19/09/2013 EastEnders

Now...maybe?

The more you go on about it, the less I want to do it.

When I'm ready, all right?

Oi, what you doing?!

Chop chop! Let's get your muscles in gear, see what you're made of!

-Where's AJ?

-Oi, AJ! Come here, man.

HE HUMS

-Oi! Health and safety!

-Call yourself a goalkeeper?

-No, no, I'm a striker!

-You'll play where I tell you to play.

-Since when?

-Since I became your answer to Arsene Wenger.

Problem?

Get your overalls off, let's go.

My kit's in my house and I've got to finish off here.

-Liven up, let's go. Come on!

-Hold on.

AJ, what, am I just going to finish this on my own then?

He wriggles past one, wriggles past another, takes it into the box...

That is a goalkeeper if ever I saw one...

Oh! On the head, son!

Where were you?

What is it about football that turns grown men into morons?

Maybe you should try it, it might cheer you up.

Alice will appreciate that.

Oi, where's the ball?

I'm trying to get Tam to go training.

He'd make a good goalpost.

Just get in there and warm up, will you?

Haven't see a ball come up here, have you?

Uh, no, no, sorry.

Danny. Blimey, what happened here?

-I dunno.

-Janine's going to love that.

Do you need a hand or anything?

No, no, Joey said he'd take care of it.

All right, Billy?

Come on, babe!

Right, so it's a 24-hour emergency service

apart from the one hour when I've got an emergency,

is that what you're saying, yeah?

Nah, mate, you can forget it.

-Hey.

-All right.

Has anything been taken?

Nah, don't think so. I just can't believe...

-What kind of person even does something like that?

-I don't know.

-I'm running out of people to phone here now.

-Well, keep trying.

I'm going to be in the office, I don't want to be disturbed.

PHONE BEEPS

Well?

Well, what?

Well, come on. I thought you had something important to tell me.

-Did I?

-Oh, Carl!

Guess what? I've ordered us both a steak - medium rare.

-You must think I'm a complete fool.

-Whoa, whoa...

I agreed to one glass of wine because you were upset

and you needed to talk.

-Yeah, I am upset. I am upset.

-Yeah.

-I'm upset about us.

There might've been a little bit of deception involved

because you never give me a chance.

I've given you hundreds of chances.

What am I supposed to do?

Just watch you walk by and ignore you?

-Come on, have an olive.

-I don't like olives.

Olives are deeply misunderstood.

Acquired taste.

Bitter at first but once you start...

they get very addictive.

Don't smile, cos I don't want to think

you're not as mad at me as you say you are.

Look, I've ordered the dinner, it's only going to go to waste.

Please?

-Thanks.

-I'd better call Abi and let her know.

Nah, don't do that. Don't chase after her like you're her mum or something.

-She won't appreciate it.

-Yeah.

So what do you do at these counselling sessions then?

I moan and she pretends to listen.

I moan some more and then I go home.

Have you seen my keys?

Do...

Do you talk about Dad at all?

-I have done, yeah.

-What do you say?

PHONE RINGS

Hold on.

Hello.

Um...

Hang on.

It's Joey, he wants to know if we know any emergency joiners?

There's always Dexter's old man.

Oh, erm...

I'm just on my way to counselling.

About an hour? Hour and a half? Why?

Oh, all right, see you later.

He wants to come round.

So, go on then, what do you say about Dad?

Oh, just that he's...

He is a wonderful man in every conceivable way.

So what are we going to do about this solicitor's bill then?

-I'm going to sort it, Abi.

-Well, how?

-See you later.

Are you all right?

I will be. Just...

Look.

How would it be if I told him?

You're still...doing it!

Don't raise your voice at me, yeah? It's a bit aggressive.

Hang on a minute.

Hold on, what's going on in here? Is everything all right?

Yeah, it's fine.

Look, Sam, it's Joey. Someone's kicked in the door at the club

and he needs someone to go and fix it, like, now.

All right, I'm passing him over, yeah, Joe?

-Who is it again?

-Joey.

Hi, Joey, Sam here, what's the problem?

Can you lay the table, please?

I can't, I've got football training, Mum.

Sorry, I completely forgot.

It's all right, I'll slap it in the microwave when I come back, yeah.

OK, I'll be right there, yeah.

Who turns their phone off anyway?

Problems?

Yes, Michael - Kirsty.

It's my one night off this week and she knows that.

I don't really know what it's got to do with you though.

-Still no luck?

-No, I could kill her.

That's not very t'ai chi, is it?

-T'ai chi?

-Yeah, yeah, she's getting into a touch of the old Yin and Yang,

ain't that right, Rox?

I tell you what, Alfie, I could take Kirsty's Yin

and I could Yang it right up her...

Whoa, calm down, let me go and see if Tracey's free.

T'ai chi, no less.

Huh?

Never had you down as the martial arts type, Roxy.

No? Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?

-PHONE RINGS

-Clearly.

-Your phone's ringing.

-I know.

-You going to answer it?

-Excuse me.

-You're excused.

I thought we said half five.

Kirsty's let me down. Alfie's trying to sort something out.

Look, I will be with you as soon as I can, OK?

I've left the fire escape doors open

so you can sneak in the back without being seen.

Yeah, OK, I'll see you soon.

-Furtive, to say the least.

-KAT:

-All right?

Just came to tell you that I spoke to Jean.

Or rather she spoke to me and I just listened.

So, is she all right?

You should be asking if Ollie's all right!

She was saying that she cooked him "sausage surprise"

-for his dinner last night.

-Lovely.

Alfie, did you manage to get hold of Tracey?

Yes, darling, I just spoke to her but apparently it's her son's birthday.

What's the matter?

It's just Rox wants to go and do this t'ai chi malarkey,

only Kirsty's let us down.

What, tonight?

I don't mind doing a shift...

Nah, it's all right, I'm Superman, I can cope. I'll be fine.

-All right, going to get us a drink then?

-Go on then.

Thank you for that, I'll see you later - don't know what time.

-That's all right, see you later.

-See you later.

So, same time next week?

Yeah, I'll see you then.

I'll be with you in two minutes.

-You all right?

-I thought you'd packed it in.

Just cos you ain't been here the last couple of times.

Yeah, it's a long story.

You all right?

What's happened?

Are you going to be in a rush after you've finished here?

Why?

I was going to grab a bite to eat in that cafe round the corner.

I could hang around if you were going to join me.

Why eat in a cafe when you could go home and eat?

That's the long story.

Oh.

Right, OK...

Well, the only problem is I've sort of said

-I'll meet someone else later.

-So meet me instead.

If you can't make it, send me a text.

My number's on there.

Lauren?

Yeah, it's just that there's something going off at the club.

Well, it's to do with this Carl geezer,

-he's a right nasty character...

-Billy, you joining us?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got to go, I'll call you later.

Message from Joey - he's not going to be here until next week.

Fine. Yes, Jay?

How come, all of a sudden, we've got a coach?

Right, well, some of you may or may not know,

I've arranged a football match for the end of the month.

It's to play against a gym in Canning Town.

It's all in aid of a good cause.

It's to help Mrs Branning raise money for the church roof.

Now, we've already got sponsorship from Lola's boss at Beauty.

But we're looking for some more.

So...

that being said, how do you want to be?

-Useless like Spurs?

-What?

Or top four like Arsenal?

Exactly, that's what I thought.

So that's why you need a coach. Does that answer your question, Jay?

-Thank you very much.

-Right, I'll start again.

Five things we're going to concentrate on.

Speed, strength, stamina...

and teamwork.

That's only four things.

-There's always one smart aleck, ain't there, eh?

-I'm just...saying.

The fifth thing is self-discipline.

That means cutting out the booze, cutting out the fags,

cutting out the junk food.

And none of this staying out all night, all right?

And the main thing is punctuality.

None of this "sorry I didn't get on the end of that cross, boss,

"but I was brushing my hair."

If AJ never left me to lock up on my own, I'd have been here.

Oh, "If AJ, if AJ." He knew it started at half past five.

-Yeah, and what if Phil turned up, bruv?

-Health and safety!

-Oi, oi, shush, shush, shush, one voice, listen to our coach.

-Creep.

-What'd she call me?

-I think she called you a creep, Billy.

Liam fancies Cindy, don't he?

All right, children!

-Quiet down! AJ.

-How come there's girls here?

Excuse me, cos he made me come! You got a problem with girls, yeah?

OK, enough, come on, let's get this started, shall we?

-Drop down and give me ten. Fats?

-Ten what?

Ten press-ups, Fats!

Come on, get down now.

Lola? Come on. Ten press-ups. Let's have it.

No, no, no, Pops said nothing about any of this up and down stuff.

Lola, do it! Come on, ten press-ups.

Fats, I said press-ups, it's not Swan Lake.

-Keep your back straight.

-My back is straight, boss!

Billy, keep your head down. Nose to the floor!

This is pathetic. Right, OK...

Come on, look, all right, I've seen enough.

Forget it. Come on, get up, on your feet.

Right, Cindy, Jay, Liam, Dex and Peter

go on, go and give me four laps round the park and come back in here.

Go on, look lively.

-See you later.

-Bye!

Right, as for you four...

you're about to learn what hard work really is.

-Laters.

-Come on, where you going?

I thought you might be getting thirsty.

What?

If I get thirsty, I'll get myself a drink, all right?

Why are you doing this to yourself?

It's like you're trying to make yourself ill.

What time will you be finished?

-The longer you stay here, the longer I'll be.

-Fine!

What's the matter with them?

Don't worry about it, come on, let's go.

What on earth is so funny?

You keep looking at that door and laughing.

Nah, I'm just...

happy to be with you.

So what makes you think it's Carl?

He's sitting outside Ian's restaurant now, smirking.

Didn't you see him?

Nope, I came in the back door like you told me to.

Have you spoke to Phil? You told him?

Forget about the door, it's being fixed.

And I'll worry about Carl in the morning.

-You ready?

-Yeah.

One, two, three. Cheers.

Oh.

-I can't believe we're doing this!

-I know.

OK.

Guess where I am tonight. You're going to love it.

Where are you tonight?

I am at...t'ai chi.

-That's not t'ai chi, that's karate.

-It is t'ai chi!

That is karate.

-Don't hit me!

-You're going to have to get a better alibi than that.

-That was quite hard!

-No, it wasn't.

So...

when do I fall in love with you?

I'm sorry?

I've been doing my homework.

Reading up on all this and it's transference, right?

I see you as a mother figure.

Or the mother I never had...

and then I fall in love with you?

Transference can indeed play a part

in the client/counsellor relationship.

But it certainly isn't mandatory.

All right, well, let's just say I do fall in love with you.

-Do you get to fall in love with me as well?

-Of course not.

Or do you just pretend?

Who are we talking about now?

Me, or your mother?

Ah, I see what you did there.

Classy.

It's a serious question.

We've talked before about the lack of trust you have in your parents...

Lauren?

Do you know why I drink?

Go on.

So that I don't have to deal with stuff like this.

Do you want a drink now?

Yes.

I appreciate it's hard...

..having to delve into all these...

painful feelings.

You know, when I was little...

I had a friend called Mandy

and I used to go round her house all the time.

And her mum and dad were just...

great.

So normal.

And I used to say to myself,

"Why am I so unlucky?

"Why can't I have a mum and dad that are normal?"

Do you still feel that way?

What do you think?

When we've been let down as children...

..the temptation is always

to look for someone who'll fill that gap.

Someone who'll give us the thing that we didn't have.

Someone we CAN trust.

That's where the notion of transference comes from.

I'd be perfectly happy to explore that if you want.

Lauren?

Go on, I'm listening.

-KAT:

-Oi, Tamwar, over here!

Me and my housemate, we're just bonding.

So you don't want a drink then?

-I'd love one. Vodka and tonic, please.

-Alice?

No, I'm all right, thank you.

We was wondering why you're not in the football team.

-Because I hate football, possibly?

-That's a shame.

We was looking forward to seeing you in a pair of shorts.

-I said nothing of the sort.

-Yes, you did.

I'll get the drinks.

All right, mate, what can I get you?

Vodka and tonic and a lemonade.

All right?

Yeah.

Not going football training then?

No... I wish people would stop going on about it.

-I don't like football, I never have, I never will.

-Don't you?

I'm going to go check it out actually.

Sounds quite interesting, you should consider it.

They've already got a couple of girls on the team...

See you later.

LAUGHTER

-What?

-I didn't say anything.

Right, OK, that's enough for today.

Mate, there has to be easier ways of killing yourself.

I'm 54 years old.

If I can do this, anyone can.

Fats, I think you should stick to table football, yeah.

I am never, ever doing that again, I tell you.

What's wrong?

My mum and dad.

They've only been back together a couple of months

-and now they're just...

-They've split up?

And the point of THIS, Daniel, is...?

OK, before you hit the showers,

there's something I want to show you.

This...

will be our new kit.

Now, I want you to wear it wherever you go.

That's down the pub, if you're out and about, wherever.

It arrives in a couple of weeks.

That, Michael, is called advertising.

Yeah? With this bunch of...?

Anything interesting?

Oh, hiya.

Can I get you something?

Yeah, I'll have a cup of tea.

Not that I want one,

-but what else are we supposed to drink?

-Yeah.

Excuse me, can I get another cup of tea over here

when you're ready, please?

So is this part of the long story?

What happened to your wedding ring?

I paid 200 quid for this.

How much do you reckon it's worth now?

-Graceful!

-Graceful.

-Yes, you've got to be graceful.

I'm not graceful, you're the one that took the ballet.

-And go with the flow!

-Go with the flow?

If I go with the flow, I'm going to fall on the floor.

Just concentrate, concentrate on your breathing.

Breathing is the only thing I know how to do on my own.

-Why are you making life difficult for me?

-And now go back into...

-the Swimming Dragon.

-Do you know what, forget this.

I'm not a dragon and I can't swim, can I? So..

That's enough, anyway, certainly enough to be fooling Alfie.

What? What have I said?

Oh, nothing, I just...

I promised myself at the beginning, you know,

that I would never cheat on him.

And yet here I am.

-It's hardly the same, is it?

-He won't see it like that, Ron.

-Look, Rox, if this is causing you too much trouble...

-No, no.

What am I supposed to do, you know?

I know I made him a promise.

But, what, am I supposed to avoid you? You're living so close.

What about if you just tell him?

-Rox?

-If I told him, it'd just give him all the excuse he needs.

That's why this has got to stay secret.

What do you mean, "Give him all the excuse he needs"?

Kat. Kat, she's always sniffing around, she's there right now.

She was there when I left.

-Do I need to say more?

-Oh, Rox...

You got any mints? My breath's going to stink.

There are two types of bender for me, right?

There's the fun one - the one where you go out, you have a laugh,

you make an idiot of yourself and you fall over.

And then there's the not-fun one.

The guilt-induced, self-loathing one that comes after.

Where you end up wishing you'd never been born.

Which one did you have?

Both, of course.

You can't have one without the other.

I don't even know why I'm laughing.

So, where are you staying now then?

At a B & B off the Whitechapel Road.

Just me and the cockroaches.

We watch TV together.

Only they're for ever stealing the remote.

You know, just because she chucked you out,

it don't make you special, you know?

When did I say that?

There's not a single married couple that I know that ain't split up.

Except for maybe my Grandma Dot, but she got married

when she was like, 100 anyway, so that doesn't really count.

So you're not a big believer in marriage then?

I never said that.

If I'm not married at least three or four times

by the time I'm 30,

I'm going to feel like I'm really letting myself down.

Can I come to the weddings?

You can be bridesmaid.

You're funny, you.

Right, anyway...

I should get going.

Well, thanks for making me laugh.

-It's appreciated.

-It's all right.

I'll be sending you an invoice.

Maybe we could do this again sometime?

Yeah.

-Yeah, why not?

-You've got my number, right?

I'll leave it up to you then.

Needs a brand-new frame, really,

but that should keep you going till then.

How much do I owe you?

Just 50 quid.

20, 40...

-There you go. 50.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

All right, Ronnie?

Look, I don't know what you're up to,

but whatever it is, I don't like it.

Thanks for the scoff.

Sadly, you're already turning my stomach.

Hey, where you going?

Give that to your boss, he'll sort it.

Kirsty, where you going?

Oi!

You all right?

Hey, how was training?

Didn't touch a ball the whole time.

It was just press-ups and stuff.

Well, I'll play with you, what do you say?

Are you serious?

You're looking at the Lionel Messi of Albert Square.

Sure you don't mean Lionel Ritchie?

You OK?

Look, is everything all right between you and my mum?

Yeah...

course.

Don't be silly.

We're solid, we love each other.

All right, come on, then!

Here she is! All right? How did you get on with t'ai chi then?

Good, I learnt loads of new moves.

OK, come on. Give us a move, let me see this.

-No.

-Yes, come on, what did you learn?

Swimming Dragon.

How does that go then? Swimming Dragon.

Eh, Swimming Dragon, what else?

-Playing the Lute.

-Go on, what's Playing the Lute?

Well, before you start learning a new instrument,

some glasses outside need collecting, all right, sweetheart.

What were you guys laughing about earlier?

I think I've had enough. Can we go?

Where?

Mine?

What for?

I don't know.

What do girlfriends do with their boyfriends on an evening?

Kirsty, I never said that, I never said...

Oi, don't walk away from someone who's just bought you a slap-up meal.

Do you ever listen to yourself?

Oi! Where were you tonight?

-Oh, no! What day is it?

-We're having a conversation.

-I left you about six messages on your phone.

-What?

I never switched this off.

Oh, very convenient, Kirsty.

-Did you do this?

-I don't know what you're talking about.

Roxy, wait!

Cheers, mate.

Sam, it's your turn in goal now, yeah.

Sam?

Sam, you all right? Sam?

Sam? Sam?

Sa...? Mum! Mum!

So what's happened to her then?

I don't know, she should've been back ages ago.

I'd better get off anyway, you know.

Club opens in a half-hour.

Well, er, finish what you were saying first.

-What? What was I saying?

-About your dad.

Oh, yeah, no, you just learn to cut them off, you know.

Stop thinking about him all the time.

I wish I could do that.

Come here, come here. Don't cry.

Dexter's dad's just collapsed on the street.

I don't think there's much to see, Ava was just walking him inside.

Well, I'll give him a ring and make sure he's OK.

-What's wrong with her?

-What do you think?

Well, yeah, I know...

but I mean, what set her off?

We were just talking, you know.

How was counselling? All right?

-Yeah, same old, same old.

-Yeah? What took you so long?

Sorry, I just got...

I just got talking to one of the other people there.

Look, Lauren, are we all right?

Yeah.

Why wouldn't we be?

Abs, Abs, Abs, it's really not a good time right now, you know?

Yes, he's fine, he's fine.

I'll ring you back, yeah?

Dexter, I think you need to call an ambulance.

I don't want no ambulance!

I told you about over-exerting yourself.

And now look what's happened.

The last thing I need is three hours in A & E.

Yeah, but they at least need to check you out.

What are they going to tell me that I don't already know?

-Is this to do with the diabetes then?

-Tell him, Sam.

The diabetes has damaged his kidneys.

So he's going to need a transplant.

Urgently.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd