04/07/2013 EastEnders


04/07/2013

Similar Content

Browse content similar to 04/07/2013. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

-IAN:

-Jean!

0:00:290:00:30

< Get yourself out of that toilet!

0:00:300:00:33

-BIANCA:

-Right, she says if you put the knife down, she'll come out.

0:00:360:00:40

LOUD CLATTER

0:00:440:00:45

There you go. Enjoy your meal.

0:01:010:01:03

-DENISE:

-Ian! What did we say?

0:01:040:01:07

What did we say?

0:01:080:01:09

Compassion in the workplace - THAT is what we said.

0:01:090:01:12

Now, whatever Jean may or may not have done...

0:01:120:01:15

-it's not that bad.

-It's MY kitchen.

0:01:150:01:17

-You tried to kiss me.

-What?

-I'm in charge.

0:01:170:01:19

Yes, well, that doesn't actually mean you can kiss her, Ian.

0:01:190:01:22

You know, management-wise.

0:01:220:01:24

I'm just collecting for the church...

0:01:240:01:27

He tried to kiss me. I've got witnesses.

0:01:270:01:29

And I'm entitled to reject romance, whatever it says in my horoscope.

0:01:290:01:34

OK, I'm sure there must have been just a bit of a misunderstanding.

0:01:340:01:37

No, no, there wasn't. He wanted to kiss her.

0:01:370:01:39

-Who pulled your chain?

-Get stuffed.

-Ian?

0:01:390:01:41

It was for the souffle, OK?

0:01:420:01:44

Her first ever souffle that didn't turn out

0:01:440:01:46

looking like something a dog's thrown up. OK?

0:01:460:01:49

I was being encouraging, like you said. Like we practised.

0:01:490:01:51

Yes, well, we did say we were going to work on his people skills.

0:01:510:01:54

Oh, is that what you call it?

0:01:540:01:56

Well, I will not be some "bit of comfort", Ian Beale.

0:01:560:02:00

-I mean, it's not my fault you can't meet her demands.

-What?!

0:02:000:02:03

I will not be a part of some sordid love triangle,

0:02:030:02:06

just because YOU are inadequate.

0:02:060:02:08

Oh, get a grip, you dozy, middle-aged fruit-loop!

0:02:080:02:11

I mean, why would I fancy you? Comedy value?

0:02:110:02:14

The only reason you are here is out of sympathy, OK?

0:02:140:02:17

Because I would rather take a vow and join a monastery

0:02:170:02:19

than make a pass at you!

0:02:190:02:21

I think you might need to work on the old compassion angle

0:02:290:02:33

just a little bit.

0:02:330:02:34

Denise, I'm...

0:02:390:02:41

-Hold the fort, will you?

-Hold your own fort, you perv.

0:02:420:02:45

I'm your boss. Either hold the fort or you're fired.

0:02:450:02:47

-You can't do that. I can't even cook.

-You have been nothing but an interfering little troublemaker, OK?

0:02:470:02:51

You're fired. Get your stuff. Get out!

0:02:510:02:54

You're still a perv!

0:02:580:02:59

Sorry.

0:03:120:03:13

There you are.

0:03:510:03:52

Oh! That is, erm... That's very generous of you, sir.

0:03:520:03:56

Git!

0:03:560:03:57

Not at all, darling.

0:03:570:03:59

I've come into a bit of regular cash.

0:04:010:04:04

Well, it's nice to know some people have a conscience.

0:04:050:04:10

It weren't bad, that.

0:04:170:04:19

Bit empty, though, ain't it?

0:04:190:04:20

A business ain't worth nothing if you ain't doing business.

0:04:220:04:26

So you think telling Janine never to come back

0:04:540:04:56

will be the thing that gets her running back to the Square?

0:04:560:04:59

Yeah, admittedly when you vocalise it, it sounds rubbish.

0:04:590:05:02

-Yeah, it sounds mental as, mate.

-Well, they're all mental, ain't they?

0:05:020:05:05

Bet you 50 quid I can do it.

0:05:050:05:06

Look, you want to dig out Amy's travel cot, be my guest.

0:05:060:05:09

And if Janine does come back tonight I'll double your money.

0:05:090:05:11

-Will you, now?

-Yeah.

-Very good.

0:05:110:05:13

-Excuse me.

-Why, what have you done?

0:05:170:05:19

That is just rude.

0:05:290:05:31

Don't torture yourself, mate.

0:05:440:05:45

-See you later.

-See you later.

0:05:460:05:48

You see, I told him when he started this restaurant malarkey

0:06:150:06:20

that mental health issues just don't go away,

0:06:200:06:23

and that undue stress can make the thing a whole lot worse.

0:06:230:06:26

Well, Ian Beale's always been a prat.

0:06:260:06:28

That was the one thing me and Phil agreed on.

0:06:280:06:30

Anyway, he can't sack you

0:06:300:06:31

just because he's been caught with his pants down.

0:06:310:06:33

-Oh, Bee...

-Oh, no. His pants were well and truly on his bottom,

0:06:330:06:36

I can assure you.

0:06:360:06:37

-I'm not bothered.

-Has he paid you what he owes you?

0:06:370:06:39

I don't want to work for some old perv

0:06:390:06:41

who thinks kissing you's a reward, anyway.

0:06:410:06:43

Ian Beale's not that old. Anyway, Yeah, sorry. Course you don't.

0:06:430:06:46

No. Don't worry, I'll get your money back.

0:06:460:06:48

It's all right. It's not me you want to feel sorry for, anyway.

0:06:480:06:50

I'm going to have a bath.

0:06:530:06:54

I suppose it's not entirely Ian's fault...

0:06:560:07:00

I mean, he can't help what's written in the stars, can he?

0:07:000:07:03

It was written in the stars.

0:07:030:07:04

It was written in the Walford Gazette, yesterday's horoscope.

0:07:040:07:07

-Don't read all that rubbish.

-Exactly. That computerised jargon.

0:07:070:07:10

The last time I read it, it said, "Travel is imminent",

0:07:100:07:12

and I ended up nicked and in Suffolk the next afternoon!

0:07:120:07:15

You see, you can't avoid the inevitable, can you?

0:07:150:07:18

All those stars moving around and aligning.

0:07:180:07:21

You should come up on the roof and look through my telescope.

0:07:210:07:24

-There's bound to be an impact.

-That's not so.

0:07:240:07:26

"Be on the lookout for little treats.

0:07:260:07:29

"They could signal romance".

0:07:290:07:30

And Ian gave me a glass of wine.

0:07:320:07:34

And that was a little treat.

0:07:340:07:36

He called it a little treat.

0:07:360:07:38

No, no, I could show you. I kept the newspaper...

0:07:380:07:41

Oh, no, I've left my handbag in the restaurant.

0:07:410:07:45

-Go and get it, then.

-I can't go and get it.

0:07:450:07:48

I haven't told you what it says in today's horoscope, have I?

0:07:480:07:51

Oh!

0:07:530:07:54

I hate these things, they're designed by a sadist.

0:07:550:07:57

Look, even if Janine does come back, it ain't going to get Scarlett staying here.

0:07:570:08:01

Hope springs eternal in the human breast, Jack.

0:08:010:08:04

Well, do you see my kids running round this flat, do you?

0:08:050:08:09

No. No, I get it. I do. Just can't do it.

0:08:090:08:12

Not a stayer, mate, am I? A weekend dad.

0:08:140:08:17

-I'd settle for that, you see.

-Hm?

-Yeah.

0:08:170:08:19

See, I went for the whole family trip once.

0:08:210:08:23

James would be walking now, wouldn't he? Talking just like Tommy.

0:08:240:08:28

Yeah...

0:08:280:08:30

That's the thing, you see. They're messy, kids, aren't they?

0:08:300:08:32

They're noisy. Dependent. Mithering.

0:08:320:08:36

Invariably, they become attached with a horrible mother.

0:08:360:08:39

You did the right thing, you know? Be there at the kick-off,

0:08:390:08:42

get the good bit...

0:08:420:08:43

Keep your head down for the next 18 years.

0:08:430:08:46

-JEAN:

-I don't think we should be doing this.

0:09:410:09:43

I've wrecked my ankle.

0:09:480:09:50

Where's Ian?

0:09:510:09:52

He's probably gone to play hunt the waitress.

0:09:520:09:55

I thought he'd be here, didn't you?

0:09:550:09:57

-Jean, find some candles.

-I don't think we should be doing this.

0:09:570:09:59

Jean, I ain't going to go down the till. I just need a little sit down.

0:09:590:10:03

Don't put the light on! JEAN GASPS

0:10:030:10:04

You'll have half of Walford over here wanting their dinner.

0:10:040:10:08

No, no, no, Shirley.

0:10:080:10:09

Have you not been listening to a single word that I have said?

0:10:090:10:12

"Play with fire and you will get burnt".

0:10:130:10:15

That is what will happen, according to my today's horoscope.

0:10:150:10:18

Put a sock in it, Jean, or I will do it for you.

0:10:180:10:21

And that is what is going to happen, according to yours truly.

0:10:210:10:25

You know what, Jean? Years ago, they'd have burnt you as a witch.

0:10:270:10:31

Superstitious rubbish.

0:10:330:10:34

Jean, how are you going to find your handbag in this light?

0:10:340:10:37

You know what, Shirley Carter?

0:10:370:10:38

When I first met you, I thought you were a lesbian.

0:10:380:10:41

And not a very nice lesbian.

0:10:410:10:42

-Got any paracetamol?

-Yes, in my handbag... Oh...

0:10:430:10:46

How about...a lickle bit of this?

0:10:500:10:53

It's not working.

0:10:590:11:00

Why?

0:11:020:11:03

For me...it's...

0:11:030:11:05

Sorry.

0:11:070:11:08

So you stand me up. Subtle.

0:11:090:11:13

Dinner... In public? It's too fast.

0:11:130:11:16

I wasn't planning on pinning you down over the pasta.

0:11:160:11:19

You know, what public?

0:11:190:11:21

Who's looking?

0:11:210:11:23

Sam, just... Please stop.

0:11:230:11:25

Ain't like I don't know about cold feet, huh?

0:11:250:11:29

It's just...

0:11:300:11:31

OK. Change your mind...

0:11:350:11:38

..you know where I am.

0:11:390:11:40

I miss you.

0:11:520:11:53

You're in my way.

0:12:030:12:04

Yeah, I know.

0:12:050:12:06

TV BLARES

0:12:190:12:21

That's not boxing, is it?

0:12:230:12:25

That's brawling, that's what that is!

0:12:250:12:27

What do you reckon?

0:12:300:12:31

DOOR SLAMS

0:12:330:12:34

BOXING COMMENTARY

0:12:340:12:36

And now we can see.

0:12:460:12:49

Jean, look under the sink...

0:12:490:12:52

You know what, I used to have a neighbour, right,

0:12:520:12:54

and she always kept her handbag under the sink.

0:12:540:12:57

And then we just thought she was a mate of Pat's,

0:12:570:12:59

but Pat just told us she was just some old brass.

0:12:590:13:02

No, that's where I draw the line.

0:13:020:13:04

-What, handbags?

-No, brassering.

-What?

0:13:040:13:07

BIANCA SNIGGERS Brassing. You know what I mean! People that do it for money.

0:13:070:13:10

-Well, unless it's a LOT of money.

-I've left it at home.

0:13:100:13:13

I must have left it at home all along.

0:13:130:13:16

Oh well, never mind. Off we go, then.

0:13:160:13:20

Oh, Jean, why are you so loyal?

0:13:200:13:23

I mean, there's Kat, God love her, and then Alfie,

0:13:230:13:26

he's not related... And now Ian?

0:13:260:13:28

We're not doing any harm, Jean.

0:13:280:13:29

Well, we are stealing.

0:13:290:13:31

-How many hours did you work for Ian Beale last week?

-Erm...

0:13:310:13:34

And how many did he pay you for?

0:13:340:13:36

-Er...

-Do you know what,

0:13:360:13:37

Ian used to pay for IT back in the day, didn't he?

0:13:370:13:40

-No, he didn't!

-Yeah!

0:13:400:13:42

-He did. What about Janine? SHE was a brass.

-Oh, yeah.

0:13:420:13:46

She's had you laying clues round the house

0:14:030:14:06

like the Easter bunny, ain't she? Eh?

0:14:060:14:09

Am I hot or cold?

0:14:090:14:10

No? No cryptic crossword?

0:14:120:14:16

Billy, come on, save us all a world of pain.

0:14:180:14:20

I'll say you've been reticent, tell me when they're coming back.

0:14:200:14:24

Back? Michael, Janine ain't coming back.

0:14:240:14:27

You're lying. She told you to say that.

0:14:270:14:29

Oh, for... Why can't you two just be straight with each other for once?

0:14:290:14:33

She told me I'd been fired.

0:14:330:14:35

Now, I don't know if you know this, Michael,

0:14:350:14:37

but I've got a little one at home, right, relying on my money.

0:14:370:14:40

So by rights, I should be suing you...for...wotsit.

0:14:400:14:44

Unfair wotsit.

0:14:440:14:45

That's very moving, Billy. Back in the room, please.

0:14:450:14:47

HE SIGHS

0:14:470:14:49

Michael...

0:14:490:14:51

Do you want her here?

0:14:510:14:53

Is that why you're asking?

0:14:530:14:55

Because believe me, mate, you'd be saving all of us

0:14:550:14:57

a lot of hassle if you just tried out telling the truth.

0:14:570:15:00

Truth?! The woman doesn't do truth, Billy.

0:15:000:15:03

It brings her out in hives.

0:15:030:15:04

And don't ask such stupid questions.

0:15:040:15:06

Of course I want her back on the Square!

0:15:060:15:08

She's the mother of my child.

0:15:080:15:10

NOW he says.

0:15:100:15:11

-She ain't in.

-What do you mean, she ain't in?

0:15:240:15:26

-Where else is she going to be?

-Listen, plank-man.

0:15:260:15:29

If my sister says she ain't in, she ain't in - you get me?

0:15:290:15:32

-I get you.

-Right.

0:15:320:15:35

One bottle of wine? It's not going to go far, is it?

0:15:350:15:38

I'll make sure Denise gets it.

0:15:390:15:41

Oh, the door's the one with the handle on it.

0:15:430:15:45

Can you tell her I'm sorry?

0:15:450:15:47

Sorry, what was that?

0:15:470:15:49

Sorry for being an idiot or sorry for getting caught out?

0:15:490:15:52

She said, "Sorry for being an idiot or sorry for being caught out?"

0:15:540:15:57

Fine. You want to talk to each other, talk to each other -

0:15:590:16:03

see if that works out.

0:16:030:16:05

Oh, no, no, no, no! "Play with fire and you will get burnt",

0:16:120:16:16

it said it, Shirley, it clearly said it, please!

0:16:160:16:19

How are you going to find your handbag in the dark?

0:16:190:16:22

I know one place you haven't looked for your bag.

0:16:220:16:25

On the staff rack peg thing.

0:16:250:16:26

Oh!

0:16:260:16:28

-SHE SQUEALS

-Throw water on her!

0:16:290:16:32

That is not nice.

0:16:320:16:34

Oh, go take a pill!

0:16:340:16:36

You know, I've had my fill of bad boys, Ian,

0:16:380:16:41

that's why I ch...

0:16:410:16:43

I am so done with being shown up in public.

0:16:450:16:49

If I want to look an idiot, OK,

0:16:490:16:51

I can do that all by myself.

0:16:510:16:52

I was just trying to be a friendly manager like we said.

0:16:520:16:55

Don't you blame me. No, don't you dare... Did I say wink?

0:16:550:16:59

Since when did I say that kissing Jean was a managerial option?

0:16:590:17:03

I didn't kiss Jean, OK?

0:17:030:17:05

She was the one who slapped me. I didn't kiss her!

0:17:050:17:07

Ian, please! Enough with the weasel impersonation!

0:17:070:17:10

OK...

0:17:160:17:18

Let's... Let's just look at taking a break for a while. You and me.

0:17:230:17:30

-Ian?

-See, that's something I don't understand about Ian Beale.

0:17:340:17:38

I mean, how did he manage it? Flabby, cowardly Beale.

0:17:380:17:42

What is it, six wives?

0:17:420:17:43

Five, Four. Five.

0:17:430:17:45

Someone told me one of them was gorgeous.

0:17:450:17:47

Yes, well, if you have lesbian tendencies.

0:17:470:17:50

That was... Mel. That's right. She was. You know what, though?

0:17:500:17:55

He told her that Lucy had cancer to get her to marry him.

0:17:550:17:58

See, that's proper not nice.

0:17:580:18:00

Jean, more wine.

0:18:000:18:02

No. Oh, I don't think we have any more left, so... Oh, well!

0:18:020:18:05

Never mind. Off we go, then.

0:18:050:18:07

No. There's plenty of wine.

0:18:070:18:08

But this... But this is more expensive.

0:18:180:18:23

Shirley!

0:18:230:18:25

I just wanted the restaurant to be a success.

0:18:250:18:28

I needed it to be a success for me, you know.

0:18:290:18:32

My dad was always just, "Do your hours and put your feet up".

0:18:330:18:37

I mean, we didn't have the word "ambition" in our house.

0:18:370:18:40

The rows me and him used to have...

0:18:400:18:42

"Cooking dinner's a girl's job".

0:18:420:18:44

Used to go round my gran's house - my house - and just...

0:18:450:18:48

pour my heart out to her.

0:18:480:18:50

See, I always wanted to be a chef.

0:18:500:18:54

I always wanted to be a success...

0:18:540:18:56

That's what that bottle of brandy's for. That nice one.

0:18:560:18:59

That's when I made my first million turnover...

0:18:590:19:04

I was going to open it up.

0:19:040:19:06

I mean, because I've always been ambitious

0:19:070:19:09

and I've always liked money and I deserve to be a success.

0:19:090:19:13

And I was. Then I wasn't. Then I was...

0:19:140:19:16

Then I REALLY wasn't, was I?

0:19:190:19:20

And then there was you...

0:19:240:19:26

It's all right, I'm not blind... I don't work out or anything.

0:19:280:19:32

-Really(?)

-Really.

0:19:320:19:34

Denise, I've known this was going to happen for ages...

0:19:370:19:43

I mean, Alfie's always been saying to me

0:19:430:19:45

that I was punching above my weight

0:19:450:19:48

-and you were out of my league.

-Oh...

0:19:480:19:50

Well, talks a lot of sense, that Alfie.

0:19:500:19:53

But you were the start.

0:19:540:19:56

You were the one who really got me back on my feet.

0:19:570:20:01

I mean, because I just thought that if...

0:20:020:20:05

Well, then anything was possible, wasn't it? Not just the bad stuff.

0:20:070:20:11

I'll apologise to Jean, even though she overreacted.

0:20:160:20:19

Thank you.

0:20:260:20:28

Ian...

0:20:350:20:37

That's it.

0:20:390:20:40

Break's over.

0:20:440:20:46

Just...

0:20:500:20:51

..stop being such an unpleasant little pranny, will you?

0:20:530:20:57

I promise... I'll try.

0:20:570:21:00

Yeah?

0:21:000:21:02

Yeah.

0:21:020:21:03

I've changed my mind.

0:21:120:21:13

-What?

-Shh! Or I'll change it back again.

0:21:130:21:16

Yes, miss.

0:21:210:21:23

Urgh! I said, if you want to open that bottle,

0:21:230:21:26

you have to go through me first.

0:21:260:21:29

THEY LAUGH

0:21:290:21:30

It is not funny. I'm being serious!

0:21:300:21:33

Look, enough is enough, yeah?

0:21:330:21:36

That's Ian's very special brandy.

0:21:360:21:38

"Ian's very special brandy!"

0:21:380:21:42

It's not Ian that's got the crush, is it, eh, Jean?

0:21:440:21:47

I think it's the other way round.

0:21:470:21:49

Shirley Carter! You are a being a...drunken bully!

0:21:500:21:56

Now... Please, stop being a bully!

0:21:560:22:00

All right, ladies, come on. Enough's enough. Let's call it a night, eh?

0:22:000:22:04

-I don't even know how I ended up here in the first place...

-ME!

0:22:040:22:07

Me.

0:22:100:22:11

It's not Ian Beale that lives in one room in a bed and breakfast,

0:22:130:22:18

is it, eh, Jean?

0:22:180:22:19

It's not Ian Beale that gets up every morning to a different

0:22:210:22:24

wonky breakfast table in a room full of strangers, is it, eh, Jean?

0:22:240:22:28

I don't think that's got anything to do with this...

0:22:280:22:30

It's not Ian Beale that falls asleep listening

0:22:300:22:34

from the room next door, God knows who, doing God knows what.

0:22:340:22:38

-Is it, eh, Jean?

-Well, it's hardly Ian's fault, is it?

0:22:380:22:41

Yes.

0:22:410:22:42

Yes, it is...

0:22:420:22:44

..because he knew.

0:22:460:22:48

He knew...and he stood back.

0:22:500:22:54

And he watched his brother go off the rails.

0:22:550:22:57

And he knew and he did nothing about it!

0:22:570:23:00

-Ben?

-Who told you that?

0:23:000:23:03

All makes sense now. All makes sense.

0:23:030:23:07

He knew and he watched Ben walk about guilty, and he did nothing.

0:23:070:23:13

And he made me look like a mug, Jean.

0:23:140:23:17

You actually KNOW this?

0:23:170:23:19

Then when it all comes out, poor little Ian Beale has a breakdown...

0:23:190:23:24

Why do you think he had the breakdown, eh, Jean?

0:23:260:23:29

And he walks about with a little woolly hat on for half an hour,

0:23:290:23:32

and then forgets about it!

0:23:320:23:33

And do you know what?

0:23:330:23:35

He lands on his feet... Again!

0:23:370:23:40

And it's me - it's me stuck in one room in a B&B, potless.

0:23:410:23:48

And what about Hev? She deserved a better life than that.

0:23:510:23:56

Hev should be here, Jean.

0:23:590:24:01

He don't deserve any of this.

0:24:030:24:06

You know what... I think...

0:24:060:24:09

..you should open that rotten brandy!

0:24:110:24:13

I am going to open that rotten brandy!

0:24:130:24:15

You know what, Jean? You might have left it at home,

0:24:210:24:23

I done that once with Morgan.

0:24:230:24:25

-Oh! Is this it?

-Yes! My bag!

0:24:300:24:32

THEY CHEER

0:24:320:24:35

Always put your handbag in the bin!

0:24:350:24:37

I only put rubbish in my bin.

0:24:370:24:38

-Do you?

-LOUD CRASH

0:24:380:24:40

Well, it was always going to be a long shot,

0:24:440:24:47

this bluff and double bluff stuff.

0:24:470:24:49

What is it with you and that cleaning at 11.10 at night?

0:24:490:24:51

It's weirding me out.

0:24:510:24:53

Well, Janine's got cash coming out her ears, ain't she?

0:24:530:24:56

You say insomnia, I say it's a weird troubled mind.

0:24:560:24:59

Sinister, rubber glove, fetish-type deal.

0:24:590:25:02

Of all the places in the world,

0:25:020:25:04

why's Janine going to come back here, eh?

0:25:040:25:06

Because she can't help herself.

0:25:090:25:11

Can you bring her in?

0:25:190:25:20

RECORDING: 'Don't ask such stupid questions.

0:25:310:25:33

'Of course I want her back on the Square. 'She's the mother of my child.'

0:25:330:25:36

-Told you.

-You're forgiven.

0:25:400:25:43

So, I haven't lost my job?

0:25:440:25:46

Listen carefully, Billy.

0:25:460:25:47

You had lost your job, and now you haven't lost your job.

0:25:470:25:51

Thank you.

0:25:510:25:53

Later.

0:25:530:25:54

ALL SCREAM

0:26:160:26:17

Oh, get a grip, will you, Jean?

0:26:220:26:24

COUGHING

0:26:240:26:26

Oh, Shirl, I thought you said not to turn the light on...

0:26:260:26:29

I can't get caught in here!

0:26:290:26:30

-Leave your keys.

-I don't know where I've left the keys.

0:26:300:26:33

And anyway, we can't leave it like this.

0:26:330:26:35

Then you stay and clean up and explain,

0:26:350:26:37

but don't call us as witnesses!

0:26:370:26:39

It's not that bad.

0:26:390:26:41

There's not that much damage, is there?

0:26:410:26:43

THEY SCREAM

0:26:480:26:51

THEY LAUGH

0:26:510:26:53

JEAN WAILS

0:26:530:26:56

FIRE ALARM TRILLS

0:26:570:27:00

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:010:28:04

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS