07/07/2014 EastEnders


07/07/2014

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PATRICK CHUCKLES

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Karaoke, eh?

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Yeah. You going to come over and give us a little number later, Patrick?

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Ah, we'll see. If you're lucky.

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You're popular today. Who's that?

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You remember that guy I met at Pride - Gianluca?

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Yeah. The Italian one?

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Yeah. He's in London, he wants to see me tonight.

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Do you like him?

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Yeah.

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Invite him to this.

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Let me think about that for a minute...

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Absolutely not.

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You scared of what Mum might say?

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No.

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John, you've got to do it at some point.

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Obviously. Obviously.

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Hi. I was just wondering if my magazine had arrived yet?

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Yeah, it might have. If it is, it's somewhere in one of those.

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Hi.

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-Sorry. Can you come back?

-Man, you keep saying that.

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I could have ordered it on the internet

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if I knew how to get online.

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Is everything all right?

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HE GRUMBLES

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Hey.

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You happy?

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Sure.

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Pity we can't stay in bed all day.

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Why don't you get yourself up and I'll buy us a late breakfast?

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OK.

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Get your trotters off the table.

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You'll have to shoot off in a minute.

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-I'm not doing any harm.

-I know and I don't care.

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I've got to prepare Linda's surprise

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and this is going to be a nice ladies' spa room.

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All the more reason to stay.

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You lot are no fun.

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I'd better go and knock for Cora.

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-Sorry, knock for Cora? What are you, 12?

-SHE LAUGHS

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What a cheek. I don't look a day over 11.

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Have we heard anything from Shirley yet?

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No. I've text her, but I've heard nothing back.

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She'll come around. The wanderer always returns.

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Right. So... Pinot Grigio.

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Got a facial cleansing mask...

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We've got aromatherapy oils. Lovely. Oh, a cucumber.

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-Ooh! Why've we got a cucumber?

-For her minces!

-Oh.

-All right.

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Ah, peppermint foot lotion.

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No way am I rubbing her feet.

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You will be rubbing her feet. I need you to keep her upstairs.

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-For how long?

-For as long as it takes.

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But what if she puts on ABBA?

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-Then you're going to get up and you're going to dance.

-SHE GROANS

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Why you can't just tell us what the surprise is?

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Cos you and Johnny are too easily bribed.

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-Don't worry. You'll find out later.

-Is it a stripper?

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What're you talking about strippers for? Don't need strippers.

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Look at me. I've got the body of a swimmer.

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-SHE LAUGHS

-Seriously, listen,

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it'll mean a lot to her, you spending a bit of time with her.

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< Mick?

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In the living room.

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I thought we agreed we weren't going to have karaoke?

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Hello. What's all this for?

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It's for you!

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What was that? Did I hear someone say "indoor spa day?"

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-SHE SHRIEKS HAPPILY

-Nancy!

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HAPPY SIGH

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Here.

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Medical journal? Are you sure this is what he ordered?

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Yeah. I remember thinking it was weird at the time.

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So why didn't you tell me?

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You don't think there's something wrong with him, do you?

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I do now.

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TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

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Aw! Look at William! How cute is he?

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-Are you sure he's yours, Pops?

-Oi! I'm gorgeous, I am.

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Yeah. So he's doing well, then, is he?

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Looks like it.

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-Living the American dream, eh?

-Except they're in Canada.

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All right - living the Canadian dream, then.

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I don't think there's such a thing.

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Pops, I know you miss him, but you've just got to try and look

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on the bright side now - you get to spend more time with Janet an' that.

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Yeah.

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DRINK POURS

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BIRDS TWEET

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What's this?

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Sounds distinctly like a woodland forest on a beautiful

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summer's morning to me, Mother.

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-What? I chose it specially.

-It's a bit weird.

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-It's relaxing. Now close your eyes, please.

-OK.

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Just go with it.

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Let the sound of the...wood and the...

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..song of the bird wash over you.

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Find your happy place - your inner you...

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-Who is Linda?

-Are you on something?

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-Fine! I won't do it, then!

-Oh, Nance!

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No. I hated it anyway.

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-I'm only teasing you!

-It was stupid.

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It was a little bit stupid.

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Cos, I mean, we can pretend we're in a woodland forest but at the

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end of the day we're in the living room and it's just you and me.

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-And, actually, that's all I want. That IS my happy place.

-Aw!

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If you get rid of all Stan's horrible stuff.

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Shall I just do the face masks?

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Yuck!

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I was just coming to look for you. Fancy a cuppa?

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I feel like something stronger.

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Well, we can still have a stiff drink in the caff.

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Have you never heard of an Irish coffee?

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You old devil.

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You sure you're OK?

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Yeah. I'm as right as rain, why?

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You ordered the thing. Why didn't you tell me?

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What am I supposed to think?

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HE CHUCKLES

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You silly woman!

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Look now, man. It's my son, Anthony.

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He's written an article about his time in Cambodia.

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Look at him, man. My boy! Handsome like his father, eh?

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-So why you didn't tell me about this?

-You didn't ask me.

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I didn't mean it like that.

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You've had so much on your plate lately.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Look at him. My boy...

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Yeah, man.

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-All right, Dad?

-Hi, Tina.

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I feel like I owe you an apology for not going with you to see Aunt Babe.

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-It's fine.

-You're upset with me.

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-I just feel a bit judged, that's all.

-Judged?

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You've obviously got your reservations.

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Yes, of course I have.

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I've got a lot going on at the moment.

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But I get it, Tina. You're doing it for your family.

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And because of that I'm willing to turn a blind eye.

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MUSIC: "In The Waiting Line" by Zero 7

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This is the life, ain't it?

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Mmm.

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Where's your cucumber? Oh Nancy!

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I'm going to go down and get some more Pinot.

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-No!

-Why?

-I'll go.

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-No, no, you're all right. I'll go.

-No, no, no. I'll go.

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-Honestly.

-Mum, you're relaxing.

-Yeah, and you're hiding something.

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I don't know what you're talking about.

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Nancy, I weren't born yesterday.

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So you'd better tell me what's going on.

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SHE GROANS

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-What are you saying? You thought he wasn't well?

-Yeah.

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But he's all right?

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It just turns out it's cos Anthony was in that magazine.

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-Right, so what's the problem?

-Well, there wasn't one.

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-So why are we having this conversation?

-I feel bad.

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You know, I haven't been around for him much lately.

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But there's nothing wrong with him.

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If there was. I've just been so distracted with all this...

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Distracted?

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I didn't mean it like that.

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No, no, no. It's fine. Don't let me distract you any more.

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I'd hate to keep you from someone else's non-existent problems.

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Come on, you know that's not what I meant.

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Denise, I really haven't got time for this. All right.

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If it bothers you that much, go and talk to Patrick.

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Here.

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It's not my style.

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Why? I think it'd look lovely on you.

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You don't like the way I dress. I'm representing the council.

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I need to look smart.

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So what's your excuse for when you're not representing the council?

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HE TUTS

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Come on. I'm only playing with you.

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But you're not, are you?

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I just think you could afford to mix it up a little bit.

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You think a jacket will fix him, do you?

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Oi, oi, oi. Leave it. He's not worth it. Just leave it.

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I'll tell you what, come on. I want to go clubbing.

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-I fancy busting some moves.

-I don't feel like it.

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Why? Cos you can't dance?

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-As a matter of fact, I'm an excellent dancer.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

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It isn't a power cut. You sure it isn't a fuse?

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Nah. Probably just some dodgy wiring. Don't worry about it.

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I'll have a look.

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Well, if I pop to the shop I'm not going to come back to find

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-you've been electrocuted, am I?

-Don't be stupid. Go on. Go.

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-Be careful.

-Yeah.

-See ya.

-See ya later.

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DOOR CLOSES

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I knew it was too good to be true.

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What?

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Me and you having girlie time together.

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When you were little, me and your dad bought you

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this Princess Jasmine costume for a party.

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Did you hair in bunches. Covered in sequins.

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You looked lovely. Anyway, we dropped you off

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and we weren't five minutes down the road when your dad's mobile rang.

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We had to turn around and come straight back -

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you'd ripped off the costume and were running

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around in your pants, covered in mud, playing football with the boys.

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NANCY LAUGHS What can I say?

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I'm more of a World Cup girl than a beauty queen, Mum.

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I know. And I've accepted that fact.

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And that I'll never get you in a dress.

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Still, if this is what it takes to spend time with you

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I might as well go with it.

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Go with what?

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Or of course, I could always tell your dad you slipped up

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and it's game over?

0:11:580:12:00

It's up to you...

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SHE GROANS

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I'll go and get the wine.

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Good! I'll put on the ABBA.

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NANCY GRUMBLES

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SHE CHUCKLES

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That's lovely. You must be really proud.

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Yeah. I always said he'd do well.

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And now he's in magazines.

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-Can I have a look at it?

-Yeah, yeah...

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Have you got a minute?

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-Give it here.

-What for?

0:12:310:12:34

I just... I wanted to apologise

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if it feels like I haven't been around for you lately.

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What are you talking about?

0:12:400:12:42

Why didn't you tell me about the article?

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-Oh, come on. It's just an article.

-But it's important to you.

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Like I said before, you've got a lot on your plate with Ian.

0:12:490:12:53

What are you so worried about?

0:12:530:12:55

Well, you know. It's just, you know, when I saw the medical journal

0:12:550:12:59

I thought something might be wrong...

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But there isn't, is there? I'm fine.

0:13:030:13:06

And you'd tell me, though, if there was?

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Of course, my baby.

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It's just, I don't want you to feel that

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I take our friendship for granted.

0:13:180:13:21

Libby and Chelsea are getting on with their lives

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and Kim's off with her new man.

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You...

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You're the only true friend I've got, the only one who listens.

0:13:300:13:34

Is there still trouble with Ian?

0:13:360:13:38

He hasn't got time for my problems. I mean, why would he?

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Because he should.

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Do you want me to have a word with him?

0:13:470:13:49

No. No, honestly. This. This is enough. All right.

0:13:490:13:55

Hey. I'll take that.

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-Very impressive.

-Thanks.

0:14:030:14:05

Stan...

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How's it coming along?

0:14:130:14:15

Yeah. Getting there.

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Dad...

0:14:180:14:19

Yes, son?

0:14:190:14:21

Could I run something by you?

0:14:210:14:23

Course you can.

0:14:230:14:25

Tonight, would it be weird if I asked...

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Hold on a minute. What's the matter? Is everything all right?

0:14:280:14:32

Have we got any of that Pinot Grigio that Mum likes?

0:14:320:14:35

Yes. Cop for that.

0:14:350:14:36

You do realise she's put on ABBA, don't you?

0:14:360:14:38

-Yeah, all right.

-PHONE BEEPS

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Ah! He's here.

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He?

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Get yourself upstairs and keep your trap shut. All right.

0:14:490:14:53

MUSIC: "Dancing Queen" by ABBA

0:14:560:15:00

# You can dance

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# You can jive

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# Having the time of your life... #

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MUSIC FADES

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SHE LAUGHS ECSTATICALLY

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Wine! What?

0:15:260:15:28

I know what my present is!

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How?!

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SHE SHRIEKS EXCITEDLY

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You don't know how happy I am to see that boat.

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-Right, just stop there.

-What are we down here for?

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In case your mum comes down busying herself.

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-I fancy a pint.

-All right.

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Listen, you'll get your pint, but I've got to get you in here first.

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What for?

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We're going to wrap you up, surprise for your mum.

0:15:510:15:54

You're having a laugh. I've been on a plane for hours and a packed tube.

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Why do you want me getting in that?

0:15:570:15:59

Shut up. You'll be in here five minutes, tops. All right.

0:15:590:16:01

What's the matter with ya?

0:16:010:16:04

-Let me out! I want to see him!

-No.

-Why?

0:16:040:16:06

This is all my fault. I was supposed to be distracting you.

0:16:060:16:09

-Oh, well. You failed.

-Dad's going to kill me.

-Let me out!

0:16:090:16:11

No, Mum, please...

0:16:110:16:13

SHE GROANS

0:16:130:16:14

All right, fine.

0:16:140:16:16

-I've just thought of something.

-What?

0:16:200:16:22

They don't know that we know, which means we can have some fun...

0:16:230:16:31

THEY BOTH CACKLE

0:16:310:16:33

Ian, I was wondering if I could have a word?

0:16:420:16:45

Yeah, sure. What is it?

0:16:450:16:47

Remember, I lost a son...

0:16:480:16:51

So I know the pain you're going through.

0:16:510:16:55

I know what it does to you.

0:16:550:16:56

Denise doesn't begrudge being there whenever you need her -

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she's a good woman like that -

0:17:030:17:05

always puts the need of others before her own.

0:17:050:17:07

-I know.

-Good.

0:17:070:17:09

But be careful not to take her for granted.

0:17:090:17:11

Listen to her once in a while.

0:17:120:17:16

Sometimes I found listening to other people's concerns

0:17:160:17:19

actually helped to ease my problems for a little while.

0:17:190:17:22

Yeah, man.

0:17:230:17:24

Well, I'll leave you to get on with it. All right.

0:17:270:17:30

The players are about to get played!

0:17:410:17:44

OK. Sit down.

0:17:440:17:46

Wait, wait, that's gel spray!

0:17:470:17:49

Nah, it's empty. I filled it up with water. Close your eyes.

0:17:490:17:52

Will you do me favour?

0:17:530:17:55

Will you text Dean and see if he'll bring his decks tonight?

0:17:550:17:58

What's wrong with karaoke?

0:17:580:18:01

Mum, you can't let what happened put you off karaoke forever.

0:18:010:18:06

Other people doing karaoke...

0:18:060:18:08

My feelings were just hurt a bit, that's all.

0:18:080:18:11

I'd feel more comfortable if we had a disco. Please.

0:18:110:18:14

Course. It's your party. I'll text Dean.

0:18:140:18:16

-But you can deal with Dad.

-All right. Thank you.

0:18:160:18:20

This isn't so bad after all, is it?

0:18:200:18:22

THEY LAUGH

0:18:220:18:23

MICK SHOUTS

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Act sick!

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Right. Your present's here.

0:18:300:18:32

SHE GROANS

0:18:320:18:33

What's the matter?

0:18:350:18:37

She's got a temperature, Pop. She's burning up.

0:18:370:18:40

It was that foot rub Nancy gave me, I think

0:18:400:18:43

it released a lot of toxicity.

0:18:430:18:46

What're you talking about, toxicity?

0:18:460:18:48

I don't know, Mick. I'm not a doctor.

0:18:480:18:51

Come and open your present. Come on, it'll make you feel better.

0:18:510:18:55

Is it a magic present?

0:18:550:18:56

She needs some rest, Pop. She's really not well.

0:18:560:18:59

-Do you want me to get you a nice cold flannel?

-Yeah.

0:18:590:19:01

SHE COUGHS WEAKLY

0:19:070:19:09

Wow. Who is this gorgeous, fashionable man?

0:19:210:19:25

You didn't have to buy it.

0:19:250:19:27

A new jacket every now and then won't do any harm.

0:19:270:19:30

Just know that you won't be going anywhere near my hair.

0:19:300:19:33

Oh, really? We'll see about that, won't we?

0:19:330:19:35

So, listen, is this cos of what Alfie said earlier?

0:19:350:19:37

Don't be silly.

0:19:370:19:39

SHE LAUGHS

0:19:390:19:41

Good. Because I wouldn't want to change you.

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I like you just the way you are.

0:19:440:19:46

Admittedly a little bit more in that jacket.

0:19:460:19:49

Come on. Let's go clubbing.

0:19:490:19:50

Wow. Where did you train?

0:19:520:19:55

HE GASPS

0:20:150:20:17

-LEE:

-Hello?

0:20:430:20:44

What?

0:20:440:20:46

Nothing. You'd gone quiet. I thought you'd gone.

0:20:460:20:50

No, I'm still here. I'm just thinking.

0:20:500:20:53

About what?

0:20:540:20:55

I've met someone.

0:20:590:21:01

A boy?

0:21:020:21:04

Yeah. And he wants to see me tonight.

0:21:040:21:07

Right?

0:21:090:21:11

And I dunno what to tell him.

0:21:110:21:14

Invite him.

0:21:140:21:15

You know, I want to, but I think it'd be a bit weird.

0:21:160:21:20

It can't be any weirder than this conversation.

0:21:200:21:23

I dunno. I don't want to upset Mum. It's her party.

0:21:230:21:27

I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

0:21:270:21:30

Johnny, listen, mate, right. I've been away, seen a few things.

0:21:300:21:35

It gives you a bit of perspective on life, and us lot...

0:21:350:21:38

we've been wrapped up in cotton wool.

0:21:380:21:41

It's not Mum and Dad's fault - they do it out of love.

0:21:410:21:44

But sometimes you've got to think for yourself,

0:21:440:21:47

do what makes you happy and not worry about what other people think.

0:21:470:21:51

Do you like him?

0:21:510:21:52

Yeah.

0:21:540:21:56

Does he make you happy?

0:21:560:21:57

He makes me laugh.

0:21:590:22:01

Is he fit?

0:22:010:22:02

Just a bit.

0:22:040:22:05

LEE LAUGHS

0:22:050:22:07

Right. Then I for one want to meet him. So do it.

0:22:070:22:09

-Do you think so?

-Yes, you muppet.

0:22:090:22:11

-All right. I'm going to do it.

-Good man.

0:22:130:22:16

Now do me a favour and go and find out what's going on

0:22:160:22:19

-cos I'm busting for the loo.

-Thanks, man.

0:22:190:22:22

LEE WHISTLES

0:22:260:22:28

You still all right about me leaving early for Linda's party?

0:22:290:22:32

Yeah, of course I am. I'll see you later.

0:22:320:22:34

-HE LAUGHS You behave.

-Always!

0:22:340:22:37

No! I'm half cut already!

0:22:420:22:45

Only half? Then you've got a lot of catching up to do, haven't you?

0:22:450:22:50

Hiya. Can I get change for that please?

0:22:500:22:52

Yeah. Those two are really getting on my nerves.

0:22:520:22:55

And getting drunk by the looks of it.

0:22:550:22:58

-You're joking?

-No.

0:22:580:22:59

So you think this is funny, eh?!

0:23:010:23:03

THEY GIGGLE

0:23:030:23:05

You're behaving like a wrinkly old pair of children.

0:23:050:23:07

Patrick, let me see that?

0:23:070:23:09

Patrick's right. You've had your fun, now clear off.

0:23:090:23:12

If I catch you bringing booze in here again,

0:23:120:23:15

-I'm going to ban both of you from coming in this place.

-Oh, dear.

0:23:150:23:18

STAN AND CORA LAUGH

0:23:180:23:19

I can get Denise to order you a new one.

0:23:190:23:21

No, no. All right. Forget it.

0:23:210:23:23

Did you fix it?

0:23:310:23:32

No, not yet.

0:23:320:23:34

-What was it?

-I don't know.

0:23:340:23:36

-Right. Well, we'd better phone someone, then? Maybe Phil?

-No!

0:23:360:23:41

Right, what are you not telling me?

0:23:410:23:43

All right, look. You've got to keep this to yourself. OK?

0:23:450:23:48

I've been running our electricity off of Aleks' flat.

0:23:480:23:52

-Eh? How's that even possible?

-It's quite straightforward actually.

0:23:520:23:56

Are you off your head or something, Pops? Why?

0:23:560:23:59

Because I'm skint, Lo!

0:23:590:24:01

I'm completely skint.

0:24:020:24:03

I love having Janet here, but she's burning a hole in my pocket.

0:24:050:24:09

This single parenting lark - it isn't easy, you know.

0:24:090:24:12

SHE SCOFFS You're telling me?

0:24:120:24:14

Sorry.

0:24:140:24:16

Right, well, you can't keep this up.

0:24:160:24:19

What if they find out?

0:24:190:24:21

-I don't see what choice we've got.

-What are we going to do, then?

0:24:210:24:24

I need to get up to that fuse board.

0:24:240:24:27

Now, I know Tosh is out, but I don't know about Tina and Aleks.

0:24:270:24:31

I've seen Tina going into the cafe

0:24:310:24:32

and I'm pretty sure I've seen Aleks going off somewhere with Roxy.

0:24:320:24:35

Good. Right...

0:24:350:24:38

You ain't breaking in.

0:24:380:24:40

I don't have to.

0:24:410:24:43

Where did you get them?

0:24:430:24:45

Aleks' flat is one of Janine's old properties.

0:24:450:24:47

I just managed to hold on to 'em.

0:24:470:24:49

Don't worry. I'll be as quick as I can.

0:24:490:24:51

NANCY AND LINDA GIGGLING

0:24:540:24:55

-They know.

-How do you know?

-Hark at 'em giggling.

0:24:550:24:58

Yeah...but hang on.

0:24:580:25:00

-They don't know that we know that they know.

-No.

0:25:000:25:02

We can't leave Lee in a cardboard box all afternoon, though.

0:25:020:25:06

GIGGLING STOPS

0:25:090:25:10

Having fun in here, girls, are we?

0:25:100:25:12

Apart from my fever, you mean?

0:25:120:25:15

Yeah. Was thinking, perhaps I should take your little temperature.

0:25:150:25:19

-I've already done it.

-Always good to get a second opinion.

0:25:190:25:21

Yes, it's always very good to get a second opinion.

0:25:210:25:24

How can you question me in my hour of need?

0:25:240:25:26

-Cos you're not ill, are you?

-I am ill, I'm really ill!

0:25:260:25:29

-And you know!

-Know what?

-How did you find out?

0:25:290:25:31

Find out what? I don't know what you're on about!

0:25:310:25:33

You know what I'm talking about.

0:25:330:25:34

-SHE LAUGHS

-Stop it!

0:25:340:25:35

-Sorry, I really needed to go.

-Lee!

-Lee!

-My baby!

0:25:350:25:39

Happy birthday, baby. I'm sorry it's late.

0:25:390:25:42

-I don't care. It's perfect.

-Not so hard!

0:25:420:25:44

Good cos I lost the receipt years ago.

0:25:440:25:47

Right, I really need to go wee!

0:25:470:25:49

SHE LAUGHS HAPPILY

0:25:490:25:50

They drew a moustache on it?! What are they, school-children?

0:25:530:25:57

-How's Patrick?

-He seemed pretty angry.

0:25:570:25:59

I would be! I'm going to go and see him.

0:25:590:26:03

Will you do me a favour, Shabnam?

0:26:030:26:04

Can you just order us another magazine, please?

0:26:040:26:07

-Yeah, of course.

-Thank you.

0:26:070:26:08

SHE GASPS

0:26:240:26:26

Billy! What the hell are you doing here?!

0:26:260:26:29

I'm back for a month

0:26:320:26:33

and then I'm off to Chatham in August to do this plumbing course.

0:26:330:26:36

Right. So you're going to be around quite a bit more, yeah?

0:26:360:26:39

Yeah, course he is.

0:26:390:26:40

Well, I can handle Chatham. It's lot closer than Afghanistan.

0:26:400:26:43

Oh, I'm so happy that you're back. Tonight's going to be perfect!

0:26:430:26:47

Yeah. And while we're all here and in such a good mood...

0:26:470:26:51

I thought I'd ask... I was, maybe, thinking...

0:26:510:26:55

Shirl...

0:26:550:26:56

Denise?!

0:27:040:27:06

What?

0:27:060:27:08

-You might want to sit down.

-Why?

0:27:080:27:11

-Cos I'm going to apologise.

-Oh, right.

0:27:110:27:13

Someone hasn't been to see you this afternoon by any chance?

0:27:130:27:17

I needed to hear it. OK.

0:27:170:27:20

I'm going to be a better listener from now on, I promise you.

0:27:200:27:24

I've got to, haven't I?

0:27:260:27:29

We've got a wedding to plan.

0:27:290:27:30

I thought we could go over some dates over dinner?

0:27:320:27:35

I'd like that.

0:27:380:27:39

HE GASPS, GLASS SHATTERS

0:27:590:28:01

HE BREATHES UNSTEADILY

0:28:120:28:15

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