27/05/2014 EastEnders

-It's just silly nonsense.

-No, it's not. It's traditional!

So's Changing of the Guards.

You're not planning on inviting any Beefeaters, are you?

How do you know?

-Something old is the first one, ain't it?

-Oh, that's easy. Just look at the bride.

Don't be silly. You're beautiful.

Still need something else.

-Morgan!

-Thanks, Morgan.

-We've got this.

-Oh.

Let's have a look. Where'd you get that from?

Your box of old photos.

I forgot about that one.

-Look at his spots.

-Oi, oi! Don't!

Anyway, tell you what, I've got my mum's old ring.

-Yeah, lovely.

-OK. Something new.

That's easy.

-You'll all see.

-Oooh!

Something borrowed.

The money to pay for this lot. Poor old David.

-Weren't that expensive.

-Most of it was past its sell-by date anyway.

-What?

-Nah, I'm joking!

-Ooh, you. I could borrow this.

-Er...

And put it back later.

-What's the next one?

-Oh, something blue. Look, brought this from home.

-Ain't it lovely?

-That's not going to go with my wedding dress, darling.

Don't go with anything.

Why? It's nice! What's wrong with it?

-It's green.

-It's not.

-It IS green.

-Yes, it is. Mum?

-Where's she gone?

Oh, you're wearing the tie, then?

Well, I will be. I'm just getting the knot right.

Can't get anything past you, can we?

-Why, you trying to?

-Bianca.

I am going to wear this tie to make your mum happy, yeah?

Because there is nothing - nothing -

I want more than to make today the best day of your mum's life.

No second thoughts, then? No doubts at all?

None.

How much more proof do you need, eh?

I'm wearing the tie. I've even agreed to let Sonia drive us.

Though God knows how we're all going to fit in there.

I love her, Bianca. I always have and I always will.

And today, I finally get to show her

and you - the whole world! - how much.

So just let me do that, yeah?

-And I love you.

-We've got a problem.

-Oh, yeah? What?

-Something blue.

-We ain't got nothing.

-Ain't got what?

-You know, something old, something new...

-We've got the first three. We just haven't got the something blue.

Oh, yes, we have. Or we will have. What time are we going?

-Half past 12.

-Right, that's perfect.

It don't matter anyway.

Like Mum said, it's only a silly old tradition. It's not important.

Hey, it's our wedding day! Every single bit of it's important.

-You OK?

-Yeah.

I want to ask you something.

FRONT DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Bianca?

-It was Dad.

-Where's he gone?

-To get you a surprise.

-What surprise?

It wouldn't be a surprise if we told you, would it?

Something blue, all right? He didn't tell us what either.

-How long will he be? I've not seen him all morning.

-That's good!

-You're not meant to on the wedding day.

-Yeah, it's bad luck.

What did you want to ask me?

Mum?

Will you walk me in? To the registry office?

It's not like in church, down the aisle or anything,

and I was going to do it all by myself, but...

Will you?

Oh, that'd be lovely.

Liam?

Er, yeah. Course.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, he can go the whole hog. Dress you up as a page boy.

Come on, I'll make you a tea.

-That was for Nan.

-Look, trust me, Liam.

If you don't want to trust Grandad, you don't have to.

But trust ME.

He's serious.

He won't let her down again, I promise.

Please?

Aw, you're so handsome.

Just a couple of days. A week. Two at the most.

I can't really give you what I haven't got.

OK.

OK, I'll see what I can do.

-Trouble?

-Tilers are playing up. Nothing I can't handle.

-It's just the old man. Calling in his loan.

-Loan?

Yeah, the readies he gave us to fix up the boozer.

That wasn't a loan, Mick, that was money that he owed us

for all the years of grief he put us through!

It's his money, Shirl.

Doesn't matter which way you argue the toss,

it's his, and he wants it back.

Who wants what back?

Dad. His pound of flesh.

He wants the cash back that he gave to us.

He didn't give us anything, did he? At least, that's the way he sees it.

Who cares how that old git sees anything?

-I do. A debt's a debt.

-It's ten grand, Mick!

I know. And it threw me at first when he said it,

and I'd love to tell him to stick it right up his bottle.

-But I'm not like that.

-Why's he want it, anyway?

STAN: Going to wish me luck, are you?

Blimey, hope the judge don't eyeball me like that.

No, I hope he reaches for the black cap.

Sorry, can you help me?

It came out in the mid-'70s, it's called Misty Blue.

-Please say you've got it. It's important.

-Give me a sec.

