27/03/2014 EastEnders

You've been at that for hours. Here, let me have a look.

No!

Oh, Ian?!

It's going to be a disaster, ain't it?

I just need to get on with it, get it out the way.

YOU'VE got my laptop! I've been looking for it everywhere.

Whoa, what you doing?!

I just got sent a copy of my website page. Wait till you see it.

Lucy, I've got a speech to write, all right? It can wait till later.

What, you can't spare a minute?

Your dad's in a bit of a state at the minute.

-What have you done?!

-See you later, Dad.

Luce! All right, love, I'll...

DOOR SLAMS ..I'll look at your website.

HEAVY RAIN ON WINDOW

Sandy and Dotty sent a card.

That's my granddaughter.

She can't come. She's got a cold.

Tell me you haven't been in here all night.

I wanted to keep him company, you know.

-Didn't want him to be on his own.

-We've got a bit of time -

why don't you have a lie down, and I'll sit with him?

No time for that. I've got to ring Mr Papadopoulos,

-tell him I can't come in.

-You've already done it.

Have I?

I've forgotten.

I will see him again, won't I?

You know, when I pass on...

..my Nick will be there, won't he?

My mum used to say that God loves everyone.

Yes. He sendeth the rain on the just, and on the unjust.

Oh, look. It's stopped raining.

It's going to be a sunny day.

Why does it looks so big in here?

I'm not just a pretty face, you know! It's all about clever design.

Now, there's a staircase out the back to create more space.

And there's one outside that goes straight to the balcony.

I thought you'd have noticed it, with the hoardings down.

-Thought that was a fire escape.

-You are so designer-unfriendly!

Anyway, how comes this delivery's come so early?

-Well, we won't be here to sign for them, will we?

-Why?

You haven't forgotten what's happening

around 12 o'clock today, have you?

A certain someone's getting buried.

And I won't be going.

Oh, yes, you will.

The geezer was a weasel, I hated him.

Yeah, and today you're going to love him.

You're going to turn up, looking suitably sombre,

and Dot will be so touched.

-This ain't Denny you're talking to, you know.

-Come on, Phil,

please, do it for me.

You know there's going to be hardly anybody there, so I'd love it

if Dot thought people cared.

That's not TOO much to ask, is it?

In Nick Cotton's case, yeah, it is.

Well, I'll be wearing black today.

Hmm? Black dress,

black stockings...

Do you want me to go on?

Now, bring the rest in - I've got a million things to do.

OK.

Snap!

Only, mine's bigger than yours. Listen, how was your little day trip?

I know that you went to see Stacey.

I don't really think now is the time or place, do you?

We'll go over the caff if you want?

I'm only making conversation.

Look, I'll make it easy for you, shall I?

She didn't mention you. Not once.

-All right?

-Sorry, Mas, running late.

I didn't see you at breakfast.

-Wasn't hungry.

-Or you're avoiding me already.

Don't say that. Course not.

There's really no need to. I understand, I do.

Being friends is enough for me.

We're not teenagers, I can cope.

Sorry.

And, look, if you want to move out, that's cool,

but really, there's no need to.

-We can all get along, can't we?

-Thank you.

See? It's working already.

I wondered if Dot needed anything.

Er, no, she's just sort of sitting in there at the moment.

Right, I'll pop my head in.

Yeah. She's doing OK - you know, considering...

but she's doing it her way.

Oh, of course.

I mean, I haven't even told her that Rose and Andrew ain't coming yet.

Did she mention them?

Right. Well, let's worry about the people who WILL be there.

We're the ones who need to make today special.

-So that's him, then, is it?

-Was.

That's a lovely touch, that is.

There's more of this to come, but I really appreciate

you letting us have it here, seeing as the restaurant's out of action.

And the chippy just seemed wrong.

Shouldn't you be on the stall?

That is the last time I help you.

Pete, come on, I was joking!

Funny, ain't it? You put everything into your kids,

send them on their way, and they get sent back, and it's...

Don't you worry, Ian,

we'll do everything to make it as special as we can.

Yeah, you can rely on the Carters, my old son.

I'll get the rest of the food sorted, then get started on my speech.

You're doing a speech? You?

Yeah. Dot asked me.

Well, you done it yet?

Er, I'm nearly there.

Give him a squeeze, he's been sorting all this out, ain't he?

Yeah, well, sorting out a few sausage rolls is one thing,

writing a speech for Dot's dead son...

I know where MY priorities would be.

Was thinking, we might do a family meal later.

-You up for that?

-Yeah, great. Nice one. That sounds good.

You ain't thinking of cooking, are you?

Don't you think one wake's enough for today?

There you go, Patrick - strong cuppa.

Thanks. And I need to make it even stronger.

I tell you, I drank a gallon of this when my son Paul died, you know?

What do you think? It's my new web page.

I know it's not perfect, but... what do you think?

You're starting a business?

Do you know how many jobs I've gone for and not got?

If they don't want me, then I'll do it on my own.

Yeah, I like it! Nice one.

LB Lettings. I'm surprised your dad's name's not all over it.

My dad? No, he's not involved. This is just me.

You done that all by yourself?

Do you mind?

No, no, I like it. It's good.

-I like it a lot.

-Thanks.

I'D click on it.

I would.

So, what, do you reckon me and Paul would've got on?

That boy was a liar, a thief and the bane of my life.

So you didn't like him that much, then?

Son, I loved him with all my heart.

Oh, I think, um, it's time I go and call on Dot now.

I thought I might tag along.

Look, I don't think that's a good idea.

-I care an' all, Patrick.

-But I'm just going to drop these outside.

Then, you won't mind me coming, will you?

Listen now, I don't want any trouble, all right?

What are you talking about - trouble? On a day like today?

Come on. No time like the present.

You haven't got long to get changed.

Well, I ain't getting changed, Sonia.

I ain't going.

Course you are.

Nah. Just tell your mum I can't face it.

Max, Mum's not well today, all right? She's in bed, she can't go.

Well, lucky for her.

Why don't you get over there and see for yourself how lucky she is, eh?

Oh, come on, Max.

Grandad is desperate for one of his kids to be there.

So please get changed, cos you ain't got long.

You can't do this to Dot.

Please, Max.

Maybe I just don't like funerals.

I can't believe you'd be that selfish.

Oh, um...

From me...

-and Cora.

-Thank you.

Is Dot receiving?

We're not stopping, OK?

I'd like to apologise for yesterday.

I've lost a child an' all, you know.

-You what?

-Rainie.

I know she's not dead, but I'll probably never see her again.

And that's just as bad.

Look, she's just a bit...you know?

Yeah, I do know. Just give her those for me, please.

All I'm saying is that... I...I know what she's going through,

more than anyone.

Just tell Dot we'll see her later.

Will do, Patrick. Thanks again.

Only, you know, I could help her and console her.

Just leave it now, man.

I mean, it's a terrible day as it is without you making it even worse.

Oh, yes! And your "the man's a junkie"

really helped the mood yesterday, didn't it?

I think that's enough. I understand you're friends with my grandma,

but I don't want any more trouble today.

Make sure you put ALL of him in the ground.

Cora!

You're going to have to keep them oiks away from the food.

Don't you worry about a thing - we've got a guard dog.

But she'll be at the funeral.

-You wrote that speech yet?

-Yes.

-Show us it.

Who are you, the speech police?

Look at you, all nervy!

Keep calm, you can only do your best.

We can only live in hope.

-What'll it be, gents?

-Guess.

THEY LAUGH

Everyone, the hearse is here.

Good luck.

Grandma.

Mrs B...

We've, er, we've got to go now.

KNOCK AT DOOR

HE KNOCKS DOOR

Mrs Branning...?

We're going to take your son now.

We need to go.

Yep. You get the car and I'll catch you up, OK?

Don't forget, I'm on a promise later.

I won't. See you later.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

You're what?

All right, as long as it arrives in the next ten minutes.

Yeah, OK.

Got a minute?

Only, I've been thinking about your website.

Looks amazing, it really does.

Yeah, you already said that.

But I forgot to add something...

If you're really serious about going into business,

well, how about I come in with you?

-You?

-Well, I know the ropes... I've got all the contacts, ain't I?

I can get out there and rustle you up tons of business.

Thing is, Billy, I sort of have my own vision,

my own way of doing things, so...

Come on, Lucy, you can't do this all by yourself, you know.

I mean, who's going to be there to man the phones

while you're showing clients around, eh?

It's not a one-man operation.

You want to make this work, you're going to need some help.

Trust me.

You working round here, then?

Probably till the end of the month.

-Sounds good, man.

-You got to take what you can when you can.

-The sun's shining, Dot.

-I knew it would.

Grandma...

Where's Sharon?

You want a lift?

Well, I ain't jogging there, am I?

No, you go ahead, Phil. I'll get a cab.

Yeah, I'll be, like, two minutes, I promise you.

Hang on, there's another call, it might be the delivery. Hang on.

Hello?

Linda.

You've found what?

Oh, you are kidding me!

Look, just hang onto it and I'll come and grab it, OK?

Shouldn't you be off paying your respects?

No, not me, not today.

Now, how about some of that free wine?

That's for the wake, Cora.

I was very fond of Nick.

Just the one.

-L?

-Yeah?

-Is someone going to shout up to Nancy, or...?

She went out with her mates ages ago.

I didn't think the skater-boy look quite fit in with a wake.

You've got to be careful about these things, sensitive.

Don't want something letting us down, do we?

ORGAN PLAYS

-You all right?

-Just.

-Just do Dot proud, yeah?

-I will.

I think of her too, sometimes.

Hev?

PHONE RINGS

Gentlemen, please.

Please be seated.

On behalf of Mrs Branning, I would like to welcome you all

to the celebration and remembrance of Nick Cotton.

Got a minute? Good.

I want that lot out of here - only we've got guests coming later.

-Yeah, I spotted that.

-It's not the only thing you've spotted.

-Can't keep your eyes off that bloke.

-What bloke?

Picking up men is one thing - doing it during a wake is another.

Now, keep your hormones in your pocket.

I'd now like to invite Ian Beale to say

a few words on behalf of Dorothy.

I've lost my words.

Ian...

I can't find it!

I can't...I can't find my speech.

OK, right, well...

Firstly, of course, if anyone has any fond memories of Nick

that they'd like to share, I'm sure Dorothy would love to hear them.

I knew that prat would mess up.

I'd like to say a few words, please.

Do you have a Bible?

Did you mean what you said about Hev earlier?

She's hard to forget, ain't she?

"Do not let your hearts be troubled.

"Trust in God, trust also in me.

"In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so,

"I would have told you.

"I am going to prepare a place for you.

"And if I go and prepare a place for you,

"I will come back and take you to be with me

"that you also may be where I am."

Come on, Patrick, Dot's a saint - you know she'll understand.

Dex, over here. Why aren't you at work?

Sharon told Phil I've got to be here -

something to do with making up the numbers or something.

Grab a seat, then, before the rush.

I was going to give this to you on Sunday.

You might as well have it now.

I've got no idea what to write in this any more.

-Oh, thank you!

-Mr Beale?

-Yeah. It's my eulogy...

Sorry about that.

Nicholas Cotton wasn't perfect.

But then again, who of us really are?

In fact, you could argue that having flaws only makes us more human.

Simply put, Nick had his way of doing things, just like I have mine,

and you have yours.

But I invite you now to listen as I pay tribute to his life

and his memory.

Nick lived an interesting life.

To his family, his friends,

he added much.

You always knew when he was in the room.

Larger than life, not always ready to agree with you,

but always, always an experience to be around.

Unforgettable is the way I would describe him.

Taken from us far too early, leaving us before we truly

got to understand and appreciate him as much as I know Dot did.

We can't even begin to imagine the grief

and devastation that Dot is bravely facing at this moment.

It's at these times, when we are at our lowest, that we need

the bosom of our family and friends.

And I want to say to Nick, not to worry,

that we are here for his mum - all of us -

and we will help her get through this.

I know that a light has gone out in Dot's life,

and all we have left now is a memory of a man

and son who didn't deserve to go before his time.

Ladies and gentlemen - Nick Cotton.

We have entrusted Nick to God's mercy,

and we now commit his body to be cremated.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust...

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection

to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ,

who will transform our frail bodies that they may be conformed

to his glorious body,

who died, was buried, and rose again for us.

To him be glory forever. Amen.

Amen.

TV IS ON

-SWITCHES OFF TV

-Billy's right. You will need someone.

I know. But he's so embarrassing.

I mean, he hasn't got the look, he hasn't got the voice,

he hasn't got the charm.

He's not really what I'm about.

All right, OK, say you could pick anyone, who would it be?

Young or old?

Young.

Male or female?

Prefer a girl.

Got anyone in mind?

All condolences, Mrs Branning,

but please do come in and make yourself right at home.

Your favourite tipple, Mrs Branning.

No. It's not my favourite tipple. It's just medicinal.

But I think I'll have it today.

Just the one. Thank you.

That was really moving, Ian.

-Really?

-Mm-hm.

-Oh, thanks. Well...

I spoke from the heart.

To think I was worried for a second.

Oh, Ian. You did him proud today.

I shall never forget them words of yours.

We didn't really meet in the best circumstances. Charlie.

-Hi, I'm Ronnie.

-Ah. So YOU'RE Ronnie.

Is that good or bad?

That's good.

Dot thinks the world of you.

I'm glad you were there for her when she heard the news.

-Well, I'm glad you were there to take care of Dot.

-Thanks.

Thanks. You were a gent back there.

Well, couldn't have you crying all over me, could I?

So did the future ever arrive?

Yeah, yeah, it has.

I think it's about looking inside yourself...

Dex, you tried these prawn sandwiches?

They'll be repeating later...

Nice one, Nan. Thanks.

I've always seen myself as a speech giver.

To be honest, I think I should've run for Parliament.

Weren't the biggest turn out, was it?

-Some people just can't be bothered, can they?

-Dorothy.

Hey, listen, where's your sister?

Banned. Deemed inappropriate.

I've always had a knack with words...

Dorothy, I just wanted to say...

I've got these new boots on, my feet are killing me.

I THOUGHT I saw you limping.

Dorothy, please...

So, what was your favourite bit?

Yeah, it was a good speech, that, Ian.

Give that back. That's theft.

What's it say here?

-"www.moving-speeches.com"

-Phil...

What did you do? Feed the dead geezer's name in

and they do the rest? Is that how it works is it?

I knew it, I flaming well knew it.

-I thought you said it was from the heart, Ian?

-It was.

-Yeah, only not yours.

-Ian?

-Taking all the credit, eh?

What was I supposed to do?

-You could've been a bit more honest about it.

-Honest?

What, you really think so? I don't...

Lost for words now, ain't you?

Has everybody forgotten him already?

Only, I ain't heard a word about my Nick.

No-one's ever mentioned his name.

I know that none of you really knew him.

And you're only here for me, not for him.

And even the two what DID know him -

Sharon, Ian - you was babies when he was my dear boy.

You only really remember him

when he was taken over by the drugs and everybody shunned him.

The Prodigal Son.

And he said, "Father, I am not worthy to be thy son.

"Make me as one of thy hired servants." And he repented.

But my Nick, he never repented.

And he didn't come home of his own accord.

He come home in a coffin.

Charlie. Take me home, Charlie.

I'm sorry. It's all over.

It's finished. Give me that! How dare you!

-Charlie...

-Yeah.

Oh... Leave me alone.