06/06/2016 EastEnders

There's a fella flogging flowers out the back of his van, undercutting me

and everything, no quality to his blooms, and no-one seems bothered!

You got anything planned tonight?

Just a face pack and a Tom Hardy DVD.

-Anything but opening a bottle of wine.

-Ah, it's like that, is it?

I'm never ever drinking again.

-Do you want a coffee?

-I would love a coffee, thank you.

I bet you're sad it's finished.

I'll have to find another place to do up, won't I?

Jack, you sure it's all right for me to come in late tomorrow?

Yeah, as long as you don't take the Mick. See you later.

-Later.

-And I'll see YOU tomorrow.

-Right, mate.

-Where you going?

-To see my dad. It's his birthday.

-Aw, I bet he'll be really pleased to see you, won't he?

-Mm.

-I've got to go. I've got to catch a train.

-OK.

-Er, Andy, have you heard from Roxy?

-About what?

-Come on.

I saw the two of you kissing.

Oh, and you want to see if you need to buy a hat.

Well, I text her a couple of times and she hasn't text me back, so...

-Well, don't give up.

-You should have been there when

I tried to kiss her the first time. That was a real crowd pleaser.

-Why?

-Haven't you heard? She punched me in the face.

-She actually punched you?

-Yeah, bruised my pride more than anything.

Look, we need to find someone else.

She asked Kush for his baby.

Yeah, I understand how important it is tonight, OK?

All right. All right.

Catch you later.

-He ain't giving you any more grief, is he?

-No.

Doesn't stop me feeling like a stupid idiot though.

-And the other thing?

-I still want a kid.

But, yes, drunkenly asking Kush

-might not have been a good idea.

-Yeah.

I know this is not the greatest timing,

but, um...Kim's got her class tonight and we was wondering if you...

-You want me to babysit?

-We can't find anyone else.

-Oh, go on, then. I ain't got nothing better to do.

-Mwah!

-You are the best sister anyone could have!

-Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

You are. You are.

Denise was saying it might take her years to recover.

I saw her last night. She's not good.

Ian keeps calling her, but she refuses to talk to him.

-It's just awful.

-Lauren, how's Ian?

-I don't know.

VAN BEEPS

-Oi! Oi! What are you doing?

-What do you think you're playing at?

-There's no vans till closing, mate. You know that, Shrimpy.

-Yeah?

Go ahead and report me!

Stop! Stop!

You all right?

-Yeah.

-Nowhere near.

I don't want things to be awkward between us.

They're not.

You're going to have to pack up. I'm going home.

What?! Oi, Donna!

MUSIC PLAYS

My Gran had a doll like that sitting on her spare toilet roll.

We're just practising some salsa moves.

-Oh, is Donna going to babysit?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Good. Cos I'm a bag of nerves.

I'm shaking all over.

-Why?

-I'm putting myself back out there, aren't I?

You know, as a mother. You know I try and shy away from the spotlight.

HE SNORTS

Don't worry, OK? Tonight is going to be a big success, OK?

I tell you something though, if your sister is broody, a couple

-of hours with Pearl is exactly what she needs to snap out of it.

-Why?

Your daughter has been full of attitude all day today.

-I have no idea where she gets it from.

-Really?

-Hey. It's been a while since I've done a service wash.

-You are a star.

Babe? Any chance you could give me a hand with these?

No, I'm going to meet Abi.

-I only popped in cos I'm looking for Louie's bunny. Have you seen it?

-No.

I can't find it anywhere.

Lauren, if you're not busy, can you run upstairs and see

-if Ian's had anything to eat?

-I just said, I'm going to meet Abi.

Don't worry, I'll do it myself.

She's rushed off her feet.

-Any chance Abi could wait?

-No.

I'm sorry, but we're going to the prison to see dad.

I can't put my life on hold, just cos Ian's having a meltdown.

Ian, will you open the door, please?

-Carrot juice?!

-Yeah, I'm cleansing my body.

-Just wish I could cleanse my memory and all.

-Hey. It wasn't that bad.

I got totally hammered and came on to Kush.

-Yeah, you're right. It was bad.

-Yeah.

It's a good thing he said no. You don't want someone like him.

I trust him, despite what you think.

I know I was drunk, but he's a good mate. Or he was a good mate.

-I just don't want you to do anything you'll regret.

-It's OK.

I'm not going to embarrass myself any more.

Go on. Go. Go shake your stuff.

-All right.

-Time to come to me.

-All right, Pearl. I'll see you later.

-Hey.

-Bye-bye, Pearl.

Be good for Auntie, OK? All right? And don't drink her carrot juice.

Say bye-bye, Daddy. Bye-bye.

So, have you ever done it before?

No, but your nan's always had flexible hips. Ha-ha.

So I'm sure we'll pick it up, won't we, Pam?

-What? Sorry?

-Salsa.

I was just saying a couple of old hoofers like us

-will have no trouble picking it up.

-Oh, right.

Actually, I was wondering if we could give it a miss.

Oh, come on. You love a dance. It'll do you good. Come on.

What's up, Nan?

Our market used to be such a cheerful place

and now it's dog eat dog.

-It's affecting trade.

-Well, we took a bit.

-Not enough.

Well, salsa will do you good then. You should definitely go.

I wonder why you think that.

Planning on inviting someone over?

Ben's got a house full. We can't afford to go out, so...

Go on, then. We'll get out of your hair.

And you will wash this lot up to show your gratitude.

-Deal.

-Good.

Thank you.

Two coffees, please.

Ian's locked himself away. Kathy's really wound up.

I just need two minutes before we head to the prison.

-Haven't you read the e-mail?

-What e-mail?

-It came this morning.

Dad's taken us off the visitors list.

-What?

-He doesn't want to see us.

I don't know how she's stuck with him for so long.

-I'd have thought she'd need him more than ever now.

-No, Jane's strong.

She's stronger than him.

-He's lost everything. You've got to feel sorry for him.

-No, I don't.

I'm sorry, but he was happy for Max to go down for it, weren't he?

-I thought there'd be lots of fit men.

-Yes, well.

Oh, the teacher ain't here yet.

You never know, might be full of that old Latin passion.

Good evening, everyone. My name is Kim and I am your tutor.

Oh, whoa. No, hang on a minute.

Didn't I tell you? I used to teach on the cruise ship.

Just one of my many talents.

Well, auvoir and welcome to my summer salsa classes.

SHE MOUTHS Over the next ten weeks,

I will be nurturing you from little buds into colourful blooms.

Yes. And leading to our end of term showcase extravaganza!

I love a dance show.

Well, in the words of Dame Julie Andrews,

let's start at the very beginning.

So, if I could have everybody in a line, please.

-Shoot me now.

-Yeah, thank you. In a line, here.

So, just a few words before we begin.

Please respect the privacy of the tutor.

Please do not take any photos

or any film footage to post on social media.

OK? She is a professional and her work should not be abused.

Thank you.

Not late, am I?

Hello, Les.

You going to be Fred or Ginger?

-Come on, Les.

-Pam...

Roll the shoulders. Hang on. Where you going?

OK, let's just roll. Yeah, roll.

Denise, roll.

That's it. Lovely.

-Why would he do that?

-What?

No, that doesn't make any sense. I'm sorry, but you have...

They cut me off.

They can't cut you off. They're Dad's lawyers.

-They have to speak to us.

-No.

They're not representing him any more. He's sacked them.

We've got no way of contacting him.

He's doing this to punish us, isn't he?

Come on.

You got it?

Does your mummy let you do that at home?

Mm. Don't think she does, does she?

But then, she ain't as fun as Auntie Donna, is she?

Shall we do it?

Ready?

-Maybe you should join the team.

-Really?

Sorry, my life is actually dull enough already, without

having to hang around with a bunch of bored women throwing arrows.

-I'm not bored.

-Let me guess what you did today. Go on, then.

You lined up your spices alphabetically, and then you

probably learned a bit of Chinese whilst ironing Jack's Y-fronts.

Is that how you see my life?

-Well, you've got to admit you've gone very...safe.

-No, I haven't.

I saw Andy earlier.

-Good for you.

-I saw you kissing him the other night.

-You stalking me now, are you?

-Do you like him?

-He's all right. He's a bit young.

-He said you hadn't returned his texts.

What else did you talk about?

Did you have a nice little chat, did you?

He said you punched him in the face.

Roxy! He's a nice bloke.

Ooh! Lovely wrist action!

Nice. What you drinking?

No, thanks.

-Haven't seen you turn down a drink before.

-What are you trying to say?

-I'm anyone's for the price of a vodka?

-No!

Chill out. I'm just joking.

Look, I'm not saying Andy's the one, but give it a go, see what happens.

-He doesn't even know where he stands with you.

-He doesn't stand anywhere.

No man does.

Paul's got Ben round, Les is catching up on some prep work

and I thought I'd drop by.

SHE GASPS Your door!

We were going for Impressionist art. I did the horse.

I'm not sure what Pearl's is meant to be,

but I think it looks like an aeroplane. What do you reckon?

-I'm not sure.

-Worked a treat though. She went out like a light.

Must get that from Vincent.

Something's happened, hasn't it?

-No. What?

-You're upset. I can tell.

No.

I was thinking, you should go to the council again. I'll go with you.

Something has to be done. That market is like Dodge City.

What about you?

-What about me?

-Put yourself forward as market inspector.

Oh, don't be so stupid.

Who better to take charge than someone who's worked

the markets all their lives?

You know all the scams. No-one would put anything past you. You'd be

perfect for the job. We'd all be behind you. Martin, Kush, Shri...

Not sure about Kush.

Why not?

I got drunk and asked him to have a baby with me.

Go on. Tell me I'm being irresponsible.

-Well, I had no idea you felt like that about Kush.

-I don't.

He's my mate. Well, was.

I just want a baby, Pam.

-You're still feeling broody.

-It's more than that.

I'm ready for it.

I want to have someone that's mine, you know?

Watch them grow up and try and stop them making the mistakes I have.

You've not done so bad.

Kush, eh? I can see the attraction!

I mean, if you're going to have a baby, you might just as well

make the practice runs as much fun as possible!

Well, you can tell Jane that I am not going to give up.

I'm going to keep on calling till she agrees to see me.

Yeah, I know it's her choice

and it's my choice to keep on calling, OK?

Her and Ian should be together through this.

They should be supporting each other.

Oh...sorry.

-Look, found this under the sofa.

-Oh, yes!

Ian used to have a knitted teddy. Wouldn't go to sleep without it.

Took it everywhere.

And his gran's mate, Ethel... Dot must have told you about her.

She had this dog, and unfortunately, he took a fancy to it.

Bit his head off. Never heard screams like it.

I ended up having to knit him another one.

Oh, I just wish I could make all this better that easily.

Here you are.

Did you see Abi?

Yeah. We were meant to be going to the prison to see Dad,

but he's cut all contact with us.

-Why would he do that?

-He's punishing me for leaving.

Choosing Peter's family over him.

Oh, no. I'm sure it's not that. He probably needs a bit more time.

Well, how can I explain it?

It was just easier to go back to New Zealand,

rather than stay here and fight for him.

Look, I know how much it must hurt that Ian and Jane let your dad

go inside, but we do what we can to protect our kids.

I just hope that you never have to do anything like that for Louie,

-but if you had to, Lauren, you would.

-Yeah.

That's what Jane said during the court case.

And whatever happens with your dad, we all care about you, you know?

-I'm not giving up on him.

-No. No, of course not.

But you're part of this family too. If you want to be.

It's OK for you to put your guard up. It's completely understandable.

I don't need you justifying how I feel, OK? So can we just drop it?

No. I'm sorry, I won't.

It's OK to flirt. It doesn't have to lead to anything else.

I put my guard up.

You saw what it did to me.

I don't want that for you.

I'm not you.

-OK? Just let me deal with it in my own way.

-Absolutely.

Right now, I just want to focus on me and Amy and...

-I just want to be a good mum.

-Then keep doing what you're doing.

She loves you.

I think dating would be good for you too.

Just don't let something good pass you by, all right?

You deserve happiness.

OK, so now, I'm going to do a routine

and you're just going to follow me, OK? You're going to follow me.

So here we go.

With our left leg, we're going to go forward, back, forward,

back. Now bring it back again.

Back. And again. Back.

And again. Back. Turn. Back. Back.

No, turn the other way. Turn the other way. Back. Back.

And to the side. Shimmy. Side.

Shimmy, shimmy, side.

-Shimmy, shimmy, side.

-Kim!

-Shimmy, shimmy, side.

-Kim!

Shimmy... Oh.

-What?

-Um, you're not making it clear.

If you can't keep up, it's not my fault, babe.

I'm just... You know... Surely, it should be this.

Um... Back, forward, forward.

Forward, back, back.

Back, forward, forward.

-Oh, yeah. That makes more sense.

-Forward, back, back.

Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm the tutor. I'm the one who makes sense.

-But you're not. She is.

-I'm just trying to be helpful.

Shaki got me this salsa DVD a couple of Christmases ago

and the instructor, Xavi...

He made it really simple.

-I'll let you borrow it if you like.

-I'm teaching my way.

If you find it too difficult, I suggest you leave.

-What? You want me to go?

-Kim, you can't do that.

Um, tutor. Platform. Remote control.

MUSIC PLAYS Now, come on!

Now, we're going to roll to the side. To your right.

Left. Right. Come on!

Let's go!

Pick it up! Pick it up!

Pull it back!

-Is she all right?

-Yeah, she's fine.

I'm not going to let the whole Kush thing put me off.

-There are other blokes out there.

-Yes.

And you'd make a wonderful mother and I've always said so.

But I wouldn't be a friend if I didn't ask -

have you thought about the practicalities?

Women of my size have kids all the time.

I'm not talking about your size, Donna.

I'm talking about your lifestyle.

Working all day, and you have to admit,

you like to let your hair down.

I'm not going to do that when I've got a baby though, am I?

You really are serious about this, aren't you?

More than I've ever been about anything.

Then you go for it.

I'm behind you 100%, but I'm warning you now,

I expect to be made godmother!

Who else?

Vincent's actually being supportive.

He's being his normal overprotective self.

I remember when I took you to Claudette's for the very first time.

He must have been about... Oh, gosh. 18, 19?

-Still a big kid. He had one of those...

-Yeah, the whoopee cushion!

He put it on Mum's seat and she sat on it.

And you both cracked up and that's

when I knew you were going to be all right living there.

-Well, I was one of the lucky ones.

-Well, you could adopt too.

Nah, I want to be pregnant.

Plus I've heard they give you great drugs when you give birth.

Look...

I am an expert at me.

-But I am useless in relationships.

-No, you're not.

It's fine. I can live with that.

I don't need a man, but I do need a baby.

I can't believe I'm jealous of Kim.

But I am.

I want what other people have.

You'll have it.

And you are wrong.

I don't care what you say, but you are great in relationships.

You know what I think?

You'll have your baby and then without looking for a man,

one will turn up.

You'll have your wonderful family.

Right. I'll leave you to it.

Les will be finishing up and our programme is on soon.

Thank you, Pam.

You're a great mate.

Mwah!

That makes two of us then.

Birdy!

You missed a great lesson.

Shame you had to run off like that.

Did you remember you'd left the iron on?

Or was it the heated curlers for Les' wig?

Fancy a chip?

Paul, how would you feel if I grew a bit of a beard?

-Another one?

-I've not had one before.

So, what do you call Abi?

Oh, shut up. I'm being serious. I reckon it'll make me look older.

I wouldn't want a stubble rash every time we made out.

Anyway, if you're going to change anything, change your clothes.

You dress like your dad.

-No, I don't.

-I swear he has that exact same top.

-No, he's not.

And anyway, you need to get rid of that stupid thing in your hair.

-It keeps my hair out of my eyes.

-Do you want some pizza, baby?

-No!

-Look at the state of this place!

You've not washed up!

-Um, I was just about to.

-You're always just about to.

-It's not on, Paul!

-I should go.

-I'll call you later.

-Yeah.

Um, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disrespect you.

I'll do the washing up and I'll tidy everything.

How was salsa?

We left early. I was visiting Donna.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to be this nasty old woman,

shouting at two people who are in love.

What's the matter, Nan?

Tell me.

We...

We're being blackmailed.

I'm really sorry, guys.

The chicken burger's actually off the menu tonight.

Er, let me just give you a couple of minutes to decide.

-You OK?

-Yeah. Kathy's got Louie, so I thought I'd help you out here.

-Yeah?

-Clearly, I'm the best waitress this place ever had.

Clearly.

Do you have any idea who?

I shouldn't have told you.

Please promise you'll not tell your grandad. He'll be so upset.

-We need to find out who is behind this.

-LES:

-I'm home!

Please, drop it.

Not a word to your grandad.

In here.

Well, that's Mrs Hopkins nicely embalmed.

-Did you go and see Donna?

-Yes. Had a good catch up.

Paul's just going to do the washing up, aren't you, Paul?

Yeah.

You've been crying.

I've told you not to let that woman get to you.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

-OK.

-Wait, wait. If you're going to do a selfie, let me do my hair.

-You are such an idiot. I'm texting Andy.

-Oh.

I'm going to ask him if he wants to take me for a drink or for dinner.

Bit of birthday cake?

It's your favourite.

It's good to see you.

I'm sorry I haven't been much recently.

I thought you'd forgotten me.

Never.

TEXT ALERT

That's the sister.

I told you, Dad, I'm getting closer to Ronnie Mitchell every day.

She's been no trouble.

-Are you sure about that?

-What? It brightens up the place.

Leave the crayons and I might do the rest.

Pam came round earlier.

She thinks I should apply to be market inspector.

Yeah?

Didn't really think that would be your bag.

Well, I like bossing people around.

Anyway, the money would come in handy.

-For when I have a baby.

-Yeah.

Like I say, if you decide to go down the donor route, I'll support you.

-I don't need your money, Vincent.

-I meant more than money.

-I've always been here for you. You know that.

-Yeah.

I know. We were talking about it earlier.

-You used to call me your number one girl.

-Yeah!

Well, I mean, now you might have to settle for number three girl.

How about I settle for number two baby mother?

I'm sorry, what?

Vincent, you're the only man I've ever trusted.

You've always told me to go for what I want.

I want a baby.

And I want it to be yours.