04/04/2017 EastEnders

Wait here a sec. I'll just get the money.

DISTANT CHATTER

I really don't think this is a good idea. They only lost Sylvie a few days ago.

This is your trouble. You're not pushy enough.

I should get back to the stall.

Are you still doing the cycle ride at the end of the week?

-Yes.

-Have you drummed up enough volunteers?

No.

Well then. You promised Denise you would organise this.

She can't do everything and revise and take care of you.

I don't need looking after.

And I know why your mum went Awol too.

Give it time.

People have funny ideas about who's allowed to fancy who.

I think you and Denise make a great couple.

I knew this was a bad idea.

-Where you going?

-Oh!

Johnny, have you got time for a quick word?

Yeah, sure.

-Look, we know it's a hard...

-Yeah, yeah, yeah - we're really sorry about Sylvie.

Cheers.

The thing is, Kush here's in a bit of a fix.

You know he's organising the sponsored exercise bike ride?

Oh, yeah, I heard something about that.

It's to raise money for Fayre on the Square.

Well, he needs more people to rack up the 300 miles to Land's End.

At the moment they'll be lucky enough to reach the M25.

Be a hero and lend us some pedal power?

Oh... I'm not sure. It's really full-on here.

-Johnny, have you got a minute?

-Sure.

-I'm really sorry, guys, I need to...

-No, no...

No. Go.

Just sign me up, yeah?

There you see! That's how you do it!

So? What's up?

I just wondered what you were doing this afternoon.

Well, Whitney's not in till later, so it's just me and Tracey at the bar.

-Oh, and I've got work to do on my dissertation.

-Oh.

-Why?

I'm going to see Shirley later.

I'm going to break the news about Mum.

Oh, well, do you want me to come with you?

-I'm sure she'll be fine by...

-No, it sounds like you're needed here. Don't worry, it'll be fine.

Here you go.

Come on, at this price there's hardly any saving.

Exactly! Look, we can't afford to be generous.

We need to make every single penny count.

-Did you know she was being discharged today?

-What?

I hope she's not looking for any sympathy.

Yeah, well, she ain't going to get any from me.

Listen, you should think yourself lucky.

At least you're insured for what she did.

Right, so we have your air fresheners and your odour neutralisers.

Or are you after a room fragrance?

Well, I don't mind as long as it gets rid of the bin smell.

Right. You have emptied it, haven't you?

Yes, of course! But it still stinks, though.

I know what you need. Baking soda.

Yeah. Spoonful of that in the bottom, Bob's your uncle!

What? Instead of using the air fresheners?

Sorry, Jay, I'm needed on the till.

Oh, I like your hair.

Oh, thanks, Abi.

Ben harder to live with than you thought?

Yeah, you don't know the half of it.

Look, what do you reckon? Look.

Jay!

You're a girl. Would you live in somewhere that smelt like that?

What are you on about?

-Are you OK?

-Yeah. Me and Ben are interviewing house mates this afternoon.

What? And you think making it smell like a toilet is going to help?

Well I've got to do something. Ben's no use.

We both took the day off today, right,

and all he's done is sat around in his pants.

Urgh, all right.

Yeah, well, he doesn't realise that our rent's due the end of the week.

And if we can't tempt someone to move in then we're going to get kicked out.

OK, Jay, calm down...

Yeah, well, I've got nowhere else to go, Abi.

Well, what if I had a look over it?

Maybe I could think of something to zhoosh the place up a bit.

No, you'd be wasting your time, I think.

Like doing the shopping for Gran is the highlight of my day off(!)

Come on - a woman's touch may be all it needs.

Sharon, I don't want to argue with you, I just want my handbag.

-Michelle, hang on...

-I'm sure I left it in the kitchen.

Look, it's over there on the side.

What do you need it for anyway?

Oh, thank God!

-Where are you going?

-To pack.

You what? You're not leaving?

Please, Sharon, I know you think you did the right thing

sending Preston away, but it wasn't up to you.

For the rest of his life, he's going to believe the lies you told him.

The least I owe him is the truth.

I just need some money for the flight.

-What?

-Well, if I leave now I can be back in the States first thing tomorrow.

-You're due at the police station in a couple of hours.

-That's only for a statement.

Lend us the cash and I'll be out of your hair.

I don't want you out of my hair, I want you to stop running away.

Michelle, wait!

Right, where is she? I know she's back.

Look, there's Mummy.

What's she doing? What's Mummy doing?

-Mum!

-What's she doing?

Steven, are you...are you going to take Louie to see Stacey or what?

Oh, no, she's spotted us. OK, ready? Let's knock it down.

Ready? One, two, three...

Hi, Mummy!

Can you cut it out, please!

I haven't got time. My boss is already pestering me

for these stupid online engagement reports.

-PHONE RINGS

-I bet that's him now.

Aren't you going to answer it?

Yeah, yeah, course.

-Hello.

-It's Josh. Is this a good time?

I guess so. I am sort of working.

That's why I called, it's about a job.

-Seriously?

-Yeah, a photographic job. Are you interested?

Yeah. Yeah, course I'm interested. What do I need to know?

I thought we could meet up.

Tonight? That might be a little bit tricky. It's just...

-Tell you what, let me see what I can do, yeah?

-Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

All right. See you later. Bye.

So was that your boss, then?

No, no, it was a mate.

There's a photography job going that I might be interested in.

Would you be able to look after Louie for me tonight,

so then I can meet up and we can talk about it, you know?

How can I? I'm at the restaurant.

Can't you ask Joel to cover for you or something?

Or... Why can't Gran do it?

She's not in. Please, Steven, this could be perfect for me.

It's in Canary Wharf. It's something that I've always wanted to do.

Canary Wharf? So you'd be away from home even more.

I don't know. That's something that I'm going to need to ask.

Is it really what you want?

Look, I'm not saying I'm going to get it, but what have I got to lose?

Anything's got to be better than what I'm doing now.

So quit your job.

If you really hate it that much, Lauren, just quit.

You know, we'll cope, somehow.

Plus, you'd get to spend so much more time with Louie.

I don't want to not work.

Just because I don't enjoy what I'm doing now,

doesn't mean that I want to be a stay at home mum.

Look, I'm asking you to look after him for one night.

Is that really so much to ask?

Ian, I'm sorry. I'd no idea you hadn't paid your insurance.

That's not my fault, though.

Yeah, and it's not my fault you went mad chasing after some boy.

I mean, aren't you ashamed?

-That's enough, Ian...

-Have you got any idea what people are calling you?

She has only just come out of hospital.

Yeah, and I could lose my business. Do you get that?

It is going cost me thousands to get that chippy up and running again,

-never mind all the custom I'm losing...

-All right, OK...

-Where am I going to find that kind of money from?

-I'll pay!

If that's what it takes to stop you hating me,

I'll scrape it together somehow.

How? You don't have any money.

Not here, no. But I own half of the house in Florida.

Once I'm over there I can start sorting things out.

So you're going back?

I just need someone to sub me for the flight.

Well, it makes sense, doesn't it?

I'll speak to Tim, we'll come to some sort of an arrangement.

-And how long's that going to take?

-I'll believe it when I see it.

Oh, Ian, I'm only trying to put things right.

Then stop making promises you can't keep.

You can't just carry on hurting everyone else around you, including yourself.

Now, Preston is not the only person you should be concerned about.

Fine.

So what do you want me to do?

Are you sure Dot's all right with us borrowing her plants, yeah?

Yeah, it's only for a few hours. And plus the cushions

are from my bed, so...

There, what do we think?

I like it. I like it. It's much, much better.

What you doing?

It's an interview, not an interrogation.

We need somewhere to sit, don't we?

