18/10/2016 EastEnders

What you doing up so early?

Oh, erm...

Practising your hazard perception, I see.

Look, if you...

If you feel like you need more time,

we can postpone your theory test, you know.

I don't need more time,

I just got distracted.

Mm-hmm.

Worried about losing your bet?

Babe, that bet wasn't about the money...

SHE SCOFFS

..it was me proving how much faith I have in you.

Now, if you don't think that you're ready...

then that's cool.

Course I'm ready.

I was born ready.

Hmm.

I thought I heard you clattering around down here.

Last night's dinner things.

Yeah, I was going to do that.

Yeah, you were.

Oh, we've run out of tea.

You wouldn't mind picking some up on the way back, would you?

Cheers, Mum.

Oi. That's not your fridge.

Look, Billy, it's only your second day.

I completely understand if you can't come with us to visit the school.

No, that education woman said

we both need to be involved

in what choices they have for Janet.

Yeah, I know, but you didn't have your job to worry about then.

Billy knows what he's doing

and they'll all be on their best behaviour after yesterday.

Besides, I've got Jay keeping an eye on them for me, ain't I?

Yeah, well, I'm just glad he's taking a bit of responsibility.

Yeah.

Listen, Honey...

..I'm happy to go and have a look at this place with you, OK?

I want to come with you.

Thank you.

-I'll make sure she's getting ready.

-All right.

I can get to school on my own.

Will, I told you,

I'm dropping you off at Sharon's.

SHE SIGHS

SHE SIGHS

Hey, look.

Look, I can double-click, left-handed...

Yeah, that's great.

..which means, I can type fast with my right

and see what you lot have been getting up to.

OK, well,

no work before nine o'clock, thanks.

Jane's desperate to get her hands dirty.

Well, if I can use the computer properly, I can help out.

You look great, babe.

Yeah, well, it's for a digital advertising agency -

so, to be fair, I should be wearing a beanie and a lumberjack shirt.

Well, you'll smash that interview, no matter what you're wearing.

Yeah, course you will. Hey, let me show Lauren what I can do.

OK, well, look - rather than looking at boring accounts...

double-click on that.

Actually, Jane, haven't you got Sasha coming this morning?

'Da-da.'

Aww...

he's so sweet.

You don't want to be too tired for your OT session, do you?

Right, well, listen...

eat up and I will go and get the real thing -

and, if we're lucky, he'll say it again for us.

Right, go through, love.

Will?

Thanks again, Shal.

No problem.

Sounds like this school's going to be great for Janet.

Yeah, well, it's a bit further away than we'd have liked, you know.

Well, if it's better for her..

Well, we'll see.

Anyway, I best get going,

it'll take the best part of an hour to get there this time of day.

-Well, I hope it goes well.

-Thanks, Shal. See you.

-See you later.

Show us them boots.

You get them from a charity shop?

Or was it from one of them dead bodies your dad fiddles with?

Come on, you two, let's get going.

Bye.

She was a barrel of laughs(!)

When's she coming back with new stock?

She's not.

Well, when is the new stuff coming?

PHONE RINGS

It's not.

Hello, Elysium.

I'm afraid Suzanne's off sick today

but I can get her to call you when she's back

to make an appointment, if you like.

Yeah, no problem.

All right, thanks.

What do you mean it's not?

You said that's why you were packing it all up.

Let me see that letter she just gave you.

-It's nothing.

-No, let me see it.

It's just a list of special offers.

-Get out the way!

-No!

-Move.

SHE SIGHS

What are these?

There you go.

Oh, here she is, Lewis Hamilton.

Listen, good luck with your test, yeah?

D, you got any of those "stick your luck up your butt" cards?

Ooh!

That's fighting talk.

Oh, look, you can only do your best.

It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

What's that supposed to mean?

You know, don't let it worry you.

I'm not worried.

I couldn't care less what that lot thinks.

