01/10/2012 EastEnders

-Oh, very nice!

-Yeah, it'll do, won't it?

Phil Mitchell Interiors.

Got a nice ring to it, innit?

Nah, it's all thanks to you.

I think I'll stick to motors and pubs.

Probably should.

-So, what now?

-What do you mean?

-Well, now you've got this place sorted.

-Well, it's a fresh start tonight, ain't it?

I'm back in business, I want everyone to know about it.

You might need to give people a bit of time to get used to that, Phil.

No, no! I've got a load of extra booze in, it goes tonight.

Just don't try and run before you can walk.

-You'll be there, won't you?

-Of course.

Oh, go on.

When was the last time we really enjoyed ourselves going out, eh? Just you and me?

Babe, it's just time, innit?

Things are still a bit tricky over the car lot.

-So you keep telling me.

-I'm working a lot of hours, ain't I?

If it was important to you, you'd make time.

Babe, it is important.

It's just words. It means nothing.

I'll tell you what, leave it to me

-and I'll sort something out for tonight.

-Will you?

-Yes. Promise.

Better get back. See you later.

-Get a proper grips on it, Fats.

-I'm trying, brother. Go on, man.

That's all I need, a barman with a broken foot.

Sorry, Phil.

What you got in there, Phil?

-Come in later, you'll find out.

-Can't tonight. I'm busy.

-Busy doing what?

-Taking Tanya out.

Bring her in here. Got a big night on and a load of booze to shift.

No offence, I think she's expecting somewhere a bit more, you know.

Well, I would've thought a man in your position

would want to support his local boozer.

If you know what I mean.

Whoa! What's happened? Has there been a tsunami?

It's called "relaxed parenting."

How are you? What can I do for you?

I was just dropping Amy at nursery,

-so I thought I'd come and see if you're OK.

-I'm fine.

You sure? Because last week you kind of freaked me out a bit.

Yeah, yeah. Your concern's touching, Rox, but it's unnecessary.

We're good now.

On a nice routine.

She's just a good girl, aren't you?

-Good girl.

-OK.

-Running like clockwork.

-Good.

But since you're here, you couldn't look after her for a couple of hours?

I need to dive out and meet that investor from last week.

He's got some money for me.

Oh, nice one! I thought you'd properly blown that.

-But no, sorry, I can't help you.

-Why?

-Cos I've got a shift at the Vic.

Ah!

Why don't I come round later and help you tidy this lot up, yeah?

Nah, not necessary, all under control.

But I do need to make alternative arrangements, so...

-OK. All right.

-Thanks for coming by.

-I couldn't exactly say no to Phil, could I?

-Why not?

Well, I just couldn't. Anyway, it'll be all right.

Tanya's been on to me about doing something together.

A night out, keep her sweet, won't it?

-What, the Vic?

-Uh-huh.

-You certainly know how to treat a lady, don't you?

-Don't start.

-He's been on a right mission about tonight.

-He was on to Sharon about it, and all.

-You two going, and all, yeah?

-Sounds like it.

-Going where?

-Oh, nowhere.

-Didn't sound like nowhere to me.

Phil's got a big night at the Vic tonight.

-Lovely. What time?

-It's more of a couples' thing, Del.

-There's me thinking you'd want your big brother along.

-Yeah, course, but you know.

With me looking after your interests.

-What you on about now?

-You've not got a bird to bring, have you?

I'll come on my own. Spend some time with the family.

You must know someone to go with him, do you?

If I wanted to bring a bird, which I don't,

-I'd find one myself. Judging by his latest squeeze, I'd be better off, and all.

-Oi, shut your mouth, Derek.

Phil Mitchell's cast-offs! You should be ashamed of yourself.

-I won't say it again.

-We'll say seven o'clock, shall we?

I look forward to it.

What's he on about?

Protecting your interests?

Tanya, it's going to do her nut.

I've got a load of booze out there and it's taking up space.

We are going to have a load of people in here tonight.

-What?

-Phil, it's lunchtime now and it's dead.

What's going to be so different tonight?

You know what? Maybe, all right, I could do some PR work.

You know, like in Ibiza. Getting the crowds in, and that.

-Don't worry. I'll take care of all that.

-Sure?

-Why wouldn't I be?

Listen, Phil. I might as well go home early.

-I've got to meet those funders in the gym this afternoon.

-You stay here until I say otherwise.

Fair enough.

Oi. If you want this thing to work tonight,

you might want to try being a little bit nicer to people, yeah?

All right? I need a favour.

Er, OK.

-Whitney's away.

-I know that.

And I've got a really important meeting.

No. No way. I can't.

Please? Only for a couple of hours.

-No. I'm meant to be going out.

-Where?

No, I am not staying cooped up in here all day

with somebody else's kid.

40 sheets, Lauren.

Excellent. Keys. Take her out somewhere nice.

Get yourself something nice.

And just bring her back to my place, yeah?

Thank you.

He's got a flaming cheek, talking about Sharon like that.

Jack, can you just ignore him? You know what he's like.

Can you sort him out a date, or not?

Don't tell me you threw out your little black book.

Max, people use their phones for that nowadays.

Anyway, he doesn't want a date, does he?

Well, if he's coming tonight, he's going to need one.

Tell you, Tanya's going to be in a right hump

if he's sat there playing gooseberry.

Actually, yeah. Come to think of it, I do know someone.

Yeah? She better be a sort. I don't need Derek sat there in a mood all night.

She's a stunner, this one.

-She only started coughing yesterday.

-Has she seen a doctor?

-I called, but I couldn't get an appointment.

Did you tell them it was for Lexi?

No. I just said, can I have an appointment and they said they were full.

Look, I know what she's like. It's just a little cough.

Didn't think it was a big deal.

What's that smell? Is it bleach?

Bleach? Oh, that! Yeah.

You can never keep the place too clean when you got a baby. That's what I always say.

-Hello, girls.

-Pops! You're back!

-All right?

I just came to collect my things.

I guess you won't be needing me anymore.

-Cheers, Patrick.

-That's all right.

So, everything all right?

For now, anyway. I'm just leaving.

Sorry I missed you. But I'm back now.

So if there's anything that you need to...

I'm sure I'll see you soon enough.

OK.

-Bye.

-Bye.

All right?

Yeah. How were the kids?

Brilliant. Knackered me out, though.

Mind you, I don't look as tired as you do.

Oh, thanks. You know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?

Actually, I've been grafting while you've been away. Lot of cleaning jobs.

Check me pocket. All that cash.

In hand?

-I was going to declare it, but I just ain't had time.

-Got any work lined up today?

Nah. Abi and Jay are going to come round.

-Why don't you go out and meet them somewhere? I can have her.

-Really?

Yeah, yeah. Give yourself a day off.

Go and have some fun with your mates. Come on.

-Come here, darling, here we go.

-Too right, I will. Walford won't know what's hit it, will they?

Thank you.

Hello, my darling.

There you are. You got any party stuff over at the Minute Mart?

-Bunting and that sort of thing?

-What's the occasion?

Got a big night on at the Vic. I want the place to look nice.

You never struck me as the bunting type.

First time for everything, ain't there? What about you?

What about me?

Fancy a few drinks in the Vic tonight? First one on the house.

-Afraid not. I've got a family to look after.

-Fair enough.

I'll be over in a bit for that bunting, yeah?

Hopefully you can make it tonight, yeah?

Hm?

Wow. Someone's had a personality transplant.

Ah, now that's what I'm taking about.

Suited and booted for a high-powered meeting like this. Yes.

I felt better in the jeans, though. You sure this is all right?

Listen, this is more than all right.

It is off the hook, off the scale, off the hanger.

Babe, we're talking about Sport England, all right?

I need them to say yes.

Listen, they're going to say yes to anything you say,

dressed in this suit.

Who's going to say no to the black James Bond?

-I'm not sure if this is me.

-Nah, man, this is you.

Trust me.

If this goes wrong, you know...

Oh!

-Yeah, and...?

-Are you sure you're going to be all right?

I said so, didn't I? Go on, then.

-What you waiting for?

-Will you call me if her cough gets worse?

-Of course I will.

-Promise?

-I promise.

-Well, go on, then. What you waiting for?

-All right. Love you. See you.

Love you. Ta-da.

-Babe, you got a minute?

-Yeah.

-It's just about tonight.

Don't tell me. Something's come up.

-No, no, we're all set.

-Are we?

-Where we going?

-Well, I thought we'd stay local - couple of drinks in the Vic.

The... Seriously? Oh, great(!)

Well, bit of luck, it'll be even better than the last time we were in there.

No, Phil's got some big night on.

Why not go the whole hog, eh?

We'll have a candlelit dinner in McKlunky's.

Babe, don't be like that.

I think Jack and Sharon are going to be over there, as well.

-It gets better.

-Babe, it'll be a laugh. Family night out.

All right. I suppose so.

-There's one last thing.

-Mm?

-We were talking, and Derek came in, he overheard us...

-No! No way.

Jack and Sharon, fair enough. But I'm not having a night out with Derek.

Just relax, will you? It'll be fine. Jack's lining up a bird for him. He'll be distracted. It'll be fine.

I've got a job for you.

What's that?

Stick these up all over the Square.

Not entirely sure that's in my job description, mate.

Just do it. And you can have the night off, and all.

I don't think my bank balance likes the sound of that.

You'll get paid.

As long as you spread the word and make sure you're in the Vic tonight. Yeah?

Don't you think you should be asking me that first?

-I want to make sure it's busy in the Vic tonight.

-Phil.

-Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.

Talk about desperate, eh?

Beg your pardon?

Him and his poxy night at the Vic tonight.

He owns this place and you work here.

You'd do well to remember that, Joey.

Shouldn't you be out there putting them up?

Thank you.

-Kettle's boiled.

-Cheers.

Del, about earlier...

Yeah. Your lack of loyalty did surprise me somewhat.

Well, you're coming now, aren't you?

And Jack's going to line up a bird for you.

What?

It's a couples' thing, Del. I told you, didn't I?

Didn't think our family did couples' nights.

Well, we are tonight.

Just, Tanya... I just want to keep her happy.

To be honest, I just wish it was over and done with.

Well, if I wanted to take a bird, I'd have found one myself.

Fair enough.

Apparently, Jack's lined up a right stunner for you.

Yeah?

She does the cutest little thing with her mouth when she's sleeping.

Like this, like...

-Aw, that's so gorgeous.

-And when she first wakes up,

it's like she don't quite know where she is.

I get that sometimes.

And then she sees me, and it's like, her eyes just light up.

And she don't look at anyone else like that. Just me. Not even Pops.

What?

Change the record, will you?

You've wanted a day off for weeks.

Why don't you just enjoy your freedom?

As much as you can.

This bad boy comes off Friday.

So, what do you want to talk about, then?

Something less boring, like cars? Or maybe some boxing?

Talking about babies is fine, for the first few hours.

Oi.

My mum reckons men aren't like women.

I always said that woman was a genius.

When it comes to babies, I mean.

-Jay loves Lexi really, don't you?

-Yeah, course I do.

Yeah, she reckons men only really get close to kids

when they're older.

-Like when they can talk and that.

-Yeah. Some don't even do that.

-Can I help you?

-All right? I'm Chantelle. Is he with you?

Well, it looks like it, yeah.

You know what I mean.

-What's it got to do with you?

-My mate reckons you're fit.

Well, I reckon you should tell your mate he's got higher standards.

Who could blame her?

Have you sorted it out yet?

-Yeah, I said I would, didn't I?

-Are you sure she's all right?

Yes, she'll be fine. Trust me.

What you doing here?

What you talking about? It's my office, as well.

Lauren said you had a meeting up town.

-Oh, I'm just getting some paperwork.

-Why didn't you mention it?

It's that geezer from last week. Thought it'd be a nice surprise.

Hm.

What's all that lot about out there?

Oh, they're funders for the thing Ray's setting up.

-Yeah, people can't stop throwing money at us these days.

-Cheers.

-Nice one, mate.

-I'm going to go.

-Yeah, well, good luck.

Cheers. See you later.

See you later.

I never understood how you ended up in business with him.

He's all right.

He just needs a bit of help at the moment.

He does. He needs help, all right.

OK, so the plan is to get the kids in here,

then we'll boost their fitness and their confidence, at the same time.

And what made you want to set up a scheme like this?

You see, I was a PT Instructor in the army.

So, I know the value of discipline and hard work.

I want to pass that knowledge on.

With all due respect, I'm sure there are a lot of ex soldiers out there

who know all about discipline and hard work.

What makes you so different?

Ah... Mr... Do you mind if I call you Keith?

OK. You know what, a few weeks ago,

I was reminded of what it feels like to be judged.

You know, to feel completely powerless.

The kids that I want to bring in here,

I mean, these kids go through this every single day of their lives.

I just want to help them get some self respect.

Shut up!

You know what? I'm going to go find out what's so funny.

Just leave it, they're not worth the ag.

Maybe we should just go.

-Yeah, you're right. Cos Jay looks a little bit scared.

-I don't.

We won't let 'em hurt him. Will we?

No. You're right.

Maybe we should go. Today's about fun. And this ain't it, is it? Yeah?

Do you know what I reckon?

I reckon Jay should buy us a drink for saving him from them big nasty girls.

I'd love to, ladies, but I'm skint, I'm afraid.

I'm sure I can stretch to a couple of teas, now I'm a successful businesswoman, an' all that.

Oi-oi, fitty.

I can ask my dad to give you a job.

I'm sure he'll be able to find you some work.

Yeah, good luck with that.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, let's just go.

How many people you reckon will come?

That's the problem with parties, you know -

knowing who's going to turn up.

Hey, maybe I can get the decs in.

Play some big tunes, get this place bubbling, you know.

And you know what would be a good idea?

If we done a little VIP area over here.

You know, just for friends and family.

Can you button it for two minutes?

Hey?

Sorry.

Is Derek really that bad?

Yeah. Just be careful with him. Yeah, he's a nasty piece of work.

I've handled worse before.

He gives me the creeps, you know?

No chance of completing the Branning set?

Oh, God, no!

Suppose you can't choose your families, eh?

You can choose your in-laws, though. But I didn't give it enough thought.

And if you had?

I probably would've done the same. Might have thought about emigrating to Australia.

You trying to warn me off the Branning clan or something?

No, of course not. Jack's a lovely bloke.

-Your loyalty's touching, Tanya.

-Anyway, Jack's lined up a date for Derek,

so, a bit of luck, he'll be too busy to bother with us, won't he?

Better hope she's got her wine goggles on.

Jack's bringing a girl, is he?

For Derek, obviously.

Yeah.

MUSIC: You Lucky People You by Frank Sinatra

# Then here's the green velvet landscape and to prove I'm no rogue

# I'll add a smart looking rainbow like you see pictured in Vogue

# I've a wonderful buy in a wrap-around sky of moonlight blue

# And it's yours for a love song You lucky people you. #

MUSIC: Everybody Changes by Keane

-Are you waiting for somebody?

-No.

Can I get you anything else?

No, I'm fine. Thanks.

# ..And remember my name

# But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same. #

People are out for a good time tonight.

-I want smiles and fun.

-Phil, it's not Club 18-30.

I never said it was! People still want to have a good time, don't they?

-You all right, mate?

-All right, bruv?

Where's Derek?

I don't know. He said he'd be here, didn't he?

Max, this is Lisa. Lisa, this is Max.

Lovely to meet you.

-My other brother.

-Yeah, likewise.

Oh, that's my wife, Tanya. Tanya, Lisa.

Hi.

And that's Sharon.

Nice to meet you.

Right. Anyone for a drink?

Hm.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Hey. How did it go?

-You know what, I shouldn't have listened to you. It was a disaster.

-Really?

I couldn't relax in that suit.

I've just blown the whole thing, man.

-Funny, that!

-Funny how?

-You know you left your phone at my place?

-Yeah?

-Well, the guy just called.

-What, you answered my phone?

Relax, will you?

He said you should call him tomorrow.

Sounds quite promising.

He seems to think that the hoodies would relate to you, or something.

Wow!

You do realise that I need someone to relate to?

Yeah?

Preferably somebody in a nice suit on the other side

of a nice posh dinner table.

-I'm sure I can help you with that.

-Oh, really?

CRASHING

Sorry about that, but some of us have got work to do.

Here he is.

How do you do?

My name is Derek Branning.

Very pleased to meet you.

Hi.

You said a couple of hours.

I know, I know, I know, it just went on and on.

But it went like a dream. It was beautiful, start to finish.

This guy's a serious operator. Think I clinched it.

Well, you can give me an extra 20 quid, then, can't you?

OK, OK, fair enough.

Thank you.

This one's delighted to see her daddy back.

-I bet she is.

-See you later.

-See you.

-There you go.

-Cheers.

-Ta.

I'm glad we came, now. The entertainment's been first class so far.

Ray, mate.

What's going on? We ordered food ages ago.

-Come on, you can see how busy it is.

-You tell my stomach that, will you?

Just take it easy. I promise I'll be with you soon as I can.

How long's that going to be?

-Sorry about the delay. The food'll be right with you, won't it?

-Yeah.

Just something we need to do. And he'll have you sorted.

So, you've known Jack for a while, then?

A little while, yeah.

You haven't known him as long as I have.

I could tell you a story or two.

You can spill the beans when I get back from the little girls' room.

I certainly will.

-The little girls' room?

-That's what I thought!

Oi. You think that's funny, do you?

-Don't have a go at me, mate. He's the one that brought her.

-You're laughing at her!

-It was an accident.

-Don't you think I don't know what's going on either.

She's gorgeous, all right? Lighten up, will you?

-I think you make a lovely couple.

-When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it.

If I've got an opinion, I'll give you it, all right?

-Derek, Derek, calm down, mate.

-And you keep your advice to yourself, an' all.

-It's hardly Sharon's fault, is it?

-Just leave it. It's fine.

INCOMPREHENSIBLE BANTER

Can I have a bit of hush, please?

Can I have a bit of hush, please, everyone? Thanks.

The reason I've called you all here together tonight

was to put something back in its proper place.

So, here goes...

Hey!

LIGHT APPLAUSE

There's a free drink behind the bar for everyone.

LOUD APPLAUSE

Someone's pushing the boat out, ain't they?

-It's a tiny little boat, innit?

-Hm.

Like a canoe or something.

See you, I reckon you're getting too big for your boots, you.

-Oh, yeah? I reckon you're taking yourself a little bit too seriously.

-Oh, is that what you reckon, is it?

It's all right.

-I think it's about time someone taught you a lesson.

-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah.

-You reckon you're capable?

-You know I'm capable.

Pack it in. Both of you.

APPLAUSE

-You OK?

-Yeah, why?

Just you're a whole 41 minutes early for your curfew.

Ha-ha-ha! You're so funny. How's she been?

She's been an absolute angel. Ain't you, eh?

Yes. How was your day?

Do you know what? I think freedom's a bit over-rated.

Isn't it?

Yes. It's your mum back!

Has your mum come to see you? Has your mum come to see you?

-Listen, I'm going to call her a cab, yeah?

-OK.

You all right?

-Yeah, yeah. Fine.

-You done well, getting it so busy tonight. Peggy would have been proud.

That was good, you know.

The way you had us thinking that the surprise was that old thing

when you wanted everybody together to welcome back Kat and Alfie.

Phil, I like your style, brother.

Oh, man!

Maybe a Branning triple date was a little bit ambitious.

Yeah, maybe.

Funny, though, weren't it?

Well, still got time for dinner in McKlunky's, if you fancy it!

It is so good to have you home, brother.

-It's great to be back, Fats. Thanks, mate.

-Where's Jean?

Jean's at Wendy's. Don't worry about Jean. Tell me about fiesta time.

We had a wonderful time. Just what the doctor ordered. But now it's time for action.

Good, time to get this party started. Let's do this.

Phil, I just wanted to say, well, me and Kat want to say,

that we're genuinely sorry about leaving you in the lurch.

Well, as I was about to say before all the interruptions...

I'm back in charge of the Vic. For good.

Kat and Alfie - they don't work here any more.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd