20/01/2014 EastEnders

Lauren... Lauren! What is this all about?

KNOCKING

-Oi! What's your problem?

-You! You're my problem!

-What, you proud of yourself, are you?!

-Get your hands off me!

-It's over this time, for good.

-Dad, let him go!

I told you, didn't I? I told you to end it.

-And I told you, it's over! Finished!

-Oh, right.

So now she's pregnant, you're going to walk away, are you?

-What? You're pregnant?

-No.

-Don't give it all that, Lauren.

-Don't lie, all right?!

-I'm not lying and I'm not pregnant!

Max...

Bella, sweetheart, go to your room.

Bella!

I'll take her, shall I?

(Come on, darling.)

-Are you OK?

-Oi, what you worried about him for?

-You need to go. Now.

-Oh, do I? I ain't going anywhere,

not till I get some answers.

-Answers to what?

-How long you two have been making a mug out of me?

What does it matter? We're not together any more.

-And I'm supposed to believe that?

-Believe what you like. Just go.

No. I told you, didn't I? I told you what would happen.

-And I told you that Sadie would find out.

-Dad, can we just go?

-Why would I want to go? I ain't finished yet.

-Dad, it is over.

I tell you what, give me one good reason

I shouldn't knock you out now.

I didn't even know Lauren was seeing anyone.

-I'm not quite sure that's her test.

-Well, as long as it ain't yours,

that's all that matters, eh? That's all that we need.

Why? What's the matter?

Nothing.

Everything's fine.

It was a mistake, a huge mistake.

Where's Bella?

She's upstairs.

You cheated on me...

..with her?

I'm sorry.

I think you should go.

Sadie, I...

Has Bella had her dinner?

No.

I'll do it.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

-Why are you lying?

-Nothing's wrong, Whit.

-Just leave it.

-I'm not stupid!

I know there's something wrong.

The last couple of days, all them whispered conversations,

awkward looks at each other.

Carol's gone completely over the top about this pregnancy thing.

Has it got something to do with Carol?

Why won't you tell me?

SHE SIGHS

She's got breast cancer.

Oh.

How long have you known?

-We found out last week, but didn't want to upset you.

-How bad is it?

Dunno.

They're doing some more tests this week, to...

..just to make sure that it hasn't spread.

She might have to have a mastectomy.

Poor Carol.

-The kids are going to be upset.

-That's why we didn't tell them.

-They've got a right to know.

-Whit, they're too young...

Liam's not. He's not a kid.

Whit! No, just...just wait.

Let's wait until we know what's happening.

We'll just keep it between us.

(Come on.)

That is well buff. You should try bulking up a bit.

Yes, well, it's not all about muscles, is it?

-Who told you that?

-She's right.

Girls don't want some stick insect, do they, Cindy?

No. But, you know, more than one brain cell is also a bonus.

Laters, losers.

You're wasting your time with her. You could do a lot better.

Right, I'm off, then.

You're going?!

Yeah, well, it ain't going to bite, is it?

What am I supposed to do with it?!

Unless you've got Damien Hirst's number, chop it up.

-On my own?

-Oh, no, no, no.

I've got to get round Bianca's, for my tea.

Give us a hand, you can take a couple of nice lamb chops home.

THEY LAUGH

Scalpel.

There you go.

SHE LAUGHS

SCRAPING

Are we going to talk?

Sadie.

Bella!

I'm making your favourite tonight, sausage and mash.

Won't be long.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Can I have spaghetti on toast, instead?

But sausage and mash is your favourite.

It's OK. I can rustle up a special little order, for this one.

Did you see the look on Sadie's face? She must be going mental.

Are you happy with yourself, Dad?!

I'm sorry, Lauren. I thought you were pregnant.

And you couldn't just talk to me like any normal parent?!

-What have you done?!

-No, excuse me, Lauren.

You're the one who lied to me. You told me it was over.

Why would I tell you the truth about anything?!

Well done, Carol(!)

If you hadn't jumped the gun, none of this would have happened.

I was just trying to help.

Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.

Look, when she's calmed down, talk to her.

No, listen to her.

We need to rethink the decor, go more upmarket.

This is Walford. We don't do upmarket.

We need to think bigger - neon lights, an aluminium-clad bar,

an open kitchen. We could go gastro.

Why don't you ring Gordon Ramsay, see if he's free(?)

Actually, some decent food, that's a good idea.

I just don't want nothing too poncey.

-Why don't you go for the pink pound?

-Yeah, and while you're doing it,

-why don't you change the name of the place?

-There's an idea!

Yeah, you could call it The Prince Johnny.

Now, you're talking. I always wanted my name in lights.

We go with the refurb we agreed. Bar or no bar, we are stretched.

I've still got to try to raise some money to sort this rising damp.

I suppose we'll still have enough money for that big,

-flatscreen telly of yours?

-Oi, that's a good investment.

-That's going to bring the punters in.

-But what kind of punters, though?

If we're that strapped for cash, we could always ask your dad.

When hell freezes over.

I don't really think that's your decision to make.

No. No, we do it on the cheap.

If you want to save money,

you could always ask Wayne to sort the rising damp.

Look what Daddy's got. You should have seen Max's face.

I'm the new partner in the car lot.

-How did that happen?

-Well, it's simple, really.

I persuaded Roxy to sell me the freehold.

I also own 50% of the shares, anyway, which technically makes

Max and I partners, but because I own the land...

All right - boring, boring! Just tell me who's boss.

-I am.

-Yes!

No more Branning Brothers nonsense, Oh, no. No. Deals On Wheels,

just like the old days.

A classy new look, a new flash range of motors on order.

Whay!

-Poor old Max, he never stood a chance.

-Does nothing matter to you?

-Eh?

-This point-scoring off Max.

Don't you think we should be pulling together a little bit on this?

She knows.

Whitney, the only reason I wanted to get the car lot

was to give Carol some security.

-Yeah, right.

-Cos there's nothing in it for you, is there(?)

SHE SOBS

Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it.

I told you before that she ain't worth it, didn't I?

-What's the matter with you?

-He's got woman troubles.

-Shut up.

-Oh, yeah? Woman troubles?

-What's that about then?

-It's nothing.

Liam, if there's something you want to talk about, you can...

Well, look, like it's going to help?! Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Thank you very much.

So why don't you tell me why I should give my hard-earned cash

to that toerag of an ex of yours?

Because he's good and I reckon he'd do it at mate's rates.

Maybe even cheaper.

And why would he do that?

Because he could probably do with the work

and he'd want to do you a favour.

You're still seeing him, aren't you?

No!

Light blue touch-paper and retreat to a safe distance.

-You've been seeing him behind our backs!

-What's the problem?

-Wayne's a good-for-nothing user...

-He's a decent bloke.

..who will break your heart again and again. Ain't that right, Mick?

Tell you what. Tell Wayne to get himself round here

and he can give me a quote on that bit of work.

You are joking!

Well if she's serious about him, I think we should get to know him a bit better, don't you?

All right.

# Old MacDonald had a farm ee-i-ee-i-o

# And on that farm he had a sheep ee-i-ee-i-o... #

-With a baa baa...

-..here.

-A baa baa...

-..there.

-Baa!

-Everywhere a baa baa.

-BOTH:

-# Old MacDonald had a farm ee-i-ee-i-o. #

THEY CHUCKLE

Oh, mate, I've got to go.

What, like that?! You look very Sweeny Todd.

Why thank you, Miss Lovett.

-Go on, whip it off. You can borrow one of Alfie's.

-Eh?

-Oh, I see, that's your game is it?

-And what's that?

Inviting men round your house

under the illusion they're going to be cutting up farmyard animals

when really you just want to see a semi-naked man in the kitchen. Is that right?

Don't flatter yourself. I'm a one-man woman.

Yeah, and I am a one-woman man.

Right, glad we got that straight. Now, get your kit off.

You can't give me the silent treatment for ever.

What else is there to say?

I need to explain. It's not what you think.

(You disgust me.)

Bella, darling, why don't you go upstairs

and get yourself ready for bed?

But it's early.

Just go and get ready for bed!

Sorry, um... Sorry, darling.

Why don't you go upstairs, get yourself ready for bed

and I'll come up and tuck you in?

-I can do that.

-No. I'LL do it!

Is everything OK?

Yeah. Everything's fine. Now off you go.

We need to sort this out.

I'll make us some coffee, shall I?

And we're chopping away at it.

And then Kat, she's up to her ears in sheep's whatsits.

-It was hilarious.

-Really funny(!) More important than

being here on time with everything that's going on?!

I was just helping out a mate, weren't I?

Look, I'm sorry. I just lost track of time.

I'm here now, aren't I?

Where's Nana Carol?

She'll be here. Come on, sit down, eat.

Us grown ups have got this table booked after you lot.

Who wants orange juice?

-Me, please.

-Nice shirt, Dad.

Yeah, it's a long story.

-All right, Terry, there's some bubbly there if you want to help yourself.

-Oh. Thanks.

Right, well this is nice, innit, all the family together?

Except Nana Carol. Thank you.

-Liam, eat your food.

-Have we got any pasta?

-Pasta?

-Yeah. You know, protein.

Pasta's a carbohydrate.

-All right, whatever. I just read it's good for you.

-Yeah if you want to bulk up.

-What's brought all this on?

-No reason.

-Nothing to do with Cindy then, no?

-No!

-She's into muscle men.

-It's got nothing to do with her! BIANCA:

-Where have you been?

-I've been at Max's.

-Everything OK?

-Not really.

-Carol?

-No thanks. It's a long story.

-Must be a night for them.

But one thing's for sure. That pregnancy test wasn't Lauren's.

-Whose is it, then?

-I don't know.

It was mine.

What are you doing up, young lady?

Are you angry with me?

No, of course not. Why would I be angry with you?

Because of what I saw.

Are you OK?

She just stared at me.

Poor little innocent Bella.

Well, she's not so innocent now, is she?

Well, maybe it's for the best, Lauren.

She finds out now what sort of bloke her dad is.

What? Like I did?

Cos I know exactly how she feels. Cos I was her once.

Clinging on to my mum because of what I'd just walked in on.

Remember what you did when I caught you at it?

Lauren, why are you dragging all this up?

Because I did exactly the same thing when Bella caught us.

I told her to keep quiet. I told her not to say anything.

I said that she wouldn't want to upset her mummy, would she?

How sick is that?

And that's when I realised. I'm not...

..I'm not Bella any more.

I'm you.

Lauren...

Lauren, I was just trying to look out for you.

Babe, that's all I've ever wanted. I was just trying to protect you.

It's a bit late for that now.

But maybe it's not too late for Bella.

What are you talking about?

Maybe I can go round there and talk to her.

Lauren, what's the point?

You know, the damage has been done. Just leave her.

That's the way you solve everything, isn't it?

Just walk away and let everyone else pick up the pieces.

All right, fine, Lauren. What are you going to say to her?

I don't know. But I've got to do something.

You may never have wanted to make things better, but I do.

Do you really want to do this?

It's getting cold. I can make another one if you like.

You wanted to talk.

Yeah.

(Yeah.)

When me and Lauren first met, me and you, we'd split up.

I was in a bad place. You know how bad.

And then you said you wanted us to give it another go.

And I was so happy. So I ended it.

Because I wanted YOU.

But she just kept coming back for more...

In our bed. In front of our daughter.

I'm sorry.

SHE SCOFFS

Come on! Did it make you feel good, sleeping with a teenager, hmm?

Did it make you feel like a man?

Make you feel in control, just for one small second,

of that pathetic compulsion of yours?

She understands me.

I have put my life on hold time and again for you.

And why?

Because I knew what you were.

You're a screw-up.

A weak, pathetic, little screw-up.

All right, so I screwed up.

In spite of that, I loved you. I LOVED you.

I defended you. More fool me.

My parents warned me and you've just proved them right.

I was selfish, weak. But I can get help.

And then along comes Little Miss Adolescence, all needy and

vulnerable, and you have the nerve to tell me that she understands you!

We can get through this, I know we can,

because we love each other.

And you think that's enough?

Yes. Yes.

I hope she was worth it.

Oh, please don't go... Please?

Watch me.

Look, you can't leave me.

If you leave me, you know how I'll end up.

You know what'll happen to me.

(Don't you dare!)

(Please? Please?)

I'm begging you. Please? Look, if not for me, for Bella.

Please? I'm sorry. Please?

Yeah, yeah, but you already told us that the test wasn't yours?

I know. Sorry. I panicked.

-How could you be so stupid, Whit?

-I'm not pregnant.

You're not pregnant?

No. I'm not pregnant. I did the test and it was positive.

I've done another one and it's negative so it's all all right.

Yeah, well, maybe you should go to the doctor's to make sure.

I don't need to go. I'm sure I'm not pregnant.

If you was going to have a baby, who was the dad?

-I don't think that really matters now.

-Of course it matters.

-All right. It was Johnny.

-Johnny?

No?!

We were messing about and we had an accident.

-Maybe he's straight after all.

-Perhaps Whit's turned him.

Yeah, go on, laugh at my expense.

Yeah, you know, the next time you're "messing around" be more careful and use protection.

And don't go shifting the blame onto somebody else.

-I know. Sorry.

-All right.

I know you don't need this, what with...

..everything.

I made her tell me.

I knew there was something wrong with you.

I wanted to help.

Yeah, but, you know what, you can help by being honest in the future?

I thought I'd be the last person you'd want to give work to.

No. Listen, business is business, right?

-Right.

-It just seems that you

and Nancy just can't stay away from each other...

I just want to make her happy.

Aw! That's good to hear.

If you're serious about being part of this family,

you've got to prove yourself with this little bit of work, all right?

Yeah, no problem. There's no point you shelling out on some specialist

when I can do it at family rates, you get me?

-You know what you're doing, don't you?

-Of course. I've done it loads of times.

Good. You keep it cheap and you've got yourself a deal.

Go on, raise your glass, boy. There you go. Go on, on your way.

Go on.

I told you. He just wants to get to know you better.

Look at her. Making a fool of herself.

You can't honestly think he's good for her.

You know what they say, L.

Love is blind?

Keep your enemies closer.

What you doing?

-Homework.

-Have you gone mad?

When were you going to say something then?

Or am I supposed to believe talking about it ain't going to help?

What are you on about?

The pregnancy test, Liam.

Yeah, I thought that was yours.

No. I only said that cos, you know, of what you said -

your "woman troubles" and that.

Well, that's nothing to do with me.

Look it's not. I swear.

Liam, you'd better be telling me the truth. I've lied through my teeth for you.

I've convinced them that it was mine and that it was a complete false alarm.

-Everything all right?

-Yeah, fine.

What was all that about?

Right, just get rid of this mess.

So, you're still into little Cindy then, are you?

No!

If you like her, Liam. Go for it.

Yeah, right.

What's stopping you?

Well, first of all, she likes muscles.

Muscles?

Do you know what the most important muscle in the body is?

The brain. And all right, that's not strictly true, it's not a muscle.

But you flex it properly

and it will get you further than a honed set of abs any day.

And I've told you before, ain't I? It's all in the mind, seduction.

And she knows all about mind games don't she, old Cindy?

What about when she lied about, you know?

Which, by the way, you have to ask yourself why would

she would do that if she weren't interested in you?

So, if you like her, don't give up on her.

SHE SIGHS

Lauren, you don't have to do this.

HE SIGHS

Are you OK?

Yeah. Great. Never been better(!)

Well, I just thought maybe I could talk to Bella

and try...

Good luck with that.

Sadie's gone. Taken Bella with her.

-Well that's that Lauren, innit? Let's go.

-She's left you?

Yeah. What did you think?

She was going to stay around and play happy families?

-I'm sorry.

-Yeah.

She's sorry. Did you hear that? She's sorry.

-Well that makes everything all right then, doesn't it(?)

-Calm down, all right?

Yeah? And are you sorry, eh? Sorry for coming round here shooting your mouth off?

Spreading your lies about me getting someone pregnant. Destroying my marriage.

-Excuse me, mate, I didn't do that, did I?

-No, I did.

Come on, Lauren. Let's get out of here. Let's go!

Go on, run along.

I've got our old friend here for company.

(Jake, don't...)

What else is there, eh?

Jake, no, you're stronger than this.

Don't! Don't. Please...

Please?

Get out!

Get out! SHOUTS: Get out!

BOTTLE SHATTERS

Lauren, I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

What's the matter with you, eh? What's the matter with you?

You want to have a go? Well, come on then, because I've got nothing left to lose.

Look at the state of you. Pathetic.

So, Whitney's up the duff then?

Apparently not. She lied about it being hers.

Why would she do that?

Don't know, mate. Your guess is as good as mine.

TV AND CHATTER IN BACKGROUND

TEXT ALERT

OK?

(Lauren.)

Lauren?

So, what was so important?

They found your stupid pregnancy test.

So, what are we going to do about it?