10/11/2015 EastEnders

Baby, it's one more day. He's fine, stay. He'll be fine.

Baby, you pumped enough milk for the whole Square to have a bang on it.

OK? So - just everyone's fine, don't worry. It's sweet.

-Morning, darling!

-Yeah, she's behaving.

She's as good as gold.

I love you, too. I'll call you later.

Honestly, Mick, you've got to be careful with these cheap toys.

He could choke on them.

Right. The troops won't rally themselves, will they?

Are you sure you left my keys on the side?

Will you relax? Paul's got a spare set.

I need my keys, Rox.

I will find them later. Come here, come here.

I've been doing some research.

This seafood restaurant is right down the road from the house

we're viewing later and I'm going to let you treat me and Amy to dinner.

-OK.

-And come here. I've also been looking at local salons.

I thought it was important to check out the competition - do you know what I mean?

Tell you what, I'll buy you dinner and you leave the business stuff to me, OK?

-PHONE RINGS

-That's Paul. I'm late. I've got to go.

You're not that late.

PHONE RINGS

Your flat? You cleared Blades out into your own flat?

-Yeah. What's the matter with that?

-I told you to use a lockup.

I thought you wanted to get rid of it fast.

No, we were going to move it once I found a discrete buyer.

Look, Ron, I need to get down to Kent.

No, Billy. I'm trying to ruin Dean. I don't want to give him the opportunity to put you in handcuffs.

What were you going to do? Sell it on the market in plain sight?

This cannot come back to us. Use your head, Billy.

Now I know we hit some bumps in the road yesterday.

I'm sorry - bumps? You racially insulted my boyfriend, Nan.

And I'm sorry if anything I said was taken the wrong way.

But if we all pull together,

I reckon we can make TwoferTuesdays a staple in the Walford diary.

Now we've all got our jobs to be getting on with,

so when I ring this bell, the slate is clean and work begins, right?

So - let's get cracking.

Come, on baby. It's a start, ain't it?

I've been trying to call you.

I know I know. I got held up. Are all the girls in?

The door was open when I got here. They've taken everything.

I don't believe this.

You know you're the only woman in my life who ain't driving me mad at the moment, don't you, baby, eh?

Popping out again, are we?

Yeah, I've got a bit of running about to do

so I thought I'd take her on a little mooch.

Right.

Linda's been sending me photos of her dresses all morning.

Nice to see our girl so happy, ain't it?

Yeah - music to our ears, ain't it? Come on, baby. Come on, then.

There's a good girl.

I'm guessing you haven't found those keys yet?

-Oh, give me a chance. I haven't looked yet.

-Don't bother. You're not going to find them.

-What you on about?

-We've been cleared out, Rox. The door was left wide open.

-What?

-Are you deaf?

Do I need to draw you a picture of my empty salon?

-Oi! What's happened?

-Ask her.

Hold on a minute. I locked up and I brought your keys home.

-I know I did.

-How come there's no sign of a break-in, then?

No glass, no broken locks.

-I don't know! why don't you call the police?

-It's not Ocean's 14.

You left the keys in the door and I got robbed. Case closed.

-I'll tell you what, I'm going to find those keys and when I do, I want an apology.

-Oh, yeah?

Right.

Right, let's think this through.

You're insured, ain't ya?

I don't think my policy is going to cover me

for dopey cows leaving keys in the front door.

Oh, come on. Anyone can make a mistake. No-one was hurt.

Count yourself lucky.

Lucky? I just lost ten grand's worth of equipment!

Not to mention a brand-new coffee machine that she made me buy.

-I didn't even got it out of the box yet.

-Coffee machine?

Not one of those new poncy ones with the milk frother?

Yeah, that's it. 400 quid's worth.

-That's funny.

-Trust me, it's not.

It is, it's funny because I saw Lanky Bob in the bookie's today.

He said Billy Mitchell was in there earlier.

His mate's got one for sale - cheap. Brand-new, still in its box.

-Billy Mitchell?

-Yeah. I'll deal with it.

No, no, no, no. You leave this to me.

-All right.

-PHONE RINGS

You should have heard her on the phone.

Talking about dresses and flowers. She was in her element.

Yeah, and in the meantime her mother's got her feet

so far under your table she's horizontal.

I'm sorry I let you down with Ollie yesterday.

But I don't want to lay all this on L. Not now.

He's my grandson too, Mick.

At this rate, when am I going to see him? When he starts shaving?

I told you, you will.

I just don't want to do it behind her back.

I don't want to take the risk. She's happy.

So she's happy being bride-to-be and everybody else has to suffer?

Do me a favour, don't talk to me about suffering

when you're going home to the root of our problem.

I just want you to know that he's got two nans.

Not just Lady Muck.

-I know, I know.

-Craig!

-Oh!

-CAT MEOWS

I promised Honey that I'd be there for Will's birthday.

But now she's not even returning my texts.

I'm sorry things are a bit tight for you at the moment, Billy.

But she'll understand. You are a good man.

-No, I ain't.

-Yes, you are.

You work hard to try and provide for your family.

She could've done a lot worse than you.

Here, you take this and put it towards your train fare.

No, Pam, I can't take it...

Yes, you can.

You need to let that girl know how you really feel.

Billy...

..life's too short for what ifs.

I only let her off the lead for a minute.

-Well, it ain't our fault her cat's a coward.

-He's a cat.

Of course he's scared when a massive dog chases him down.

Chases him down? Her?

It takes her half an hour to get out of bed in the morning.

He was so brave at the vet's this morning.

He's had his tail off, look.

No, he hasn't. It's his breed, he's a rumpy riser.

Bit like Buster this morning!

I can't have shut the cage properly...

Look at him, he's terrified.

Won't he jump down when he wants some munch?

No, he don't jump. He's scared of heights, same as me.

Well, he got up there quick enough, didn't he?

All right, I'll climb up there and I'll grab him.

-No. He won't go to you, Mick.

-Why?

-He don't like men.

-What?

-He don't like men touching him.

-Bit like our Tina!

I'll give YOU a leg up and you can grab him.

No, I told you, I'm scared of heights.

Besides, my neck's stiff after Bikram last night.

-Who?

-Well, what do you want to do, then?

What?

You, in a baby music class?

Why? I thought we'd go check it out.

What? I've heard her mum sing in the shower.

-She must take after you.

-All right, listen,

it's going to take more than some Daddy Day Care act to

get round me, all right?

OK, bye-bye.

And if there's a girl called Kelly there, watch her.

Cos she's a little biter.

Listen, it's me again.

I've just popped into Blades and then I knocked up at yours.

Can you give me a call when you get a chance?

-Cheers. Bye.

-There you go, love. Thanks very much.

Hey. Have you seen Rox?

She's probably busy trying to get back in Dean's good books.

What do you mean "good books"?

She left the key in the door of Blades last night.

-Someone cleared the place out.

-What?

Yeah, he's got a temper on him, that boy.

Just like his mother. Gave her a right ear-bashing this morning.

What are you telling me? He blames Roxy?

It's crazy, ain't it?

I mean, who would want to turn over a hairdresser's?

Can't trust anyone these days, can you?

I've got one life, he's got nine. Work that one out.

Right, if you don't, she's going to call Denise or someone over.

It's going to get back to the kids that we were together.

Well, the sooner they know, the better.

Thought you was going to give that the elbow, for Jade.

Those patches give me a rash.

Just go. I'll sort something out.

If you drop me, I will kill you.

I won't drop you, all right?

SHE SIGHS

I need to speak to Roxy.

About what?

Why can't we just throw a shoe at it?

-No, what if you hit him?

-Well, then we can all go home happy.

Shirl, just keep still.

Engage your core, Shirley. That's what I do with Bikram.

What you do with Vikram, keep to yourself, all right?

-Who?

-Please, just liven up, Shirl. Please.

-Just both shut up.

-You need to talk to him.

I ain't a cat whisperer.

You have to. That's what I do when he's anxious.

It soothes him.

Come here, boy.

His name's Craig.

Craig? Who calls a cat Craig?

I love my Strictly, don't I?

You love your what?

Right. Craig... Craig.

No. Shirley, you have to do it like this... "Craig Revel Horwood!"

There is no way that is happening.

Shirl, please?!

Craig Revel Horwood!

Rox? Rox?

Oh, come on, Dean, it's not that big a flat, you'd know if she went out.

I'm not her keeper. She comes and goes as she likes.

Buster said you'd had a row.

A row? It was far too one-sided to be a row.

Is she in the bedroom? Can I have a word?

Ah! You need a warrant to search someone's house.

You're not going in my bedroom.

If you've done anything to her...

Like what?

-Anything.

-What do you think I am?

Right, I'm going to give you two choices, OK?

Get out of my way, or I'm going to make you get out of my way.

How about I give you two choices?

Give me the keys to my shop back...

or I'm going to the police about you and Billy.

Look at my baby. They saved you, didn't they?

I owe you both a drink later.

Don't worry about it, you're all right.

No, you didn't have to help. I owe you.

Anyway, I better dash. Denise has been minding the stall all morning.

Do us a favour. You couldn't keep this schtum, could you?

Why? Everything OK?

Yeah, yeah, we've just had a warning about her being off the lead before.

-You know what people are like.

-Oh, I see.

And I've got a reputation to keep.

I don't want people thinking I'm going soft now, do I?

Thanks, see you later.

Ta-ta.

What do you want, Dean?

A bit of respect would be nice. Billy Mitchell? Come on.

Respect?

Five minutes ago you were pretending that you'd locked my sister

up in the bedroom.

Sorry? I'm not the bad guy here.

That's you, you robbed my salon.

And as far as your sister is concerned, she's happy.

We are happy - and you just don't like it.

Never underestimate how far I will go to protect her.

Hello!

Well, maybe I'll let her know how far you'd go myself.

Hey.

All right?

That cat has got a serious problem.

Who? "Craig Revel Horwood"?

Get stuffed!

Ever since...

All I've been trying to do is make Linda happy.

I heard her today and I thought, that's my L.

That's how she used to sound.

I just want to hold on to that for five minutes, you know?

I just don't want Dean getting wind of it.

Not while we're going through the application with Jade.

Well, when she gets back, I'll tell her about you and me.

I promise.

Why don't you go back? Before she changes the locks.

Tell you what, why don't we go

and find a pub where Elaine ain't pulling the pints?

I'll treat you to a nice booze, yeah?

Come on, then.

Come on, then, baby. Come on.

OK, look, I'm sorry,

I know it's probably not the best quality stuff you've ever seen.

But she said to me if we need anything else, just give her a call.

-Is everything all right?

-Yeah.

You weren't picking up so I thought you might need some help.

-But it looks like you're all sorted. I'll see you later.

-See you later.

You not going to tell her?

What, me? Tell me what?

Your sister has offered to pay for the refurb of the salon

and cover our costs until we're back on our feet.

No. I mean...the money.

You're buying me out of my half of the house. It's too much.

That's what I said but she insisted.

Really?

Mm-hmm, yeah.

Ron. Thank you so much. Thank you.

There is one condition, however.

Seeing as we had to cancel that viewing, we'll do dinner here, yeah?

Yes.

No arguments.

How about this?

Yes.

I call it "Lady on the streets, freak in the sheets".

Don't you think you should maybe just slow down a bit?

Have you seen these heels? I'm celebrating.

Celebrating what?

My re-introduction into the wild. You were right.

-We need to move on.

-"We"?

Yes, "we". And tonight I will be your wing-woman.

And make good use of me because, you see this?

This is a Vincent-free but fitty-inclusive zone tonight.

And I'm fed up of playing cat and dog with him.

It's cat and mouse, but...

It's going to take more than a baby music class and a compliment

about my dulcet tones to get round me, let me tell you.

Anyway, we better get a move on because Carmel is meant to be

meeting us there.

You can't rush perfection. Besides, I've got half a bottle left.

Bottoms up.

I thought you were skint?

You my accountant now?

You two are keen.

Absolutely. And I'm really looking forward to our friendly night out.

As friends...of course.

Three double rum and cokes, please, for the ladies.

And a pint for that son-in-law of yours when I see him.

What's he done to deserve that, then?

Oh, just did a girl a favour.

He's a good boy, your Mick.

Yeah. Good...and taken.

The good ones always are, aren't they?

Nan.

Is it me, or does that dude in the corner keep looking at me?

Big arms, checked shirt?

That's Sam... Hi, Sam!

He's a personal trainer.

You don't get arms like that carrying a clipboard around, do you?

-Please don't start all that.

-What?

There's no ring on that finger yet.

Doesn't hurt to shop around, does it?

Hey.

I was thinking, the shop could do with a couple of coats of paint.

Not even Billy could mess that up. Could he?

Don't bother, Dean, all right? Because I'm not Roxy.

You really do think you're that much better than her, don't you?

I think moving away from you might just be the best thing to

ever happen to her, do you know that?

Do you really think you're going to get rid of me?

Do you?

You know, in all the years, all the men, all the boyfriends...

we've always stuck together. Do you want to know why?

Because we're Ronnie and Roxy Mitchell. And we always will be.

And by the way, I might have a little bit of trouble

releasing her share of the money in the house.

So you might be stuck with me for a lot longer than you think.

That went down quick! Would you like a top-up, madame?

Yes, I would... Thank you.

You're welcome. There you go.

-Cheers.

-All right.

All right, Pop? See you later.

Hold up, you ain't getting all Houdini on me

-again like last night, are you?

-Well, Nan's been pimping me

out over the bar and Babe's offered her out for a scrap

-so I'm going round Tam's.

-In that case, take the dog upstairs, please.

-What?

-Go on.

-Are you calling me a thief, Babe?

-Creaming off the profits.

-All right, come on, ladies, let's calm down.

Stand aside, son. I'm going to show her how we settled things at sea.

THEY ARGUE, BELL RINGS

Oi, oi, oi! What on earth is going on?

Nothing. There's just been a misunderstanding, that's all.

A misunderstanding? She's a liability.

Get out the back now, the pair of you.

-Lee, hold the fort.

-What? I've just finished a full day's graft.

What do you want, a paper hat? Do it.

OK, now remember, one wink for ditch, two for switch. Right?

Yes.

And tonight remember, please, there's no Bs. What are Bs, Denise?

Bad boys and Beales.

Thank you very much. Now, let's see what we're dealing with.

Great(!)

I spent too many years in the Merchant Navy not to notice

a watered-down rum. She's been at the spirits, Mick.

Listen, Miss Marple.

Just cos you rode a horse or two, don't make you a jockey.

She's upset the kids, now she's putting your livelihood at risk.

-All right, that's enough!

-Thank you, Mick.

Now, if you've finished with your baseless accusations,

I'd like to go and serve our customers.

No, Elaine. That's enough from you.

This is my boozer.

We don't row in front of the punters, we do not upset our own.

You don't like the way I run my family, or my gaff, you can

jog on right back to Watford, do you understand me?

Excuse me. I think I feel a migraine coming on.

Well said, love.

I think that was very overdue, weren't it, Pop?

He was the short, fat, bald bloke with the binoculars.

His name...was Tom.

Spanish guys don't have names like Tom, Roxy.

His name was "Tomas", then.

He was a peeping Tomas!

THEY LAUGH

Sorry, babe. Do us a favour, go and get us another bottle, yeah?

Peeping Tomas, and you loved him.

-Did you...?

-No!

-I thought you did.

-No, you loved him.

-What?

-You loved peeping Tomas.

Well, this is tragic, ain't it?

Yep.

I only came in for a cheap drink and so far our table's been taken

over by killjoys and my brother is being cornered by a cougar.

Couldn't get any worse, really, could it?

You know, I never really knew my dad.

What you doing?

Having a drink. Pearl's with Mum and she's out for the count.

With her, Vincent?

Look, I can't help it if a woman wants to come and talk to me.

-Don't be jealous.

-Jealous? I am so not jealous.

Good, I'm going to have another drink, if you don't mind?

Sorry, bro, can I have the same again, please, and a whisky chaser?

All right, mate.

-Just listen.

-No, I won't.

Well, where are you going?

Don't worry, I know where the door is,

and I know when I've outstayed my welcome.

Leave it out. Don't be so stupid.

Goodnight, everybody!

Well, I hope you all enjoy yourselves on the first

and last TwoferTuesday.

It's been my pleasure.

Elaine, Elaine, listen. Elaine!

I was out of order.

I should have given you a tug when you was on your jack.

No, no, you made your point, loud and clear.

I had to say something, didn't I?

I mean, you're watering down drinks. What do you think this is?

-The '90s?

-You believe her?

What can I say, the woman knows her rum.

Your pub, your family.

Just make sure you keep an eye on both, all right?

OUR family. Our family.

Please, come back.

I know I overstep the mark. But it's only because I care.

When I'm at home it's me, you know?

I get the punters in, make my money. That's it.

But when I'm here...I'm surrounded by people I love.

And I've seen too many marriages

and families fall apart across that bar to let it happen on my watch.

What you on about?

I know you're having an affair, Mick.

Having a good time, are we?

Yeah, not bad. You?

Yeah. Not bad.

Listen, don't take this the wrong way,

I respect the cougar thing and everything.

But tonight, I'm going to need you to put them claws away.

So...

..Vincent didn't tell you I've been out there calling him

a mug for letting you slip through his fingers?

Clearly you don't want to end it with this bloke,

so why don't you start fighting fire with fire?

You want him back?

Go out there and show him what he's missing.

I think about my Honey every day.

Every day since I got back from Canada.

Well, grow a pair and call her, then.

Cos literally, Bill, if you were any closer, you'd be sitting on my lap.

I used to think about Ian all the time.

See? There's always someone worse off than you.

You don't think something's going on between Carmel and Vincent, do you?

I don't know. Ask her yourself.

Right, then, I'm going to go check on my Craig.

Is Kim all right?

She's going to be just fine.

What you doing?

Don't talk.

Just take a long look on what you're missing out on tonight.

Ah!

I think that's our cue to go.

How long have you known me?

You think I'd even look at another woman?

You're disappearing all the time. No explanations.

Secret calls.

I've been busy, all right? I've had a lot on my plate.

I know the wedding's coming up.

I can only imagine things ain't been the same in the bedroom.

Really, Elaine? I mean, let's not go there.

I know you inside out. I've always been able to read you.

Something's going on.

There he is, my hero.

Thanks for your help today. You and Shirley were life-savers.

Say no more. Night.

Night.

Kim. Kim, come on, you can't out-run me.

I'm not talking to you. You just showed me up in there.

What you talking about? I just picked you up off the pub floor.

Look, I don't need your help.

OK? And I'm not playing cat and dog with you either, all right?

Cat and dog?!

I can't do this any more.

All right, I need you more than you need me. OK? You win.

Kim? Kim, come on.

I don't win if I don't have you.

I mean, it's a good one. It does frappuccino, cappucino...

Al Pacino!

No, it don't do that. Anyway, it's yours if you want it.

Just call me back, will you, Hon?

I know I messed up today but I miss William.

I really miss you.

It's like...we are meant to be.

Like, I'm your bee and you're my honey

and I want to taste you.

Ain't I been a mum to you over the years?

I took you in when you were just a kid.

Where was Shirley then?

Now she stands by that boy.

I can't believe you let her anywhere near you.

I'd almost prefer it if you were having an affair.

I would give anything for it to go back the way it was.

I would give anything.

But she's still my mum.

And I want her in my life.

Now, you know how much I love you, don't you?

And I appreciate everything you've done for me.

But you're not my mum... She is.

-You forget that you forget everything...

-I do!

-That's your problem, isn't it?

-Babe, can I borrow you for a sec?

Yeah... Oh, no, have we run out of Prosecco?

-Just listen.

-What?

I see you today, Rox.

The way you stepped up and you were there for me, it's amazing.

OK.

It's no secret that I've been through hell round here.

But then you come along and nothing else matters.

Nothing apart from you, me and the girls.

I lost my temper earlier on because, I look at you

and for the first time in my life, I see my happy ending.

And I'm scared of losing it.

-I...

-Dean, what are you doing? He's doing it! Dean!

I know I haven't got you a ring.

But I just couldn't wait.

Roxy, I love you.

Will you marry me?

Yes, I will. Yes.

-Yeah?

-Yes!