20/10/2016 EastEnders

Morning, ladies. How we doing?

You really want to know?

What is up with you?

You've got a face like a rotting pumpkin.

Don't you ever get tired of this?

What? The market?

Yeah. The early mornings, the dark, the drudgery, the cold.

Day in, day out, pretending to care about what you sell?

Pretending to like people?

Charming.

I'm not pretending, most of the time.

You'll get used to it once you lower your expectations.

Oh, well, if there's somewhere you would rather be working,

then don't let me hold you back.

So what happened between Kim and Dot?

I hear they had a crash.

A tiny scratch.

So whose fault was it?

If you ask me, neither are fit to be behind the wheel.

So what are you doing after school today?

Well, I've got guitar lessons, then band practice.

For real? I can think of much better things to be doing.

Bet he can.

Aww, would you look at them.

What I'd give to be 16 again.

Not a care in the world, eh?

So how you getting on in the new house?

Oh, yeah, good, thanks.

Actually I found some paint up in the loft.

Few dodgy colours, but Lily loved them.

We spoke to the landlord - he's given us the go ahead.

I was just wondering if you fancied coming round, help us sort the place out.

Yeah, Kushy will help, won't you?

Yeah, yeah, go on, then. All right.

Can't wait to get rid of those weird masks, you know?

Start to make the place feel like our own.

Mind you, if Belinda don't pull her socks up, then we might not be

living there for much longer.

What's she done now?

She did give me a head massage the other day -

felt like I'd done ten rounds with Amir Khan.

The rent's due tomorrow and Belinda's skint.

The salon's in trouble and me and Stace, we're struggling as it is.

Didn't she get a pay-out? I thought her ex was minted.

Yeah, and he's planning on staying that way.

She's gone out to try and get a load of mugs

to invest in her business, bail her out for a bit.

Five grand - she wants a grand off them each.

What's the chance of that happening?

And what if that doesn't happen?

That's a good question, mate.

It's a good question.

# And if that green bottle should accidentally fall

# There'd be no green bottles hanging on the wall. #

Oh, it's you. Thought that tom cat was randy again.

We're practising for Ollie's music class.

You know, his coordination is really coming on -

he's been clapping his hands.

That's cos he's going to be able to pull some serious shapes

like his old man, ain't you, boy?

Give us a kiss.

Did he wake you up? You should've given me a little nudge.

No, I thought I might go to Essex with Lee and Whitney,

help choose some wedding bits.

But it turns out they don't need me.

Still got your knitting.

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

I've found it very therapeutic, actually.

I thought I was supposed to be the lonely old spinster.

Still, you got the darts to look forward to,

cheering us on tomorrow night.

I hate that Geraldine Clough. Just make sure you win.

-Oh, we will, now we've got the full line-up.

-Yeah.

Oh, since I ain't standing in, you mean?

Well, let's face it, we wouldn't have stood a cat in hell's with you.

Least now we might wipe that smug grin off her boat.

Yeah.

Thanks, Megan.

You're welcome.

I'll see you Monday after physio?

Louie's still asleep.

Can I help you with anything?

No, no, just pass me the laptop.

I'll finish reading that website.

Thank you.

No, no, thank you. I've enjoyed getting my head back into work.

It's been a while since I felt like part of the team, to be honest.

Right, well, we'll leave you to it.

I hate this.

What?

Keeping this from Jane. She don't deserve it.

You know the score.

It's just to tide us over until we can pay them back.

Yeah.

You know those websites can make you go blind?

What? Oh, no, it's nothing like that at all, it's...

Look, it was meant to be a surprise but...

I found you a slot.

Come again?

For your theory test. Do you want me to go ahead and book, yeah?

I thought I told you.

Oh, come on.

I'm not touching a steering wheel, OK? Never again.

What about Pearl?

She's going to miss out on a lot if you're not driving her around.

We'll get a cab.

What is all this? You're upset with me about Dot?

Cos I told you to apologise?

I'm not apologising for something I haven't done.

You're not meant to be driving. You know that.

You know what makes it worse? She knows that.

All right, she could go to the police, get you banned.

Well, let her.

Look, I know the bump knocked your confidence.

It's not the bump that did that.

But you need to put it behind you, all right, you need to get back

in that drivers seat before you totally lose your bottle.

It's not happening.

Johnny, you ain't going to uni on an empty tummy.

Fine, I'll have it on the way.

I don't know why I bother.

-Love you, Mum.

-Love you too, sausage.

PHONE BEEPS

It's Belinda.

She wants to know when we're free for a chinwag.

Right, well, I'm not hiding from her again today.

You know, it's a real shame, I quite fancied a new venture.

You're waving goodbye to a grand if you ask me.

-That's what I'm saying, we ain't got a spare grand.

-We've got that money we put by for Ollie.

Right, so you want to risk all that

on a nail bar that could well go down the pan?

No, no, no, of course not. Of course not, no.

We'll tell her straight today.

Yes.

All done. You've made a really good job of this.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I mean, I've changed a few bits and bobs, nothing much.

But words aren't really my thing, I'm far better with numbers.

I might get back into the accounts.

I feel more up for it.

See, I knew it.

I sent Peter the video of Louie and he's watched it, I knew he would.

Couldn't resist, eh?

Great.

Well, how can you? Louie is so cute.

So what did Peter say?

Well, he hasn't actually said anything.

I just know he's watched it, because it comes up with two blue ticks next to it.

Whoop-de-do.

Everything OK?

Why do you care?

I'm here with Louie every day, in real life.

You don't need him throwing you crumbs.

You don't think I'm that bad at darts, do you?

Oh, take no notice of Babe.

She wants to give that forked tongue a rest.

I suppose it's just as well I'm only cheering you on tomorrow night,

imagining that dart board is Geraldine's tatty head.

Hi.

Everything all right?

Yeah, I left this.

You couldn't mind Denny later, could you? I've got darts practice.

-Won't be late.

-I was going to go to the hospital.

Oh. Don't worry, darling, I'll ask Jay.

How's Phil doing?

He'd do a lot better if people kept their noses out.

You know what I mean?

It's not you, it's Kathy.

Oh?

Well, it's partly my fault.

I never told her that Ben had volunteered to be Phil's donor.

Then she found out and she told the hospital everything.

All about him losing Paul, Peggy.

Now they're bringing forward his psychologist appointment.

So you're saying they could stop him trying to save his dad?

Well, it's more about making sure he's doing it for the right reasons.

I'd feel the same about Denny.

Yeah, but where does that leave Phil?

Are you going to start tonight?

Yeah, so you get the dust sheets out so we don't get any paint

on the carpet.

You get more like Pauline every day.

But it's nice to see a man who's in touch with his feminine side.

Ben.

Feminine side?

-Ben, your mum...

-Just leave it.

Ben, just wait, will you?

-I'm the least feminine person.

-All right, then.

Well, you can start whenever you like, that wallpaper's minging.

There any news from Belinda?

Yeah, the investors she went to knocked her back.

All of them?

Yeah, except Mick and Linda.

She hasn't seen them yet, but she said they're pretty up for it.

You having me on?

No, Linda's well keen.

Martin, it's a start.

A start, yeah. But a lousy grand ain't going to keep the wolf

from the door forever is it?

She's trying to take charge of everything.

Even picking Lee and Whitney's gift list out of the catalogue for them.

-No wonder they didn't take her shopping.

-Yeah, all right, pipe down.

You know what Linda's like - she likes to feel like she's helping.

Just thought I'd make the most of Dot having Matthew and we could have a bit of a catch up.

Well, not that there's much to catch up on, not my end.

Did Amy show you her certificate? She won the spelling competition.

-No.

-Yeah.

Well, she don't get it from me.

Yeah, I know, I told her you were practically illiterate.

I get paid this Saturday.

-Maybe I'll do something really nice with her.

-Yeah.

You could buy her a pair of those trainers, the ones that light up.

Yeah, all right. Well, we'll go girlie shopping.

Yeah, she'd love that. Why don't you take her to the library too, seeing she's such a brain box.

-To the library?

-Yeah.

Do those things still exist?

Yes, they do.

Thanks, Gloria. Can you pass me the laptop again, please?

Yes, sure.

-There you go.

-Thanks.

-Thank you for cheering me up.

-What are you talking about?

-I only bought you a bit of chicken.

-Yeah, but I'm easy, aren't I?

Yeah, so it says on the toilet walls.

Now get here, I want my lunch.

What's he grinning about?

He has just had an offer on his last flat.

-Not a bad offer neither.

-Are you going to take it?

Yep, that's it. We're nearly done with that place.

And then what?

Then we go and find another one and make another ton of cash.

Hello, Maria?

Yes, it's Jane Beale.

Yeah, thanks, I'm much better, thank you.

It's just a quick one actually, I just wanted to check something.

You are still supplying our wines and spirits, aren't you?

Yeah, I thought so. The same quantities?

You haven't heard of a company called Rarer Wines, have you?

Anything to do with you?

OK, thanks.

No, no, it just must be a mistake in the books.

I'll be in touch again soon, thanks.

Bye.

I'd like the number for Rarer Wines, London, please.

No, not Rare, Rarer. R-A-R-E-R.

There you both are. I kept missing you yesterday.

Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry about that.

We've been up the wall with the wedding and everything, ain't we?

-Oh, yeah.

-Well, I've got a fabulous wedding package - nails, make-up,

hair, bubbly, the lot.

You should book yourselves in.

Bride, bridesmaids, mothers of the bride and groom.

Of course you get a big discount now, being investors.

-Eh?

-I drew up this business plan yesterday and the contracts.

So all we have to do is sign, and we can get moving.

I think you've jumped the gun a little bit, darling, cos...

I know, I know, I do get carried away.

It's just the salon's all I've got left now.

My chance to pick up the pieces and put myself back together.

And you'll make a brilliant job of it.

You're a very, very talented lady.

But...

But me and Mick, we can't invest.

What?

I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.

I thought you were a dead cert.

Oh, you did a great pitch and I'd love to get involved.

Yeah, what it is, L, is we just ain't got that sort of readies

wrapped round us at the moment.

The only savings I've got are for Ollie, you know, in case he needs...

I'm so sorry.

Something'll turn up though. I mean, you've asked other people, right?

Oh, yeah. I've got people biting my hand off.

Good. You want a drink?

Yeah, on the house, of course.

No, that's really nice

but I've got back-to-back appointments all day, you know.

See you later.

Bet Bronte didn't work like this, doing stock check on bog rolls.

Six.

There you are.

You know, this essay's got to be in tonight and I'm not even sure

if it's any good.

Of course it will be.

Come on, Denise, you've got to believe in yourself. That's what I say to my Billy.

Do you know what, he doesn't half worry, you know.

I said to him, I said, "Billy, Les wouldn't have put you

"in charge if he didn't think you were up to the job."

It is only his first week,

he's going to find his feet soon enough, ain't he?

You are not going to believe what Vincent's been playing at.

He was only trying to book me another theory test.

Aw, that's sweet of him.

Sweet, you say?

And the problem is?

I'm not driving. Didn't I say that?

Oh, come on. You're not going to let that little bump with Dot put you off.

Yeah, quite right.

No, what's putting me off is that everybody thinks it's my fault.

Including my own husband. He's on my case, telling me to apologise.

Well, Dot's not getting any younger, is she?

Which is why she shouldn't be driving, innit.

I don't know about that, but she was in here for her fags before

and she gave me the wrong money.

Swore blind that a tenner was 20 and wanted change.

Oh, bless her.

You see, there it is, she's confused.

That doesn't mean you should've been driving on your own

and you know that.

Kim, just grow up and be the bigger person.

-No appointments this afternoon, girls?

-Nothing.

You might as well go home, then.

I only came to see Amy.

Mummy!

Hello, gorgeous, you all right?

Listen, I heard all about this amazing spelling certificate...

-Roxy.

-..and because I've had the best idea,

on Saturday, you and me are going to celebrate.

I'm going to Paris to see Penny, and guess what?

We're going to Disney.

What?

He's only just planned it as a surprise.

I was going to call you, but...

Sorry, Rox. I didn't know you had plans.

So I thought we'd do Lily's room first, seeing as she's so excited.

These colours ain't going in our bedroom, are they?

I think they're going to give me nightmares.

-Purple's nice.

-Still a goth at heart, eh?

You're going to get it now.

Oi! Oi!

Maybe inviting Romeo might have been a mistake.

I thought these two would be the distraction,

but they're sitting watching telly, good as gold.

Come on you lot, I want to get started now, all right?

Bex, slow down. Bex.

Shaks, no.

-Look what you've done.

-I'm so sorry.

You will be, mate, when you get her dry cleaning bill.

You're home early.

You ain't sick are you?

I'm sick of life, Stace.

Why, what's happened?

Mick and Linda won't invest.

No-one will.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Oh, it's you.

Look, Mrs B, I didn't come round here for any trouble.

You better come in, then.

Thank you.

I just wanted to say...

..s-s-s-sorry.

There, that's it. I said it.

Yeah, and about time too.

Excuse me?

It's disgraceful.

What's a disgrace?

Breaking the law. Driving without a licence or insurance.

I mean, it's all very well on the telly when there's a catastrophe,

but you could've killed me.

You are the one that pulled out on me, remember?

No mirror, no signal, no nothing, yeah?

I was on the road first, it was my right of way.

Why can't you just admit to it?

And you say that you came to apologise?

Everyone round here thinks that I'm some kind of idiot.

They are putting money on me failing my test.

All I want is the truth, that's all I want.

And you call yourself a woman of God? Do me a favour.

I think you ought to go.

With pleasure.

And you can forget your apology.

You got another one of them for a damsel in distress?

Yeah, when you put it like that.

You're wasted on that stall, you should've been a model.

Everything OK?

Never better.

Right, I'd better get back to it, before he starts whipping me.

Now that I would like to see.

Will you just watch Arthur while I get Lily ready for bed?

So Belinda, what you going to do about this rent?

-Oh, here we go.

-Will you just lay off her?

No, I'm not going to pussyfoot around it, Stace.

Five ton's got to be paid tomorrow or we're in trouble, so...

Is that all you can think about?

I'm on my knees here.

No business, no husband, no life.

I thought someone had thrown me a life belt, turns out it was a flamin' brick.

We've all been in the same boat, Belinda.

I worked like a dog to get back on track, you've got your head in cloud-cuckoo land.

Right, you've said enough.

Just go in the kitchen, drink your beer and chill.

Chill? Yeah, I wish. She's about to make us all homeless.

You'll get your poxy rent, don't you worry about it.

Right, better get back to it.

No, one more minute.

We're going to have a whole night to do this soon.

I don't know how - never get a minute's peace here

and yours is no better.

Well, I'll figure something out for your birthday though.

Believe me, it'll be worth it, babe.

What's going on in here? Come on, you're meant to be upstairs.

Actually, I've got to shoot. I'm going to Louise's.

-What, now?

-Yeah, see you tomorrow.

So Babe'll join us as soon as she knocks off.

Now, who've we got? We've got Kathy - tick.

Tracey - tick. Sharon - tick.

-I feel like I'm back in school.

-She's worse than me.

I just want you to win, that's all.

I'm not having that pig in a wig lording it over me again.

Oh, here she is. The one we've all been waiting for.

Sorry. Listen, I've got a bit of bad news.

-Eh?

-Well, I've got to go to Paris tomorrow.

Paris? All right for some.

-So you ain't playing?

-No.

Well, not unless you can throw darts a few hundred miles.

Listen, I'm good, I'm not that good.

Well, it looks like you're back on the team, Linda.

Wait till Babe hears about it.

-Sorry.

-Come on, you can do it.

Just aim for the board.

I've always wondered what bankers do all day. Sounds all right to me,

sitting there, fingering all that lovely cash.

I just feel bad on her, you know, in the home on her own all day.

Ian's away, Lauren and Steven, well, they do their own thing.

But she's all right, though?

She was great this morning,

but then when I left to come here, she seemed a bit quiet.

Oh, you should've brought her.

Yeah, I was going to, but after what happened...

-Why don't we go to her?

-What, now?

I thought you were supposed to be practising.

We'll have a few more games, and then when Babe's finished, we'll

grab a couple of bottles and see if we can't put a smile on her face.

Good idea.

Go on Kath, you're up.

I think I'm going to get off, ladies, I'll speak to you later.

Jane.

I've been thinking, maybe we should do a Halloween menu.

Sounds good to me.

We could do a taster menu and we could do a promotion for kids -

they eat free before seven, that sort of thing.

You're really invested in the restaurant, aren't you?

Put a lot of time into it?

I do my best.

You all right, babe? Is Louie asleep?

Yeah, out like a light.

Hi.

Hope you don't mind, brought you a few visitors.

We thought we'd swing by, bring a bottle.

-What's all this?

-We just thought we'd come and see how you're doing.

Here, go and get cracking, there's a good boy.

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, thank you. Really good.

Lil's in our bed. She's well excited.

It will be nice in here, won't it, when it's all tarted up?

Yeah, make it our own.

This is pretty much all I've ever wanted.

My own little family, under a decent roof.

You need to stop getting wound up by Belinda.

Where is she now?

Out drowning her sorrows.

Spending the rent money.

So anyway, he starts on Monday.

A sales executive, if you please.

We are so proud. Honestly, I never thought I'd see the day.

She's picking out these gifts from the catalogue like it's her wedding.

Oi. I can hear you, you know?

Oh, I'm sure I'll be the same.

When Denny's married with kids, I'll still be clipping his toenails.

We all love a good old family wedding, don't we?

So, Ronnie, what did you do for your wedding?

Which one?

Seriously, I don't think me and Jack are going to bother.

I mean, I'm not exactly a blushing bride, am I?

I read in a magazine that guests are supposed to spend the same amount

on a present that the hosts spend on the meal and all of that.

I mean, wedding etiquette - it's a minefield.

Oh. Well, Lee and Whit aren't having a big do,

they're just having a nice party afterwards.

So you ain't spending much on your guests?

They'll be lucky to get a bar of soap, then.

Jane, would you like a little cheeky top-up?

I've had two already and it's going down a bit too nicely -

it's gone straight to my head.

Well, it must be just what you needed.

-You sure you didn't mind us turning up?

-No, of course not.

I saw Ben earlier.

Didn't seem too perky.

Well, would you, Babe?

You know the hospital's asked him to see a psychologist.

Yeah, I suppose you've heard why?

-I wasn't having a go.

-Let's not go into this now.

I'm worried sick about my boy, OK, so I spoke to the hospital.

They need to know the truth. Anyone got a problem with that?

He just wants his dad to get better, Kath.

Yes, of course he does, but Phil chose to wreck his own life.

-Hear, hear.

-Excuse me. He's an alcoholic, all right -

it's an illness.

Yeah, but why should Ben have to risk his life to save Phil's?

You wouldn't ask Denny, would you?

No. No, I wouldn't.

It's what Ben wants and he's an adult.

I think it's lovely what he's trying to do for his dad.

Come on, girls, we're supposed to be cheering Jane up.

I don't need cheering up.

Yeah, look, I'm sorry, OK. Let's just change the subject.

Actually, I was thinking...

Tomorrow's the match, you know, our big night out -

why don't you come along?

To the Feathers? No.

Cheer us on, and we can have a drink for Sharon's birthday.

-Ah, don't remind me.

-No, thank you, but...

-Oh, go on, why not?

Ian's away at his conference, I'm going to be there.

You could do with a bit of company and a giggle.

Yeah, little road trip.

What do you reckon?

-Go on.

-I'll think about it, all right.

Think about it?

All right, I'll come.

Yay. That's the spirit.

Actually, Sharon, I need the loo. Would you mind?

No. What are mates for except hanging out in the khazi?

Look, Sharon, I've got to tell someone.

Yeah, yeah, what is it?

Just promise me it won't go any further. I want to work it out on my own before shooting my mouth off.

Yeah, course.

You know I haven't worked much since the accident and everything,

but I just fancied dipping my toe back in, you know?

So I had a look at the accounts...

Well, the business is doing OK, isn't it?

Yeah, well, the takings are fine, but...

I saw some dodgy payments to a non-existent company.

Someone's been stealing from our business,

using the fact that I'm like this to get away with it.

Well, who'd do that?

Well, that's the thing.

It can only be one of two people -

Ian...

or Steven.