-Well, you better go and get one more then, hadn't you.

-One more what?

-A chair.

-Who for?

-DOORBELL RINGS

-I'll get that then, shall I?

Yeah, cheers, Abi.

What do we need her for? This ain't even her house.

Because we don't know who's going to walk through that door.

If having her here makes it a bit more appealing, then what's the issue?

Will you cut that out?!

Just promise me one thing.

That we will ask at least one of these to move in.

Cos if we don't, we won't be calling this our house much longer.

-Deal?

-All right, bruv, deal.

Ben, Jay - this is Hellraiser.

All right, lads? How's it hanging?

You sure you don't want me to come in with you?

You didn't need to come this far.

I could have got here on my own.

That's not what I asked.

I'll be fine. It's just a formality, ain't it?

Yeah, yeah, course.

So are you going to go in or not?

I thought she was in bed, see.

Only Mum, she must've got it into her head that she wanted a bath.

Spit it out, Tina.

You know the CD player in the kitchen?

Well, she dragged it in with her.

I think she was going to prop it up on the side of the bath.

And we knew nothing about it.

We were all down in the bar when the fuses blew.

She's not with us any more, Shirley.

Mum...

She's died.

You OK?

She always did like a big exit, didn't she?

Well, what type of life would she have had?

Fading away in some home.

It's better for everyone, and Sylvie, that she's gone.

I'm required to remind you that since you're not under arrest

you are free to leave this interview at any stage if you wish.

You're also entitled to free and independent legal advice.

I told you, there's no need. I'm not here to hide anything.

-Well, if you do change your mind...

-I just wanted to say how sorry I am.

Obviously it was never my intention to crash the car.

It was just a stupid accident.

Well, then maybe you could start by telling me what happened.

To be honest, it's all a bit hazy.

-Hazy?

-My memory, I mean.

Maybe I had to swerve.

Maybe someone stepped out into the road.

I can't recall.

I just know you must have far more serious cases to deal with.

You must recall my colleagues took a blood sample at the hospital

to check for intoxicants.

-Oh, no, I wasn't drunk.

-I didn't say that you were.

The fact is the test showed you were under the legal alcohol limit.

Well, there you are, then. Like I say, I don't want to waste any more of your time.

However, traces of drugs were found in your bloodstream.

Prescription drugs, to be precise.

Ms Fowler, can you explain how you came to be behind the wheel

of a car with sleeping pills in your system?

I hope we're not putting you off with all these questions.

We just want to make sure you'd fit in.

Yeah. Is there anything you want to ask us?

Yeah, have you got Wi-Fi?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Is it encrypted?

Well, it's got a password. But anything you look at online, that's totally up to you.

Take a look at his browsing history if you don't believe us.

Show us yours first!

No, but they're watching you.

Governments, corporations -

they can hack in, and not just our computers.

Sorry, sorry, mate, what you on about?

They're controlling us with the signals.

We have to protect ourselves. Would you like me to teach you how?

BEN SCOFFS

Ms Fowler, I'm simply trying to ascertain why you took your pills

if you knew you were going to drive a car.

-I've explained that.

-You were upset?

Yes. But if the doctor had been clear about how seriously

they could have affected my driving...

I mean, you just assume they have to say that.

Look, don't blame me. I thought they'd calm me down.

Thank you.

This interview was suspended at 3.26pm.

-So that's it then?

-For the time being.

Your case will be sent to the Crown Prosecution Service for them

to consider whether you should be charged with dangerous driving

-and driving whilst unfit through drugs.

-Wait, wait, no, no, no.

Ms Fowler, you could have killed someone.

And I thank God I didn't, really I do.

If the CPS do decide to charge,

you'll be notified of a date to appear at Magistrates Court.

What? Wait. Wait. No, when? You don't understand - I won't even be in the country.

Ms Fowler, are you saying you intend to leave the UK?

What are you doing listening to Billy Mitchell anyway?

He's just trying to earn a few quid by selling you the handles.

Actually, no, Billy is doing us a deal.

No upfront costs, and pay the whole lot in instalments.

I thought you and Mick might be able to help.

Don't look at me. Why do you think I'm in here?

-Because you couldn't cope with Mum even when she was alive.

-Oh.

Oh, forget it. What's the point anyway?

Mick can't even come to the funeral and you clearly don't even care.

What do you expect me to do, stuck in here?

Nothing. As usual.

You know what, I know you didn't love Mum, but you know that I did.

-And I thought maybe you would have cared about that.

-Listen, Tina...

Enjoy your last few days inside.

That didn't look pretty. Hope it wasn't bad news.

Shut your face!

What you see is what you get. Ain't that right, Ben?

We like to keep the place spick and span.

Absolutely. Spick and span.

You know, we're just a couple of ordinary, straight-up blokes.

Abi will tell you. If you decided to move in here, she'd be

in safe hands, wouldn't she, Abi?

Yeah. Can I show you out?

Thanks.

I'll definitely be in touch.

OK. Bye.

-Happy, bruv?

-Too right!

Until she turned up, I thought we were going to get nothing but weirdos. The guy with the...

Wi-Fi boy? He spooked me out, he did.

Listen, let's just hope she likes the smell of your air freshener.

She will, son. Don't worry about that.

I wouldn't start celebrating just yet.

Look, she didn't want to say it in front of you, but she wants

somewhere she can relax and feel comfortable.

Well, I thought that's what all this was about - with the pot plants and the cushions and...

I don't think the plants were the problem.

Look, it's all right, we'll just stick out another advert.

How long's that going to take? We ain't really got much time.

You want to live with one of those other freaks?

Well, Wi-Fi boy might keep himself to himself.

Jay, you just said...

Why don't you rent the room out to tourists instead?

Abi, stay out of this.

Oi, I'm just saying,

if you put it online, it wouldn't matter who stayed.

They'd only be here for a few days, and I bet you'd never be short of guests.

House on a traditional London square, close to the Tube.

You guys could charge a fortune.

Or you could let one of the freaks move in.

It's up to you.

Right, Louie seems happy in front of CBeebies.

I've brought his pyjamas down.

And he just needs his milk before bed, yeah.

Yeah, that's what I'm doing now.

Wow!

You sure it's just a job you're going to talk about?

What does that mean?

Bit dressed up, aren't you?

I'm hardly going to turn up in my joggers, am I?

-And I've literally been through my whole wardrobe.

-OK.

I've got to make a good impression.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm sorry. And you look amazing.

-You know I'm always going to support you?

-Yeah.

-Right, I'd better run.

-Knock 'em dead.

And we'll be here waiting for you when you get home.

Not taking a shower, then?

It's bad enough you stinking the place out with your mood.

You know, whatever it is that friend of yours told you,

it ain't healthy bottling things up.

Least that's what my caseworkers are always telling me.

The pressure just builds and builds and builds.

And you look like you've got all sorts of poisonous crud

eating you up inside.

Trust me, Toytown, you need to let it out.

Excuse me, Madam, if you wouldn't mind.

Your table's ready now.

Oh, right, thank you.

Oh, sorry.

PHONE BEEPS

Wave to Mummy.

Josh.

You're not bailing on me, are you?

I thought that you might have...

I didn't realise it was so posh.

Is that why you haven't dressed up?

You look beautiful, by the way.

May I take your jacket?

Yeah. Yeah.

At least tell us who it was visiting you.

Judging by the resemblance, I thought maybe daughter?

Then again, you don't seem like the mothering type.

Just like my mum.

She asked to visit me once.

After years not even knowing where she was,

suddenly the nasty cow gets in touch saying I have to see her.

Like just because she gave birth to me, I owe her something.

Forget that.

If I ever have kids, I'm going to be there for them.

You can't just wish those years back once they're gone.

What?

No, I know, but you are still recovering, Phil.

Look, I hate leaving you on your own but I can't come back now, though.

Not while Michelle's acting so crazy.

Someone has to make her see sense.

The only reason she agreed to go to the police was because

I persuaded her to.

And she should have been back hours ago.

What if she's found some way to pay for a flight?

She's made a big enough fool of herself as it is.

We hoped you'd gone for good.

How can I, Phil?

She stopped me falling apart before we left for Italy.

It's my turn now, OK.

Could I get the ser-vish and then the supreme de poo-let, please?

The ceviche and the supreme de poulet.

That's what the lady said.

-And for you, sir?

-The scallops and the lamb.

I should have just pointed at the menu.

He shouldn't have been so stuck up.

You sure you don't want some wine?

No, no, thanks.

Trying to keep a clear head?

No, no, it ain't that.

I just... It's got a bad effect on me.

Alcohol, I mean.

So when you said you were driving the other night...?

I lied. Sorry.

Well, you were very convincing.

I'm just... I'm a lot more fun without it, that's all.

Well, you certainly proved that.

I was gutted when your mate Whitney dragged you away.

Yeah, she... She had to get home, so...

And now I've got you all to myself.

I thought you'd brought me here so we could talk about this job.

Tell me something interesting about yourself first.

There's not much to tell.

Not until you tell me about this new job.

I'm serious! You first.

Go on.

Ben!

Ben, have you seen Michelle? Denny said she just left.

-Er, no. Sorry, Sharon.

-Right.

Michelle!

It just does my head in, you know.

Watching them all in their offices, telling their stories about

uni and their hipster clothing and I'm thinking, "I could do your job."

Instead I'm making teas and retweeting messages.

Even more reason to go for the job.

I know it's nothing arty or anything, just taking snaps for the firm's property portfolio.

-It's a start, though, ain't it?

-And it might lead on to something else.

Why would they be interested in me?

-I've got no experience.

-So what?

So what?

You know what it's like - you need a degree.

Or you need to know the right sorts of people. I don't even have a decent camera.

The company's got all the equipment.

And you do know someone.

Like who?

Me, of course. I've put in a good word for you.

Oh, like that's going to make all the difference.

Look, this is something you've always wanted to do, yeah?

Yeah, I told you that.

So the way I see it is, one day you'll be sat at home

next to some lucky fella,

bouncing a beautiful baby on your knee, and the last thing you'll

want to be thinking about is all the opportunities that you missed.

Life can tie you down pretty fast.

Don't put barriers up before you've even tried.

You...

You don't know me.

What makes you think I'd be any good?

Gut feeling?

The minute I saw you I thought there was something about you.

Well, maybe that's not the first thing I thought.

The ceviche?

Lovely, thank you.

And scallops.

-Thank you.

-Enjoy.

Not every dream has to be a fantasy, Lauren.

You just have to dare to go for it.

Go on, then, tuck in.

Michelle!

Michelle, hold on!

Michelle, where you going?

Look, wait!

Where've you been?

I was starting to worry you'd gone to the airport.

-Well, I'm definitely not going anywhere now.

-What do you mean?

They confiscated my passport, didn't they?

I told them I was going back to the States.

And don't even bother pretending you aren't pleased.

Babe, I really think this is for the best.

Come on, let me get you home.

What? So I can't make a fool of myself?

I heard you talking to Phil.

I'm acting crazy, am I?

I really think you're better without Preston in your life.

That's the end of it, now you can start to move on.

And because you're such an expert, we should all be taking life lessons off you.

That is not fair...

What makes you think you're so much better?

Married to an alcoholic, your ex-husband's brother.

Why would I want your help?

I could have straightened things out with Preston in my own way.

This is my life, Sharon. Not yours, mine!

Yes.

And look what a mess you've made of it.

Sharon!