-Do you remember it? Hey!

-There you go.

-Result.

No, this is the Eddy Arnold version. I want the Dorothy Moore version.

Just about sums you up, don't it, living in the past?

If it weren't so funny it'd be tragic.

Do you know, Nikki, this time tomorrow I'll be heading off

to a paradise island, looking forward to sipping cocktails

in the sun. Yeah, really tragic.

David Wicks, a happily married man? Do me a favour.

-Do me a favour as well.

-Do you know, we could have had something.

-I don't care what you said to Bianca.

-Do one.

-What have you got to look forward to now?

-A wedding.

-Have you got it or not?

-A lifetime stuck indoors with Mrs Doubtfire.

It's not too late, you know.

-Funnily enough, that's what Bianca told me.

-She was right.

-She told me something else as well.

-Go on.

-How good it felt.

-What?

-David!

-She was certainly right about that one.

HE CACKLES

-You all right, babe?

-Sorry.

So are you going to tell me, or are you going to keep schtum

-all the way to the court?

-Tell you what?

Why you were standing outside the pub like that.

-I wasn't going to come in, was I?

-You looked a right lemon.

Not after yesterday.

You got it wrong yesterday.

If you hadn't have gone charging off like that I'd have told you that too.

This is not Mick or your mum telling you this.

It's me.

Peter, I was thinking - maybe me and Lexi could come with you.

I'm only popping in for a few minutes.

-We could bring a cake or something.

-But I've got Luke on the stall.

That might be what your dad needs, a little family visit, Peter.

All right?

I'm not stopping.

Look Peter. I know I hurt you, all right?

-But I just want to help.

-I'm back, aren't I?

-Shall I get that swiss roll, then?

-Yeah.

-BABY CRIES

-I'll go.

-Pops?

-What?

-What's this?

-Nothing.

Ian?

KNOCK ON DOOR Ian? I know you're in there.

-It's a perk of the job.

-A pickled egg is a perk of the job,

a bag of chips at the end of the night's a perk of the job, all right?

-This is stealing off my boyfriend's dad.

-It ain't my fault.

He's just lost his daughter as well, Pops.

-Mo's been putting the heat on me.

-I don't care if Mo's been frying you alive in the chip fryer!

Look, madam, do you realise we've only got one regular wage

-coming in at the moment?

-Yes, I do!

-And if you don't get rid of this we'll have none.

-How?

-All right.

-Got it.

-Cool.

-Really?

-Yep.

Why are you doing this? Why are you locking yourself away?

And what's with all these boxes?

Something I was going to do. I changed my mind.

I just need some space, OK? But really, I'm fine.

You don't look too fine to me.

-You know how it is. It takes time.

-Yeah.

Little steps, yeah?

-Well, as long as you're actually taking 'em.

-Yes. I'm taking them.

Good.

-Keep your eyes shut while that dries, yeah?

-All right, darling.

-How old were you here?

-What? Oh, 13, 14?

Can't have been much more.

That photo was taken at some grotty school dance.

And look at you now. Jetting off to some fantasy land.

Do you know what? That's all we talked about back then.

Going to live on some desert island somewhere.

Mind you, that was as much to get away from Derek as anything else.

-And Dad remembered.

-Looks like it.

So a leopard can really change its spots, eh?

-Finished?

-Yep.

Well, thank you.

Do you know what? Six months ago I didn't even think I'd be here.

And if you'd have told me

I was going to be putting on my wedding dress...

Thank you so much, both of you.

It's perfect.

Right.

Out of stock. Out of stock...

I don't believe it. No-one online's got it either.

I wonder if that record shop down in Shadwell's still open.

Record shop? What're you talking about, record shop?

-Was that before CDs, was it?

-HE CHUCKLES

She's gonna be floating on air, your sister, when she sees it.

She already is.

-Saw her last night.

-Did you?

I never thought I'd see this day.

Or that I'd be giving you my blessing.

Remind me. Blessing. Ask for it, did I?

Seriously, you mess her about and you'll regret the day

-you ever laid eyes on her, and that's a promise.

-I won't, Max.

And that's a promise as well. Right.

I am going to get this last little surprise sorted, and get myself wed.

Try not to run the place into the ground while I'm away.

Don't think I'll sell that many motors.

I'm a bit Billy no-mates round here at the moment.

Come on, how many times have I been the local pariah, eh? Yeah.

-Listen. Thanks, anyway.

-What for?

Well, you know, standing by me. Everything.

Ride it out, Max. Yesterday's news before you know it - always is.

-Good job, where me and you are concerned. Ta-ta.

-See you there.

HE WHISTLES

We're just going to roll over on this one, are we?

You heard what Mick said.

Oh, Mick does his caveman bit and that's it, is it?

This isn't just our business, Linda, this is our home.

I say stick it, and so do you. And the kids,

they're not exactly going to be happy when they find out, are they?

They've put their heart and soul into this place.

Just for some bitter old man to come along and pull the plug.

-And what's he going to do with it?

-Stick it under the mattress?

Stick it on some three legged bow-wow down at the greyhound track.

Give it to Dean.

-What?

-Give it to Dean.

He's going to get him set up on his own or something.

Oh, Sharon, just the woman.

I don't think I am, not when you're supposed to be

getting married to another one in... When is it?

Yeah. Soon. Very soon. Listen, record shop,

down Shadwell - is it still there, do you know?

I can't find the number, and I'm sure my mum said

-she used to buy the singles for the juke box there.

-Yeah, so did Dad.

-But it closed down, few years ago.

-Oh.

-Moved to Hoxton.

-Did it?

-Yeah. Huge now, apparently.

Yeah, but it's parking in Hoxton. You can't park round there, can you?

-You're looking for records on your wedding day?

-I know.

It is for the wedding, the record. It's the final little touch.

Aw. Pat would have loved all this, wouldn't she?

I finally get to put a smile on the old girl's face,

-and she's not even here.

-She's here.

Yeah, I know.

You know, everyone who's special, everyone you love -

they always are on days like today.

-Sounds like you've got someone special in mind yourself.

-Yeah.

No second chances there.

-But you have, so if you're going to Hoxton, go.

-All right.

Cheers, Sharon. Ta-ta, love.

It's just I saw Sonia and Whitney getting stuff for your buffet yesterday.

-Billy, I told you, my kids don't eat chicken nuggets no more.

-Fish.

-Fish?

-Yeah. Make a lovely centrepiece.

Granted, it's frozen at the moment, but what time's the wedding?

Well, we've got to leave at...12.30?

-Hour and a half.

-It'll be defrosted by the time you get back.

What, is it poached salmon or something?

-Haddock.

-Haddock?

-Yeah.

Do you know what, Billy? I think we're all right for food.

-It's all right, thanks.

-Look, have it anyway. Go on.

Call it a wedding present from me and Lola.

That's unusual.

That's sweet, Billy. That's really sweet, thanks.

Don't thank me - you're hope for us all.

You and David, after all these years.

Fairy tales can come true, can't they?

-I'm off. See ya.

-See you, Billy. Thanks.

So what happened to all that rallying the troops stuff?

You know, taking on Mick?

All changed has it, now that money's for your little boy?

You know, we'd have to go to a loan shark to get that kind of cash.

-Everything we've built up here'd be completely wiped out.

-I know.

And it won't make no difference anyway.

You saw what Dean was like yesterday.

If he gets that money off Stan, we'll probably never see him again.

-You don't have to keep coming round and checking up on me.

-We're not.

I did think you were going into the restaurant this week, though.

Dad, we talked about this. You said it yourself,

it's important for both of us to try and get back to normal.

Peter's just concerned, Ian, that's all. We all are. Aren't we?

I'll stick the kettle on.

-How are you and Lola?

-We came here to talk about you, not us.

Peter, don't let a good thing just slip away, all right?

I've done it once too often myself, all right?

Please don't do it.

Tell you what - why don't you get Billy to babysit?

You and Lola, you can go out.

Spend some time together, just the two of you.

Do you remember when me and Lucy were little?

And we used to come into the caff, wanting to play? You'd give us 50p

and say, "Go play in the park," or, "Get some chips," or something.

I'm not eight years old any more, Dad.

And you're not going to buy me off with a hand-out.

You'd like to spend some time just you and Peter, wouldn't you?

Well, yeah. Of course I would.

Right. There you go. My treat.

Wow. Thanks.

Life's for the living.

That's what you were trying to say to me, wasn't it?

-Don't turn away help.

-Yep.

Same goes for you too, all right?

I'll be fine.

-Is David back?

-No, not yet.

Pulling out all the stops with this surprise, isn't he?

'Hello, this is David Wicks at Deals on Wheels. Please leave a message.'

Come through.

-This is OK, ain't it, Billy?

-Yeah. Course.

I should have phoned, really. We were looking all over the Square for you.

We were just about to go, actually.

It's a surprise, that's all. A nice surprise.

Weren't meant to be seeing you two till next week, was I?

It's all they've been going on about since they finished for half term,

coming over, playing with Daddy.

Starting right now. Who wants to go to the park?

Yes! Their other little mates gone away, yeah?

No, they're still around. PHONE RINGS

-Nothing wrong, is there?

-No, nothing at all.

Sorry. Hello? Hello, Lo.

Yeah. We're going to go to the park.

She can come with us.

Here he is, Al Capone.

Didn't get sent down, then?

Go on, what happened?

Gave the beak a bit of the old soft soap.

I didn't know it was a knock-off, your honour.

-Did the old wounded soldier bit.

-Not too difficult right now, is it?

Got a slap on the wrists and the don't-do-it-again routine.

Just a bit of a fine and a curfew.

So while you lot are all celebrating,

me and my companion have a little business matter to discuss.

I don't see your problem. You hate that boss of yours,

you were telling me, so now's your chance to be your own guvnor.

-What, in Walford?

-I've got to keep an eye on my investment.

Meaning I'll be setting up down the road from the Addams family.

They're not so bad once you get to know them.

But, if you're not up for it, then I'll tell Mick not to bother.

-What's it got to do with Mick?

-Oh, didn't I tell you?

I'll be using the money that I lent them for this place.

RINGING TONE

'Hello, this is David Wicks at Deals on Wheels. Please leave a message.'

-Mum!

->

-Oh, wow!

-Told you I had something new, didn't I?

And, just cos I can...

THEY LAUGH

Anyway, it's not you lot that should be saying "wow",

it's my husband-to-be. Where is he? We've got to go in half an hour.

-It's less than that, actually.

-Call him.

Tell him to come back, give me a surprise another day.

I have. It just keeps going to answerphone.

-Try him again, eh?

-Yeah.

-This ain't right, Mick.

-Yeah, well, it's Dad's money, ain't it?

But you're stumping up money for my son.

If anyone should be doing that, then it should be me.

That's why I didn't tell you,

cos I knew that's what you was going to say.

So we can't even talk about it now?

Add it to the list, eh?

Why did you let me think that about Mum?

You were covered in paint. You wouldn't stop crying.

All I did was just put you in the bath and try to wash it off,

but all you did was keep smashing your hands in the water.

I was just a kid, Mick.

I was a kid bringing up kids. And I know that's not an excuse.

I should leave. You want me to go? Is that it?

What I want...is no more lies.

I just wasn't cut out for it. I wasn't cut out for being...

Being a mum.

But you wasn't, though. That's the point.

Just promise me, no more lies.

'Ere, Linda, you ain't seen my dad, have you?

He should be over at yours, shouldn't he?

-Ain't he getting married today?

-He just nipped out to get my mum a surprise. He must have got delayed.

Dean and I saw him. About an hour ago, was it?

Heading for the Tube.

-He'll be here any second now.

-Course he will.

Just cutting it fine.

Typical.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Robbie.

It's lovely to hear from you, darling.

Yep. Yeah, I'm doing fine.

-Anything?

-No.

I've searched the whole Square.

Nobody's seen him for at least the last hour.

-Have you called him again?

-I've tried, Bianca's tried.

His voicemail must be going into meltdown.

Anything?

Last time anyone seen him, he was going to the Tube.

Yeah, I know, it's so expensive.

-He wouldn't.

-Course he wouldn't. He'll be here any minute.

He should have been here ten minutes ago.

Son, try his phone again.

Robbie sends his love. So. No David yet?

Car's sat waiting, though.

Right. Well, best get myself settled, then.

So I'll be ready for the off.

Look at you. Someone's scrubbed up.

-You look beautiful.

-Thanks.

Where's David? He meeting you there?

Yeah. Must be.

I'm the bride, Max. Always the last to know the arrangements,

-you know that.

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

-Shut the door, darling. Thanks.

-No worries.

-Enjoy.

-See ya.

-See you there.

This is our fault, ain't it?

I knew we should have said something to her.

I did say something. To Grandad.

I said to him, "Unless you're absolutely sure, don't turn up."

This is horrible. I'm getting out of here.

I'm going to sort this.

Him and Dean.

Where are you going to get ten bags from?

I've got a few debts I need to call in.

Argh!

Well done(!) Stupid...

David, we're all ready to go! Mum's already in the car!

Where are you?

Something borrowed.

-Nan's forgotten it.

-I'll give it to her!

SHATTERING

HE PANTS

HE CRIES OUT IN PAIN

HE SPLUTTERS

HE GURGLES