03/04/2014 EastEnders

SIREN IN DISTANCE

-MUSIC PLAYS

-# Oh, what did you expect?

# Oh, tell me what did you expect? To lay it on my head...

# Always so easily led

# Bang bang, you're dead Put all the rumours to bed... #

Shirl, it's me.

I've done something stupid.

Where are you?

What you doing there?

Is she coming?

Sharon ain't going to run all the way down here, is she?

She's pretty mad! And I bet she's going tell my dad.

Oh, well, it'll be Johnny that gets in trouble, not us.

Well, it was a good night.

No! No, don't tell me this is how my birthday night's going to end!

Why don't you just come to mine, we'll watch a film. My dad ain't going to mind.

I can't. I said that I...

DOG BARKS

MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

He didn't mean nothing by it, Linda. He just don't think.

Yeah, Lee's going to be home in no time.

-I know.

-You all right, Mum?

Yeah. Where's your dad?

He's taken Stan to get a change of clothes.

Wish he'd dump him there.

Oi, Sharon's downstairs for you.

-With Phil?

-Yeah. Why? What have you done?!

Johnny?

Nothing, nothing. You should go down there.

Just tell them I'm not here, or I'm dead!

What have you done?

-Do you think they saw us come in?

-I don't know.

-Hello! Dad!?

-Dad's out. What you doing back?

Girlie night in, it is for us! I'll be having that.

-Oi!

-What film do you want to watch? No rom coms.

I was going to watch something on my own.

-Yeah, well, it's my birthday. So you can watch with us.

-Er, no, thanks.

Just me and you, then.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I'm an idiot. I'm such an idiot!

So, you two, it's a bit sudden. Is it a new thing?

MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

It's always hard to put an exact date on these things.

Isn't it, Mas?

Yeah, it is.

I think you two, you make a lovely couple. Don't they, Ian?

Yeah, yeah, it's just, erm...

I mean, has this been going on since you came back?

Why do you care?

I'm just making conversation.

Well, I think this deserves a little toast.

I'm going to go wash up.

-Don't be silly. Raise your glass.

-I did everything else today, I might as well finish the job!

BACKGROUND MUSIC # Tell me how am I supposed

# To live without you... #

-What was that?

-What was what?

Oh, you know what?

You're not being honest with me.

And I know that someone turned that grill up on purpose, Shabnam.

-Shabs!

-Jane should be with Ian, not my dad.

If it wasn't for you, then she would be

and my family wouldn't be in this mess.

So you were trying... Oh, what exactly?

You were trying to ruin my relationship? I live with the fella.

He's my fiance. This ain't one of your teenage little kicks!

You should be turning cartwheels then, shouldn't you?

Because even after everything you did in there...

-You don't have to worry about Jane any more, do you?

-No.

-No, I don't, do I?

-(No.)

-Did Shabs just...

-Oh, yeah, sorry. She just....

Well, she... She's feeling emotional.

You know, it's you and Jane.

It's just a lot to take in.

-Please, can we just pretend I'm not here?

-No, we can't. Now get out there.

-Please don't be mad.

-Mad?!

-If I was mad, you'd be having this chat with St Peter!

-Phil!

-I'm dealing with it.

-If he's damaged something, we'll pay for it.

-Damaged? It's not that you broke into my bar.

-You did what?!

-I used the key.

It's not even that you trashed the place hours before the opening.

Sharon, I didn't know. I'll get him to clean it up.

But when I walked in, you just ran away, Johnny.

You didn't give me enough respect to face me.

First sign of trouble, you go running to your mum?

-I think we should all just calm down.

-You know, I trusted you.

-Sharon, he's a good boy.

That's what I thought, Linda. You're fired, Johnny.

I'll bring your bar tab round tomorrow.

Sha...

DOOR BUZZER SOUNDS

I'm glad you're home. I forgot my keys.

So you made him kiss you?

Bit desperate.

I thought you were on your way to bed?

Well, no, Whit needs support, so...

Should have seen the way he looked at me.

Like I'd violated him or something.

-Well, he is gay.

-Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. So it doesn't really count as a rejection, does it, eh?

Yeah, I know he is, but I swear it's like when we're together -

the way he makes me feel, the way he looks at me,

I know it's not just friendship.

It's not even going to be that if you keep molesting him, is it?

What have I done?

I tell you what, no matter how bad I mess up with boys,

I always know she's out there doing something worse!

-She's not much better, is she?

-Well, to be fair, we're all completely hopeless.

Speak for yourself! Because I don't get mugged off any more.

Yeah, and I'm OK, too, actually.

All right, why don't we just put the movie on and pretend boys never existed

Yeah, I'm going to go make a phone call.

Hey, it's me.

look, I don't think I can come tonight.

It's not easy lying to her, you know.

Shirl?

Shirley!

TV IN BACKGROUND

Well, someone's turned this place over.

Yeah. Me.

There was no money in the wardrobe, so I had to get creative.

That's what's left.

Our inheritance.

If you've come here to try and persuade me to come back,

Mick, you're wasting your breath.

So you're going to stay here?

Thought you'd redecorate(?)

Looks nice!

While he's there, I'm here.

That's just the thing. He's not there any more.

I just dumped him in the street.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Why can't all dads be like that?

What, sacrifice themselves to save the world from killer asteroids?

-No.

-Sacrifice themselves so their daughters can marry Ben Affleck.

Imagine!

Our dad would never do that.

Your dad's all right.

Is he?

Yeah, I mean he treats you like adults.

Mine still thinks I'm a kid.

-He's not that bad!

-Least you've got a dad.

You've always got to be one up, haven't you?

What was that?

Well, I mean, your dad died when you were like ten, right?

And?

If he hadn't, you'd never have met Tony.

Lucy!

Whitney, wait!

Don't worry, I'm leaving.

That was painful.

Which bit?

-Hey. You OK?

-Yeah. I'm going to bed.

Shabnam, you know Jane and I are not together?

That was just for show.

It's nothing to do with me.

Mas... Don't just walk away.

What do you want from me?

You don't think it would be just a little bit

humiliating to see your father being used like that?

Look, I am really sorry.

It's just that all that stuff Shabnam was saying about Ian,

talking about me. I just wanted him to get the message.

What message is that, exactly?

That I'm not interested in him.

And what kind of message am I supposed to take from that, exactly?

SOUND OF TAP RUNNING

Why is my height even on here?

I was in care then.

He always measured your height when you came home for visits.

Wanted you to feel part of the family.

No, he wanted other people to think I grew up here.

I remember my foster parents had a purple kitchen.

I mean, how could you forget that?

And I had like, um... I had like this little toy car.

It was like a little Cortina. And my foster mum... What was her name?

-Jill.

-Jill.

You really loved her.

Used to scream your head off when we used to come and take you out for the day.

But when I came home, you know, it wasn't things I remember.

I just remember how I felt.

Because when you're a kid and you wake up in the middle of the night

and there's no-one there...

..you just remember feeling scared.

And when you're sitting outside on a step and you're freezing,

in the sleet...

..you don't remember the colour of the door.

You just remember thinking...

..why doesn't he know?

Why doesn't he know I'm hungry?

Why doesn't he know that school's finished?

Why doesn't he know, Shirl?

I'm six years old!

Mick, don't!

That's a lie!

I was never here!

No-one was here.

This place doesn't exist.

Mick, I wish I could've stayed longer when you came back but...

..I... I just couldn't handle it.

It wasn't your job.

Who cares what lies he's told himself? He's alone now.

He's out there, cold and scared.

Like you were.

-He deserves it.

-No.

No, no, it's not right.

-No, I've got to go back.

-What?!

-I've got to go and pick him up.

What have you just been saying what he did to you?!

I can't be him.

I will NEVER be him.

And neither can you.

What are you doing out here?

Er, just...

Is Whit all right?

Yeah, she'll be fine. She's just drunk, ain't she?

Well, tell her I'm sorry.

Luce, what's up?

You've been acting funny all night.

All week, really.

Just worried about the business.

Yeah, well, you can talk to me about things like that.

That's what having a partner's all about.

The business is going to be fine.

It's me and you all the way to the big time.

Why are you being so nice to me?

Er, because you're my best mate.

Well, look at you earlier, making sure that I didn't have a drink.

And then making it funny, so that I didn't care about it.

I'd hate to think that you were upset about something

and you couldn't talk to me.

I'd better go.

OK, well before you go, please do one thing with me.

Aren't you going to make a wish?

Nah. We'll do it together. Ready?

I wonder where we'll be on my 21st?

-Getting chased out of bars and hiding in the cold.

-Mm-hm.

Whitney crying her eyes out, because she's fallen in love

with some bloke from a different country on death row.

Yeah, who's in a civil partnership with another man.

Oh, just come back inside, eh?

It's boring without you.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Nah. I've got to go.

Just tell Whit that I didn't mean it.

Luce!

Thank you for sticking by me today.

Got there in the end.

Sure you're doing the right thing?

He'll upset everyone.

He will.

He'll offend the punters. He'll get at Johnny.

Bring out the worst in Nancy.

All of that.

It will be the longest three weeks of my life.

Unless you help me.

Did I die?

Yeah. You didn't make heaven, funnily enough.

Can I have one of those?

If you like.

I didn't think you'd get so angry.

I'm not angry.

-It was a stupid thing to do.

-Oh!

I'm just digging myself deeper, aren't I?

Look, Jane, you've done nothing wrong.

-It's fine. Just go to bed.

-We both know that's not true.

It's my fault.

I mean, you haven't been here, I...

Life has been one long screw-up for a while.

I've made some very odd choices.

But having you around the last few days, it's been...

I've felt...

The reason why I'm angry is that while you were kissing me, you were thinking of Ian.

And me?

I was...

(Masood.)

I wasn't thinking of Ian.

MICROWAVE PINGS

You going to be staring out that window much longer?

Who are you waiting for, anyway?

They're not coming.

Who?

Sadie's taking Bella to Dubai. She's got a sister out there.

Who's Bella?

My little girl.

When will they be leaving?

Tomorrow.

I made their favourite. Moussaka.

You might as well have it.

You sure?

Er, you're not hungry?

I'm done crying over them.

I can't believe you broke in!

I used the key.

Maybe you have got some of your grandad in you, after all.

Oh, come here, you've had a bad day.

Just seen Mick pulling up outside.

You took your time.

Yeah, well, I had to round up Shirley and all.

Linda.

I'm sorry, that thing I said about Lee.

-Unforgivable.

-Yeah, well, you don't seem to know any better.

It won't happen again.

Can we go up? I'm tired.

All right, everyone, the living room's out of bounds, yeah?

How long's he staying for?

Three very long weeks.

If he upsets either of you, you come straight to me, OK?

I'll be all right, it's Johnny you want to worry about.

-Sensitive soul, ain't he?

-Get over yourself.

-Whoa, is that Phil Mitchell?

Where?!

LAUGHTER

DOOR LOCK BEEPS

SOUND OF SHOWER RUNNING

Thanks son.

Good night, Dad. It's good to have you here.

So, you're all sweet, yeah? So we'll see you in the morning.

Three weeks. Don't get too comfortable.

-You still scared of water, Son?

-Water?!

When was the last time you went down the swimming pool?

I'm too tired for this. I just want my wife and I want my bed.

Or swam in the sea?

Or paddled on the banks of the Thames on a nice sunny day?

Course I have.

I... I remember so vivid. That song.

"I'll Never Smile Again" on the radio in the kitchen.

I remember, because we were sent home with the snow and I thought,

"You must be joking, Frank! I'm grinning from ear to ear."

And then I see water dripping down the wall.

He doesn't need to hear this.

Race upstairs. Someone's run a bath, fallen asleep.

On the landing, Tina's crying, carpet's soaked.

Into the bathroom.

-She's over the bath. Arms in the water, staring down.

-Who is?

"What you doing, you silly cow?!"

Turn off the taps. Takes ages.

Water all swirling.

And then I see...

..something held down.

Push her away, shouting.

Pull you out.

Limp.

Someone was holding me down?

Who?

Lay you on a bed. Panic.

Can't think what to do.

And then...

..a little cough.

I thought I was going to fall over.

Frank still singing up through the floor.

Her still staring in the water.

Who? Who is it?

Sylvie.

Mum?

Sent her off to Aunt Babe's that night.

Last time I saw her.

You take your time, Mick.

Bet hating me was the one thing in life you could count on.

Like British summers, or Aunt Babe's trifles.

Thanks for coming round to the idea of me staying, Shirl.

I think, from now on, things will run very smoothly.

# I'll never smile again

# Till I smile with you. #

-Stop it. I am not ticklish.

-JANE LAUGHS

-I never have been.

-Yes you have.

SOUND OF KISSING

Your tea's going to get cold.

TV: "Then folding in the whipped cream."

Oh, you OK?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Come and give me a cuddle.

Come and give me one.

All right, just this once.

Didn't think you were going to bring him back.

-It was tempting.

-We'll manage.

I swear to God, if he says one more thing about Lee...

We'll ignore him.

You want me to leave the water in for you?

No.

Nah, you're all right.

Yeah. It's me.

That thing we discussed.

Well, now's the time.

DOOR OPENS

Hey.

You took your time.

Got here in the end.