Look, we've been through the multiple choice,

I went over the hazard with Vincent again this morning.

They're the ones that should be worried.

Thanks.

Suzanne's not off sick, is she?

You haven't been paying her.

It's the overheads, Stace,

they've all added up.

Well, you've been paying me.

That's different...

How is it different?

What, because I'm family?

That's not fair that you've been putting enough aside

for my wages and not hers.

You should have just told me.

I've been paying you out of my own pocket.

What?

I haven't had enough, for any of you, for weeks.

I had to make an executive decision.

Nev's 50 grand didn't go far.

Belinda, the rent on the house is due on Friday.

I was hoping business would pick up.

Right, well, let's just make three piles -

urgent, very urgent and then...

court case pending.

It'd be a start if we actually opened some of them.

SHE SIGHS

Oh.

What is it?

It's your divorce papers.

"Decree absolute."

I'm sorry.

Is Suzanne about?

Erm... No, she's off sick today.

Oh, she did such a good job last time,

I wanted an Indian head massage.

My neck is killing me.

Sorry.

Well, I'll do it again.

No, it's all right.

-I'll come back another day.

-No, it's fine.

Go in, sit on the treatment chair,

I'll be with you in a minute, all right?

OK, but...

-could you be a bit more gentle this time?

-Of course.

You can't avoid these bills forever.

I've got a paying customer to deal with.

Oh, I see you've got the old L-plates on.

Oh, yeah.

Where's...?

Where's Vincent? Whacking on his brown trousers, is he?

No, he's gone to the bank to open an account to put his winnings in.

-OK.

-Hold on, are you in on the bet as well?

It was just a bit of banter, you know.

Jack was winding him up so, you know,

he put some readies on it just to shut him up, really.

He did it cos I'm a good driver.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Anyway,

good luck and....

be lucky.

AS MICK: Good luck and be lucky.

We'll see who needs L-plates.

Gets on my nerves.

I am a very good driver,

thank you very much.

OK.

OK, so here we go.

Right. Mirror.

Signal. OK.

Manoeuvre.

ENGINE REVS

Oh, it's automatic.

OK. Mirror, signal...

manoeuvre.

Manoeuvre. Manoeuvre.

Yeah.

Oh.

CRASH

They told me to come back in a few years,

when I've got more...

commercial experience.

But you're good at what you do.

I'm sure something will turn up.

Yeah.

You really think so?

Seems like everything I do just seems to fall apart.

Don't be daft.

You've got Louie...

and Steven.

You've got a roof over your head.

Yeah, for now.

Look, I've got to go,

I told Whitney I'd help her with her dress.

Lauren...

..if you need anything,

just let me know, yeah?

Yeah. Course.

You shouldn't even be driving at your age!

You shouldn't be driving at all -

you ain't even passed your test.

You pulled out in front of me.

I did nothing of the sort, you drove into me!

What is all this?

-Look. Don't look at me.

-I told you to wait in the car.

Look, she come tearing round that corner...

I didn't come tearing round nowhere!

Well, we'll see what my insurance company's got to say about it.

-I

-had the right of way!

A right of way?

You ain't got no rights,

driving with L-plates and no-one beside you.

What? Wait...

Before we start talking insurance,

maybe we can sort this out ourselves.

Are you OK?

No thanks to her.

Mrs Branning, are you OK?

I don't know, I think so.

All right.

Kim, why don't you wait in the house

and I'll sort these cars out?

-Let me help you here, Mrs Branning.

-I don't need no help.

I've got to phone me hairdresser

and make sure they know

I can't make me appointment.

Do you want me to call them for you?

I think you've done about enough.

And feel that stress just melt away.

NATURE SOUNDS PLAY

Relax the neck.

A lot of trigger points there.

Could we turn that music off?

It's actually giving me a headache.

Oh.

No wonder Stacey had to get out of here.

-She just went to lunch.

-Oh...

-Here, let me...

-No. No, it's OK. I'm fine.

I can't do anything right, can I?

No, it's just that your...

technique is different to Suzanne's.

When's she coming back?

She ain't coming back.

-I might as well pack up now.

-Oh.

Well, I'm sure you can get someone else to do your massages.

It's not just the massages.

My business is falling apart.

I got bills up to my eyeballs.

Oh, and, on top of everything else, I got this.

You've still got time to go for your test.

I can call you a cab.

Are you joking?

Psychological damage, D, yeah?

You're not going to read about that in your Charlotte Bronte, are you?

Are you sure you're all right?

They always say,

"It's the other people on the road that's the problem," ain't it?

Yeah, but how come Vincent didn't see her pulling out, though?

He was in the car, though, right?

Kim! What are you doing driving on your own?

Look, I was just picking up Vincent,

-he was dropping off Pearl at Patrick's.

-But it's illegal.

You're going to get a ban before you've even passed your test.

Actually, she's the one that shouldn't be driving.

That's why they have freedom passes, you know.

You're out of order.

Yeah, well, thank you for your support, D(!)

I'm going to get Pearl.

Kim...

Urgh.

This is ever so sweet.

How many sugars did you put in it?

Three.

Three? No, no, it's poison

but it's good for shock.

Have you heard from him lately?

Eh?

Arthur.

I ain't had a postcard for ages.

Er, no...

No, I haven't.

I can see if I can find out how he's doing.

Well, it'd be nice to hear from him.

Yeah.

See, the thing is, Mrs Branning, these...

These insurance companies can take forever, you know?

And I think it was just a scratch.

How about I get the car repaired and pay for all damages?

Yeah, but what about in the meantime?

I can get the car booked in tomorrow and, in the meantime,

I could be your...

personal chauffeur.

I can even get you to the hairdressers.

That's all very well,

but what if it had been a little child -

you know, like my Amy -

who dashed out in front of her?

You're right. That was a stupid thing to do.

I mean, if you'd rather go through the insurance companies,

I mean, that's fine, but...

even if it's not your fault,

you'll probably lose your no-claims bonus.

You know what they're like.

Look, Kim is devastated

and I'm sure she wants to, probably, come over here

and apologise in person, but...

I think she's learnt her lesson.

As long as she understands,

that she can't go tearing around like a hooligan.

It's not too late for your appointment.

Ooh.

No, we might as well go.

She always keeps me waiting.

-Here, where's my coat?

-Already got it.

-Ta. Right.

You must be able to get a bank loan, or something, to tide you over.

I'm maxed out on everything.

It's not even as if I can ask Nev to bail me out.

Oh, you are definitely not going to do that.

When I split with Umar,

I thought the world had come to an end.

I cried for weeks.

Now this is just a piece of paper.

Like any certificate, it just tells you what you already know.

What, that I've failed?

No, you have not failed.

You've moved on,

made a new life for yourself.

I wish I'd had the courage to do something like this.

Stupidity, more like.

It's not a bloke you need...

it's money.

What about a private investor?

You offering?

I should be so lucky.

Ah, the amount I'm forking out for rent...

No. How much do you need?

About five grand, short-term.

Well, that's it, then.

If you can find five people at a grand each, that's not so bad.

You could put something together.

You've got the gift of the gab.

Do you think so?

Look, you can either mope around

and see all this fall to pieces,

or...

you can stick two fingers up at Neville

and show him what you can do.

-You're right.

-Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

It's too easy to sit back

and let them think they've taken over our lives.

It's time to take back control.

Yeah.

Yeah.

PHONE BEEPS

That's my lunchtime over.

Better get back to work.

Let me know how you get on...

and...

maybe give the massages a rest, eh?

Are you spying on me?

No, I've got to go and tell Honey that...

we've got a different regional manager in our area.

No doubt the whole shop's going to be turned upside down. I don't know.

What are you doing here?

Vincent sent me to apologise to Dot.

But I thought you said

that it was her fault.

I shouldn't have been driving, should I?

See? Now, finally, the penny drops.

Maybe I got distracted, I don't know.

It's easy done, ain't it?

You're just lucky it wasn't a lot more serious.

Well, I've had the third degree from Patrick.

Oh, I bet you have.

Yeah, but I offered to help.

Is Dot going to report you?

No.

Vincent's worked his magic on her.

Good, good.

So, you go and you get your theory test booked

and you get yourself legal.

Is Lauren still about?

Yeah, yeah, they're finishing off the skirts

of Whitney's wedding dress.

She's putting together a presentation for me.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, I'm looking for investors for the salon.

Oh, you thinking of expanding?

Just trying a few things.

Like what?

-You'll have to wait and see.

-Ooh, sounds interesting.

What's this?

Belinda's revamping the salon.

Oh, it's early days yet.

To be honest, I've never really tried to get investment before.

I just used Neville's credit card.

What you doing behind the jump? You ain't meant to be working.

Oh, Whitney's still sorting out her dress. Is Ollie asleep, then?

Yeah. He's out of he game.

Look, you just go up, cos they'll be all night otherwise.

-Thanks.

-Oh, you can always run your presentation past us.

Yeah, we could do a Dragons' Den.

OK, thanks.

What's all that about?

Oh, she's looking for investors to upgrade the salon.

Anyone going into business with her has got to be off their nut,

you know what I mean?

-L LAUGHS

-Stop it!

-What?

Did you remember to buy the tea?

Eh?

I'm parched.

-Are you?

-Yeah.

You know what, Mas?

I did want Shaki

to learn how to look after himself,

rather than expecting me to run around after him.

Yeah, he should do that.

But, instead, he's picking up your bad habits.

I mean, look at this place.

I am the only one who ever tidies up.

Well, you kind of do it before I get a chance.

Honestly, I'm beginning to wish

I hadn't actually come back.

So, why did you?

We can't skirt around this forever.

It was a mad idea.

I thought that's what I needed, to get away and...

leave this all behind but...

..I guess...

I missed it.

And I missed you, too.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I missed you, too.

All of you.

Carmel...

you're a good friend.

And we're better off that way, aren't we?

But...

Given our history, this...

This isn't ideal...

but we are where we are and...

we can either deal with it...

..or end up hating each other.

Do you really want that?

Course not.

Kettle's boiled.

You can't take me and Shaki for granted.

What?

Look, it's not just about doing the washing up straight away.

THAT is not a classroom,

it is our living room.

I don't want to see another exercise book

or a piece of sticky paper in there.

Where am I supposed to teach Kamil?

You can use it between nine and three.

After that, it should go back to the way it was.

Right...

I get it.

Why are you saying it as if I'm telling you off?

-What are you doing, then?

-I am trying to be reasonable.

Anything else?

Mas, you need to respect the fact that this is our home.

OK, I'm sorry.

I guess me coming back probably hasn't been easy for you, too.

I think we were all hoping for a fresh start, weren't we?

Here.

Now, I am going to put my feet up.

I'll bring the tea through in a minute.

Sorry I'm late, baby.

Everything all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did well.

I could get used to this management lark.

Oh, she's only done me shepherd's pie, ain't she?

Where's the kids?

Well, Janet's gone to bed, bless her.

She's absolutely exhausted after that school visit.

Actually, now she's gone to bed, what did...

What did you think about today?

-Yeah, yeah, I liked it.

-Yeah.

-I weren't just saying it cos she was with us.

-No.

I think they understand exactly what she's going to need, don't they?

Yeah. Yeah, they do.

So, where's the little man, then?

Well, I've sent him to his room

because he's only gone and lost his football boots.

-What?!

-I know.

What, does he think we're made of money now I've got this job?

I know, I told him he's going to have to look for them,

cos they must be around here somewhere

and we're certainly not buying him a new pair.

As far as I'm concerned, he can play in his socks.

Anyway, you've got this job for Belinda,

so tell me about that.

Yeah, it's just some design work for a sales presentation.

I mean, I said I'd do it for the original price of her website, so...

Babe...

Yeah, I know, but I thought I might have got this job,

then we could have started putting some money back into this place

before Jane finds out.

I know, I feel really bad.

I offered Belinda some more work, but...

if nothing else, it'll just be good for my portfolio.

It did get me thinking, though.

So, you know Ian's websites?

-They're a bit out of date.

-Right.

So...

I mean, he's got that big conference coming up, hasn't he?

He's going to want to look professional,

and come up as the first hit when people search "Beale's Walford".

Yeah, I suppose so.

Well, if I did that,

I'm going to need someone to check them, ain't I?

Proofread, all sorts of things like that.

-All right, babe. Well, I'll give it a go...

-No.

No, we need someone

with a little bit more time on their hands.

Someone that, all of a sudden, they're keen on using computers.

-Oh, right. Yeah.

-Yeah.

And it takes ages.

-You are a genius.

-I know.

Steven!

-Crack on.

-All right. Sorry.

Ooh!

And this is a "red light therapy."

Not what you're thinking, Mick.

Ahh.

These therapies trigger the body's own natural production of collagen,

thus reducing those fine lines

and smoothing out the skin, Linda.

This all looks brilliant, Belinda.

Don't you think, Mick?

Yeah.

It's another level, ain't it, Johnny, eh?

Yeah, I didn't know there was so many ways to iron out wrinkles.

I can definitely see this taking off.

Yeah. But, you know, this is hardly Bromley, is it?

Do you know what I mean, like?

I can't see the bods round here being into all this sort of caper.

-I would.

-And that's just the thing, Mick.

No-one round here's offering this at the moment.

I reckon this could be a gold mine.

-So, what shall I put your down for, a grand?

-Hmm?

How much do you want to invest?

Do you know what? I think this is such a good idea,

Me and L are going to have a little cheeky chat about it.

What do you reckon?

Yeah, yeah...

Johnny, could you see Belinda downstairs?

-Sure.

-The lovely Belinda.

-OK, well, you know where I am.

-Thank you.

Yes, and we're all over it.

-Don't you worry about that.

-Brilliant.

Are you off your swede?

I got carried away.

What are we, all of a sudden? What, Duncan Bannatyne?

Would it be such a bad investment?

Her presentation was really good.

I think I would rather back a three-legged horse

to win the Monaco Grand Prix.

You've got to be straight with her.

Well, what if I just gave her just a little bit of money?

We'll give her a fiver.

Please, just, just...just tell her.

Yeah, all right, I will.

So...

how was Mrs Branning?

All right.

What did she say?

I didn't see her.

What?

I didn't know what to say.

"Sorry."

Kim, that's all you needed to say.

Even though it wasn't my fault?

It was your fault,

because you don't have a full driver's licence.

What is it that you don't understand about this?

It doesn't mean that I'm not capable of driving.

-It means you're not allowed to.

-Maybe I don't want to.

Stop being ridiculous. Look...

apologise to Mrs Branning tomorrow

and then we can rebook your theory test, all right?

Hold on,

why you taking her side?

I'm not taking her side,

I was the one that persuaded her not to go through the insurance.

I bet you thought I wouldn't pass.

Of course I did.

Oh, yeah?

You've taken her side,

and you made a bet on me.

You're supposed to be my husband.

You, Patrick...

Everyone is just treating this test as if it's some kind of joke.

And you know what? I'm fed up of it.

And no matter whose fault this accident turns out to be,

there's not one person that would be standing up for me,

that would have my back -

apart from Denise.

-I did.

-No, you haven't.

You know what?

Forget this.

I'm not doing the test. I'm sick of it.

Come on, Kim.

No, forget it!

I am not doing it,

and I don't care if I never drive again.