!

You need to clean up your garage doors.

You what?

Ain't you seen 'em?

-Chubby boy!

-Yep?

Keep an eye on this place, will ya?

Chubby b...?

Mmm! Mmm!

AJ BURPS

-Did you just burp?

-Yep!

-THEY LAUGH

OK, listen. So we had one in Ibiza, right?

There was a group of lads from, er...Hull.

-Oh!

-I know.

Anyway, they were like, 2am, they were on it, OK?

-And the stripper hasn't turned up.

-Why not?

Because it's Ibiza,

and the stripper turns up, the stripper doesn't turn up,

it's all the same to her. Whatever.

But these blokes, right, are getting lai-ry...

..and they've dropped, like, 500 quid each on a weekend to Ibiza

and they want their traditional stag-night entertainment.

God, so what did you do?

-I gave it to 'em!

-SHE LAUGHS

What? You?

They were going to go into town. They were going to leave.

No, no, it's a sound business decision.

-You know, if you've got it...

-BOTH: Flaunt it!

THEY LAUGH

So, you give 'em any...specials?

-Bit of this, bit of that.

-Oh, yeah, any of the other?

Yes, for my big finish...!

No, come on, shut up!

Cheers.

-No burping.

-Mmm-mmm!

SHE BURPS

THEY LAUGH

So, what do you reckon?

Oh!

SHE LAUGHS

What?

-(It's a secret.)

-Oh.

Closer!

I have got a bottle of rum back at mine that you would not believe.

Interesting.

It's from Guadeloupe.

Ooh, Guadeloupe!

THEY LAUGH

Well, let's go, then.

-Oh!

-SHE LAUGHS

Say it again.

-Guadeloupe!

-It's fun to say, isn't it?

-Guadeloupe!

-Guadeloupe.

Oi!

Phil, you got time for a chat?

Yeah, let's go upstairs.

Is there nowhere else?

-We've seen this one a couple of times.

-Yeah, I know...

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Of course, you all know Roxy.

Roxanne Mitchell, I present to you family Masood. May I?

-Roxanne, please, make yourself at home.

-Er, hello?

So, how's everyone's day been?

If you don't mind, we're trying to watch something here.

Of course, of course. Mustn't distract you...

-Is that Antiques Roadshow?

-Uh-huh.

It's an institution.

Oh, God bless Fiona Bruce and her sexy boots!

-OK, all right, Veeru, let's wrap it up.

-Certainly.

Roxanne, let me see you out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.

CHRISTIAN MOUTHS

-Night, Roxy.

-Night.

Right, off we go.

ROXY LAUGHS

AJ!

Sorry!

-Goodnight, Roxy.

-Goodnight!

Not changed much, has it?

Well?

Oh, right.

We're going to open in the day as a cafe,

and then we're looking at running a youth disco.

Same as the club, but we don't need to extend the liquor licence.

-Why don't you come back here?

-What?

Come back here. Manage this place for me.

-Forget the R&R - live upstairs, whatever you like.

-Phil!

What's a club, eh? It's just a place for kids to have a skinful.

-This place, it's in your blood.

-I'm not interested.

-Yes, you are.

-No, I'm not!

Look, it's great you're back running things, but this is not for me, I...

I can't be here.

The only reason you're running the R&R - that's down to me, ain't it?

-Yeah, and I'm grateful.

-And this is how you show it, is it?

You're no great shakes as a manager.

I can easily get someone else to run it, give you the boot.

Don't you threaten me!

You don't want me working for you, fine.

-At least have the bottle to sack me.

-You always were a snob, I forgot that.

-I think I'd better go.

-Sharon, wait...

Get your hands off me!

Don't you do that again, OK?

Sharon.

He could go down for murder.

Ben, he pleaded guilty to manslaughter,

but they're going for murder, and the trial date's been set.

That's a good thing, though, isn't it?

I don't know what's going on, what he's doing.

He could end up going down for longer. Much longer.

And this place...

..how'd you ever put it behind you, eh?

Who says I have?

(Stay.)

Sorry. You're on your own.

You all right? Want a drink?

-Yeah, go on then.

-Patrick, can you get Jay a drink, please?

Just the usual, mate, please.

-I thought you were going home?

-Not till eight, got ages yet.

Did you get your cleaning stuff?

-It's not funny.

-Sorry, sorry. It is a little bit funny.

What's up with you two?

You don't want to know.

Is that another one on tick, is it?

First thing tomorrow, I promise you.

Don't take the mick.

-Of course not.

-Oi!

-Get it off.

-What?

Get it off!

-I don't know what you're talking about.

-Get it off!

All right!

Think you can treat this place like a dump? Show some respect!

-All right, leave it out.

-You what?

-She's done what you've asked.

-Have a look.

-What, you part of this gang now, are you?

-Just trying to have a drink.

You dump one family and hook up with whichever one'll take you,

-is that how it works?

-Come on, Phil.

-Yeah, well, get out.

-What?

-Out!

-What for?

Cos I said so, that's what for. You're barred, out!

You've lost it, mate.

Anyone else got a problem with that?

Eh? Cos this is my pub, yeah?

My pub.

ROXY AND AJ LAUGH

-OK, that is it!

-No, no, no.

Just because we've given him his own room, Masood,

-does not mean he can bring that depravity into this house.

-They're just having fun.

Well, that's about to stop.

I wouldn't go in there if I was you. Anything you see, you can't...

..un-see. You know what I mean.

He's right.

We'll speak to him in the morning.

TELEVISION VOLUME INCREASES

Got a flat of my own now, seeing my kids regularly,

so it's working out OK.

Haven't touched a thing in six months.

-That's it.

-Thanks, mate.

Right, would anyone else like to come up?

Hi, everyone.

My name's Sharon...

..and I'm an addict.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd