27/12/2012 EastEnders

SHE SCREAMS

HE SCREAMS

-Leave her alone!

-Hey!

Get your hands off her! Get your hands off!

Call the police!

-Call the...

-AJ?!

-I knew I should have used the chimney.

-You...

-AJ!

-Ow! Morning!

Yes, hello,

I was trying to tell your colleague

I need to cancel my honeymoon because of...

unforeseen circumstances.

Yep. It leaves today, to the Canary Islands.

What?

He did what?

RADIO PLAYS

Morning.

Do you want some breakfast?

Uh, no. I'm going to check on Alice. See if she's all right.

Mum...

..look, if there's anything we can do...

Actually, there is.

Why don't you do something today? All of you.

You know, breathe a bit of life back into this place

and put some smiles on their faces. Yeah?

Hello? It's me again.

Can you just call me back, please?

OK.

Do you think it's over?

-Between who?

-Mum and Dad.

If Jay did that to you, how would you feel?

But they've been through a lot worse.

Abi, things ain't going to magically get back to the way they were.

I know, but whatever's happened, they still love each other.

Yeah, and that's all that matters, innit(?)

Any sign of Joey?

He's gone away with a mate. Don't know when he'll be back.

Well, is there anything I can do while I'm here?

-Maybe I could put a wash on for you?

-No, thank you.

Or I could do you a bit of breakfast while you have a shower?

Thank you for coming, Auntie Carol, but I'm fine. Really.

OK.

I'll see you later.

Ahem.

Oh. Morning.

Apologise.

For what?

-It's all right...

-No, it's not all right. I said say sorry.

-It's not like I knew she was there!

-What did I tell you, huh?

Totally incapable of taking any responsibility for his actions.

How long are you going to hang around for this time?

I got my decree nisi.

I'm as good as divorced

so watch out, all you single ladies, eh?

-I'm back for good.

-Ah!

-Well, he can't stay here.

-Oh, Zee...

-We have a house guest now.

-Can we...

-No...

-So even if we were to welcome you to our home...

-We can talk later...

There is no more room at the inn!

Heh.

DOOR SLAMS

-All right, babe. You want one?

-When were you going to tell me?

-What do you mean? About what?

-DOORBELL RINGS

Sorry, we've so many secrets, haven't we? I need to be specific.

That my dream honeymoon to the Canary islands

-became some cheap and cheerful trip to Spain. Going to tell me at the airport?

-Yeah.

At least it matches my wedding, I suppose, don't it? Both a joke.

Max, I'm the joke believing anything you tell me.

-Tanya, please. Can I just...?

-Sorry. Lauren let us in.

Bad time, is it?

No. I'm done here.

-Come on, you lot. It's Christmas.

-Don't feel like Christmas no more.

Yeah, it all went downhill pretty quick.

That's why we are going to stop moping and have some fun. Any ideas?

Not ice skating, bowling, or cinema

or nothing else that'll cost us money we ain't got.

We're going to do something here, together, something like cooking!

-Cooking?

-Yes! Yes. We are going to make a slap-up lunch

-and then a cake for Nanny Carol to cheer her up.

-Cook what?

-Ribs.

-And chips.

There you go, ribs and chips. Even you lot can't ruin that.

We haven't got any money or food.

Tyler, have you got any stock left from the stall for Christmas?

Only the stuff no-one wanted.

They will want it at our prices.

As for you, my little Adele,

you are going to go and get the ingredients for Nanny's cake.

Yay, woo!

What's up with them?

He deserves a proper send-off.

I'm not arguing about that, but there's going to be as many people

gloating as grieving. Why give them the chance?

-So we bury him on the quiet, like we're apologising for it?

-No.

What do you think?

Max?

-Sorry, what?

-This is our chance to say goodbye to our big brother.

I don't care what anybody thinks.

-We've got nothing to feel guilty about, have we?

-No.

-No.

-Right. That settles it, then.

So leave all the arrangements to me

and you'll pick up the tab, yeah? And you can handle the wake?

-Yeah, fine.

-Right.

The other thing, I think we need to go and see Dad today,

all three of us, and tell him.

I don't know if that's a good idea.

We can be there and back in a couple of hours.

I'm not even sure we should tell him. What good will it do?

-Are you serious?

-He's right, Carol. Come on, Dad's ill.

Have you not learned anything about secrets?

No. That's all right. I'll go and tell him myself.

-No, no. I can't let you do that, can I?

-Nor can Max.

You should go. You're not needed here.

Right, well,

Dot visits later. I'll phone her and tell her we'll meet her there.

One pound! Everything one pound! Come on. Decorate your tree.

Decorate someone else's tree. Alfie!

-All right, mate?

-Yeah, I'm good.

-Stock up for next year?

-Everything's a pound, Alfie.

If I'm never reminded of Christmas ever again,

it'll still be too soon.

A christening? Whose idea was that, then?

Well, Phil's, but I'm going to be involved.

What's so funny about that?

Can't imagine you in church doing all the God stuff.

It ain't for me, is it? It's for Lexi.

Fair enough. How exactly are you going to get involved, then?

MUSIC PLAYS OVER HEADPHONES

You talk to her?

-Yep.

-And she wants me gone?

-Nope.

-Really?

-She wants you dead but she'll settle for gone.

Don't worry. Her opening salvo's always the fiercest.

Round two will be better, but in the meantime,

you stay out of her way and you stay out of trouble, all right?

# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas

-# We wish you a merry Christmas... #

-Ssh, ssh, stop!

# We won't go until we get some

-# We won't go until we get some... #

-I said enough!

-# We won't... #

-Ssh!

Listen. Firstly, you've come at a very bad time.

Secondly, this is a Muslim household.

And thirdly, you are at least two days late!

Ah...

You're not giving them any money!

We'll also accept certain items of food.

Dad's getting ready to go.

Mum. What's going to happen?

I honestly don't know, Lauren.

So much has happened.

What's the matter?

Can you look after Oscar for me later?

Yeah. Where are you going?

I can't change what's happened, Lauren,

but I can at least try and make one problem go away.

I don't remember the kids saying anything about veg.

-Whoa. This is meant to be a happy day, remember?

-Exactly.

Today is about moving forward

and I want zigzaggy shapes cut into them tomatoes, like in restaurants.

Any luck? Spuds?

-Yep.

-No, when I ask you something in here, you say, "Yes, Chef."

Cake mix, icing sugar, jam?

Yes, Chef. And some sprinkles off Aunty Tanya.

Can we watch telly now?

No! This is the fun bit! Whit, you take over the sauce.

Liam, the spuds. Tiff and Morgs, we're going to do the baking. And...

-Zigzags.

-Yes.

I don't think there's enough room in here for all of us, B.

"Chef".

It's a family day, this is my kitchen and I say there is. Yes?

-Yes, Chef!

-Yes, Chef!

LAUGHTER

Pint of lager, please, landlord.

Not exactly rocking in here, is it? Who's dead?

Derek.

You mean someone actually has died?

Derek Branning.

How?

Bad heart.

Whoa.

Makes sense, I suppose.

Men like that who can only express themselves through their fists,

pressure builds up.

Sorry. What you trying to say?

Hmm?

You got something you want to say about our brother?

No. I didn't mean anything by it.

I want him out before the New Year's party. He is a liability.

You haven't even given him a chance to prove you wrong.

-That's because I am always right.

-He's my brother, Zee.

Trouble is what he is.

-That's not true.

-Everywhere he goes, chaos ensues.

You might want to rescue your brother before he gets lynched.

-Jack!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

-Jack! Jack, come on. No, no, no!

Please, please, I'm sure he didn't mean any offence. OK? Sorry.

-Nice one, bruv. Talk about overreacting!

-What did you do?

-Nothing, man!

-No, never does, does he?

How come there's loyalty in every family except this one?

Because all you ever bring us is shame. (And in front of Ayesha!)

Listen, you have no respect. Loyalty is earned, AJ.

-Yeah? Well, so is respect.

-Will you two just please...

-Whatever!

I'm sorry about this, Ayesha.

AJ brings the worst out in Zainab.

So you don't usually argue this much?

Oh, no, this isn't arguing. The proper arguing is still to come.

-I don't want to be the cause of any family problems.

-You're not!

No, it's like this all the time.

In my family, arguments never lasted.

We were together all the time so we had to find a way to get on.

So much for a quiet drink.

We've got to stick together now, more than ever.

Thanks very much. That's very kind.

We should get going.

Can we stop off on the way first?

Yeah.

All right, sweetheart. Not everyone's unfriendly here. What can I get you?

Actually, I think I'll leave it.

OK, but anything I can do to help, just give me a shout, yeah?

All right, darling, take care.

I don't know what it's meant to taste like, but not that.

-Don't put jam on it. You'll ruin it!

-I'm not going to ruin it.

-You are!

Stop arguing, you two!

Mum, how do you know when these are done?

-Mum?

-What is that smell?

B, have you checked the ribs?

BIANCA SHRIEKS

COUGHING

Right, um, kids, shall we go and watch telly, yeah? Come on.

It'll be all right, Mum.

But it won't, will it? What are we going to eat?

And I get staff discount.

McKlunky's?

-I can't take your money, Liam.

-You let Whit and Tyler help.

Yeah, well, they're adults.

This a family day, remember?

Move in with you?

Yeah. Just for now.

Thank you. But like I said, I'm fine.

No, darling, you're not.

I feel close to him here.

Your dad's gone.

And you know what he'd be saying if he was here?

"Stick together, you know, look after each other."

I'm doing this for my sake as much as yours.

Think about it, yeah?

Yeah.

I've got to get off. The boys are waiting in the car.

I'm going to tell your grandad the news.

Can I come?

Dad said that he'd take me to meet Grandad one day.

Never got round to it.

I can be ready in five minutes, yeah?

I got your text.

-Yeah.

-And...

Listen, I just thought that seeing as you're her mum,

you ought to see Lexi's dress before the christening.

Phil Mitchell - dress shopper!

Yeah. I got it this morning.

It's...lovely. Must have cost a bomb, though.

Well, it's all a rip-off, innit?

-Where's Lexi?

-She's with Sharon.

If you need any help with the christening arrangements

-or anything, I can...

-Nah, everything's done.

All you got to do is turn up next Tuesday and smile.

Oh.

-See you later, then.

-Yeah, see you later.

-See you later.

I prefer chicken anyway.

Where's Liam gone?

What will we do this afternoon?

Have a look in there, Nigella. Someone has to tidy that lot up.

You said today would be a fun day.

Maybe we'll play some charades later or something.

Knock knock!

-Dad!

-All right, son. Ty, what's happening? Whit.

Thought we could do with some professional help.

Yeah. Liam told me a cake needs baking, so I brought my tools.

-And some indoor entertainment.

-Wahey!

You didn't have to, but I'm really glad you did.

-Awesome!

-Kitchen?

Awesome!

Hey!

I should have known. It always comes down to money at the end of the day.

Not everything.

I mean, you're still Lexi's mum. No-one can take that away.

It's going to be you up there with her on the day,

next to Phil and the godparents and the vicar.

Godparents? Who chooses them?

You, usually.

What, and it can be, like, anyone?

Yeah, as long as they're responsible and want to be part of Lexi's life.

-Will you do it?

-Me?

Yeah, you've always been there for Lexi and you wouldn't let her down.

She said "responsible". I'm about to start my community service, ain't I?

You usually have a man AND a woman.

Well, I know your family ain't setting the best example

at the minute, but...

Do you reckon Cora would be up for it?

-Look, can I think about it?

-No! Not after I just said

all those nice things about you. You are the godfather.

So which one of our guests are you enquiring about?

Mrs...um, Branning is...

Tanya.

You look a bit tense. Everything all right?

-I obviously didn't make myself clear last night.

-No, you did.

Right. So what you still doing here?

If you need anything, just, um...shout.

-You come to run me out of town?

-You are not wanted here.

Not by you, maybe, but I'm not so sure Max would...

Forget about Max. This is about you having a bit of respect for me.

-You seem to be mistaking me for the other woman.

-Oh, no mistake.

That's exactly what you are and all you ever were.

Not according to my marriage certificate.

Keep you warm at night, does it, your bit of paper?

Look, I've tried to be reasonable with you, right? And I had hoped

that after everything you put me through on my wedding day...

You really think you're the wronged one, don't you?

As far as I knew, I fell for a single bloke and married him

so don't expect sympathy from me, Tanya,

because I haven't put you through anything.

Not yet, anyway.

Can't I just go back on the sofa, man?

-This is not a doss house.

-That's right, it's a matchmaking agency.

-Some of us still believe in marriage!

-Even if you're no good at it?

-Enough!

-Tell him.

-Tell her.

-I'm telling you both!

This can't go on.

It's not good for any of us.

Now, AJ, you can be with Tamwar for the time being.

-I don't...

-Bu-bu-buh!

Tomorrow, you two are going to spend the day together.

-What?

-Day?

And if you think anything of me, you will get along.

Do you understand?

Good.

What are you getting out of this? What do you want?

-Does Max know you're here?

-What is it you think you're owed?

He doesn't, does he? Tsk! More secrets.

He's told you there's nothing here for you.

There's a big difference between what Max says and what he means.

-Don't you dare tell me about my...

-About your what, Tanya?

I know better than anyone what he is.

He's a liar and a cheat.

So if you and him are finished, why are we even talking?

I didn't...

All I know is that you need to go.

-Is that right?

-Yeah. That's right, Kirsty,

cos you were just a fling, all right? Just a port in a storm.

You're not the first.

What does that tell you?

That Max gets tempted by a certain type of woman, briefly.

You might know a few tricks in the bedroom.

I'm sure you've had a lot of practise but I've got his kids.

I'm sure they'll be a comfort to you when he's gone.

-You're making yourself look desperate, you know that?

-Me?

Nah.

The truth is, you'll never even get close to what me and Max have got.

Oh, please.

He can't help himself when he's around me. He knows it

and you sense it, don't you?

I'm not scared of you.

Well, that's a mistake

because I'm not going anywhere, not as long as Max is still here.

And when I do, it'll be with my husband

because that's what I want, Tanya.

And that is what I'm going to get.

Cheers.

Phil. Lola's been thinking about the christening.

-Yeah, about the godparents...

-It's done.

-What?

Mum and Grant are going to do it.

-Don't you think you should have asked Lo about that?

-I've asked Jay

-and I was about to go ask Cora.

-Cora? Do me a favour, will you?

-Anyway, Jay won't mind, will he?

-No, but I do!

What's the point in Lexi having godparents she'll never see?

The point is, they're family

and that's what Lexi needs right now, isn't it?

Anyway, told you - there's nothing for you to worry about.

Don't you worry, darling.

I've got an idea.

OK, guys. I'd say we're just about done.

Oh! She is going to love that!

Well done, you two. Go on, go and get yourselves cleaned up.

-Well done, guys.

-You saved the day. Thanks.

Hey, it's Liam you should thank.

And I will, but you bought the cake and the video game thing.

It's just nice to see them all happy again.

Yeah, I'll take credit for the cake

but he already had the game with him when he came to get me.

-Shoot!

-Ah! >

DOOR CLOSES

-How was it?

-Yeah.

Don't matter how old you are,

you should go before your kids, shouldn't you?

Babe, what's that suitcase for?

How was Grandad?

You ain't going, are you?

We've got two tickets to Spain, haven't we?

I think we should use them.

Really?

Yeah.

We need some space, away from...distractions.

You guys are going on honeymoon?

You need to be married to go on a honeymoon.

Babe, what's happened?

You've got ten minutes to pack your bags before the taxi comes

if you want to do this.

Right. Your nan's coming to look after Oscar.

She's going to need your help though, so...

I'm not making any promises.

We wouldn't believe you if you did.

Where'd you get it from? Don't say "What?"

Don't lie to me, Liam. Tell me the truth.

It's not what do you think.

Hello, you. Sticking around for the party, then, are you?

Don't see why not. I've got a good feeling about next year.

I'm glad someone has. What can I get you?

You know you said if there's anything you can do to help me?

I found it on Christmas Day.

Looks like Uncle Derek left it to us in his will.

All I am asking for is one day,

one day to make an effort to try and get on.

In case you hadn't noticed,

I have to prepare for the party of the century.

I've just persuaded Phil to give me my job back.

You want me to risk it all by dragging her along?

Her? Her? "Her" has a name, thank you very much!

Her has several names, actually...

Will you stop? Stop! You pack it in!

You can't keep sniping at each other like teenagers in front of Ayesha.

So he has to move out.

-Or she stops talking.

-Or you stop breathing.

-Enough!

Will you just stop it, both of you?

Right. Zainab, you're going to spend the morning with AJ in the Arches.

And if you don't, there will be no New Year's Eve party.

-What?

-I mean it.

And you, you're going to spend the afternoon helping Zainab

-prepare for the party.

-Like that's going to happen!

Well, if it doesn't, you're moving out!

You are doing this.

You are going to be friends

and you've got until the end of the day to make it happen.

Oh! Quick, quick, quick!

-I can't do it!

-Oh, my God!

At least we can pay the bills now.

I can't! It's not letting me!

Yes!

If you've come round to keep bleating, forget about it.

-Phil, you've got to hear me out.

-I ain't got to do anything.

-I said he wouldn't listen.

-See what Billy has to say.

-You'll like it.

-If it solves something...

-There's nothing to solve.

-Mum and Grant are going to be godparents.

-Yeah. OK.

-OK what?

-Lola's OK with Grant and Peggy being godparents.

Are you sure, darling?

Yeah, of course. If...IF...

If what?

-If she can spend some time alone with Lexi.

-Time alone?

Yeah. And I mean really alone. Just me and her,

we go off and do our thing with no Sharon, no Pops, and no you.

You want Peggy and Grant to be godparents,

I get a whole day alone with my daughter.

We knew he had stuff stashed somewhere, we just didn't know where.

-I don't believe this.

-I promise,

when Carol said, "Derek, get rid of it,"

he never brought any of it back in this house again.

The house, the garage, it's still on our property.

Everything we sold on the stall, nobody clocked it was dodgy.

You've been selling it on your stall?

Living in this house, selling nicked gear.

It wasn't his fault. Derek forced him to.

You know, he's like a dog with a bone. The stuff was shifting easily

and he was making serious money off it all.

You got a few grand's worth of stuff sitting out there.

-Does my mum know about this?

-No,

-like I said, she thought it was all gone.

-Let's keep it like that.

She's got enough to think about with the funeral.

Yeah, but it's finders keepers, right?

I've got it covered. I'm not working at the R&R till later

so I can stick around, keep an eye on things.

-What if something happens?

-Come on, like what?

Do you think I'm that stupid to let something happen to my kid?

-That's not what he means, is it?

-That is exactly what I mean.

We're offering you a deal here.

Look, maybe she could stay local, you know.

Take her somewhere in Walford.

-No, there's no rules, no restrictions, nothing.

-Or what?

-Phil...

-She ain't going to go miles, is she?

All she wants is to spend a bit of time alone with her baby.

-I don't see what the big deal is.

-No. I ain't having her playing games.

How about this? Lola has her normal three hours.

-Three hours?

-Three hours, unsupervised.

Gets to go where she wants, do what she likes.

Three hours, she brings her back here.

-You should have run it past me first.

-Rox, Rox, listen, I know,

you're right, I'm sorry, it kind of just happened.

-Has she even done bar work before?

-Of course she has.

Rox, come on, darling, you know as well as I do,

come New Year, it'll be packed. We'll need more hands.

Yeah, all right, fine, I suppose so.

Have we any more tonics?

-Yeah, course.

-There'll be a crate of them out the back.

That's right, yeah.

Come on, Rox. Once word gets out I've two gorgeous birds working here,

this place is going to be packed, eh?

Hey. There you are.

Won't Kim kick off?

She's not here. Go on, eat up.

What do you do for meals anyway?

Have whatever.

When I was your age, son,

man, I could eat a horse.

I can't afford a horse.

I don't know, the burgers you get at McKlunky's,

they come pretty close.

But I'm...

I'm sure you get something to eat when you go over to Abi's?

Yeah. I'm going over there in a bit.

She OK?

No. No, she's not.

What a mess, huh?

You could say that.

That poor girl will be glad to see the back of this year.

Anyhow, she's got you. She's got her friend.

She don't deserve this.

I know.

I know.

Hey.

Take it.

I can't.

Look, take the thing, man.

Treat Abi to a little something special, OK?

Well, I'll pay you back.

Yeah, if and when you get a chance.

No, I will. I can't be scrounging off people forever.

Hey, nobody round here thinks like that.

Things are tough for everybody. OK?

There's got to be some work out there somewhere, surely.

Well, who knows what the new year will bring, son.

Who knows?

Since when does he get breakfast?

Denise, cool it now, man, it's all taken care of.

Did Kim say when she'll be back?

She left a note.

Note?

That is great, that is.

She gets to go to the sales

and I get to change the dirty sheets and chase the punters for rent.

# You're my lady!

-# You're my lady! Yeah... #

-All these young boys in love.

-You better believe it, Mr T!

-Hey, it must be in the water.

-I think so!

-Good job you just drink rum, then.

Hey, Mr T here is the one man I know

that don't need no help with the ladies.

Well, when you know you've got it, son, it'd be a crime not to show it.

You see? Talking about!

# You're my lady... #

It's good to see the young boy happy.

Yeah.

If there's somebody who deserves a bit of love, it's him.

Yeah.

So are you coming to the party?

According to Zainab, it's the party of the century.

Good food, good company...

Well, in that case, Fatboy and I will see you Monday, if not before.

-Brilliant.

-It was lovely to meet you.

-You too.

-See you later.

Oh, B! I was just looking for you.

-Look, B, do you want some work?

-What?

Tanya's away and she's left me in charge, which is great,

but we're getting really busy with all the parties and that

and I just need a hand for a bit. What do you reckon? It'll be fun.

-Sorry. No, you're all right.

-Really? I thought you needed the...

Yeah, I do need the money, but...

Look, I'm sorry, Poppy, you're going to have to ask Lola.

So this do that you're having,

who else is going?

No-one you know, probably.

I think it's just family and friends.

-Quite right, you don't want any riff-raff there, do you?

-No.

Brilliant. I'll look forward to it.

So you're going to come?

Seeing as me and your new friend are getting on so well,

I might just do that.

-Dad? Dad. Did you see that?

-Hmm?

Shirley Carter just invited herself.

Really?

Yeah. Then you invited Poppy and Fatboy.

I just think Mum's probably got a pretty specific list.

Shirley's not going to turn up at some teetotal party, is she?

Don't worry, Tam, I won't invite anyone that will upset your mum.

-So Uncle AJ's not coming, is he?

-Oi.

-This is ridiculous.

-Neither of us want to do this, right? So...

You stay out of the way.

I've got a nice easy morning, no-one chewing my ear off

and I want to keep it that way.

So I will work, and you can read

or knit or whatever it is you do

and we can both tell Mas that everything is tickety-boo.

Oh yes, everything is tickety-boo. No, it is not!

Because I am stuck here with you instead of organising a party

that's going to be the talk of the square

so everything is not tickety-boo!

And by the way, I do not knit!

-Watch yourself.

-Ah!

Great. This is going to come off easily, isn't it(?)

This place is filthy. How can you work in a place like this?

-It's a garage!

-It's disgusting, is what it is.

Here. Put these on.

What are these?

Look.

They've been stuffed down there for a while, but they should fit.

-Minty!

-I suggest if you don't want to get covered in any more grease,

you put them on.

There we go, all set.

-If Social Services get wind of this...

-They won't.

Like bending the rules ever worried you before.

Three hours and no more. You got it?

Funny, that, I was about agree to just two.

Come on. See you later.

Hey. It'll be fine.

Come on.

What exactly are you doing?

Alternator. You know what, grab that.

Whoa! No, not that.

Hold that back. There.

"Alternator".

"Hello. Good evening, everyone, welcome to my party.

"We have no food but would you like your alternator changing?"

PHONE RINGS

What are you grinning at now?

You...

Nothing.

Mitchell Autos.

Yeah, Mr Passmore.

Yeah, everything's fine.

This morning? I'm waiting for a part to come in.

Of course.

Right.

Yeah.

No, you don't have to speak to Mr Mitchell.

Yeah.

No, I'll call you when...

Hello?

What's happened?

Seems me and you got to get busy.

And it's definitely all his?

No, it belongs to the tooth fairy. Course it's his.

I'm sorry, Uncle Jack, but the garage is full of it.

I've got Liam thinking he's Fagin, giving it out to Morgan and Tiff.

You can't have that stuff hanging around. The police find it,

-you'll be back inside.

-I know. So? What shall I do?

-Flog it on the quick or dump it?

-Or call the police.

-No!

If I grass this, they'll be all over me. They'll try and tie me into it.

They'll ask you questions, yes.

But when they find out you're clean, they'll leave you alone.

-What'd your Mum say?

-She don't know.

-Are you serious?

-She's busy sorting out the funeral.

And to be honest, she thought he'd got shot of it.

Whatever you decide, all right,

every bit of that has to be out of that house,

not just for the old bill's sake but for Carol. She don't need this mess.

She don't need Derek's ghosts.

None of us do.

-Lola! Lola.

-You all right?

You are just the person.

Good idea, Bill. Carries on like this, I might get a job.

-You should have done it each way like I did.

-You reckon?

Here they are, my two favourite girls!

All right. Know what? We're having the best day ever.

-Brilliant.

-I was just offered a few hours in Booty's

-for real money, not tips or anything.

-Nice one. What about Lexi?

-Poppy said I can bring her.

-Did some bird dump on your heads this morning?

-What's with all the good luck?

-Just got to be young and gorgeous, eh?

Shirl's thinking she might have to get a job.

Not looking like that, she won't.

What's wrong with the way I look?

I didn't mean...

HE MOUTHS SILENTLY

-Where's the charger?

-Upstairs.

-Right, go and get it.

I want all the bits that go with it, the instructions and everything.

-Why? Why are you taking it?

-Because I have to.

You can't do this. I gave it to them.

We didn't mind sharing it. Please.

We never have anything good, never.

Pump the revs.

A little more.

-A bit more!

-I am!

OK! OK, enough!

ENGINE REVS NOISILY

Stop!

ENGINE KEEPS REVVING

ENGINE STOPS

Mr...Mr Passmore.

Sitting out in that garage is a few grand's worth of stuff.

-It's stolen, Liam.

-Like that's ever bothered you before.

And you know I'm right, otherwise you would've got rid of it by now.

We'll never get another chance like this.

Thrashing the guts out of my motor...

-Hello? I was pumping the revs.

-Ssh!

Do I need to get Mr Mitchell down here?

Honestly, we're nearly there. We just found a few complications.

I want my car.

I understand, if you'd just let me explain....

-Too late, mate!

-Mr Passmore!

Are you are a married man?

I saw the ring on your finger, so I just assumed...

What are you yabbering on about?

Well, does your wife use this car much?

You think I'd let her near this?

What's my wife got to do with this, anyway?

It's just that as I was pumping the revs,

I happened to come across this.

Obviously belongs to your wife. Yes?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they must be....

So if I phoned her and described this undergarment,

then she'd be very pleased, wouldn't she?

-So, your car will be ready...

-Erm...

-Tomorrow.

-Tomorrow.

-Afternoon.

-Afternoon.

-Maybe.

-Maybe.

And I suggest the next time you come in here,

you won't be so rude. You'll be polite

and say thank you to your mechanic for doing such a good job.

THEY LAUGH

Thank you very much. Bye.

So he let you out on a leash?

Uh, no, actually.

I'm doing whatever I want today and no-one's telling me what to do.

-I like that one.

-Revitalising.

Mmm, smells of coconut.

Don't know whether to eat it or just smear it all over me.

Uh, are you buying those?

I don't know, I haven't looked at the others yet.

There you go. Is that nice?

Make you smell all yummy, does it?

Anyway, Phil might think he's clever

but who's the one here with her daughter? Me.

You might think you've got one over on Phil

but believe me, you ain't.

Sorry.

Picture the scene, OK?

This is Tiger Woods with a pitching wedge.

-Do you mean Ronnie Wood?

-No, I don't! Anyway, pay attention.

Here we go. Nice and easy.

Watch the ball. Bring it back...

Oh, yeah, really good. I thought it's supposed to go in the hole?

You reckon you can do better? Come here then, Peroxide.

There you go. That's it. All yours.

-All right.

-Show me what you can do.

-Right. Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

-What?

-Firstly,

you've got to grip this properly.

Keep the hand down there, one finger over the other, almost. That's it.

Now legs slightly apart...

Oi. Focus, all right?

Can I just whack it, yeah?

No, don't whack it!

Oi, all right. So game abandoned,

punters on the course, eh?

Golf? Didn't know you liked golf.

You know, Michael, occasionally I...

Anyway, listen, you want the usual? Excuse me.

No, I think I'll have a brandy.

It looks like Masood's got me everything on my list.

So, Pakistan, what's the plan?

Well, the key to having a successful party is preparation,

so I suggest you start by peeling and chopping these.

I never thought I'd say it

but this morning wasn't so bad.

Well, if I hadn't lost a morning's prep time,

then I might be agreeing with you.

Come on, say it. We were a good team.

I think you'll find my brains saved you from getting fired.

-It wasn't quite like that.

-Yes, it was.

-If I hadn't been there, you'd be out of a job now.

-Is that right?

Yes. And I have got the perfect idea of how you can repay me.

I bet you do.

Ooh! Zainab, I'm sorry.

I know I'm irresistible but this isn't going to happen.

OK, OK...

-Shut up and listen!

-That hurt.

Listen! Tamwar and Ayesha.

-What about them?

-They...

There's no need to ask her.

Dad is wondering because there's so many people coming,

is it paper cups or glasses?

Well, ask your father, "Is it a party or a picnic?"

That's what I said you'd say. It is, isn't it?

I did say that. I said, "There's no need to ask."

It's true.

See? Tamwar and Ayesha...

-No...

-Yes.

-They make a perfect match.

-No.

-You can't.

-Yes, I can.

And you, Mr "I Owe You Big Time",

you are going to help me get them together.

Brilliant! Chop. Peel. Now.

People are bound to clock it.

Kat's hardly out the door, is she?

No, it's not like that, Michael.

Well, I'm just saying how it looks.

Michael, I know, and the last thing I want to do is hurt Kat, all right?

-Just, me and Rox, it's like, small steps...

-Hmm.

-You're a big boy, you're grown up.

-Yes.

-Can do what you want.

You know what you're doing. Just saying, to people round here,

you and Kat, you are the Vic.

-Still no Kim?

-Mm-mm.

she's not been back yet.

Seriously? Is this it?

Doing my sister's to-do list,

running myself into the ground at the minute mart

and watching box sets?

-You know, what we need is a New Year's party.

-Hmm?

Yeah, to shake this year all off.

Yeah, all the fun of going to a party - on your own.

Now stop right there, OK?

You're a beautiful-looking woman, you know,

any man out there would be proud to have you on his arm.

I don't need fixing up.

Yeah, but you've got to be in it to win it.

Eh, Fats, where's it all taking place this new year?

The Masoods'.

No, no, no, I mean, where is it all happening?

I'm serious, Mr T, the Masoods'. I'm there. My lady's there,

my people, everyone's there, the Masoods'.

Zainab's having "the world's biggest party", evidently.

Good, good, good. But where is the real thing happening

where we could find a nice decent man, you know?

I am not a charity case.

Yeah, but you know,

any man would be lucky to have you, you know.

I know, my new year's resolution - finding Mr Right.

Why not?

Yeah, maybe.

-Anyway, what about you?

-Me?

You got any resolutions?

You think there's a gorgeous woman out there for you?

More gorgeous than you and Kim?

Oh, yes. Yes. Well, I know the standard is set ever so high!

But really, you ever wonder if there's someone out there for you?

No?

Well, maybe...

I dunno.

I suppose you've...

got to go out and look for it a little bit, I suppose.

I don't know.

Yeah, well, the way my love life's going,

I'll have to send out a whole search and rescue team.

-What do you think you're doing?

-What's it look like?

No, Liam, you're not doing this.

-I'm getting 40 quid a pop for them.

-And two years in prison.

-Maybe I'm not stupid enough to get caught.

-Maybe you're stupid enough

to sell dodgy gear 20 yards from your own front door.

Do you really want to go through what I've been through, Liam?

Being locked up every night in the dark,

terrified of who might be waiting round the corner.

Is that what you want?

Is this all of it?

You came to me the other day for a couple of quid

and look at that. It's easy money.

Is this everything?

Yeah.

This stops now, Liam, do you hear me? Finished. No more.

Where are you going?

-Mum, what are you going to do?

-Shut up, Liam.

Well, what are you going to do?

What I should have done from the very start.

-Look, she's only a few minutes late.

-So why ain't she answering the phone?

We can't go searching Walford for her.

She's probably back at the house.

-Rox!

-Yeah, all right, I'll be down in a minute, OK?

See you later, bye.

-Um, Lola?

-Yes?

I was thinking, if you're up for it,

I could have a word with Tanya, see if we've any more jobs going.

-Really?

-Cor, the day you're having, thought about buying a scratchcard?

I can't make any promises.

No, no that's all right. That's brilliant. Cheers.

One less person going for a job I wanted.

You looking for work as well?

Well, it's either that or selling a kidney.

Well, I suppose this does kind of make me the job fairy today

but I know of another job going, actually.

Tamwar is still married.

On paper only.

And what about the suitor you're meant to be setting Ayesha up with?

I have sent endless e-mails to Mrs Kayani, OK. I've phoned her,

I've left voice messages. I have heard nothing back.

So that means, by my reckoning, Ayesha is a free agent.

And you don't think her family would want a say in this?

Hey, all she wants is the best person for her daughter

and who better than my Tamwar?

You let me walk all the way home with that on my head?

You know, I was going to tell you

but you were busy being so wonderful saving my job.

And you're being so wonderful here

-helping me in the kitchen, aren't you?

-Hey...

-Yeah!

-Look at us, both wonderful. Hey!

Oh, I was going to ask you how you two are getting along

but I don't think I need to.

No, it's all good!

-Isn't it? AJ?

-Yes, wonderful.

I knew it. I knew if you two spent a bit of quality time together

you'd end up falling in love.

Hey, hands off, she's mine!

-She's a keeper, this one.

-Take your hands off her.

Have you seen Lola?

-I might have done.

-If you've seen her, Shirley...

-Where is she?

We just need to find her.

She's in there, upstairs. Why? What's the problem?

-Phil?

-What do you think you're playing at?

-Phil...

-Three hours, I said!

-I was working. I lost track of time.

-You're working, so you dump her in the corner?

-Phil, she's fine.

-What's all the fuss about?

-He was worried.

If I ring you, OK, you answer your phone. You got it?

OK. I'm sorry.

There's no harm done. Everyone's safe.

What's all this muck on her face?

-It's just a bit of cream.

-There's no harm done, everyone's safe.

Let's get you home. Come on.

It's fine.

No, no.

LOLA SOBS

-Ssh.

-I'm sorry.

-No.

-I'm sorry.

Hope you ain't too hungry, Shirl. They're a bit busy.

They just advertised that job today

-and they've had about 100 people through the door.

-Make it 101.

Thanks.

Don't be fooled by that avuncular exterior.

-Don't let him work you too hard.

-Don't worry about me.

-I've had worse bosses.

-Thank you. Much appreciated.

Incidentally, we're related,

so if he gives you any trouble, come to me. I'm a very good listener.

-Thank you.

-I'll bear that in mind.

-Want to take a break, darling?

-Sounds good, thanks.

-Seriously, anything you need to know...

-Don't worry,

-being behind a bar, it's like a home from home.

-OK.

Hey. Nice.

ALFIE LAUGHS

-Is that a bitter?

-Yes, please.

-All right, buddy.

-I know that face. What are you up to?

-Something.

You coming in New Year's Eve?

-Is that bird working?

-Yes, she is.

-Then I may pop in.

Although not as fit as you, she is quite fit, so...

What about you, what are you doing?

-I'll probably be here. It'll be all hands to the pump.

-Will it now?

How completely transparent of you.

-So it's got nothing to do with being near him...

-Hello? I work here.

And there was me thinking you were just the rebound girl.

Or as you told Alfie,

-this place is all about him and Kat.

-You heard that?

-Yes, I did.

-You earwigging my conversations?

-I don't need your approval.

I don't need anybody's approval. Thank you!

-I'm telling you as a friend. Whether that means...

-Well, don't!

Don't what? Don't say what everyone's thinking?

Tamwar and Ayesha will make a beautiful couple.

-And my grandkids will be gorgeous.

-Mas should know what you're up to.

You listen to me very carefully.

You'll ruin everything!

You can't play with people's lives. I ain't going to help you do that.

Oh, really? Listen to me. You and me do not like each other. Right?

Finally, something we agree on.

Yeah. And we don't want to spend any more time together than we have to.

-Exactly.

-So we pretend to be friends.

We just play along,

Masood doesn't force us to spend any more time together,

you can help me get Tamwar and Ayesha together.

And if you do that, and you do it properly,

I'll consider letting you stay here.

Everyone's happy.

Why does it feel like I'm about to make a deal with the devil?

Better the devil you know.

It's just in here. Like I said,

it's really nothing to do with me, all right?

It's all my uncle's dodgy stuff.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd