13/04/2017 EastEnders

-Denny, I want you to hoover round the place later.

-What?

-And, Louise, you can clean the bathroom.

-I'm meeting a friend.

Meet who you like when you've done your jobs.

You know what? This is like Christmas all over again.

Why? Cos I want to make things nice?

It's called the Easter holidays for a reason, Sharon.

What?

Nothing.

No, what, Michelle?

Just imagining what would've happened

if I'd spoke to my mum like that.

Well, I was there, remember?

You held your own.

The other day...

I'm sorry.

I was a right cow.

Yeah, you were.

Moo.

Oh, Michelle.

PHONE RINGS

Still no answer.

Don't stress, she's probably in the shower.

She's 40 minutes late for work, Stace.

Tina's still off and Kathy's rushed off her feet.

Well, maybe she's overslept.

She's a teenage girl, you know what they're like.

-Do I?

-Well, yeah, you grew up with one, didn't you?

Yeah, but she was well busy with her own life when I came along.

-Martin, she's still your sister.

-Why are you defending her?

I'm not. But, you know, family's precious.

And you think I don't know that?

Sorry.

It's just, it's Mark's anniversary today.

Martin, I forgot.

-No, it's all right.

-I'm so sorry.

As far as I'm concerned, she's as dead as he is.

I'm not sleeping too well.

Thought I'd take a walk,

visit Mark.

Listen, anniversaries throw up all sorts of feelings.

It's understandable you're feeling low.

It's not just about Mark, though, is it? It's about me.

Making a fool of myself, over and over again.

I tried to call Preston.

Please don't look at me like that. You and me, we'd argued.

I was drunk. I felt desperate.

And?

-His mum answered.

-Oh...

Oh, I know.

I know, I've got her words on a loop in my head.

You know, even after all these years,

sometimes I really do not understand you.

-Why?

-I dunno.

S'pose I just wanted to tell him how sorry I was,

see if he'd forgive me.

There's no future for you there. You know that.

Well, there's not much of a future for me here either, is there?

Take you out of the equation and what have I got?

A brother who hates me and a Square full of ghosts.

I was just coming to find you.

Do you have you any idea what time it is?

Bex, you're an hour late for work.

Yes, and talking to you is only going to make me later.

What's happened to your leg?

Dance injury. Extreme salsa.

You sure you want us tonight then?

You trying to back out?

No, course not. I'm just saying if you're injured...

We'll see you at seven.

Food style, Michelin star. Dress code, debonair.

I thought tonight was casual.

Casual? That's just another way of saying I don't care.

But what do I know? Maybe you don't.

Look, before you start, I know I was late, all right.

I've already apologised to Kathy.

Oh, no, it ain't that. I just wondered if you were still going to the cinema tonight with your mates.

-I'm not sure.

-Why not? It'd be fun, wouldn't it?

What's it to you if I do or I don't?

Don't matter to me. Go, don't go.

If you want the house to yourself so you can run round naked with Dad or whatever...

Excuse me! I never said that.

All right. Sorry.

It's just I want to have a quiet word with your dad.

But if you can't make tonight then that's fine.

Look, it's fine. I'll go out.

All right. Here you are.

Go and buy some popcorn on me.

Thanks, Mum.

Thanks.

Erm, we'll pay you later.

Oh, yeah, right.

The police been round to see you yet?

-Er, no, not yet. No.

-What?

Two fellas assault you in your own home and they don't show?

-Give me that copper's number, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind...

-It's fine, Mum.

It's all in hand, I promise.

You all right?

Well, first of all I get scammed by two girls,

now your mum's trying to sort out a copper for me.

It's hardly a confidence booster, is it?

It's a good price.

Must be using frozen.

No, they're buying fresh from Billingsgate.

-Have they spoke to you about potato varieties?

-They never stop.

You should go inside,

I'm sure Tina and Whitney would love to talk to you about it.

Unfortunately, I've got the books to do.

Martin.

I'm working.

I can see that.

I think we need to talk, don't you?

Both got to live here.

I'm sorry, OK. I am so sorry. I don't know what else I can say.

I've made a huge mistake, and I know you're embarrassed

and ashamed and angry.

How am I meant to make it up to you if you won't even look at me?

Why do you even want to make it up?

-Because you're my brother.

-What, and you care so much?

-I do.

So what day is it today then, 'chelle? Tell me that.

-Mark.

-Now you remember?

-What, you think I forgot?

-Of course you forgot. Cos it's not about you and your pathetic problems.

-Martin, please...

And now you're going to scrabble around pretending like you didn't.

You really think that little of me?

Bex? Customer.

-What do you want?

-Quick word.

-I've got nothing to say to you.

-Please.

I know you're angry and you've got good reason to be,

but I came here to warn you.

It's about tonight.

Do you think I'm really going to go to the cinema with you

after what you did?

You're angry, I get it.

-I'm sorry, I shouldn't've come.

-Wait, wait.

What about tonight?

Alex booked some seats behind you.

She was going to wait for the film to start, then cut your hair.

-Why are you telling me this?

-Cos they're taking it too far.

I said that to them last night.

Alex freaked, so now I'm out.

But I don't care.

Look, I know what we done to you was wrong,

but I guess I was just scared of her.

But I'm not scared any more.

Look, Bex, I just want you to know that I'm sorry, OK.

For a beginner, can I recommend the Maris Piper potato. Very forgiving.

Great. Thanks.

How you doing your batter?

-With a whisk.

-Have you thought about a beer batter, maybe?

I swear, any more chip-tips, and I will batter him...

I just said... I just said you still want us to come,

and she's giving me evils like I'm trying to back out.

-Why would I want to back out?

-No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't.

At least if this was a normal meal and this was a normal woman.

I know, right?

She's going on about all posh food, wanting us to get all dressed up.

Is there something I don't know here?

When it comes to Kim, there usually is.

Do you know what I think?

I think that she's trying to throw us off balance,

and when I say us, what I actually mean is you.

-Me?

-Yeah.

Look, all that stuff with our mum - her mum - and the baby,

it really messed Kim up,

and I think she's sort of being kind of overprotective towards me.

I think it's just going to be some sort of trial by fire,

see if you're up to the job.

-What job?

-Of being my boyfriend.

Yeah.

Michelle!

You can walk past me, you know, I ain't going to bite.

I was just heading back.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

We are allowed to talk, you know.

Course, but...

Look, I know that we're meant to be all daggers-drawn at the

minute but, to be honest with you...

..I'm not really feeling it.

Jane's got me planting these for the fayre next week.

I'm really behind, I could do with a hand.

Me and you, we make good gardening buddies, don't we?

Don't tell me you're worried about Martin seeing us together.

Look, I'm his wife, and I love him, but stuff him.

Still on for tonight?

Don't tell me you've forgotten. Cinema?

I can't, I'm sorry. I've got a really bad headache.

I was going to text you.

Spoken to Madison today?

No.

No, why?

She wanted to do stuff to you. Like embarrass you.

We said we were done with those games now,

-but she wouldn't let it go, would she, Lou?

-No.

I mean, you know we're just messing around, right?

But Madison, she really seems to hate you.

Don't worry, we'll sort her out for you.

-Look, you don't need to do that...

-We insist, don't we, Lou?

What you going to do to her?

Nothing too bad.

Hope your headache gets better.

Louise.

The thing you have to understand about Martin is, emotionally,

well, he's basically like a teenager.

I mean, I love him to death, but he just don't feel things by

degrees, it's all or nothing, you know, it's hot or cold.

-You know what I mean?

-Yeah.

But, you know, he feels strongly about something but if,

you know, if you handle him in the right way,

then he don't necessarily feel that way for very long.

Maybe. But I'm not holding my breath.

Best case scenario? I give him some space and hope that maybe one day

-he'll be able to tolerate me.

-Tolerate?

He's never going to trust me again, is he?

-Oh, he will.

-I'm not so sure.

Yes, he will.

He will, cos I do.

Look, I haven't said anything to Martin yet, and sister-in-law

or not, if you tell him before I get a chance

then that'll be the end of you.

I'm, erm... I'm pregnant.

I haven't told anyone yet, it's early days.

I haven't even told my mum. Only you.

Thank you. Oh, congratulations.

Martin did say you were trying, but so soon.

-When you going to tell him?

-Tonight. We've got the house to ourselves in case he freaks.

-What, because it's happened so quickly?

-Yeah.

I know. We're going to need all the support we can get.

I mean, we're hoping for the best, but if we get the worst,

then he really will need someone to lean on.

Brilliant.

It's Good Friday tomorrow. Why don't you come round ours?

You know, it's nothing special, just family. Me mum's coming.

-I'd love that, but...

-Oh, don't worry about Martin, I'll speak to him.

Anyway, it ain't going to be the biggest surprise he gets tonight, is it?

Ah! What you going for?

Model pout? Kissy face?

Shut up! I'm just showing Whit my make-up for tomorrow night.

-Ah, yeah, the girls' big night out.

-Mm-hmm.

-I'll leave you to it.

-Lauren?

-Yeah.

There's a sight to come home to.

-Ooh. How was your day?

-Better now.

-Good.

-You're ready early, aren't you?

-Ready?

Karaoke night at the Vic? The hair, make-up.

Oh. Yeah.

-I'm looking forward to it.

-Yeah, me too.

PHONE BEEPS

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Killer eyes, yeah?

Killer.

Ah! Welcome, welcome...

-Lookin' good, D.

-Tryin' hard, V, you know.

-And these are for you, darling.

-Oh, thank you.

We're watching our figures at the moment but, yeah, we appreciate the thought.

And this is for you, squire.

Cheers. You know what, go on through.

'Nuff with the charm. Killer eyes!

Thanks for coming.

Do you want to sit down?

I can't stop thinking about what we done to you, Bex.

I just wanted to say that I'm...

..really, really sorry.

So hang on, why are we here if we ain't got any money?

Remember Jim Branning? Dad said he used to collect glasses for drinks.

You must be joking.

-I ain't begging for a job as a potboy.

-We won't need to.

We'll just collect the glasses, and they'll feel obliged.

Trust me. Come on.

Love, even if we don't run the place as a chippy,

it's going to soar in value.

I mean, we'd be mugs to sell it now.

Yeah, if money's the only measure.

No. But, love, you've got to understand.

Fish and chips is in my blood.

Yeah, which is probably one reason why you're high risk for diabetes.

I'm sorry, love.

Look, I know the chippy's important to you.

The foundations of the empire, an' all that,

but you're getting older and so am I.

You don't need to run yourself ragged.

Let's relax and spend a bit more time together.

Yeah, but I'd miss it. The sounds, the smells, the queues...

-The money.

-If you're missing the chippy,

we could always do a pop-up outside the restaurant?

Worked a treat last summer.

That is a brilliant idea!

Thanks for everything, man, you've been so awesome.

It's fine.

I told my auntie everything this afternoon.

She said I should give you these.

They're truffles. She makes them every Easter for friends and family.

They're really nice.

Oh, thank you. That is really kind.

-Ooh.

-I mean they're really, really nice.

Do you want one?

-Is it that obvious?

-Kind of.

Mmm.

GIGGLING

Makes a change from eating your feelings, doesn't it?

What was that?

THEY LAUGH

What did I just eat?

Don't worry, it was totally organic.

What was it?!

You know my cat, Herbie?

Those truffles came straight from his litter tray!

I cannot believe the cheek of her.

So I went to Mark's grave earlier and she's left flowers.

-I don't understand.

-Michelle.

I had to remind her - I actually had to remind her about Mark earlier.

-Wouldn't surprise me if she's left them flowers as a message.

-For who?

For me, Stace. Acting like she cares about this family.

I think she does, Martin.

You really upset her earlier.

What, you talked to her?

No, not really.

Look, I'm not condoning what she did, but she knows she messed up.

Well, there you go. See, now she's getting at you. She's clever, Stace.

She'll do whatever it takes to wriggle her way back into this family.

But that's it right there, you just said it.

She's your sister, Martin.

She's the only family you've got left if you don't count Ian,

and I ain't being funny, but why would anyone count Ian if they had any sense?

You might need her one day.

We might need her.

Martin, there's something that I want to say...

Bex?

Bex, is that you?

Bex?

Now that was lovely, Kim.

Great ham.

-Prosciutto.

-Bless you.

More wine from the crystal decanter?

You know, you don't have to say that it's crystal, you know,

like every single time.

We all know that you bought an expensive wine vase.

Expensive?

How expensive?

How many times do I have to tell you, Vincent?

It's vulgar to talk about money...

in front of people.

If you'll excuse me.

I must partake of the powder room.

-Scream if you need help, all right.

-Yeah, all right.

Kush's wine glass is empty, Vincent.

-It's fine, I'm trying to pace myself.

-Pour the man a drink.

Yeah.

Let me just pour this for you.

So this... This is nice this, ain't it?

The four of us together.

-One big, happy family.

-Yeah.

Is that what you want to be? Family?

Cos with family comes commitment.

All right, I know what you're trying to do here.

Are you committed, Kush?

Take Vincent here.

Casanova. Gangster. Recording artist.

But he gave all that up because he's committed.

Recording artist, yeah.

D said something about you done some rapping?

-Yeah, it was back in the day.

-Yeah?

-That's not important right now.

-Something I would have heard?

-Erm...

Dr Funk, You're Marvellous.

No. No way. That...

-That was a tune!

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Thanks.

No, thank you. Or should I say, "funk you".

I mean, that was my tune. I can't believe this!

-Yeah.

-I can't believe it!

I can't believe I'm just sitting across the table from the guy...

Do you know, I want to shake your hand right now.

Can I do that? Can I shake your hand right now?

-Yes.

-Come here.

-Boom.

-Boom.

Please tell me that ain't real gold.

HE SINGS LIKE KATE BUSH

Oh, cheers, boys. You've been very helpful tonight.

Well, we can see you're busy.

Almost like you're auditioning to be potmen.

She's just being cynical.

-Look, not everyone's on the make.

-Oh, no, he's right. Ignore me.

Thank you for your help, and now I'll happily take your money. What can I get you?

-Er, we're all right for the minute.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Oh.

So have you thought about what you're going to wear tomorrow night?

Er...no. No, not really.

Suit yourself. But I warn you,

I ain't going casual, Lauren, I am dressing to impress.

-Someone's on the pull, then?

-Maybe.

It's going to be a fun night for me, eh.

You can be third wheel for once.

You girls want any drinks?

No, I'm fine, thank you.

Are you sure he's all right about us going out tomorrow?

Yeah, course he is. Why?

Well, it's just some fellas, they get funny don't they,

about their girls going out on their own?

He ain't like that. He trusts me and I trust him.

Millions of people call your name. Vincent, come on, please, play it.

-You can do this for me...

-It's been such a long time.

-No, it's memories, ain't it.

-That I'm trying to let go of.

Come on. Spotlight.

FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

Stepping in.

Let's hear it.

OK. OK.

# Dr Funk, that's right

# Guess you never ever ever thought I would grab this mic

# No, don't start with your blah, blah, blah

# Just bounce to the rhythm of the strum of the guitar... #

I know what you were trying to do tonight, Kim, don't think I don't.

-So does he pass?

-Does it look like he's failed?

He's a good man, you know. You don't need to worry about me.

I ain't worrying about you right now.

You need to marry him before Vincent does.

SHE MOCKS VINCENT'S SINGING

OK!

Yeah, yeah, lovely, lovely.

That was insane.

OK, back in the room. Back in the room.

So are we ready for dessert, yeah?

Nothing too rich, just a little platter of exotic fruits,

on account of me and Vincent looking after our figures for the fayre.

Why?

Well, I'm entering the evening wear competition,

and Vincent's going for Mr Walford.

What?

I just didn't think that anyone was going to actually do that.

And why shouldn't I?

I just think it's a little bit demeaning, you know.

-Maybe you're jealous.

-Jealous?

Listen, Kushy-baby, you wait till the fayre.

I've got more curves than the Grand Prix track.

You saying that I don't?

Beyonce.

-Diana Ross.

-Ooh.

-OK.

Don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong,

she's a very beautiful woman, but she kinda...

She kinda...?

How do I enter?

D, you don't want to do that.

Oh, what, are you scared I'm going to win?

No, no, I mean I've seen her in a dress and she really pulls it out.

And you've just had a baby.

Who cares?

Look, she is beautiful, right, just the way she is.

And she's going to do it.

So am I.

Ha! How do you like that then, eh?

And he's got muscles on his muscles.

Muscles, schmuscles.

That's right, don't act like you ain't scared.

Cos me an' my man here, we are going to blow you off that stage.

Don't you worry about that.

Well, you bring it on.

Hug me.

SHE SOBS

-VIDEO:

-Take some mud, roll it in chocolate.

A lovely present for Walford's biggest idiot.

Oh, they look delicious.

-What is it?

-Shall we tell her it's cat poo?

LAUGHTER

SHE SOBS

-Look, she's just about to...

-What is she doing?

THEY LAUGH

Yes.

It's me.

Please, I need you.

There's no-one to talk to.

I can't cope any more.

I can't cope any more with it.