17/06/2014 EastEnders

You can't go on like this, Shirl.

Bottling it up, drinking yourself into oblivion.

I've been there, remember?

I told you, I don't want to talk about it. Not now, not ever.

Well, maybe... maybe I'd better have this conversation with Mick.

You wouldn't dare.

What do you want?

Repeat business, Ian.

Thought you of all people would appreciate that.

No. All right, that night was a one-off, OK?

It's not going to happen again, do you understand?

That's what they all say.

Sharon!

Sharon!

Sharon?

Sharon!

Seriously, I don't know where you put that.

Natural metabolism of youth, innit, Pops?

Well, you do know you're going to be ponying for England tomorrow, don't you?

Well... Oi, do you think we should wait for Johnny?

Sharon seemed really annoyed about them bouncers.

Just leave 'em to it.

No. His little face. What if she sacks him again?

Just turn it in.

No, I've got to ring him.

Hello, John. Have you still got your job?

Nance, it's Sharon. She's been attacked!

What? What you talking about?

She's... There's been a break-in. She's bleeding.

-Wait, wait, calm down. Are you all right?

-What's happened?

No, come...

Yeah, ambulance.

It's The Albert Bar. Turpin Road, E20.

She's not moving and she's bleeding...

-Johnny!

-Yeah. I don't know. She's breathing but...

-You OK?

-It's not...

-I don't know!

-Give me the phone.

Calm down, calm down. Now what happened?

-I dunno. I heard this crash and...

-She's not conscious.

-You sure you're not hurt?

-Yeah. They didn't touch me.

-Yeah, she's got a big cut on her head.

Listen, listen, lucky you was here, all right, son? Jump up, come on.

Yeah, OK. We need to stop the bleeding.

OK, well, then go and get a clean towel from the bar, baby.

I was wrecked that day. I didn't know what I was saying.

You expect me to believe that, eh?

And why the big secret, anyway?

-Just leave it, Phil. I mean it.

-Shirley, I'm not judging you, am I?

After everything that's happened between us I still care about you, don't I?

Then go tell Sharon, cos I ain't worth it.

What are you talking about? I mean, having a kid when you're young...

it's hardly a crime, is it?

What about if you try to drown 'em in the bath?

What are you talking about?

After Mum had left, I tried...

I tried to keep it together but I couldn't hack it.

And then one day I just snapped.

That's the type of person you're talking to here.

What happened?

Shirley, what happened?!

Mick was about one...

And we'd been doing some painting and it got everywhere.

You know what kids are like.

And I put him in the bath...

tried to clean him up...

I didn't know what I was doing until Dad burst in and dragged him out.

You held him underwater? Your own son?

I never meant to!

I never wanted that.

It was just...

in that one moment...that one moment... The taps were running...

he was screaming...

When we got to the hospital, Dad wouldn't let me see him.

That's when they took him into care?

No, not at first.

But things were never the same after that.

They came back to the house, they saw Dad's empty bottles

and what a mess I was in.

And it was only a matter of time before they took Mick and Tina away.

Shirl, that was... It's over 30 years ago.

You can't keep torturing yourself about it.

I have to look at him

every single day, knowing that I can't really be his mum.

Then maybe I deserve that.

SIREN WAILS

'Hi, this is Ian Beale.

'Leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can.'

I like what you've done with this place.

Last time I was round here, this was just some old tat-shack, weren't it, eh?

Straight down to business, then?

Just take it and go, all right?

Stay away from me and stay away from the Square. Do you understand?

What, charming as ever? Ain't you even going to offer me a drink?

How about something to eat? I'm starving.

Are you serious?

Don't tell me you've got that nice big kitchen back there

just for show?

Just so that we're clear, all right? Good Friday never happened.

You've got to stop punishing yourself. It ain't healthy.

How old was you back then, anyway?

-14, going on 15.

-No wonder you couldn't cope.

It's no excuse, is it?

And what about the dad? Where was he in all this?

He'd long gone.

And your old man. I mean, he never...

-No, nothing like that. Is that what you think?

-I don't know, do I?

Do you remember the first time you fell in love?

Yeah, you do, I can tell.

Andy was his name.

Little bit older than me.

Good looking, nothing complicated.

One of three blokes that really ever meant anything to me.

And you and him...?

First time for everything, ain't there?

We had a laugh until I found out he got me into trouble.

And you didn't ever think about, you know...getting rid?

