18/01/2013 EastEnders

MOBILE CHIMES

You all right, babe? Oscar's ready.

Good, good.

Ugh... What a week, eh? One thing after the other, innit?

Tell me about it.

Hey! Ow...

Kat, we've got an injury, man down!

-Sorry?

-Sweetheart, you might have to phone an ambulance.

-Did you just...?

-Unless, of course, you can kiss it better for me.

There.

You had the bed, now meet the breakfast.

There must be somewhere you can squeeze me in tonight.

Cora, I wish I could. But we are fully booked.

I mean, there must be somewhere you can go, huh?

Why don't you get lost? Then I could have your room.

-I'm sure you'd love that.

-Oh, yeah, I do.

There ain't nothing for you here, girl.

DOOR OPENS

DOOR SLAMS

You all right, babe?

Cor - Oscar's new teacher, bit strict, ain't she?

I was two minutes late, she started giving me dirty looks.

-You know when Lauren called you from the Vic.

-Yeah?

-Was she on her own?

Er...yeah. Why?

Just hate to think of her sitting there all alone.

It's all right. Don't worry, I got round there pretty sharpish.

Did anyone say anything to her about Joey?

Well, I didn't stop to find out -

I went straight in, dragged her out and took her for a walk. So...

Better make a move. See you later.

Bye.

Well?

What?

Rashid. Is he the one?

It's early days still.

I heard what you said...

about two pieces of a jigsaw clicking together.

Do you know Masood said the exact same thing to me once.

-Really?

-Mm.

So?

Well, he's nice. I liked him.

Ah, you'll be seeing him again?

Tonight actually. I just got a text from him.

Tonight?! Oh, it must be written in the stars!

They'll bring everyone...

Masood, I'm going to marry everyone off.

Well, I'm not writing any more invites.

Listen, Mr Grumpy.

I am so thrilled for you.

Yes?

Um, I-I was looking for Cora. Is she in?

Oh, no, she's long gone.

Oh. All right then. All right, thanks.

If I see her, may I say who called?

Um...

I'm actually her grandson.

Her grandson?

Oh. Ooh, I say.

All right, Um...thanks anyway, yeah?

Wait. Have you got a name?

Dexter.

Dexter.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Alfie up here?

No.

Well, can you sign for a delivery then? He's in a hurry.

Oh, um...just sign it and pretend you're me, yeah?

But that might look weird, me coming up here to fetch you

and going back down and telling him I was you all along.

Just go and get Alfie, OK?!

But that's what I was doing.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

ROXY SIGHS

He called me "Kat" before.

-Ouch.

-He didn't even notice.

Exes. They always leave a stain.

Yeah, she's left a bit more than a stain, hasn't she?

-You know what I'd do?

-All suggestions very welcome.

I wouldn't hide up here.

I'd make sure he knows I'm around every second of every day.

He'll soon forget her then.

I'll swap you this for your dad's credit card.

It's on the table.

Oh, right.

There you go.

You just going to sit there all day, are you?

Maybe. It's not like you're doing anything.

I've taken the day off - Lola and Poppy can cope.

It hurt, you know.

You calling your dad instead of me.

Mum, it's not like we were getting on.

Well, I still worry about you, don't I?

I mean, I was worried when it took him so long to get you home.

So he found you straightaway, did he?

I'd barely hung up and he was there.

Drink your drink.

Come on, work!

Hold on!

If you treat them machines right, they'll treat you right.

They ain't alive, Dot.

Yes, well, show some respect.

Here you are. You'd better inform people of your new address.

Maybe I already have.

Oh, so you've got somewhere already?

Luckily enough, I have a daughter who cares very deeply for me.

Huh. She'll learn.

Oh, talking of family, your grandson was looking for you.

How was he?

Ooh, I was too shocked to ask.

I mean, you kept that one close to your chest.

Did you tell him where I am?

It ain't my business to, Cora.

Here, this place has gone downhill.

Got your message.

You wanted to see me?

-You didn't have to come all this way.

-It's my lunch hour.

Dexter's doing a half day at that garage

and he needed something, so I thought I'd kill two birds.

What did you want?

To say hello, see how you are.

Is it money?

Ooh!

That's hurtful.

Do I have to keep guessing or are you going to come out with it?

OK, if...

if you put it like that, it's pretty simple, really.

How do you fancy me coming to live with you?

SHE LAUGHS

Too much?

Er, you're probably asking the wrong person.

It's what men like, though.

Well, some men.

-OK, here you go.

-What's this?

-Shopping. Bits and pieces.

-I've got to be at work in a minute!

Perfect. Then you'll be passing the shops, won't you?

My feet aren't what they used to be, you know.

Someone expecting a kiss later?

I-I-I was just trying it on.

Oh, it's perfectly normal.

I-I wouldn't, though.

Kiss him, I mean. I-I-I wouldn't dream of it.

But you like him?

Yeah, but...

Yes?

I-I-I never...

I've never gone that far.

Really?

I wanted to say how sorry I am.

Nice timing.

You get kicked out of your house at the exact same time

you want to turn over a new leaf.

Remarkable.

It's from the heart.

I'm sure it is but you got it the wrong way round.

The apology should've come first.

I wanted to be upfront. Honest.

Nice try.

But it's too quick for any of that.

I hardly know you.

We could get to know each other.

Cheers.

This, this could bring us closer together.

The best I can offer is I've got a new job close by.

So, who knows?

If you're good, you MIGHT get to see a bit more of us.

What do you think?

So you don't believe Max or Lauren?

No. No, they're hiding something.

He's covering for something

and she's now covering for whatever he was covering.

Right. Well, I think I get that.

Kirsty called, I know that cos I saw it on his received call list.

Then he's gone to her,

then somehow or other, later on, he's pitched up at home with Lauren.

But, in between that, there are these precious moments I can't account for.

Well, was there only one call from her?

Yeah, only one that I know about.

You see, I can't say anything cos he's going to know I've been snooping.

-Which you were, Tan.

-Mm.

Oh, come on, you must have a little look at Jack's phone now and then.

-No!

-No?

-No.

Really? Well, he probably has a little look at yours.

He's an ex-copper, ain't he? He knows how to find these things out.

Well, no, he's got no reason to.

I mean, neither of us have.

But, Tan, you really need to speak to Max about this.

I can't. I can't.

If I'm wrong, he'll go crazy.

Yeah, and you're going crazy now.

So talk to him.

That was one LONG English Lit exam.

Spent half of it wondering what to write.

I won't be going out to celebrate.

Shame, could've asked Phil and he could've ruined another night.

Well, that was you, not him.

Yeah, but if he hadn't come in when he did...

Dexter didn't care.

-Course he did, Scabs.

-No, you just read him wrong.

Oh, really?

Oh, go over, say hello.

You all right, you lot?

Yeah! Could be better, could be worse, you know.

Yeah, go on. No, man, I've just been doing a bit of work.

-Well, what did that achieve?

-He can find other friends.

-Well, go after him.

-No, I'm not going after... Abi!

Dexter!

Yeah?

Er, that was Abi, not me.

DEXTER LAUGHS OK.

Um...she seems to think I fancy you but I don't.

Yeah, that's cool.

"Cool"?

Yeah.

I mean, friends I can deal with, but girlfriends?

-I need my freedom, babe.

-Oh, right.

So what do friends do round here?

One sec, yeah?

ABI MOUTHS

I was looking for you, Nan.

Well, here I am.

Look, I just wanted to say sorry for the other day.

I proper didn't mean to get you in trouble, you know.

Don't worry about it, me and your mum are talking.

Oh, oh right. Cool.

I hope so. Early days yet...

but it might well be "cool".

THEY BOTH LAUGH

All right.

SHE MOUTHS

Everyone's happy. Come on.

My first kiss was a poster of Santosh Kumar.

And all I've thought ever since was, "I bet he tastes of paper."

SHE LAUGHS

M-Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Maybe I should just wait.

Are you crazy?

If you leave it any longer, your lips'll dry up.

Tell her, Masood. Tell her she has to kiss Rashid.

Is-isn't that up to Ayesha?

Well, of course it is. But that is what she should do.

# Da-da-da, da-da-da... #

Oh, sorry, Cora, we're still fully booked. No cancellations yet.

I've never been so popular(!)

First Dot, then you and now Ava.

Wha...? You've seen Ava?

And Dexter.

Ah. So what does it feel like, having another grandchild?

As long as he don't want to date Abi, I'll be happy.

You don't mind, do you?

DOOR CLOSES

Hello.

What's all this? You retired or something?

No, I just fancied seeing you, didn't I?

Well, I can understand that.

Do you want some wine?

-Er, yeah, go on.

-Yeah?

Well, we should do lunch more often.

Yeah, we should, shouldn't we?

Well, it's been a hard few weeks, hasn't it?

You must've been freezing last night,

just walking round and round like that.

Yeah, we were. Yeah.

Took you so long, I started to get worried.

Thought something had happened to you.

-Anyway, cheers.

-Cheers.

Was Kirsty working?

At the Vic. She still there?

Only I hate to think of her, you know, just...

watching with that smug look on her face.

Er, no, she weren't, no.

Must've had a night off.

Right.

DOOR OPENS

All right?

-This is for you.

-Oh.

It's not a good time, Mum.

I've got a problem.

-You know I'm homeless.

-Mum, please.

Bottom line is...

can I stay for a bit?

I'll earn my keep, starting with tonight. I'll cook dinner.

You? Cook?

This family needs me.

-Considering what's been going on.

-Mum!

Lauren, Joey - all that.

Oh, and thanks for telling me, by the way!

All right, all right! You can stay but it's just for tonight.

You won't regret it, I am going to be such a help to you.

DOOR CLOSES

Babe, what did you do that for?

Why do any of us do anything?

DOOR SLAMS

No, it was proper nice of that buff ting to let you off early.

You mean Poppy? No, that's all make-up.

Anyway, you get the drinks in, I'll line this up.

You just always carry films around with you?

Bargain bucket on one of them market stalls.

Should we not wait for Jay and Abi first?

They can wait for the sequel.

Oh, planning on making a night of it then?

I've got to make up for yesterday, innit?

I mean, you've got a kid - so what?

Loads of people have 'em.

Can you believe it? I could kill him.

That's if I don't kill Kirsty first.

Tan, I half wish I hadn't told you to talk to him now.

He lied to me. Course he did.

He acted like he hadn't heard from her, he hadn't seen her.

Right to my face.

So that'll be £9.08, please, my darling.

But make it a tenner and you get a smile to remember.

I doubt he heard you over the noise, babe.

What noise?

-Here, Peroxide, you got a sec?

-No, I'm working. I'm working.

-Raymundo, hold the fort, mate.

-All right.

Listen, I've just got off the phone from some bloke

who's trying to sell me a mechanical bull.

-Ah, yes, brilliant, brilliant!

-"Brilliant"?

I've had these ideas - we should do foam parties, theme nights and cocktails.

-We'll be rocking every night, all night, I'm telling you.

-You serious?

Yes. You and me, we'll be party central, all right?

We're going to be the hosts with the mosts, you and me. Yes, we are.

OK, who's next?

You see, I know she's your grandma,

but there's some things you don't touch

nor go moving around without a by-your-leave.

Well, this should make you feel more at home then.

Well, I'm hoping so.

Well, I better go, Nan's cooking.

You're glad to be back though, aren't you?

Well, I'm still not sure, to be honest with you.

Well, Jay is.

Jay is? What, pleased I'm back?

Yeah. He said you really helped him.

Huh. Did I? I didn't do nothing.

Well, you obviously did - he seems, I don't know, sort of happier.

And that's down to you.

DOT CHUCKLES

Well, then. Perhaps there is still room for me here then.

-Bye, Abi.

-See ya.

KNOCK ON DOOR

I'll get it.

No, wait.

H-h-how do I look?

-Yeah, you look great.

-Er...

Promise?

Just...go and have a good time.

-Ready?

-Mm-hm.

Hiya.

-Hello, you.

-Hi.

Ooh!

AYESHA LAUGHS

Oh, thank you.

You ready?

Yeah.

Oh.

Be yourself.

Yes?

Hi, I'm Janie Rivers, from the council.

Oh. How do you do?

Name doesn't ring a bell?

Er, should it?

I wrote to you quite a few times.

Anyway, I'm sorry to call so late,

but we need to talk to you about a few things.

Oh?

-Well?

-It was good. But I don't understand the bit where...

PHONE CHIMES

-SHE SCOFFS

-Abi and Jay can't make it.

Hey, I'm starving. Can you cook?

Er, yeah. Beans on toast, cheese on toast

and my speciality is beans with cheese on toast.

Lucky my mum taught me, then, boi.

Er, you're going to cook for us?

Yeah. It depends on what you've got, though.

-I ain't really got...

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Thought you said Abi and that weren't coming?

-Well, I thought...

-BANGING ON DOOR PHIL:

-Lola!

Great(!)

You got any of that stuff for when she's grizzly?

Er, yeah. Is she all right?

-Yeah, she's fine.

-Phil, can you wait a minute? I...

That's twice in two nights.

What is?

-You and him.

-We're just friends.

Yeah, well, you could do better.

You gave me work.

Well, that's work, this is different.

Here you go. You sure she's all right?

Yeah, she's fine. And, er...

-Get rid of him.

-What?

-You want to keep me happy, don't you?

-But...

Why do you let him talk to you like that?

-Cos he can.

-Forget Phil, man.

Look, I think you should probably take the films

and watch them with someone else.

Here we are.

We've also been calling and, when you didn't answer,

we were worried something might have happened.

Oh, no, no, everything in the garden is lovely.

But thank you ever so much for your concern.

You haven't answered our letters either.

Ah, well, you see, I've only just got back.

I ain't been here for some months.

-You haven't?

-No.

But I'll look for the letters, you know.

I'll open then, if I can find them.

Well, I hope you can.

Only you're over £1,000 in rent arrears.

What? Over £1,000?

Oh, no. No, that can't be right.

I've got the paperwork if you want to see it.

Oh no, no, no, that must be wrong.

I'm afraid it isn't.

Well, I ain't the only one you should be asking for money from.

Cos, you see, there's been Cora here. And Arthur and Poppy.

And then there was my half-sister, Rose, and her son, Andrew.

And these people are...?

Well, they was living here.

They were staying here while you were away?

Yes, cos they was homeless, you see.

I'm sorry, Mrs Branning, but we might have to discuss this further.

Hope you're hungry.

Babe, I tell you now, I ain't eating that.

-Eh? She's trying her best.

-Yeah? She's getting on my nerves.

-Where you going?

-Just need some cigarettes.

Or you could give up.

Or you could just tell her to leave.

It's only for one night.

Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it.

Will you be long?

Well, no, shouldn't be - unless there's a MASSIVE queue.

Why?

Just I might miss you, that's all.

Well, I might miss you and all.

Max, it's a bit nippy, you m...

DOOR CLOSES

KEYS JANGLE

-RASHID:

-Just one kiss.

Maybe next time. I...

You don't like me?

I-I-I didn't say that, I just...

Don't mind me.

I'll call you, yeah?

Didn't mean to ruin your big moment.

Wasn't that big.

That's why I'm back so early.

Aw.

I-I don't know what I'm doing.

I got dressed up and I got excited but it just...

..it just felt flat.

Well, maybe you should tell him and...

Yeah?

And think about what you want.

You know what that is.

Ayesha...

..you can't have those thoughts.

Come on.

Listen to me. Look...

..maybe finding the right guy isn't for you right now.

Maybe you need to think about who you are what you want to be.

You've got dreams, haven't you?

I suppose.

Well, my advice to you is...

follow them.

Mexican night? Eh, eh? Whoo!

Come on then, let's just take a minute, eh?

-What, you don't fancy Mexican?

-No, I love Mexican.

It's just that Kirsty...

told me what I said. About...

calling you Kat. Rox, why didn't you say something, eh?

I don't know. I just didn't know... I didn't know how, OK?

It was just a slip up, all right? What shall we call it?

Let's just call it an Alfie Moon moment of madness, yeah?

-Yeah, but you're still thinking about her.

-No. No, no, no.

You must be. Come on, it's only natural, Alfie.

Come here. See, this is... Hand on my heart, all right?

On my life, on everyone's life, I'm not thinking about her.

Feel my heart beating there? See? Cos you're my Peroxide, ain't you?

You are my dyed-blonde woman of my dreams, all right?

-Are you sure?

-Yes. What do you want me to do?

Run through the Square naked going, "Hey, everybody...!"?

Come on, what was all that about, anyway?

I just want you to know that it is me here. OK?

ME. Not her.

-You are all I see. I promise you.

-I've got to make sure.

OK, so just get a big marker and write on all the walls,

everywhere anyone can see, "Alfie and Roxy." Is that what you want?

You're an idiot.

Listen, me and you Rox...

we don't have problems.

That's what makes us special, all right? No problems.

Cos that's not what we're about.

We're about...

about honesty...

..and we're about having the...

the best of times. Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, good.

-OK, so...

-Hm?

..there is one more thing.

OK, what's that?

I think I'm in love with an idiot.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

OK, that's good.

All right, I think we might have something in common then.

Did you just...?

Rox...

-Say it again.

-OK.

I think...

..I'm in love with an idiot.

Oh!

-Why didn't you just tell me?

-I was waiting till later.

I had a little surprise lined up for you, that's all.

Is it shoes?

-No, no, it's not shoes.

-Sorry!

-It's a surprise. Be patient, all right?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-WHISPERING:

-How can I possibly be...?

I don't...

KNOCK ON DOOR

What the hell are you doing?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd