18/04/2013 EastEnders

Yeah, see - you get the duck. Duck's there, yeah?

So now you have to go on your... we have to crawl.

We have to crawl... This is where we crawl. Hands and knees.

Hands and knees.

To be continued.

What does she want?

I always knew one day you'd come crawling.

I was having a clear out

and I thought Scarlett might want some of Tommy's old toys.

Yeah, maybe... Once they're disinfected.

Do you both want to come over for dinner later?

You're cooking? What, a microwave special?

No, the girl will do it. Alice.

You know, one of these days Alice's going to find a job where she's

not treated like a skivvy.

You should appreciate her more cos you're going to lose her.

Max, you seen Jack?

Nah. You ain't heard, have you? He's gone away.

Gone where?

I don't know. All he said was he needed some space.

That's good. So he's going to let me run the gym

and look after a child on my own, is he?

It ain't all about you, is it?

Yeah, it is. It's always about me.

See. See, there he goes. Just walking straight back home, to her.

He does live there, Mum.

Yeah. Still, you'd think he could find five minutes to just drop in,

tell me he was having a baby, wouldn't you?

He's got no idea, you know.

He made me swear not to tell.

Oh, yeah, cos you're the height of discretion

when you've had a few drinks, aren't you?

What am I supposed to do now, eh?

Just pretend I don't know? Till she's the size of a house?

He is going to tell you. He was meant to tell you yesterday.

Is that when he told you?

No.

How long have you known, then?

A few days.

I mean, it's not like I expect to be the first person

he breaks the news to. I know we're not together any more.

I just...

..hope he's got the decency to tell me

before half the Square find out.

I'm sure he'll be round some time today.

Well, he better had.

It's not going to go away, is it?

Babe?

There you are. I've been trying to call you all morning.

You don't need to keep

checking up on me. I went down the clinic for a consultation.

-You should have told me. I'd have come with you.

-It was no big deal.

They just asked me if that's what I wanted and to come back later.

What for?

What do you think?

What, you're going to have it already?

Well, that's what you want, to get it over with.

We've made our decision and I ain't changing my mind now.

We may as well get it done

so we can actually talk about something else for once.

Oh, very smart, Shirl. You look great.

I look like a lemon...but it's what I get paid for, I suppose.

Well, there's a bit more to it than just wearing a uniform, anyway.

I was just thinking of trying something a bit different.

Oh, I saw the most amazing style the other day, right?

It was this, like, asymmetrical bob, with, like, blue streaks.

OK, maybe not that different,

I was just thinking something a bit more...mature.

And who exactly is this mature look for?

No-one.

You've been reapplying lip gloss all day, right.

Who have you got a crush on?

No-one. It doesn't matter. He's not interested in me, so...

Why wouldn't he be?

He just doesn't see me that way, so...

Maybe you're just, you know, trying a bit too hard

to get his attention. You don't want to come across as desperate.

-I'm not!

-No. No, it's just...

boys, they...

don't notice something if it's around all the time, right?

So take it away - suddenly they can't think about anything else.

Bit like me and chocolate.

You see, it's all about service with a smile,

giving the customer an experience that they're going to enjoy.

Oh, yeah, cos I have the best fun

when I nip to the shop to get a pint of milk.

That ain't the point, Shirl - if you're pleasant to them

then they're going to come back, aren't they?

-Good morning, sir. How may I help you?

-I'm fine.

Could I interest you in some of our finest milk?

I'm not buying anything.

What the hell you doing in here, then?

Alice. All right?

Hey.

I just thought you might want to take Scarlett later?

Er, I thought it was your afternoon off.

Yeah.

Jack's left me in the lurch.

Well, the thing is, Michael, I do have a life of my own, so...

Sorry.

Yeah, yeah.

Good for you! Anyway, you'll never get anywhere with this mystery man

-if you keep letting Michael dump his baby on you.

-Yeah.

-Come on.

Do you want me to have a word with Alfie?

Tell him you're not up for work today?

I'm still capable of pulling a few pints

and if not, I can tell him myself.

Well, I'll come and pick you up later. I'll take you to the clinic.

You don't have to. I was going to call a cab.

Don't be stupid.

I ain't going to let you go through all that on your own again.

Kirsty, I want to be there for you this time.

Yeah, well, I don't want you.

I just want to go through this on my own.

No tears, no fuss.

You sure?

Everything all right?

Yeah.

I was wondering if you had a minute?

Oscar's blocked the sink.

You'd think I'd know how to use a plunger by now.

I mean, it doesn't matter if you're busy.

Don't be daft. I've always got time for you, ain't I?

Want to do it now?

Yeah.

Sharon?

Have you seen Denny's good shoes anywhere?

I swear, the minute they come off his feet,

they vanish into a black hole.

Here they are.

Might have something to do with the fact he can't stand wearing them.

Bet you can't wait to have us out your hair.

You ain't been in it. Not that I've got any.

I've liked having you here.

Well, you'd soon get bored after months of shoes and bras everywhere.

You know, Denny needs stability after everything that's happened.

If he can feel safe in his own home,

then he might start to put this behind him.

What about you?

I've picked myself up so many times before, I'm sure I can do it again.

So, I was thinking, right, a couple of highlights, lowlights.

You know, maybe even a bit of a razor cut.

I was just thinking a few curls or something.

I thought you wanted to look a bit more

mature for this mystery man of yours.

He's no mystery man, he's just...

some guy I met at the park when I was with Scarlett.

Anyway I thought you said I shouldn't be trying too hard.

No, I said you shouldn't let him know you're trying too hard.

You've still got to be ready to make your move

when he does start to notice you.

How do I know when that is?

Right, listen. It took Fats for ever to ask me out, right, but it was

obvious he liked me cos he kept buying me little presents and that.

You've just got to watch out for the signs and show him

you feel the same as well.

Flirt with him, let him know he makes you feel sexy.

Sexy?

Yes. Look, you are way hotter than you think, right?

You've just got to make sure he sees that too.

Look, there's the police. Say hello, Mr Policeman.

Here we go. Stop. Brakes on. You all right?

We've had a great time in the park, chasing the ducks.

Teaching him to scare off the birds already, are you?

I was thinking maybe he could stay with me and have some dinner, yeah?

I was going to take him to Michael's.

I can do it another time.

Can you still cover my shift for me? I need to finish early today.

Since when?

I've got a last-minute dentist appointment.

I thought you wouldn't mind.

No, he's all right with that, ain't you?

Er, yeah. Yeah. Can't have a toothless barmaid, can we?

-See you later, girls.

-See you later.

-Bye.

Kirsty.

You should tell him about the baby, you know. You can't

keep inventing toothache every time you go to the midwives'.

I won't have to. I'm not having it.

Me and Max have decided it ain't the right time.

As long as you're all right with that.

I know it's none of my business but if you need any moral support,

I'll just get Bianca to cover the stall and I'll come with you.

Thanks, I'll be fine.

You can't do this on your own.

I'm not. Max is coming with me.

I don't know. I can't see anything wrong.

Right, well, I thought Oscar might have blocked it.

You know, I keep telling him not to shove his cereal down it

-but he won't listen to me.

-He's a boy, ain't he?

If there's a way to cause trouble, he'll find it.

Don't change much when they grow up, do they?

Seems to be draining fine to me.

So you're just going to leave it, are you?

Well, yeah. I've got a punter coming to look at a motor in a minute.

Can't it wait?

No. I can always pop back later.

-You know, if it's blocking up again.

-When?

I don't know. After work. I'll have a bit more time

-to deal with it properly, won't I?

-Good. Do that.

-Right.

Jack, if you ever pick up your messages, can you ring me

and let me know how I'm supposed to run a gym on my own?

Thank you.

-All right?

-All right.

-Can I have some perfume. Perfume, yeah.

-What brand?

-Don't matter. Whatever's the cheapest.

A couple of months ago she was right.

I wasn't fit to open a packet of biscuits, never mind a restaurant.

I'm better now.

Well, tell Lucy.

I've tried. She's not having it. What she don't realise, right,

is you've got to take risks to succeed in business. That's it.

-That's cos she hasn't got your experience.

-Exactly.

I mean, I opened up my first business before she was even born.

Well, then stop taking orders from a 19-year-old and go

and show her what you can do.

-Denise?

-Yeah?

How much are these? Fruity flavour?

Oi! Don't you want them?

I would take your staff problems over mine today.

Look, Michael, if you're going to try and talk me

into babysitting again, I told you I was busy.

You're right. I have been taking you for granted.

Just because Jack's left me in the lurch

doesn't mean I have to pass it all on to you, so...

You're right. And you've done more than enough for both of us.

Thank you.

It is my job.

Yeah, but there's more than that as well.

So I got you...

something to show my appreciation.

-For me.

-Yeah.

Forbidden Seduction?

It's lovely.

-Thank you.

-Excellent.

Just to...

..you know, show how much you mean to me, I suppose.

Well, I guess I could stay and make you some dinner

and take Scarlett after all.

Cool.

Your hair looks nice.

Thank you.

I've got a surprise.

-We're moving back in.

-With Jack too?

No, darling. I told you this morning Jack's gone away for a while

so it'll just be me and you for now.

Right, and guess what?

You can have your old room back.

We can get some new curtains, new bedding. Whatever you want.

I liked the way it was,

I liked it with Jack here.

SHE CLEARS THROAT

I tried the perfume on.

Do you like it?

It's very nice. Very nice.

Do you think it's...

seductive?

I suppose it is seductive, yeah.

Is that why you got it?

Yeah. Well, I thought it would be a nice gift for you. That's all.

I really like it.

Do you?

-It makes me feel sexy.

-It makes you feel sexy.

-Mm-hm.

Alice, come on, what are you doing?

Seducing you.

You are a very sexy girl but I just bought it as a gift.

I didn't mean to seduce you, so...

-Thanks for that.

-That's all right.

-Thank you.

-Has anyone taken the lease on this place yet?

-Not so far.

Maybe you can help me, then.

Alice? What's wrong?

-Has Michael upset you again?

-It's not Michael, it's me...

Baby.

I'm bored. It's no fun playing on my own.

Here, I'll give you a game.

Go on, budge up.

Right.

Which way do I go?

No, you don't understand. Only Jack knows how to do it.

For the last time, Jack's gone!

Darling, I'm sorry, I know you're upset

but it's not what I wanted either.

Then why did you let him go away?

He didn't want to stay.

No-one ever does.

That is not true.

I'm here, and I promise you I'm never going nowhere, OK?

COMPUTER GAME NOISES

Good afternoon, sir.

I didn't know you had a new job.

Got to pay the rent somehow.

Will that be all?

Not getting anything for Sharon? I've heard she's moved back in.

You should keep up to date with your gossip. She's moved out.

Poor old Phil, eh? No matter what you do,

you always end up with a baby and a meal for one.

I'm just paying an interest in the customers.

You're too interested in Phil.

Hark who's talking. What's your fascination with Ian Beale?

Plenty, actually,

but I can't discuss personal matters on work time.

Is it his charm? His good looks?

Or the smell of cabbage in the morning?

For a start, he's very...

thoughtful and dependable.

You know, he's been there for me.

It's what every girl dreams of -

a dependable prince to sweep her off her feet(!)

He can sweep if he likes. You know, people underestimate Ian, you know,

he's a lot more manly than you'd think.

Great, I'll be in touch.

Here, I come up with a plan of how to get the restaurant.

I've just got to convince my daughter, though.

Well, that shouldn't be a problem. Not with you being so...

manly.

The reason we weren't open is cos we don't have the staff.

We'll be back to normal soon, mate, all right.

DOORBELL

Michael, leave me alone. I don't want to talk.

Alice, Alice, come on.

You're going to have to eventually or we'll have to work in silence.

I'm not coming back. I can't even look at you.

You must think I'm such an idiot.

Well, I don't, actually. I think you're...

lovely.

And sweet.

And if I was 20 years younger...

All right, 10 years younger...

You know, I still wouldn't be good enough for you.

Ask Kat, ask Roxy.

They all ended up wishing I'd had nothing to do with them.

Maybe they just didn't get you.

They did.

I'm very selfish, I'm...

..difficult, I'm extremely moody.

You can do a lot better.

So why don't we just forget it happened?

Draw a line under it.

Scarlett would be lost without you.

So would I.

Denny, play nicely with Oscar, yeah?

I thought you could do with a break from the kids.

Is it not a good time, Tan? Are you expecting someone?

No, no, of course it is. Come through.

You seen Mum? She wanted to talk to you.

Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't see the problem.

With the sink. She wanted me to unblock it.

What? You didn't even tell her about the baby?

Dad, you can't keep bottling it every time you see her!

She does need to know.

I'm not sure she does.

You all right, Alfie? You ain't seen Kirsty, have you?

Oh, I let her go early, didn't I?

She was moping around, putting my customers off their ales.

She was talking about a dentist, her tooth or something.

-Oh, right, yeah, yeah.

-I thought you was going with her?

There's a lot of things I'd do for a bird

but sitting through a dentist's drill ain't one of them.

But we both know that's not where she's really gone.

Don't worry, I won't say anything

but I thought you'd have set off by now.

It's what she wanted. She said she wanted to do it that way.

That's not what she told me. She said you'd be there for her.

If it was me, there's no way I'd want to go through that alone,

no matter what I said.

I didn't do too bad, did I, for my first day?

No, we didn't get any official complaints, no.

Well, there's always tomorrow.

What? I thought you were just going to do a few hours today.

Yeah, but as you took the trouble of teaching me, I thought maybe

you could put in a good word for a more permanent job.

I've been thinking about the emporium.

I told you not to.

I know, Lucy. I know you think we can't afford it but that's where

you're wrong, OK? I've done the calculations and spoken to

a mortgage broker and we can get the amount we need

-if we re-mortgage the George Street flat.

-You're not serious?

You want to put what we've already got at risk

and put ourselves in more debt?

That's what you have to do in business. You have to take risks.

Well, that's not how my business works.

Not getting in debt means a lot to me.

I'm still paying off your last financial collapse.

Yeah, but that was different. I had problems then.

And who's to say you're not going to have them again?

I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to take the risk so can we just drop it?

Here you are. I thought I'd missed you.

I'm on my way.

I ain't got time for deep and meaningfuls. I've got a cab coming.

No, no, cancel that. I'm going to take you.

I told you there's no need.

Well, there is, isn't there?

Babe, we made the decision together, we should see it through together.

You know, that's what being married's all about.

I've got my car keys at the car lot.

I'll get the motor and I'll meet you out front. OK?

What have you done to Alice? I saw her running off in tears earlier.

Can you believe she put it on me?

Put it on you? Are you sure?

She put it on me. She had me up against this stove.

You must have done something to give her the wrong idea.

I bought her a present.

A present to show my appreciation for her efforts, as you advised me to.

She got the wrong end of the stick.

-She was unbuttoning her top, the whole deal.

-Poor thing.

No wonder she's in a state.

Yeah, well, I talked to her and I sorted things out.

-She'll be fine.

-And you think that'll be it? She'll just get over it?

Well, no, she won't just get over it cos it's me.

It's going to take her a while. She'll live.

And you'd never take advantage of a teenage girl

willing to do anything for you?

That's a good point.

But I need a nanny more than a one-night stand.

Right.

Well, I never thought I'd see the day - you turning down a deluded

girl throwing herself at you, for a night in with a baby.

I know. Where did it all go wrong?

He hates me...

No. Denny's a tough little boy. He'll come round.

I keep bringing people into his life and then sending them away.

And every time he resents that a little bit more, you know.

You can't blame yourself for this.

You know, Tan, I wish Jack had told me sooner how he felt.

You know, it still would have hurt but...

not as much.

I know. I know, darling.

I don't think men are capable of being honest, do you?

In fact, we're always the ones who have to confront them, aren't we?

Yeah, I suppose.

Which is why I think we deserve more wine!

-Really? We've still got plenty.

-No.

-You don't have to go out now, babe.

Yeah. I'll be back in five minutes and I'll explain it all.

-Just stay there.

-OK.

< Oscar, I'm just popping out. Be good.

< Take that, Voldemort!

Denny, keep it down!

< Take that!

Denny!

GLASS SMASHING

You all right, Tan?

What are you doing here?

You said you'd come back. I've been waiting. I'm still waiting.

Is this about the sink?

I ain't got time for that now. Kirsty needs me.

What about me?

Tan, I'm trying to be there for you

-but I've got other things to deal with now.

-Like your pregnant wife?

You were never going to tell me, were you?

-She definitely crawled. Didn't you?

-No.

-Definitely.

That was a fall. Don't worry, she'll crawl when she's ready.

-She's very advanced, though. Aren't you?

-Yeah?

-You're very advanced.

-Wonder where she gets that from?

She takes after her father. Yeah.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

That must be the men in white coats come to take you away.

They're late, then. Very late.

Watch her, yeah?

Hello, Michael.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd