10/04/2014 EastEnders

-You've had one date!

-Yeah, but it's one more date than you've been on!

I don't know why you don't just stick a habit on and be done with it!

-Oh, thank you.

-What about the guy in the gym?

The boxer guy with the squishy nose. He likes you.

How many times have I got to tell you? I'm happy being single!

Ronnie!

I just popped in to see Dot before work.

-I've been trying to call you.

-Oh, sorry, I think my phone's broken.

No, it's not. I called you on it this morning.

When are we going for that drink?

-Well, work's a bit hectic at the moment...

-Why don't you pick her up

-at seven?

-And you are?

-This is Roxanne.

-She's my pimp.

-Charlie Cotton.

-Don't be late now.

Come on, let's go!

MUSIC PLAYS ON THE RADIO

-Can we see TJ and Rosie today?

-No. Not today.

-Are you still mad at Terry?

-It's complicated, all right.

-That's code for yes.

-No!

Me and Terry have just decided to have some time apart.

-You dumped him?!

-No, I didn't dump him.

-Like I said, it's complicated, ain't it?

-But he made me laugh.

-And he bought us stuff.

-Well, you'll just have to make do with me!

Go upstairs and get dressed anyway, please! THEY SIGH

I tell you, I can't wait for those kids to get back to school.

-You all right?

-No, I couldn't sleep.

-KNOCK ON THE DOOR

I'll get it!

Sonia's killing herself working at the hospital

AND covering my shifts... You know, I should be looking after her.

Mum, they've only said she's got the gene. She's not ill.

-Who're we talking about then?

-What're you doing here?

-I've come to cover for mum.

-You've got other things to worry about.

Yes, making sure that YOU are on time for your ultrasound.

Now go on, off you go. Listen B, you can go to work as well.

-Rebecca's here, she can look after the kids for you.

-Son...

Go on, off you go!

-Mum?

-Kids! You going to get these games ready? Rebecca's downstairs.

How about some of this, Lex? Want some? No?

-She's still off her food, you know, Pops.

-Yeah.

-I just found them on the doorstep.

-Ah, Pops! You shouldn't have.

I didn't.

-Aww, from Peter.

-Yeah? What does he say?

-He wants to take me up the Shard.

-He wants to take you up the where!?

The Shard! That big silly building next to London Bridge.

-What does he want to take you there for?

-I don't know, do I?

-I bet they cost him a few bob.

-Yeah.

I ain't even got a vase to put them in.

LEXI LAUGHS

What am I meant to do with that?

-Ah, yeah that'll do.

-All these fancy gestures.

What's the matter with a barbecue bucket from McKlunky's, eh?

-He's fit, Ron!

-He's Dot's grandson!

-Even better!

You get free service washes.

THEY LAUGH What are you up to?

I tell you what Jay's up to,

he's going to move to Liverpool with Abi, aren't you?

-You're not?!

-I'm not moving anywhere.

-Does Abi know this?

SHE GASPS AND SPEAKS IN AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT

No, I can't bear it. Scott and Charlene are on the ropes.

-Oh, no, does Madge know?!

-We're all doomed.

-You know we belong together!

-Who?

-You and I for ever and ever.

-Oh, no. I'm off.

-ROXY GETS A TEXT

-Bye, Jay!

-See you later.

-Who's that?

-Well, it looks we're both on a promise tonight.

-What do you mean?

-It's Aleks.

He wants to know if I'd like to go out for a drink later.

Don't you think you should slow things down a bit?

Hold on a minute, you told me to go for it in the first place!

-I just don't want to see you getting hurt.

-It's called having FUN, Ron!

You want to try it sometime.

Shirl, do you have to do that in here?

-It's a kitchen, Mick.

-He never could handle his booze.

-I'm not hung-over!

You were snoring like a pig last night. I hardly got a wink of sleep.

-Just look at the state of him.

-You can shut up an' all.

-You lot are doing my swede in.

-Lee out of his pit yet?

With any luck, he feels a lot worse than me.

-Then stop trying to match him pint for pint.

-She's right.

-You ain't getting any younger.

-Morning!

-Hello!

How's your head this morning?

Like I've just gone six rounds with George Groves.

You want to get out there with Lee. Blast them cobwebs away.

-Oh, I'll call the ambulance now, shall I?

-He's all right as he is.

You'll be back to help me in the pub later, won't you?

Oi, she asked you a question!

-Course.

-Mummy's little soldier.

-Tuck in.

-I dread to think what state that bar's in downstairs.

We had a couple of pints and a few shots...

-You ain't got nothing to worry about.

-You sure about that?

-THEY LAUGH

-Is that mine?!

-THEY LAUGH

-Hang on! Is that supposed to be me!?

-Lee! Hold up. Lee...

-Mick!

-Lee!

Right. I'm off to work now, love, OK?

-I can play you another one if you like.

-I'm running late as it is.

-Sounded lovely though.

-Really?

-Course it did!

Rebecca you've got a real gift there.

-Bianca reckons I get it from your side.

-Did she?

She said your trumpet recitals used to have people in tears.

-Yeah, that sounds about right.

-Is everything all right, Mum?

-Why do you ask that?!

-You seem a bit...

-A bit what?

-A bit sad.

Come here.

-You promise me something.

-What's that?

No matter how hard life gets, you'll never take up the drums!

-Cheers, mate. Have a good day. See you later.

-Hey.

-What's that for?

-You know what.

-Be ready at one, yeah?

We don't have to go up all them stairs, do we?

No, I think they've got a lift, babe.

And here, Roxy wants me to do her nails. Every little helps, don't it?

-Yeah. Until you start college.

-So, is it all posh up there then, is it?

-I don't think so.

-Well, can I go like this, or...?

Yeah, you look great.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

Just wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.

-Here she is!

-Why? What?

-Roxy told me about your hot date.

-Did she now?

Yeah, so if you want your nails done, or a pedicure give me

-a call, all right?

-Yeah all right, see you later.

-See ya.

-Ooh!

-Sorry, love!

-Mind out!

Excuse my boy, Ronnie. He's just trying to show his old man up.

-Don't even think about it.

-Why not?

-Firstly, she's a Mitchell.

-Second?

Well out of your league, son.

SHE KNOCKS

-Can I have a word?

-Not now, I'm busy here.

-You need to cool it with Roxy.

-I'm sorry?

The last thing my sister needs is another bloke messing her about.

-So tell her that you can't see her again.

-I will do no such thing.

-One date. That's what we agreed.

-So what? I changed my mind.

-It's a man's prerogative.

-You either tell her or I will.

Ronnie, what's the problem?

-I like her.

-She can do better.

-Better than me?!

-You're a fascinating woman, Ronnie.

-Am I?

I'd love to know what's going on in that beautiful head of yours.

-Tell her today.

-What if I don't?

-You want to watch where you're going, son!

-What's the matter?

-Problem?

-Nah, just some mug that can't walk in a straight line.

-Right, well, I'm done here.

-All right, I'll catch you in a bit.

-Everything all right though, yeah?

-Cushty.

Look at you, eh?! You got it all going on. Your own nail business...

Yeah, well, only till I start college.

-Romantic trips to the Shard.

-Yeah, if we make it there.

-Well, look at me. I can't go like this, can I?

-Why?

-Cos everything I own is second hand or a knock-off.

-Oh, come on!

Peter would love it even if you turned up in a bin liner,

wouldn't he? Although it doesn't hurt, does it,

to make a little bit of an effort every now and then.

Especially when they're as hot as Peter. What?!

I'm not that much older than him!

-All right, I am.

-THEY LAUGH

-Right, come on.

-Roxy, they're not dry.

Yeah, but we've got to find you something to wear, haven't we?

Yeah, but not tarty. Something classy.

-All right. Ronnie's wardrobe?

-Good idea!

You'll never guess where Peter is taking Lola!

-The Shard.

-Yeah.

-It's only a big building, Abs.

But it's really romantic though, ain't it?

Not if you don't like heights, it's not, no.

-Tenner says she'll have dumped him by Friday.

-Who?

-Dora the Explorer over there. What planet are you on today?

-Sorry.

-I didn't get much sleep last night.

-All right, yeah.

Spare me the details.

Chance'd be a fine thing. No, Martin has to get up early, doesn't he?

-For his fruit and veg.

-Typical bloke.

Thinks about his plums first and his women second.

Cup of tea to takeaway, please. Listen, Son. About yesterday...

-It's fine.

-No look, my head has just been so full of Terry!

-It doesn't matter.

-It does. I should've been there for you.

-There's nothing you could've done.

-What's Martin say?

-Not a lot he could say.

-But he's all right though, yeah?

-Brilliant.

-See? That's all that matters, innit?

-Yeah.

-All right? Three bacon sarnies, please.

-Yeah, course.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-You all right.

-Yeah, I'm just waiting for me tea.

Can I go and show Tiff my new Zayn stickers?

-No, best you don't, sweetheart.

-I don't mind.

-Yeah, well, I do.

-Oh.

I'll be off then, shall I?

Oh, I don't know, Rox.

-It don't really suit me.

-Are you kidding me?

-I would kill to be 17 again.

-Shut up.

-Listen, I mean it.

-Peter's really lucked out with you.

-What?! A single mum with split ends.

-Shut up.

-You look amazing.

-Sorry. Roxy said that it would be OK.

-Yeah. You can take what you like.

-Thanks.

-ROXY GETS A TEXT

-So tell us about this new fella of yours.

-He's not my fella.

-He's a copper, ain't he?

-Phil's going to go mad when he finds out, you know!

-I don't believe this!

-Why, what's happened?

-Aleks. He's gone and dumped me.

-What a scumbag.

He reckons I'm too full-on for him.

-I mean we've only been on one poxy date!

-Maybe it's just as well.

Yeah, Pops does say he's really shady.

Is there something wrong with me? Am I jinxed?

QUIET TALKING IN THE LIVING ROOM

There's no prizing you two apart these days, is there, eh?

Just spending a bit of quality time with my grandson.

-Ahhh! Your mother wants you downstairs.

-Yeah, I'm just going.

I'm watching you, old man.

So, how do I look?

You don't like it, do you?

-You look amazing.

-Is it posh enough for the Shard?

-Yeah!

You're going to show ME up.

-Where did you get it?

-I had it from ages ago.

-All right?

-All right, mate.

-She looks great, don't she?

-Yeah, I s'pose so.

-Oh, thanks(!)

-It's just not very you.

Don't listen to him. You look great.

Yeah, I'm going to go back and see Pops, yeah.

-One o'clock, yeah?

-Yep.

-It's Charlie, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, I'm Carol. Jim's daughter.

-How's Dot holding up?

-She's cleaning like there's no tomorrow.

-Well tell her that we send our love, yeah?

-Go and tell her yourself?

-She'd appreciate a visit.

-Mum, how was the ultrasound?

-Hey.

Well, the tumour's shrinking, apparently. For what it's worth.

That's brilliant. This calls for a celebration.

-What, and just forget about Sonia for the afternoon.

-No, course not.

Do you know if she's spoken to Martin yet?

-Yeah, she said he was brilliant.

-What, and you believed her?

You know Rebecca's going to have to get tested as well, don't you?

-Mum, this is no-one's fault.

-Isn't it?

Her whole world's going to turn upside down.

And there's nothing I can do to help. See ya.

-Look, maybe it's better if you just stay single for now.

-And then what?

I'm going to end up living in a high rise smelling of cat wee.

SHE LAUGHS

I don't know what you're laughing at. This is actually my life now...

School runs and 2-for-1 meals at the Minute Mart. Oh, and nits.

You're a beautiful, young, independent woman

-who's about to buy her own home.

-So why does no-one want me?

Of course they do!

Look, why don't you take some money and buy yourself something nice.

-Why?

-Because I'm going to take you

-up town tonight, that's why.

-No, you've got a date.

-This is more important.

-No, you don't have to do that...

I know I don't have to but I want to, so take it. Go on.

Boom! You owe me ten pound.

-What!?

-I'm going to miss you, that's all.

-Mum!

-Lee's taken something!

-Sorry it's so quiet, baby.

-It usually picks up about four.

-HE SWITCHES ON THE JUKE BOX

-What're you doing?

-Putting a bit of life back in this place.

-Tel and the kids came in for a quiet lunch.

-Don't worry about us.

-I reckon Tel likes to party with the best of them, don't you, Tel?

-Yeah.

-What're you doing?!

-I'm not too old to dance with my mum now, am I?

Kill me now!

You see them lot? Nothing to do with me.

I was adopted, just so you know.

-Oi! Customers.

-Go on, you.

-The boy's got rhythm. Unlike his father.

-All right, ladies...

What can I do you for?

I hate the Easter holidays.

-You and me both, Spud.

-Are you all right?

-You ain't depressed or nothing?

-No. Course I ain't. Look.

Bianca and me... We want different things, don't we?

Don't worry about me. I'm a big boy. I can look after myself.

Oh! Oh, you.

What are you on a promise or something?

That's the third time you've looked at that kettle in a half hour.

-Force of habit.

-You sure we're not keeping you from nothing?

-He's here for the whole shift. Aren't you, baby?

-Course.

-Good.

Go and change the barrel.

Dad... It's good to be home.

Right, ladies.

I can't walk in these shoes.

Oh, has she been sick again?!

You're not feeling very well. Are you, my little princess?

-Maybe I should call Peter and do it another day then.

-Don't be daft.

I can look after her, can't I?!

What are we even going to do up the Shard?

-I dunno. Just look out, I suppose.

-What, and that's it?

I tell you what,

me and Lexi'll stand out in the garden and wave at you.

-Are you going to come wave at your mummy, are you?

-Lola?!

You going to go wave at Mummy? Right, I better be off.

-Yeah, have a good time.

-See you later. Bye, Lex.

Come here, little one. Lo... Lo...

Oh, no, no, no, no! Pops!

-No, don't do it with that.

-We should get going, babe.

-Yeah, two minutes.

-All right?

-All right? Yeah.

It wasn't my fault, was it?!

LOLA SIGHS HEAVILY

-You looking for someone?

-You nearly gave me a heart attack!

What're you doing down there?

Cottage cheese.

The calcium's good for the puppies apparently.

I never had you down as a dog lover!

Yeah, well, you say anything to anyone and you'll go back to Afghanistan a soprano. Understood?!

LADY DI SLURPS THE CHEESE

-You're nothing like Mum said you were.

-Is that right?

Yeah, she used to tell us a story as kids.

She'd always replace the witch's name with... Shirley.

-But you're all right.

-I'm glad to hear it.

A Carter in the army.

I'd never believe it.

-Inside, yeah. But not the army.

-It's not all that.

Well, don't tell your dad that. He's as proud as punch. They both are.

Oi, there's a treacle down by the bar.

-Reckons you've left your pants in the back of her Clio.

-Duty calls.

-He's a good kid.

-The best.

Thank you. There you go, sweetie. Cheers.

-Hello again.

-Repeat prescription for Dot. I think I've cleared them out.

-How is she?

-We're going through her old photos. We're on 1944.

-Who's this?

-This is Amy.

-I didn't know you had a kid.

-No, I don't.

She's my niece.

Listen. About tonight...

-You're not bailing on me, are you?

-I'm really sorry.

-I knew it.

-So, come on. Who is he?

-It's a she actually. Come on lovely.

See you later.

-Where's the kids?

-Upstairs dissecting a slug.

-Are you all right?

-Me?! Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

-Good.

-How's your Dad doing?

He's OK.

-What about last night?

-Same as usual.

-I bet your mum had loads to talk to him about.

-Like what?

Just, you know, grown-up stuff really.

-Dad plays football on a Wednesday.

-What about when he got back?

He had a bath and went to bed. He had to get up early this morning.

-Has something happened?

-No, course not.

Nothing you need to worry about.

Right, do you want to put some cartoons on?

What happened to your babies?

Are they in heaven?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

Do you miss them?

Yeah.

Yeah, every day.

But I've got you and your mummy, haven't I?

And I'm not going to let anyone hurt either of you, am I?

Am I? Am I? No! SHE GIGGLES

INAUDIBLE CHATTING

What're they doing here?

I think Jay thinks a little trip to The Shard's going to convince

Abi to stay in London.

-Hiya. All right?

-I'm SO excited!

-You all right?

-Yeah.

Right. Shall we go?

-Can you smell sick? Eurgh. There it is again.

-I think it's Lola.

-I wasn't going to say anything...

-So why did you?

-It'll only take five minutes just to go home and get changed.

-Yeah.

-She's all right as she is.

-Jay...

Why don't YOU ask her what SHE wants for a change?

-Lola!

-No, Peter, I didn't even want to wear this stupid dress

in the first place!

Can someone just tell me what I've done wrong?!

You don't get it, do you?!

It's baby sick, all right? Baby sick, baby dribble!

Peter, I'm a mum and that is who I am, all right?

I ain't going to change for no-one.

Lola.

What was that about?

It's nothing. Let's just get this day over with.

You know what? Forget it!

You haven't told Martin, have you?

-Son, he's got a right to know.

-This has nothing to do with you.

-He's your husband.

-Yeah, and I'm going to tell him when I'm ready.

-You girls all right?

-Yeah, we're fine thanks. Look...

Can I have that cleaning cloth, please?

I know this must be really hard for you!

Don't you dare pretend to know how I'm feeling.

-But it could have easily been me.

-Except it wasn't!

-It's only the gene, innit?

-I'm sorry?!

Well, it don't mean you're going to get cancer!

-That's all right then! I don't know what I'm worrying about(!)

-Come on,

-Sonia!

-You just haven't got a clue!

-I'm trying my best here.

-There you go again.

-Making it all about Bianca.

-I don't know what to say to you!

Well, just go, will you? And just let me deal with this my way!

I got the accounts for the gym.

-I thought we could go through them together.

-Yeah? No, no, that's fine.

It's fine. I'll be there in about 20 minutes.

OK, I'll see you later. It's Roxy. There's a problem with the tube.

-Why can't she get a cab?

-Can you watch Amy for me, please?

-You do too much for her, you know.

-Excuse me! She's my sister!

Yeah, who doesn't need mollycoddling.

-Will you would do the same for Lola!

-Course I would.

-I'd do anything for that girl!

-Well, there you go then.

-The difference is, Roxy is a grown woman.

-Who needs looking after.

-Just like Lola. See you later.

-Yeah, all right.

Have you got it?

Will you tell everyone I said goodbye?

And Johnny, tell him to stay away from Nancy's crop tops.

-Just go, will you?

-And Dad. Tell him I said I'm sorry?

Tell me yourself.

You going somewhere?

Go home, Son. I can cover the rest of your shift.

-You're all right.

-I'll drag you out by your hair if I have to.

-Families do your nut in sometimes, don't they?

-Yep.

I tell you what, let's do a straight swap? Shirley for Bianca.

I'll even throw in a fiver and my Prisoner Cell Block H set.

I don't know what to do, Tina.

Just when I thought we were getting back on track...

You're talking about Martin, yeah?

I just feel like someone up there is having one big joke at our expense.

I just want to be a wife and have a normal family.

I think that's what everyone wants. Well apart from the husband bit.

I'm 28 eight years of age.

I should be deciding what holiday I'm going to go on.

And instead of that I'm deciding

whether I should have a double mastectomy.

I'm scared, Tina.

So how did you get it? A fake passport.

-We're looking at at least 600 shots.

-I gave him the money.

-And what were you going to do with it?

-What do you think?!

You keep that shut, all right? I asked you a question.

I was going to fly to Madrid.

-And what was you going to do when you get there?

-I dunno.

-Get a bar job or something.

-Right, OK, let me just get this straight.

So you was going to risk doing bird

plus four years good service for a poxy bar job?

-Is that what you're telling me?

-Never did you any harm.

I SWEAR I will push you down them stairs in a minute.

-You don't understand.

-Course I don't understand.

This is your career, son. Why do you want to throw it away?

-Cos I can't go back.

-Why can't you go back?

-I did something stupid.

Doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

You know my mate Dan I was telling you about?

-The one I started off training with.

-Course I do.

I only slept with his bird, didn't I?

So, you front it out. Like a man.

-You don't go slipping off to Spain.

-Dad...

-He's a grown up lad.

He can do what the hell he wants.

OK, do you know what?

Your granddad's right. It's not my decision to make. If you want to go,

there's the door.

But first you're going to tell me what really happened.

And this time I want the truth.

Lola. Will you give me a call when you get this?

-Abs, have you seen Lola?

-No.

-Not since she ran off.

-I don't get it, OK.

-One minute everything's fine, the next thing...

-It's not your fault.

Well, then what is it?

I don't know Peter, maybe you're better off asking Jay!

Why do you say that?

Just cos she seems to talk to him more, that's all!

Hang on.

Why aren't you two at the Shard?

I think Jay had other things on his mind.

-You haven't got to do all this, you know.

-Do what?!

Well, the posh dress, the college course... What about what YOU want?

It ain't about what I want, is it?

What're you talking about!? Of course it is!

He's doing WHAT?!

Well, don't speak to him, then! I don't know go and sit by...

No, go and stand by the ticket office or something.

No, Jay, you don't understand. Boys like Peter

-don't usually go for girls like me, all right?

-Are you serious?

I'm a single mum with no GCSEs.

-What have I got going for me, Jay, eh? Nothing.

-Everything!

Lo, you're amazing.

Look, I'll get there as soon as I can, OK?

No, Jay, I can't do this.

Lo!

SHE GASPS

SHE GASPS