Well, 'course I did. But I was just a kid.

I didn't know what I was doing. It was the '70s. Nobody did.

By the time I got my head round it, Mum had cottoned on.

And Dad, after his old man died,

he wasn't out of the pub long enough to notice.

But for nine months? You're telling me he never knew?

Mum come up with a bright idea.

This cock and bull story that they needed some time apart.

I don't know. I never asked.

We ended up in some grotty little caravan site in the middle of nowhere.

With Aunt Babe and a chemical toilet.

And I swear it rained every single miserable day.

Until we got back.

And Dad had the son he always wanted.

And me and Tina had a little baby brother.

And nobody ever asked any questions.

No, nothing was said. We just carried on.

Aunt Babe and Mum took over and I'd grab a bottle of that,

go down the park and drink to forget.

And Mick? He don't know any of this?

No. And he's not going to.

Why? Why keep on lying?

Because he would never forgive me.

All these years. Haven't you wanted to tell him?

Of course I have.

But the longer it went on, the harder it got.

Once he was taken into care, that was it, I'd lost him.

Blimey.

Shirl, you're both adults now, you're living in the same place.

You could set the record straight any time.

Too late. 37 years too late.

Well, don't you think it's time you said something?

What, so he can see what a train wreck of a mother he's got?

That's right, poor old Shirl, always playing the martyr, ain't you?

Well, he's not going to thank me, is he? Would you? Would anyone?

Shirley, you're his mum.

So what? Look at Carly and Deano.

Fat lot of good I did them.

And don't even get me started on Jimbo.

Mick, he never had the chance for me to screw up his life.

He's come through it all clean. Good. Pure.

Perfect.

-Well, don't you think he deserves to know the truth?

-No.

Cos I don't want to ruin what we've got now.

This stays between us.

SIREN APPROACHES

There's got to be something in here.

-Phil?

-Sharon? Sharon?

-Don't move.

-Right, listen, it's going to be OK. Just try not to move, please, yeah?

-Good girl.

-All right, thank you, the ambulance is here.

-Right, come on, lively. Lively.

-Phil...

I've got to go and get him.

That's it. That's it.

You're all right.

-She's just down there. Round the front.

-Round here, please.

-What's her name?

-Sharon.

Can you hear me?

Listen, I'm not going to say anything to Mick, of course I'm not...

but if you need to talk, you know where I am, don't you?

And you know that you can tell me stuff if you need to?

Just because you're a big hard man

doesn't mean to say you can't let people in.

You're drunk.

And you're bald, but I'll be sober in the morning.

But seriously, you're a good listener when you want to be.

Means a lot.

Night.

Night.

Phil! Phil, I've been trying to find you.

What?

-It's Sharon.

-What?

Do you think she'll be all right?

Let's hope so, eh?

Sharon!

-Sharon!

-Phil!

She came round. She was talking.

-They got here lively.

-What happened?!

-There was a break-in.

-Well, what about the bouncers?

-She sent them home.

-She what?!

That's all I know.

Where was you in all this, eh?

Listen, it weren't his fault.

I reckon he scared 'em off, didn't you?

She was asking for you.

Come on, I'll run you up the hospital. Come on.

It's all changed round here, ain't it, eh?

My old mum still knocking about?

Or have the fags finally finished her off?

Can you hurry up? You're not here for a chat.

What about Tanya?

You all still mates?

No. She doesn't live round here any more.

Funny how things work out, isn't it?

I mean, of all the kerbs in all of London, you had to crawl on to mine.

That night... it was a mistake, OK?

It was a moment of madness.

I had no idea you were going to be there.

Still couldn't resist though, could you?

Look, you've got to stop doing this, all right?

You can't keep calling all hours, all right?

After tonight, I never want to see you again.

You're breaking my heart, Ian.

Look, you've had your money...

Ian? Ian, are you in here?

-It's Denise!

-I'm game if you are.

Get in the kitchen. Go. Get in the kitchen.

Coming, love...

What are you doing over here in the dark?

This is all my fault.

-Shut up. How is it your fault?

-Sharon wouldn't have sent them...

she wouldn't have sent them bouncers home if I hadn't messed up.

Do me a favour. Them meat-heads had it coming all night.

I should've stayed with her but I just...

-Drink that.

-Nah.

The only ones to blame here are the scumbags who actually did it.

Just don't wake Mum and Grandad, yeah?

All right. More chance of waking a doped-up elephant.

I just know they'll think I'm weak and soft.

Like I can't look out for myself.

-Why? Why would they think that?

-You know why.

John, you have nothing to be ashamed of tonight. You know that, don't you?

You try telling that to Mum.

She ain't even bothered showing her face again.

That's her loss.

Look, Nance, I just want to go get some sleep

and see how Sharon's doing in the morning. Please, yeah?

-All right.

-Thank you.

What time do you call this?

Does nobody in this family know how to text?

So come on then, what's your excuse?

Johnny, what's happened?

It's getting on for midnight! When you didn't answer your phone, I didn't know what to think.

I was just sat here thinking about what Peter said...

and maybe he's right.

Oh, come here.

Hey, look, Peter will come around.

And you've got nothing to feel guilty about.

I know. I know.

OK. Look, after the trial, it'll get better. You'll see.

Look, I know nothing can bring Lucy back,

but once it's all over and Jake is in prison...

we can start to put Good Friday behind us, OK?

Come on. Let's get you home.

Look, I'll just clear this up first.

-Ian...

-I'll be five minutes, promise.

Sharon Rickman. Where is she?

Do I have to find her myself? Or search the place...

-Phil... Phil, you've got to calm down.

-Sharon.

I don't need to calm down. I need to find where Sharon is!

-Can I help?

-Sharon Rickman.

-I heard you. Are you family?

-Yeah. Well, as good as, yeah.

-He's her other half. This is Phil Mitchell.

-Where is she?

-She's been taken through to resus.

She has some internal injuries which we're investigating now....

-How bad?

-They're serious but we're working to find the best way to manage them.

We really are doing all we can for her.

She was talking though, right? I mean, that's a good sign, isn't it?

Yeah. And the ambulance guys were amazing.

And are you sure they didn't hurt you?

-Yeah!

-Sit down, you're in shock.

-He's not in shock, Mum.

-Look at him, he's shaking.

-I'm not in shock!

-I'll make us all some hot chocolate.

-Mum, just leave it.

-Mums fuss. It's what we do.

-How many times? I'm fine.

I can't stop thinking about poor Sharon. I'm going to call your dad.

He'd have rung if there was any news, wouldn't he?

-What are you all still doing up?

-There was a break-in at The Albert.

Mick had to give Phil a lift up the hospital.

-Here you are.

-Cheers.

Still no news, I take it?

No. Just waiting.

Linda called. She said they're all thinking of you and Sharon.

She said she'd slip round, go and see Dennis,

see if he's all right if you want.

No, there's no sense in waking him.

Sure?

No.

Jay's looking after him.

Might as well leave 'em until we know something.

You know some people hate the smell of hospitals, don't they?

Disinfectant or whatever it is.

But me, it just reminds me of when my kids were born.

Little Nancy, coming out kicking and screaming. Proper little fighter.

Johnny...

we was in and out of that neo-natal for weeks,

never knew if he was going to make it.

-Kids, who'd have 'em, eh?

-Yeah.

Don't get me wrong, living with Shirl

and having everyone wrapped round me under the same roof...

I've never been happier.

Suppose what I'm trying to say is - that smell,

it reminds me that this place is where people save lives.

It's where miracles happen.

-Mr Mitchell?

-Yeah, what's happening?

-Follow me and we can talk somewhere more private.

I don't need somewhere private. I just need to know how Sharon is.

She's stable for now but there's still some concern.

-We suspect she may have ruptured her spleen.

-Can I see her?

She's unconscious from the anaesthetic she was given in resus.

We're preparing to take her into surgery.

PHONE BEEPS

Right, your taxi's here. I told it to wait on George Street.

Cost a fortune at this hour.

-I've only got twenties.

-Perfect.

Make sure you're not seen.

I'm so sorry about Lucy, by the way.

Doesn't bear thinking about.

Her last night on earth while you and me were...

Yeah. Biggest mistake of my life.

And one that I will have to live with.

You don't have to worry.

I won't breathe a word.

-Thank you.

-It's not something you'd want getting out.

Especially given the circumstances.

No. I appreciate that.

We'll say the same amount tomorrow then, shall we?

What?

Well, what would Denise think if she knew where you really were?

-Never mind Peter.

-Now, hold on a minute.

I can make it the end of the week, or whenever. I'm easy.

-You can't do this.

-Just chill, man. Sounds like you're getting off cheap.

Just the way you like it.

I'll catch you next time, Ian.

Well, we was on the phone to the ambulance people,

but Dad was in there in, like, full action man mode.

I'm so proud of you three.

He was the one who chased 'em off. He should get all the glory.

-That's my sausage.

-It weren't like that.

Don't be so modest. If you hadn't been there to see them off,

Lord knows what might've happened.

-PHONE RINGS

-Sorry, I've still got your phone. It's unknown.

Shall I answer it?

Hello?

I can't imagine what it must've been like.

I worry about your brother halfway round the world

-when something like this happens on your own doorstep.

-It's OK.

-After poor Lucy Beale... makes you think, don't it?

-It's all right.

At least you're all right. You should get danger money for riding to the rescue.

-Look at you...

-MUM! Can you please just leave it? Please!

That was the police. They're round The Albert now.

Well? What did they say?

They're going to come here and ask us some questions.

Fine.

-Sharon!

-You need to wait here.

-I just want to talk to her.

-We have to get her up to theatre. It'll be at least a few hours.

-Sharon, I'm here for you, all right? Sharon!

-Mr Mitchell, please.

-She's in good hands.

Just let them do what they've got to do.

Listen, I'm not being funny or anything, all right, but why don't you get off?

-What, leave you climbing the walls?

-I'm fine, OK?

Thanks for what you did, but I can deal with this on my own.

-You're all right, Mick. I've got this.

-What you doing here?

I thought you could use a mate.

You better get back. Johnny's really shook up.

If you need anything, Phil, you just let me know, yeah?

Get back to your boy, Mick.

We'd closed up for the night. I'd gone upstairs to get my coat...

Were the front doors locked?

-Yeah. I think so. I dunno.

-Can't this wait till the morning? You can see he's shattered.

It's best if we can get as much detail as possible while it's fresh in your mind.

It was kind of all over before I knew it, really.

How many of them were there?

It was dark.

Take your time. Try to remember.

I don't know. Three, maybe.

What did they look like?

Uh...it's all a bit of blur. I can't really think straight.

Maybe tomorrow, eh?

The sooner we can get a description, the better.

I didn't see...

-How about what they were wearing?

-I don't know!

You must've caught a glimpse...

I don't know, cos I was upstairs, all right?

When Sharon was down there, getting battered half to death...

I sat upstairs and hid.

I think that's enough for tonight, don't you?

We'll leave it there for now.

But we'd better speak to your daughter too, if that's OK?

Yeah, course. She's downstairs.

HE SOBS

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

-Thought you hated these places.

-I do. But I owe you.

How you holding up?

I'm not the one in surgery, am I?

Still. Must be rough, though.

Look, Phil, you and Mick, you...

Do you know what, Sharon is fighting for her life in there,

-so right now I couldn't give a monkey's about your little secret, OK?

-Yeah. Sorry.

So what happened at The Albert? Couple of dodgy punters?

How the hell would I know? I was too busy listening to your life story, weren't I?

-Oh, so this is my fault?

-No, it's mine.

What do you mean?

It's all right, they've gone.

Mum, I tried. I tried to tell you.

You didn't have to lie to us.

I didn't lie! Everybody just assumed.

Mum, if I could go back...

We'll have none of that. You did what anyone would've done.

Yeah. Not Dad or Lee or Nancy.

No, they would have gone down there and taken 'em all on.

And who raised the alarm in the first place, eh? You did. That's what matters.

Yeah, but what if... Mum, what if she dies?

That is not going to happen, you hear me?

I wanted to do something... you know, wanted to go down there and help her...

I know, sausage. I know. It's OK.

I don't want another Lee to worry about.

I'd rather my little boy kept himself out of harm's way.

What does that mean?

There's no shame in staying out of trouble.

We both know you've got more sense than to go flying in with your fists.

-You know, I knew you'd be like this.

-What? What've I said?

Mum, I left Sharon to die down there, do you not get that?

She's laid up in that hospital cos of me!

Pipe down, pipe down, you'll wake the old boy up.

Now what's the agg?

Well, go on, then, tell him.

Tell him how proud we must be to have this coward in the family.

Johnny...

You can't blame yourself.

You weren't to know what was happening.

-What if she don't make it?

-She will.

What if she don't?

Stop worrying about that, and worry about finding

the low-lifes that did it and making them pay.

-I can't do that.

-Why?

Cos I'm the one...

I'm the one who sent them over there in the first place.

What?

They was...

They was only meant to scare her.