19/02/2013 EastEnders

Tommy, come on. Look, look, look, it's your favourite.

-Problems?

-He won't eat his breakfast.

He must be full from that fry-up I made for him earlier.

-You having this or not?

-No.

Not interested, are you?

That's cos children are quite sensitive to change.

ROXY SIGHS

It will get easier, you know.

PHONE RINGS

Kat, where are you? I'm trying to call you, look.

Phone me when you get this message. Yeah?

Is your partner in crime not joining you today then?

When I say partner in crime, I'd like to make it absolutely clear

I am in no way referring to your criminal record.

What's it got to do with you anyway?

I'm the new Assistant Market Inspector.

Peeping Tom, more like. Listening in on people's phone calls.

You're mixing your metaphors a little bit there

cos a Peeping Tom wouldn't be listening, would he?

He'd be peeping.

Has anyone ever told you you're a little bit weird?

-Pretty much everyone, yeah.

-Where's Lister anyway?

He's on holiday. So I'm officially in charge of the entire market on my first day.

-Ooh! Bully for you!

-So is Kat going to be joining you?

Only we like to see the all the stall-holders on their stalls.

Tell you what, I'll go and have a look, shall I? See where she is.

You can't leave your stall unattended. Market rules.

Thanks for the offer, and make sure you don't scare the customers away.

Looking after other people's stalls is NOT

in the Assistant Market Inspector's job description.

Take that. It'll be character building.

Weirdo!

What's that about?

Kat. She's gone AWOL.

And Poppy's going to help me fill out forms for my apprenticeship.

-No, that's great.

-So, soon I'll be able to tick it off my list.

-You're going to struggle with number five.

-Eh?

Er, excuse me, I am a reformed character, I'll have you know.

-I think it's good. Proper making an effort, an' that.

-Hmm.

Oh! Where's Lexi?

With the child minder. Shouldn't you be at work?

And I don't pay you two to stand around yakking. Get on with it.

-Yeah, we're doing it.

-Yes, boss. Straight on it.

Oh, Phil. I got that for Lexi.

-She can't have it.

-Why not?

Not suitable for anyone under the age of 12 months.

Don't listen to that, that's just health and safety rubbish.

All the kids down the parenting class have got 'em.

Well, let's hope there's someone on hand when they start choking on 'em.

You don't want to be late for work, do you?

-See you later.

-Ta-ra.

-Later, Lola.

Ten years being Kat Moon. And now what?

Just go back to being Kat Slater? No more Kat and Alfie.

Just Kat.

Whoever she is.

I remember how I felt when me and Ricky got divorced.

If this is where you tell me that "time is a great healer"...

No. That's a load of old rubbish. Time's not a great healer.

Just numbs the pain, don't it?

Come on, budge over. Let me get on there with you.

We can just lay about all day.

-Just go and look after the stall.

-To hell with the stall.

I mean, who needs the stall? To hell with the stall.

To hell with our kids...

I get it.

-You're not putting me on a guilt trip.

-I'm not trying to.

But if you want to sit there and wallow in self pity, it's fine with me.

Yeah, that's what I intend to do.

Or you could stick your two fingers up to the world and get out there.

No, that's all right. I'll just stick to this quilt, thanks.

Fine.

But when you get to the end of the day and realise nothing's changed,

just remember, whatever you've lost,

you've still got Tommy.

You've still got your stall.

They're both things that are worth fighting for.

I know it's hard, Kat.

But it is just a day at a time.

You know the way out, don't you?

DOOR SHUTS

This isn't fun for me either, Liam, trust me.

I love you!

Hello? Hello?

-Kamil.

-He's got his own mobile now, has he?

Yeah, they grow up fast. He even reversed the charges and everything.

Look, I can't do this!

Putting in the hours during half term. Impressive.

Liam is behind with his school work.

Look, give it here. Can't be that hard, surely.

Hmm.

Maybe I can help?

Now, have you got everything that you need?

-Looks like it.

-And I'm off work, so if you need anything else,

you just, er...you ring this!

You can ring my bell any time, Pops.

Oh, sorry!

Thanks.

Thanks for everything, huh?

Still no Kat?

-She's got a migraine.

-Right.

Good to see you doubling your efforts in her absence.

You know they make those stories up.

You're such a killjoy, do you know that?

Yeah, lighten up, geek boy.

There's enough misery in the world without you adding to it.

Geek boy. That's original.

THEY LAUGH

Get up. Come on! We've got a stall to run.

Come on, ladies and gents! West End goods at East End prices!

So you multiply that one by that one and Jamal's your uncle.

Something I used to say to Syed.

Yeah, what, when he was six?

Why don't we just stick to the matter at hand here?

Erm, have a go at that one, there.

Do you actually know anything about teaching?

I mean, you're only a postman.

Have I said something to offend you?

Yeah, you think you know it all, don't you? You don't know nothing.

Oi, Liam! Liam!

It's all right. Let me.

There you go, darlin'. Don't forget to tell your mates where you got it.

And if you're wondering, we're both single.

-Sorry Kat, I didn't mean...

-It's all right.

-If you want to talk about it...

-I got nothing to talk about.

-Men are overrated, anyway.

-Yeah. You're right. They are.

From now on it's mates and money, in that order.

Yeah, mates and money.

-Oh, Kat...

-No, it's all right.

I'm not going to let THAT ruin my day.

Morning, Kathleen.

-You look nice today.

-SHE LAUGHS

Call me paranoid, but I'm getting the distinct impression

you're not happy with me about something.

I don't think that's fair. You need to cut me some slack.

I couldn't get involved. He's my cousin after all.

And Tommy's your son.

But then getting involved isn't really your style, is it, Michael?

You all right, darlin'?

Someone moved on quickly, didn't they?

Bit of compassion wouldn't go amiss.

-School's lame, huh?

-You're lame.

Tam used to call me sad. Is lame the new sad?

Nah. You're sad AND lame.

You know, I was never very good at school.

-You don't know nothing about me.

-No, you're right. No.

I don't.

But I do know that we could all use some help once in a while.

Take me, for example. I've been a real mess since Zainab left.

But your gran, she helped me out.

She kept me busy making curries when she could have done it herself.

So, what do you say we go back to the cafe and start again?

-Well, here we go, Pops.

-Mm-hmm.

-One Kimberley's Special.

-Thank you.

-I don't even do that for the paying guests.

All right, then. Here you go.

-Thanks.

-Well, tuck in then!

I, erm...

I need you to cut it up for me, please.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry.

You know, if you like, we can always play the choo-choo train.

No, it's all right, I can manage on my own now. Thanks.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. Thanks.

-Oh, OK, then.

-HE LAUGHS

-Oh, yeah.

Black coffee, please.

Oi! So you've decided to come back then?

Liam has decided to accept my apology for my outdated

teaching methods and has generously agreed to give me a second chance.

Isn't that right, Liam?

Yeah.

Get back to your books.

I'm really sorry he behaved like that.

Oh, it's all right.

I'm an old hand when it comes to dealing with stroppy teenagers.

Bianca's 35 and she's still a stroppy teenager.

And thank you for getting through to him.

Is there anything else bothering him at school?

No. I don't think so. No.

-Cos he's way behind on where his work should be.

-Yeah?

You know, I could help. Private tutoring.

No. Do you know what, we just couldn't...

Carol, listen, it would be my pleasure.

It would give me something to do with all that spare time.

Tell you what, why don't we go for a drink at The Vic later,

seal the deal?

Please, Carol? Come on.

You'd be saving me from another night in with the two stooges.

-Well, all right, if you put it like that.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Hiya.

Everything all right?

What do you think of this?

It's gorgeous. Sure Lexi will love it.

Phil doesn't think so. He thinks it's not suitable or whatever.

-Why does he hate me so much?

-Oh, he doesn't hate you.

He does. He wouldn't treat me like this if he didn't, would he?

Look, he wants what's best for Lexi. That's all.

And I don't?! Sharon, I am trying really, really hard.

Look. See, I even made a list.

But anything I do isn't going to be good enough for King Phil, is it?

You know, sometimes I think Lexi would have been

better off in a foster family after all.

Lola, don't say that.

I'm going back to work.

BELL RINGS

You rang, milord?

-What can we get you, Patrick? Tea? Coffee?

-Bed bath?

I need the bathroom.

Right, well...I'll take you then.

Thanks.

There you go. And if that don't stop him snoring, nothing will.

Ta-ra, darlin'.

All right, Jean.

It's nice to see you smiling again.

Especially after last night's little outburst.

Thanks for warning me.

That's no excuse for the way you've behaved towards Alfie.

Well, it's nice to know whose side you're on.

This isn't about sides.

Isn't it?

No.

Hello, darlin', you all right?

There.

That wasn't so bad, was it?

Jay, you don't have to do that.

I know. But we've all got to do our bit, now you're out of action.

All right, Tam. How was your first day?

Yeah, good.

Apart from having to deal with Thelma and Louise over there.

Oi, that's my future mother-in-law you're talking about.

No second thoughts then?

Only you know what they say - all women turn out like their mothers.

Suppose you just have to know how to handle women.

And how's that?

Smooth.

Smooth?

Yeah, suppose you've just got to turn on the charm a little.

-Smooth?

-Smooth.

Good day's trading, ladies?

Best day ever. Thanks to this one.

Excellent.

And can I just say, you're both looking lovely today.

Is that right, Inspector Masood?

Yep. And I'm sure you'll pack the stall away properly.

Oh, I don't know, really. We're just two helpless women.

Maybe you could show us how to do it properly.

THEY CACKLE

I'll leave you to it then.

Weirdo.

We should go out and celebrate.

Oh, no, I'm going to go and have a nice long soak and then

go and get Tommy and take him home.

I've got to get home. Ray's bringing Tiff and Morgan back soon.

Listen, Bianca. Thank you for today.

It's all right. And we get to do it all again tomorrow.

I was thinking, I'm going to take the day off tomorrow.

And take Tommy to see my dad for the day.

-Yeah. You go for it.

-Cheers.

Can I help you?

I'm here to see Lexi.

You're late.

I got held up at work. I couldn't just walk out.

Listen, if you want to be a full-time mum,

you need to get your priorities right.

What? No, you can't do this.

That's right. Go on. Kick off. Show your true colours.

What's wrong with you? Phil! What's wrong with you?

Oh, what's all this in aid of then?

All what?

The 60-minute make over.

It's nothing.

Is someone going on a date?

It's not a date.

It smells like a date to me. So, who's the lucky fella?

Masood.

SHE SQUEALS

Is it not a bit soon after Zainab leaving

for him to be going on dates?

It's not a date!

He's single. He's asked to take you for a drink.

It's a date. Duh!

He's buying me a drink to discuss Liam's school work.

That's something else we need to talk about.

-We will do. After your date.

-It's not a date!

But seriously, if you like him, go for it.

He's a nice bloke. Even if his son is a bit of a weirdo.

Hey, Tam. Good first day?

Yeah. Where are you going?

Just going for a drink with Carol.

-Carol Jackson?

-Yeah.

You are going on a date with the mother of the devil spawn?

It's not a date.

If you hook up with Carol,

that would make Bianca my stepsister.

And of all of the calamities that have befallen this family,

Dad, that would be the hardest to bear.

Just as well it's not a date then.

-Where's Jay?

-He's done for the day. Can I help?

Yeah. You can help me smash up...

-I really don't think you want to do that.

-Yes, I do!

Get off of me!

What's happened? Lola? What's Phil done now?

Stopped me from seeing Lexi.

And you went off on one. Which is exactly what he wanted.

-What would you know about it?

-You think I'd still have a job here

if I kicked off every time Phil wound me up? No.

So, what am I supposed to do then?

Do what I do. Play the game.

Take whatever he throws at you. Yes, Phil. No, Phil.

-Three bags full, Phil?

-And you bow and scrape if you have to.

Because that way, in the end, you still get what you want.

And you've come this far. You want to mess it up now?

Hi.

Oh. You look, erm...different.

It's not often I get a break from the kids.

So I thought I'd make a bit of an effort.

Well, you look great.

Thank you.

So, Liam's school work...

-I've come to get Tommy.

-He's sleeping at the moment.

You'll just have to wake him.

-He's had the sniffles all day.

-And you didn't think of telling me?

He's had the sniffles all day

and I thought it best if he stayed with me tonight.

-I think I know what's best for my son.

-Is that right?

I don't think this is the time or the place, Kat.

Oh, look, chief cheerleader's joining in.

Excuse me, don't take it out on Jean. Thank you.

Would you rather I took it out on you instead?

Your idea, was it?

The divorce?

No. No, actually, that was all Alfie's idea.

He thought of that all by himself. I can't imagine why.

I bet you couldn't believe your luck when I screwed up, could you?

You finally got what you'd been sniffing round for all that time.

-Kat.

-Make you feel good, does it,

picking over the pieces of a broken marriage?

That's enough now, Kat.

And now you've got your name over the door,

do you want to be the next Mrs Moon now, yeah?

You listen. This wasn't my doing.

I'm not the one who cheated on Alfie.

And I'm getting a little bit sick of everyone treading on eggshells

around you like you're the victim.

Cos you're not! OK? Alfie is the victim. Not you.

You did this by yourself, Kat.

You are the one that behaved like a complete slapper.

Oi, that's enough. That's enough!

No, no, no! Stop. Wait. Fine.

It's fine.

I'll let her have that one.

Considering all you've been through.

What about this one?

CROWD GASP

No. That one you're going to pay for.

Whoa! Enough! Enough now!

Come on then!

Michael, get her off, will you? That's enough!

-Come on then!

-What are you doing?

Getting involved!

Right! Get her out of here.

Kat, you're a disgrace, you know that?

You are not fit to be a wife or a mother. Now get out!

-I'm fine, I'm fine.

-All right, all right.

Another quiet night in The Vic.

Yeah. It's a shame about those two.

I always thought they had something special.

Really? And I always thought you were a good judge of character.

Alfie clearly adores her though.

But it takes two people to make a relationship work.

Don't I know it!

-I'm sorry.

-It's OK.

You know, I proposed to Zainab on this very spot.

We were supposed to be married last week.

You OK?

No, Alfie, I'm not. I'm sorry, but if she sets foot in here again,

I'm going to have her.

BELL RINGS

Seconds out. Round 23.

It hasn't been that bad.

I haven't done half the things I was supposed to do today.

Well, it'll be worse tomorrow. You're on your own.

< What if he wants to go to the toilet?

-Then you'll have to take him. >

-< But I've just had my nails done.

I'm sure you'll manage. I had to. >

And before you know it, you're looking back and thinking

where did the last 30 years go?

I'm sorry. This can't be much fun for you.

No, it's fine.

Let's change the subject. And besides, I am done with romance.

I mean, who wants the nightmare of dating again?

-I need to get going.

-Was it something I said?

Oh. I'm sorry, did you think...?

I need to go.

Mum was over the moon to meet her great granddaughter.

It's like another chance for all of us.

I saw Lola earlier. Refusing to let Lexi have a cuddly toy.

What next, Phil?

It's not my fault if Lola's too stupid to know

what toys are suitable for her own kid, is it?

Oh, come on, Phil. She's trying. She's got her job.

And she's applying for an apprenticeship.

It'll take more than a poxy job to make a proper mother out of her.

Anyway, she'll probably end up failing the course anyway.

Why are you so hard on her?

Cos I don't think Lola's ready to take Lexi back full time,

that's why.

Lola could be a good mum. Deep down, you know that.

Oh, yeah. That's why she was round here earlier on

shouting the odds for no reason. Kicking my door in.

She did seem a bit wound up.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Back for round two, are you?

No. I wanted to apologise for kicking off before.

I promise I'm never, ever, going to do it again.

I am going to prove what a good mum I can be for Lexi.

Oh, Phil?

Could you give Lexi a kiss good night for me, please?

And tell her I'll see her at my next visit.

Carol, wait. Look, can we just start again?

Hello. I'm Masood.

You look lovely. Do you come here often?

Good night, Masood.

Look, I'm sorry for being such a blind, insensitive fool.

Look, it's all right. It's too soon after Zainab.

And I shouldn't have assumed.

No, it isn't. And, you know what, I'm glad you assumed.

I just didn't think someone like you would be

interested in someone like me.

I'm really looking forward to our first proper date.

-If you're still interested.

-Oh, is this a sympathy date now?

Carol Jackson, would you do me

the honour of going on a date with me tomorrow night?

Well, that all depends

on whether you put more effort in next time.

I shall be groomed to within an inch of my life.

I might even cook for you.

Well, there's an offer I can't refuse.

-Just calm down, Kat. And have a drink.

-Cheers.

Do you want me to go round to Alfie? Have a word?

-No.

-Sure? I'll do it if you want me to.

Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?

Guilty conscience.

You don't think I'm a bad mum, do you?

No.

You're the best there is.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd